Costs of courtship/Marriage to a filipina ?

[ginapeterb]

Have you ever thought about what the likely cost would be, if you wanted to court a Filipina with a view to an eventual marriage, few actually count the cost, if you haven’t thought about it, maybe its time you did, because in many cases, you will need to treat this like a project, why do I say this, well for one thing, the cost of courting a Filipina and taking it to eventual marriage, can have an adverse effect on your wallet, so do you have deep pockets, hmm you might need them.

I don’t want to scare anyone, that is not my intention, because in truth, even if you don’t have lots of savings, you can actually take this process stage by stage, and if you are that keen to marry a Filipina, you can save up for each stage as it comes, however, this can also go to lengthen the process for many, however the Immigration process can be quite expensive so, I have posted a timeline with actual real time expenses to show readers what is involved.

Before you jump in with both feet, my suggestion is simple, you should sit down and do some calculations and see where you are, see if you have the necessary funds and or income to go through with this type of project.

I will list first the one time expenses, these are expenses that you will probably only spend money on once, but are a necessary step.

Your one time visit to the Philippines to meet your loved one, this is a requirement that you must have met your intended, this is the minimum requirement for a VAF2 2003 Fiancée visa. This cost includes Round trip air tickets to Manila/Cebu, accommodation, food, trips, etc £2000-£3000.00
A Return trip should you choose to marry in the Philippines, this could include Round Trip air tickets, Accommodation, Food, Honeymoon, Wedding costs, etc the cost for this one off expense is around £3000.00 - £4000.00
Passport photos needed along the way. £10.00
Passport photos required for you in various forms needed by authorities in Philippines around £15.00
Cost of submitting An Application on VAFW 2003 for either a fiancée visa or a spouse visa is £260.00
Cost of obtaining a CNI (Certificate of no Impediment to marriage) in UK, the cost is around £30.00
Cost of obtaining a local CNI (Legal Capacity for marriage) in the Philippines - cost will be around £25.00
Cost of round trip tickets for you and your loved one to travel from Provinces to attend CFO Seminar (Commission for Filipinos overseas) in Manila/Cebu including hotel. Cost around £150.00
Cost of CFO Seminar £2.00
Cost of new Passport for your loved one, approximately £35.00
Cost of Applying for duplicate birth certificates at NSO (National Statistics office) in Philippines is circa £25.00
Cost of Marriage License in locality of Marriage if in Philippines £35.00
Cost of Air Ticket for your loved one to Come to UK once visa is approved, from £650.00 to £1000.00
Cost of buying her a cell phone considering that she made need one to contact you regularly, £150-300.00 depending on model.
One time cost of buying warm clothes associated with her transit to a colder climate, new Boots, winter clothes, jackets, coats, umbrella, mittens, scarf, woollies, Electric blanket for the bed, she will freeze ! Money for her to bring a Rice cooker ! She has to cook rice ! Cost around £500.00
Cost of round trip ticket for possible 2nd visit to be available to British Embassy should your presence be required at interview for settlement (VAF2003) Cost including hotels, food, gifts, expenses, £2000-£3000.
She might want to throw a leaving party for all her friends, work colleagues, and family cost likely to be around £50.00 to £100.00



Ongoing expenses during a courtship with a Filipina on a monthly basis.

Provision of Sustento, possibly to maintain her in a apartment now that she is your fiancée monthly cost could be from £20.00 to £100.00 per month
Fiancée or spouse allowances anything from £50.00 to £500.00 depending on circumstances (This is a requirement if being interviewed at British Embassy, showing evidence of support.)
Phone cards during courtship period, visa processing, and other associated calls, cost per month to be around £100.00
Assistance with her going on more regular occasions to internet café’s £20.00 a month.
New clothes, hair visits, nails and general beauty treatments, can be taken from allowance monthly.
Cost of birth control when you are visiting the Philippines (don’t laugh) it’s a requirement, unless you want a little more evidence of relationship than you expected ! (come on guys, that was damn funny, lighten up a little ) Cost £5.00 per month.


Costs associated with New Filipina wife or Fiancée in UK.

Costs of increased telephone usage during first few months when she arrives in UK - calling cards, BT, NTL World, etc, bills increase rapidly cost around £100-£400.00 per month.
Costs of obtaining special foods for her like, trips to Manila Supermarket, trips to fish markets, etc, obtaining Asian foods, extra cost £100.00 per month.
Costs of her own special allowance if on Fiancée visa, (she cannot work) around
£??? To £???
Extra costs incurred if she wants to all of a sudden learn to drive ? Cost £100.00 to
£250.00 per month for lessons, extra insurances for your car, upping your no claims bonus premium from reasonable to extortionate.
Extra costs if she wants a new car ?? £???? To £?????
Costs of initial 2 months together, entertainment, showing her around, taking her to London, or Manchester or Sheffield, or Cardiff, or Birmingham, or Edinbrough or Glasgow, etc etc, in other words, its costs money to take her around, this will be almost like another dating period costs £??? Who knows ??


As you can see, its impossible to put down to paper all the costs involved in pursuing a Filipina, but I will say this, whatever you decide to do, think carefully, its only fair to her and fair to you, “Its not cheap to court a Filipina�, you are not going to get a woman of this quality on the cheap, so I hope this has helped, and even when you have spent all of this money, its not always guaranteed that you are going to get the woman of your dreams, you heard the phrase “You pays your money, you takes your chances� well this is certainly true, I hope this gives you some insight into what is involved, best of luck with what you decide to do, in my estimation its going to cost you around £10,000 to £15,000 to successfully court a Filipina over a period of from six months to 2 years, depending on various factors.

This cost of course can be spread over a long period, however the cost roughly will work out to be the same whichever way you do it, either you have the savings, or you earn it as you go along.

Ouch Ha ha ha that hurts !!!!!

[tim-gregory]

:( another cost if you bride to be is seperated is her annulment ranging £800-£1200 if her ex wont co-operate, I will keep you posted on that one as this is the siuatuion I find my self in. OH and you divorce, sorry lads fact of life.

[peterdavid]

:( another cost if you bride to be is seperated is her annulment ranging £800-£1200 if her ex wont co-operate, I will keep you posted on that one as this is the siuatuion I find my self in. OH and you divorce, sorry lads fact of life.

An annulment for only £800-£1200? I have heard of it happening, but I have heard far more stories of lawyers taking the 80,000 pesos and never actually securing a proper annulment and when the visa application is still made, lo and behold, the filipina is still married and is now a bigamist to boot. Sad fact but the philippine legal system is full of unscrupulous crooks. A foreigner walks into an attorney's office with his filipina, wanting to annul her previous marriage, and it's all the attorney can do to stop himself from drooling all over the floor in anticipation of the amount of money he thinks he'll be making. Even (some of) the lawyers listed on the British Embassy website will milk it for all they can if they think they can get away with it.

I have no idea how you can find a reputable lawyer in the philippines who, half way through the process, won't suddenly 'discover' a load of 'extra and unforeseen expenses' which you are compelled to pay to get the annulment - but a lot of lawyers saying they can get an annulment for £800 will just take the money and run. Beware also of any lawyer who asks for money upfront - if he wants that, don't use him. Professional lawyers the world over KNOW that in their profession, they do the work BEFORE payment is made.

I am a lawyer myself and know a little bit about the philippine legal system - if anything sounds suspect about what you're going through, feel free to trot it out on here. For example, if your lawyer is trying to charge you 5000 pesos for a simple registration which you can do your self for 20 pesos, that sort of thing. Can't promise I'll know much, but collectively, the people reading this may be able to spot a scam from an outside perspective and let you know.

[ginapeterb]

I think it would be interesting to hear about the costs involved in Legal Anulment cases, as undoubtedly there will be situations where an English guy falls for a Filipina who is married and vice versa, I think this happens quite alot, I would like to hear more about it, as it helps other guys who find themselves in this situation.

In my own case, most know that I had to divorce first and am still doing so, so it does happen, english guys who need to get a divorce will also want to know what they have to do, although we need a new section for that.

Lets keep this going

[tim-gregory]

I will keep you posted on my experiance cost procdure we take etc. I think at the moment because of some complications we are slowing down a bit. I am back over to the Phlippines on the 24th of this month so we will beable to discuss our plans in more detail but I will keep you posted.

[zanyme]

im new here...what happened to this thread? any updates please...thanks

[IainBusby]

Hi Zanyme,
It appears it just dried up a while ago. Why not start a new thread on this subject yourself, if its something that want to know more about.
Iain.

[ginapeterb]

The reason the thread dried up, as with all threads, is that, at that paticular time, there were not many takers, if you look, you can see I wrote the thread during November of 2004, being that it is 2 years ago, you can understand how it has now dried up, but as you say, if you want to start another one, please do so, the costs of getting married to a Filipina is always a cause for interest,

[mupsuit]

The reason the thread dried up, as with all threads, is that, at that paticular time, there were not many takers, if you look, you can see I wrote the thread during November of 2004, being that it is 2 years ago, you can understand how it has now dried up, but as you say, if you want to start another one, please do so, the costs of getting married to a Filipina is always a cause for interest,

I think this is one area where cost is not an issue

most folks will just pay what is needed to marry their girl and get her to the UK

that said, it is a good to make any folks aware that the total costs for a Filipina bride CIF UK airport is about £10,000 or FOB Manila about £ 9000 (you did give her some spending money for the trip !!! )

It is not an exercise for the faint hearted or the financially challenged

[IainBusby]

I think it would be interesting to hear about the costs involved in Legal Anulment cases.

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney. The original quote was for P120,000, P60,000up front and another P60,000 on completion. After the usual unexpected additional charges, this eventually became about P150,000 by the time it was all done.

