I need some advice please - serious situation

[worriedanna]

hello everybody

I am new - I came on here because I need some advice - my brothers friend met a filipino woman (age 35) through his work - it started off as just talking but he soon fell in love with her.

Since then, this woman has told me stories about how she has a very big family but they don't care for her parents - she needed money to purchase medication for a very ill mother - the man provided her with 1000 pounds - however she did not send this directly to her parents - she sent it via a sister because she said her parents would spend the money on other things. So far he has given about 2500 pounds for medication. he feels flattered because she has told this man he has saved her mother.

also, she says that she is living with family members here in the UK and they take all her money from her and just send her to work for money that she has to give up when she gets home. She will not let this man be introduced to her family. The man is completely smitten and has gotten engaged to this woman and begged her if he can meet her family and have an open relationship - she refuses although she accepted the ring. He is now on the verge of putting her name on his business. He has asked can he meet her family in the Philippines but she has refused also. She takes days off to meet him but he must reimburse her with money so she can pretend she was at work.

For me and my friends that know this man, it seems that this relatioinship is based on money - this man has provided thousands of pounds already and has yet to meet any one of her family, or even has yet to be brought to her house.

Is this the normal way that these relationships go or should we be worried for our friend.

apologies if this causes offences to anybody, but we are seriously worried about this man. We do not want to see him hurt or fooled. The woman is 35 years old.

[bornatbirth]

what relation are you to the guy and why are you so worried about him?

until we know the full story how can anyone comment!

but based on what you posted i would never give money to anyone until im in a serious relationship,does he have the cash spare?

it would be easy to say they have a ill mother just to get money but there are many poor there and maybe for real?

when my wifes family knew of me i they wanted to meet me to see that im not messing with her! i got to meet all of them and everything about them infact i was welcomed into the family so easily :)

[aromulus]

Scam........!

[Florge]

my two cents worth...

Filipinos value most what their family thinks/opinion about the man/woman they would want to marry... when I met my bf, the first thing I wanted to do was introduce him to my family and friends... as for this woman, I feel that she's hiding something that's why she wouldn't want to introduce the guy to the family... the guy ought to insist to be introduced... I smell something fishy here...

[Ji&Ma]

my two cents worth...

Filipinos value most what their family thinks/opinion about the man/woman they would want to marry... when I met my bf, the first thing I wanted to do was introduce him to my family and friends... as for this woman, I feel that she's hiding something that's why she wouldn't want to introduce the guy to the family... the guy ought to insist to be introduced... I smell something fishy here...
Fully agree with this:iagree::gp: That was the first thing my fiancée wanted to do when I arrived to Manila - to see her bro and sis as her parents are living in province. We have been visiting them later anyway...

[Sophie]

I find this arrangement a bit strange :Erm: I suggest that the guy should stand his ground and get to the bottom of the truth and not just go along with her "in the dark". Obviously he spends a great deal of money for her, so he has to call the shots. It's about time she come clean with why she's trying so hard to keep him at a distance and not introduce him to her family and not even letting him know where she lives here in uk. Something's not right and until he get to the bottom of it, he will always end up not knowing and probably loosing all his money for her. I know he is so inlove with this girl, but sometimes you also have to use your head :)

[worriedanna]

thank you for your replies. You have confirmed what we have thought.

for the first poster - this man is a childhood friend of my brothers - we have known him all his life - he is extremely nice but has come out of a long term relationship and has been on his own for five years.

I thought it strange that he was not allowed to meet members of the family in the UK - or in the Philippines - but yet any and all monies are taken as in an engagement ring. I do know that filipinos are very family orientated so this is why I thought it strange that this man cannot have any contact with the family of this woman - supposedly she is living with siblings and inlaws with some nieces and nephews - could it be that they are her own children I wonder?

again no offence intended but please, if it was your friend, Im sure you would not like to see him scammed.

[aromulus]

thank you for your replies. You have confirmed what we have thought.

for the first poster - this man is a childhood friend of my brothers - we have known him all his life - he is extremely nice but has come out of a long term relationship and has been on his own for five years.

I thought it strange that he was not allowed to meet members of the family in the UK - or in the Philippines - but yet any and all monies are taken as in an engagement ring. I do know that filipinos are very family orientated so this is why I thought it strange that this man cannot have any contact with the family of this woman - supposedly she is living with siblings and inlaws with some nieces and nephews - could it be that they are her own children I wonder?

again no offence intended but please, if it was your friend, Im sure you would not like to see him scammed.

He is being, turned over, fleeced, scammed. etc....:doh

Tell him to desist from believing any of the claptrap that comes out of her mouth, and keep his wallet shut tight as in superglued....:rolleyes:

You have stated the reasons yourself why it stinks....:Erm:

[worriedanna]

thank you again.
we are going to let him know, at the risk of losing a friendship, which we know will happen. One more question - is it normal for her to have a completely normal conversation with women, but turn into a shy timid afraid person when he is around, and also to change her voice to a very childish one - this is something else that bothers us. But yet he seems to want to protect her more when this happens - the woman is 35. Is this normal.

