what would you do?

[maria_and_matt]

a very good friend of mine (she's filipina), has been married to her british husband for about 4 years now. the hubby has cheated on her before they got married and recently went to thailand and had a sexual encounter with a filipina ex there. i have told time my friend time and time again that she should leave him. she told me she can't coz shes catholic and her parents will disapprove. i have her here in my home often crying her eyes out, to be perfectly honest i am so sick of it. why put up with a man that don't treat you right. i really have no patience to sit here and listen to her, it gets me so down.

if you were me, what would you say and do?

[bornatbirth]

tell her to empty his bank account and go and meet another guy!,howcome hes going on holiday to meet this women?

but she should leave him,why would you put up with him because shes catholic he can do it over ans over again?

[Matt7]

We'll he's obviously treating her like a possession and as though she owes him something, why put yourself through that?

A personal rule is if a girl ever cheats on me the relationship ends, if she has any self respect she'd follow

[Sun Shine]

I'd just try and tell her to leave him otherwise he will keep doing it and make her miserable, yes she's catholic, but surely her family want her to be happy. She cant let herself be brought down by him, if she stays with him, he'll just keep doing it all the more because she lets him.

[maria_and_matt]

tell her to empty his bank account and go and meet another guy!,howcome hes going on holiday to meet this women?

but she should leave him,why would you put up with him because shes catholic he can do it over ans over again?

he's done it about 3x now, he goes off to thailand on 'business', will i be so mean if i tell her i do not want to know anymore? this **** has been going on for too long and i am sick and tired of telling her the same thing LEAVE HIM:bigcry:

[Tawi2]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed :) Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is :Erm: Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100% :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[maria_and_matt]

I'd just try and tell her to leave him otherwise he will keep doing it and make her miserable, yes she's catholic, but surely her family want her to be happy. She cant let herself be brought down by him, if she stays with him, he'll just keep doing it all the more because she lets him.

i told her that already, i was in the same situation with my ex hubby, we are catholics too, and i found it so hard to tell my parents i was getting a divorce. but when my father heard about what was going with my marriage then he told me to go ahead with the divorce, i had his support 101%.
i told her her folks would understand. and to do what is best for her. i am so sick of this already ... grrrr

[Matt7]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed :) Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is :Erm: Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100% :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Vets do a valuable job for society?

Cats are inherently evil?

[maria_and_matt]

My brother had an old mangy tom-cat,always wandering around the neighbourhood making a noise and producing kittens,he took it to the vets,got it castrated,it put on weight,always stayed at home,and was a lot healthier once its sexual nocturnal perambulations were curtailed :) Theres a moral to that story but I cant actually remember what it is :Erm: Tell her to buy 25kg sacks of Depo-Provera,add it to her cooking,its going to work 100% :xxgrinning--00xx3:

ahhhhh,,, words of wisdom from tawi2... i knew i could rely on you:icon_lol:

[bornatbirth]

im not sure if you should tell her that your fed up listening to her about it,but if she stays with him he will keep doing it.

if she wont leave him,tell her to do the same cheat on him!

and make yourself to busy to see her :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[maria_and_matt]

im not sure if you should tell her that your fed up listening to her about it,but if she stays with him he will keep doing it.

if she wont leave him,tell her to do the same cheat on him!

and make yourself to busy to see her :xxgrinning--00xx3:


:icon_lol::icon_lol: problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline:icon_lol::icon_lol: maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off:icon_lol:

[acs]

Sad to hear your friend is experiencing that heartache over her husband, but if she has her ilr or citizenship already never mind the husband leave him:xxgrinning--00xx3:, even if she's catholic (we are raised to uphold marriage) if so much pain and suffering is what she's experiencing now better to move on early. It would be difficult specially if children were also involved but have their dad support them financially. And the best remedy she must find some work so that she have means to support herself. And most of all Pray. Na sana kabagan yang asawa nya at ng matauhan.:D:Hellooo:

[Tawi2]

This is a sad fact of life but true,anyone who wants to say "No way,thats crap" please feel free to chip in,its just been my observation over the years,your experiences might be different...Buttttt some guys marry pinays,or Thais,and date only those submissive(or so its percieved in the west)oriental types because they know they can use,abuse,and cast them away and still they run back for more(or so it seems to Mr Ego)he probably doesnt look like Brad Pitt(maybe Brads Arm-Pitt)but is using her character weakness or dependancy or submissive demeanour and having his cake and eating it,loads of those types of guy around,he wont stop unless she gives him a wake-up call,if she doesnt she is setting herself up for a lifetime of mental anguish every time he goes away on a (monkey)business trip :ARsurrender:

[bornatbirth]

:icon_lol::icon_lol: problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline:icon_lol::icon_lol: maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off:icon_lol:

i guess your stuck with her? :icon_lol::icon_lol: you could always move home if she bothers you that much or get a much bigger dog! :icon_lol:

[bornatbirth]

tell her to leave him so when he comes home,shes gone!

[acs]

And miss maria, you must be the only person she can pour all her heartaches now, but sometimes too much lecturing will not get to nowhere kaya, how about asking her... so what steps are you going to do now? let her be the one to answer those so that she herself can sort out her problem. Sana po you will not turn her away or hide form her...We are in a far away land and your the only one she can count on sometimes telling others what we feel lightens our burden and guides us... Pero talaga po baka kayo lang ang kaibigan niya :Hellooo:

[Sophie]

:icon_lol::icon_lol: problem is she knows i dont work, she knows my mobile number and landline:icon_lol::icon_lol: maybe i should have my line cut off and switch my mobile off:icon_lol:

But she knows where you live, so she can always pop up anytime without a warning if you cut your landline and celphone off, lol :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:

But seriously, i think you should tell her straight that her crying all the time over her cheating husband is getting tiring already
because she's not really doing something about it and she's not taking your advise as well to move on
and stop feeling sorry for herself and wallow in self pity, she has a choice, and she should be smart about it.....