But for the alternative process, annulment, we were quoted P125,000 + and an additional P5,000 to P10,000 per hearing and we were told that there could be many hearings. We were also told that it would take very much longer, especially as no one had heard from her ex for so long or knew where he was.

As for the total cost of our courtship, subsequent marriage and all the money I have sent for travel, to Manila and Cebu, documentation and all the other various expenses, I can't even begin to think about it, it's frightening to even contemplate the total cost. If someone had told me before it all began, that I would meet someone and I would spend so much money so that we could be together, I would have said they were crazy. But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

[mupsuit]

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney.

Iain.

Friend of mine did this - they now have four children so it does work - however on a recent visit back to her home city they attended a party and guess who was there !! her brothers had a quick word and there were no repercussions





But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

Great news - I going to start a new thread of suggestions on what you should buy to ensure her welcome -

The very best for your future happiness togther in the UK

[bobby_davro]

Hmmmm I only earn 30k a year... sweet jesus :NoNo: thast my plans out of the window

[robeth]

Hmmmm I only earn 30k a year... sweet jesus :NoNo: thast my plans out of the window


if u really love the woman, it requires a leap of faith and enough funds...:icon_lol: dont despair..sometimes its worth it...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[ginapeterb]

Hi Pete,
To free her from her previous marriage, my wife and I went for this "Presumtive Death" process which was recommended by her attorney. The original quote was for P120,000, P60,000up front and another P60,000 on completion. After the usual unexpected additional charges, this eventually became about P150,000 by the time it was all done.

But for the alternative process, annulment, we were quoted P125,000 + and an additional P5,000 to P10,000 per hearing and we were told that there could be many hearings. We were also told that it would take very much longer, especially as no one had heard from her ex for so long or knew where he was.

As for the total cost of our courtship, subsequent marriage and all the money I have sent for travel, to Manila and Cebu, documentation and all the other various expenses, I can't even begin to think about it, it's frightening to even contemplate the total cost. If someone had told me before it all began, that I would meet someone and I would spend so much money so that we could be together, I would have said they were crazy. But it really is worth every penny now that she's got her visa and she'll be here with me on the 28th of September.

Iain.

Ian

thats a nice story, congratulations, yes the cost can be very high, I know of one who spent £15,000 in the end of getting his girl over to UK, it took over 2 years, with one problem or another, i.e. anulment from previous marriage to a Filipino, then problems with paperwork, then a Filipino wedding, then continuous visits, flights, the usuals, yes the cost can be high, as you say, when they get here, it seems worth it, in my own case, probably somewhere around £15,000 as well, when you count all the trips I made, 8 in all, throughout a 2 year period.

Best wishes Ian.

[nora]

Hi Pete,

This is most interesting thing i read here. It seems like all UK bf/finacee are spending for their wives to be or even gf. My question is how come my fiancee of 1 year does not even give me money to pay for the phone bills nor internet money.I pay them myself. No spending money for me whatsoever. I never asked any money from him before. I know that other finacess didn't but they were still given spending money. I'm so confused. Any ideas???

[Pauldo]

Nora,
I think you are engaged to what is commonly known as a Cheap Charlie. :icon_lol:Don't expect things to change much when you get to the UK either :NoNo:

Or maybe you earn more than him so he sees no reason to send you anything, but you should start worrying when he starts asking YOU for money :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Pauldo

[KeithD]

Ask Paul for money, he's very generous :)

......he sent his mates round to see me once, completely free of charge :xxsport-smiley-002: :omg:

[fred]

Whoa!! Talk about inflation!! We paid about £300.00 for the lot including our wedding at Pasay city hall. Wedding rings were about PHP 800.00 from Sta cruz. (1986)
Actually,the stag night cost more than the rings.

[KeithD]

You ate a stag? :cwm24:

[fred]

You ate a stag? :cwm24:

I dont remember!:NEW1:

[nora]

Just my luck if I marry a Cheap Charlie. I thought men are suppose to provide for the family. How can I earn moe than my fiancee, he is earning pounds? No i dont think he will ask me money, although when he was here(3 times) we take turns is paying like meals, fare or the bar. What do you think guys of my fiancee help please?

[ginapeterb]

Nora, I read your comments with interest, so your BF does not give you a Baon, that is unusual, most Fiance's give the girl a monthly baon, some range from P10,000 a month to P50,000 a month, I used to give my Wife at least P25,000 every 2 weeks, that was for her mobile phone bill, her nails and hair to be done each week, I insisted that she have her hair done and relaxed every week, her footspa, nails, and back massages, her shopping trips to the mall, clothes, bags and shoes, all came out of her allowance, I did not want local people saying, " Oh she is with that British Guy and look at her " I wanted people to say " Oh she is with that British guy and she always looks good"

Normally, when the Filipino fiancee arrives in UK, she should really be thinking about the colour of her new car, so that when she arrives at least she has an idea of what she will drive, most guys will give you a baon, if the guy you are with is not doing that, as my mate pauldo says, he is a cheapy charlie !, and he will be like that all the way through your relationship, depending of course on how long it lasts, which by the sound of it, wont be very long, if he is with a Filipina, especially when you start crying for new clothes bags and shoes, in every Filipina their is an Imelda, what will he do when you want to go to the mall ?

[KeithD]

Money cause more problems in Western/Filipina relationships than any other subject, which is why I always tell folk to sort it out as soon as you get serious.

[andypaul]

Just my luck if I marry a Cheap Charlie. I thought men are suppose to provide for the family. How can I earn moe than my fiancee, he is earning pounds? No i dont think he will ask me money, although when he was here(3 times) we take turns is paying like meals, fare or the bar. What do you think guys of my fiancee help please?

Hi Nora

With out knowing fiancee and your situation i would just like to raise a few points, before we write your Fiancee off as a cheap charile. (Im not saying the others were wrong and im right just offering another viewpoint which you might like to consider.)

1. Does your Fiancee realise you feel this way, sometimes with a long distance relationship with differences in language and culture, sometimes some messages and either sides feelings on matters are not fully understood by the other. Some couples find it hard enough with a local partner let alone one who lives 8000 miles away and speaks a different mother tongue.

Dropping hints you need help with bills so you can chat together might help. At least he then might let you know if he wants to help you or for some reason would rather not.
A lot of the information on the Web both about uk/phill dating and internet dating in general and i guess the british Media would infulence a lot of British guys to avoid sending any money to someone they are chatting to.

2. He maybe embrass to offer your from what i read a decent Lady who can look after herself and he might feel that he could insult you if he "paid you to chat to him". We all know thats not the reason, but in the UK many people don't like to cause a scene and would rather not risk insulting someone.

3. He may not be certain how to send money at a decent rate if you had asked me about three years ago how to send money to phill, i would not have had a clue.


I sent My Wife money a little at first to help us chat together, but it was only after i had read on the web how it would be costing my Wife a lot of her daily income to chat to me compared to western standards, that i offered. My Wife never asked as she like you, did not want to look like she was a gold digger.

At first i would just send via western union a small amount now and then and sent her Globe load to help with texts, but once we were serious we set up a special bank account to save money on transfer. Then after a few vists i left her a Credit card, for just in case and for major purchases like when we/she needed to book hotels in manila when dealing with the Visa Application/ilets exam and for my stays.
Thats us and every couple are different my Wife didn't have a Job while arranging the Wedding, studying for her Illets and then applying for the Visa. So i sent her an allowance for her to live on and contribute to her familys houshold.

My Wife now she has a Job here in the UK loves to take us both out for dinner or pay her way contributing to household bills and most importantly send money back to both look after and treat her family:)

I hope all works out just great for you both:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

Im really a cheap Charlie..My mrs came to the U.K on Pakistan airlines for cryin out loud!!

[nora]

Your girl is so lucky to have a monthly allowance for her mobile, hair, nails, etc. I don't get any not even to pay for my internet (which is not really much) I'm just wondering how come he does not give me any while all the other girls are having this previlege. I really need some insights on this matter and even on other matters and I don't have any British/English friends so I dont know for sure how it works there or how your culture is regarding this matter. I do have other concerns too, I dont want to marry with so many questions in mind about my fiancee. Is it possible to ask for your email ad, so that I can tell you my other concerns too. I really need help here. Thank you.

[nora]

Thank you for your sensible views on my concern. To answer your question, no my fiancee does not realize that I feel this way. If I tell him, he might think I'm a gold digger (which I'm not) although he is not a rich guy.

I do have a job which supports me which might also be the reason why he does see the need to send me any money or it could be that he is financially tied which worries me when we get married eventually as to how he will support a family.

Ours is more than just chatting, we have been engaged for 1 year now. I think on how to send money abroad is not a problem as one can always ask any bank how to go about it.

He visited me 3 times already and it has always been the same. Sometimes I pay sometimes him. Sometimes I feel like I'm the man in the relationship in this sense. I really need some advise and insights on these matters. There are other matters too that I still want to ask but would not want to write here. If possible can I have your email ad so that I can write it to you there?I need your help. Thank you.

[fred]

Nora,he might just be saving like crazy to sort out things like accomodation,flights and other practicle things you may need to start your lives together..Life here isn`t always honey and roses and things can somtimes get tough.
Of course it might be that he earns a lot of money and is just a kuriput charlie.
We need more clues.