[Sophie]

I do know that filipinos are very family orientated so this is why I thought it strange that this man cannot have any contact with the family of this woman - supposedly she is living with siblings and inlaws with some nieces and nephews - could it be that they are her own children I wonder?

again no offence intended but please, if it was your friend, Im sure you would not like to see him scammed.

EXACTLY :) No good friend can afford to see their friend get hurt and get ripped off. But you can only do so much, in the end, its all up to him to decide into turning his situation around and demand a more honest and upfront relationship with his girl. And yes, filipinos are very family oriented, close-knit and has very strong family values. So the fact that she doesn't get him close enough nor even introduce him to her family poses a big question mark :Erm:

[aromulus]

thank you again.
we are going to let him know, at the risk of losing a friendship, which we know will happen. One more question - is it normal for her to have a completely normal conversation with women, but turn into a shy timid afraid person when he is around, and also to change her voice to a very childish one - this is something else that bothers us. But yet he seems to want to protect her more when this happens - the woman is 35. Is this normal.

Before he gets all his money syphoned off, tell him to join this site and we will all put him right.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

He can ask any questions he likes, and he will get the proper answers.:rolleyes:
Better safe than sorry.....:NoNo:

It won't cost him anything to try us.:D

[leahneilcheeka]

SCAM!!!!!!!!:cwm23:

[Jay&Zobel]

Scam to the nth level!!!!

[worriedanna]

thank you so much guys. I feel so much better after your replies - you have confirmed what I have been thinking - I just needed the re-assurance - sometimes I second guessed myself and thought I may have been just looking at it with a cynical mind, so thank you for your opinions and your replies to my query. I will keep you posted as to what happens.

again, if I have caused any offence to anyone on these postings I apologise - it was an honest query and not meant to offend anyone.

[Jay&Zobel]

thank you so much guys. I feel so much better after your replies - you have confirmed what I have been thinking - I just needed the re-assurance - sometimes I second guessed myself and thought I may have been just looking at it with a cynical mind, so thank you for your opinions and your replies to my query. I will keep you posted as to what happens.

again, if I have caused any offence to anyone on these postings I apologise - it was an honest query and not meant to offend anyone.

Good luck Danna! You are a good friend indeed! Worry not I think no one got offended here (unless they are scammers themselves)...:Erm:

[kimmi]

thank you so much guys. I feel so much better after your replies - you have confirmed what I have been thinking - I just needed the re-assurance - sometimes I second guessed myself and thought I may have been just looking at it with a cynical mind, so thank you for your opinions and your replies to my query. I will keep you posted as to what happens.

again, if I have caused any offence to anyone on these postings I apologise - it was an honest query and not meant to offend anyone.

Goodluck Anna..like Zobel has said ur a good friend, and thats why we are here in the forum as well to help each other..:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ji&Ma]

Good luck Danna! You are a good friend indeed! Worry not I think no one got offended here (unless they are scammers themselves)...:Erm:
No need to be sorry or to apologise. I don't think anybody in here is offended and you are just worried about your friends wellbeing which is totally understandable:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

thank you so much guys. I feel so much better after your replies - you have confirmed what I have been thinking - I just needed the re-assurance - sometimes I second guessed myself and thought I may have been just looking at it with a cynical mind, so thank you for your opinions and your replies to my query. I will keep you posted as to what happens.

again, if I have caused any offence to anyone on these postings I apologise - it was an honest query and not meant to offend anyone.


Try to talk to him and give him advises but don't expect he will take your advise:D. It happened to me and British friend. I gave hime all the advises that I think good for him but to no avail.

Until one day, He realised he have spent already 20,000£ and almost nothing left to him. He's asking a help now after realising he wants to separate with his GF but he wants some expensive stuffs to return him back. I don't think I can still help. Just leave them alone:yikes:

[trader dave]

as others have said he is being scammed :NoNo::NoNo:

[worriedanna]

thanks guys

just another question - I spoke to my friend last night regarding the replies on this forum. We figure that if we tell this man our suspicions he will turn against us and not listen to us - he is very deeply involved and is quite blinded at the moment.

Do you think if we spoke to this woman directly and told her that we knew what she was trying to do and to back off - -that we will not see this man hurt - do you think she would back off? I really have no idea on how to proceed with this - is it usual that if the woman knows that somebody has caught on to what she is doing that she would back off, return any monies and leave?

any, and I mean any advice would be more than welcome - thank you

[Ji&Ma]

thanks guys

just another question - I spoke to my friend last night regarding the replies on this forum. We figure that if we tell this man our suspicions he will turn against us and not listen to us - he is very deeply involved and is quite blinded at the moment.

