My Cousin Met A Brit in the Net

[perkins]

now he wants to come here in the Philippines to marry her. it is the first time they are going to meet in person.

please advise.

[ginapeterb]

Hello...you dont tell us much about this situation...actually what is your question ?? you say your cousin has met a British Guy on the net...so whats the question ? you say he is going to see your cousin...what can we help you with ??

Pete Forum Moderator

[perkins]

i am seeking advice, not making a question.

as you would read:

1. they met in the net
2. he wants to come here in the Philippines
3. to marry a family member
and
4. it is the first time they are going to meet in person

Filipinos are, of course, of a different culture. it is not quite regular for us to simply take in hook, line and sinker any new guy who comes to take away a member.

for one, we are concerned about her safety. there are good Brits and there are bad Brits too, i am sure you will agree.

i am seeking advise in behalf of the family; we are not questioning the relationship.

thank you very much, Pete; we hope you guys understand ;)

[Admin]

I met my missus back on the Net in 98, and we get on great, best thing we ever done.

As with any relationship, they can go wrong, and as we can not forsee the future, we have to go with what we feel now.

Only things to keep in mind are,

1) Is he single, divorced, etc. Which is probably yes, otherwise he wouldn't be going. If divorced, ask to see the paperwork.

2) Must have a decent stable job, as if the Filipino leaves the country the guy must support her. Here in UK she can't work or claim money for 2 years.

3) If they are both happy, their is nothing anyone else can usually do anyway as long as they are both adults.

4) Most guys who take the time to write and then visit are fine. The perverts/idiots usually go to Thailand for fun, or use mail order brides as they don't have the intelligence for courting.

5) The first time they meet is like any dating couple. Nervous, but buzzing with excitement. Just remind them of safe sex ;)

6) It's usually best not getting married in the Philippines, as it makes the immigration into the West much harder.

Just let them get on with it, would you spend 88,000 pesos going to see someone you thought you would not like halw way around the planet?

[ginapeterb]

Hello Freind,

I assume you are in the Philippines, if not please advise, with regards to your cousin and her relationship with a British Man, I can re-inforce some of the advices given by my colleague Keith, but would make the following comments and hoping that this helps you.

Firstly, perhaps it would be good for you to consider the following:_

1) If the gentleman concerned has bought a ticket to visit the Philippines with sole intention of visiting your cousin then this is a big step for him, quite possibly involving him in a large financial layout, taking time off work, giving up is holiday entitlement, and making a journey of some 6000 miles to see your cousin in a strange country with different customs and culture.

2) If your cousin is happy to receive the gentleman in her country exclusively it sounds like their is a relationship that has been formed.

3) If your cousin has consented to the visit and is waiting for such a visit, it is unlikely anything you say will have much effect, only perhaps your support would help.

4) It is unlikely that the gentleman has any untoward intentions or is a sex tourist as my colleague Keith has pointed out, if he was, he would more likely be heading to Pattaya in Thailand, where he can spend probably alot less money on getting what he wants.

5) I think our best advice is, just allow him to be his self, that usually brings out any bad intentions, if he is genuiine then your cousin wll surely make that determination.

Also can we draw your attention to our Forum section on obtaining a visa for a spouse/fiancee to enter the United Kingdom, you may wish to note my colleagues comments regarding employment, and his status, you will also note that their are rules for any British National wishing to bring a Philippine national back to UK for settlement.

The application procedures where possible have been put in Filipino as well as english.

I think my best advice is a "Wait and See" Approach, let the situation develop, if you are worried, communicate that to your cousin, just be aware that to ask a British person about their credentials in the first instance may not be polite, as if he asked your cousin certain personal questions in first meeting that might not be polite either.

All the best...if we can help you further we will be glad to, both Forum Admin and myself both met our partners via the internet, so thats good for you to take that into consideration.

Thanks for your enquiry.


Pete and Gina