[robeth]

I need your help. Thank you.

men,guys,boys or whatever u call them are never mind readers...some are sensitive,some are not.its always nice to make urself clear and that they wont have the trouble guessing what's its all about, always in a nice way.

monies, like religion and politics are always sensitive matters to discuss but then still need discussing and be upfront about it.

if u two find it very difficult to agree on a certain matter,its time to change the way u think or change fiancee...

u dont have to agree with me tho...:D :Erm:

[andypaul]

Thank you for your sensible views on my concern. To answer your question, no my fiancee does not realize that I feel this way. If I tell him, he might think I'm a gold digger (which I'm not) although he is not a rich guy.

I do have a job which supports me which might also be the reason why he does see the need to send me any money or it could be that he is financially tied which worries me when we get married eventually as to how he will support a family.

Ours is more than just chatting, we have been engaged for 1 year now. I think on how to send money abroad is not a problem as one can always ask any bank how to go about it.

He visited me 3 times already and it has always been the same. Sometimes I pay sometimes him. Sometimes I feel like I'm the man in the relationship in this sense. I really need some advise and insights on these matters. There are other matters too that I still want to ask but would not want to write here. If possible can I have your email ad so that I can write it to you there?I need your help. Thank you.

I think you need to bring this topic up with him asap. If hes your Fiancee then you should share all with him. Im sure you will be tactifull. Im sure others can help suggest ways to bring up the matter.

If he has been to Phill three times then it must realise how your doing and the difference in UK and PHill income?

For most guys sending a few pounds/peso or if he would rather not send cash say globe or smart load so you can both text more would not be to hard. But of course i can't speak about an indivual.

He may have reasons he does not want to splash the cash, was he married or in a serious relationship previously? If he was he may have got burned and now very careful with the money he has. That or he is having to pay his ex wife/support kids etc. That or have money problems.

You need to know about the above both for any visa application and as his Wife how he will support you in the UK (if you so choose to move here)

What do you know about his background (im not saying write it here on the board of course) but list all you know about him for yourself. Where does he live, what sort of house, does he own, pay a mortage on it or rent? what previous relationships has he had, children/siblings or parents to support? Where does he work and in what sort of role?
What does he do in his spare time, hobbies and socially?

What are his future plans for himself and also for the two of you as a couple?

Most brits have so much more complex finacial dealings than the avegrage Phill normally have. My Wife couldn't belive the amount of outgoings we have here and the Tax!!!:bigcry:
So be prepared to be amazed with some of the figures mentioned he might have as outgoings.

Alot of brits don't like to talk about money its a subject many think of as rude to talk about sound crazy but true.

You are right sending money is not that hard once you know how, although i would not use a british bank to transfer the money as the comission rates would normally be much higher than more specialst companies.

You seem to have some nagging thoughts in your head and you need to clear these up first before you move on.

I have read and seen in real life plenty of couples where one partner has different ideas to the other on how the relationship is doing. Make sure you let your fiancee what you think is happening.

I hope all goes well

[fred]

Money cause more problems in Western/Filipina relationships than any other subject, which is why I always tell folk to sort it out as soon as you get serious.
__________________

I bet that is true.

When we tied the knot I was totally skint and so was she..
No pre-nups and nothing of value to argue about.
Everything we have now (or lack of) is 50% hers.
She`s very proud of that and so she should be!!

[KeithD]

NORA!!! You're missing a trick here :)

If you've been engaged for over a year, that means you've obviously known each other for a good while, he's been to the Phil 3X :cwm24: ........HE LOVES YOU!!

....and if you do not realise what that means in English culture it is simply this....

HE WILL DO WHATEVER YOU ASK OF HIM :D

You have the power of love.....you ask...he does....simple as that....Men are a pretty DUMB species when it comes to women :omg:

Just ask him to send you £50 a month to cover the calls and I bet you it'll be on its way within hours :cwm38: :cwm38: :cwm38:

[mike1]

tell him how you feel , he may have his reasons and they may be genuine, be open with each other- you know him long enough .My fiancee never asks for money I give her some now and again -not as much as id like to as im thinking of the future spending weeding etc, she is not a big spender and tells me if she needs it she will ask . good luck Nora

[nora]

Thank you all for all your advise :)

[nora]

thank you all for all your advise

[KeithD]

Echo!!!! :D

Can you Yodel, it'll sound great? :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[JennetteG]

Forgive my ignorance but is it really the norm of british guys to pay for the upkeep of their fiancee in the Philippines and is it something that Filipina girlfriends expect?

Although I know that life in the Philippines is a lot harder compared to UK, my parents have taught me not to be beholden to anyone as it may compromise our integrity and our sense of values...

I just feel a little bit alarmed that the expectations raised in this forum in terms of money matters somehow does not paint a good picture of what a Filipina is...

[KeithD]

Forgive my ignorance but is it really the norm of british guys to pay for the upkeep of their fiancee in the Philippines and is it something that Filipina girlfriends expect?


We know full well the value of money in the Phil, and the way the average person lives, so most guys just want to show there affection by improving there girls standard of living, as a sort of adjustment for coming to the UK (or Europe).

We always say that if the girl asks for money, she is probably the wrong one, but they do have to pay for internet and mobile communications to the UK, and we can't expect them to magically come up with that money.

It also shows the girls family that we trust them with our hard earned cash.

The one thing that causes most failure in relationships is money, and it's always best to sort it ASAP, between both parties.

[Tish]

It didn't even cost him £1000 to get me here...lol. Plus we only got married on the registrars' office few months after arriving, which cost him less than £1000 in total and that's everything including the wedding rings!!! (But his paying for it now though...BIG TIME :D)

Tish

[ginapeterb]

We know full well the value of money in the Phil, and the way the average person lives, so most guys just want to show there affection by improving there girls standard of living, as a sort of adjustment for coming to the UK (or Europe).

We always say that if the girl asks for money, she is probably the wrong one, but they do have to pay for internet and mobile communications to the UK, and we can't expect them to magically come up with that money.

It also shows the girls family that we trust them with our hard earned cash.

The one thing that causes most failure in relationships is money, and it's always best to sort it ASAP, between both parties.

Keith's post is an excellent example of the real truth of the matter, most british guys would want to show you their love and affections by providing some sort of modest allowance, this is to help their fiancee or GF with their living costs, Keith is of course right, in that if a girl asks for money, its not liked, but then if the guy profers an allowance of some sort, no matter how much the amount, this is better, of course we know internet and phone and other things cost money, so a little help in that direction is greatly appreciated by the Filipino GF or Fiancee.

As for sorting out money before she arrives, I think once again Keith is 100 per cent spot on, these matters have to be sorted out in the relationship first, as they can lead to severe problems later on, in any British-Filipino relationship, money arguments cause more problems than anything else, and it has to be sorted first, well done Keith, you said it all.

Pete

[ginapeterb]

It didn't even cost him £1000 to get me here...lol. Plus we only got married on the registrars' office few months after arriving, which cost him less than £1000 in total and that's everything including the wedding rings!!! (But his paying for it now though...BIG TIME :D)

Tish

Wow Tish, I know of a situation where one of my best friends had a massive Filipino wedding, and it cost him P1,000,000 for that and probably P 1,500,000 in getting her over here, and he is still paying for it big time, hahahahah, go for it girl !

[KeithD]

...... well done Keith, you said it all. Pete

:cwm24: Apologies to everyone, I'll make sure I never post anything intelligent again :rolleyes:

[ettennom]

was happy to see this site as i have many qstns in my mind and want to seek suggestions from people who have the same experince

have been in a relationship for 10 months in a guy from ireland...we used to chat and talk on the phone almost everyday may2006..it was ok, i learned his story as he is a lonely man now with businesses and now thinking what is his business for if he doesnt have someone in his life... to make the story short, we became bf/gfs.

it has been 10 months..what are differences now:
1. less communication----his reasons.... he doesnt much time now as he is busy with his businesses....and have new businesses to look up to

2. calls every 2 weeks---as before, he used to call 2 times a week..that was may and june 2006..his reason again is that he is busy with his work..but for me...if u r busy, u have time when u get home to at least make a 30 minute call to ur gf.

3. rarely communicates because for him, he knows that i love him dearly [admitted to me that he rarely calls bcoz he know i love him so much that i will understand him always]...is that right????? i really love him thats why i cannot stop myself texting him even if he is not replying... and when im mad, he'll make a call and tell that he loves me so much and that he's just busy....

am i on the right track??? i love him dearly but i want a constant communication with him..chatting is what we used to do before...but he is busy and he doesnt have time for it anymore.

hope to hear from you guys soon....:)

[fred]

http://filipinaroses.com/images/avatars/adove.gif (http://filipinaroses.com/member.php?u=1142) ettennom (http://filipinaroses.com/member.php?u=1142) !!


What do you think would happen if you didn`t return his messages for a week?
What would happen if you was out when he phoned you? Would he phone you again and again??
If you know the answer to that question then you are half way there..
The problem is that most women/men are afraid of the answer..

There is a saying here..."Whats good for the goose is good for the gander". There`s another too.."Treat em mean,keep em keen".

Dont tell him I told you that..It will spoil the effect!!

Up to you girl!!

[scotsfiancee]

am i on the right track??? i love him dearly but i want a constant communication with him..chatting is what we used to do before...but he is busy and he doesnt have time for it anymore.

No matter how busy he is, he still going to contact you everyday!
I wish u all the best to him, hope things works out better for both of you.....

[empott]

:Blacklistthatsucks:

It is better to be optimistic but then ...