[Tawi2]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity,Hard times beget hard measures,tell her to get herself a boyfriend,good for the goose good for the gander type thing,if she doesnt at least try wash your hands as her mindset is defeatist and this will drag on ad infinitum :NoNo:

[Sophie]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity

Very true :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

Very true :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yup,victim mentality,they thrive on the pity it elicits from others,easiest course of action seeing as how he is already using her as a doormat is to leave him :icon_lol:

[Northerner]

Some people are what we used to call NBV's(natural born victims)they have a victim mentality,bad things in life always happen to them because they dont even try and help themselves out of situations and just wallow in self pity,Hard times beget hard measures,tell her to get herself a boyfriend,good for the goose good for the gander type thing,if she doesnt at least try wash your hands as her mindset is defeatist and this will drag on ad infinitum :NoNo:

Or just give her Tawi's phone number :D:Erm:

[Tawi2]

Nope,I like mentally strong women(they need to be,I do strange things sometimes) :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

But she does need to jettison him,and alter her perception of herself,forget catholicism for a while,its like the heavy sack of rocks Buddhists carry through their present life if they were naughty(and who wasnt:xxgrinning--00xx3:)in their last existance,tell her to learn to like herself,if she doesnt listen grab a handfull of hair and try banging her head against a wall,preferably brickwork and not stud partitioning :Erm:

[bornatbirth]

thats why when hes at work she should pack up and go stay with a friend maybe maria :Erm: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

then he might realise what he will lose,if he doesnt come looking then she needs to leave him?

[Northerner]

Nope,I like mentally strong women(they need to be,I do strange things sometimes) :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:D

Actually, tell her to take up a hobby like, say.. Mixed Martial Arts:xxgrinning--00xx3: Apart from being surrounded by mostly men who like to get :Erm: roughed up whilst half naked. A good few of them will be trying to get into her, and her husband will know it!

And he can't exactly march down there for a shouting match, can he:rolleyes:

And with a little luck she will lose the victim mentality:)

[Sophie]

Yup,victim mentality,they thrive on the pity it elicits from others,easiest course of action seeing as how he is already using her as a doormat is to leave him :icon_lol:

exactly, sometimes they enjoy the sympathy they get and they like people feeling sorry for them so they get stucked as victims.....:NoNo:

[maria_and_matt]

i guess your stuck with her? :icon_lol::icon_lol: you could always move home if she bothers you that much or get a much bigger dog! :icon_lol:

worth considering:icon_lol: i will tell my hubby

[maria_and_matt]

thats why when hes at work she should pack up and go stay with a friend maybe maria :Erm: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

then he might realise what he will lose,if he doesnt come looking then she needs to leave him?


or maybe she can stay with u:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[maria_and_matt]

Or just give her Tawi's phone number :D:Erm:


tawi2 whats ur number?

[Tawi2]

666 :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

or maybe she can stay with u:icon_lol::icon_lol:

anytime :Erm:

we only live 5 mins from you,so she can come and chat with you while im at work :icon_lol::icon_lol:

what if she did come and stay with you for a few days and her hubby didnt look for her and stuck with you for months?? :censored: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[maria_and_matt]

666 :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:icon_lol::icon_lol: thought its 69

[Sophie]

thats why when hes at work she should pack up and go stay with a friend maybe maria :Erm: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

then he might realise what he will lose,if he doesnt come looking then she needs to leave him?

LOL, now you want her to move with maria for good, she will be stucked with her forever, lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:
Maria might go insane, she might still carry on crying, bad suggestion BAB, lol :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[maria_and_matt]

anytime :Erm:

we only live 5 mins from you,so she can come and chat with you while im at work :icon_lol::icon_lol:

what if she did come and stay with you for a few days and her hubby didnt look for her and stuck with you for months?? :censored: :icon_lol::icon_lol:

she stayed with me for a month last year while hubby was away on a 'business' trip... never again... and i mean never, all she talked about was STD's her hubby gave her... and she cried a lot... i do not do crying very well unless someones died:icon_lol:

[maria_and_matt]

LOL, now you want her to move with maria for good, she will be stucked with her forever, lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:
Maria might go insane, she might still carry on crying, bad suggestion BAB, lol :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:

i agree with u there soph, bad bad bad idea

[Mrs.JMajor]

Oiii friend, nice to see you sharing this sort of things ha, havent read members reply, I just read the first post of you, my opinion is.......Why should I insist myself he doesnt love me anymore :rolleyes:

[Tawi2]

she stayed with me for a month last year while hubby was away on a 'business' trip... never again... and i mean never, all she talked about was STD's her hubby gave her... and she cried a lot... i do not do crying very well unless someones died:icon_lol:
STD's :cwm24:Seriously that is sad,she needs some form of self esteem affirmation and counselling,her husband sounds like a slug :NoNo:How old is he?

[maria_and_matt]

Oiii friend, nice to see you sharing this sort of things ha, havent read members reply, I just read the first post of you, my opinion is.......Why should I insist myself he doesnt love me anymore :rolleyes:

desperation drove me to share this hahaha

[bornatbirth]

tell her you have swine flu??

[Tawi2]

tell her you have swine flu??

Something as commonplace as that wouldnt scare her off,for goodness sakes she is a veteran of Chlamydia :omg: Vaginal warts :cwm24: and other unmentionables :NoNo:

[maria_and_matt]

STD's :cwm24:Seriously that is sad,she needs some form of self esteem affirmation and counselling,her husband sounds like a slug :NoNo:How old is he?

he is in his 40's... she miscarried 2 years ago, the cause..... be ready for this, its some sort of STD he picked up in Thailand. chlamydia (had to google that for the spelling)... so sad but if she lets him get away with all this the abuse will never stop. its a loonnnggggggggg story, im just so fed up i am past caring already:bigcry:

[maria_and_matt]

tell her you have swine flu??

swine flu wont put her off seeing me im afraid.. :bigcry:

[Northerner]

he is in his 40's... she miscarried 2 years ago, the cause..... be ready for this, its some sort of STD he picked up in Thailand. chlamydia (had to google that for the spelling)... so sad but if she lets him get away with all this the abuse will never stop. its a loonnnggggggggg story, im just so fed up i am past caring already:bigcry:

:cwm23: I know what I'd do if I was her.. But if I said it, it might get me banned from this forum, so.. :action-smiley-060:

The fact that he returns from Thailand with STDs makes me think he is having unprotected sex with prostitutes:omg: Tell her to get a full test, HIV, the works.. :Erm: But she really needs to get rid of this guy.

Tell her to sleep with his boss, that'll mess his head up :Bricks:

[Tawi2]

No way,his bosses todger might develop those gungy pustular eruptions and leak snot coloured puss after sleeping with her,she really needs to leave that guy but you know what?She wont :NoNo:

[Sophie]

he is in his 40's... she miscarried 2 years ago, the cause..... be ready for this, its some sort of STD he picked up in Thailand. chlamydia (had to google that for the spelling)... so sad but if she lets him get away with all this the abuse will never stop. its a loonnnggggggggg story, im just so fed up i am past caring already:bigcry:

I had a friend exactly like yours back home, she is like the queen of all martyr's and all she does is cry and seek my comfort and sympathy.....
but in the end, i got fed up of hearing thesame thing and giving my advise over and over but she never listens, like i'm talking to a wall.....
Like you, i also got to a point where i've gone past caring already and i wanted so much to just hit her head on the wall so she wakes up and gets to her senses.....

[Northerner]

No way,his bosses todger might develop those gungy pustular eruptions and leak snot coloured puss after sleeping with her,she really needs to leave that guy but you know what?She wont :NoNo:

Yeah.. Instant career kill :icon_lol:

*Sigh*.. Tawi is right, she will never leave him and we all know it :Brick: So, just tell her to either leave him or shut up about it:Erm:

Perhaps that will push her to seriously consider it.

:ARsurrender:

[maria_and_matt]

:cwm23: I know what I'd do if I was her.. But if I said it, it might get me banned from this forum, so.. :action-smiley-060:

The fact that he returns from Thailand with STDs makes me think he is having unprotected sex with prostitutes:omg: Tell her to get a full test, HIV, the works.. :Erm: But she really needs to get rid of this guy.

Tell her to sleep with his boss, that'll mess his head up :Bricks:

i told her to poison him:icon_lol::icon_lol:

but i have told her to go to the hospital and have a HIV test done regularly.

her husband is mean, she told me that sometimes when they have sex he covers her face with a pillow:cwm25:

i told her to transfer the moeny they have to an account he does not know of and leave. told her she is better off without him, but she keeps on telling me she loves him and she is praying that he will change. i told her the chances of that happening is so slim. at the end of the day its her life maybe i should just cut off all communicatuon and leave them to it. she gets me down..

[Tawi2]

Covers her face with a pillow :cwm24: you know there are shops in Pinas that sell cyanide for fishermen under the counter?Or she can get castor beans or make abrin,a poisonous lectin from the seeds of.............:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Northerner]

i told her to poison him:icon_lol::icon_lol:

but i have told her to go to the hospital and have a HIV test done regularly.

:omg: First of all, why the :censored: is she still having sex with this :censored::furious3:


her husband is mean, she told me that sometimes when they have sex he covers her face with a pillow:cwm25:

Just when I thought I couldn't dislike this guy any more, you lay a belter on me:cwm23: I'd have him playing wifey in the Bangkok Hilton if I was your friend :cwm23: The evil things I'd do to him just can't be mentioned:Brick:


i told her to transfer the moeny they have to an account he does not know of and leave. told her she is better off without him, but she keeps on telling me she loves him and she is praying that he will change. i told her the chances of that happening is so slim. at the end of the day its her life maybe i should just cut off all communicatuon and leave them to it. she gets me down..

:devil-smiley-029:

[Sophie]

at the end of the day its her life maybe i should just cut off all communicatuon and leave them to it. she gets me down..

That's sort of what i did to my martyr friend back home maria, i got so fed up about her crying and not doing anything about it.....
so i shut down on her, i told her i don't wanna hear about her :censored: husband and her crying and moaning about that jerk again....
i told her i've had enough listening to thesame nonsense over and over again, and that i'm so sick of seeing how pathetic she is already.....

I also told her i'm so disappointed with her coz she used to be something before this jerk came along,
she used to be smart and beautiful and confident about herself and she let this jerk took it all away
and made her feel she's not good enough and she doesn't deserve better, and that's what made me really mad.....
she let him take away the best side of her and her self worth and self respect and that's what disappointed me so much
because i've known her to be better than that.....and it's sad she let him strip her off of her dignity and did not refuse to be a victim....:NoNo:

I love my friend but sometimes you have to exercise tough love as i want the best for her, sadly she doesn't realize what's best for her.....:NoNo:
Maybe your friend needs some tough love too maria, she needs to get back to her senses before its too late......

[Sophie]

her husband is mean, she told me that sometimes when they have sex he covers her face with a pillow:cwm25:

:omg::omg::omg::omg: why does he cover her face with pillow when they have sex? Is it because he is so disgusted to see her face and turns him off
or he enjoys brutal sex and derives sexual pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering during sex?
Either way, he is a monster, if i were on her place and he did that, the husband will be in the hospital ICU by now or probably on his funeral already ....:NoNo::D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[pumpkins]

i heard from my sister yaya's story that their neighbor husband cheated on her so what she did she soaked her husband underwear on a juicy chile so after that day this husband wore his underwear and his birdie felt absolutely hot then it became swollen big time.. that what your friend should do to her cheat husband,his birdie should not be happy to others nest..give him a lesson, dont tolerate what he is doing.. let her punish his birdie hihihihi

[britishdetained]

Nope,I like mentally strong women(they need to be,I do strange things sometimes) :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:omg::omg::omg:strange things?:Erm:


anyway maria i think advise her to report her husband to the authority:xxgrinning--00xx3: then leave him or he will do that again and again. She may soon realised she had buried herself in a relationship that full of pains and insecurities.


or if she want she can do what Muslim women does if their husband cheat on them... cut his *****:xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol:

[trader dave]

as usual i am going to say something different:yikes: it is all very well us telling her to use our sometimes stupid divorce laws :icon_lol:

if they was both living in the philippines and she went to see her priest and said father my husband is a :censored:to me and he is unfaithfull

what would the preist say ...............:NoNo: forgive him ????

[britishdetained]

i told her to poison him:icon_lol::icon_lol:

but i have told her to go to the hospital and have a HIV test done regularly.

her husband is mean, she told me that sometimes when they have sex he covers her face with a pillow:cwm25:

i told her to transfer the moeny they have to an account he does not know of and leave. told her she is better off without him, but she keeps on telling me she loves him and she is praying that he will change. i told her the chances of that happening is so slim. at the end of the day its her life maybe i should just cut off all communicatuon and leave them to it. she gets me down..

He should seek psychological help.:doh:NoNo::NoNo:

too much flirting with girls, and now he is covering her face with pillow...that is mentally sick bas***:cwm23:. Your friend must see a psychologist too as she allows those thing to her. Both are not normal:NoNo:. Good that they dont have any children as I would pity the children more than her. She needs to respect herself by leaving that w****r:furious3::furious3:.

[britishdetained]

If my husband do that to me...well his parents would start collecting parts of his body from different parts of the Philippines:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

a very good friend of mine (she's filipina), has been married to her british husband for about 4 years now. the hubby has cheated on her before they got married and recently went to thailand and had a sexual encounter with a filipina ex there. i have told time my friend time and time again that she should leave him. she told me she can't coz shes catholic and her parents will disapprove. i have her here in my home often crying her eyes out, to be perfectly honest i am so sick of it. why put up with a man that don't treat you right. i really have no patience to sit here and listen to her, it gets me so down.

if you were me, what would you say and do?

Teach her to be more realistic and accept failures in life. Tell her, having a dishonest and unfaithful husband is living with hell.

I have also 2 friends with same situation. They have both son in their first marriage. Their hubby hurt physically their son. One is not bothered and I cried when I saw her son hurt physically and my other friend simply divorced her husband. I will not allow anybody to hurt anybody. :cwm23: I have seen many cases that most stepchildren of their hubby are not treating well.:NoNo:

I know some wives can't leave their husband because they have children and scared to live without support and hard to live if jobless. Too bad they are living in hell and hard to escape.

I will salute those women who left their evil husband with children or not.

Being brave, realistic and accepting your failures will actually help.

She is lucky anyway, she has friend like you and have shoulder to cry on. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[miss.piggy]

a very good friend of mine (she's filipina), has been married to her british husband for about 4 years now. the hubby has cheated on her before they got married and recently went to thailand and had a sexual encounter with a filipina ex there. i have told time my friend time and time again that she should leave him. she told me she can't coz shes catholic and her parents will disapprove. i have her here in my home often crying her eyes out, to be perfectly honest i am so sick of it. why put up with a man that don't treat you right. i really have no patience to sit here and listen to her, it gets me so down.

if you were me, what would you say and do?

Hi Maria,

It must be really tiring listening to the same issue nonestop. Your friend may be taking advatage of your friendship and does not realise that the drama is now putting you off.

Suggestion: tell her straight that it's starting to distub you listening to the same drama again and again. As a friend, tell her you appreciate her friendship ofcourse, but it's just becoming unhealthy for you and it's not fair.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery". Your catholic friend should not feel guilty leaving her husband as God will not banish her for deserting someone who is committing a mortal sin (to the catholics' belief).

Her husband is obviously disrespecting her to the highest form. Accepting it is disrespect to herself.

[vbkelly]

a very good friend of mine (she's filipina), has been married to her british husband for about 4 years now. the hubby has cheated on her before they got married and recently went to thailand and had a sexual encounter with a filipina ex there. i have told time my friend time and time again that she should leave him. she told me she can't coz shes catholic and her parents will disapprove. i have her here in my home often crying her eyes out, to be perfectly honest i am so sick of it. why put up with a man that don't treat you right. i really have no patience to sit here and listen to her, it gets me so down.

if you were me, what would you say and do?

tell her leave him and move on and kick her ass :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Tawi2]

Daves right in a way,if she is 100% strict catholic she should follow her teachings and forgive him :Erm: turn the other(butt) cheek :rolleyes:

[Sophie]

Daves right in a way,if she is 100% strict catholic she should follow her teachings and forgive him :Erm: turn the other(butt) cheek :rolleyes:

:omg::omg::omg::omg: too much sugar this morning tawi??:Erm::Erm: lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[trader dave]

:omg::omg::omg::omg: too much sugar this morning tawi??:Erm::Erm: lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:



:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: thank you sophie and thank you and everyone else who pmd :Erm:PMT :doh SENT MESSAGE TO MRS T and a special thankyou to those who did not send me any :icon_lol::icon_lol::doh

my slant on this basicly is yes he is a :censored: was he a :censored:before she married him:Erm: if she knew he was a :censored:and she married him :Erm: well tough s*it

my biggest p*ss off is when people anyone comes into this country and start to use our sometimes very easily MANIPULATED AND SOMETIMES DAM RIGHT STUPID LAWS

if they have married in the philippines DIVORCE DOES NOT EXIST tough live with it or and dont tell her to kill him because i am afraid some will take it seriously :doh

BUT I WILL SAY AGAIN JUST IN CASE YOU ALL MISSED IT

YES THE GUY IS AN ABSOLUTE A*RSHOLE and as for having unprotective sex i hope he gets aids and dies a slow death :NoNo:

but god does NOT GIVE HIS REWARDS IN MONEY

[Tawi2]

:omg::omg::omg::omg: too much sugar this morning tawi??:Erm::Erm: lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:

Its a combination of sugar and adrenaline Soph,I have been on full-charge all day,you ever have one of those days when your mind is racing but isnt in synch with your mouth :Erm:No?Oh,I guess its only me then :icon_lol:Hows your day been Dave :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[lizaphil]

666 :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Oi that is the sign of the DEVIL:blacklistsmartassHL:joke:

[Tawi2]

Oi that is the sign of the DEVIL:blacklistsmartassHL:joke:

Well spotted :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Sophie]

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: thank you sophie and thank you and everyone else who pmd :Erm:PMT :doh SENT MESSAGE TO MRS T and a special thankyou to those who did not send me any :icon_lol::icon_lol::doh

LOL, you're welcome dave :D:D Glad you and missus kissed and made up already :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Sophie]

Its a combination of sugar and adrenaline Soph,I have been on full-charge all day,you ever have one of those days when your mind is racing but isnt in synch with your mouth :Erm:No?

LOL, i get what you mean, i get those days too sometimes, lol :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[belfast_dude]

she is in a difficult spot....but she has to be strong.....he will not change....he is what he is....and she is better than him......being a catholic does not mean putting up with **** from an ass***e husband......her faith will help her....god will help but she must realise you r trying to help her......loyalty is an amazing trait......but i believe her family will back her 100%.......family is everything...and i bet her family will want her to be happy.....trying to find the right words to explain this to her will be difficult...i do not know if her family knows what is happening....i guess she has not told them.....but she must realise she has a good friend in u....and u r there for her100000%.....the whole forum is with her....and god is with her......and her family will support her....i understand about filipino loyalty....i know u can talk her into making the right decision.......good luck....i will pray that she has the strength to make the right decision..... ingat palagi

[maria_and_matt]

she is in a difficult spot....but she has to be strong.....he will not change....he is what he is....and she is better than him......being a catholic does not mean putting up with **** from an ass***e husband......her faith will help her....god will help but she must realise you r trying to help her......loyalty is an amazing trait......but i believe her family will back her 100%.......family is everything...and i bet her family will want her to be happy.....trying to find the right words to explain this to her will be difficult...i do not know if her family knows what is happening....i guess she has not told them.....but she must realise she has a good friend in u....and u r there for her100000%.....the whole forum is with her....and god is with her......and her family will support her....i understand about filipino loyalty....i know u can talk her into making the right decision.......good luck....i will pray that she has the strength to make the right decision..... ingat palagi

awwww thank you belfast dude... i actually spent the afternoon with her today away from her husband.. i told her that what her hubby is doing to her is wrong and she should not put up with it... i told her to seriously think of leaving him, and if she decides to do that she can stay with me. and if her hubby comes knocking on my door i will kick his **** to kingdom come.. she gave me several reasons why she won't leave him... first is love... and 2nd is her belief that he can change...

i do not think he can change, but who am i to say that... i just hope and pray that all goes well for her, i care about her, i know the feeling of being so far away from home and family... i told her i will be here if she needs to talk... that is all i can do for now..

[Tawi2]

I think based on averages he wont change,one of the reasons is he wipes his feet on her each and every time he goes to Thigh'land,he has no respect for her whatsoever,thats fact,what sort of guy gives his wife chlamydia :Erm:most guys who acyually love their wives give them chocolates flowers and perfume not STD's :NoNo:

[Sophie]

she gave me several reasons why she won't leave him... first is love... and 2nd is her belief that he can change...

In my opinion, that's not love, it's more stupidity (sorry for the word) how can she still love this jerk who is mean enough to cover her face
with pillow during sex, fools around with other women for god knows how many and gave her STD's.
If she is still in love with this guy and feels she can still love him despite all that, then i'm afraid she is a masochist....
And her second reason that he might change? That's a wishful thinking and a complete illusion.....
But maybe he will change, once she start making things right by standing up to him,
walk away from the jerk and finally refuse to be a victim for a change....

[Sophie]

what sort of guy gives his wife chlamydia :Erm:

a monster, a maniac and a jerk of the highest kind :NoNo:

[Tawi2]

In my opinion, that's not love, it's more stupidity (sorry for the word) how can she still love this jerk who is mean enough to cover her face
with pillow during sex, fools around with other women for god knows how many and gave her STD's.
If she is still in love with this guy and feels she can still love him despite all that, then i'm afraid she is a masochist....
And her second reason that he might change? That's a wishful thinking and a complete illusion.....
But maybe he will change, once she start making things right by standing up to him,
walk away from the jerk and finally refuse to be a victim for a change....

Good one soph,I like that "We are women we are strong,we are women we are one.........WOMEN!!!!" :xxgrinning--00xx3:Just remembered,I am not female,but hey,I can empathise :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

a monster, a maniac and a jerk of the highest kind :NoNo:

Which begs the follow on question "What sort of woman puts up with a guy who gives her chlamydia"??:Erm:

[Sophie]

Which begs the follow on question "What sort of woman puts up with a guy who gives her chlamydia"??:Erm:

a masochist and a martyr of the highest kind :D

[Sophie]

Good one soph,I like that "We are women we are strong,we are women we are one.........WOMEN!!!!" :xxgrinning--00xx3:Just remembered,I am not female,but hey,I can empathise :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I guess my being a feminist is coming out quite strongly huh?? LOL
It just upsets me how some women can just take it and put up being treated like crap :NoNo:
And i don't get the "i still love him" reason....:NoNo:
unconditional love does not apply on cases like this, this is over the top and just don't make sense...

[Tawi2]

I just remembered that chant from when I was a kid Soph,you probably never heard it but it was the Greenham Common lesbians mantra :icon_lol: It stuck in my head for years because those women were scarily masculine :cwm24: They would have lopped off the sleazy guys chlamydia riddled member and stuffed it into his mouth :icon_lol: Theres only so many times you can tell his wife something before you need to admit defeat,hold up your hands,and walk away,her life,her choices and ultimately her mistakes :Erm::ARsurrender:

[Sophie]

Theres only so many times you can tell his wife something before you need to admit defeat,hold up your hands,and walk away,her life,her choices and ultimately her mistakes :Erm::ARsurrender:

I agree, at the end of the day, it all comes down to her choices.....
and the choices you make can either bring you happiness and bliss or tragedy and failure.....

[Tawi2]

The thing with life is your only given what really amounts to a short span,and it soon goes,so rectify your mistakes as soon as you recognise them,this lady looks doomed through her own choice to a lifetime of misery(and scratching) :NoNo:

[Sophie]

The thing with life is your only given what really amounts to a short span,and it soon goes,so rectify your mistakes as soon as you recognise them,this lady looks doomed through her own choice to a lifetime of misery(and scratching) :NoNo:

I totally agree :xxgrinning--00xx3: Very wise words tawi, as always :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:
"rectify your mistakes as soon as you recognize them" - i like this one so much, it makes a lot of sense :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

It was a fructose induced quote :Erm:Because I am taking fruit sugar in my tea today but its true,most of us squander our allotted span,and spend our dotage regretting the choices and decisions of our youth :NoNo:

[Sophie]

most of us squander our allotted span,and spend our dotage regretting the choices and decisions of our youth :NoNo:

very true :xxgrinning--00xx3:
fruit sugar works best then, than too much sugar, lol :D:D:D:D

[D&G]

i actually spent the afternoon with her today away from her husband.. i told her that what her hubby is doing to her is wrong and she should not put up with it... i told her to seriously think of leaving him, and if she decides to do that she can stay with me. and if her hubby comes knocking on my door i will kick his **** to kingdom come.. she gave me several reasons why she won't leave him... first is love... and 2nd is her belief that he can change...

i do not think he can change, but who am i to say that... i just hope and pray that all goes well for her, i care about her, i know the feeling of being so far away from home and family... i told her i will be here if she needs to talk... that is all i can do for now..



Hi Maria! first of all i wanna say i salute u for being such a good friend :xxgrinning--00xx3: it takes a lot of patience to put up with all your friend's never ending drama.:NoNo::NoNo: I also got lots of friends here who are experiencing the same problem (having unfaithful husbands :yikes: ) but u know what they are still living together with their husbands for some crazy, idiotic reasons :NoNo:and waiting for a miracle from above :NoNo::NoNo: sad to say no matter how we try to help them these women are not willing to help themselves...they call it unconditional love!:yikes::Erm: (i call it stupid love) It is really annoying when someone ask for an advice but never take or listen to ur advice :NoNo::doh im afraid ur friend would not listen to any of ur advices but then she would always expect u to listen to her drama and be her "shock absorber" :NoNo::NoNo:

hey why dont u encourage her to talk to a counselor instead about her situation. Having someone professional who will guide her through this process will help her avoid or at least minimize some of the pain she is bound to be feeling...

[Tawi2]

People change when they hurt enough that they HAVE to change,she obviously has a very high tolerance threshold:NoNo:You can advise her once...twice....thrice.....then you might just as well play the trumpet or speak Urdu because she is taking just as much notice :NoNo:

[britishdetained]

Hi Maria, tell your friend that you can just give her some ideas to ease her problem/worries but then at the end of the day she is still the one to make the choice. And if she still prefer to be with him inspite of all the things he done for her, she must as well take what ever consequences may happen in the future. It is us who chooses what life we want to have and what ever life can be weather it is full of glory or a bed of thorns. As a woman myself, I wont let my husband cheat on me even once as I still believe that once he did it -he can do the same thing again and again. Being with him and accepting what he is doing is not being martyr but instead being frighten to be alone. Love is not full of sacrifices and it cannot be one way...Love is when both of you fell the same happiness and wanting to be with each other. And in a relationship you must remember that TRUST and RESPECT are the most very important ingredient in a happy marriage.

[D&G]

People change when they hurt enough that they HAVE to change,she obviously has a very high tolerance threshold:NoNo:You can advise her once...twice....thrice.....then you might just as well play the trumpet or speak Urdu because she is taking just as much notice :NoNo:



:D:D you're right some people got very high threshold for pain and some even "enjoy" the pain :NoNo::NoNo:

[D&G]

As a woman myself, I wont let my husband cheat on me even once as I still believe that once he did it -he can do the same thing again and again. .

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: i hope all women would think this way, BD. Infidelity is totally unacceptable... sad to say it is everywhere u look!:yikes: :NoNo: it is like a common disease now :omg: Men are most likely to cheat on their partners but some women nowadays are experts on that cheating game :omg:[/QUOTE]

[Tawi2]

D&G women are the same as guys quite often,I dont know if theres an infidelity gene but I am sure I am not the only one on this forum who in the past has met quite a number of pinays who cheated on their husbands :Erm:

[trader dave]

Hi Maria! first of all i wanna say i salute u for being such a good friend :xxgrinning--00xx3: it takes a lot of patience to put up with all your friend's never ending drama.:NoNo::NoNo: I also got lots of friends here who are experiencing the same problem (having unfaithful husbands :yikes: ) but u know what they are still living together with their husbands for some crazy, idiotic reasons :NoNo:and waiting for a miracle from above :NoNo::NoNo: sad to say no matter how we try to help them these women are not willing to help themselves...they call it unconditional love!:yikes::Erm: (i call it stupid love) It is really annoying when someone ask for an advice but never take or listen to ur advice :NoNo::doh im afraid ur friend would not listen to any of ur advices but then she would always expect u to listen to her drama and be her "shock absorber" :NoNo::NoNo:

hey why dont u encourage her to talk to a counselor instead about her situation. Having someone professional who will guide her through this process will help her avoid or at least minimize some of the pain she is bound to be feeling...



when you are talking about your friends they are in the philippines ?? not uk based ???

lets take it a step further and ask why guys are unfaithfull or is no man on here going to admit that????

[D&G]

her husband is mean, she told me that sometimes when they have sex he covers her face with a pillow:cwm25:



:omg::omg: strange...:Erm:but did she try to ask her hubby why ..whats the reason behind his unusual behaviour? i find it strange really but it could also be the wifey is too noisy while doing the deed so he has to quite her down :D:icon_lol::D

[trader dave]

and yes tawi sophi bt and dg :icon_lol:

me and mrs T are fine she will be back she is a little embarresed :doh but you know me i got a neck like a jockeys b*llocks [tawi will explain that]:icon_lol:

as i said before this not her week ladys problems :furious3:

there was another reason she has a hissi fit on here because a member [i think he is a member] took all the trouble to search ym and skype untill he found her number then called her :yikes::yikes: now if you want to talk to someone talk to them on here PM THEM :doh:doh this guy was very sad that she was upset with her husband:cwm24: and he made a few derogatory remarks concerning the english:Erm::icon_lol::icon_lol:

so who was it ??? anyone brave enough to come out of the woodwork

i dont bite:Erm::icon_lol: yet

[D&G]

when you are talking about your friends they are in the philippines ??


yes my friends here in the Philippines...it is so shocking to know that only 1 out 10 married friends got a happy marriage :omg: they are either a victim of domestic violence or unfaithful husband :NoNo::NoNo: i don't understand why they have to put up with it and pretend to the whole world that they got a perfect marriage...(another cultural issue :NoNo: )

[D&G]

D&G women are the same as guys quite often,I dont know if theres an infidelity gene but I am sure I am not the only one on this forum who in the past has met quite a number of pinays who cheated on their husbands :Erm:



We don't know how many people exactly are unfaithful...but we can have a good guess that one-half of married men and one-third of married women became unfaithful in some ways at least once?? :rolleyes:... there's no infidelity gene i think...sometimes there's a truth in this common belief/Mythology : MEN ARE POLYGAMOUS BY NATURE :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[trader dave]

:omg::omg: strange...:Erm:but did she try to ask her hubby why ..whats the reason behind his unusual behaviour? i find it strange really but it could also be the wifey is too noisy while doing the deed so he has to quite her down :D:icon_lol::D


:Erm::Erm: oooooo we are talking about the pillow over the face :yikes: i cant comment on that

but some women do like to be abused ,dominated even forced to have sex ,roll play it turns them on :D TRUE


i did not realy mean that :icon_lol::doh sorry

i meant why does this guy or any guy come to that need to be unfaithfull???

me and MRS T have discussed this like we have everything ,no boundaries ,no secrets , a guy is not unfaithfull for nothing ??? right or wrong ??? the guys 40 + he is not a young studd of 20 that needs sex every 2 mins ------ can you see where i am going on this ?????

i will wait for further comment before i carry on

[Tawi2]

Someone phoned your wife Dave :Erm:From this site :Erm:I would be a little disturbed if that were to happen to me :Erm: D&G when I was based in Hong Kong the discos of Wanchai were jam-packed with married pinays each weekend,I also had a mate who had a wierd sort of domestic relationship as his DH was married in pinas but was very friendly with him when his wife wasnt in the house :Erm: When I read about the demure,devoted,shy,loving caring pinays I always wonder if the guys eulogising live in some sort of Pinay utopia where the ladies never screech like cats,sulk like kids or bang and clash around the house in temper like a caribbean steel-band :Erm:

[trader dave]

Someone phoned your wife Dave :yikes: ............... an old ex way before i came on the scene :doh no problem as i told her why does he not just say hello :Erm: :Hellooo: just a strange way to go about things :icon_lol::NoNo:


back to the thread :doh :Erm:where was i :Erm: i realy dont agree with those that say .....if my husband makes one mistake i will divorce him :omg:

do you realy care that little about your marriage :Erm: we all make mistakes surely its not 1 strike and you are out :doh

as someone quoted only 1 out of 10 of her friends are happly married i find that very very very sad :cwm24:

but i know what others are thinking .....who are you to talk you are on wife mk 3:Erm: of course i have an answer to that as well :ARsurrender:

[pocahontas]

can i say something... above all who answered this post early for this issue...you guys are great to give this very positive...you know having new bf, having new career, new life, be strong... and as my own opinion.. we are now living in very highs standard of life a very open mind life..being catholic or even not catholic my point is its not about the religion its about you and your life...thats is the issue...wake up!if you have a kids that will make your world enough. leave your husband and live for your kids... your not alone... life is too short make it worth atleast not for your self but for your kids..isnt it.

[trader dave]

can i say something... above all who answered this post early for this issue...you guys are great to give this very positive...you know having new bf, having new career, new life, be strong... and as my own opinion.. we are now living in very highs standard of life a very open mind life..being catholic or even not catholic my point is its not about the religion its about you and your life...thats is the issue...wake up!if you have a kids that will make your world enough. leave your husband and live for your kids... your not alone... life is too short make it worth atleast not for your self but for your kids..isnt it.

dont kids deserve 2 loving caring parents and i say loving ??/

[Tawi2]

And there was me almost,yup almost suckered into believing the old till-death-us-do-part pinay mantra,its a fact that when some women leave pinas and the claustrophobic confines of their religion and their families ever watchfull gaze they become westernised and they change :icon_lol:they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation,but a goodly number :icon_lol:And while I think D&G's statistics of 1 in 10 is quite high I do actually know a number of ladies in Pinas who if they had a get-out clause or an escape route would leave their husbands,its only the massive cost of annulment and no where to go with a handfull of kids that stops them jumping ship.

[trader dave]

And there was me almost,yup almost suckered into believing the old till-death-us-do-part pinay mantra,its a fact that when some women leave pinas and the claustrophobic confines of their religion and their families ever watchfull gaze they become westernised and they change :icon_lol:they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation,but a goodly number :icon_lol:And while I think D&G's statistics of 1 in 10 is quite high I do actually know a number of ladies in Pinas who if they had a get-out clause or an escape route would leave their husbands,its only the massive cost of annulment and no where to go with a handfull of kids that stops them jumping ship.

tawi my ol friend you hit exactly what i was trying to say ........they become westernised and they change :icon_lol:they do indeed change,not all thats a generalisation:xxgrinning--00xx3:

now thats when the problems start girls DONT CHANGE i for one do not want a westernised pilipina with western ideas and ideals:Hellooo:

[Tawi2]

Its like bird watching,the more you study our feathered friends the more you find out about their habitat,their habits and characteristics :icon_lol: I have known quite a few women who started out quiet,demure,shy :Erm:Once they are abroad and their family ties are cast off they become totally different people with a whole new persona :cwm24:Not all of them but enough so its noticeable :Erm:Better not sat this too loudly but I always suspected one or two might have married their guys just to get out of pinas,the love faded and whithered like an unnurtured flower :NoNo:The more you mingle with various groups the more you learn eye opening things,I have met one or two who admitted to being with their husbands for companionship :Erm:

[JimOttley]

I have known quite a few women who started out quiet,demure,shy :Erm:Once they are abroad and their family ties are cast off they become totally different people with a whole new persona :cwm24:Not all of them but enough so its noticeable :Erm:Better not sat this too loudly but I always suspected one or two might have married their guys just to get out of pinas,the love faded and whithered like an unnurtured flower :NoNo:

Tawi, kids here in the UK are often shy and quiet before they go to University or College.

The experience of being away from home in an open minded environment can totally transform these kids, they grow up, develop opinions, assert themselves, they become self confident.

In a sense going abroad for a naturally shy Filipino is a very similar experience but one that has gets deferred until that exposure to the foreign culture actually happens.

Doesn't matter how old you are, we all change throughout our lives sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. For me I would expect the change of environment to bring change to the person, I think it unlikely that the person would remain static not growing into the new environment they find themselves in?

For what it is worth the amount of time I've spent in the Philippines has definitely changed me (for the better I hope) I had attained an old fart mentality by the time I first went to the Phils :) but I have a much more optimistic outlook on life these days :)

Maria, you're in a hellish position, if your friend's story is anywhere near accurate then she is in the company of a dangerous, sick, selfish man and needs to escape.

It's no different to a disfunctional relationship anywhere else, just more tragic given the hope for a better future that is often implicit in a Philippine/Foreigner relationship.

You cant fix it for her and you need to be blunt with her.

I had a Catholic upbringing, I understand the faith but enough is enough when a man treats his wife that way.

Pillow? jeez. :(


Jim

[D&G]

i realy dont agree with those that say .....if my husband makes one mistake i will divorce him :omg:

do you realy care that little about your marriage :Erm: we all make mistakes surely its not 1 strike and you are out :doh

as someone quoted only 1 out of 10 of her friends are happly married i find that very very very sad :cwm24:


i agree with you Dave...disagreements should not always end up in divorce. Because we are HUMAN, we are bound to make MISTAKES...(except those habitual mistakes & pre-meditated mistakes though :D ) I believe that we should give our best to make the marriage/relationship work...and it is not right to "jump ship" at the very first sign of a turbulence.

To hold your marriage or relationship together takes more than mere romance...it takes knowledge, commitment and hard work

[bystander09]

Someone phoned your wife Dave :Erm:From this site :Erm:I would be a little disturbed if that were to happen to me :Erm: D&G when I was based in Hong Kong the discos of Wanchai were jam-packed with married pinays each weekend,I also had a mate who had a wierd sort of domestic relationship as his DH was married in pinas but was very friendly with him when his wife wasnt in the house :Erm: When I read about the demure,devoted,shy,loving caring pinays I always wonder if the guys eulogising live in some sort of Pinay utopia where the ladies never screech like cats,sulk like kids or bang and clash around the house in temper like a caribbean steel-band :Erm:


Indeed every coin has two faces...:rolleyes:

bystander

[Tawi2]

Indeed every coin has two faces...:rolleyes:

bystander

I have always been able to see the obverse and reverse,but some guys arent numismatists and just never see past the face value :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3: