case for divorce?

[Terrielicious]

Hi guys I know it will be sound like it is me but it is not actually me who has the problem.

I have a question about a friend in Exeter who wants to file a divorce. They only got married just over a month ago. The reason is because they are continuously arguing over a nonsense reasons and sometimes end up with the husband beating the wife.

Now she wants to file a divorce but the problem is she doesnt know how and her passport has been sent to the UKBA for her ILR and it has still not been processed at the moment.

She wants to know if she will be able to call the UKBA office and ask if she can change the address to send her documents back or if she can just pick it up from the Home Office.

If she is going to file a divorce does that mean that the UKBA wont approve her application for her ILR?

She actually wants to stay here for a while to at least have a job till the possible ILR visa gets approved cos she has no money at all her hubby dont give her enough, not even enough for her fare escaping from him.


Thanks a lot in advance. God Bless!

[KeithD]

She's best waiting till she gets the ILR.

I'm sure all the ladies on here would arrange to meet him all at the same time :NEW4::xxangry-smiley-038::xxmixed-smiley-017::xxangry-smiley-009::action-smiley-060::wizardkl:

[Tawi2]

Thats a very sad story :NoNo:

[KeithD]

Thats a very sad story :NoNo:
All the women meeting? :Erm:

[Tawi2]

The entire story is sad,especially when the word "Escape" was used,thats when you know a relationship hasnt worked out :NoNo: How long did your friend know the guy before she agreed to marry him Terrie?Wasnt she aware of his character?:NoNo:Total breakdown in the relationship after only a month is terrible.

[KeithD]

I often wonder how they don't notice it isn't working before they marry! :Erm:

After years things can change but not a month.

Tell her to stick around till the ILR is through, which doesn't take long, and get some evidence of the beatings (leave a mic around, hidden camera, etc), then when the ILR arrives, have him arrested. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

A total break-down is incomprehensible in a month,there must have been signs long before,lets just hope its settled without serious injury,hell hath no fury like a psycho scorned :NoNo:If he wont let her go now imagine when she gets her divorce :NoNo:

[Northerner]

I often wonder how they don't notice it isn't working before they marry! :Erm:

After years things can change but not a month.

Tell her to stick around till the ILR is through, which doesn't take long, and get some evidence of the beatings (leave a mic around, hidden camera, etc), then when the ILR arrives, have him arrested. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Agreed:cwm34: And don't shy away from sending his a:censored:s to prison:cwm23:

[JimOttley]

Nothing justifies beating a woman, not ever.

It is a very sad story.

I am a bit confused onthe ILR side of things though as the timings seem a bit strange?


Jim

[Ji&Ma]

I often wonder how they don't notice it isn't working before they marry! :Erm:

After years things can change but not a month.

Tell her to stick around till the ILR is through, which doesn't take long, and get some evidence of the beatings (leave a mic around, hidden camera, etc), then when the ILR arrives, have him arrested. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:iagree: She should give him back what he deserves :cwm23: :Brick: :furious3:

[Terrielicious]

Thanks for all the replies :)

They met on the dating site i forgot what it is, the guy visited her for 10days and then she applied for a fiancee visa they been arguing before she come here and then when they living together after she arrived here for about 2 weeks they start arguing like every week she will call me and tell me about it and it seems they arguing in everything I dont understand like the guy is actually blaming her or keep reminding her that he got no money cos he spent it all by getting her here in the UK and like telling her that she should do things in his way even cooking rice OMG we Pinay should be the closest to perfect to cook rice but waever. I dont wanna say more what they are arguing about cos my hubby is telling me it is not necessary lol he just dont want me to be nosey. She arrived here last march 26 got married 8aug and now separating.

She left the house tonight and moved to the filipino family nearby and she will be travelling tomorow to come and stay with me while she figuring out what she gonna do next. I advised her early this morning that it is best if she will wait for her ILR to arrive but then they already decided and the husband is actually pushing her out in the house.

The husband is telling her that he will ban her to the immigration which I dont know how he gonna do that. Before they got married I keep on telling my friend to think about it million times but she doesnt like to go home and tell her family that she failed cos she is embarassed about the outcome of the foreigner coming to get her but she failed

The first time she got hit by her fiancee that time Im asking her to just go home but then she doesnt wanna go home cos she is afraid to face her family and the failure. So she attempted to commit suicide but she wasnt succesful so I told her to stop being with him anymore and dont be afraid to come home.

What she can do now I dont know. She already left the house tonight the ILR still in process she submit her application about a month ago she has no idea when it is going to turn up. Would the UKBA office will accept call and possibly be ok with just collectiing her documents personally rather than send it to her husband address?

Thanks guys for the replies again I wanna help my friend but i dont know what to do. Hope this will sort out soon tho.

[triple5]

When she gets to you maybe take her to the citizen advice bureau, get as much advise as you can. Best of luck to her.

[Ji&Ma]

Hi Terrie, it is extremely sad and absolutely unbelievable for me to read that someone can behave like this to his wife and I would say it is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
It is very nice to read that she has support in you and that she's coming to live with you through this hard period of her life.
You friend doesn't need to worry about her ILR as there are definitely ways how to get it sorted.
The same is about he threats from her husband that he will get her deported etc - it is quite the opposite - if he will try he might get into serious trouble himself.
Please see following link to UKBA pages - I'm sure you can get some advice from there and some comfort for your friend:

UKBA - domestic violence (http://www.bia.homeoffice.gov.uk/partnersandfamilies/domesticviolence/)

Nothing is lost, wish your friend good luck and nerves of steel :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jaishann]

I often wonder how they don't notice it isn't working before they marry! :Erm:

After years things can change but not a month.

Tell her to stick around till the ILR is through, which doesn't take long, and get some evidence of the beatings (leave a mic around, hidden camera, etc), then when the ILR arrives, have him arrested. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

because I think they don't know unless they try?

[Terrielicious]

Hi Terrie, it is extremely sad and absolutely unbelievable for me to read that someone can behave like this to his wife and I would say it is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
It is very nice to read that she has support in you and that she's coming to live with you through this hard period of her life.
You friend doesn't need to worry about her ILR as there are definitely ways how to get it sorted.
The same is about he threats from her husband that he will get her deported etc - it is quite the opposite - if he will try he might get into serious trouble himself.
Please see following link to UKBA pages - I'm sure you can get some advice from there and some comfort for your friend:

UKBA - domestic violence (http://www.bia.homeoffice.gov.uk/partnersandfamilies/domesticviolence/)

Nothing is lost, wish your friend good luck and nerves of steel :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thank you so much for your reply these info will help her to decide what she gonna do next.

[pumpkins]

hi..how long they have been chatting before they met in real..? it was only 10 days the guy visited her and she got a fiancee visa:omg:
it is so sad.. the husband beating her and keep telling her what he's done to her, its a big:NoNo:..
and my husband said you can only file a divorce after 1 year of marriage..
how bad is that...
is her husband has been married before or is this his first marriage?
does he has a family there?
she should of checked her husband family background before marry him but its too late now:cwm34:

[Ji&Ma]

BTW Terrie - something just came to my mind...
You say that she is applying for ILR?
Isn't it actually FLR??? As she came in here on fiancee visa I think that she should be applying for the FLR first :Erm: :Erm: :Erm:
If I'm wrong someone please correct me...

[joebloggs]

applying for ilr, looks like for many people is taking longer than 3 months, so if her husband phoned up UKBA and told them he was no longer supporting his wife and the marriage is over, maybe they will refuse the app.

domestic violence i dont think would help, does she have evidence doctor or police reports ? , also shes moved out of their home.

i know it sounds bad, but if she put up with all the :censored: for so long, why she couldn't try stay with him but avoid him as much as possible until she got ILR.

[KeithD]

The husband is telling her that he will ban her to the immigration which I dont know how he gonna do that.
That's fine, just tell her to make it clear to him he's going to jail if he does. :xxgrinning--00xx3: And if she's already left, tell her never to go to see him alone.

[Ping]

Her application is FLR not ILR because she's only here seven months .

[Ayjay]

Her application is FLR not ILR because she's only here seven months .

Sounds right... What is her visa status in the UK..?? Complete breakdown after only one month.. rare... and very sad...

AJ :(

[Ayjay]

Thanks for all the replies :)

They met on the dating site i forgot what it is, the guy visited her for 10days and then she applied for a fiancee visa they been arguing before she come here and then when they living together after she arrived here for about 2 weeks they start arguing like every week she will call me and tell me about it and it seems they arguing in everything I dont understand like the guy is actually blaming her or keep reminding her that he got no money cos he spent it all by getting her here in the UK and like telling her that she should do things in his way even cooking rice OMG we Pinay should be the closest to perfect to cook rice but waever. I dont wanna say more what they are arguing about cos my hubby is telling me it is not necessary lol he just dont want me to be nosey. She arrived here last march 26 got married 8aug and now separating.

She left the house tonight and moved to the filipino family nearby and she will be travelling tomorow to come and stay with me while she figuring out what she gonna do next. I advised her early this morning that it is best if she will wait for her ILR to arrive but then they already decided and the husband is actually pushing her out in the house.

The husband is telling her that he will ban her to the immigration which I dont know how he gonna do that. Before they got married I keep on telling my friend to think about it million times but she doesnt like to go home and tell her family that she failed cos she is embarassed about the outcome of the foreigner coming to get her but she failed

The first time she got hit by her fiancee that time Im asking her to just go home but then she doesnt wanna go home cos she is afraid to face her family and the failure. So she attempted to commit suicide but she wasnt succesful so I told her to stop being with him anymore and dont be afraid to come home.

What she can do now I dont know. She already left the house tonight the ILR still in process she submit her application about a month ago she has no idea when it is going to turn up. Would the UKBA office will accept call and possibly be ok with just collectiing her documents personally rather than send it to her husband address?

Thanks guys for the replies again I wanna help my friend but i dont know what to do. Hope this will sort out soon tho.

Yes you can deliver and pick up FLR documentation personally at LUNAR HOUSE in CROYDON.. I am not sure about other locations..

AJ

[vbkelly]

Hi guys I know it will be sound like it is me but it is not actually me who has the problem.

I have a question about a friend in Exeter who wants to file a divorce. They only got married just over a month ago. The reason is because they are continuously arguing over a nonsense reasons and sometimes end up with the husband beating the wife.

Now she wants to file a divorce but the problem is she doesnt know how and her passport has been sent to the UKBA for her ILR and it has still not been processed at the moment.

She wants to know if she will be able to call the UKBA office and ask if she can change the address to send her documents back or if she can just pick it up from the Home Office.

If she is going to file a divorce does that mean that the UKBA wont approve her application for her ILR?

She actually wants to stay here for a while to at least have a job till the possible ILR visa gets approved cos she has no money at all her hubby dont give her enough, not even enough for her fare escaping from him.


Thanks a lot in advance. God Bless!

she need to sort it out her visa first before she file a devorce to her husband.

[Bluebirdjones]

Perhaps I’m being a little cynical here, or have a suspicious mind, but there are always two sides to every story, and at present we’ve only seen one & some things just don’t ring true, or sit comfotrable with me.

I assume that it’s a FLR she’s applying for, not the ILR?
Also, this She actually wants to stay here for a while to at least have a job till the possible ILR visa gets approved cos she has no money at all. Is very confusing.

She cannot work until the FLR is approved…. and there is obviously no chance of her gaining an ILR in 2 years’ time.

Perhaps she just came for “economic reasons” in the first place, perhaps it was never her intention to “make it work”. Who knows ?

It seems she’s more concerned about the FLR/ILR being granted than anything else !
She's prepared to shut her mouth to his violence, his behaviour UNTIL the FLR is granted, yes ????????????

“She has no money to return”.
If she pitched up at the Filipino Embassy in London and explained the situation, they would repatriate her. (Isn’t this part of what’s covered at the CFO ?). Granted, they might bill her for the flight, but they would also (I assume) expect her to levy assault charges against the husband.

….. but if she did that, then there would be no chance of the FLR being granted, and hence no chance of working here.


BTW …. I would never ever condone violence in the family home/environment in ANY circumstances.

[LEAHnew]

I'm sorry to hear the story of your friend:NoNo::NoNo:


hi..how long they have been chatting before they met in real..? it was only 10 days the guy visited her and she got a fiancee visa:omg:
it is so sad.. the husband beating her and keep telling her what he's done to her, its a big:NoNo:..
and my husband said you can only file a divorce after 1 year of marriage..
how bad is that...
is her husband has been married before or is this his first marriage?
does he has a family there?
she should of checked her husband family background before marry him but its too late now:cwm34:
Yes I agree:cwm34:

Divorce
To get divorced you must have been married for more than one year

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/divorce/index.htm



Her application is FLR not ILR because she's only here seven months .

yes agree to Ate Ping:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[IainBusby]

Perhaps I’m being a little cynical here, or have a suspicious mind, but there are always two sides to every story, and at present we’ve only seen one & some things just don’t ring true, or sit comfotrable with me.

I agree. :NoNo:

[gWaPito]

My thoughts are with her state of mind, never mind about the dam visa! She tried to commit suicide.
she must be at her wits end..is it really worth hanging on in there with a wife beater? I think not..once a wife beater, always a wife beater.
Yes, there are two sides to every coin but, no woman deserves to be beaten what ever the provocation.
Surely life can't be that bad for her in the Phil, so bad that she would rather stay here and be treated like a miss treated dog, I think not! she should go home, the gossips will soon find something else to gossip about.

[Bluebirdjones]

... this is exactly my point.

It seems that the desire for a Visa, the desire for that all-important National Insurance number
outweighs all other concerns.

The whole thread is about "if he does this... can I get my visa", or "if this happens ... what
about my visa"

Whereas it should be about, "My life and health is at threat. How do I end this nightmare. Who
should I complain to, what evidence do I need to provide to the police, how do I get home to
my family".

There is more to this methinks

[pumpkins]

... this is exactly my point.

It seems that the desire for a Visa, the desire for that all-important National Insurance number
outweighs all other concerns.

The whole thread is about "if he does this... can I get my visa", or "if this happens ... what
about my visa"

Whereas it should be about, "My life and health is at threat. How do I end this nightmare. Who
should I complain to, what evidence do I need to provide to the police, how do I get home to
my family".

There is more to this methinks

you have a point bluebirdjones

[gWaPito]

... this is exactly my point.

It seems that the desire for a Visa, the desire for that all-important National Insurance number
outweighs all other concerns.

The whole thread is about "if he does this... can I get my visa", or "if this happens ... what
about my visa"

Whereas it should be about, "My life and health is at threat. How do I end this nightmare. Who
should I complain to, what evidence do I need to provide to the police, how do I get home to
my family".

There is more to this methinks

Yes, I think you are right bluebirdJones...after reading the header again, something is missing..I guess we will be like the rest..watching this space. I know for sure, the visa wouldn't be the the uppermost in my mind if I'd try to do myself away.
It may be us misunderstanding and it's the 'friend' trying to get her to stay.

Thanks for the reply BluebirdJones

[Terrielicious]

Her application is FLR not ILR because she's only here seven months .


Lol :Brick: it is FLR. i dont know about visa things only when im reading here in the forum that is why im glad i found this forum I learned a lot here.

Thanks you for the reply Ate Ping and for correcting me.

GOdBless:)

[Terrielicious]

is her husband has been married before or is this his first marriage?
does he has a family there?
she should of checked her husband family background before marry him but its too late now:cwm34:

Her husband has already been married 4 times before. She didnt know this before she came to uk and only found this out from filipino friends she has made here. They know his latest Ex wife and she was also a victim of his violence :(

[Terrielicious]

I assume that it’s a FLR she’s applying for, not the ILR?
Also, this She actually wants to stay here for a while to at least have a job till the possible ILR visa gets approved cos she has no money at all. Is very confusing.

Yes.. sorry as I mentioned above, I meant FLR not ILR



She's prepared to shut her mouth to his violence, his behaviour UNTIL the FLR is granted, yes ????????????

No. Ive never said that, she has tried to live with it and make the marriage work, but sometimes enough is enough and things have to change.



“She has no money to return”.
If she pitched up at the Filipino Embassy in London and explained the situation, they would repatriate her. (Isn’t this part of what’s covered at the CFO ?). Granted, they might bill her for the flight, but they would also (I assume) expect her to levy assault charges against the husband.

….. but if she did that, then there would be no chance of the FLR being granted, and hence no chance of working here.

Im not sure about what the filipino embassy would do, but her thoughts are that now shes here she may as well try to make the best of things. If its not going to work out with her husband and she can get a visa to stay and work here for 2 years, then why not do that?

I dont know for sure her intention when she agreed to marry him only what she has told me and my own judgement on whether she is being truthfull about that or not. My feeling is that she came here for the right reasons and things have gone wrong since she arrived.

Only she knows for sure..... :)

[Tawi2]

He has been married FOUR times :cwm24:The guys a masochist :Erm: Well,once again marry in haste repente in leisure,or in your friends case marry in haste repent even quicker :Erm:Lots of pinays marry tom,dick,or harry without having a clue about the guy just to escape being left on the shelf or to escape poverty,though its true what BlueBird pointed out,she does seem eager for her Visa which is quite strange considering her short-lived marriage has just broken up :Erm: It will all come out in the wash as my nan used to say :)

[Terrielicious]

'friend'

Please see line one of the first post :)

[Tawi2]

How old are the couple Terri :Erm: The guy must be clocking on judging by the number of divorces he has racked up?Unless he is into speed relationships?A bit like speed dating but more meaningful(for a short while anyway) :Erm:

[joebloggs]

i take it she didn't contact the police, doctor or social services ? if not i doubt she will get ilr becuase of domestic violence.

maybe she could still get flr, depends if her husband contacts immigration and tells them their marriage is over, but even if he did, maybe her app is already processed, or maybe they will not do anything yet. but i think becuase their marriage is over they could revoke her flr and tell her to leave the uk, even if she did get flr and is not told to leave, she cant get ilr as her marriage is over.

options for staying here, not much chance at all :NoNo:

[jaishann]

applying for ilr, looks like for many people is taking longer than 3 months, so if her husband phoned up UKBA and told them he was no longer supporting his wife and the marriage is over, maybe they will refuse the app.

domestic violence i dont think would help, does she have evidence doctor or police reports ? , also shes moved out of their home.

i know it sounds bad, but if she put up with all the :censored: for so long, why she couldn't try stay with him but avoid him as much as possible until she got ILR.

1. Thats true in my case 4 months(ILR) , FLR (same day)

2. She should have rang the police and had him picked up

3. I think it is hard Joeblogs to put up with it when your life is in danger?

[jaishann]

Her husband has already been married 4 times before. She didnt know this before she came to uk and only found this out from filipino friends she has made here. They know his latest Ex wife and she was also a victim of his violence :(

You get to know the person when you live in the same roof, share 1 pillow and argue about it:):)

Is this an online love affair to start with? if you dont mind me asking?

[jaishann]

[QUOTE=Bluebirdjones;174114]Perhaps I’m being a little cynical here, or have a suspicious mind, but there are always two sides to every story, and at present we’ve only seen one & some things just don’t ring true, or sit comfotrable with me.

I agree.

[gWaPito]

How old are the couple Terri :Erm: The guy must be clocking on judging by the number of divorces he has racked up?Unless he is into speed relationships?A bit like speed dating but more meaningful(for a short while anyway) :Erm:

Don't knock it until you tried it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Sophie]

How old are the couple Terri :Erm: The guy must be clocking on judging by the number of divorces he has racked up?Unless he is into speed relationships?A bit like speed dating but more meaningful(for a short while anyway) :Erm:

or he may be into serial marriage, lol.....:D:D

[Tawi2]

Don't knock it until you tried it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I would never knock speed dating,I wouldnt participate either however :Erm:
Your right Soph,he might just like wedding ceremonies or wedding cake :Erm:At least he has the decency to get divorced between "Relationships" otherwise he could add bigamist to his list of sins :rolleyes:

[Terrielicious]

i take it she didn't contact the police, doctor or social services ? if not i doubt she will get ilr becuase of domestic violence.

maybe she could still get flr, depends if her husband contacts immigration and tells them their marriage is over, but even if he did, maybe her app is already processed, or maybe they will not do anything yet. but i think becuase their marriage is over they could revoke her flr and tell her to leave the uk, even if she did get flr and is not told to leave, she cant get ilr as her marriage is over.

options for staying here, not much chance at all :NoNo:

Unfortunately she didnt contact any of the authorities.

Her husband says he will give the passport back to my friend once it is processed and sent back.
She will try to phone the UKBA to see if we will be able to just pick up the documents?

[eleazebonares]

She shouldn't have 'escaped',she shouldve just called the authorities on him,and had his ass busted.or like enroll at a kick boxing class,so the fight would be even. (Jennifer LOPez, *enough)

[KeithD]

She shouldn't have 'escaped',she shouldve just called the authorities on him,and had his ass busted.or like enroll at a kick boxing class,so the fight would be even. (Jennifer LOPez, *enough)
Then she'd be sent home now. Although she will be in 2 years anyway, as she won't get ILR.

[WillsG25]

My thoughts are with her state of mind, never mind about the dam visa! She tried to commit suicide.
she must be at her wits end..is it really worth hanging on in there with a wife beater? I think not..once a wife beater, always a wife beater.
Yes, there are two sides to every coin but, no woman deserves to be beaten what ever the provocation.
Surely life can't be that bad for her in the Phil, so bad that she would rather stay here and be treated like a miss treated dog, I think not! she should go home, the gossips will soon find something else to gossip about.

Very true, no woman should put up with any form of violence from their partner, in fact this fella ain't really a man, no matter what has caused the disagreements there is no reason to raise the hand to a woman. What is it with some people picking up girls on the internet and then marrying them without really knowing each other, why not check the water level before jumping in.

[IainBusby]

... this is exactly my point.

It seems that the desire for a Visa, the desire for that all-important National Insurance number
outweighs all other concerns.

The whole thread is about "if he does this... can I get my visa", or "if this happens ... what
about my visa"

Whereas it should be about, "My life and health is at threat. How do I end this nightmare. Who
should I complain to, what evidence do I need to provide to the police, how do I get home to
my family".

There is more to this methinks


Precisely, I would have thought that if everything was as bad as she has said, the sort of thing she would asking would be, "how can I get some help to get back home to my family".
Iain.

[pumpkins]

hi terrielicious, where is the girl now.. ?you said she will stay with you..is she there with you now?:Erm:

[Terrielicious]

hi terrielicious, where is the girl now.. ?you said she will stay with you..is she there with you now?:Erm:

Yes she is with me now she arrived yesterday afternoon and we picked her up from the Bus Station. She is beside me reading here in the forum and she wanna join as well here but at the moment we dont have a good connection we just use the plug in internet.

She still texting with her husband and the husband seems to blamed her from leaving it seems strange cos he is now texting like it was my friend fault that she left him and that she is a bad wife leaving her husband alone? hmmm dont understand him at all now.

She will go home to the philippines now but she gonna have to wait for her passport to turn up her husband says he will give her passport back once its been returned.

I really hope that my friend wont go back with him she still keep replying to his text anyway.

[joebloggs]

i think your friend has virtually no chance of getting ILR in 2yrs time thru marriage, even if she does get FLR very soon.(possible if she goes back to him .. :NoNo:)

if she wants to stay, she needs to find another way.. :Erm:

[eleazebonares]

Then she'd be sent home now. Although she will be in 2 years anyway, as she won't get ILR.

2years is good.student visas are for 2 years,so what the heck.

[eleazebonares]

U guys,maybe its her family who wants her to stay..maybe she needs to spill it out on here so everyone will be enlightened. I mean,i dont blame here if she wants to escape poverty.who could??