[ettennom]

thanks for your comments.

one time i did that..i did not answer his call and he called again..then he sent me a text asking why i did not anwer his call.

i just hope i can do that to make him feel what i do feel when he ignores my msgs.

i want to accept his reasons for not replying to my texts..but for me, it just takes 3 minutes to type in and send a msg..right????

or if life there really different..and people are really busy in their work to mind sending a text.... thats what he told me..its not like the philippines where u have time for texting..he said uk, u work and work and work.

i try to understand him as i love him.. but i just miss him so much.

hope to get replies from u guys.

thanks

[joebloggs]

when you own a business, it can take all the time you have, just to try to keep it going, something like 9 out of 10 new businesses fail in the first year,

from phoning you 2 times a week, to once every 2 wks, is not a good sign, and hardly texting you, he had the time b4.

it can be very difficult for long distance relationships to work, look at how many break up when you both live local.

have you ever meet each other ?? if not he needs to come and see you, if he has when was the last time he saw you ?

I've been thru all this with my wife, we known each other like 7yrs, i use to go and see her every 6 months, but 6 months is along time, you get use to living your own life

you need to sort it out with him,tell him your worries, he really needs to come and see you, its not a good sign,

as for being optimistic,
i use to get called a pessimist alot
but i think iam a realistic

good luck lady :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[ettennom]

he has lots of businesses there. last may, all i know is his coffee shop.. altho he also have buy and sell of cars from japan. he travels a lot also, basically for his business. lately he opened 2 stores, one was last oct then the 2nd this month.

his reasons for texting me almost evryday last year is bacause its may-june time then, where his business is not that busy because of the weather/season in uk.

and lately, he rarely does that because of his newly opened shops and of summer season last july..he was busy until oct.

last nov, he went to pakistan. [by the way, he is muslim..i am catholic ] we were not in good terms then..we broke up because i hate him not having enough time for him. but we became a couple again december. he sent a message christmas time. i was wondering then why he did not come to phil, which is near pakistan..compared to him coming fr ireland to phil.

anyway, he told me he did not come here because at that time, he is having business talks with his friends and have plans of building a mall in that country. and he needs to go back to ireland because his staff are having vacation in china [for chinese new year]

we talked 2 weeks ago about his plans. he told me he wanted to see me soon. asked me if im ready to marry him. he asked how long does he need to stay here if we'll get married and stuff about it. coz he is also bringing his friends for the wedding....

its a long story... hope i did not bore you.

next topic: differences in our religion

hope to hear from you again

big thanks ;)

[ettennom]

by the way, how long before u went to see your wife? and how many times did u fly to the phil to see her before u got married?

where did u get married?

[KeithD]

I run my own business, and yet look at my post count :omg:

I need to get out more :xxgrinning--00xx3:

My advice. Plenty of nice single Irish men who will give you the time, and treat you with respect.

[timandjudith]

I have to agree with Keith, when i first met Judith i was a National Accounts Manager and i travelled all over the place and worked usually 60+ hours a week.
But always my priority was Judith i always texted her and phoned her, and i flew to see her 2 times in 2 months before i moved here.

If he really loves you he would have time for you!

My advice too if its worth anything find some one who has some real time for you!

[ettennom]

thanks for ur comments
i know he'll call tom

will inform u about our talk

thanks

[joebloggs]

hmm, i think you should get to know him first, i mean face to face, as everyone knows the majority of filipinos are catholics, and a large number of muslims in the south. my wifes brother has married a filipino muslim, but they are both filipino, while from your messages you say hes muslim from Pakistan? if so you would not only have a possibltiy of problems with different faiths, but different cultures.

the guy i work with, hes from libya and of course a muslim, the things he has told me in the past how women are treated there, their culture is dominated by men, with women are told what to do, and with arranged marriages, their culture and faith enforce this inequality.

lol, the time he told me " when i get home from work, my wife will wash my feet". arghhh :yikes:

anyway lady, you may have a problem of religion and culture.

wish you luck :xxgrinning--00xx3:
anything is possible, look at me and my wife :omg:
we gonna face problems soon, as our bb is 3 months old, she wants him to be baptised and a meat eater :yikes:
i want him to have no religion and be a veggy !! lol,. let the battle commence
:cwm3:

[ettennom]

i know about our differences in religion and culture. he knows about it and he is open about it. i just hope evrything will be like this as he promised when we r actually together..coz i read articles in the net, saying muslims will always be muslims.. but evrytime i talk to him, he is different. i just hope, really that it will be the same when i go with him.


or you'll get a post here about my muslims vs catholics...hehehe :)


he does not believe about arranged marriages.

he went to pakistan last nov, where his auntie asked him to marry her daughter. he refused the offer as he doesn't believe about it, and he told his auntie that he is meeting his future wife who is a filipina. her auntie wouldnt believe him so he showed her my pictures and the msgs i sent to him [texts] then his auntie said she is just excited to meet me soon.


he is 34 yrs old now, and had 1 gf only, which was when he's 18. his ex gf was muslim, his cousin and they broke up because the girl's parents doesn't like him because he was poor then. when he went to ireland at 19 yrs old, studied and worked, he had a small business. the girl wants him back. but he refused to have a relationship with her.

then after 15 yrs, he met me thru the net. he told me that was the 1st time he tried yahoo. that was the day we first chatted.

i just hope evrything will be ok. when we dont talk, i think of all the negative things, our differences...but once he calls me, and texts me, he always assures me that he really loves me and we'll be together soon so i'll understand what his life in ireland is.

thanks for ur info. hope to hear more stories from you guys ;)

[fred]

My mate whose catholic married a Muslim girl but he had to change his religion first in order to get married in a Malaysian ceremony..
Apparently he reckons he can divorce her by saying the word "talaq" just 3 times in front of a witness..
She can`t do the same thing to him however.
That`ll save a few quid on lawyers i suppose!

[andypaul]

Many people in the uk who maybe be a christain,muslim or hindu for example will not be as strong in there faith as people living in there home country pakistan or phill for example.

So he maybe just a muslim by birth, but do meet him to find this out.
I know many people who were either born here or grew up here in the UK who don't really practise their particular religion, but respect it for the sake of the family.

In what religons cermony will you get married or will it be a cvill wedding either in the uk or phill?
If you have children how will they be brought up?
Will he want you to convert?
Will he allow you to go to church either alone or with your kids when you have them if you wish to?

In the UK i know of mixed religous marriages and the ones that work the best seem to be when both are understanding of one anothers faith or beliefs. They have discussed the questions above and others in detail early on so both know what to expect.

Even many white brits when with phill girlfriends need to discuss these matters as many brits will be non catholic christains. So these issues could cause problems with the families etc in the future.

I would make sure you both have these questions clearly sorted out before going any further.

[KeithD]

If it's not an arranged marriage.....then who the hell arranges it? :Erm:

[ettennom]

thanks andypaul for all your comments.really appreciate them

we have plans of getting married here in a catholic church. he said it is ok to him and he allowed to do that, as for him, he said my and his god is just one, we all have the same one god.


about the children, he told me they can choose whatever religion they would want to have, as for me, i think while they are kids, they are supposed to be attending catholic mass, and as with my bf, he told me he attended catholic masses alrdy, as some of his friends are catholic also. he said how can he say no to someone asking him to pray.


but, im 100% sure, he will not convert. he said one time, we will never know, it might be me converting in his religion. so i think he has plans of making me believe his religion. but its ok. as long as there is no convertion.


we chat to today. i recognized one thing. he is bossy. as what many people say about muslims...maybe because he is a big man in ireland thats why..i dont know..but there are still some qstns in my mind...which will be answered when he comes here.


he told me he s preparing papers for me to go there before he comes here. he just asked about my whole name, date of birth and address. he doesn't want to tell me the whole story. he just said that the "solicitor" will come this week and he wil inform at the end of the week what happened.


hope u can give me more insights..both positive and negative about muslim-catholic relationships


thank u and hear from u soon ;)

[tiger@tigress]

I do believe that religion is not a question in relationship... as long as you meet halfway.. Is it true that Muslims can have other wife as long as he can?... that is scary cuz for me i dont want to share!:bigcry: :bigcry:

[ettennom]

maximum of 4 wives
but my bf doesn't believe in having more than 1 because he said those muslims are not respected.

thanks for ur positive outlook

im seeing some notions about muslims in him lately..like muslims being bossy...they tend to make their wives follow them.

reading stories in the net about catholic-muslim relationships makes it more harder.

its really hard. i dont want to think negatively about the relationship, but at the same time , i dont want to get hurt in the long run also.

hope to hear more comments about this topic

thanks ;)

[KeithD]

Two things:

Stop posting in BOLD PURPLE it's annoying....

....and get yourself a decent guy...this one sounds like an arrogant plonker (nothing to do with religeon)....and we haven't even met him.......Continuation = Miserable life. I promise ya :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

I think your local bishop or priest might have something to say about you marrying a Muslim or Protestant etc in a Catholic church..It depends on the individual church policy etc..
It might have to be a registry office ...Worth enquiring locally..
Perhaps a "donation" to the padre in question can help answer this question in a positive light??

[fred]

...they tend to make their wives follow them.

Before the war Muslim women had always to walk 5 steps behind her husband.
After the war however they were ordered to walk 5 steps in front.
Something or other to do with undiscovered land mines..

[KeithD]

:icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

hmmm my wife wanted a catholic church wedding, she told me i would have to be baptised ! . hmm me and churches dont mix, anyway, my faith in not having a religon was stronger than her faith in being a catholic :xxgrinning--00xx3: so we had a civil wedding, married by a judge :xxgrinning--00xx3: :xxgrinning--00xx3:

everyone was happy :REDancedancer08:
and now she wants our son to be brainwashed, oh i mean baptised :cwm3: :Help1:

[KeithD]

......so we had a civil wedding, married by a judge :xxgrinning--00xx3: :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Nice of the prison to allow you to marry eh? Caught with yer fingers in the till again? :D

[andypaul]

he told me he s preparing papers for me to go there before he comes here. he just asked about my whole name, date of birth and address. he doesn't want to tell me the whole story. he just said that the "solicitor" will come this week and he wil inform at the end of the week what happened.

hang on that sounds incredibley dodgy something does not sound quite right here.

just be real careful if he can travel to pakistan why can't he travel to phill?

If he can afford a solictor to "arrange it" its not due to lack of money thats for sure..

Its not easy to get a vistor visa for someone certainly not just with their name, dob and address.

What do others think am i getting the wrong end of the stick here?

[Ping]

Yes, Andy for it looks like he's a crook man.Maybe a member of some scumbag organization. What can I say is that don't trust him completely or if you know the saing that says "Trust no One" Do some detective works. Don't get carried away of his smooth talking and sweet talk.Mostly hustler is like that very convencing to attract a victims. For God's sake find a decent or a very reliable person not a muslim guy. You're not so desperate and you are still young.Don't be naive, don't let your heart govern your brain.Be wise and sensible girl.

[eljean]

ettenom... i found you also confused about your own man...your man is not an irish he is a pakistani it just happen he has a business in ireland as what you said
and you sounded like you are not even sure if you love him if he loves you everything between you are still plans and none of yet is happening. do you send letter on him through post or does he?they are complicated and i know much of there culture....but generally they always follow their religion not anybodys religion...if you two got married obviously you have to live in pakistan not in ireland or if he is already a citizen possibly...if you become his wife you have to wear their muslim attire and culture which i dont think you will ever gonna like it...based on how you tell your story i dont feel much good about it...not being judgemental....you have a very high hope for this man and a bit blinded by your feelings on him and how convinced you telling things about him but he doesnt seem doing much of what hes been saying...
you have to think of yourself your future you being with him all the possible conflicts between you religiously and by culture....its rare for a muslim not to marry the same kind....or if they do they will strongly want you to be one of them...and embrace their beliefs...so if you are ready about everything for this guy then and you believe in him then you are going to be together sometime be patient and we will wait for you to ask about applying for a settlement visa.....:D its seems everyone is giving a hearty advice on here for ya

[joebloggs]

Nice of the prison to allow you to marry eh? Caught with yer fingers in the till again? :D

yes, the prison allowed her out for the day :omg: but its the open prison on Palawan, where they dont need fences, guards or walls, its suppose to be better than some hotels ive been to, or maybe they were open prisons :Erm: , the prisoners dont want to leave.. :icon_lol:

yes the judge was a laugh, telling jokes, said she would rush, as she was hungry, :Rasp:

most of the guests were MAN UTD fans, don't recall anyone admitting to being a LIVERPOOL FAN :NoNo:

[joebloggs]

get him to come to you, thats what i did and most if not all did on here, they went to the philippines to meet their gal, they dont expect a gal to come on her own to a strange country, and it would be easier for him to come to you than you to get to him.

from your messages i can see your worried about going over there, if he respects you he will understand and see you, if he dont he's not worth it.

as for being muslim my wife told me, her cousin married a muslim, and he slowly put pressure on her, she changed her religion in the end, and married as a muslim..

iam not anti-muslim, just dont agree how they treat women :NoNo:

good luck lady with what ever you do :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[ettennom]

thanks for all your messages. really appreciate all of ur advices.

first of all, its a bit clearer now. all i need to do is to wait for him to come here..if he will, then all my qstns will be answered..and dont u worry, i will inform u what happens next..if i will be asking about papers i need to submit..or will post something about muslim against catholic ;)

one of the things that bothers me now is how to tell my mom about him being muslim.i know it will be hard to convince them because my whole family is catholic, and primarily, most filipinos hate muslims in general. and i know its wrong to start a relationship with a lie..so sooner or later, i must inform my mom about his religion..i just hope they will understand my situation.

JOEBLOGGS, why did u say u dont like how muslims treat women? do u know someone who had bitten his wife????? hope to hear from ur story. thanks

my bf lives in ireland since he was 18, and now he is 34 alrdy. he owns a house there, have it rented, and is paying for his new haus in dublin.

what do u think about him asking my whole name, dob and address? is it possibly not for the papers? and what is that "solicitor" thingy..is he a person who works for someone's papers? veven last yr, he was asking me to come with him. he knows someone who can "petition" [cannot think of the right term no..sorry]


hope u can make more comments.

thanks

[joebloggs]

hi, i work with 2 muslim libyans, they have british and libyan passports, as their mother is english. the older one is so arrogant, i have not spoken to him for more than a year, his brother is not as bad thou

well as i've said in past msgs, he told me when he gets home from work his wife will wash his feet, she will stay at home all day, cooking, cleaning, etc, basically not have a life or a bit of a life of her own, as what he says she does.

well he's been married a year now, and his wife has given birth, in libya they dont have girlfriends. its the arranged marriage over there,

his mother found a girl, that she liked, and her brothers meet him to check him out. her son and the girl meet each other 2 times for 1 hour each time in a tent in the desert (no iam not joking), after that he said, do you want to spend your life with me, and she must have said yes, maybe she wanted to, or pressure from her family made her, but just knowing someone for 2 hours is not a good start to a relationship, nevermind a marriage, so if anyone says how can you want to marry someone you have never meet face to face, then at least you have known him for many months. not 2 hours.(i've been there, crazy as it sounds, but at least i knew my wife for years b4 we wed).

he had to give her family, i think it was about £800, lol, and i thought slave trade was over, mind you there is a rise of eastern europeans women being tricked here and sold, then forced into prostitution by mostly gangs from new EEC countries.

i was sad to see his english mother, arrange this marriage, as i pitty the girl that she found to marry her son, and would she go along with this if it was her daughter?? at least her younger son is more of a decent person, and final twist, its being arranged that his younger brother will marry her sister, talk about keeping it in the family..

i have a step daughter and i don't understand how in this day and age that this is still accepted and continues, living in the 21st century not dark ages..
... :angry:

[andypaul]

thanks for all your messages. really appreciate all of ur advices.

first of all, its a bit clearer now. all i need to do is to wait for him to come here..if he will, then all my qstns will be answered..and dont u worry, i will inform u what happens next..if i will be asking about papers i need to submit..or will post something about muslim against catholic ;)

one of the things that bothers me now is how to tell my mom about him being muslim.i know it will be hard to convince them because my whole family is catholic, and primarily, most filipinos hate muslims in general. and i know its wrong to start a relationship with a lie..so sooner or later, i must inform my mom about his religion..i just hope they will understand my situation.

JOEBLOGGS, why did u say u dont like how muslims treat women? do u know someone who had bitten his wife????? hope to hear from ur story. thanks

my bf lives in ireland since he was 18, and now he is 34 alrdy. he owns a house there, have it rented, and is paying for his new haus in dublin.

what do u think about him asking my whole name, dob and address? is it possibly not for the papers? and what is that "solicitor" thingy..is he a person who works for someone's papers? veven last yr, he was asking me to come with him. he knows someone who can "petition" [cannot think of the right term no..sorry]


hope u can make more comments.

thanks



Im not to well up on Irish visa laws but im sure you can not get a visa for somebody with such basic details. I would have thought they are very simliar to uk and other european laws.

There is such thing as identiy fraud so do not give out to much information on the net or even to people you do not know too well once you have met them. Be careful please.

I may have got the wrong end of the stick and i will be the first to apoligize to you.

[ettennom]

thanks to all your replies...

hope to hear from you soon..like if u meet or know a relationship like mine.

hope to hear from soon

take care and

god bless

[chino]

damn its not as cheap as you think! thanks for the info

[RHB]

you all forgot the most important things to consider before choosing your lovely.
Especially if you intend to live in the Philippines.

Look at the teeth, dental work is expensive
make sure there are no incurable or infectious diseases, or chronic conditions
find out how many brothers and sisters they have, if you live near, you will be supporting them too.
If you live in country, live far enough so that the relatives don't move in with you, (they will) or come ask for money (they will)
cell phones are an infectious disease here, not an electronic device. They can and will do things that you can't imagine in the hands of a Filipina.

[love8888]

Your girl is so lucky to have a monthly allowance for her mobile, hair, nails, etc. I don't get any not even to pay for my internet (which is not really much) I'm just wondering how come he does not give me any while all the other girls are having this previlege. I really need some insights on this matter and even on other matters and I don't have any British/English friends so I dont know for sure how it works there or how your culture is regarding this matter. I do have other concerns too, I dont want to marry with so many questions in mind about my fiancee. Is it possible to ask for your email ad, so that I can tell you my other concerns too. I really need help here. Thank you.
Hi Nora,

I just read your post,Yes your quite right that some people here are so lucky to their husband or boy friend when they supporting/giving money to them maybe they earn highly income than any other here so they can offer or give money to support you... but for those who only earn a minimum or lower cannot offer any amount even they wanted to and even they love you... or maybe for some reason he might not want you to be too much expecting too much money from him.Leaving in the UK is so expensive. Every thing is always you have to pay insurance, taxes etc. etc.He might now starting saving for both of you and your future like visa application, wedding etc. Honestly it's not cheap it's so bloody expensive as it's gone up again. And sometimes british waiting for you to ask but you won't do that because he might think you only after his money.Why not you try to be honest to explain to him about what you feel I think he will understand you.And once you are here you will understand why there are so many british are kuripot.

If I were you you should not compare yourself to anybody as it cannot help to your relationship it might be get worst. I think you must be honest to him and tell everything... british guy is good in sorting problems, they rather told to them asap and they will sorted it soon.Nora not all british/filipino couple are successful in their marriage some faces emotional problems/money matter etc.The best recipe of love is constant talking,respect, trust,understanding,honestand faithful.


