my dad died last tuesday

[allyn]

i got a call from my mom last tuesday saying that my dad died..
(theres already a big whole in his lungs and his diabetes make it worse)
it hurt me more that anything in this world...

just a couple of weeks ago my dad is complaining about that not able to breath properly and my sister have to borrow nebulizer from neighbor,,,i told my mom ill buy him nebulizer so he can have it anytime he need it...but that same day that im goin to send that stuff is desame day i got a call from my mom about my dad..

the moment i heard it i was so shock that i fell down from where im standing and just started crying,,,my manager saw me broke down so she took the phone and talk to my mom,,,she just gave me back the phone when i was able to talk...but im still crying,,,
i wanted to run to the nearest airport and just fly back to the philippines but reality hit me...
i cant,,,we just paid our monthly expenses and i have not much enough savings in my account to get a very expensive flight (because its Easter holiday, flights is so expensive)
i gave my hubby a call when i got home and my hubby went back to our home as soon as he can,,,he hug me and kiss me when he saw me crying in the sofa...he said he is goin to do something to get me a flight but i know to do so he have to get a loan somewhere else, wich is not a good option, because i dont want him to get into debt ,,,and if he get it, both of us will suffer for it when i get back....so i told him not to get any loan
i told my mom my situation and she said my dad will understand us,,,and they understand me...
but even tho deep inside i feel like i should have done some thing more...
coz last month i didnt accept partime housekeeping job at week end in the hotel to get some rest...i have work 7 months without week end off just to save up money to get my mom here for a vacation,,,so i though ill take a rest for a month in my week end partme job...and so i did,,,but this horrible news came about my dad,,and it cought me unguarded,,,i wish i didnt take that whole month, week end job off...
all i did is cry the whole day,,,but i tried to put on my brave face and go to work the next day because i dont want to stay in our flat and just cry,,,
All the staff in the office was so supportive and so is the nurses,,they offer a mass for my dad and tried to comfort me...
i got a friend from here who i was able to call to and talk to ,,,she gave me an advice and she also tried to comfort me ...
i didnt get much any emotional support from my inlaw...it does hurt me,,,but i just tried to ignore them,,,
my husband is been very supportive to me,,,he always hug me and tried to take care of me in this dark moment...

even tho im so desperate to see my dad for the last time,,,i cant...i wish its that easy,,,,,i just wish...

sorry for long story,,,:ARsurrender:
just sharing my thoughts

[Eljohno]

You have nothing to feel guilty about as you have tried your best...

Your husband will be a great support to you as long as you let him.

[Sophie]

i got a call from my mom last tuesday saying that my dad died..
(theres already a big whole in his lungs and his diabetes make it worse)
it hurt me more that anything in this world...

just a couple of weeks ago my dad is complaining about that not able to breath properly and my sister have to borrow nebulizer from neighbor,,,i told my mom ill buy him nebulizer so he can have it anytime he need it...but that same day that im goin to send that stuff is desame day i got a call from my mom about my dad..

the moment i heard it i was so shock that i fell down from where im standing and just started crying,,,my manager saw me broke down so she took the phone and talk to my mom,,,she just gave me back the phone when i was able to talk...but im still crying,,,
i wanted to run to the nearest airport and just fly back to the philippines but reality hit me...
i cant,,,we just paid our monthly expenses and i have not much enough savings in my account to get a very expensive flight (because its Easter holiday, flights is so expensive)
i gave my hubby a call when i got home and my hubby went back to our home as soon as he can,,,he hug me and kiss me when he saw me crying in the sofa...he said he is goin to do something to get me a flight but i know to do so he have to get a loan somewhere else, wich is not a good option, because i dont want him to get into debt ,,,and if he get it, both of us will suffer for it when i get back....so i told him not to get any loan
i told my mom my situation and she said my dad will understand us,,,and they understand me...
but even tho deep inside i feel like i should have done some thing more...
coz last month i didnt accept partime housekeeping job at week end in the hotel to get some rest...i have work 7 months without week end off just to save up money to get my mom here for a vacation,,,so i though ill take a rest for a month in my week end partme job...and so i did,,,but this horrible news came about my dad,,and it cought me unguarded,,,i wish i didnt take that whole month, week end job off...
all i did is cry the whole day,,,but i tried to put on my brave face and go to work the next day because i dont want to stay in our flat and just cry,,,
All the staff in the office was so supportive and so is the nurses,,they offer a mass for my dad and tried to comfort me...
i got a friend from here who i was able to call to and talk to ,,,she gave me an advice and she also tried to comfort me ...
i didnt get much any emotional support from my inlaw...it does hurt me,,,but i just tried to ignore them,,,
my husband is been very supportive to me,,,he always hug me and tried to take care of me in this dark moment...

even tho im so desperate to see my dad for the last time,,,i cant...i wish its that easy,,,,,i just wish...

sorry for long story,,,:ARsurrender:
just sharing my thoughts

My condolences to you allyn and i'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my dad too long time ago and it was devastating. So i know how terrible the pain you must be feeling right now and what's more devastating is not being able to go home to say goodbye and to see him for the last time. I hope things will work out for you though and hopefully you can still be able to go home, to make it to your dad's funeral.

