How much ££ for the family

[jakeob]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

[Tawi2]

This should be interesting :xxgrinning--00xx3:Very good question Neil :)

[Northerner]

Have you read the sticky thread cost of a relationship (http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=152)?

But as for your question.. I'm curious too:Erm::Erm:

[trader dave]

:yikes::yikes: all i will say if you want to do that is ---dont start what you cant carry on

a simple question was your wife working and supporting her family before you wisked her off to the uk ????

[Tawi2]

Better just say I know someone who's marriage has just gone up the swanee because his wife sent 10's of 1000's of pounds back without him knowing :Erm:when he found out it sort of signalled "The End" :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

However much you send is never enough,my mate was in pieces,once you do start sending a regular amount you better tack on a few extra thousand for "Family problems" which arise normally around christmas,easter etc :Erm:

[jimeve]

We only send money in emergency,ie medical, collage fees,etc. :ARsurrender:

[Northerner]

We only send money in emergency,ie medical, collage fees,etc. :ARsurrender:

So what's the damage? :REGamblMoney01HL1:

[KeithD]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil
Nothing is the best answer. They survived before you without your money.

[jimeve]

So what's the damage? :REGamblMoney01HL1:

my wallet.:bigcry:

[Northerner]

my wallet.:bigcry:

Yeah, I read that in Duh magazine:icon_lol: But how much on average do these "family emergencies" and other stuff set you back? Say, college tuition??

:)

[Tawi2]

Sometimes its best not to open pandoras box:NoNo:

[Northerner]

Sometimes its best not to open pandoras box:NoNo:

Sometimes we just have to get into the box to see what's there:Erm:

[Tawi2]

Peer in from a safe distance :xxgrinning--00xx3:I have a mate who sends £200 a month back,thats standard for him but I know his wifes family have frequent problems/emergencies :Erm:

[jimeve]

Yeah, I read that in Duh magazine:icon_lol: But how much on average do these "family emergencies" and other stuff set you back? Say, college tuition??

:)

Well we just sent £200 last month, so he could finish his nursing course. his brother has been helping out as well, hes an officer on the ships.

Father in law bad with his health , he would be dead now but for us, diabetic,
pay for his drugs and he had a stroke, the list goes on. anything else you like to know. :rolleyes:

[Northerner]

Peer in from a safe distance :xxgrinning--00xx3:I have a mate who sends £200 a month back,thats standard for him but I know his wifes family have frequent problems/emergencies :Erm:

Fine if your on a fortune, not on my peasant salary:) But seriously, Tawi... Shocking, my last post was thick with innuendo and you missed it:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Northerner]

Well we just sent £200 last month, so he could finish his nursing course. his brother has been helping out as well, hes an officer on the ships.

Father in law bad with his health , he would be dead now but for us, diabetic,
pay for his drugs and he had a stroke, the list goes on. anything else you like to know. :rolleyes:

Your bank account details and sort code:D:D:D:D

:Erm: Food for thought though!

[trader dave]

Fine if your on a fortune, not on my peasant salary:) But seriously, Tawi... Shocking, my last post was thick with innuendo and you missed it:icon_lol::icon_lol:


he was just counting his money he has a family emergency a typoon has just ripped through davoa:Erm::Erm:

[IainBusby]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

Unfortunately they tend to think we are extremely rich, so they usually expect a lot more than they would really need for mere support.
Iain.

[joebloggs]

it depends on your circumstances, everyone's different

i've got a stepson at uni, so we send him money and he lives with his aunt, she gave up her job to look after our daughter for many years, so we help them both out, and as i'm a grandpa now we help with paying for the baby's needs.

[Tawi2]

Fine if your on a fortune, not on my peasant salary:) But seriously, Tawi... Shocking, my last post was thick with innuendo and you missed it:icon_lol::icon_lol:

Nope I cottoned onto the "Box" innuendo,but my Finbar Saunders(and his double entendre)days are behind me,Fnarrrr,fnarrrr :icon_lol: I think from the people I know down here £200 a month is par for the course,and they have all sent money back for houses :Erm: 3 Pinays live within half a mile of me and from what I have been told about £200 average?Theres actually 4 pinays but I dont know about the one over the road,she is a bit suplada.

[Tawi2]

he was just counting his money he has a family emergency a typoon has just ripped through davoa:Erm::Erm:
The people I know in Davao Dave could buy and sell me 10X over :icon_lol: I was there in march when a helicopter landed on their beach :Erm: it was one of the old guys political mates :Erm:

[Northerner]

Nope I cottoned onto the "Box" innuendo,but my Finbar Saunders(and his double entendre)days are behind me,Fnarrrr,fnarrrr :icon_lol: I think from the people I know down here £200 a month is par for the course,and they have all sent money back for houses :Erm: 3 Pinays live within half a mile of me and from what I have been told about £200 average?Theres actually 4 pinays but I dont know about the one over the road,she is a bit suplada.

Fair enough if the pinay in the relatonship is working too :)

[dontpushme]

Unfortunately they tend to think we are extremely rich, so they usually expect a lot more than they would really need for mere support.
Iain.

That's so true! Folks back home in the Philippines tend to think foreigners have very deep pockets and they have no qualms asking for more than what's needed.

If you're determined to send money as an "allowance", I'd say start with a little less than half of what you can handle. It may seem small to you, but in the Philippines, £1 is more than the cost of a person's meal, even in Manila. If they're not in Manila, even better! Your money should last even longer. If it doesn't, check if they suddenly have new entertainment systems or something.:rolleyes:

[jakeob]

That's so true! Folks back home in the Philippines tend to think foreigners have very deep pockets and they have no qualms asking for more than what's needed.

Now thats the bit that would bother me! "Asking or more than whats needed"

Sounds like people pay about £200 per month, but then get hit with "Extras" for this that and the kitchen sink. So probably more like £400 per month if your a good boy.

Hmmm sounds like wifeypoos needs a part time job.:) Well thats what would cross my mind

[fred]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil


It usually depends how many jobs I need done...
If I have none then they make none...A bit like a no work no pay deal.

[dontpushme]

Sounds like people pay about £200 per month, but then get hit with "Extras" for this that and the kitchen sink. So probably more like £400 per month if your a good boy.

I moved around a lot in the Philippines before coming to the US to study, and I noticed that there were places where the young-Filipina-older-foreigner relationships were more prevalent. These were usually places where even a degree from the good universities couldn't land you a decent job in Manila (I'm not naming provinces, but you'll know where they are once you've been there). So you're basically dealing with women who are looking for Prince Charming, not his pauper look-alike.

Because most Filipinos can't provide for a housewife and children, the women in these places look outside the country for men with money. In a lot of cases, their families won't like it. But in many more, the families actually encourage it. Especially when the foreigner with the money (good exchange rate) has white skin. Filipinos tend to think white-skinned people are wealthy. Even my sister gets inflated prices at the farmer's market just because she has fairer skin than everyone else there. Poor thing!:icon_lol:

Best thing to do is start small and watch the inflation. Also, ask that whatever extra they have, they invest. Too many families in the Philippines spend their "allowances"on luho (aka luxuries) because they can't afford the things themselves so when they do have money, they go overboard.

[trader dave]

The people I know in Davao Dave could buy and sell me 10X over :icon_lol: I was there in march when a helicopter landed on their beach :Erm: it was one of the old guys political mates :Erm:


:doh:doh the point i was trying to make was the typoon in the south not up in luzon :doh:doh just another excuse to get money:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[dontpushme]

Eep! That's definitely not right.:omg:

[bornatbirth]

how much to send?

that really depends on you and your wifes family,how much money do you have or spare to give and do you really need too?

think of yourself and wife first then her family and agree a set amount because you may find it becoming a bottomless pit?

[Sophie]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help? I think you put that into consideration before sending money....
You don't want to encourage them to be lazy and be a free loader all the time,
specially the sibblings, if they are all grown up and adults....or even married and with kids already,
they should learn to fend for themselves - financial dependency may become a habit...
The parents, you could probably send some money specially if they are old and weak and needs medical maintenance.....
Just my opinion though, no ofence meant to anyone......

[IainBusby]

Now thats the bit that would bother me! "Asking or more than whats needed"

Sounds like people pay about £200 per month, but then get hit with "Extras" for this that and the kitchen sink. So probably more like £400 per month if your a good boy.

Hmmm sounds like wifeypoos needs a part time job.:) Well thats what would cross my mind

P5,000 a month is enough, especially in the provinces. That much is a living wage out there. If you give more it only encourages dependency and they will never even try to do anything for themselves.

I firmly believe that you should try to equate it to being on the dole in this country without all the extras that many people in the UK get. If the government here gave you more than you need to live on and enough for luxuries as well while you were on the dole, you'd never even try to find a job.

As far as the extras/emergencies go, question everything and check them out as thoroughly as you can before you send more money. Just make sure you don't fall into an expectation "they ask, you send" relationship with them.

Iain.
Iain.

[kenny]

Unfortunately they tend to think we are extremely rich, so they usually expect a lot more than they would really need for mere support.
Iain.
The thing is, the english pound is usually very strong in the Philippines and goes a long way. What filipinos may not realise is that the pound does not go a long way here in England.
I would say only in real emergency:ARsurrender:

[jakeob]

I can imagine a lot depends on your wife, and how she handles here family back home when they make requests for money. If she stands firm with them and sends only what is reasonable and can be well afforded then i am sure things would work out fine.

Just working out what is reasonable i guess is where the problems are!

[vbkelly]

i send a money back home £200 a month for 4 people live in the house

[pennybarry]

As much as possible, we, filipinas are trying NOT to depend with our husband.
We have also patience if our husband has no money to give us and we are also trying to help our hubby if he's in trouble with money. We can help by being patient and understanding.
We are not picky in job hunting as long as it will not harm others. This will help us not to depend too much from our husband.
Some problem arise if filipina turns into liar. If they cannot and no chance to land a job, they nicked and send money without hubby's permission. This is the saddest thing as I can't think any reason why some do that.
We all have family in Pinas, it depends on the sender how she control sending too much that will affect their relationship.
Tell your wifey to tell everything to you in the beginning, especially when it comes to money matters. You will surely have a good agreement if you discuss this beforehand.
They said it's only MONEY, but it is also the start of trouble of every relationship.:D
I felt, if I didn't discuss this to my hubby beforehand, I might get in trouble with him. :D And if I tell him something why I need that amount, he gives me some additional to my hard earned money and send it together.

That's the importance of telling true and making agreement about your financial capabilities.
I send about 100-200£/ month. That's the only amount I can afford and my Nanay is very happy for that. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kimmi]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

hi Neil,

I think this is really a case to case basis. If you can afford to send each month then good for u. But make sure u know when to say NO.:xxgrinning--00xx3: In our case, Hubby and I are both working, we both shared the bills and expenses and what's left is for our savings and if there's still left that's what we send home though I know my parents are not expecting us to send them anything and we're surprised to know that my dad keep all of them in a bank account and they only uses it for emergency i.e hospital bills.

I think it will be better if u discussed it with ur future wife..:D

[jakeob]

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help?

Hi Sophie, yes i see your points here, every situation is a little different, i am just looking at the pros and cons before i set down that long road to looking for a Philippina

n

[Sophie]

Hi neil, is your wife the breadwinner of the family?
How desperate do you think her family needs help?

Hi Sophie, yes i see your points here, every situation is a little different, i am just looking at the pros and cons before i set down that long road to looking for a Philippina

n

Oh ok lol, i thought you're with a filipina wife already, i forgot your other thread, saying you're open to the idea of a filipina wife....
Anyway, it's good you're trying to get as much information as you can,
so in case you finally meet one, you're fully aware and prepared of the pros and cons :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

my wife use to say, it's just money when i had to send money to the phils :NoNo:, it's easy to spend and waste someone elses money.

funny since my wife has been working, and now we send some of her wages back to the phils, its not longer just money, but money she has had to earn :D and we dont send as much as we use to :icon_lol:

only send what you can easily afford, dont get your self in debt or let it get out of hand :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jakeob]

Joblogs, thats a great storey, ahahaha now your wife is working and sending her own wages its no longer "Just Money" and now the family get less:)

n:)

[trader dave]

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:


READ READ AND READ AGAIN http://www.british-filipino.com/

[KeithD]

READ READ AND READ AGAIN http://www.british-filipino.com/
Spammer :cwm24: :rolleyes:

[Matt7]

You're an adult aren't you :xxgrinning--00xx3: It's not like there's set figures or anything

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)

If you're absolutely intent on sending money back, why not tell your other half that you'll match whatever she sends back? Sounds fair, no?

But I definitely wouldn't feel obliged to send anything back, like Win2Win (I believe) mentioned, they coped before you came along, they can cope when you're there

[bornatbirth]

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)



whys it an insult?

its completely natural to support someone you have a relationship with,i guess your lucky not needing to support your gf or her family or maybe they wont accept it like my wifes family!

[maria_and_matt]

i am glad i am not married to any of you guys:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Matt7]

whys it an insult?

its completely natural to support someone you have a relationship with,i guess your lucky not needing to support your gf or her family or maybe they wont accept it like my wifes family!

Guess its the way I've entered the relationship. If she were to suddenly turn around and say "yeah send £x back to the Philippines every month". Why should I? Would she stop loving me if I didn't? Would she resent me?

I've never sent money to any girlfriends families in the UK, so to me it's not completely natural. If part of the reason a girl wants to marry me is because I have the £££ to support her family then I think I have every right to feel insulted.

[joebloggs]

On a personal level I'd be insulted if dontpushme asked me to send money back to the Philippines, but I guess I'm pretty lucky because she'd never ask me in the first place, (not that I have any to send)


well at least she knows where you stand on sending money then :D

but what would happen if she needed it for an emergency, or she lost her job, was at uni studying, her family were poor, you still wouldn't help :Erm:

it all depends on circumstances. and if you can afford to help, but insulted is a strong word to use :NoNo:..

if your parents didn't have much would you help them out ? or let them struggle ??

[Tawi2]

Dont feel insulted Matt,its asian culture,totally different from ours,though this system of dependancy looks set to continue for a long time in the future as pinas has a 3% population growth and is reliant on foreign remittances:Erm: Also remember we all live according to our means,we adjust to whatever we have in our accounts or the salary we are earning,the more you send the more they spend :icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

the more you send the more they spend :icon_lol:

yes because the cost of living in Pinas is getting high:icon_lol:

But lol I'm turned off to kuripots although I don't really ask money.

Do u know what I mean Tawi?:Rasp::Rasp::Rasp:

[Tawi2]

Dili ko kuripot Pen,but Asian culture and Western culture are often like oil and water,they dont mix well :icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

Dili ko kuripot Pen,but Asian culture and Western culture are often like oil and water,they dont mix well :icon_lol:

Well, add detergent soap Tawi and they will mix together smoothly and bubbly. :xxgrinning--00xx3: :D:icon_lol:

[Tawi2]

:omg:Smooth bubbly soapy asian/western mixes?And Bubbly also?Sounds like the champagne soapy massages I used to have in Pattaya,lets quickly skate over that and get back on the road to how much :icon_lol:(It used to be 1000 baht:Erm:).

[bornatbirth]

Well, add detergent soap Tawi and they will mix together smoothly and bubbly. :xxgrinning--00xx3: :D:icon_lol:

do you have photos to prove this theory?

because i tried this with my wife when i was washing the car. :icon_lol:

[Gavanddal]

Nothing is the best answer. They survived before you without your money.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:
Too right! You don't want to be seen as a soft touch.

[Tonet]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

I arrived here on a fiancee visa (not allowed to work) so my husband used to send money to my family. He sent P10,000 monthly, but when i started working i sent from my own money.

For a year i sent them £400-£500 monthly, because i support my mother, 2 brothers and their family.Most of the people here would probably not do that but i do because i have to.

None of my 6 brothers managed to finish primary school because we cant afford to, so no chance to get a good paying job.They helped me before that's why i managed finished high school, so now its my turn to help.

My husband doesnt mind he just doesnt like me spending almost all of my money to them and not buying anything for my self, but i always ask him "would you rather see me buying endless clothes, bags shoes etc while my family are starving?" My mother have struggle financially all her life, now that i have a chance to make her life a lil better why should'nt i?

I managed to help because we are currently staying with his parents but things would need to change if we have our own place. that's why last april i bought a jeep for my 1st bro and a tricycle for the 2nd so they can start supporting themselves, and be prepared for the time that i cant afford to send anymore.

I'm telling this to show example of a situation, if my family doesnt need help i would'nt even send. You couldnt really give a specific amount to send, it depends on your situation and theirs as well

[joebloggs]

For a year i sent them £400-£500 monthly, because i support my mother, 2 brothers and their family.Most of the people here would probably not do that but i do because i have to.

None of my 6 brothers managed to finish primary school because we cant afford to, so no chance to get a good paying job.They helped me before that's why i managed finished high school, so now its my turn to help.

My husband doesnt mind he just doesnt like me spending almost all of my money to them and not buying anything for my self, but i always ask him "would you rather see me buying endless clothes, bags shoes etc while my family are starving?" My mother have struggle financially all her life, now that i have a chance to make her life a lil better why should'nt i?

:xxgrinning--00xx3: just like my wife, her mom and sister helped get her thru uni when she was doing her biology degree, without their help she would never have been able to go, she owes her aunt for giving up her job for years to look after my stepson and our little gal..

it's pay back time, without their sacrifices my misses would never have got so far, or be doing the job she dreamed of since she was a little kid.

my misses is making sacrifices now, because she is repaying the debt she owes, she has not seen her family for more than 4yrs.. respect to those who repay their debts and to those husbands who understand and support their wife. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Matt7]

well at least she knows where you stand on sending money then :D

but what would happen if she needed it for an emergency, or she lost her job, was at uni studying, her family were poor, you still wouldn't help :Erm:

it all depends on circumstances. and if you can afford to help, but insulted is a strong word to use :NoNo:..

if your parents didn't have much would you help them out ? or let them struggle ??


It's not really though, I want a girl to be in a relationship with me for the right reasons. If she has ulterior motives then I'd feel insulted by them

Obviously there are extenuating circumstances. If the girls family lived in abject poverty then I'd want to help, but if I was sending hard earned cash back to fund lavish spending when the family was already comfortable then its absolute nonsense.

Luckily this is all hypothetical :D

*edit - Can I just add its not my intention to offend anyone here, perhaps I'm just a little naive. But I get annoyed at the times people are somewhat "expected" to fund other peoples lifestyles, taxpayers fund enough lifestyles in the UK, but thats a different beast. I am more that willing to admit many people in the Philippines do need some kind of assistance though, especially considering there is no Welfare (I think I'm right with that? Or maybe just a little misinformed).

[joebloggs]

exactly matt your g/f is one of the lucky ones then :rolleyes:

but many are not so lucky, and everyday is a struggle, my misses didn't have inet when i first chatted to her, as a student living 100s of miles from home, she had no money, i could say :censored: or i could help. most the money i sent went to the misses not to buy things she didn't need but to pay the bills, uni fees etc, and now much of it goes to pay for her son to get thru uni, no one is having an easy time or buying plasma tv's with the money we send. :NoNo:. there is helping and repaying debts owed and their is taking the :piss2:

[joebloggs]

I am more that willing to admit many people in the Philippines do need some kind of assistance though, especially considering there is no Welfare (I think I'm right with that? Or maybe just a little misinformed).

have you been to the phils, near manila port ? where there are people with nothing !, sleeping on the streets, living in slums :NoNo:

my misses wouldn't let me go anywhere near the place. no welfare, nothing.:cwm24:

[trader dave]

i am glad i am not married to any of you guys:icon_lol::icon_lol:



maybe they are glad they are not married to you :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo:

[Matt7]

Well like I said there are obviously circumstances where it helps, and can improve a persons quality of living. Having no welfare is a damn shame, especially considering how many people abuse and exploit it here, and I genuinely feel terrible for homeless living in slums around the world

I guess my argument has become a little disjointed. To me the OP seemed like sending money back was just "the done thing", and I disagree with that, and think it should only be done when the circumstances dictate

:)

[joebloggs]

i think we will always send some money to my misses mom but it will not be so much, enough to give them a bit of help, so they don't struggle. anyway what my misses sends, will be nothing to what my misses can earn.

but i've seen some :yikes: things in the phils, how some have had to live ( the house my misses rented, at the end of the garden, an old man had built, what was nothing more than a size of a dog kennel to live in - no water, no elec) .

tawi2 i would have thought would have seen much worse than i have ever seen :cwm24:

[Tawi2]

:NoNo:I have seen bad housing and living conditions that would be described as unfit for human habitation Joe,But that was in Sunderland:Rasp: To be honest I dont know if any of you know the YMCA in cebu?Just off Fuente?The road leading down to it has a sewage/sludge stream running under it,run-off from sewage or whatever,I was walking down the road and heard a kitten mewling,I looked over into the stream and a very scruffy tiny kitten was near the edge so I got over the wall and was about to slide down the banking when a movement under the road bridge on the periphery of my vision drew attention to several families living under the bridge,mothers,fathers,kids and obviously some kids kitten :cwm24: You see it everywhere,next time your over there eschew the malls,avoid the nice beaches,thats all a facade(who wants to go abroad and spend all day in an aircon mall???)get into a squatter area,or walk around the back streets,you meet all sorts of interesting people and see a little of the real world of pinas,its not the paradise many imagine for some:NoNo:As for sending money over for peoples studies I support that 110% however :icon_lol: I did it twice,full term,all the way through,both were girls and got degrees,ones never used hers despite her promises to her mum and dad(her mum is dying at the moment,terminal illness)because she got pregnant and married to a guy in Manila,the other one An is working in a call center,computer wizz-kid but well,I learnt a few weeks ago she is also pregnant but cant marry her boyfriend because of religious issues :Erm: But its part of being human,its inbuilt,if your close to someone and see they are lacking you feel the urge to give dont you?(any donations PM me for my account details:xxgrinning--00xx3:).