There is also some filipina paid back of what their husband gives or supported her whilst she was in the Phillipines and when she come here to UK she then started to pay back his husband something like that.

[ginapeterb]

Elsa ?? are you saying the British man is kuripot ? I can assure you I for one am not Kuripot and I have bank statements to prove it !!!

Miss Gina is LOL in the background here

[love8888]

Elsa ?? are you saying the British man is kuripot ? I can assure you I for one am not Kuripot and I have bank statements to prove it !!!

Miss Gina is LOL in the background here


Oh.... sorry Pete Yeah I know your not Kuripot infact your extravagant which make Gina so lucky than others.... but I am so lucky too with my honey he he he

[aromulus]

thanks for all your messages. really appreciate all of ur advices.

first of all, its a bit clearer now. all i need to do is to wait for him to come here..if he will, then all my qstns will be answered..and dont u worry, i will inform u what happens next..if i will be asking about papers i need to submit..or will post something about muslim against catholic ;)

one of the things that bothers me now is how to tell my mom about him being muslim.i know it will be hard to convince them because my whole family is catholic, and primarily, most filipinos hate muslims in general. and i know its wrong to start a relationship with a lie..so sooner or later, i must inform my mom about his religion..i just hope they will understand my situation.

JOEBLOGGS, why did u say u dont like how muslims treat women? do u know someone who had bitten his wife????? hope to hear from ur story. thanks

my bf lives in ireland since he was 18, and now he is 34 alrdy. he owns a house there, have it rented, and is paying for his new haus in dublin.

what do u think about him asking my whole name, dob and address? is it possibly not for the papers? and what is that "solicitor" thingy..is he a person who works for someone's papers? veven last yr, he was asking me to come with him. he knows someone who can "petition" [cannot think of the right term no..sorry]


hope u can make more comments.

thanks



Joe is right.

If you continue with this relationship, you will lose every single bit of freedom that you have had in the past.
Muslim wives are just there to serve the husbands.
No rights at all for them. You will hadly ever be able to express your own opinion on anything, because you will have no chance to... I could go on, and on, but I better stop.

"He knows someone that can petiton you".....
Sorry to be blunt, but I would suggest you drop him like a hot potato. Why can't he do it himself ???
Something is wrong here. Be very careful.

[andypaul]

you all forgot the most important things to consider before choosing your lovely.
Especially if you intend to live in the Philippines.

Look at the teeth, dental work is expensive
make sure there are no incurable or infectious diseases, or chronic conditions
find out how many brothers and sisters they have, if you live near, you will be supporting them too.
If you live in country, live far enough so that the relatives don't move in with you, (they will) or come ask for money (they will)
cell phones are an infectious disease here, not an electronic device. They can and will do things that you can't imagine in the hands of a Filipina.

Good practical advice there one lucky thing half the family seem to be either dentists or in the medical profession. So thankfully medical fees are kept to a minimum:xxgrinning--00xx3:

We have so many if i could workout a way i would when the new medical centres come up for tendership in the UK. Try and set up a dental and medical centre made up of the extended family here in the Uk now Joe bloggs can we work out a way of doing this?

Seeing as Brit based GPs and dentists don't like nights or weekends i would have it so they have to do rolling shifts and the staff canteen only provides dried fish with vinegar:Erm:

[joebloggs]

Look at the teeth, dental work is expensive



:icon_lol: :D :icon_lol:

you want to come to the uk, next time i goto the phils i'm getting a couple of teeth crowned, my misses tells me it will be made just as good as uk, but a lot cheaper, dentist wanted £250 for a gold coloured one (nhs), and £300+ for a white one EACH here.. :cwm24:

nealry the cost of a return plane ticket to the phils :doh

whats happening to the nhs :NoNo:

[aromulus]

:icon_lol: :D :icon_lol:

whats happening to the nhs :NoNo:


What NHS...........???:Erm:

[joebloggs]

What NHS...........???:Erm:

sorry your in wales you don't have to pay for prescriptions :Erm:

:icon_lol:

[KeithD]

What NHS...........???:Erm:

Because I couldn't get to see the physio 18 miles away the other week, she came to see me.....now that is service :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You only hear of the minority complaining via the media, the majority of happy customers is not news.

[Mrs.JMajor]

Because I couldn't get to see the physio 18 miles away the other week, she came to see me.....now that is service :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You only hear of the minority complaining via the media, the majority of happy customers is not news.

impressed me :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gazlou]

Never show to Filipina you're loaded, you will regret it.
Actually, it's cost more than everyone think, how about their family in Philippines, you have to help them too.

[fco31]

Hi Pete,

Did you have another website that discusses Fil-Brit courtship, visa application, etc? Anyway, I'm a new member and I have been reading the threads on the process of getting the marriage visa. Would like to know though if it's updated or if the process is still the same since the thread dates back to 2004? My bf and I are discussing about relocation so I'm "researching". Thanks for your help!

[KeithD]

Please don't ask the same questions in different parts of the forum. Read the rules.

[fco31]

Please don't ask the same questions in different parts of the forum. Read the rules.

I'm sorry... my bad. Wasn't sure if this post was posted. Having problems with internet connection. I thought I have the answer to my question already. :)

[firelady]

this is very very interesting read. though i am not in this situation. but i cant help thinking man, these girls are lucky having someone to foot their bills.

i think i am one of the very few female pinay's who have to pay for everything i have... but then again i dont have the "looks and built" that can propel a guy to give her monthly baon..

life is ruled by compansation hahahaha

congratulations ofr such an informative post

[asiansmiler]

AndyPaul, you are such a big help... Thanks, you are inspiring a lot of us here, and for you Nora, I have been in the same boat. But being totally honest with him, could set you free. You will have peace of mind and all... as soon as you both talk it out, and from there, take it....

[NotYou]

Is it only me that finds this so clinical?

The cost of shipping your prize back home. No mention of love and passion and hate.

Cost of visa, cost of engagement party, cost of buying off family, cost of presents, airfare, stamps, etc. The financial price you pay. What of emotional costs?

People please realise these are real lives, real people, real emotions.

Money counts for nothing. Yes I say this, even though I know we speak of economic migrants, so very desperate to leave the grinding poverty, the prize that has been drilled into the poor souls from birth, "find a foreign husband, leave this life of making do."

Please know that there is a trade off.

You speak of Minder, the Banana Splits, Swap Shop, Oasis, Thatcher, Egg and Chips, Tandoori, Lager, Taxes, Bus Fares, Cold Weather etc etc (I use capitalisarion deliberately).

She smiles and laughs where appropriately.

We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

[bornatbirth]

:icon_lol: are you telling us more about yourself?

[NotYou]

No and yes, young Mr bornatbirth,

I had none of the financial costs. Just tried to manage the silly, mis-informed girl I married. Her mother, educated, urbane. Still forced the stupid paradigm on my wife, her daughter, "marry a foreigner and escape".

But, yes. I make jokes and references to British culture even now (after many years of marriage). And we share none of it, culture that is. Becomes rather tiring I can tell you.

[Arthur Little]

:icon_lol: are you telling us more about yourself?

I for one, find myself unable to comment on the rest of what member 'Not You' is trying to convey here, but his penultimate sentence most certainly begs the question as to what ulterior motive lies behind a 20-year-old "falling in love" with a 60-year-old man. Since visiting the Phils twice last year, I've frequently wondered the same thing myself, having witnessed many instances of young Filipinas forming an attachment to guys who are more than likely to be considerably older than their fathers! And no,:NoNo:I'm NOT jealous, I just find it very sad!

[joebloggs]

Is it only me that finds this so clinical?


We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

:xxgrinning--00xx3: yes i think it's just you :rolleyes:

why not in 16yrs time, when you're 60 trade the misses in for a 20 year old, and then tell me why :icon_lol:

[NotYou]

You must be right joebloggs, it is "normal" for a 20 year old girl to be married to a 60 year old. Why, we see it all the time in British culture don't we? No, we do not. It is un-natural, and abnormal, but I suppose I does happen.:bigcry:

Try it myself? Have thought about that too. But why would some firm, exuberant young girl be interested in my saggy old, cantankerous self? Apart from the economic factor, of course. Also wonder what my kids (who will then be 22 and 29 years old) will think? Of course they will pat me on the back and say, "good on you Dad".

Perhaps not.

Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

[joebloggs]

what will I need to do to attract attention.

you could try a pair of socks down the front, and not the back of your shorts :doh or a 'bill gates is my bother' t-shirt :rolleyes:

but there is some truth in what you say, but then everyone's story is different.

i'm just hoping my misses gets a well paid full time job, and i get some money back b4 she finds a toyboy :doh

[Mrs.JMajor]

We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

We been discussing this issue long time here on the forum...i can sense your sentiment.... ... with your wife :cwm24:

[leahneilcheeka]

why not look around here in Britain... there are loads of filipinas who are here already... my fiancee just got me for £16.95, 3 hours worth of driving the car he likes and a chinese dinner...damn he is so proud of it!!!!

[Tawi2]

You must be right joebloggs, it is "normal" for a 20 year old girl to be married to a 60 year old. Why, we see it all the time in British culture don't we? No, we do not. It is un-natural, and abnormal, but I suppose I does happen.:bigcry:

Try it myself? Have thought about that too. But why would some firm, exuberant young girl be interested in my saggy old, cantankerous self? Apart from the economic factor, of course. Also wonder what my kids (who will then be 22 and 29 years old) will think? Of course they will pat me on the back and say, "good on you Dad".

Perhaps not.

Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

You sound like a mirror version of me :icon_lol:

[bornatbirth]

You sound like a mirror version of me :icon_lol:

that maybe the case but you have a sense of humour?

[Tawi2]

Not EXACTLY a mirror image Born,only the "Saggy,old,and cantankerous" :bigcry:

[NotYou]

Next time I visit Manila I will sit and dribble see if I remind them of anyone.

[trader dave]

yes the age thing is a little strange to those dribbling on the outside :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: i have seen it 1000's of time when i been wondering around the streets in the philippines why are those young chicks with them old d*icks :Rasp::Rasp::Erm: of course it the love of the dollor or the £ but we have to look into it a lot deeper than that thats not the only reason :NoNo::NoNo: but i am not even going to discuss that my daughter is only 2 years younger than my new wife :Rasp::Rasp::Rasp: and after 2 previous marriages and ASSUMING ALL women are after 50 % when you divorce :doh i am going to spend my last few years with a little darling looking after me:Rasp: ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT:action-smiley-081:

[future=dreams]

It's obvious that any pinay lady will want things to change for the better if she marries. Thats true of Cheryljane her mother was widowed and spent most of life watching her mother getting knocked from pillar to post so shes been a 2nd class citizen in a family she doesn't feel truly part of. So when i met her earning a living in a site I won't mention :cwm23: I saw a maganda pinay and told her talked to her like a person and gradually we became close.
Eventually got to the bottom of she was earning 5000 or 6000 pesos a month which i said I'd cover and buy her a ferry ticket from Manila to Dumaguete where she is now. I get her 8000 a month or so not a fortune but she doesn't want that she so pleased with small things that show her i care. That she learned piano on a scholarship but cannot play even the church she uses is too poor to afford one so i got one on ebay and had to call her at 2am as she wanted to know.
Anyway shes applied for a contract job in manila and will stay with a cousin so she does not need an allowance and i can get out there faster so its not all money for her and as for me maybe its nice making a difference. :BouncyHappy:

[lordfortesque]

Have you ever thought about what the likely cost would be, if you wanted to court a Filipina with a view to an eventual marriage, few actually count the cost, if you haven’t thought about it, maybe its time you did, because in many cases, you will need to treat this like a project, why do I say this, well for one thing, the cost of courting a Filipina and taking it to eventual marriage, can have an adverse effect on your wallet, so do you have deep pockets, hmm you might need them.

I don’t want to scare anyone, that is not my intention, because in truth, even if you don’t have lots of savings, you can actually take this process stage by stage, and if you are that keen to marry a Filipina, you can save up for each stage as it comes, however, this can also go to lengthen the process for many, however the Immigration process can be quite expensive so, I have posted a timeline with actual real time expenses to show readers what is involved.

Before you jump in with both feet, my suggestion is simple, you should sit down and do some calculations and see where you are, see if you have the necessary funds and or income to go through with this type of project.

I will list first the one time expenses, these are expenses that you will probably only spend money on once, but are a necessary step.

Your one time visit to the Philippines to meet your loved one, this is a requirement that you must have met your intended, this is the minimum requirement for a VAF2 2003 Fiancée visa. This cost includes Round trip air tickets to Manila/Cebu, accommodation, food, trips, etc £2000-£3000.00
A Return trip should you choose to marry in the Philippines, this could include Round Trip air tickets, Accommodation, Food, Honeymoon, Wedding costs, etc the cost for this one off expense is around £3000.00 - £4000.00
Passport photos needed along the way. £10.00
Passport photos required for you in various forms needed by authorities in Philippines around £15.00
Cost of submitting An Application on VAFW 2003 for either a fiancée visa or a spouse visa is £260.00
Cost of obtaining a CNI (Certificate of no Impediment to marriage) in UK, the cost is around £30.00
Cost of obtaining a local CNI (Legal Capacity for marriage) in the Philippines - cost will be around £25.00
Cost of round trip tickets for you and your loved one to travel from Provinces to attend CFO Seminar (Commission for Filipinos overseas) in Manila/Cebu including hotel. Cost around £150.00
Cost of CFO Seminar £2.00
Cost of new Passport for your loved one, approximately £35.00
Cost of Applying for duplicate birth certificates at NSO (National Statistics office) in Philippines is circa £25.00
Cost of Marriage License in locality of Marriage if in Philippines £35.00
Cost of Air Ticket for your loved one to Come to UK once visa is approved, from £650.00 to £1000.00
Cost of buying her a cell phone considering that she made need one to contact you regularly, £150-300.00 depending on model.
One time cost of buying warm clothes associated with her transit to a colder climate, new Boots, winter clothes, jackets, coats, umbrella, mittens, scarf, woollies, Electric blanket for the bed, she will freeze ! Money for her to bring a Rice cooker ! She has to cook rice ! Cost around £500.00
Cost of round trip ticket for possible 2nd visit to be available to British Embassy should your presence be required at interview for settlement (VAF2003) Cost including hotels, food, gifts, expenses, £2000-£3000.
She might want to throw a leaving party for all her friends, work colleagues, and family cost likely to be around £50.00 to £100.00



Ongoing expenses during a courtship with a Filipina on a monthly basis.

Provision of Sustento, possibly to maintain her in a apartment now that she is your fiancée monthly cost could be from £20.00 to £100.00 per month
Fiancée or spouse allowances anything from £50.00 to £500.00 depending on circumstances (This is a requirement if being interviewed at British Embassy, showing evidence of support.)
Phone cards during courtship period, visa processing, and other associated calls, cost per month to be around £100.00
Assistance with her going on more regular occasions to internet café’s £20.00 a month.
New clothes, hair visits, nails and general beauty treatments, can be taken from allowance monthly.
Cost of birth control when you are visiting the Philippines (don’t laugh) it’s a requirement, unless you want a little more evidence of relationship than you expected ! (come on guys, that was damn funny, lighten up a little ) Cost £5.00 per month.


Costs associated with New Filipina wife or Fiancée in UK.

Costs of increased telephone usage during first few months when she arrives in UK - calling cards, BT, NTL World, etc, bills increase rapidly cost around £100-£400.00 per month.
Costs of obtaining special foods for her like, trips to Manila Supermarket, trips to fish markets, etc, obtaining Asian foods, extra cost £100.00 per month.
Costs of her own special allowance if on Fiancée visa, (she cannot work) around
£??? To £???
Extra costs incurred if she wants to all of a sudden learn to drive ? Cost £100.00 to
£250.00 per month for lessons, extra insurances for your car, upping your no claims bonus premium from reasonable to extortionate.
Extra costs if she wants a new car ?? £???? To £?????
Costs of initial 2 months together, entertainment, showing her around, taking her to London, or Manchester or Sheffield, or Cardiff, or Birmingham, or Edinbrough or Glasgow, etc etc, in other words, its costs money to take her around, this will be almost like another dating period costs £??? Who knows ??


As you can see, its impossible to put down to paper all the costs involved in pursuing a Filipina, but I will say this, whatever you decide to do, think carefully, its only fair to her and fair to you, “Its not cheap to court a Filipina�, you are not going to get a woman of this quality on the cheap, so I hope this has helped, and even when you have spent all of this money, its not always guaranteed that you are going to get the woman of your dreams, you heard the phrase “You pays your money, you takes your chances� well this is certainly true, I hope this gives you some insight into what is involved, best of luck with what you decide to do, in my estimation its going to cost you around £10,000 to £15,000 to successfully court a Filipina over a period of from six months to 2 years, depending on various factors.

This cost of course can be spread over a long period, however the cost roughly will work out to be the same whichever way you do it, either you have the savings, or you earn it as you go along.

Ouch Ha ha ha that hurts !!!!!
ouch, ouch, are you trying to put me off"""""

[Jay&Zobel]

ouch, ouch, are you trying to put me off"""""

Reality hurts... :furious3::angry::angry:lol... (take note the year when GinaPete posted this thread...) lol :omg::omg:might be more expensive by now:D:D:D:D:D:omg::omg::omg:

[Tawi2]

True love is priceless,you cant value it,someone who will stick with you through hell and high water,ride lifes roller coaster alongside you?Who can put monetary value on that?Its only money,beside a real 100% genuine partner it means absolutely nothing,you can always earn more :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Mrs.JMajor]

True love is priceless,you cant value it,someone who will stick with you through hell and high water,ride lifes roller coaster alongside you?Who can put monetary value on that?Its only money,beside a real 100% genuine partner it means absolutely nothing,you can always earn more :xxgrinning--00xx3:

So are you ready to get married now, and interested in Filipina? But make sure the ot.. didnt shrank ha:Erm:

[Tawi2]

We all have crosses to bear in this life Mrs M,that just happens to be mine sadly :bigcry::ARsurrender:

[hobbit2009]

Hey Nora,ima newbie here to but if you have any doubts you should drop him. Bit harsh but sounds like he's hiding something an that could be bad if you came over here. Imnew to all this myself and i have a girlfriend with 2 kids in Cebu, weve been chatting/dating for quite awhile now but i realised very quickly how hard it is financially for people over there. My gf works but she gets short changed every week an even though im not rich i always managed to send her some each month, even few english pounds can go a long way over there. So he would know all that by now. Anyway thats my personal opinion for what its worth.

[aryM]

this is very very interesting read. though i am not in this situation. but i cant help thinking man, these girls are lucky having someone to foot their bills.

i think i am one of the very few female pinay's who have to pay for everything i have... but then again i dont have the "looks and built" that can propel a guy to give her monthly baon..

life is ruled by compansation hahahaha

congratulations ofr such an informative post

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:xxgrinning--00xx3: They are lucky isnt it ?:)

[NtoN]

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Hello aryM, first of all, big thanks for listing me on the visa waitlist. Count me in in this "argument". Like you & Firelady, i'm also one of the few pinays who pays for my needs. Ive been living independently for many years now meaning I am responsible for everything in my life (house rent, cellphone bills & everything). But the sweet thing is, my boyfriend provided me with a laptop & an internet connection which I didnt ask. It was his surprise gift:cwm12:

[eagles]

Hello aryM, first of all, big thanks for listing me on the visa waitlist. Count me in in this "argument". Like you & Firelady, i'm also one of the few pinays who pays for my needs. Ive been living independently for many years now meaning I am responsible for everything in my life (house rent, cellphone bills & everything). But the sweet thing is, my boyfriend provided me with a laptop & an internet connection which I didnt ask. It was his surprise gift lucky ladies

[bystander09]

:doh
Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

When you are 60, and if you crave for the attention of 20 year olds, then head of to Angeles City... there will be a bar girl waiting for a sugar daddy just like you.

If you have honourable intent, then accept that no 20 year old self respecting Pinay will be interested in marrying a gravity ravaged 60 year old.

Find someone in your age group that you can head off into the sunset with in your motor home.. :BouncyHappy:

bystander

[KeithD]

Methinks someone is still stuck in the 1930's!!!

It must be a hard life when wifey is doing the housework, and the poor man has to go out risking his life to hunt down extinct Mammoths :rolleyes:

[Margarita]

Hi Nora,

i believe that you and your fiancee must have a serious discussion of what is on your mind while there are still chances to sort them out....Tell him what and how you feel of the situation as he may not aware....Open up everything to him as you have been engaged for a year now, right? so i believe you can only settle all the questions in your mind if you tell him all of them.....

Good luck Nora and wish both of you the best... and opps, PRAYING HARD helps alot.....leave everything to God's hand while you are also doing your part....and you will see, He will guide you to your steps.....and decisions in life.....

Good luck and see you around....God bless you too....

[Seer]

Well this is the second thread I read here, the 1st after joining, love is for the rich only it seems.. We will have barcoded souls next...

[grahamw48]

Long distance love certainly needs a bit in the bank to bring to fruition, that is true.

Sort of 'feathering one's nest ? :)

Better than the taxpayer funding the results of all the home-grown easy come easy go failures. :NoNo:

[Seer]

Hmm I was actually pondering that angle whilst making a coffee after posting that. Was thinking there are costs involved with UK dating and marriage, I guess maybe we just don't think about it let alone produce an itemised bill when its a homegrown romance.

[Walaytawo]

It's sometimes worth being penniless to see if the girl will stick with you. I have a pal who a few years back was pretty much living in a hut with his girl. He's now raking in $1 million a year, and they're still together :xxgrinning--00xx3: She obviously get spoilt rotten now, but she clearly deserves it.

[sars_notd_virus]

Costs of courtship/Marriage to a filipina ?

the lists is endless but its worth it once you found a true person and true love...marriage? what is his is yours and yours is his..so nevermind the buzzcocks;):xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

It's sometimes worth being penniless to see if the girl will stick with you. I have a pal who a few years back was pretty much living in a hut with his girl. He's now raking in $1 million a year, and they're still together :xxgrinning--00xx3: She obviously get spoilt rotten now, but she clearly deserves it.

I've been searching for a girl and a hut like that for ages. :Erm:

[Tawi2]

Totally unrealistic :NoNo: The costings are like a monthly payment when buying a woman from a catalogue :NoNo: does anyone in the real world actually tot-up their expenditures when they truly love a woman rather than shopping for a trophy wife or a piece of meat?:NoNo:

[grahamw48]

Only wish I had. :icon_lol:

[Tawi2]

see if you have the necessary funds and or income to go through with this type of project.
Project?:NoNo::rolleyes: This is written about marrying a woman,not decking out a garden or renovating a boat :doh:NoNo:

[grahamw48]

Project?:NoNo::rolleyes: This is written about marrying a woman,not decking out a garden or renovating a boat :doh:NoNo:

lol!

Does seem an odd approach to it.....even to a miserable old cynic like me.:icon_lol:

Having said that, I've just found myself going all soppy over a particularly nice young lady from Bacoor. :heartshape1:

Here we go again. :Jump:

[Tawi2]

Yeah,I am also a miserable old cynic :icon_lol: but to be honest the OP sounds like he is trying to work out the monthly repayments for a catalogue mail-order bride,very romantic :rolleyes: I wonder how such people met life partners before the internet phenomenon made it convenient to have a selection of women at the click of a mouse :rolleyes:

[grahamw48]

Yes, I agree. :)

I had to wait a month for each letter, and no internet or mobiles then of course. :cwm3:

No wonder I didn't want to come back home after my first trip to the Phils. ;)

[grahamw48]

As long as you're not in the way of a religious nut's bomb, or born into the poverty of a Roman Catholic country. :rolleyes:

[Southern Leyte]

There is no cost to true love and if you are counting £££'s then I suggest your better off going to a supermarket:laugher::laugher::laugher::laugher::laugher:

[Tawi2]

There is no cost to true love and if you are counting £££'s
Amen,the OP sounds like a livestock auctioneer giving meat-on-the-hoof prices at a farmyard auction :rolleyes::NoNo:

[stevewool]

cant take it with you, rather be happy and in love and a little skint

[wrigglybum]

Hmmm there is no cost to court filipina:cwm3:... but ofcourse you better get the right one that wasnt looking for financial lift and security:D. you'll know whenever a woman start asking for things and money for just a few days or week , it means you better find another:icon_lol:

my husband didnt spend anything on me the whole time we're courting, thou' sometimes he cant help him self but send me money thru western union he wont take it back even thou i said i dont need it. it ends up whatever money he sent me i put them aside then we spent it on bills for hotel and visa extention for him staying longer in PH whenever he visited me. sometimes i do ask him to pay it back :laugher: which never happens :laugher:
All in all he only spent money on flights for getting his bum in manila to see me. and our wedding and visa application :D

[Moy]

Typical Filipinos are very conservative people. Parents will not allow their daughters to go out on a date without chaperons. If a man wants to date a woman, he should asked the parents' permission. He should tell them where they will go, and what time they will be home and most often they will have chaperons. Most parents do not allow their daughters to go to secluded places with a man to avoid temptations and the appearance of evil as what they said. When the woman dis obeyed her parents, she will be grounded. Parents preferred that the man will visit and meet their daughters at home rather than anywhere else. Before the man or the woman get into relationship, their parents should know whom they were getting involved to. Their family and friends would help to observe the person then they will give their approval. Most relationships that were not approved by family and friends will not last long. Members of the family and the friends are influential people in Filipino courtship and even marriage. It is customary for Filipinos to have concerned with their family and friends' lives and whereabouts because they are the ones who would offer help when problem comes. Filipinos really care about each other in any circumstance.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

Very true. :)

If only we still had the same standards in this country. :rolleyes:

[Moy]

Very true. :)

If only we still had the same standards in this country. :rolleyes:

hmmm maybe a hundred years from now :yikes::xxaction-smiley-047:icon_lol:

[grahamw48]

I mean of decency....not the roads. :icon_lol:

[Moy]

:icon_lol:aws i see:Wave::D

[Filipinamom]

This is one of the sad truths in the Philippine. A lot of corruption going on. Just have to be careful in dealing with any legal processes. :yikes:

[Filipinamom]

This is one of the sad truths in the Philippines. A lot of corruption going on. Just have to be careful in dealing with any legal processes. :yikes:

[Filipinamom]

Moy, you hit it bull's eye! Everything u said are true. :doh:doh

[worthingmale]

one day I hope to find out :D

[stevewool]

true cost of happiness, well its worth every penny in my view:)

[dan&pam]

Typical Filipinos are very conservative people.

Based on Philippine Culture, Filipinas are very conservative. If we go back in time to 50 years ago, when you held a womans hand, you will end up marrying her as a result. That is how conservative Filipinos are, that even a single touch like that is a very big deal.

in comparison to our time, we are in a generation which is aware of liberty.
Filipinas are now liberated.


Parents will not allow their daughters to go out on a date without chaperons.

i think nowaday girls wont ask permission from thier parents because they are afraid they wont be allowed to go out CHAPERONS do not exist anymore, now its called Group Dates.


Most relationships that were not approved by family and friends will not last long.

They mostly last longer "love against all odds"

...Filipinas nowadays already adopt the culture of other countries. This must be the result of our colonial mentality although there are a few who still act like Maria Clara.

[Tawi2]

Filipinas are now liberated.

Thats the truth,Maria Clara is nowadays resigned to the pages of noli me tangere(yes,i have read it) I wonder if anyone here has actually went through a genuine old-fashioned courtship ritual?Pinays are super-liberated,the old demure,subservient,perfect woman doesnt exist anymore,or if she does its on some undeveloped island and she has no exposure to the outside world.

[abracadabra]

Hi there i just read your post & looking at it seems a little daunting to say the least lol but all i want ( if its that simple) is to go to philly next July to marry my partner there,i have known her almost 1 year now although we have never met in person,she has never married,has 2 children 8 & 11 by the same father whom is deceased. I think that by marrying her perhaps conceiving a child whilst there maybe may increase the chances of her living here with me or am i going about it the wrong way it just seems so complex and i dont know what to do.I dont expect you to be Marjorie Proops on the matter lol but am wondering if you could shed a bit more light on the matter it would be much appreciated thanks.Yours faithfully Tom Sheffield

[grahamw48]

You're considering fathering a child in the Philippines in order to possibly facilitate getting a spouse visa...with someone you haven't even met yet ? :Erm:

I think you need to think this through...(putting it politely).