[irobot]

Irobot..." Sunny... Different From The Rest..."

Hi allyn, My condolences for your sad loss.... I do hope everything works out for you... Phil...

[empott]

My deepest condolences to you and your family, Allyn. May you have the strength and comfort that you need in this trying time. My prayers are with you.

[charlwill]

My deepest sympathy goes with you Allyn and to your family back home. I know how sad to depart to our love ones. I really hurts. Anyways, my prayer will be with you. God bless.

[georyz]

Condolence to you allyn.
i know how you feel as my wife had gone the same thing. when she arrive here after a month her dad passed away. they were chatting the day before it happened and on that day she woke up with a phone call informing her about the sad news. all she can do is cry so i have to be strong for her and comfort her. she asked her brother in philippines to have the wake in their house then she can see him so they set up the pc and have the cam on.

Just be strong. Life is really meant to end but nobody knows when. Just think he rest in peace and no more pain.

[LEAHnew]

I can't avoid to be emotional Sis I feel for you:bigcry:, my prayers and condolence for you and your whole family.

Leah(a.k.a kukurokuk)

[quickwillow]

My heart goes out to you Allayn, please don't feel guilty I'm sure you father would understand you if your not there

May god's gentle love
Heal your sorrow
May our prayers ease your pain
May you have a brighter tomorrow

Take care

[Piamed]

Dear Allyn

I'm genuinely sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you feel. I'm happy you getting a lot of support from your hubby and pray for His divine comfort to shower you and your family.

[tiger@tigress]

My condolences

[pennybarry]

My condolence and prayers for your family Allyn.
My advise for you is get a cheaper flight. There's cheap flights offered by KLM. It cost 447£ for a period of 1 month. (Edinburgh/Glasgow/NewC- Manila). PIK-UK is offering 460£ Return.
I think if you will make a loan of 700£, it may not be a big burden to you. At least you can pay last respect to your dad and see the whole family.
I know how you have been supported your ill dad before, and this is the last thing you can do for him. But the choice is yours Allyn.
Be strong! miss you

[acs]

My condolences to you Allyn, may God ease your pain as well as the pain your family back home in the philippines must be feeling right now too.

[kimmi]

My deepest sympathy with u Allyn and ur whole family..I am sorry for u loss..

My thoughts and prayers are with u..

[Tiggers0608]

Sorry to hear that and condolence to you and your family

[misscarie]

Deepest Sympathy te allyn ur dad and ur family will understand your situation.
Be strong and all our prayers are with you.

Simon & Elena

[DianaKevy]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family allyn.Be strong always. we are here for you.

[Arthur Little]

Sincerest condolences, Allyn. May you and your family be greatly comforted by the prayers of others.

[mavid]

Our Deepest Condolence Allyn.

[allyn]

My condolence and prayers for your family Allyn.
My advise for you is get a cheaper flight. There's cheap flights offered by KLM. It cost 447£ for a period of 1 month. (Edinburgh/Glasgow/NewC- Manila). PIK-UK is offering 460£ Return.
I think if you will make a loan of 700£, it may not be a big burden to you. At least you can pay last respect to your dad and see the whole family.
I know how you have been supported your ill dad before, and this is the last thing you can do for him. But the choice is yours Allyn.
Be strong! miss you

thanks penny for the message...
we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure:Erm:,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
so complicated,,,:bigcry:

[allyn]

Thank you every one for all your message and Prayer

[joebloggs]

like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..:cwm24:

[tiN]

I am really sorry for ur loss Allyn, and accept my my deepest condolences..

My prayers will be with u and ur family, just be strong..

tiN and Paul

[Ann07]

Hi Beauty:)

Im glad that you post it here. Sharing is the best way to get on with everything beauty and im so grateful you phoned me that day. I know how you feel just be strong and i believe you are.Our prayers and condolonce are with you and your family.

Keep me posted Beauty im always here u know that:)

xxx
Ann

[allyn]

like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..:cwm24:

thank you for the message,,,
we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
so complicated,,,

[allyn]

Hi Beauty:)

Im glad that you post it here. Sharing is the best way to get on with everything beauty and im so grateful you phoned me that day. I know how you feel just be strong and i believe you are.Our prayers and condolonce are with you and your family.

Keep me posted Beauty im always here u know that:)

xxx
Ann

thanks Tin for the message and the prayers

and also thanks anne!!!! #
for the emotional support and for talking to me on that day...
and most of all for understanding my situation
thank you

[Mrs.JMajor]

Do u know that you let my tears come out with your post :bigcry: sorry cant help it,babaw luha ko eh, sorry to hear your loss,my condolence to u and to your family,as what TOm said,good and bad happens in daily life

and kaya mo yan,im so glad your hubby was there with you ,we can always rely to them (husband)

[pennybarry]

thanks penny for the message...
we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure:Erm:,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
so complicated,,,:bigcry:

OK, I hope everything will be fine and good.
I feel what you feel and I hate thinking so much, :doh that's why I advised you to fly.

[aposhark]

Hi allyn,

So sorry to read your bad news.
It is never easy to lose someone in our family, and we can feel so helpless when we are thousands of miles away in another country.

Try not to beat yourself up too much, you are trying your best in life.

[Florge]

My condolences to you... I almost lost my Dad last year... God was too good to us that he gave him another chance at life. I'll pray for you and your family.

[Sim11UK]

Sorry to hear your sad news, it's good that you posted it here.
You know everyone here cares. :)

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Allyn,
I was teary eyed while reading your post.

May God give him eternal rest & may his soul rest in peace!
Accept my condolences and be strong & patient.

[Ana_may365]

my deepest condolence allyn:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:,its called'TRIALS'so be strong sis.

[ANDRES25]

My condolences to you and your family... You're lucky to have a very loving and supportive husband. Take care of your self... That's really a hard situation you're in but I know the pain will soon go away in due time. Be strong girl! This is so sad...Whenever I hear someone dies, it always make me cry even though he or she is not my relative....

[Mrs Daddy]

oh! am so so sorry to hear the bad news allyn.I was kinda emotional after reading your thread.lossing someone we love is the saddest thing that could ever happen to each and everyone of us.I dont know what am gonna do ever that happens to me ( knock on wood) I would die myself.I mean just to think about it,it scares me.But hopefully time will heal your pain away.I wish you quick recovery and dont worry God will always be there for you to comfort you.Once again my deepest symphaty my friend.

[Alan]

So, so sorry to hear your news. He is now at eternal peace and watching you! Try to be strong!

Al.:)

[Jay&Zobel]

like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..:cwm24:



Dear Allyn,

I pray you & your family will be comforted at this very time...

With regards to flying back home, Joebloggs & other members here are right.

I lost my dad last year July08. He had a colon cancer and other medical complications. He died on a Thursday and my husband bought me flight return tickets on the same day (using lastminute.com). Flew to Philippines on a Friday. I was so hesitant to going back home as flights were too expensive, end up paying £900+. He was buried on a Sunday. I spent 2 weeks there with my mom & my family. I never regreted I went home.

I pray you will be enlightened. But prayers are still the answer...

Take care.

[pennybarry]

Dear Allyn,

I pray you & your family will be comforted at this very time...

With regards to flying back home, Joebloggs & other members here are right.

I lost my dad last year July08. He had a colon cancer and other medical complications. He died on a Thursday and my husband bought me flight return tickets on the same day (using lastminute.com). Flew to Philippines on a Friday. I was so hesitant to going back home as flights were too expensive, end up paying £900+. He was buried on a Sunday. I spent 2 weeks there with my mom & my family. I never regreted I went home.

I pray you will be enlightened. But prayers are still the answer...

Take care.

You're right JandZ, That was also happened when I lost my Dad:bigcry:
That was the only time that our family reunited. That was the only time we've seen each other together as my other sis and 2 brods were all working abroad and I was sure my Dad was happy we are complete.

I just pray it will not happen again and always praying that my in-laws and hubby are always there for me. Financially, morally and spritually:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ann07]

When my brother died last february i want to jump into the plane but reality hits me I cannot. For so many reasons. But I never regret it for i know for sure my brother will understand me and my family. I always dreamt about him with a huge smile in his face when he was still a baby until he was grown up. And that assures me he is happy where he is now.

Allyn has her own reasons by doing so and your family understands that and so as your dad.

Be strong dear:) You are always in my prayer and your family.

[Jay&Zobel]

Dear Allyn,

I pray you & your family will be comforted at this very time...

With regards to flying back home, Joebloggs & other members here are right.

