New member all advice welcome

[tommyw]

Hi, great site!
My name is Tommy and am engaged to a Filipina that i met when i was visiting my sponsor child in february this year.
I have been back a further 2 times since then to be with her and also to meet her family in Mindoro.
I will be very grateful for any advice from other members. She has only just had her application for a tourist visa refused and filipina friends in my town have suggested I must go and marry her in the Philippines as she will also be refused a fiance visa. Is this advice accurate? I'm willing to keep an open mind and will follow the best course of action.
Also, if I am going to get married there, what are the steps I need to take and how long does it take usually for the visa to come after marriage?
Thankyou in advance for all help.
P.S. I also have a lot of friends in San Juan from Kyokushin karate, so if anyone is interested in full contact, knockdown karate, please let me know. They will be delighted to see you. Tommy.

[ervenescence]

Hello Tommy, welcome to the site.
Sorry to hear about the refusal of the visas of your fiancee. Any idea or reasons of why she has been refused?

I think the last resort is to marry her and sort the spouse visa, this is a big steps but you worth it if you are determine.

I suggests Petes website as I found it as very relevant source; http://www.british-filipino.com/How%20to%20Marry.html

goodluck

[ivor&mel]

Hi Tommy,

Did you apply for the tourist visa before or after you found the forum? :D It's not a route that is normally recommended here! But we can forget that now!

Let me get some facts straight. Was your first meeting in Feb 2006? And when exactly did you get engaged?

I'm not sure where your Filipina friends are coming from, but it is nonsense to say you will be refused a Fiancee Visa. Whether you decide to apply for a Fiancee or Spouse Visa is up to you two: you need to weigh up the pros and cons of both approaches, and information about both is available here and on Pete's site.

So... first decide which visa you want to go for. And, as I always say, don't try to rush it :)

Anyway, you're in the right place now. So good luck to you both along the path ahead.

[tommyw]

Thanks for replies. We got engaged on my 2nd trip which was late march/early April. And yes, we did apply for tourist visa before discovering this site. She was refused on the grounds that she had insufficient funds to convince them that she would definitely return to the Philippines. I now realise that only the rich seem to get these tourist visas, but hindsight is a great thing, di ba? As of yet, I'm not sure what the next step is for us as she was only refused on Thursday the 20th.
I have been looking at Pete's site all night, my head is bursting with all the info, it's all been a bit overwhelming. Anyway, many thanks for your concern and support, any more advice/tips will be most welcome. Regards, Tommy. (Crieff, Scotland)

[ivor&mel]

Tommy,

You're right: convincing the Embassy that a Filipina will return after a tourist trip is extremely difficult. But put all that behind you. I have to say again: don't rush it! Yes, there is a shedload of information to digest, so make sure you both understand what lies ahead.

You got engaged after just knowing each other for 2 months? I think that's a short time in the eyes of the Embassy. Indeed, your whole relationship is just 5 months. I'd suggest taking time to consolidate the relationship further before making a move towards a settlement visa. I know it's a pain, but so would be another refusal. You don't have to convince yourselves or people on the forum about your relationship, but you do have to convince the Embassy.

[scotsfiancee]

Thanks for replies. We got engaged on my 2nd trip which was late march/early April. And yes, we did apply for tourist visa before discovering this site. She was refused on the grounds that she had insufficient funds to convince them that she would definitely return to the Philippines. I now realise that only the rich seem to get these tourist visas, but hindsight is a great thing, di ba? As of yet, I'm not sure what the next step is for us as she was only refused on Thursday the 20th.
I have been looking at Pete's site all night, my head is bursting with all the info, it's all been a bit overwhelming. Anyway, many thanks for your concern and support, any more advice/tips will be most welcome. Regards, Tommy. (Crieff, Scotland)


Hi tommy nice to meet you here and your from scotland:BouncyHappy: ...how far is your place to aberdeen? just keep posted. Good luck for both of you!!

[mupsuit]

Hello Tommy

As you are at an early stage of your plans I am going to suggest that you plan to marry in the Philippines.

Why - it is simply to give your fiance and her family something to remember; after all she will leave home and family and travel 6000 miles to start a new life in a different country

Let her marry among family and friends - it will make a great start to your life together

Read Pete's site and then any queries you have can be given specific answers - we have all experienced what you are planning so there will be no shortage of advice and encouragement

All the best

[tommyw]

Hi tommy nice to meet you here and your from scotland:BouncyHappy: ...how far is your place to aberdeen? just keep posted. Good luck for both of you!!
Hi, thanks for your reply. Crieff is almost 100 miles from Aberdeen i think, 17 miles west of Perth. Regards, Tommy.

