jealous with his ex wife

[mickandsherryl]

jealous with his ex wife

[trader dave]

you pilipinas have to chill out sometimes not take everything we say as serious one of the hardest things you have to learn is THE ENGLISH SENSE OF HUMOUR you cant learn it from a book no one understands it only us :doh its best to bite ones tongue sometimes and take a step back and think did i understand that properly :furious3:

[Florge]

wow! all i can say is, you shouldn't have asked him to compare you and the ex-wife... you are digging your own grave girl.. and you have put him on the spot there... it's a dangerous game your trying to play... i guess he's right... and trader dave is right... chill... kalma ka lang... what he and the ex-wife had was over... he still loves her until now only because she is still and would always be the mother of his kids... you can't just throw it away... but the important thing is the present.. he has you now and you will face the future together... parang pops and martin lang yan eh... martin still loves pops kasi they have their children.. and they love each other as friends...baka ganun din lang sila ng ex nya... making him choose between you and the ex would only drive him away from you... hope my 2 cents worth had helped.... god bless you and your husband... ingat!

[mickandsherryl]

Hello trader dave i dont think he was just joking coz he even apologise and cried that his honesty upsets me and said he wanted to lie but he cant just lie.

I dont think i am too jealous too. If i am i wont allow his ex wife to rent the spare bedroom of his house for 4 months and even after we got married.
It wasnt a big deal to me when we are not married yet but after we got married i asked him to tell her she cant stay there anymore.
But he said if he will his daughter will be upset and he dont want that so he better move to his mom to keep me happy and his daughter but it means we cant talk online everyday and we will just talk saturday and sunday so i just understand and agreed he will stay there and his ex wife renting there in the vacant room and with daughter too coz of course i wnat to talk to him everyday. When his ex wife move to her new place he told me his ex asked him to help her to move some of her stuff and i allowed him. But when i said once i am there already i dont want to see ur ex wife coz i might get jealous he just said i cant stop her to come here of course she will want to see her daughter and i dont want to upset my daughter too. So am i bad? am i too demanding and jealous?

[pennybarry]

Just this morning my husband and i argued online and i was even loud or maybe screamed already at him on headphone. He was still calm but admitted he almost explode and might say things that he might regret in the end.

It just stared last wek friday that he asked me to rate him from 1 to 10 and i asked him in return too to rate me and his ex wife. I asked him to rate his ex wife now that they are over and im his new wife and to rate her as well before they split up and thy still have good relationship and when they was still together but was still fat coz she already lose now. He rated her 10 when they was still together and when their relationship was still strong and he rated her 7 when she becomes fat and still together too and now that they are over and lose weight he rated her 7 still. He said that she has good body now compared before but she becomes older in her face already too while before she was fat but prettier. I asked him whats his rate to me and he answered 10 but he added to be honest if i am going to choose now between you and her, well if i will consider looks wise i will choose you but if i will consider personality wise i will choose her. I understand that she is really different to me. She is quite and preferred to keep her felings even she is upset while i am more showy if i am upset and mad which he said he is more prefered that i will tell him if i am upset coz atleast he can make things right and sort problem not like his ex that would just pretend happy and suddenly just explode and left him. Its like i appreciate his honesty but it made me annoyed. It made me feel maybe i am really a buang asawa.

I asked him again whos is the girl u ever love the most?. I asked him lots of times already and his answer is i dont want to answer that or sometimes he will say its me. But Last friday i made him admit and he said his ex wife.
I know i am crazy for being jealous but sometimes i cant help it.
I did asked him why is ur ex wife the girl u love the most and he said the lenght of time coz they was married for 20 years and had 2 kids. I said why i cant be the girl u ever love the most i am ur wife now and i have the right and reason to want that. He said i will be if i am in Uk already.
I asked him again is it just the lenght of time or its because of the personality she is much nicer than me and im not and he said no the lenght of time which i think is a lie coz he said it already if he will choose personality wise he will choose her.