I lost my dad last year July08. He had a colon cancer and other medical complications. He died on a Thursday and my husband bought me flight return tickets on the same day (using lastminute.com). Flew to Philippines on a Friday. I was so hesitant to going back home as flights were too expensive, end up paying £900+. He was buried on a Sunday. I spent 2 weeks there with my mom & my family. I never regreted I went home.

I pray you will be enlightened. But prayers are still the answer...

Take care.


You're right JandZ, That was also happened when I lost my Dad:bigcry:
That was the only time that our family reunited. That was the only time we've seen each other together as my other sis and 2 brods were all working abroad and I was sure my Dad was happy we are complete.

I just pray it will not happen again and always praying that my in-laws and hubby are always there for me. Financially, morally and spritually:xxgrinning--00xx3:


When my brother died last february i want to jump into the plane but reality hits me I cannot. For so many reasons. But I never regret it for i know for sure my brother will understand me and my family. I always dreamt about him with a huge smile in his face when he was still a baby until he was grown up. And that assures me he is happy where he is now.

Allyn has her own reasons by doing so and your family understands that and so as your dad.

Be strong dear:) You are always in my prayer and your family.




Allyn no matter what decision that you will make, I am sure that your family will support & understand you.
_____

On a lighter side hehe... on my way back to UK - a woman in uniform approached me asking me if I was alone or what -
I said, "Yes I am." :cwm24:
"May I see your boarding pass please?" she asked.
I nervously asked her again (thinking, oh no:omg:.. might be my dried mangoes in my bag or something " I am sorry why?" :cwm24:
"Your seat is now upgraded ma'am..." she smiled.
"And why?" :Erm: I asked again lol instead of saying thank you hahaha...
"It is a Courtesy Upgrade..."

So yeah...my trip was upgraded from Economy to Business Class (Cathay) whooop! :D:D:D lol, it was like a once-in-a-lifetime-out-of-the-blue-OPPRTUNITY!!! WHOOHOOO!!! Had the chance to use real cutleries, glass cups and very spacious legroom :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:...

eeery but hey, hehe was that "his" way of saying thanks for coming to my funeral hehe... :rolleyes:

[Ann07]

Allyn no matter what decision that you will make, I am sure that your family will support & understand you.
_____

On a lighter side hehe... on my way back to UK - a woman in uniform approached me asking me if I was alone or what -
I said, "Yes I am." :cwm24:
"May I see your boarding pass please?" she asked.
I nervously asked her again (thinking, oh no:omg:.. might be my dried mangoes in my bag or something " I am sorry why?" :cwm24:
"Your seat is now upgraded ma'am..." she smiled.
"And why?" :Erm: I asked again lol instead of saying thank you hahaha...
"It is a Courtesy Upgrade..."

So yeah...my trip was upgraded from Economy to Business Class (Cathay) whooop! :D:D:D lol, it was like a once-in-a-lifetime-out-of-the-blue-OPPRTUNITY!!! WHOOHOOO!!! Had the chance to use real cutleries, glass cups and very spacious legroom :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:...

eeery but hey, hehe was that "his" way of saying thanks for coming to my funeral hehe... :rolleyes:

]

Lucky u ZObel:D:D:D:D

[pennybarry]

Allyn no matter what decision that you will make, I am sure that your family will support & understand you.



FAMILY always understands, :xxgrinning--00xx3:I will not understand myself why I can't able to fly. :doh As I hate thinking too much, hate regrets, and we have strong family ties.

It's also depends upon my conscience and theirs. So I do understand whatever Allyn's decision. I tried to PM her and will offer help sana as she is a friend. But she didn't reply.

I understand those people too.

[kimmi]

So I do understand whatever Allyn's decision. I tried to PM her and will offer help sana as she is a friend. But she didn't reply.

I understand those people too.

have u tried reaching her by any other means, Ate Penny??i.e. ym, phone, her mobile?:Erm:

[PAT]

Condolence to you and rest of your family allyn,it's really hard but be strong.

[islander]

hi jack!

i have sent you txt msgs when I knew about it but i didn't get any reply, think you've changed cellphone no. now.

I'm also glad that you post it here, think the sympathies that the forumers shared with you helped a little in easing your burden/ pains for the loss of your dad.

again, I'm extending my deepest condolences to you & your family!

[pennybarry]

have u tried reaching her by any other means, Ate Penny??i.e. ym, phone, her mobile?:Erm:

Hi Kimm, I PM her in her Yahoo, she pop up and seen her online. Then I started conversation to her. On my 3rd attempt typing another message, she was gone and I didn't send the other message.

I feel she needs privacy and silence. I understand why she can't make babad to forum as she is in her grieving. Hope to hear from her soon and be enlightened.

[allyn]

i would like to thank EVERY ONE for your message of sympathy and prayer....:)