Disaster strikes!

[cruisingkerry]

Well, just as everything was going really well.... disaster strikes.

Bert has a 1 year old son to a young Filipina (one night stand before we met) who comes from a family where none of them have jobs and Bert is very concerned for his childs future, they won't let him see Kyle (the baby) so he worries about the upbringing Kyle is having, if he is ok, what he is eating - you know the things parents worry about.

Anyway, he is trying to get custody of Kyle, which of course I have no problem with! he's Berts son, he loves him, I love Bert ergo... Kyle ia part of my life in a roundabout sort of way. He has told his lawyer about our plans to get married but the lawyer says this will seriously damage his case to get custody of Kyle.

So, basically, the wedding is off for the minute. I'm still going to go over there (and kick this girls head in.... in true Geordie fashion - well not really, I'm way too soft for that kind of behaviour!!) to see Bert, after all I love him and want to support him in anyway I can.

He sounds gutted on the phone and I really don't want to make things more difficult for him, how much do I wish I was there now to hug hinm and tell him everything will work out fine in the end.

So now he has other problems like what he's going to do for work and money because he can't go back to sea if he's trying to get custody of the baby.

I'm proud of him because he so wants to be a good father to Kyle and even though its making his life very difficult in other ways all he wants os for his little boy to have a good life.

Anyway, jsut an update....
K xx

[maria_and_matt]

i had that problem with my ex, but my solicitor told me at that time that if i was married and settled it will make my case stronger, and it did. i think you should get a second opinion from a good family lawyer.

[IainBusby]

i had that problem with my ex, but my solicitor told me at that time that if i was married and settled it will make my case stronger, and it did. i think you should get a second opinion from a good family lawyer.

I agree.

[KeithD]

i had that problem with my ex, but my solicitor told me at that time that if i was married and settled it will make my case stronger, and it did. i think you should get a second opinion from a good family lawyer.
Plus the judge may prefer the kid being brought up in the UK. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Mrs Daddy]

ohhh hope you`ll solve this problem kerry.sorry to hear this :doh

[Piamed]

i had that problem with my ex, but my solicitor told me at that time that if i was married and settled it will make my case stronger, and it did. i think you should get a second opinion from a good family lawyer.
Makes sound sense to me! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[andypaul]

Me six

[patti1227]

Me eight:Erm:

[joebloggs]

has bert's solicitor told him he has a good chance of getting custody of the baby, I would have thought it would not be easy at all, as Philippine family law states ..

The law categorically provides that no child under seven years of age shall be separated from the mother, unless the court finds compelling reasons to order otherwise (Article 213, Family Code). In other words, the law presumes that the mother is the best custodian,which finds its reason in the basic need of a child for his mother’s loving care. Moreover, insofar as illegitimate children are concerned, they are under the parental authority of their mother (Article 176, Family Code).

What are the “compelling reasons” that are deemed sufficient to deprive a mother of custody over her child below seven years of age?

These instances of unsuitability include neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity, and affliction with a communicable illness.

even if she is unemployed, her family must be supporting her and the baby :Erm:

[andypaul]

has bert's solicitor told him he has a good chance of getting custody of the baby, I would have thought it would not be easy at all, as Philippine family law states ..

The law categorically provides that no child under seven years of age shall be separated from the mother, unless the court finds compelling reasons to order otherwise (Article 213, Family Code). In other words, the law presumes that the mother is the best custodian,which finds its reason in the basic need of a child for his mother’s loving care. Moreover, insofar as illegitimate children are concerned, they are under the parental authority of their mother (Article 176, Family Code).

What are the “compelling reasons” that are deemed sufficient to deprive a mother of custody over her child below seven years of age?

These instances of unsuitability include neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity, and affliction with a communicable illness.

even if she is unemployed, her family must be supporting her and the baby :Erm:

Good point sir its worth gettin a few views and opinions before setting out.
A single lawyer may just see pound/dollar/peso signs in his or her eyes.

[cruisingkerry]

thanks for all your comments.

Berts lawyer has made him aware of the points of law you've mentioned, I'm not sure if his lawyer has told him he has a good chance of custody or not, however, I know he'll want to do everything he can to make sure the baby is well looked after and provided for.

You know, if the childs mother would just let Bert and his family have a role in bringing the baby up then there would be no issue. Berts very concerned that the baby isn't well looked after due to the lack of money.

It always amazes me that mothers use their children to wield power over men, it really makes me sick no matter which country they're from or which culture they belong to. Its just not right.

Anyhoo, only 2 weeks and one day to go and I'll be on my way there, yippee!

At the end of the day, Kyle is a baby who can't take care of himself and Bert wants to be a good father to him and who am I to stand in the way of that? It gives me great faith that when we have a child together that he'll be a fantastic father, thats looking on the bight side

K xx

[joebloggs]

some lawyers are the lowest of the low, they drag it out to bleed you dry, i wouldn't want your b/f to waste money on something that has little chance of happening, I'm no lawyer, so i don't know what his chances are, but i would get a second and third opinion on his chances, b4 i would give a lawyer any more money.

and i hope he has a lawyer who specialises in custody cases, because with my limited experience of lawyers here regarding immigration law, they don't know the law :NoNo:

why doesn't bert buy the baby clothes, toys and give the mother a bit of money for the bb's needs, he might have more chance of seeing the baby that way, and be made more welcome than by taking her to court :Erm:


anyway lady, i wish you a great hol in the phils with bert :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[cruisingkerry]

he has been giving her money but still isn't allowed to see the baby or have any info about him.

Its all a worry! But I'll help and support him all I can while I'm there.

Thanks for your advice though

[IainBusby]

he has been giving her money but still isn't allowed to see the baby or have any info about him.

Its all a worry! But I'll help and support him all I can while I'm there.

Thanks for your advice though

Quid Pro Quo! Tell him to stop (suspend) sending money until he gets proper access to the child, I'm sure she'll soon change her mind when the money dries up.
Iain.