Courting a Filipina 10 points that bring res

[ginapeterb]

This Lady Called a “Filipina” The sensual side of her ?

Some background information about Sex, Marriage/Relationships, and attitudes in the Philippines.

Western men are under the impression that somehow Philippine women are totally different in genetic make up, than any other women they have ever seen before, They think because they come from the far east, they truly are made differently to Western women, well let us dispel some of that, but at the same time have some fun, hoping that you will have some fun reading this, trust me our female readers in the Philippines may be rolling about the floor laughing out loud, in their offices.

At the moment, I have had to keep the British flag flying out there in the Philippines, Keith our Forum Moderator has already flown the flag, and is now happily settled back in UK with his lady love, however, in his absence, I have had to take the bull by the horns, and keep the British end up, However Forum member Maurizio An Italian UK resident for some 35 years, (Europe and all that) has also been flying the Union Jack for us, and planting a few seeds along the way, So some of you out there, are going to have to come behind us, come on guys. The one thing to realize, is that out in the Philippines, you have some stiff competition, for one thing, Filipino males, are known to be very loving men, very clean, and very well dressed.

Filipino males are usually good at Lambing, and have suave looks, they know all the right things to impress a filipina, this of course is known as “Bola” let me explain this to you, firstly some Filipina’s have heard it all before, do you know what I mean, they have seen the show, worn the t shirt, and quite frankly, know all the chat up lines, bola is known as going around in circles, if you say for example “Oh you have beautiful eyes” hmmm they will say, “Oh you are making Bola” that is not to say, that they didn’t like being told they have beautiful eyes, quite the contrary, they did like it, they are just laughing about the fact, you are making Bola.

Does that mean that you should avoid the use of “Bola”, ha ha ha, of course it does not, you should use it at every given opportunity, we white boys from UK just have to make sure that our bola is better than theirs, so how can we do that ??

By Understanding what makes a Filipina warm to you, what is it that she likes ? Here are a few secrets, Ha ha now it all comes out….hmmm should I charge for this ??

Most Filipina’s like to read Cosmo, this is a barometer in the Philippines about what most Philippine women are thinking, firstly, what has happened in the Philippines of late, is quite literally a sexual liberation, gone now are the days of Maria Clara, in fact most of Manila’s jet set models, the ones I call the “Beautiful people of Makati” will tell you that “there are no Maria Clara’s anymore” this may not quite be true, but it does start to give you an indication that attitudes to female sexuality in the Philippines are slowly but surely changing, although before I cover that, attitudes to public display’s of affection are still entrenched in “Keeping up appearances”.


Philippine women do prefer to be modest when it comes to public displays of affection, so what do I mean by this ? “Well to be frank, don’t expect them to come pole vaulting to the Airport, and you end up kissing her with tongues “ because trust me that wont happen, the most you are likely to get is a polite peck on the cheek, this fits well with Filipino culture, which is one of formality, and appearance.

Why is this so.. Well for one thing, people in the Philippines, tend to be more concerned about what other people will say, remembering of course, that Filipinos are not as liberal or individualistic as perhaps we are in the West, communities are bound together much more, especially by the basic model of Philippine structure, the family, secondly, the influences of the Catholic church are very noticeable in the Philippines, Most Filipinas whilst they may not be devout Catholics, will certainly attend Mass and will adhere to the basic teachings of Catholicism.

Also, realizing that there is in many ways a link between state and church in the Philippines, this is evident in Philippine Marriages, Filipinos do see marriage as an eternal institution, even though I have found that this is in fact a little of a cover up for what is really going on behind closed doors, whilst marriage is second only to the family as a central institution of Philippine society, there are more and more legal separations now between younger Filipinos than ever before, contrasting this with the UK which has the highest divorce rate in Europe over 2 in 3 marriages actually end up in premature voluntary release, (no funny comments please) or Divorce as it is better known as, Philippine society suffers more Legal Separations than any other country, this is mainly due to the fact, that the State does not allow divorce in its purest form.

The courts in the Philippines will actually allow what is known as a Legal Annulment, however this is effectively a rich mans way of getting out of the current marriage contract so that he or she can marry again.

Filipina’s tend to behave in line with keeping up appearances, in other words, whatever they do in private, it is fair to say, they will not advertise it openly, this is reasonable when you think about it, after all, matters of sex outside of marriage are not much of a big story here in the UK, as there are quite frankly more couples living together under common law than married couples, but for a Filipina these matters are best left between her, and her boy friend, the last thing a Filipina needs is to give Barangay number 69 ( no dirty comments please ) a juicy story for the next 30 years, trust me they will talk about it, hence public affection is out, polite affections is in.

A 2004 sex survey of Philippine women gave out some very surprising results, considering they are all good Catholic girls, 65 per cent of women surveyed admitted to not being virgins, 84 per cent claimed they enjoyed sex.

So if that’s true, where are all of these 84 per cent of women, well waiting for you lot to pull your socks up, sort yourselves out and get out there !!

[ginapeterb]

If you get out there ok, how are you going to beat the local competition ?? That is the Filipino male ??

Here is my 10 point plan for Success in Winning the heart of a Philippines lady



1. First you have to be Guwapo !

Philippine women are extremely clean, and very hygiene conscious, they don’t like smells, odours, dirty finger nails, beards, facial hair, so de-grime your nails, wash behind your ears, treat yourself to a wash cut and blow ….dry (stop it, keep your innuendos to yourself you lot) and in this way you might be sending out positive vibes to the babe you are pursuing, as a general rule, anything that you put in your mouth, should be utterly clean, be practical about these things boys, is no use thinking about the whipped cream and raspberry ripple routine, if your body isn’t smooth.

David Beckham has proved that if you’ve got the money and a Hugh Grant accent, great, women don’t really care how you do your hair, but hey, you haven’t got his money, and you cant bend it like Beckham so you had better compensate with sticking to neater hair styles, so that she can actually tell you are a male heterosexual man looking for a cute babe to romance, there is no point going out to the Philippines looking like a Sheila, anyway, there are plenty of those in the Philippines already without Debbie does Manila.

It is said that shorter hair does highlight the eyes more for a filipina, she likes to look into your eyes, but normally she is trying to get into your head, just to find out whats behind the fresh face from Skelmersdale. A Filpina always seems to want to know what you are thinking, and she always seems to get her own way, not by nagging, but by other methods, don’t let her in too early, keep the mystery going, make her want you, make her think if she doesn’t get her act together, time is passing her by, and there are plenty more fish in the sea, having said that, don’t keep her waiting too long, before you start putting her to sleep.

2. Nice Smells - A Filipina loves a man to smell great.

If you think your Hugh Grant accent and Oxford bags are going to win her over, wake up and smell the coffee, Philippine women are very sensitive to smells, think about this before you go out for the day with her, check your anti-perspirant, or your Brut 33, if she gives you that look, maybe your Lacoste aftershave aint making it, stick to a scent that you are familiar with, remembering that the temperatures out there are 32 at night, and can be as high as 45 during the day, a nice smelling white boy, tells a Filipina you are a domesticated regular guy, not a cave man from the dark corners of the Universe, ready to drag her off to your lair in the mountains of Newcastle upon Tyne.

If you feel that you need some help in the scent of a man department, grab a trusted female colleague before you go out to “Country” (NOT YOUR MUM) nip over to the nearest department store and go for sniff session.
Generally a clean cologne is probably a safe bet, heavier scents may smell of S…E…X… in the store, but flop when you are out in the heat of the provinces, once you have stood in a bar for a couple of hours, and downed a few San Miguel’s, you wont be sending out any other signal, than a sweaty body, so keep your anti perspirant around, perhaps a small can, fresh breath is also important, A Filipina likes a man who takes good care of his dental hygiene, you might think a Filipina eats some of the most unusual things at lunch and dinner, but she does take care of her dental hygiene, you do the same.

3. Learn the Body Language of a Filipina.

Some of you White boys out there, need to understand that before you open your mouth and put your foot in it, body language can play a big part before you deliver your killer chat up line.

Flirtation is great with a Filipina, it’s a kind of foreplay that helps you to read her right, but do try not to keep ogling at her breasts, its doesn’t matter how much you stare at them, they don’t do much expect rise and fill in time with her breathing, so you cant learn much from them.

A Filipina’s eyes are a much better barometer to what she is thinking, ask most guys who have filipina girlfriends, they will tell you, they expect you to know what they are thinking by moving their eyes, and raising their eyebrows, if her pupils dilate, she is interested, keep an eye out for her blink rate, if its higher, then she is liking you, it means you have caught her eye, its time to move a little closer.

If you think this has worked, don’t home in on her like the target acquisition system on a Euro fighter, trust me its better to take your time and later rather than sooner is better, when it comes to courtship rituals, try mirroring her body language, when it comes to sexual body language, human language is not much different to an animals although, don’t try and feed her a banana, she is not a female gorilla, if she smiles, you smile, its something we all do subconsciously every day, although most of the time we are not aware of it.

What you can do is construct a rhythmic flirtation with her, but then before she knows it, you take the lead, and take her where you want to go, and then hey presto, she loves it, A Filipina likes a guy to make her secure, she likes security, but most of all she wants to be respected as a woman, can you make her feel respect, and at the same time, give her security, if you can do that, you are one step ahead of the local competition, very often they run at the first sign of hard times, A Filipina wants a man who will stand by her, in times of adversity, through thick and thin, she respects a man who does that, she has a need for security, a reassuring hand in the small of her back when walking in town with her, will give her that little feeling of security, it tells her she is loved, and appreciated, this is the power of touch.

4. Chat up lines, conversation and anecdotes, How to act ?

Telling a Filipina your whole life story, is not always a great way to make her laugh, also telling dirty jokes is a big turn off, leave all of this behind in the UK, she doesn’t need to hear about your ex, she is more interested in what you will say about her looks, although try not to make it too obvious you are undressing her with your eyes, she is not stupid, A Filipina will soon start to notice your stares, and also, staring at other Filipina’s in town is a passion killer, A Filipina needs to know that both eyes are on her, not Mary Joy walking in the opposite direction, looking at other women in town, is considered to be very impolite, put your tongue back in its place, in case she trips over it while you are walking.

Do be careful of killer chat up lines, if you are not confident with these, don’t bother you can go from a mysterious hunk to a flip flop in Room 27 don’t get me wrong all Filipinas like a good laugh, just make sure you are not the object of it.

One good tip, Most Filipina’s don’t drink, so a quick trip to a local bar, for a swift half, will render their bullshit (bola) detector unserviceable, so if you feel like delivering a great line, such as “Your eyes are like the Pacific Ocean” “When I see them I want to dive in”, If the Bola detector is down, you might get away with this one.

5. Bedroom Secrets of the Filipina, the myths dispelled !

Does size matter ? Yes it does, but maybe not for the reasons you lot are thinking of…oooooohhh I can hear some croaking already.. Stop it all your Tarzans out there, if 2 guys walk into a bar, one with slumped down shoulders, and shy, the other confident and fairly straight shoulders, a Filipina will tend to warm towards the confident one, she is aware that generally a confident guy has the goods, a big wallet ha ha ha, but if you haven’t got it fake it, anyway, most women that is not just Filipino’s think whats between your ears is your best organ, that is your brain, most of them are attracted to a good sense of humour, brains and intelligence, come on you can use that to good advantage.

There are no top 10 conversation topics you might want to avoid, but in truth, the top 3, I thought of are

You
You
You

You want to get the sexual chemistry going between you and the room temperature rising, not your hot air coming out.

A Filipina likes to talk about herself, most of them will not sleep with you if they think you are only after sex, which of course you are not are you boys ?? So be interested in her personality rather than her curves, but do steer clear of personal questions, ask about her educational successes, or jobs, but not about her boob jobs.

6. Going out to Party. How to be different in the crowd !

Filipina’s love to party, they love to go out to Videoke and love to enjoy themselves out on the town, If your Filipina babe likes to dance, show her a few of your moves, she will think you are confident about your body, even if you down 10 pints of Stella, most evenings, getting up for a turn on the dance floor will do wonders for your reputation.

If she is on the dance floor and you aint ? Then if you join her, this will put you into her personal zone, this is a small area around her, where she feels your presence, this can be very powerful, and she can take note of all that testosterone that is kicking around near her.

7. Playing the field. Making your move on her !

A Filipina needs to feel a mix of the formal and the sexual, try and mix the two together, I.e. if you are in an initial meeting with her, say for example, its your first visit to the Phils, and its your 1st few days with her, try to say something nice about her, maybe her choice of clothes, her outfit, her hair, not making it too obvious, but try to mix the sensual with the non sensual, in other words, you can make a minor sexual comment, enough to arouse her sensuality, but at the same time, not making her feel uncomfortable, or violated.

You can use words and body movements very easily here to arouse her sensuality, Filipina’s are extremely sensual women, this is of course, a weakness in one sense, since it lets them become vulnerable to being Charmed, this is no doubt reflected in the growing population in the Philippines. (stop laughing)

Take advantage of her sensuality, by stroking her verbally with pleasing comments, her eyes, her hair, come on, you know how that Jet Black hair is so attractive to us White Boys, you can gently touch her hair, and move it from her face, in a small gesture, this is a very powerful move as it brings in the power of touch, also try lowering your voice with her, a higher pitched voice is not as sexy as a lower pitch voice, if its clear you can’t cut it as Hugh Grant, don’t try, if you lower the volume of your voice, it forces her to move in closer to you to hear what you are saying, her neck and ears are very sensitive, a cheeky brush against her ears, may start her pulse racing a little, but don’t move in for the grand finale, your not Don Juan ok !

8. The 1st time together in the Hotel room, up close and personal

Don’t try and get drunk on the 1st night, because you are trying to get rid of nerves, Nerves and alcohol are the cause of erectile dysfunction, if you don’t know about this, it’s a show stopper.

Chances are if she has allowed you into the same room with her she is comfortable, she is there because she wants you, now you have gotten this far, don’t blow it, by being anxious to get down to business, take your time, A Filipina is not a Wham Bang thank you Maam! Kind of girl, she wants to be romanced, maybe you should have got nice lush to put in her bath, make sure you bathe thoroughly and she will be doing the same, she wont be wanting to use the whipped cream unless you have.( stop it you lot)

Cosmo Philippines reported openly (2004) (so I am just repeating their stats) that 87 per cent of Philippine women prefer at least 45 minutes to 1 hour of foreplay before sexual intercourse takes place, in the same magazine, it was reported that many Philippine women married to or in relationships with Foreign men, (mainly Japanese) complained that the main cause of marital discontent was that the man “did not say he loved them enough” and “did not spend enough time in foreplay” so those are the figures.

9. Logistics and window dressing.

Have you heard the saying that “Diamonds are a girls best friend” this is certainly true of a Filipina, she loves it, she loves to wear exquisite jewellery, she loves to dress in the latest outfits, she loves to shop for fashion accessories, if you have the wallet to go with the size of your CD collection,( come on that was damn funny !) then take her shopping, and take your time, with her in the various fashion stores of Manila, she loves to try on clothes, comment on how good she looks in outfits, try to find colours for her, she loves that, just taking time out to let her know you want her to enjoy herself, is highly sensual for her also, it lets her see how domesticated you can be, if you want to, most men hate shopping, in a 2003 survey done by UK FHM magazine, shopping for men was seen as stressful as moving house, and having a visit for root canal treatment.
Buck the trend, and give her a good time, finally, buy her a beautiful diamond ring, A Filipina loves diamonds, its sexy and its chic, ohhhhhhh watch her face light up !

10. Consolidating your Position.

So you made your move, you were successful, she is in your bed, you make her laugh, things are going well, she is staring at you constantly, you can see she is in love with you, now its time to just continue being yourself, make sure she sees, that you are not a flash in the pan, not full of hot air, a passing ship going the other way, consolidate your successes, now you have won her heart, keeping it is another thing, When a Filipina falls in love, she is very serious, at this point she is extremely vulnerable to you now, having given herself to you, given her heart to you, and she is yours hook line and sinker, she is vulnerable to your let downs, don’t let her down, she has staked her happiness on your sweet words, do us proud and see you at the wedding chapel.


(Sub notes)

This article has been written with a light hearted look at Fil-West courtships, please read it in the spirit that it has been written, it is not meant to offend anyone, and seeks to provide some form of light relief on the UK Filipino Forum, thanks for reading.
Any comments are welcome.

(Stats are taken from Cosmo Magazine Philippines and FHM UK)