[scotsfiancee]

Crieff is the main town of Strathearn right? okay tommy have a nice day!:Hellooo:

[tommyw]

Hello Tommy

As you are at an early stage of your plans I am going to suggest that you plan to marry in the Philippines.

Why - it is simply to give your fiance and her family something to remember; after all she will leave home and family and travel 6000 miles to start a new life in a different country

Let her marry among family and friends - it will make a great start to your life together

Read Pete's site and then any queries you have can be given specific answers - we have all experienced what you are planning so there will be no shortage of advice and encouragement

All the bestThanks, I think that is our preferred option at the moment although I am keeping an open mind ( or trying to at least) If we get married, am I right in thinking that it may still be a long drawn out process after that? Regards, Tommy.

[tommyw]

Crieff is the main town of Strathearn right? okay tommy have a nice day!:Hellooo:
Yes, it's the capital of Strathearn. A lovely place to live and very central, I would say that being born and bred here.

[baboyako]

... and very central,...

that would be the middle of nowhere then :Rasp::Rasp::Hellooo:

[andypaul]

Tommy,

You're right: convincing the Embassy that a Filipina will return after a tourist trip is extremely difficult. But put all that behind you. I have to say again: don't rush it! Yes, there is a shedload of information to digest, so make sure you both understand what lies ahead.

You got engaged after just knowing each other for 2 months? I think that's a short time in the eyes of the Embassy. Indeed, your whole relationship is just 5 months. I'd suggest taking time to consolidate the relationship further before making a move towards a settlement visa. I know it's a pain, but so would be another refusal. You don't have to convince yourselves or people on the forum about your relationship, but you do have to convince the Embassy.

Well put Ivor.

The application process is tough as you are both in love but seperated and like all of us who have gone though the process already. Will find it a testing time.
You need to take the application as a project, fille all paperwork, research everything, double check all the plans you have and of course all the information regarding the visa application.

Try to look at your application impartially ask people on this site, we are not experts but have all gained knowledge and experince on this subject. My family and friends all wanted to help, but none had any experince on this matter.

Ivor is right you both need to dicuss in depth your furture and plan what to do.

Like others have said this and petes site have loads of invaluable infomation and insights. But make sure you ask all the questions that are nagging you, everyone on this site will try and help you i know this for sure:)

[tommyw]

Well put Ivor.

The application process is tough as you are both in love but seperated and like all of us who have gone though the process already. Will find it a testing time.
You need to take the application as a project, fille all paperwork, research everything, double check all the plans you have and of course all the information regarding the visa application.

Try to look at your application impartially ask people on this site, we are not experts but have all gained knowledge and experince on this subject. My family and friends all wanted to help, but none had any experince on this matter.

Ivor is right you both need to dicuss in depth your furture and plan what to do.

Like others have said this and petes site have loads of invaluable infomation and insights. But make sure you ask all the questions that are nagging you, everyone on this site will try and help you i know this for sure:)
Thanks for advice. What do you think is the best option, to marry there or try for a fiance visa? Thanks, Tommy.

[baboyako]

i think the success rates of tourist visa is about 0.0000001%
for fiancee visa it's a little better. hell, mine was refused.

since you have only known her since febuary, i would imagine it would be a total waste of time & money to go for the fiancee visa. if you're in no rush I'd wait for next year & a couple more trips out. then your chances will be much better.

[andypaul]

Thanks for advice. What do you think is the best option, to marry there or try for a fiance visa? Thanks, Tommy.

Hi Tommy

Well we got married in phill then applied. Remeber your family can most likely vist phil fro the wedding, but its hardly unlikely that your ladies family will be able to attend here.

It was cheaper for wedding and we employed various memebrs of the family and friends to cater, drive and do what ever needed for everything. This kept the money in the family as much as possible.

We had our reception in a beautiful resort in the hills in laguna, where the kids could swim in the pool or play in the playground, the oldies sit in open air reception while my wifes friends all sat by a beautiful lake.Even had rooms for people to change in and for the drivers to rest in. Would have cost thousands here in the Uk, there the food, hire of venue etc was well under a grand. Could be done a lot cheaper im sure if needed.

Im not sure another reason for marrying in phill was that my wifes passport was then in her married name (which is what my wife wanted) so therefore don't have to get passport and visa changed which im sure would be costly and loads of hassle.

we don't have to worry about visa/paperwork and the cost of FLR, and just have to concentrate on set(m) so my wife can apply for ilr in a year and a bit time:)

But do get to know your lady better and her know you better. Does she realise where she would live both location and actual homeplace, what is her english like? What would she do while your at work? Does she have skills relevant to the UK job market, if she plans to work here?

Where is the nearest place to you where you can get Phill/asian foods? where is the local phill/asian community?b

Does she realise the differences in culture in the uk and phill. Most western based people have travelled at some point in there lifes or have at least met people from all the corners of the world. But the majority of phills will have not.

Lots of questions and it all seems hertic but they are questions you need to think about as well as many others

[tommyw]

Hi Tommy

Well we got married in phill then applied. Remeber your family can most likely vist phil fro the wedding, but its hardly unlikely that your ladies family will be able to attend here.

It was cheaper for wedding and we employed various memebrs of the family and friends to cater, drive and do what ever needed for everything. This kept the money in the family as much as possible.

We had our reception in a beautiful resort in the hills in laguna, where the kids could swim in the pool or play in the playground, the oldies sit in open air reception while my wifes friends all sat by a beautiful lake.Even had rooms for people to change in and for the drivers to rest in. Would have cost thousands here in the Uk, there the food, hire of venue etc was well under a grand. Could be done a lot cheaper im sure if needed.

Im not sure another reason for marrying in phill was that my wifes passport was then in her married name (which is what my wife wanted) so therefore don't have to get passport and visa changed which im sure would be costly and loads of hassle.

we don't have to worry about visa/paperwork and the cost of FLR, and just have to concentrate on set(m) so my wife can apply for ilr in a year and a bit time:)

But do get to know your lady better and her know you better. Does she realise where she would live both location and actual homeplace, what is her english like? What would she do while your at work? Does she have skills relevant to the UK job market, if she plans to work here?

Where is the nearest place to you where you can get Phill/asian foods? where is the local phill/asian community?b

Does she realise the differences in culture in the uk and phill. Most western based people have travelled at some point in there lifes or have at least met people from all the corners of the world. But the majority of phills will have not.

Lots of questions and it all seems hertic but they are questions you need to think about as well as many others
Many thanks for your help. Please pardon my ignorance, but I don,t understand all the abbreviations you mention: flr; set(m); ilr?
Her English is very good and would have not much problem re work. I have tried my best to explain cultural differences etc. But, to be honest , this is a great part of the world to live. The many filipinos already in this area all agree on that. Regards, Tommy.

[tommyw]

i think the success rates of tourist visa is about 0.0000001%
for fiancee visa it's a little better. hell, mine was refused.

since you have only known her since febuary, i would imagine it would be a total waste of time & money to go for the fiancee visa. if you're in no rush I'd wait for next year & a couple more trips out. then your chances will be much better.
Thanks for your advice, i'll certainly take it on board. Tommy

[andypaul]

Hi Tommy

Flr is further leave to remain (i think) you need to apply for it once you get married in the uk if your Wife was here first on a finace visa.

SET(m) is the form you have to fill in to apply for ilr Indefinte leave to remain which you need to apply for after two years on a spouse visa, im not so sure how long if you take the finace visa route i guess about the same.

Please check all the above details as im no expert.

When i say how is your wifes English, im sure it is very good if speaking to yourself and others, but like my Wife who was brought up in a English speaking school in phill. But there is a big difference between her English skills which helped her pass with a good grade in ilets and speaking to native english speakers in a business or social enviroment. My Wife is still confused by some expressions and slang which we brits use, but is slowly picking them up.

My Wife was lucky to find a job after a few months but the market is very tough as you need refrences, some companies are wary if no National insurance number and also if no valid previous work experience/qualfications. In London and other big towns the shop, cafe and general job market as been flooded by workers from the EEC, in the last few years.

Like Baboyako says get to know one another for a few months and have a few more vists. This is good for both of you, its also important both to gather proof of contact (photos together, airline and hotel tickets etc.)

I wish you both all the best and hope that soon you are both together.

[tommyw]

Hi Tommy

Flr is further leave to remain (i think) you need to apply for it once you get married in the uk if your Wife was here first on a finace visa.

SET(m) is the form you have to fill in to apply for ilr Indefinte leave to remain which you need to apply for after two years on a spouse visa, im not so sure how long if you take the finace visa route i guess about the same.

Please check all the above details as im no expert.

When i say how is your wifes English, im sure it is very good if speaking to yourself and others, but like my Wife who was brought up in a English speaking school in phill. But there is a big difference between her English skills which helped her pass with a good grade in ilets and speaking to native english speakers in a business or social enviroment. My Wife is still confused by some expressions and slang which we brits use, but is slowly picking them up.

My Wife was lucky to find a job after a few months but the market is very tough as you need refrences, some companies are wary if no National insurance number and also if no valid previous work experience/qualfications. In London and other big towns the shop, cafe and general job market as been flooded by workers from the EEC, in the last few years.

Like Baboyako says get to know one another for a few months and have a few more vists. This is good for both of you, its also important both to gather proof of contact (photos together, airline and hotel tickets etc.)

I wish you both all the best and hope that soon you are both together.
Thanks for help, that clarifies things a bit. Tommy.