I feel so bad and feel so insecure this time.
He asked my apology and cried and said sorry for making me upset and said he wanted to lie to please me but he cant just do it and it just made me feel more bad.
He said if only he can alter his past he will to make me happy.
He said he loves me lots and im the most important thing in his life now and thats what matters most and that i will be the girl he will love the most in his life coz i will be with him forever and we will have more happy times together.
We was okay already yesterday and we argue again this morning about his daughter so we decided to give each other space untill i go back to my normal self thats what he said. He said that i am not the girl he marry that i changed.

I want to be a good asawa to him and make him happy.
But its like i am not good enough to him that he said He will choose her personality than mine, when she left him and cheated on him once.
I really dont know what to feel i just feel to low.
To those who has divorce husband how did u able to handle ur husbands ex wife and not get jealous with her.
I dont want to be jealous anymore coz it upsets me and its not nice and it upsets him at the same time. But it does bother me now that he likes her personality more than mine. I really feel low and insecure and i feel bad that maybe i am not good enough to him.

Never compare yourself with anybody as every person is unique, never let him choose and never reminisce the past of your husband.
Cheer up! Be proud of yourself and be friendly and submissive to him.
Jealousy make turns you to evil:D

[aromulus]

Never compare yourself with anybody as every person is unique, never let him choose and never reminisce the past of your husband.
Cheer up! Be proud of yourself and be friendly and submissive to him.
Jealousy make turns you to evil:D


:NoNo:

sub⋅mis⋅sive   /səbˈmɪshttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngɪv/ http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/IPA_pron_key.html) Show Spelled Pronunciation [suhhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngb-mis-iv] http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html) Show IPA
–adjective 1.inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient:



Sub*mis"sive\, a. 1. Inclined or ready to submit; acknowledging one's inferiority; yielding; obedient; humble.

:NoNo:

[ginapeterb]

Hello! It's Gina here. Pete emphasized that I have to write as me in a woman's point of view and not to be mistaken as him writing.

It's pretty ordinary though that we have to deal with our husband's exs and it is a nasty experience at times. So, when Pete and I were just starting...... I told Pete that I don't want to see her xxxxx face or have anything to do with her in the early days of our marriage.

And long behold, we started our married life without interferences from the past. And now, it is only in passing that we talk about it. What is there to dig in the past anyway? Staying friends with the ex is alright, but going out with them and staying in the same roof with them is so far-fetched for me.

But of course, it would be different when you have children. But arragements can be made without making a big fuss about it. The concentration is on the children not the wife.

I would treat it the same way should the situation is the other way round.

[mickandsherryl]

Yeah thanks for all ur replies. I know now its my fault. I really have to shut up my mouth and ask his apology of keep digging his past.

I am not really that jealous i was even talking to his ex online before but it started when we were talking online and she sent it wrong to me that is suppose to her friend that my husband did threaten her to use internet and she said she cried and later on my husband admitted that he said that coz he was jealous looking at her smiling while chatting online to her online bf.
I asked my husband about this but he said its not true.
That this is just all in her mind. He also said that his ex once talk to him after she meet his online bf and didnt work and told my husband its really hard to find an honest guy like you. Since then i get jelous over her. But now i will have to sort thisnout and talk to him as he is just waiting for my text:). Thank you

[Pepe n Pilar]

HI Mickandsherryl,
Sorry to hear how your relationship is going with regards to his ex. First never compare yourself with anyone else. Each one is unique in each own way. You should have not asked him about the ratings. There is a saying "honesty is the best policy" good to know that he is so honest about his feelings but, there are times that one has to be discreet if it will badly affect the much protected relationship.

If i were on your shoes i won't allow his ex and him to be in one roof. There could be an agreement so that both parties will be comfortable. If he is comfortable with that and how about you? i'm pretty sure you will also think what if it is on the reverse situation. In my opinion being in a relationship both has to agree on some point where both has to be comfortable. If he has set rules then you may also tell him what you like and don't like. As a wife we should be submissive but he has to respect that submissiveness of his wife as not all wives possess that good character.
:)

[Jay&Zobel]

:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:



Listen to them Sheryl... They all are right...

Hope things will work out on you and Mick...

[jta]

Hi mickandsheryll,

As said above don't ask comparison cause it's so hurting if unfavorable to u, unless u are ready about it. Same as u, few months of my marriage I did asked my husband about his ex, even not asking him I can tell that he loves her very much because he keeps mentioning her and even keep things belong to her though they got divorced 25 years ago (pictures, love letters, dresses etc.) ...yes I felt jealous but I didnt get angry instead I told him how I feel just normal talks like a friend, then we end up compromising, so I asked him about the things belong to her ex if I can throw them and give the dresses to charity, and then he agreed and everything is fine. It's only a matter of good communication, as I understand u are his wife now so keep the good things and even more, put the past behind your back and face the future, don't get angry quickly, just tell him how u feel and suggest to him the possible remedy and arrangement for that feeling. Everything can be resolved in a good talk and nice cup of tea!! hope this will help

[Pepe n Pilar]

Been divorced for 25 years and he still has her dresses?
Pictures, (but not letters and dresses) can be kept as that is a part of his past. It is past and we can't change it. We can do something about the present and the future but not the past. She was once his love so for me it's understandable i will still arrange them in an album.:)It depends if this is acceptable with the present wife, as we all have different views on this.

[pennybarry]

:NoNo:

sub⋅mis⋅sive   /səbˈmɪshttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngɪv/ http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/IPA_pron_key.html) Show Spelled Pronunciation [suhhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngb-mis-iv] http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html) Show IPA
–adjective 1.inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient:



Sub*mis"sive\, a. 1. Inclined or ready to submit; acknowledging one's inferiority; yielding; obedient; humble.

:NoNo:


Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. . ."

So God commanded men to love in the same way that Jesus loved us. This would assure the woman that she could not be abused in any way and would make it very easy to submit to him.

So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation was formed. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is being mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery and that was how Jesus was treated when he was given over to the Sanhedrin and for that matter by us who have been the ones who were guilty of disobedience in the first place.

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18)
:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

Amen:action-smiley-081:

[pacificelectric]

Everything can be resolved in a good talk and nice cup of tea!!


Ah you Brits! Ever heard of red wine????? :D:D:D

Anyway I have read enough wise stuff above to save my two cents for a better occasion. And avoid these childish "rating" games: very often others rate yourself much lower than your own assessment! :BouncyHappy:

For linguists, I just want to point out that a "nice cup of :censored:" is an oxymoron....

[aromulus]

Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. . ."

So God commanded men to love in the same way that Jesus loved us. This would assure the woman that she could not be abused in any way and would make it very easy to submit to him.

So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation was formed. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is being mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery and that was how Jesus was treated when he was given over to the Sanhedrin and for that matter by us who have been the ones who were guilty of disobedience in the first place.

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18)
:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

Amen:action-smiley-081:





:spam1:mer..........:doh


:icon_lol:

:ARsurrender:

:Hellooo:

[mickandsherryl]

Thank u for all ur replies. I know its kind of awkward to know did they live in one roof. He asked me about it and i said yes coz we wasnt married yet that time and she become a friend of mine online that i asked her what is his favorite food and their daughter so i could cook it when they come here, but after we got married i asked him to tell her she cant stay there anymore but he is worried about their daughter that will get upset and if my husband would move to her mom we cant talk online everyday and i dont want that so i agreed. I wasnt jealous over her that time and i was thinking to make her daughter happy as well. Just recently that if he will ask me something about his ex i will still yes even i am jelous already coz i am considering his daughter`s feelings and he always say his daughter might get upset. Well his daughter is 15 years old and was just thinking that she could visit her mom instead her mom would visit her at his house so i wont be jelous anymore.
Well i guess ive done my part to please his daughter and him and even his ex as well so i asked now that she moved its time to start to live a normal life without her but when i asked is it ok if ur ex wont come to ur house anymore when i am there already still he said no i cant stop her to come here coz my daughter will get upset.


I just feel bad that he said she has greater personality than i am when i think i was been understanding too specially when it comes to his daughter and i did feel why i alwasy consider their feelings how about mine. But we are okay now. We talked yesterday afternoon and i said sorry for being so childish and insecure. He is just glad that i am back to my normal self lol and just asked me to stop using pill coz he think that i am experiencing depression with that pill that i get annoyed easily this past few days. But we are happy now again and i learned my lessons and stop this childish game. Thank you

[Colin]

Been divorced for 25 years and he still has her dresses?
.

Maybe they still fit him:xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol: Joke!!

[SteveL]

Why is it that it's the beautiful Filipino's who are so insecure ? Take me, i'm 17years older than my fiance, I've got a big belly and diabetes which means my little fella doesnt always want to play and more often than not requires a blue pill. Yet my fiance, who is 22, the most beautiful creature who ever walked the earth and is caring and understanding is also a complete demon when it comes to jelousy. She thinks i still love my ex wife (i dont) she thinks i prefer her best friend (doh) and she thinks she is lucky to have me ...............Me, i think i'm lucky she loves me. Do i wish she wasnt so paranoid? YES but i will live with it. :)
Dont waste your time thinking why love exists, spend your time in love and thank God for every second. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Florge]

Why is it that it's the beautiful Filipino's who are so insecure ? Take me, i'm 17years older than my fiance, I've got a big belly and diabetes which means my little fella doesnt always want to play and more often than not requires a blue pill. Yet my fiance, who is 22, the most beautiful creature who ever walked the earth and is caring and understanding is also a complete demon when it comes to jelousy. She thinks i still love my ex wife (i dont) she thinks i prefer her best friend (doh) and she thinks she is lucky to have me ...............Me, i think i'm lucky she loves me. Do i wish she wasnt so paranoid? YES but i will live with it. :)
Dont waste your time thinking why love exists, spend your time in love and thank God for every second. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

at your age you already need the blue pill???? oh my! ... well, thank god for the blue pill.... lol... :Cuckoo:

[Piamed]

There is no way that any of us can be perceived as 'better' than someone else in every possible way, all of the time. It's an unrealistic goal. I speak out of love when I say you are a married woman now and must grow up otherwise you will be the primary cause of a lot of strife in your marriage and a lack of inner peace.

One of my greatest joys in my own life is that my wife laughs freely and smiles often. For me much of my success and pride as a man is measured by the joy manifested in my wife's happiness and well being as well as those of my family, close friends and those I interact with.

When any of us allows envy and unbriddled emotion to make others unhappy and undermine our relationships, the devil wins. Take charge of your emotions amiga and be a source of constant joy in your marriage and the rock upon which your marriage will stand strong.

All the best.

[Sconnie]

Well said Toks,
you express what many of us want to say in a way we can't.

pleased I got a mention also.... :-)

[Pepe n Pilar]

Very well said Piamed. very nice words.:):xxgrinning--00xx3:

There is this very popular filipino saying:
Ang lalake ang haligi ng tahanan at ng babae ang ilaw nito.

English Translation:

The man serves as the pillar of the home (which is the foundation that makes it strong)
and the mother/wife the light (which makes the relationship full of life)

Sorry don't know the translation of haligi:doh:rolleyes::)

[Piamed]

Well said Toks,
you express what many of us want to say in a way we can't.

pleased I got a mention also.... :-)Smoothie! Which one were you my skirted friend? :icon_lol:


Very well said Piamed. very nice words.:)

There is this very popular filipino saying:
Ang lalake ang haligi ng tahanan at ng babae ang ilaw nito.

English Translation:

The man serves as the post of the house (which is the foundation that makes it strong)
and the woman the light (which gives life to the relationship)

Sorry don't know the translation of haligi:dohSalamat amiga! Nice saying. I also say: The husband is the head of the home, the woman is the neck - don't mess with the neck as it controls the head! :icon_lol:

[misscarie]

I also say: The husband is the head of the home, the woman is the neck - don't mess with the neck as it controls the head! :icon_lol:

:icon_lol: it made me laugh Kuya Toks :D

thanx for the call :)

[Piamed]

:icon_lol: it made me laugh Kuya Toks :D

thanx for the call :)

Hehe! A wise man knows that he is never in control but rather from to time his wife may let him think he is! It's always nice to talk with you. See you on the 21st! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[misscarie]

Hehe! A wise man knows that he is never in control but rather from to time he may think he is! It's always nice to talk with you. See you on the 21st! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yeah , i hope we can come on the 21st if simon is not too busy :doh :Brick:

[mickandsherryl]

Thank you for ur advice. I know i was being childish and im just lucky that my husband is been understanding and remained calm. I agree that i will be the primary cause of lot of strife if i continue like being crazy. I am glad that i did overcome it and understand my faults and im more happy to see my husband happy and laughing again. We didnt have a good coversation for 3 days and he said he really missed that lots. He said he misses the normal me, my jokes and my laughs that if he is having a bad day it always helped him get through the day. I said sorry for the stress ive cause and he said thank you for thinking rational again and for being a loving wife again. Thank you for all ur advice it helped me to enlighten my mind. We are a happy couple again.

[Sconnie]

[QUOTE=Piamed;120382]Smoothie! Which one were you my skirted friend? :icon_lol:
QUOTE]

ENVY of course.:D

[Piamed]

Thank you for ur advice. I know i was being childish and im just lucky that my husband is been understanding and remained calm. I agree that i will be the primary cause of lot of strife if i continue like being crazy. I am glad that i did overcome it and understand my faults and im more happy to see my husband happy and laughing again. We didnt have a good coversation for 3 days and he said he really missed that lots. He said he misses the normal me, my jokes and my laughs that if he is having a bad day it always helped him get through the day. I said sorry for the stress ive cause and he said thank you for thinking rational again and for being a loving wife again. Thank you for all ur advice it helped me to enlighten my mind. We are a happy couple again.Praise God. I'm sure you bring joy to him every day. All the best to you both amiga.


[QUOTE=Piamed;120382]Smoothie! Which one were you my skirted friend? :icon_lol:
QUOTE]

ENVY of course.:DI believe you are deadly (I've seen your dancing)but no way a sin. I nearly said you're a pleasure but folks here may get the wrong impression :)

[Pepe n Pilar]

Smoothie! Which one were you my skirted friend? :icon_lol:

[I]Salamat amiga! Nice saying. I also say: The husband is the head of the home, the woman is the neck - don't mess with the neck as it controls the head! :icon_lol:


:icon_lol::icon_lol::cwm12::cwm12::Hellooo::Hellooo:

[Jay&Zobel]

Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. . ."

So God commanded men to love in the same way that Jesus loved us. This would assure the woman that she could not be abused in any way and would make it very easy to submit to him.

So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation was formed. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is being mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery and that was how Jesus was treated when he was given over to the Sanhedrin and for that matter by us who have been the ones who were guilty of disobedience in the first place.

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18)
:NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

Amen:action-smiley-081:


I LOVE THIS!!!! Thank you :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:



:spam1:mer..........:doh

:icon_lol:

:ARsurrender:

:Hellooo:


OI, SHE IS NOT!!! LOL! When you need answers, read the Bible heheh :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

I LOVE THIS!!!! Thank you :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:





OI, SHE IS NOT!!! LOL! When you need answers, read the Bible heheh :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks JandZ!
You're right I'm not a Spammer but a hacker:action-smiley-081:
I love spam lols it taste like next to human flesh:D

:BouncyHappy::ARsurrender: