ginapeterb
22nd August 2009, 08:21
I love my Barkada (group) do you miss yours ?
I have been back from the Philippines just under 1 week now, and its been a kind of deathly silence return, what do I mean, well getting home last Sunday taught me just how much, I have the Filipino way of life in my veins, its kind of like you arrive at NAIA and have an injection, that puts the Filipino DNA into your system.
Once the DNA is in your system, you start to think as a Filipino, act like a Filipino, eat like a Filipino, and talk like a Filipino.
Just look at my English, I tend to slow down, emphasize certain points, and have this yo yo stretching words, such as take the word attentive, you roll it like this...atennnnntive !
Yes the DNA is coming up to the surface of my veins and complaining, or is that reklamo ng reklamo, the fact is:
I miss my barkada !
Coming back to UK is bad enough, don't get me wrong guys for those reading this, I know UK is where I make my living, but making a living is not always enough, you have to have some kind of life too, and life is always what you make it, but I cannot help feeling that my barkada, or social group is where my heart is.
Do you all have this feeling that I have, I think it has much to do with the fact that I have only 1 sister in this country, and we rarely see each other due to distance, so family is not always easy for me to keep in touch with, and I do miss the times when I was in the Armed Forces, because back then we had a great social group system, we were always 6 to 10 of us going out, and you could always rely on each other, not just in dangerous situations but in social situations too.
The last time I was in Philippines, I was accepted into my wife's barkada of high school class mates, now in the Philippines, these girls have a barkada for almost anything, and Filipinos love to celebrate, they are always celebrating someone's birthday, someone's graduation, a relatives's anniversary, it doesn't take much to cause a party to be formed, or just a meal out, or general discussion, with snacks, soft drinks, because the amount of time I have tried to offer coffee, it goes un drank, I think Filipinos prefer soft drinks at occasions.
My wife's barkada of high school class mates, from the 1984 Batch have adopted me into the group, the group is called the Pink Ladies, because they always were known at school as a group that likes Pink.
Now I am officially a Pink gentleman, that is the husband of a Pink lady, this group on my travels, goes everywhere together, they laugh and joke, and go out for dinner, meet up at different ones houses for snacks, but what amazes me is the total atmosphere of the occasions.
Its fun to be there, and fun is important when you need to relax, they are always laughing and cracking jokes, thats another thing I find, Filipino's seem to love to make fun of people, and even themselves, they make fun of their lot in life, how hard life is, and at least they can poke fun at their elected representatives, or some other city official who promised this and that, even the roads they are supposed to be building, they would laugh and point out its not finished.
I must confess I miss my barkada, I left them all behind, I am sure they are always meeting up, but I am not there, what is it about Filipino barkada's that gives you a sense of belonging, they are always in large groups, I used to criticise them saying that they can't seem to go anywhere, without holding each others hand, but then it took me a long time to realize, that its nothing to do with that.
I belong to a group now, and I miss my group, they were great fun, and I wonder how many here, on arriving in the UK, miss their group too, perhaps some of you girls, who came to UK, feel a little isolated, perhaps you miss your groups too, I can well understand how you feel, the UK can be unforgiving when it comes to groups.
Some ladies find themselves isolated in towns and cities where they cannot find a friend or group of friends, its like that sometimes, some Filipina's complain there is no life outside the window of the house.
I know what they mean, no Jeepneys, no pedicabs, no tri-cyles and even more so, no noise, (akin to life) no one selling anything, and no one calling for a chat.
When you see life in the Philippines and the culture of saying "Gabi" or M/Umaga to someone in the morning, you realize just how isolated we have become, in 2025 the government estimates that 1 in 4 houses will actually be single occupied, no one else in the house.
Thank God for sites such as Facebook and Friendster, or one could really find themselves isolated, I am so happy to be part of a group, but I miss my group, my wife is away right now, still on duty in the Philippines, thankfully I have some freinds I am meeting today, but this week has been a quiet week, my only company is sky news in the morning, and t.v. in the evenings, but nothing can prepare me for:
The Deathly silence of the 4 walls, when you put the key into your door lock after landing at Heathrow Airport.
Come on guys I would like to seriously explore how you felt, this is for the men here at the forum.
How was your landing ? did you stare out through the port holes ? what were you thinking ?
How was the journey home back to your house ? what went through your mind ?
Did you leave a girl behind for the first time ?
Was that your first visit ?
Did you leave a newly married wife behind ?
Are you a seasoned traveller, and still get the same feeling ?
What was it like when you put the key in the door lock and went in through the door.
What about the 300,000 letters on the floor or in the mail box ?
These and many other questions circulate through all of our minds, perhaps maybe you are like me, if you know you have a problem with all of this, you mentally prepare yourself as I did.
What I tend to do is physch myself up for the return, I remind myself of what I will expect, how it will be, and tell myself you have done this many times before, and its always the same, I tell myself a little plan how to overcome it, and ensure that I know what I will do when I get home, so as not to be stuck watching the 4 walls.
Its harder I guess for guys who left a newly married wife there in the Philippines, some guys are luckier in that they fetch the girl back with them, and they arrive together, this can be an exciting time, as the guy would want to show the lady around, coming back together is a nice way to start your life together, your barkada starts the minute you arrive.
For others, its not much fun, having to leave the girl you love behind after a great time, my experiences tell me, these things pass in time, but my experiences tell me also, that nothing is like UK life, in terms of isolation, life is what you make it I tell myself, but somehow, I don't think I will ever get used to:
Being seperated from my Barkada, but its only a week and 2 days to go, and finally my girl will be back, and that's all I need for the moment...
Let me hear your stories....
I have been back from the Philippines just under 1 week now, and its been a kind of deathly silence return, what do I mean, well getting home last Sunday taught me just how much, I have the Filipino way of life in my veins, its kind of like you arrive at NAIA and have an injection, that puts the Filipino DNA into your system.
Once the DNA is in your system, you start to think as a Filipino, act like a Filipino, eat like a Filipino, and talk like a Filipino.
Just look at my English, I tend to slow down, emphasize certain points, and have this yo yo stretching words, such as take the word attentive, you roll it like this...atennnnntive !
Yes the DNA is coming up to the surface of my veins and complaining, or is that reklamo ng reklamo, the fact is:
I miss my barkada !
Coming back to UK is bad enough, don't get me wrong guys for those reading this, I know UK is where I make my living, but making a living is not always enough, you have to have some kind of life too, and life is always what you make it, but I cannot help feeling that my barkada, or social group is where my heart is.
Do you all have this feeling that I have, I think it has much to do with the fact that I have only 1 sister in this country, and we rarely see each other due to distance, so family is not always easy for me to keep in touch with, and I do miss the times when I was in the Armed Forces, because back then we had a great social group system, we were always 6 to 10 of us going out, and you could always rely on each other, not just in dangerous situations but in social situations too.
The last time I was in Philippines, I was accepted into my wife's barkada of high school class mates, now in the Philippines, these girls have a barkada for almost anything, and Filipinos love to celebrate, they are always celebrating someone's birthday, someone's graduation, a relatives's anniversary, it doesn't take much to cause a party to be formed, or just a meal out, or general discussion, with snacks, soft drinks, because the amount of time I have tried to offer coffee, it goes un drank, I think Filipinos prefer soft drinks at occasions.
My wife's barkada of high school class mates, from the 1984 Batch have adopted me into the group, the group is called the Pink Ladies, because they always were known at school as a group that likes Pink.
Now I am officially a Pink gentleman, that is the husband of a Pink lady, this group on my travels, goes everywhere together, they laugh and joke, and go out for dinner, meet up at different ones houses for snacks, but what amazes me is the total atmosphere of the occasions.
Its fun to be there, and fun is important when you need to relax, they are always laughing and cracking jokes, thats another thing I find, Filipino's seem to love to make fun of people, and even themselves, they make fun of their lot in life, how hard life is, and at least they can poke fun at their elected representatives, or some other city official who promised this and that, even the roads they are supposed to be building, they would laugh and point out its not finished.
I must confess I miss my barkada, I left them all behind, I am sure they are always meeting up, but I am not there, what is it about Filipino barkada's that gives you a sense of belonging, they are always in large groups, I used to criticise them saying that they can't seem to go anywhere, without holding each others hand, but then it took me a long time to realize, that its nothing to do with that.
I belong to a group now, and I miss my group, they were great fun, and I wonder how many here, on arriving in the UK, miss their group too, perhaps some of you girls, who came to UK, feel a little isolated, perhaps you miss your groups too, I can well understand how you feel, the UK can be unforgiving when it comes to groups.
Some ladies find themselves isolated in towns and cities where they cannot find a friend or group of friends, its like that sometimes, some Filipina's complain there is no life outside the window of the house.
I know what they mean, no Jeepneys, no pedicabs, no tri-cyles and even more so, no noise, (akin to life) no one selling anything, and no one calling for a chat.
When you see life in the Philippines and the culture of saying "Gabi" or M/Umaga to someone in the morning, you realize just how isolated we have become, in 2025 the government estimates that 1 in 4 houses will actually be single occupied, no one else in the house.
Thank God for sites such as Facebook and Friendster, or one could really find themselves isolated, I am so happy to be part of a group, but I miss my group, my wife is away right now, still on duty in the Philippines, thankfully I have some freinds I am meeting today, but this week has been a quiet week, my only company is sky news in the morning, and t.v. in the evenings, but nothing can prepare me for:
The Deathly silence of the 4 walls, when you put the key into your door lock after landing at Heathrow Airport.
Come on guys I would like to seriously explore how you felt, this is for the men here at the forum.
How was your landing ? did you stare out through the port holes ? what were you thinking ?
How was the journey home back to your house ? what went through your mind ?
Did you leave a girl behind for the first time ?
Was that your first visit ?
Did you leave a newly married wife behind ?
Are you a seasoned traveller, and still get the same feeling ?
What was it like when you put the key in the door lock and went in through the door.
What about the 300,000 letters on the floor or in the mail box ?
These and many other questions circulate through all of our minds, perhaps maybe you are like me, if you know you have a problem with all of this, you mentally prepare yourself as I did.
What I tend to do is physch myself up for the return, I remind myself of what I will expect, how it will be, and tell myself you have done this many times before, and its always the same, I tell myself a little plan how to overcome it, and ensure that I know what I will do when I get home, so as not to be stuck watching the 4 walls.
Its harder I guess for guys who left a newly married wife there in the Philippines, some guys are luckier in that they fetch the girl back with them, and they arrive together, this can be an exciting time, as the guy would want to show the lady around, coming back together is a nice way to start your life together, your barkada starts the minute you arrive.
For others, its not much fun, having to leave the girl you love behind after a great time, my experiences tell me, these things pass in time, but my experiences tell me also, that nothing is like UK life, in terms of isolation, life is what you make it I tell myself, but somehow, I don't think I will ever get used to:
Being seperated from my Barkada, but its only a week and 2 days to go, and finally my girl will be back, and that's all I need for the moment...
Let me hear your stories....