[trader dave]

have you been to the phils, near manila port ? where there are people with nothing !, sleeping on the streets, living in slums :NoNo:

my misses wouldn't let me go anywhere near the place. no welfare, nothing.:cwm24:


its a shame that some foreginers cant just come down to there level no offence intended here :xxgrinning--00xx3:there are some very nice and sometimes very clever people that just have not had a chance to improve there pitifull lives over there ,and i take my hat off to the under classes in the philippines because they do try unlike some of our own :NoNo:

[Tawi2]

its a shame that some foreginers cant just come down to there level no offence intended here :xxgrinning--00xx3:there are some very nice and sometimes very clever people that just have not had a chance to improve there pitifull lives over there ,and i take my hat off to the under classes in the philippines because they do try unlike some of our own :NoNo:

Good one Dave :xxgrinning--00xx3:I always give my kid hassle,he is a spoilt little git to be honest,but when he wants a new X-box or mobile phone or he is in one of his moaning moods and I think of those kids dodging traffick in Manilas streets selling single ciggarettes or bottles of water or newspapers,and I remember their dirty clothes faded and soiled from exhaust fumes running through traffick in the heat of the sun to earn their mum a few pesos,little tinderas who should really have a happy childhood,smiling and playing with their mates it makes you realise the massive inequalities in this world,and how fortunate we are,albeit by accident of birthplace to be where we are with what we have :NoNo:It could have been a shedload worse for all of us,thats why I never moan about the UK.

[trader dave]

Good one Dave :xxgrinning--00xx3:I always give my kid hassle,he is a spoilt little git to be honest,but when he wants a new X-box or mobile phone or he is in one of his moaning moods and I think of those kids dodging traffick in Manilas streets selling single ciggarettes or bottles of water or newspapers,and I remember their dirty clothes faded and soiled from exhaust fumes running through traffick in the heat of the sun to earn their mum a few pesos,little tinderas who should really have a happy childhood,smiling and playing with their mates it makes you realise the massive inequalities in this world,and how fortunate we are,albeit by accident of birthplace to be where we are with what we have :NoNo:It could have been a shedload worse for all of us,thats why I never moan about the UK.
:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

i have 2 sons one of 15 his mother is english [i want this dad i want that:angry:

my youngest son [philipina mother ] who has been in the phils many times funny he never asks for nothing and always wants to help me with work about the house WHEN HE STAYS WITH ME ---today he helped paint all the fences around the house afterwards we had to go to town so i asked him if he wanted the latest chelsea shirt or a pair of new trainers his reply NO THANKS DAD :xxgrinning--00xx3: :Erm:

[jimeve]

I love going back to my wife's parents house, its one large house that Tatay started when he was younger and fitter. So myself and sister in laws husband whom is Dutch, helped Tatay finish the house extension so that all his sons could live there with their wifes and children. my wife miss them so much. I try and go over every xmas, but had to miss this time due to the recession, :censored: bankers.

[Northerner]

I was speaking with a friend about this yesterday. He is of Indian origin and his wife is from India :Erm: So he will often send money back to help his wifes family as from time to time they will need it, but then they are not living in dire straits (doctors in the family)... But like we all have hard times, his in-laws could face a choice between starvation for a few days or paying the bills:cwm24: Not the kind of situation we in the west tend to face too often.

And so the family, and extended family all pull together to support one another :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Personally, I think if you marry into an Asian family who have a similar sort of bond then you really should expect a few calls for money every so often. But it seems the obvious thing on this forum is that people do not like to send money to fund drink habits or whatever vices some inlaws may have.

I know my mahal was funded through college by an aunt in the USA, so I expect to be "Paying it forward" in the future, and that does not bother me. So long as the family unit here in the UK comes first, then all should be fine.

:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

Most of us have never lived in abject poverty N,your going to meet some who do on your trip,we cant imagine our kid eating one meal a day of low nutritional value because thats all we could budget for,they say travel broadens the mind but it also opens your heart a little,I just went over to Tesco,the woman in front of me who didnt look as if she even knew how to spell starvation :icon_lol:(her waist was bigger than mine)racked up a bill of over £300 on what looked to be a load of ready-made microwave meals,fizzy drinks,crisps,biscuits,alcohol and then maybe she had a twinge of conscience going back to the checkouts as she also had a bunch of bananas :icon_lol: Puts it all into perspective when you see a mother of four budgetting a 100 pesos a day for the family meals:NoNo:

[Matt7]

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

i have 2 sons one of 15 his mother is english [i want this dad i want that:angry:

my youngest son [philipina mother ] who has been in the phils many times funny he never asks for nothing and always wants to help me with work about the house WHEN HE STAYS WITH ME ---today he helped paint all the fences around the house afterwards we had to go to town so i asked him if he wanted the latest chelsea shirt or a pair of new trainers his reply NO THANKS DAD :xxgrinning--00xx3: :Erm:

You raised him well! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[JimOttley]

Very poignant thread.

I support three adults and three kids in Manila.

The adults are my partner, Nanay and my partners slighly disabled sister, the kids are mine plus one neice that we are trying to help though school.

This costs me 500 quid a month + emergencies.

I have spent a lot of time in Manila and I know the price of food both in the supermarkets and in the local markets.

Yes a family can live on 200 peso a day more than half of our extended family live on less than this :( but it's not an acceptable amount of money for a decent life.

My rent in Manila is around 100 quid a month for a nice two bed terraced house in Las Pinas, full of ants :) but the neighbours are nice and the location is safe. The other 400 goes on food, bills, clothing and a little bit of a life for Nanay.

This is a lot more than most Filipinos get from abroad but in my case we have no other earners in the family, Tatay died some years ago and Nanay has been living with us for the last 5 years.

Food bills are around 3500 peso a week for 2 adults and 3 kids, (my partner is not at home just now) that provides 3 meals a day for the family and my daughter is still on bottled milk which is unfortunately expensive over there, that adds a lot each week to the food bills.

This works out at around 33 peso a meal per person on average, 105 meals a week at 33 peso a meal, it's not a lot is it?

Electric is 3000 peso a month. (we have the luxury of aircon although I dont know how much longer we can keep that up)

Water is 800 peso a month.

TV is 450 peso a month. (I have TV in the UK why should my family NOT have it in the Phils).

Emergencies never stop, in the Phils there is always someone in deep doo-doo, in the early years I helped a lot but I simply can't anymore.

You might think that the Filipino partner is just trying to milk the foriegn asawa for as much as possible but in reality when in our case the (really extended) family were constantly trying to get help, it upsets and hurts the Filipina tremendously as she does not want to be constantly asking her partner for help but her family can put her under terrible pressure to obtain help and as others have said Filipinos often have no idea of relative wealth or just what it's actually costing the foreign spouse.

The Philippines is such a disaster and black hole that no amount of help will ever be enough but that does not give one an excuse to provide less than is needed for a basic decent standard of living.

In my opinion that level is around 35,000 peso a month, we live above that standard but I don't know for how much longer we can afford that :(

If you are already a family in the UK and both of you are trying to help family back in the Phils then a couple of hundred is more reasonable.

Without aircon electric bills would genreally be around 1500 peso a month (constant use of electric fans for cooling and a basic fridge/freezer)

Water is always going to be around 500 to 800 peso a month.

Gas will be 1500 peso evey two months

Rent will be whatever you can afford, if your family is living in a slum then you are maybe paying 1000 peso a month in a half decent place Manila you might be paying 9000 peso a month.

Equivalent of Council tax is for us in our current house in our subdivision is just 200 peso a month (garbage collection etc.) in our condo a few years ago it was 1500 peso a month for association fees.

Remember that any illness will cost money when you have a newborn every vaccination will cost money and some of them are 7000 or 8000 peso.

We spent around 80,000 peso last year on hospital fees when my daughter was born, a couple of days later I was talking to my taxi driver and found out that his wife had just given birth as well, total cost 1100 peso :) God knows what kind of care his wife got. :)

Lastly as an example of the kind of emergencies that always happen, a few days before my daughter was born last year my partners neice was also giving birth, she is only 19, she nearly died in childbirth she was haemorrhaging badly after delivery and no one in the family could help everyone was broke (and we have a few OFW's in the extended family) anyway it was left to me I had to help what choice did I have, I knew this girl really well she was my future brother in laws youngest, could I let her die?

This is what you are letting yourself get into when you get involved with a Filipina, don't get me wrong the adventure is huge and the rewards will help you grow up in ways that you never imagined possible, it will make a better person of you, but is it no easy path to paradise getting involved with a Filipina, they are a very beautiful people with the richest souls I have ever met but they live in a complicated world.


Jim

[joebloggs]

We spent around 80,000 peso last year on hospital fees when my daughter was born, a couple of days later I was talking to my taxi driver and found out that his wife had just given birth as well, total cost 1100 peso :) God knows what kind of care his wife got. :)

Lastly as an example of the kind of emergencies that always happen, a few days before my daughter was born last year my partners neice was also giving birth, she is only 19, she nearly died in childbirth she was haemorrhaging badly after delivery and no one in the family could help everyone was broke (and we have a few OFW's in the extended family) anyway it was left to me I had to help what choice did I have, I knew this girl really well she was my future brother in laws youngest, could I let her die?

This is what you are letting yourself get into when you get involved with a Filipina, don't get me wrong the adventure is huge and the rewards will help you grow up in ways that you never imagined possible, it will make a better person of you, but is it no easy path to paradise getting involved with a Filipina, they are a very beautiful people with the richest souls I have ever met but they live in a complicated world.


Jim


:icon_lol: all i can do is laugh and not think about pera jim :NoNo:

i use to have money in the bank now i'm living on credit :doh

same situation as you jim, supported my now wife, her aunt, 2 kids to support thru school and uni, and all the emergencies that came along in the last 9yrs i've known the misses.

like you, just this year, me and the misses have paid nearly £1,000 for a caesarean op for my stepsons g/f, now an extra 2 mouths to feed (his g/f and a baby)

also we've had to pay for scans and treatment for the father in law..£100s more.

no one in my misses family has been living the easy life on what we send, we got it down to 20k a month by moving her aunt,stepson and his cousin back to my misses mom on palawan.

but were lucky, my wife is a reg doc in the phils, and hopefully by the end of oct, she will be able to work in the UK as a doc, its taken 4yrs in the uk to get this far because of the :censored: at the GMC. but soon we will look back at all the :censored: we went thru, and just :icon_lol: as it will all be in the past, and we can start living again..

and the problems in the phils were least of my worries compared to the problems i've had in the uk over the last 5yrs. but that's another story :D

good luck jim, i've been there to :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

Three words..........."Its only money":icon_lol: you can shave a fortune off the costs,I lived in the mountains without electricity,bit of an adventure but not something that would appeal to me long term,some people have no option,but something Jim said struck a chord because its 110% true "Emergencies never stop":NoNo: Thats fact,and actually looks to get worse as prices and population over there continue to rise,10 years time you will look back with rose-tinted nostalgia at 2009 and remember it as the days you only sent £200 a month back :icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

Hard to live in Pinas that's why we all work together on how we can survive.