Do you think if we spoke to this woman directly and told her that we knew what she was trying to do and to back off - -that we will not see this man hurt - do you think she would back off? I really have no idea on how to proceed with this - is it usual that if the woman knows that somebody has caught on to what she is doing that she would back off, return any monies and leave?

any, and I mean any advice would be more than welcome - thank you
:Erm:I think you've found yourselves in pretty complicated situation, I would say it is nearly lose-lose situation:rolleyes:. If that man in question is blindfolded with love to her - he just wouldn't listen to your advice and might turn away from you - as you mentioned above, and you will lose your long time friend.
If you make his GF aware that you know she's scamming him, or not telling him the whole truth, she might just tell him what you said to her and you will find yourself in the same situation and on top of everything he might take it as that you've been dishonest with him for some reason, thinking that you are jealous somehow, envious or hold a grudge against him or something like that, just because you didn't tell him personally and spoke to his GF instead...
I would suggest to wait and try to "dose" the truth to him gently or try to point him to this forum?:Erm:

[worriedanna]

thank you again Ji & Ma
we talked about that and we decided that we would risk the friendship in favour of him not losing any more to her - once he could see things in clearer colours we think he might come back as a friend although it could take a couple of years - we are willing to forego the friendship to save him at this point.

[KeithD]

Call her bluff.

Tell her you have a number of friends all over the Philippines now, and they will call in on the parents house to see how the ill one is doing! Insist on it. Don't give up. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ji&Ma]

thank you again Ji & Ma
we talked about that and we decided that we would risk the friendship in favour of him not losing any more to her - once he could see things in clearer colours we think he might come back as a friend although it could take a couple of years - we are willing to forego the friendship to save him at this point.
I guess that would be the best - to speak directly to him and tell him what's on your mind and your opinion about his GF behaviour even though it will result in breaking your friendship. But as you said - I think it won't be for long and one day he will come back:xxgrinning--00xx3: Good luck in your quest and - keep us posted please, very interesting...

[Sophie]

thanks guys

Do you think if we spoke to this woman directly and told her that we knew what she was trying to do and to back off - -that we will not see this man hurt - do you think she would back off? I really have no idea on how to proceed with this - is it usual that if the woman knows that somebody has caught on to what she is doing that she would back off, return any monies and leave?

I don't think that is such a good idea anna. That would be disrespectful to your friend and somewhat going beyond the boundaries of your friendship and i feel doing that will be way off based. I'm sure your friend will be so offended once he find out that you went directly to his girl behind his back and said those things to her. If you do that, the girl will just get the guy's sympathy even more and you will just push your friend farther away and straight into this girl's arms. You don't deal with the girl, she's not your friend. You deal with the guy coz he is your friend. And talk to him in a very polite way and do not make him feel he is being attacked. Do not be pushy, just make him understand that as his friend, you are just concerned about him and his welfare and that you need to speak up and open his eyes. If he gets mad, that's up to him, as long as you know you did your best to wake him up. Tell him you would rather risk the friendship now if it meant sparing him from further pain and damage in the end. If he take your advice, well and good, if he does not, then its out of your hands. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

[Jay&Zobel]

Call her bluff.

Tell her you have a number of friends all over the Philippines now, and they will call in on the parents house to see how the ill one is doing! Insist on it. Don't give up. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

We are your friends, hehe (but no longer in the PI) lol..

Yes, do not give up. I so understand where you're coming from my friend, it is indeed tough.

But when a man is besotted he is deaf... :angry::angry::NoNo:

[KeithD]

But when a man is besotted he is deaf... :angry::angry::NoNo:
Eh? What? :Erm:

[Jay&Zobel]

But when a man is besotted he is deaf... :angry::angry::NoNo:


Eh? What? :Erm:


That you are a MAN!!! LOL :D:Bouncy::laugher: HAHAHA

[bornatbirth]

But when a man is besotted he is deaf... :angry::angry::NoNo:

you need it louder? :Erm:

[Jay&Zobel]

But when a man is besotted he is deaf... :angry::angry::NoNo:


Eh? What? :Erm:


you need it louder? :Erm:


See WorreidDana! Told you so... hahaha:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: These 2 men here are the perfect examples!!! :Erm::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[worriedanna]

thanks guys
LOL that's so funny - I needed that laugh. What you are saying makes a lot of sense - it's him we deal with and not her. Thank you once again - you really are an insightful bunch.

[aromulus]

See WorreidDana! Told you so... hahaha:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: These 2 men here are the perfect examples!!! :Erm::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:



Babay..............:D

:Hellooo::Hellooo:

[Jay&Zobel]

Babay..............:D

:Hellooo::Hellooo:


I am blind... lol :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[bornatbirth]

before you gang up on him,try and just get him to see the truth for himself...like a book on filipino family culture,so that as hes already seeing her she would want him to meet the her family already!.

also say that he as a friend in the phils who will check on her family and try and help out?

and next time tell him to send the money direct from is credit card as hes got no cash?

just a few ideas to consider?

[KeithD]

These 2 men here are the perfect examples!!!
Yes, Ben wants some imperfect samples!

[Eljohno]

Why not suggest to your friend that if he stops giving money to this lady this might be a good test to see if she changes when she knows that the money tree has no roots left...

[worriedanna]

thats what we plan to do first eljohn and see what happens. Although trying to see him is like pulling teeth. He used to be always around but little by little he has faded away and basically just organises his life around her now, when she says she he can see her. she tends to get a bit hyper if he meets his female friends - he commented once that a friend of mine looked pretty and he told us afterwards that she went crazy - (this was before our suspicions of her).

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hi dana,didnt manage to read all the replies ,I just read your first post (but at least i am on topic lol)...I know how worried you are.. but its your friend should be worry to his self,can u imagine he will put all his business on the name that he never even meet the family of the lady he is dying for...

[worriedanna]

thanks mrsjmajor

yes I know how worried he SHOULD be - unfortunately he is too "blind" at the moment to see anything - he has an excuse for everything that happens - very stupid excuses, but to him they sound reasonable. It is unbelievable - he is a very intelligent man usually.

[worriedanna]

by the way guys, this "relationship" is less than six months old

[Tawi2]

When she takes a day off work to be with him he pays her for her time?Theres a word for "Ladies" like that :icon_lol: The guy doesnt sound so hot on the social side of things :Erm:

[Mrs.JMajor]

and we call it stupid love and bulag na pag ibig (love is blind) :bigcry::CompBuster:

[aromulus]

When she takes a day off work to be with him he pays her for her time?Theres a word for "Ladies" like that :icon_lol: :Erm:


Bar fines in the Uk....????:Erm:

[Tawi2]

Theres a few Pinay GRO's right here in the UK who charge £1200 a NIGHT :omg: to keep some lonesome guy company :Erm:

[Jay&Zobel]

Theres a few Pinay GRO's right here in the UK who charge £1200 a NIGHT :omg: to keep some lonesome guy company :Erm:

How'd you know ? lol:omg::omg::D:icon_lol::icon_lol::omg::omg:

[Tawi2]

Because I always keep my ear to the ground and my finger on the pulse of whats happening around me :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Mrs.JMajor]

Theres a few Pinay GRO's right here in the UK who charge £1200 a NIGHT :omg: to keep some lonesome guy company :Erm:

Have you meet them? :Erm:----:icon_lol:------:xxgrinning--00xx3:--------:action-smiley-081:

[Jay&Zobel]

Because I always keep my ear to the ground and my finger on the pulse of whats happening around me :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Oh yeah I remember, from your previous post that you mentioned that you are very keen observant :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Tawi2]

What sort of question is that for a lady to ask a gentleman :yikes:

[trader dave]

£1200 a night :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: and i bet they are past there sell by date :Erm::Erm:

your friend is in a very difficult situation and you are :doh:doh there is not an easy way to approach it perhaps you could print off some interesting reading for him about the philippine culture relationships ect there used to be a very interesting site [now expired] and he could read --the single mans survival guide to the philippines and the GOOD THE BAD THE SCAMMERS everyman should read that before they even step foot in the philippines and as far as believing lines like I LOVE YOU after 2 minutes :Cuckoo::cwm3::Rasp::Erm::omg: WAKE UP SMELL THE COFFEE

[NotYou]

So sorry I missed the start of this,

Rather foolish, but which one of us can say we have not been foolish before?

Another example of how this forum holds up filipinas as such wonderful, faithful, caring partners. Yet the same forum is so very swift to comdemn filipinas as scammers. Or do we just condemn the scammee as stupid?

Which is it, saints or sinners?

[Ji&Ma]

So sorry I missed the start of this,

Rather foolish, but which one of us can say we have not been foolish before?

Another example of how this forum holds up filipinas as such wonderful, faithful, caring partners. Yet the same forum is so very swift to comdemn filipinas as scammers. Or do we just condemn the scammee as stupid?

Which is it, saints or sinners?
None of that, NotYou, just human as everybody in here - everyone got their own faults and problems...

[estherboaz]

do some investigative work...check her background...

[NotYou]

A sound basis for a relationship? Get a PI to investigate her. I trust you, my love, where do you hide the knives?

[georyz]

its a very tough situation you are in with your friend. my suggestion is to talk to your friend, to start tell him a story that you got a friend you found on the internet which got a filipina girlfriend like him and that friend was asked by his gf to meet her family after a few dates they had and the family were very curious about him(friend) and had asks so many questions then throw questions to him(your friend) when are you going to meet your gf's family? isnt it a good idea that you meet and know them? i've read about filipino culture are very family oriented and love to know everyone in their family. Then from his answers you can inject your advice to him. Then you can make suggestions like what if you tell your gf you dont have money what do you think she'll do?(is it no money no honey?) or say tell your gf you got tickets to the philippines for 2 to visit her family to ask blessings for the relationship, will she be happy? (will she be full of reasons?)

These are only my opinion. i hope it helps you in getting more ideas so its not too harsh to him when you talk about him being scammed.

[aromulus]

So sorry I missed the start of this,

Rather foolish, but which one of us can say we have not been foolish before?

Another example of how this forum holds up filipinas as such wonderful, faithful, caring partners.?

Are they not....???



Yet the same forum is so very swift to comdemn filipinas as scammers.

No we don't. :cwm23:
And you should read the thread from the start, :doh
All the reds flags are there.:omg:
Compared to the millions, only a few Pinays do scam as a way of getting out of poverty



Or do we just condemn the scammee as stupid?
?

To a certain extent, yes.
Although the right word would be "gullible".

[worriedanna]

she says her family in the uk has taken her passport from her and she cannot go anywhere.

okay guys
I will write the facts of what I know as neutrally as I can so that people can get an understanding

she has been here for two or three years before she met "Andrew" (my brothers friend)
they met during work - first talking, then he looked out for her and then fell in love
she said she had a sick mother - he offered money - she refused - she got more upset and he offered again -she took it
she said she must send the money via another relative as the parents would spend the money on other things
she said that andrew saved her mothers life
andrew wanted to meet her family in the uk
she refused saying that "all white man are after one thing" and they would punish her and send her back
she said she was brought here to take care of the children while her family went to work
she works two jobs and must go home straight after
if she takes a day off Andrew must reimburse her with her wages for that day so she can hand up the money when she gets home to her family
Andrew cannot look at anybody else female
Andrew wanted to bypass her family in the UK and meet her parents in the phillipines - she says if they find out she is with a white man they will punish her and send her home
Andrew is not allowed to call her
Andrew is not allowed to text her unless she texts him first and gives him a time to text
Andrew is not allowed near her house
Andrew wanted to prove himself and they got engaged - she accepted but is still not allowing him to meet her family
She can hold a perfectly adult conversation but reverts to a five year old with wide eyes when Andrew is around
When Andrew is with other people she steers him away so they they end up by themselves away from everyone else.

[KeithD]

she says her family in the uk has taken her passport from her and she cannot go anywhere.
That is illegal and carries a jail sentence.

Call her bluff 2: Tell her to go to the police and put a complaint in and you'll go with her, if she won't tell her you'll help her out, being the kind person you are :), and will do it yourself. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

PS....She's married!

[Tawi2]

I have had a few relationships with Pinays,all of them without exception want you to meet their family :Erm: This guys best off bailing out ASAP :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[georyz]

At her age parents family cant control anymore as to what she wants to do. with regards to passport being held by her family i doubt its true and it doesnt matter they cant deport her unless she is here and working illegally. If she truly loves your friend she will introduce him to the whole clan no matter what. Tell your friend prove to her family he is genuine and give a surprise visit in her house at night and meet her family (if she is not hiding anything aside from the relationship it will be alright but if she is married thats a very big problem). or maybe you can do some investigation by knowing who are the people living in her house and that will give you a clue.

[Eljohno]

That is illegal and carries a jail sentence.

Call her bluff 2: Tell her to go to the police and put a complaint in and you'll go with her, if she won't tell her you'll help her out, being the kind person you are :), and will do it yourself. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

PS....She's married!


Keith i was starting to think that she is married also as all the signs of it are there.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Maybe that is the reason she will not let him meet her family as her husband might not be too chuffed :doh

[Mrs Daddy]

thats what I thought eljhono after reading through all these.I thought that she might be married back in PI and that she is just using the poor white man financially...

[tiN]

That is illegal and carries a jail sentence.

Call her bluff 2: Tell her to go to the police and put a complaint in and you'll go with her, if she won't tell her you'll help her out, being the kind person you are :), and will do it yourself. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

PS....She's married!

:iagree::iagree::NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

[worriedanna]

she says that she is illegal and her family have a hold over her - also when she is out, if she sees other filipino's she covers her head in case she is recognised. She also will not meet any more of andrews friends and does not tend to want to mix in - I am thinking that this is because the more people that know her, the more chance that her story will not add up. Andrew says that it is because she is afraid of people and very shy and timid.

I am just thinking - what if she is reading these posts - actually I hope she is because maybe she will know that although Andrew is being blind at the moment, his friends do care about him and will take action to not see him being scammed.

[Tawi2]

If she is here as a TNT the stories gone from bad to worse,I have a friend in North London who got entangled with a similar sort of woman,similar sort of age,nothing but trouble,she twisted him around her little fingers like a strand of copper wire,my mates not exactly slow,he is a computer engineer,but he has the mental age of a 12 year old kid in social situations,no confidence with women etc,never had girlfriends when he was younger,you know the sort,is "Andrew" similar?How old is he?She is one nail he has to hit on the head,jettison her ASAP,if he is smitten with her your best bet is to back away,get on with your own life,its not your problem,he will waken up once she has wrung him dry,her karma hopefully awaits in the not too distant future :Erm: One question though,if she is working how?Isnt her employer aware of the hefty fines for employing illegals?

[worriedanna]

thank you tawi - you have described him perfectly. She works different jobs but has told him that she is illegal - we don't know if she is illegal or not - she says that her family in the uk is holding her passport and papers so she cannot access them to show Andrew. Also she says she was brought here to mind their children - she then got a job with the families blessing but must come straight home from the job. She also says that her family thinks "all white men are bad" - if this is so why did she move to a country that is full of white men.

none of her stories seem to add up. This is the worrying thing.

She is 35 - surely her family do not still have control of her.

[katie37pinayuk]

PS....She's married!

this could be the perfect reason behind it:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

I met countless guys like that worried,they go to asia and suddenly think they are in adult disneyland,they didnt have much experience with women when they were in their teens or twenties and lose all reason when a half decent looking women takes notice of them in later life:Erm:Give the guy distance,back away and let them sort out their own problems,he wont take notice of you anyway,when I was based in Hong Kong we used to call it "P*ssy-whipped",enjoy your own life,let him come to his senses if and when he is ready,how old is he?

[worriedanna]

he is 48
its easy to say back off. But he is going to lose everything and be left with nothing. I don't want to back off until this happens and then say "oh I could have told you that would happen" He needs someone to put him straight now, even if only to put it into his head so he would be more cautious.

[worriedanna]

also, he never went to asia - I don't think he ever mentioned a filipino woman before he met this person - I don't even think he knew what the capital was. He is not well travelled at all and is not well up on socialising with a lot of women.

[Tawi2]

48?Mid-life crisis time for some of us :ARsurrender: He is a grown man anna,you cant live his life for him,if he makes mistakes its down to him to rectify them or live with them :cwm3: Ok then,have a word,plant the seed in his mind,then back off,if it germinates and he clues on all well and good,if it whithers on stony ground dont worry because at least you tried :xxgrinning--00xx3: Dont stress about someone elses problems,enjoy the sunny bank holiday weather :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

If he "Met her through work" what was he working as and what was she working as that brought them together for sufficient time to allow a "Relationship" to blossom? :Erm:

[Mrs.JMajor]

I think that filipina is really a damn beautiful ..is it ? because youre friend is really dying inlove to her...:NoNo:

[worriedanna]

yes, he got an extra job working in a restaurant and she was there - the "romance" blossomed on drives home - he took the staff home in his car to save them money purchasing a cab - she was the last one to be dropped off each night and they got talking.

yes, she is a pretty woman, but then the majority of Filipinos are very pretty.

[adam&chryss]

yes, he got an extra job working in a restaurant and she was there - the "romance" blossomed on drives home - he took the staff home in his car to save them money purchasing a cab - she was the last one to be dropped off each night and they got talking.

yes, she is a pretty woman, but then the majority of Filipinos are very pretty.

i agree with you :xxgrinning--00xx3::D

[adam&chryss]

if you are too concern of your friend (which i'm sure you are)... why don't you go to her house when she's not there and see for yourself if the people there is her relatives or if she's telling the truth :)

[KeithD]

....but then the majority of Filipinos are very pretty.
No need to crawl :D :Cuckoo:

[rayofLight]

An infinite scam...

[worriedanna]

LOL
not crawling at all - its a fact. some races are prettier than others - filipinos happen to be a handsome race.
I would go to her house but I don't know where she lives - its a secret.

[Tawi2]

No fool like an old fool :doh

[Tawi2]

Easy to find her house,ask him where he used to drop her off :icon_lol:

[georyz]

its clear she is hiding something (SHE IS MARRIED). if its the family who holds her passport how come she is able to get a job as employer usually asks for it. if shes here illegal then theres no chance for them to get married here.

try following her after her work for sure you know where it is. Whereabouts are you? maybe one of us here is near your place and can help you know about this girl. You may also try to search on networking sites like friendster or facebook and search for the name of the girl who knows she got one.

[trader dave]

yes can you say the area you are in or even the name of the restaurent maybe someone on here knows the place or even her:yikes: i would'nt mind eating out especialy if i am going to be served by a pretty filipina :Erm::cwm24:

[Mrs.JMajor]

yes can you say the area you are in or even the name of the restaurent maybe someone on here knows the place or even her:yikes: i would'nt mind eating out especialy if i am going to be served by a pretty filipina :Erm::cwm24:

oiii Dave,you also nosy to see how beautiful she is ....hahahah


yes, she is a pretty woman, but then the majority of Filipinos are very pretty.


oiiii thanks anna,I am starting to like you :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3::D

[Eljohno]

Sorry to state the obvious but this might not end well for your friend and if he is so smitten with this girl talking to him will not work.

I hope though he realises what good friends he has with you guys:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

Go the local fitness centre and hire a tough guy to go round to ask why he's :furious3: with his wife! :D

[Mrs.JMajor]

Go the local fitness centre and hire a tough guy to go round to ask why he's :furious3: with his wife! :D

Hey,that make sense lol pretend he is the husband of the girl,you think so Dana :Erm:

[NotYou]

:butthead: Most Filipinas are pretty? Some are some aren't.

I am, of course, startling sort of cross between Brad Pitt, Stan Ogden and Baden Powell.

[Jay&Zobel]

:butthead: Most Filipinas are pretty? Some are some aren't.

MOST = MEANING NOT ALL! As you have said, some are some aren't...:NoNo::NoNo:

[KeithD]

I am, of course, ....sort of cross.....
We can tell :rolleyes:

[Sophie]

he is 48
its easy to say back off. But he is going to lose everything and be left with nothing. I don't want to back off until this happens and then say "oh I could have told you that would happen" He needs someone to put him straight now, even if only to put it into his head so he would be more cautious.

I agree anna, just give it to him straight. If he won't listen, then its up to him. As long as you did your best to be the good friend that you are now for him.

[worriedanna]

i met him in the supermarket at the weekand and I told him I needed to have a serious chat to him - I told that he was well aware of what I was going to say to him - he told me that yes he knew what I was going to say and that he would call by my house - he assured me that he knew things were not as perfect as they could be and that he has been doing a lot of thinking about stuff . He told me that he would call to me in the next week or so - I will wait and see if he does.

[Mrs Daddy]

hopefully he`ll realize it by then...

[Florge]

and when he visits.... whack him straight to the jaw like how Pacquiao did it... so that his thick steel helmet will fall off his head and he'll realize that he has been scammed all along... hehehehe....

[bornatbirth]

why not find out who she really is and confront her?

say that you will go to the police over fraud and get her deported.

surely all her family or whoever she lives with are in the scam too?

but dont talk to him like a kid! just try to explain to him your concerns about the relationship!

[worriedanna]

believe me born
that is what I want to do. I want to confront her and tell her that we are watching her but if I do that then it will just turn him against us and even if what we say is true, and she leaves him alone, he will blame us.

I think the right thing to do is to get him and tell him - hopefully he knows at the back of his mind that things are not right. I would LOVE to get the two of them to the house and confront her (in a nice way) with him being present and see how she cringes, but that won't happen because "she is too shy, and nervous and afraid of meeting people" to do that.

She tells him when she is free, she tells him when he can text, she tells him she cannot stay overnight or even go away for a night - he is at her beck and call. She is calling the shots.

I only hope he DOES come to my house over the next week, and that he did not just say it to get rid of me. I told him straight out when I say him that things were not right. I did not be nicey nicy about it - I just told him very factually that things were not right - he tended to agree with me then, but we need to get him for at least an hour to talk to him.

[Ji&Ma]

i met him in the supermarket at the weekand and I told him I needed to have a serious chat to him - I told that he was well aware of what I was going to say to him - he told me that yes he knew what I was going to say and that he would call by my house - he assured me that he knew things were not as perfect as they could be and that he has been doing a lot of thinking about stuff . He told me that he would call to me in the next week or so - I will wait and see if he does.
Fingers crossed for you then:xxgrinning--00xx3: Maybe - if he's been true and really started thinking - things are going to change for better:Erm:

[TONY73]

just add some ideas of mine, if u need some proof of evidence if you have time to act as a secret detective and take some pictures of the filipina girl with the family or husband,try to follow the filipina woman after work to find the house, or if they have a date to your friend try to follow her after they met, you can act or disguise face or whatever if you have time, or if you know the home of that woman try to hung out near the home some other day.

[Jay&Zobel]

just add some ideas of mine, if u need some proof of evidence if you have time to act as a secret detective and take some pictures of the filipina girl with the family or husband,try to follow the filipina woman after work to find the house, or if they have a date to your friend try to follow her after they met, you can act or disguise face or whatever if you have time, or if you know the home of that woman try to hung out near the home some other day.

stalking :Erm::D

[worriedanna]

hi guys - me again
okay the update - our friend was supposed to meet us for a night out last weekend - we had it planned for about two weeks - all was great - however on the day he called and said there was a "problem" (he did not elaborate) and he may not be able to meet but he would try - sure enough we were left waiting for him. Next day I called and asked what happened - he said that his "girlfriend" was having a problem and he had to sort it for her - again no elaboration.

we have now made arrangements to meet up again next week - I am not holding my breath tho - we have not actually seen or spoke to him now for weeks and weeks

[Dedworth]

This strikes me as one of those crackpot threads that goes on forever with the OP adding a little twist and turn now and again. I'm amazed folks spend 4 weeks adding to it - self excluded

[Sophie]

hi guys - me again
okay the update - our friend was supposed to meet us for a night out last weekend - we had it planned for about two weeks - all was great - however on the day he called and said there was a "problem" (he did not elaborate) and he may not be able to meet but he would try - sure enough we were left waiting for him. Next day I called and asked what happened - he said that his "girlfriend" was having a problem and he had to sort it for her - again no elaboration.

we have now made arrangements to meet up again next week - I am not holding my breath tho - we have not actually seen or spoke to him now for weeks and weeks

Oh that's too bad anna. Anyway, i hope your plan next week would push through. Goodluck then :)

[worriedanna]

dedworth, no offence but if that was the case I could think of a ton more forums i could join besides this one.

I am posting because there was a new development and the people on here were good enough to voice their opinions. Would you rather I come on every day and type nonsense when I have nothing to say?

if you don't want to reply or post, then don't but let the others give me their advice and opinion if they want. you DO have a choice to be on here. Its not compulsary.

[SurvivingAngel]

thank you again.
we are going to let him know, at the risk of losing a friendship, which we know will happen. One more question - is it normal for her to have a completely normal conversation with women, but turn into a shy timid afraid person when he is around, and also to change her voice to a very childish one - this is something else that bothers us. But yet he seems to want to protect her more when this happens - the woman is 35. Is this normal.

If she is 35 and baby talking, tell her to stop acting that way, it's not normal. She seems dangerous. If you can find someone to follow her so you know where she lives, much better. Have someone pretend and befriend the family she is living with in the UK, she is hiding something that once revealed will cut all her access to your friend's wallet.

[MarBell379]

Have you thought about sending an anonymous email?
Its easy to set up an account and might be a way of waking him up to some of these pretty obvious signs without ruining your friendship.

[aromulus]

Have you thought about sending an anonymous email?
Its easy to set up an account and might be a way of waking him up to some of these pretty obvious signs without ruining your friendship.

:doh

:NoNo:

[worriedanna]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - I'm on the verge of giving up - I am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him. :NoNo:

[Tawi2]

Best thing to do,get on with your own life and enjoy it,he is a mature adult,let him make his mistakes as long as they dont affect your family life,wash your hands of his relationship,its not your concern,easy,problem solved :xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol:

[aromulus]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - I'm on the verge of giving up - I am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him. :NoNo:

Yup.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Nicely put could go a long way.
No need for niceties there, bluntness and openness are not always appreciated, but he is making his own bed of thorns and he must be warned.

Then wash your hands of him.:omg:

[Dedworth]

Looks as if this one is drawing to its close with the predictable nothing happened outcome.

Next similar long running thread eagerly awaited :icon_lol:

[Sophie]

he cancelled on us - we didn't get to see him - he made up a lame excuse - i'm on the verge of giving up - i am either going to send him a letter which will be very blunt telling him to wake up that he is being scammed or else just tell him we give up on him and to go ahead and get scammed, but not to come back later and say nobody told him. :nono:

do just that diana and if it still doesn't work, then he is a hopeless case.
Move on and leave him alone, he probably needs to learn the hard way...........

[worriedanna]

i sent the letter - its quite blunt

i told him to read it through and then do what he wanted himself. If anything happens I will let ye know but as of now there is nothing I can do - thanks guys for your help and advice on here . I'll be sure to keep you posted.

[Jonnywina]

what ever happened next?

[Sconnie]

Any News ??

[aromulus]

Any News ??

Guess not.....:Erm:

[trader dave]

:cwm23:

i hate waiting for the next episode:NoNo:

[Dedworth]

:cwm23:

i hate waiting for the next episode:NoNo:

Don't fret another would be soap scriptwriter will soon come along and start a new tear jerking series

[bornatbirth]

Don't fret another would be soap scriptwriter will soon come along and start a new tear jerking series

coming from a chelski fan? :Erm: :icon_lol:

[Sconnie]

Still no news, I was hoping we would hear the outcome.

[bystander09]

hello everybody

I am new - I came on here because I need some advice - my brothers friend met a filipino woman (age 35) through his work - it started off as just talking but he soon fell in love with her.

Since then, this woman has told me stories about how she has a very big family but they don't care for her parents - she needed money to purchase medication for a very ill mother - the man provided her with 1000 pounds - however she did not send this directly to her parents - she sent it via a sister because she said her parents would spend the money on other things. So far he has given about 2500 pounds for medication. he feels flattered because she has told this man he has saved her mother.

also, she says that she is living with family members here in the UK and they take all her money from her and just send her to work for money that she has to give up when she gets home. She will not let this man be introduced to her family. The man is completely smitten and has gotten engaged to this woman and begged her if he can meet her family and have an open relationship - she refuses although she accepted the ring. He is now on the verge of putting her name on his business. He has asked can he meet her family in the Philippines but she has refused also. She takes days off to meet him but he must reimburse her with money so she can pretend she was at work.

For me and my friends that know this man, it seems that this relatioinship is based on money - this man has provided thousands of pounds already and has yet to meet any one of her family, or even has yet to be brought to her house.

Is this the normal way that these relationships go or should we be worried for our friend.

apologies if this causes offences to anybody, but we are seriously worried about this man. We do not want to see him hurt or fooled. The woman is 35 years old.

This is a RIP OFF BE CAREFUL....:ARsurrender:

bystander