My dad was a farmer eversince and they were married early thru kasunduan (marriage arrangement by my grandparents) and had 10 kids but 3 passed away. But they were determined to raise us in good way. They had a goal which is to send us all to uni. They always said, EDUCATION cannot steal. So we tried to be all educated including our nieces and nephews.

There were always agreement, we will not eat too much meat if we want to survive and finish our course as they cannot afford to buy meat for us. We usually had fish and veggies all from farm and we are happy if we killed chicken to eat. I used to take rice +veggies+fish in banana leaves in the Uni where I was studying:D. Whilst my classmates food meat+rice in a decent tupper ware:D and sometimes they just buy from canteen. It served as challenge to me that if we finished studies everything will be alright. My main goal- to finish and help my parents.

When our eldest graduated, she helped my parents, as well as other elder brod and sis. Luckily I'm the 7th so I got more help from other sis and brods.
Almost all of them already finished their course and some nieces and nephews left studying. That is where my hard earned money goes. I am helping my nephew because my sis cannot able to find a job due to her difficulty of hearing and her hubby always help my Nanay in the farm. Her kid is brilliant, he's a Town mayor scholar so I only paid his 1 year sevice bus, and allowance. It is also my pleasure to send money to my Nanay as she did all the best for us. I want to pamper her as much as possible as she is already old and sending her is my happiness. That my goal before so I feel happy in supporting her. I am thankful and proud of her that she and my Tatay raised us brilliantly and taught us the golden rule. I feel 100-200£/month is not bad. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jakeob]

I arrived here on a fiancee visa (not allowed to work) so my husband used to send money to my family. He sent P10,000 monthly, but when i started working i sent from my own money.

For a year i sent them £400-£500 monthly, because i support my mother, 2 brothers and their family.Most of the people here would probably not do that but i do because i have to.

None of my 6 brothers managed to finish primary school because we cant afford to, so no chance to get a good paying job.They helped me before that's why i managed finished high school, so now its my turn to help.

My husband doesnt mind he just doesnt like me spending almost all of my money to them and not buying anything for my self, but i always ask him "would you rather see me buying endless clothes, bags shoes etc while my family are starving?" My mother have struggle financially all her life, now that i have a chance to make her life a lil better why should'nt i?

I managed to help because we are currently staying with his parents but things would need to change if we have our own place. that's why last april i bought a jeep for my 1st bro and a tricycle for the 2nd so they can start supporting themselves, and be prepared for the time that i cant afford to send anymore.

I'm telling this to show example of a situation, if my family doesnt need help i would'nt even send. You couldnt really give a specific amount to send, it depends on your situation and theirs as well

Hi Tonet,

None of my business but i cant help wonder if you plan to get your own place soon, are you saving between you both to get your own place?

But good on you for sending your own hard earned££

[pennybarry]

:omg:Smooth bubbly soapy asian/western mixes?And Bubbly also?Sounds like the champagne soapy massages I used to have in Pattaya,lets quickly skate over that and get back on the road to how much :icon_lol:(It used to be 1000 baht:Erm:).

You are so imaginative when it comes to oil and soap:omg:
Try powder then:xxgrinning--00xx3: It's dry but also smooth:Rasp:


do you have photos to prove this theory?

because i tried this with my wife when i was washing the car. :icon_lol:

Another man having too much fantasy lol:icon_lol:

Take your car to carwash Born@. For only 10£ you can have soapy wash and good BJ after rinse:D:icon_lol:

[JimOttley]

:icon_lol: all i can do is laugh and not think about pera jim :NoNo:

i use to have money in the bank now i'm living on credit :doh

same situation as you jim, supported my now wife, her aunt, 2 kids to support thru school and uni, and all the emergencies that came along in the last 9yrs i've known the misses.

like you, just this year, me and the misses have paid nearly £1,000 for a caesarean op for my stepsons g/f, now an extra 2 mouths to feed (his g/f and a baby)

also we've had to pay for scans and treatment for the father in law..£100s more.

no one in my misses family has been living the easy life on what we send, we got it down to 20k a month by moving her aunt,stepson and his cousin back to my misses mom on palawan.

but were lucky, my wife is a reg doc in the phils, and hopefully by the end of oct, she will be able to work in the UK as a doc, its taken 4yrs in the uk to get this far because of the :censored: at the GMC. but soon we will look back at all the :censored: we went thru, and just :icon_lol: as it will all be in the past, and we can start living again..

and the problems in the phils were least of my worries compared to the problems i've had in the uk over the last 5yrs. but that's another story :D

good luck jim, i've been there to :xxgrinning--00xx3:


Cheers sir.

Well I'm at the walang pera stage now :) well past living on credit :)

Yes it's only pera and I guess it's the fate of all foreign asawa's (and all OFW's)

I don't resent any of it, I just worry like hell all the time :)

We don't have any family in the provinces although Nanay was originally from Samar and Tatay was from Bohol but the family is very much Manila based and as you know Manila is much more expensive than the provinces, there are times I would like to send a few of them far away into the jungle though.

One nephew got into trouble last year, it wasn't his fault but he had been hanging around near where some other kids were causing trouble and ended up getting a bullet in the backside from an over zealous Barangay officer, the Barangay officer ended up in the jail I think.

I generally find that the boys in the family are a lot more clueless than the girls, the girls have a much greater sense of responsibiliy, but I suppose that is true over here as well these days.

Good luck to you too !



Jim

[JimOttley]

Three words..........."Its only money":icon_lol: you can shave a fortune off the costs,I lived in the mountains without electricity,bit of an adventure but not something that would appeal to me long term,some people have no option,but something Jim said struck a chord because its 110% true "Emergencies never stop":NoNo: Thats fact,and actually looks to get worse as prices and population over there continue to rise,10 years time you will look back with rose-tinted nostalgia at 2009 and remember it as the days you only sent £200 a month back :icon_lol:

Yeah I've been thinking that for a long time, my biggest fears are the declining pound the rising peso and all those really beautiful pregnant Filipino lassies. :)

My partner never looked more beautiful than when she was pregnant but 2 kids were enough for us I finally got the operation last November here in the UK.

Then when I arrived at Christmas we were taking at night and one of our friends had been saying how beautiful our daughter was (she's a right wee Scottish lassie, the spitting image of me, almost nothing of her mother in her at all) and why don't we try for another one :cwm24: then Ana chips in with mahal ko I wish we could have another baby :omg:

Obviously at that point it could have still happened for us as it can take up to 6 months before a vasectomy is fully effective.

Nae wonder there are always problems :)

It's why I love them all though, crazy country :)

[JimOttley]

Hard to live in Pinas that's why we all work together on how we can survive.

My dad was a farmer eversince and they were married early thru kasunduan (marriage arrangement by my grandparents) and had 10 kids but 3 passed away. But they were determined to raise us in good way. They had a goal which is to send us all to uni. They always said, EDUCATION cannot steal. So we tried to be all educated including our nieces and nephews.

There were always agreement, we will not eat too much meat if we want to survive and finish our course as they cannot afford to buy meat for us. We usually had fish and veggies all from farm and we are happy if we killed chicken to eat. I used to take rice +veggies+fish in banana leaves in the Uni where I was studying:D. Whilst my classmates food meat+rice in a decent tupper ware:D and sometimes they just buy from canteen. It served as challenge to me that if we finished studies everything will be alright. My main goal- to finish and help my parents.

When our eldest graduated, she helped my parents, as well as other elder brod and sis. Luckily I'm the 7th so I got more help from other sis and brods.
Almost all of them already finished their course and some nieces and nephews left studying. That is where my hard earned money goes. I am helping my nephew because my sis cannot able to find a job due to her difficulty of hearing and her hubby always help my Nanay in the farm. Her kid is brilliant, he's a Town mayor scholar so I only paid his 1 year sevice bus, and allowance. It is also my pleasure to send money to my Nanay as she did all the best for us. I want to pamper her as much as possible as she is already old and sending her is my happiness. That my goal before so I feel happy in supporting her. I am thankful and proud of her that she and my Tatay raised us brilliantly and taught us the golden rule. I feel 100-200£/month is not bad. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I have the utmost respect for what you say and what your family have gone through to educate the kids, I wish the British were more like that these days, my parents generation had these values but somewhere through the years a lot of that has been lost from British society.


Jim

[joebloggs]

I don't resent any of it, I just worry like hell all the time :)


neither do I,

got my misses thru med school, got her cousin nearly thru uni doing a nursing degree (why help him ? hes a great guy, never had a break in his life, no parents, no family only family is my misses, and he is like a brother to my misses), stepson half way thru uni.

all the visa's are paid for, wife is a british citizen now, stepson has ILR, total cost of visa's was more than £4,000 over the last 5yrs :NoNo:, never mind flights, life in the uk exam etc..

and GMC - exams so my misses can work as a doc , cost me more than £2,500


so i've spend about £6,500 on visa's and exams in the last 5 yrs, that as a brit i have the privilege to pay for, but if i was a european living in the uk and married to my wife it wouldn't have cost me hardly anything.. but thats another story to :D

anyway after more than 4yrs, the :censored: should finally be over for me :Hellooo: :xxgrinning--00xx3:, hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you to soon :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[IainBusby]

Dont feel insulted Matt,its asian culture,totally different from ours,though this system of dependancy looks set to continue for a long time in the future as pinas has a 3% population growth and is reliant on foreign remittances:Erm: Also remember we all live according to our means,we adjust to whatever we have in our accounts or the salary we are earning,the more you send the more they spend :icon_lol:

:appl::appl::appl:

[pennybarry]

I have the utmost respect for what you say and what your family have gone through to educate the kids, I wish the British were more like that these days, my parents generation had these values but somewhere through the years a lot of that has been lost from British society.


Jim

Thanks Jim. I have noticed that here. When I was confined in the hospital 2 weeks ago, I met 5 doctors, 3 of them are asian (chinese, Indian and Pakistani) 1 black and 1 white. I was thinking why many doctors here are foreigners where we have known that British people are wealthy people and can afford to send their kids to uni.

Everynight, we move to other ward because the hospital has shortage of nurse to look after us. I am sure Philippine gov't can help NHS with this since we have hundreds of thousands of nurses. I'm also thinking why british doesn't want to study nursing and medicine so they will have no more job shortage in that skills.

I met a filipina with 12 year old son, she said at 16 she wants her son to marry white. I was shocked why she mentioned that, but asked her why and she said, they can survive even not finished college.:NoNo:

[JimOttley]

I met a filipina with 12 year old son, she said at 16 she wants her son to marry white. I was shocked why she mentioned that, but asked her why and she said, they can survive even not finished college.:NoNo:

Yes that was the old days in ten years time there are going to be a lot of very unhappy thick uneducated british people that are not surviving very well times have changed.

Asia is where the future is I just hope some of the future prosperity of the region rubs off on the Phils this time.

[joebloggs]

Thanks Jim. I have noticed that here. When I was confined in the hospital 2 weeks ago, I met 5 doctors, 3 of them are asian (chinese, Indian and Pakistani) 1 black and 1 white. I was thinking why many doctors here are foreigners where we have known that British people are wealthy people and can afford to send their kids to uni.

the reason you see so many foreign docs is because of pay, a consultant for the NHS can get, upto £100k a year. imagine earning that, when you've been paid in the phils a 1/10 of that. that's why they came and also because of a shortage of English docs at the time, but the gov 5yrs ago, told the med schools to take more students in, now those students are docs, and are competing against foreign docs here, so the gov has made it harder for foreign docs to train as consultants here, as British ones are struggling to find jobs.

[pennybarry]

the reason you see so many foreign docs is because of pay, a consultant for the NHS can get, upto £100k a year. imagine earning that, when you've been paid in the phils a 1/10 of that. that's why they came and also because of a shortage of English docs at the time, but the gov 5yrs ago, told the med schools to take more students in, now those students are docs, and are competing against foreign docs here, so the gov has made it harder for foreign docs to train as consultants here, as British ones are struggling to find jobs.

I see. That will be great! In few years we'll see more and more white doctors.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jimeve]

I see. That will be great! In few years we'll see more and more white doctors.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thats not true penny, theres plenty of British that's colored, just because we are Brits don't mean we are all white.

[joebloggs]

Thats not true penny, theres plenty of British that's colored, just because we are Brits don't mean we are all white.

:D my misses is not white , but a British citizen now :doh
:icon_lol:

thou many are white who go to british med schools, many non white docs (or even some white docs - south african/american/aussie would have come here on HSMP or married a brit).

[pennybarry]

Thats not true penny, theres plenty of British that's colored, just because we are Brits don't mean we are all white.

Oh sorry I should of say
Asian-British
White British
Black British

Like me, filipino british soon :D

[trader dave]

applaud you all the way :appl::appl::appl::appl::appl::appl::appl:

i will just pen a few comparisons between manila and down in cagayan de oro


1 bedroom brand new apartment 6000 php month

water 250 php

electric = air con in bedroom ,even if i am there [more use] 1500 php month

nanny salary she more like an artie to mrs t 1500 php month [she is worth a lot more than that she 40 + and she has raised 6 kids on her own since her husband died a few years back ] SHE NEVER ASKS FOR NOTHING of course we help her out

cable and internet 2000php a big expence but we are online a lot and theres plenty on the tv for mrs T and the boy to watch :Erm::Erm::Erm::NoNo:

off course mrs T is coming to uk soon so we give up the apartment SOON ????:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

GAS BOTTLE i think one lasts about 4 months 500php

i think thats it except food :cwm24:

[trader dave]

the reason you see so many foreign docs is because of pay, a consultant for the NHS can get, upto £100k a year. imagine earning that, when you've been paid in the phils a 1/10 of that. that's why they came and also because of a shortage of English docs at the time, but the gov 5yrs ago, told the med schools to take more students in, now those students are docs, and are competing against foreign docs here, so the gov has made it harder for foreign docs to train as consultants here, as British ones are struggling to find jobs.

many of our top people give up on this place because of over taxation lets face it £40.000.00 just over then you start paying 40% tax i am sorry its a fecking joke we used to welcome those that come from asia and the carribean to work but not know, EUROPEAN UNION :Brick::Brick::Brick::Brick:LETS FACE IT IF I NEEDED CARING FOR :Erm::icon_lol:WHO WOULD I PREFER TO LOOK AFTER ME A PILIPINA NURSE OR A EASTERN EUROPEAN :Erm::Erm: :Erm: no contest

THERE ARE MANY NURSING HOMES now who want pilipina nursing staff off course THIS FECKING GOVERNMENT WONT ALLOW THEM or our rulers from europe :furious3::furious3::furious3:

[trader dave]

Oh sorry I should of say
Asian-British
White British
Black British

Like me, filipino british soon :D


you are then a british passport holder:cwm34: your a pilipina :icon_lol::Erm:

[pennybarry]

you are then a british passport holder:cwm34: your a pilipina :icon_lol::Erm:

Soon I hope Dave. :Rasp::Rasp::Rasp:

[bystander09]

In principal... nothing. Occasional gifts are OK.... This does not extend to buying the brothers a jeepney or tricycle and then being rolled over for the maintenance and new tires etc... :angry:

Your girl will come under family pressure to deliver the goods on a monthly basis. Remember that most Filipino families will look upon you as sort of winning the jackpot..... :angry:

Help only in matters of true emergency sickness etc; and do this by directly paying for hospital/doctor/medication expenses...:Help1:

Keep in mind that people in the Philippines can die of medical problems that we in Europe would never consider life threatening.... :NoNo:

I remember vividly seeing one of our neighbours family financially ruined by the mother contracting kidney disease which required regular dialysis. She died after about 3 years of treatment. The children’s inheritance being consumed by medical expenses.. :bigcry:

bystander

[Tonet]

Hi Tonet,

None of my business but i cant help wonder if you plan to get your own place soon, are you saving between you both to get your own place?

But good on you for sending your own hard earned££


Yeah we are planning to get a place of our own but we are still not sure if we want to stay here in Uk or in Philippines. I stopped sending to my family since i bought them jeep and tricycle so we can save better for our own family.

We didnt decide to stay with my parents-in-law just so i can send to my family, as i mentioned i'm from a big family, our house is full of noise, nosy neighbours and loud kids. It was a big help that at least we are 4 in this house. I never liked silence it makes me crazy, and realize more how far i am from home. It helped me cope with missing my nanay because mum-in-law is just like my nanay.

Im getting used to being here now, i now got friends ,a job that i enjoy and i'm planning to go to Uni, so hopefully in 10 years time:omg::omg::yikes::joke: :joke::joke:we can get a place of our own. We'll get there.

[jimeve]

Oh sorry I should of say
Asian-British
White British
Black British

Like me, filipino british soon :D

like my wife, Filipino- British :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[trader dave]

Soon I hope Dave. :Rasp::Rasp::Rasp:

keep studing if thats where you are at the moment ? life in uk ? best of luck

[dontpushme]

but what would happen if she needed it for an emergency, or she lost her job, was at uni studying, her family were poor, you still wouldn't help :Erm:

if your parents didn't have much would you help them out ? or let them struggle ??

LOL, I actually am at uni. I'm a grad student. I currently am in debt and cannot buy health insurance because that money will have to be given to the hospital and doctors for their services renderd when I had tendinitis that was aggravated by a project that my GIS professor assigned to me. My family is not rich, but we work hard. Things aren't as rosy as they may seem. But I still want to figure this out on my own and I don't want a handout.


Dont feel insulted Matt,its asian culture,totally different from ours,though this system of dependancy looks set to continue for a long time in the future as pinas has a 3% population growth and is reliant on foreign remittances:Erm: Also remember we all live according to our means,we adjust to whatever we have in our accounts or the salary we are earning,the more you send the more they spend :icon_lol:

As much as I'd like to agre with you, the culture in Asia is for family members to help each other, not for families to ask for money from foreigners. Unfortunately, I've also seen the growing number of families that raise their daughters to believe that they are the saviors of the family and must find rich foreigners (this is true even for the native tribes in Bicol).


But lol I'm turned off to kuripots although I don't really ask money.

:icon_lol::rolleyes: Penny, you've just proven that women do like the gifts and the money and wouldn't think as highly of their partners if they were kuripot (stingy/thrifty/frugal).


Both were girls and got degrees,ones never used hers despite her promises to her mum and dad(her mum is dying at the moment,terminal illness)because she got pregnant and married to a guy in Manila,the other one An is working in a call center,computer wizz-kid but well,I learnt a few weeks ago she is also pregnant but cant marry her boyfriend because of religious issues :Erm: But its part of being human,its inbuilt,if your close to someone and see they are lacking you feel the urge to give dont you?(any donations PM me for my account details:xxgrinning--00xx3:).

While it is admirable for those women to be helping their parents, you make it sound like pregnancy was forced on them and they had no control over their circumstances. Condoms are very cheap and are sold everywhere in the Philippines. They could have had better circumstances and better lives had they made the right choice and had protected sex instead of unprotected sex. Yes, Philippine culture dictates that women be demure and chaste and they would've been given dirty looks by a couple people at the 7-Eleven, but was that really worth the decades of extra costs and two more mouths to feed? I myself have had to face strangers with their dirty looks. I have had to use contraceptive pills for years now because of my ovarian cysts. Those people don't have a right to judge me by the products I buy. Sorry, sweetie, a lot of people in the Phlippines have babies to add to their sob story (Try talking to the DSWD folks in CDO who've been trying to convince the beggar lady with seven kids to stop getting pregnant. She refuses and runs away whenever they take her to the center because she says it's a lot easier to earn money by begging and she says she needs the children because people give more money when she has babies.). If you want more information

I know it sounds like I'm lucky and I'm from a wealthy family, but I'm not. I'm from a broken family. I started earning my own money at 7y/o. My siblings did the same. I had my first official job at 13. My salary paid for my expenses. I didn't earn enough to send home to my family. At the time, I was in Manila on a scholarship while my family was in CDO. I hated being away but my mother had begged me to take the scholarship as that was the only way I could afford to go to school. My sister had to leave uni to work so my younger brother could go to school. No, my family isn't rich. At uni, I worked five jobs all at the same time while I was a full-time student. Anywhere I ended up, i found ways to earn money because I still remembered the time when my family couldn't even afford to buy rice (I know you ladies know about eating rice with just soy sauce or salt. we couldn't even afford that). I also found ways to help. I had many friends in the slums in Manila because my high school was across the street from one. And at uni, I catechised at different slums and made friends with the children. Found out that many of them were part of begging syndicates and most of the money they received were taken by the adults that managed them. Before I left for grad school, I lived in Makati. Even the children begging near the Mandarin Oriental are part of syndicates (have you noticed the adults hiding in the bushes beneath the statues at the crosswalks?).

I'm not as lucky as people think, but I was raised to not be part of the problem. As poor as we were, when we did have food, we shared it. Every month when I was young, my dad made it a point to bring us to the orphanage to donate food. And every Christmas, we went and donated clothes and toys. Not that we had too many, but we had more than they did. I still love going to orphanages to spend my time with the children and give them something money can't buy. But I've learned from talking to them and the orphanage directors (in several different provinces) that toys, expecially expensive ones, are sold at school and the money is usually wasted on petty gambling and vices. It's not the directors that do this but the children (they admitted to doing it). Also, I've seen how children pretend they're hungry and thirsty but as soon as they turn the corner, they buy Rugby (a brand of rubber cement) and sniff that (this was in Bicol). I've had children yell at me for giving them food when they wanted money. I've had beggars brag to me about how they had just run away from the center again because the manager wanted them to study and learn crafts, but they preferred to beg and they earn more doing it anyway too. DSWD is understaffed and getting tired of rounding up homeless people every month only to have them run away again so they can beg.

I know this thread is about something else, but from everyone's comments, it doesn't seem like you all have spent enough time to really get to know the people you're "helping". I've been there and done that (heck, I've even dated a guy whose single mother couldn't afford to let him stay in the slum in Baguio with his half-siblings so she gave him to an orphanage).

I guess my point is that attitude is not based on how much money you have but on what values you were taught. I do come from a broken family living paycheck to paycheck. But I wasn't raised to ask for money. I was raised to earn it myself. It's incredibly touching to find genuinely appreciative people (like the boy that used to money he was given to buy food, drinks and flowers). I've loved so many people in the slums and felt that I wanted to take them away from there. But as the saying goes, give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and he eats for a lifetime. Don't send money for every little thing, but find ways to help people learn skills that would help them earn their own money.

I'm not trying to insult anyone, just trying to help you see better.:ARsurrender:

Dang, this is long!

--Denise

[joebloggs]

LOL, I actually am at uni. I'm a grad student. I currently am in debt and cannot buy health insurance because that money will have to be given to the hospital and doctors for their services renderd when I had tendinitis that was aggravated by a project that my GIS professor assigned to me. My family is not rich, but we work hard. Things aren't as rosy as they may seem. But I still want to figure this out on my own and I don't want a handout.


respect to you, but if you had no money, and your family couldn't help you, and you told your b/f this, would you expect him to offer you help ?, even thou you might or would refuse it, its the offering i'm talking about, or would you drop out of uni ??

in my misses case, most of her family live on palawan, her mom and father managed to get all their 4 kids thru uni, no they are not rich, but worked long hours to do it, and they gave up alot to do this. my misses wanted to be a doc since she was a kid, but she never gave up her dream, first the biology degree, then the med degree, all in nearly 10yrs at uni, sure they all took turns to work and help pay for the others to go to uni, but still a big burden for her family. also there is no med school on palwan, so her father and my misses had to move to Laguna to do med there, again sacrifices,also my misses had a son she would have to leave behind on palawan.

heres were i came in, after months of chatting to her, she told me in a panic she would have to quit med school because her sister had not sent the money for her fees, looked like she spent it :doh, and she would go and find a job, i offered her to give her the money, she wouldn't take it, but after days of me offering she said she would see it as a loan, and then i get an email off her mom telling me nicely to :censored:. :icon_lol:. after a week or so her mom finally agreed to it, you might think i was scammed or stupid, i could have walked away many times.. i didn't owe anyone anything. have you ever seen the film 'pay it forward' ? then maybe you'll understand why i did it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[dontpushme]

Hi Joe,

Yes, I did see that film. It was beautiful, and I'm sure my parents taught us to help for the same reasons.:) Even as a child, I've wanted to build an orphanage, a public library and cheap housing. That was how my dad convinced me to stop dragging my feet and come to the US to study. I had a job that I gave up to go back to school, and I don't regret it. I can't pay back the people that gave me scholarships, but know I'll be able to help others someday. It's something that still inspires me when I'm ready to give up on my thesis.

I commend your missus for working so hard to be a doctor. I don't think she scammed you. Honestly, women don't always tell you problems so you can offer to help. A lot of the time, all we need is someone to listen and commiserate with us. I have no doubt that with as much as her family's done in the past to solve similar problems, they would have found a way without your help. And that kinda brings me to pride, which could be the reason her mother told you to :censored: off. In the Philippines, women with foreign bfs or husbands are seen both as a source of much needed money and as cheap tramps (yes, there's that double standard). In the long run, though, I'm sure they'll appreciate your help. But don't make a habit of offering money at the first sign of tears. First offer your moral and emotional support. All that money being offered with every sob story only encourages scammers and golddiggers. They may have had a hard life before you came along, but they became stronger for it. And they did it without any help from outsiders.

To answer your question, If I REALLY had no choice, I'd have accepted Matt's help but dragged my feet doing it. And I'd have paid him back as soon as I could. Haha! My family's not supporting me right now and I'm still trying to get my former insurance company to pay for the medical costs (the scammers!). But I've already found two more sources of income in the last week. I'm no stranger to doing jobs that noone else wants, and I don't mind scrimping for a long time. It just makes my achievements that much sweeter.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

THERE ARE MANY NURSING HOMES now who want pilipina nursing staff off course THIS FECKING GOVERNMENT WONT ALLOW THEM or our rulers from europe :furious3::furious3::furious3:

i think if you go to nursing homes now, you will find just as many brits working in there as non brits, my moms in a residential home, and there are a few filipina's who work in there, but to be honest it seems to me, the brits care just as much as the filipinas, maybe because they have to pay at least the minimum wage their getting a better calibre of person :rolleyes:

i agree with you about our masters in Europe, how long will it be before a country pulls out of the union ??

[joebloggs]

Hi Joe,

Yes, I did see that film. It was beautiful, and I'm sure my parents taught us to help for the same reasons.:)

. And that kinda brings me to pride, which could be the reason her mother told you to :censored: off.

To answer your question, If I REALLY had no choice, I'd have accepted Matt's help but dragged my feet doing it. And I'd have paid him back as soon as I could. Haha!


i know my misses mom told me to :censored: because of pride, but faced with the reality of her daughter not going to uni for another year, wasting a year, im sure you being at uni can understand that. she didn't have a choice really.


then you would accept his help, so your just the same as many of us on here :D, i don't send people money to buy plasma tvs or cars, what i send is enough for them to get by, i've got my own kids here and i have to balance the spending of both families.

good luck with your studies :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

In principal... nothing. Occasional gifts are OK.... This does not extend to buying the brothers a jeepney or tricycle and then being rolled over for the maintenance and new tires etc... :angry:

Your girl will come under family pressure to deliver the goods on a monthly basis. Remember that most Filipino families will look upon you as sort of winning the jackpot..... :angry:

Help only in matters of true emergency sickness etc; and do this by directly paying for hospital/doctor/medication expenses...:Help1:

Keep in mind that people in the Philippines can die of medical problems that we in Europe would never consider life threatening.... :NoNo:

I remember vividly seeing one of our neighbours family financially ruined by the mother contracting kidney disease which required regular dialysis. She died after about 3 years of treatment. The children’s inheritance being consumed by medical expenses.. :bigcry:

bystander

If I have a fortune or savings money, I will not hesitate to buy jeepney or tricycle. Rather than sending money as I believe in Don't give fish but give them fishnet to get fish:D

I was just lucky I'm almost the youngest in the family and brod and sis are more stable than me. We got only one sister that we help sometimes due to her disability.

I'm also thankful that not because I send money to my Nanay, is she spends it all. I was surprised she has bank passbook and save the rest.

I also agree in emergency needs, that's why we filipinas are always saving for emergency reasons. This was taught by us when we attended CFO seminars and also a common sense to us.

Some lucky children gets inheritance from parents, and it is our culture that we can give up some properties to sell if parents is ill and no helps comes from their children. But usually, we children are working together and help each other to save our parents from illness.

[dontpushme]

i know my misses mom told me to :censored: because of pride, but faced with the reality of her daughter not going to uni for another year, wasting a year, im sure you being at uni can understand that. she didn't have a choice really.

There's nothing wrong with not going to uni to work for tuition. That's what my sister had to do to help support my brother and save up for her own fees. She says she doesn't regret it at all.


then you would accept his help, so your just the same as many of us on here :D, i don't send people money to buy plasma tvs or cars, what i send is enough for them to get by, i've got my own kids here and i have to balance the spending of both families.

The next sentence stated I would pay him back. I really don't want a handout. If I can't earn the money myself at the time, then I'd borrow it. If I can't borrow it, I'd stop studying for however long it takes to earn the money I need. I already have skills in different fields and have no problem finding work. The trick really is doing what others won't or can't do.


good luck with your studies :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks!:)


I'm also thankful that not because I send money to my Nanay, is she spends it all. I was surprised she has bank passbook and save the rest.

You are lucky. She's got a good head on her shoulders.

[Arturo]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

Is it part a "pre-nuptual"?

Meaning no disrespect to your mrs, but sending money to the family seems a bit much. I can understand helping in an emergency, sending money at Christmas etc., is a family thing. Expectation that the rich guy in the UK is now the family bank account, is a big responsibility to continue. There may be a time when you cannot send any... then they and you are in deep du du.
I suppose if you feel obligated to help. do it as a gift and vary the amount and frequency of "issue".

I may have the wrong perspective on this. My Ella has a good job and her brothers both have jobs and Nanay is 73 and still working!

I was with the family about 8 weeks ago... they were spening money on me!

[IainBusby]

Is it part a "pre-nuptual"?

Meaning no disrespect to your mrs, but sending money to the family seems a bit much. I can understand helping in an emergency, sending money at Christmas etc., is a family thing. Expectation that the rich guy in the UK is now the family bank account, is a big responsibility to continue. There may be a time when you cannot send any... then they and you are in deep du du.
I suppose if you feel obligated to help. do it as a gift and vary the amount and frequency of "issue".

I may have the wrong perspective on this. My Ella has a good job and her brothers both have jobs and Nanay is 73 and still working!

I was with the family about 8 weeks ago... they were spening money on me!

Well said that man!

[dontpushme]

Meaning no disrespect to your mrs, but sending money to the family seems a bit much. I can understand helping in an emergency, sending money at Christmas etc., is a family thing. Expectation that the rich guy in the UK is now the family bank account, is a big responsibility to continue. There may be a time when you cannot send any... then they and you are in deep du du.
I suppose if you feel obligated to help. do it as a gift and vary the amount and frequency of "issue".

I may have the wrong perspective on this. My Ella has a good job and her brothers both have jobs and Nanay is 73 and still working!

I was with the family about 8 weeks ago... they were spening money on me!

Sorry, but a lot of guys here seem to feel the need to spend on their ladies and the extended families. You're seem very practical and rational, and it sounds like you're one of the lucky ones that isn't being milked. Congratulations! She's a keeper!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

[QUOTE=You are lucky. She's got a good head on her shoulders.[/QUOTE]

Thanks don'tpush:)

Actually she's still working at 82. She loves to plant veggies and villagers buy veggies from us. The one bothers her is her hundreds of chickens, ducks and few pigs that needs to feed. Feeds cost a fortune and income is not that big. Sometimes it's only break even:doh But my Nanay loves to hatch more and more cheeks/eggs:bigcry: :D Farming in Pinas is not earning too much, I must say. But we are lucky we don't buy rice and veggies which is a big help.

[Northerner]

Thanks don'tpush:)

Actually she's still working at 82. She loves to plant veggies and villagers buy veggies from us. The one bothers her is her hundreds of chickens, ducks and few pigs that needs to feed. Feeds cost a fortune and income is not that big. Sometimes it's only break even:doh But my Nanay loves to hatch more and more cheeks/eggs:bigcry: :D Farming in Pinas is not earning too much, I must say. But we are lucky we don't buy rice and veggies which is a big help.

The Philippines sounds more and more like a place that will strike me one way or another:rolleyes:

[Tawi2]

Dontpushme,I dont make it seem as if both girls were forced into pregnancy,I know condoms are cheap,but the religion and the family culture there are such that birth control is frowned upon and big early families are the norm :xxgrinning--00xx3: Its part of pinoy culture,like it or not,that a pinay marrying a westerner is cause for celebration in a family,put it this way,I have attended a few mixed marriage weddings in Pinas and never once saw the brides mother frowning,quite the reverse,and it is expected that money wings its way from west to east,that has been docimented so often its not just a myth,its part and parcel of the relationship,its the trade off,I met an american in his 70's :icon_lol:Yup he was an septuagenarian with a "Fiancee" in her early 20's,thats the most extreme but I have seen lots of age chasms like that,is it for love or £££,of course its for the money going back to pinas,they even coined a phrase for it,the 4 M's :icon_lol: I understand a bit of asian culture,I lived there for years,I know asian families help each other,but I also know why young women sacrifice themselves for the good of the family :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

There's nothing wrong with not going to uni to work for tuition. That's what my sister had to do to help support my brother and save up for her own fees. She says she doesn't regret it at all.


that's what my misses brothers and sister did to get thru uni, but that's the reason why she did not pass the board exam until she was 34 !!, 10 years at uni , the rest was working to try and help pay her way :doh and still not working as a doc in the UK after being here 4 1/2yrs :doh

hopefully be end of oct

[Northerner]

they even coined a phrase for it,the 4 M's :icon_lol:

:Erm: Is that like the three C's?

:cheeky-smiley-024:

[Tawi2]

Matandang mayaman madaling mamatay :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jimeve]

Matandang mayaman madaling mamatay :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I thought it was me me me me.:rolleyes:

[Tawi2]

:icon_lol: That as well :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Northerner]

Matandang mayaman madaling mamatay :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:Erm: Google didn't help... Could you translate for me :rolleyes: Don't fancy asking Rizza what it means :)

[Tawi2]

:Erm: Google didn't help... Could you translate for me :rolleyes: Don't fancy asking Rizza what it means :)

I thought you didnt trust my translations :icon_lol::Rasp: Basically means marry an old rich guy who (hopefully) will die quickly,usually reserved for very young pinays who marry verl old puti :icon_lol:

[Northerner]

I thought you didnt trust my translations :icon_lol::Rasp: Basically means marry an old rich guy who (hopefully) will die quickly,usually reserved for very young pinays who marry verl old puti :icon_lol:

Aaaaahh.. Well at 32, should have a good few years in me yet :icon_lol:

As for your translations, I trust them.. I just don't trust what yu want me to ask the taxi drivers :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[dontpushme]

Dontpushme,I dont make it seem as if both girls were forced into pregnancy,I know condoms are cheap,but the religion and the family culture there are such that birth control is frowned upon and big early families are the norm :xxgrinning--00xx3: Its part of pinoy culture,like it or not,that a pinay marrying a westerner is cause for celebration in a family,put it this way,I have attended a few mixed marriage weddings in Pinas and never once saw the brides mother frowning,quite the reverse,and it is expected that money wings its way from west to east,that has been docimented so often its not just a myth,its part and parcel of the relationship,its the trade off,I met an american in his 70's :icon_lol:Yup he was an septuagenarian with a "Fiancee" in her early 20's,thats the most extreme but I have seen lots of age chasms like that,is it for love or £££,of course its for the money going back to pinas,they even coined a phrase for it,the 4 M's :icon_lol: I understand a bit of asian culture,I lived there for years,I know asian families help each other,but I also know why young women sacrifice themselves for the good of the family :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:D You have a point about mothers not frowning when "rich" white men marry their daughter. But that doesn't mean it's the same in all parts of the country or in all social classes. It's not cultural but more of a trend (seeing as the Philippnies isn't getting any richer). The thing is, the people you come in contact with are the ones that like the influx of £££, while the ones that don't like the gaping age gap and the cheap reputation of the brides most likely avoid you. Also, Filipinos are very good at beating around the bush, smiling to hide disgust, etc. I really didn't know much about so-called child brides until I went to live in CDO and heard people backstabbing the young women and their older husbands. Filipinos don't like face-to-face confrontations, which made me learn to tread lightly as I didn't want to be the subject of backstabbing myself (didn't work).


The Philippines sounds more and more like a place that will strike me one way or another:rolleyes:

:icon_lol:Don't worry. Honestly, no matter what anyone says or does, it's all ultimately your choice and your business.


that's what my misses brothers and sister did to get thru uni, but that's the reason why she did not pass the board exam until she was 34 !!, 10 years at uni , the rest was working to try and help pay her way :doh and still not working as a doc in the UK after being here 4 1/2yrs :doh hopefully be end of oct

:omg:Ouch! That's a really long time to be there and still not be able to make full use of her skills. Sorry to hear about it.


Thanks don'tpush:)

Actually she's still working at 82. She loves to plant veggies and villagers buy veggies from us. The one bothers her is her hundreds of chickens, ducks and few pigs that needs to feed. Feeds cost a fortune and income is not that big. Sometimes it's only break even:doh But my Nanay loves to hatch more and more cheeks/eggs:bigcry: :D Farming in Pinas is not earning too much, I must say. But we are lucky we don't buy rice and veggies which is a big help.

My granddad is the same way. He's 83 and still won't stop working. My uncles tried to make him retire and rest a few years ago, but after a month of being idle, he insisted on going back to what he was used to. Umm, regarding the feed, what do you use the animals for? Do you sell them at the palengke? Maybe you can try other options. My aunt's husband feeds his pigs stale bread and snack cakes. Of course, those are just to add to the expensive feed (you're right about the cost).


I thought you didnt trust my translations :icon_lol::Rasp: Basically means marry an old rich guy who (hopefully) will die quickly,usually reserved for very young pinays who marry verl old puti :icon_lol:

:icon_lol: I think another way of saying it would be "old, rich and decrepit". :Cuckoo:

[pennybarry]

I understand a bit of asian culture,I lived there for years,I know asian families help each other,but I also know why young women sacrifice themselves for the good of the family :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks for the understanding Tawi:xxgrinning--00xx3: If you love somebody, you are willing to sacrife:D but you need to balance every situation if you are already married.


:D
My granddad is the same way. He's 83 and still won't stop working. My uncles tried to make him retire and rest a few years ago, but after a month of being idle, he insisted on going back to what he was used to. Umm, regarding the feed, what do you use the animals for? Do you sell them at the palengke? Maybe you can try other options. My aunt's husband feeds his pigs stale bread and snack cakes. Of course, those are just to add to the expensive feed (you're right about the cost).

:Cuckoo:

No problem about the pig's feed, as pig eats anything. Rotten fruits, left over food etc:D:icon_lol:

Chicken feeds cost a fortune. A sack of that feed cost more than 1000+ pesos. And chicken don't stop pecking:omg::action-smiley-081:

We don't sell at market, we have lots of suki from the village. We only sell Kangkong in the market as we have loads of it.

[Tawi2]

Dontpushme,I speak a little of the language,visayan and tagalog,just enough to understand and your right,they do backbite kids who marry old western guys,but the same women who gossip wouldnt stop their daughters marrying westerners I am sure,as their tsismis is jealousy related :icon_lol: I liked your hypothesis that pinays with money would avoid me,yet those without would marry me :Erm:Totally wrong :icon_lol:My sons mum's family have a beach resort,Korean language school(used to be their hotel),and a four story house with swimming pool on the roof,I was there earlier this year when a politician landed his helicopter on the beach to visit the uncle who has a lot of influence.My current lady friend?Lets just say I always liked brains coupled with beauty,she has a very good job with World Bank and also does consultancy projects,worked with GMA before Gloria became president,assumptions are often wrong,its nothing whatsoever to do with money,its a little concept called love,as for gaping age gap I am the right side of 50 and wouldnt countenance a woman more than 5 years younger :icon_lol:I am attracted to women with a surfeit of brains to compensate my deficit,but pinas does have a dependency culture,thats documented fact and having been there 50-60 times and lived in different social circumstances and moved in circles at opposing ends of the social spectrum I have seen it for myself,the country after all survives on remittances,and not everyone of those is wired to pinas from an OFW,a decent amount is from ladies married to westerners.:icon_lol:I am interested in which geographic area you hint at which decries mixed marriages as I have many friends married to women from top to bottom of pinas.

[dontpushme]

LOL, maybe avoid isn't the right word, but they wouldn't sniff you out either. i do have a lot of friends (in different places) that have asked me to find them foreigners to date, but the word breeding comes to mind with these people. i like them as far as friendship goes, but there are just some things i wouldn't do. i know it sounds bad considering i don't have as much money as i'm sure the other ladies here have, but i'm proud of the fact that i earn it myself, piddling as it may be.

you're right on one thing, and that's that a lot of the gossip is jealousy related, but there are also people that just feel that it's cheap to keep getting money from someone you're not related to. i may have had no money growing up, but i have to admit that my dad grew up in one of the most expensive places in the philippines, and he's the one that taught me what was unacceptable in that kind of company. it's okay to marry a foreigner, but to marry the guy because you fell in love with the way he always sent you money and rescued you from problems that would have made you stronger if you'd overcome them yourself is not.

i don't want to name places as i'm sure hometown loyalty would ensure i'd be offending people (more) if i did that. i honestly wouldn't care where your lady is from (i'm assuming Tawi-tawi, LOL). in fact, i'd say more power to her family and you guys. but i can't change the opinions i have or the opinions of the people in the area i will ultimately go home to. of course, that place is also full of foreigners, but their wives are moneyed too. i guess you could say i'm poor but am expected to have the same opinions and values as the people on the other side of the tracks. you could say i'm wrong and it's right to look for foreigners on dating websites and give sob stories left and right in the hopes that the foreigner would protect you and save you and be your knight in shining armour, but i could also say the opposite is true. where's the character growth in begging for remittances (in the beat-around-the-bush way that pinoys and pinays grow up doing)? i'm not jealous of anyone (if anyone ever offered me money, i'd get pretty mad), but i do feel bad that, like butterflies helped out of their cocoons, there are women who decide they don't want to spread their wings and fly on their own.

the philippines does survive on remittances, i'd admit that. but remittances don't teach people to take care of their resources to ensure a better future for their kids. (incidentally, i'm a big nerd hellbent on gaining as much knowledge as i can so i can someday fix our rainforests and oceans, and maybe have my dream orphanage and hopefully a scholarship foundation).

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: Every time I post on this forum, I half expect to see -1000 rep power. What's wrong with you people? Where are my red blobs?:Hellooo:

[Tawi2]

Assumption is the mother of all f***-ups,i never dated a lady from Tawi-tawi,but I did spend a lot of time down there :xxgrinning--00xx3: They might have sniffed me out actually,its always something decent like armani,and my sons mother and mothers son did indeed have breeding :xxgrinning--00xx3: You dont choose your potential life partner like that,though thats how I would buy horse-flesh if I was looking for stock,humans cant help falling for each other,its called animal attraction :xxgrinning--00xx3:Name the places............:Erm:

[Tawi2]

As for the pinoy remittance culture,well,its not getting better,its actually getting worse as the remittances increase year upon year,the country has a population growth of 3% I truthfully predict times will get much worse before they get better(if ever),but one thing,not all of us have met dirt poor pinays :xxgrinning--00xx3: We dont all sail in the same boat :xxgrinning--00xx3:But money to me means absolutely nothing,I have been very affluent and extremely skint,I never judge people by what they do or dont have,thats poor breeding in itself.

[dontpushme]

Name the places............:Erm:

LOL! I can't! I've lived in some of them and I'm almost sure some people here know my mom's family (she grew up in one of those places).:icon_lol: My maternal grandparents saw Matt on webcam when we were still just friends that had met on Facebook, and my grandma's first reaction was "ask him if he's related to anyone older for you":NoNo:. That attitude got me a lotta whuppings when I was younger and insisted i didn't want to get married, let alone to some old, rich and decrepit foreigner (my grandma insisted white skin would improve my race... when did i become some dog to breed?).


As for the pinoy remittance culture,well,its not getting better,its actually getting worse as the remittances increase year upon year,the country has a population growth of 3% I truthfully predict times will get much worse before they get better(if ever),but one thing,not all of us have met dirt poor pinays :xxgrinning--00xx3: We dont all sail in the same boat :xxgrinning--00xx3:But money to me means absolutely nothing,I have been very affluent and extremely skint,I never judge people by what they do or dont have,thats poor breeding in itself.

I don't judge people on whether they do or don't have money. It isn't money I'm concerned about, but character. You say the remittance culture is getting worse. That doesn't mean that Filipinos are surviving on their own. It just means my country is getting increasingly dependent on foreigners. Sure, we're smart, beautiful, talented and hard-working people, but the moment someone foreign (therefore "rich") comes along, it's back to the old attitude of "oh, he can afford it" and what does that teach the next generation?

Like I said, it's not the pinay-foreigner thing that bothers me. It's the kind of character that the attitude of "my man can afford to send Dodong, Boy, Third, Fourth, Girlie, Bok, and Jojo to school, and pay for our new roof and Nanay's bills" teaches. All these kids work had while they're in school and may have ambitions of their own, but when they're adults, they think it's easier to just find a foreigner to date and marry who will support them and their extended family "just like Tita's second husband does". Of course, their degrees and skills make them more desirable to the foreigners, but what happens to the skills and talents when these brides become just housewives? I commend the ladies who still work even after marrying foreigners.

I'm sorry, but sending so much money really isn't helping in the long run. If you really want to help, teach my people to protect our seas for tourism instead of using cyanide to get tropical fish from our reefs for fish tanks in the Western world, slowly killing the corals and sea grass that the fish depend on. Teach my people to preserve the rainforests and have tourists come in to see how high our trees can grow and how beautiful the rainforests are. Teach my people that mining may bring money in but it destroys the forests above the ground, endangering whole communities during annual typhoons. Set up scholarship foundations to teach children that education can be free, but you have to work hard. Teach them that education can take them anywhere in the world to build a better future for their families. That's still all foreign money coming in to the Philippines, but it helps instead of crippling the country.:Help1:

:ARsurrender:I'm not here to try and hurt people's feelings, but like I said before, I'm trying to help you see better.

And Tawi, I hope for the sake of my people that your prediction doesn't come true.:bigcry:

LOL, you're making me all emotional and now I've got a lump in my throat.:cwm34:

[Tawi2]

They arent my predictions,they are the predictions of economists,pinas population will double in 30 years,it struggles to sustain its current population and couldnt actually do so without the cash flooding in from abroad,globalisation is changing the face of the world,when I lived in Hong Kong I remember talk of the Tiger economies,pinas was never one of them due to graft corruption etc,thats one of the reasons I am not one of those guys who say "I will retire in the Philippines" :NoNo: ask your average westerner his impressions of Pinas,what does he think or what can he tell you about the place and its people,most know very little but what they do say is eye opening,its mainly corruption,beaches,and internet brides,I asked a few guys the other week and thats their perceptions.not the peoples fault,just the leaders :NoNo:

[jimeve]

I'm sorry, but sending so much money really isn't helping in the long run. If you really want to help, teach my people to protect our seas for tourism instead of using cyanide to get tropical fish from our reefs for fish tanks in the Western world, slowly killing the corals and see grass that the fish depend on. Teach my people to preserve the rainforests and have tourists c


LOL, you're making me all emotional and now I've got a lump in my throat.:cwm34:

The Philippines in big trouble of loosing its main source of protein, if it doesn't change very very quickly. they need a massive project sustainable aquaculture , and a marine conservation. stop the destruction of coral reefs. they are killing them self's and Innocent people:ARsurrender:.

[dontpushme]

ask your average westerner his impressions of Pinas,what does he think or what can he tell you about the place and its epople,most know very little but what they do say is eye opening,its mainly corruption,beaches,and internet brides,I asked a few guys the other week and thats their perceptions.Mot the peoples fault,just the leaders :NoNo:

I was hanging out with my granddad's maid when I asked her why she had so many brothers and sisters (12 siblings). She said that the attitude in her hometown was that the more kids you have, the more hands there will be to help at the farm (what about more mouths to feed then?). She's a smart girl but only finished the 9th grade. My granddad insists we should all talk to her in English because he wants to send her to school but she's ashamed of her lack of English proficiency. She says one of her younger sisters is really smart and she got accelerated to the next grade. I got excited and said her sister should apply for a scholarship. Her reply was that government scholarships don't go to the deserving in her area. They go to the ones who support the politician in charge. And private foundations are practically nonexistent there. She asked me instead to find her a foreign husband so she can send money to her family. :(

You're right, politicians do make it harder for those with talent and potential to actually be productive. But if more people worked against the politicians, then the masses would have a chance. Sending more money only adds to the stash that eventually ends up in those same politicans' pockets.

:doh Eep! I know this is a thread on how much money to send, and it's morphed and been hijacked. Sorry!:icon_lol:

[Tawi2]

85% of the Philippines reefs have been destroyed in the last 30 years Jim,through blast fishing,cyanide fishing and other indescriminate harvesting methods,their tourism figures cant stand alongside the likes of Thailand because the Thais understand that tourists are the geese that lay the golden eggs and make provision for that,pinas mindset is always live for today thats obviouse whether your booking into a hotel,dealing with beaurocracy,or whatever,I did a check on pinas tourists years ago,the majority were balikbayans or partners,very few genuine tourists as such,but thats a different thread methinks :icon_lol:

[lizaphil]

Can anyone advise me on how much money would mr average send home to the phils each month, to support the family??? After the wife arrives and lives in the uk.

Sorry if this is an old question, i searched and couldnt find anything. But seems an important consideration.

Thanks
neil

hi neil
how long your wife here in the uk?
because if her visa is settlement she should be working and she should be helping you. to send money to her family,:NoNo::NoNo:
because my hubby never help me to give to my family i am the one to help theme,or send to my family because i understand my hubby paying everything here and i know how expensive to live here in uk,not like in the Philippines everything cheap
so if your wife wanted to support her family she should go to work because
here we are working hard to get money...well me i send my son every month
but for my family just for emergency
needs
:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jimeve]

85% of the Philippines reefs have been destroyed in the last 30 years Jim,through blast fishing,cyanide fishing and other indescriminate harvesting methods,their tourism figures cant stand alongside the likes of Thailand because the Thais understand that tourists are the geese that lay the golden eggs and make provision for that,pinas mindset is always live for today thats obviouse whether your booking into a hotel,dealing with beaurocracy,or whatever,I did a check on pinas tourists years ago,the majority were balikbayans or partners,very few genuine tourists as such,but thats a different thread methinks :icon_lol:

Not interested in tourist Del, destroy the reefs, the whole marine life is finished. NO FISH.

Poor fishermen, poor hungry Pinoys, we have both seen it over there.

[Tawi2]

Thats true enough Jim,when Robson Green went on his extreme fishing venture the one country he actually struggled to land anything of an appreciable size was pinas,I have seen hundreds of yards of Gill nets strung out just off beaches,its being raped but how do you educate someone with 10 kids who needs to send them to school that he should use a larger mesh size of fish a little further offshore to give the fish a chance,he isnt interested in sporting chances or sustainable fishing,he wants cash in his pocket today,sad fact of life but thats the way it is :NoNo: Their meshes are tiny,they are using trammel nets with multiple pockets so everything and anything is caught,I have even known guys catch dolphins and sell them,the first time I went just off Dumaguete about 20 years ago there were huge pods of spinner Dolphin,not so many nowadays,everyone relies on the sea but no ones taking care of the ecology,its live for today syndrome.

[dontpushme]

It's that way in most of the country. We have dying, bleached coral reefs, smaller fish, less money to buy food with, and people using more and more desperate means of catching something, anything, that will feed their families.

But it doesn't have to be that way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apo_Island
http://www.apoisland.com/apoisland-history
http://www.dumagueteinfo.com/apo-island-pictures.php

Aaanyway, where does a thread on this topic go? Is it the Culture and Food section? But that's mostly food. Is there even a place for this on the forum? I hope there is.

[jimeve]

It's that way in most of the country. We have dying, bleached coral reefs, smaller fish, less money to buy food with, and people using more and more desperate means of catching something, anything, that will feed their families.

But it doesn't have to be that way.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apo_Island
http://www.apoisland.com/apoisland-history
http://www.dumagueteinfo.com/apo-island-pictures.php

Aaanyway, where does a thread on this topic go? Is it the Culture and Food section? But that's mostly food. Is there even a place for this on the forum? I hope there is.

My favorite island, apo island, there is also a fish sanctuary at Dauin opposite Apo island, beautiful place.

[dontpushme]

My favorite island, apo island, there is also a fish sanctuary at Dauin opposite Apo island, beautiful place.

Wouldn't it be great to see that kind of community everywhere in the Philippines?

[Tawi2]

Wouldn't it be great to see that kind of community everywhere in the Philippines?

Wishful thinking but its not going to happen with a mushrooming population,just being realistic here,Jim theres also a sanctuary albeit small over on DGTE thanks to the influence of the DENR.:xxgrinning--00xx3:Apo is great but its one pearl in a million oysters.

[bystander09]

If I have a fortune or savings money, I will not hesitate to buy jeepney or tricycle. Rather than sending money as I believe in Don't give fish but give them fishnet to get fish:D

I was just lucky I'm almost the youngest in the family and brod and sis are more stable than me. We got only one sister that we help sometimes due to her disability.

I'm also thankful that not because I send money to my Nanay, is she spends it all. I was surprised she has bank passbook and save the rest.

I also agree in emergency needs, that's why we filipinas are always saving for emergency reasons. This was taught by us when we attended CFO seminars and also a common sense to us.

Some lucky children gets inheritance from parents, and it is our culture that we can give up some properties to sell if parents is ill and no helps comes from their children. But usually, we children are working together and help each other to save our parents from illness.


Buy a jeepney or tricycle etc if you are resident in the Philippines and can manage it or them on a day to day basis. The only way to make money here is that if you are the owner driver; do not have to pay daily boundary, and have a decent route. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

bystander

[dontpushme]

And if you don't break any traffic laws (breaking any usually results in the jeepney/tricycle driver bribing the traffic cops). Otherwise, you'll be on some people's list of go-to folks for whenever they need to buy stuff.:NoNo: