Northerner
25th September 2009, 21:32
With the resurgence of my (much) earlier thread "How could I have been so stupid?", I thought it wise to post a thread on scammers and how best to avoid them. Especially as recently I have noticed some newer members not currently in a relationship, still looking for that special someone.
From everything I know there are scammers on both sides. Women from the Philippines who will try and scam a western man for whatever money she can get and the western man who is scamming a young Filipina into providing sexual services with the promise of a marriage and life in the west. Both (in my opinion) as detestable as each other for varying reasons!
Firstly, I will look at the (western) male scammer as I think more members of this forum could potentially fall victim to one of these men. And men like this will not consider themselves scammers as they are not acquiring money or goods, they may even be providing money or goods to the Filipina they are in contact with. However, this is essentially a business transaction in their eyes and love is nothing more than a word used to manipulate the opposite sex. Such men can be very convincing and even display emotions making it difficult to tell them from other meaningful men.
However, tell tale signs will always arise with these men. They may have a long history of vacations to the Philippines and have long standing Friendster accounts, they will also want to talk about sex very early in the relationship. As they are trying to figure out if the lady they are talking to is open to offers!
But a cautionary note! Some honest, single men may also seem likely to fit this description. Therefore it is essential that these words are taken as a simple guide, not as a set of rules!
The best advice I could ever give to any woman is to trust your instincts! The human brain takes in far more information than it is possible for you to explain through mere words. Our senses have evolved to a level where we can detect danger even when we can find no otherwise rational reason for this danger. Society has demanded a certain level of politeness and so we dismiss our fears as irrational or worse, we ignore the warning signals that our brain has intercepted from all of the senses that we possess. And we walk straight into danger rather than act 'rude' or offend somebody by avoiding them.
So if you meet your new boyfriend soon after the relationship starts, and you don't like the look of him or something just 'doesn't feel right'! Trust your senses and let him be to enjoy his holiday alone! You might feel rude and many people might criticize you. But always trust your instincts. Your safety is far more important than the social construct we call politeness!
There is another type of male scammer and that is of a man pretending to be a woman for the purpose of befriending western men for the purpose of acquiring money. I would hope it was obvious that such a person was easy to spot. However, there are many 'lady boys' in Asia who could easily pass as a woman here in the UK. Often looking so feminine that a straight man would find it difficult to tell that he was dealing with another man, literally until the got (ahem) down to business. These scammers use similar tactics to female scammers (see below). However, I do know of some Asian lady boys who are not scammers but are looking to meet a western man to marry (as it is legal here in the UK) for a better life altogether, though such people are honest and quick to mention that they are transgendered.
Female scammers a more prominent and discussed more on this forum and elsewhere in society. And I would break female scammers down into two categories. A: The seasoned and professional scammer. and B: The accidental Scammer.
A: The Professional Scammer.
These women will have a boyfriend in the Philippines and possibly a husband, whilst at the same time dating western men for the financial purposes. They will typically be very beautiful and often well versed in English (even western humour) and be able to talk with the western man with ease. She may also be a little shy or coy at times, all as part of the act to sway the gentleman to thinking she is genuine. There are some ways to spot these women but there is no definite set of rules. One obvious thing is that these women require money, and so the conversation will gear towards money or how she is very poor and needs help, medical or otherwise. She may also profess love very quickly or make it clear she wishes a sexual relationship before marriage. Again, there are no rules and instincts should always be relied upon, as a genuine woman could easily make a western man think she is a scammer.
B: The Accidental Scammer.
These are women who set out to have a relationship but found that their new 'rich' boyfriend was so easy to manipulate, that it was far easier than getting a job to get money. And they will often learn that we in the west can often provide more than the usual low paid work offered in the Philippines. But they will also become accustomed to a lifestyle provided by their 'rich' benefactor and might make the mistake of getting another boyfriend, making mistakes as they are not accustomed to keeping more than one man on the go.
It has also been noted on the Internet that there are girls as young as 15 who have learned from family or friends that a western man is an easy source of income, and so for a few young ladies it might even appear as a career choice. However, these women are truly few and far between when it comes to Filipinas so it should be considered unlikely that you will come across one of these. But if you do, trust your instincts above all else.
My advice to western men embarking on the Internet to seek out their special someone is to (again) trust your instincts! Get a Friendster account and seek out this new lady and see if she has an account, see if she is in a relationship already (you will be surprised how many scammers get caught out by having Friendster profiles with pictures of themselves and their boyfriends), make sure she is not too shy to appear on the webcam to make sure she is indeed a 'she', and make sure she shows you her body (with clothes on you pervs:D - but to also make sure she is not pregnant, as I found out to my cost).
Also note, as documented here countless times. The Philippines is a poor country with wages on a scale you wouldn't pay a 10 year old to wash your car with in the UK. Many Filipinas will be shy to ask for money but could actually do with the help. These are the genuine ladies out there! Most men in a serious relationship will help their loved ones once they have decided that this girl is the one, or at least somebody they think could be the one. So if a Filipina lets you know after some embarrassment that she does not come from a rich family or that they was their clothes by hand. Take it as an honest divulgment and don't react with hostility to it.
But please, please... Do not assume she is a scammer, scammers are in the vast minority of Filipinas and are simply a pitfall to be avoided on the road to happiness. Be safe, be careful, but above all else; be considerate!
Sean
:)
From everything I know there are scammers on both sides. Women from the Philippines who will try and scam a western man for whatever money she can get and the western man who is scamming a young Filipina into providing sexual services with the promise of a marriage and life in the west. Both (in my opinion) as detestable as each other for varying reasons!
Firstly, I will look at the (western) male scammer as I think more members of this forum could potentially fall victim to one of these men. And men like this will not consider themselves scammers as they are not acquiring money or goods, they may even be providing money or goods to the Filipina they are in contact with. However, this is essentially a business transaction in their eyes and love is nothing more than a word used to manipulate the opposite sex. Such men can be very convincing and even display emotions making it difficult to tell them from other meaningful men.
However, tell tale signs will always arise with these men. They may have a long history of vacations to the Philippines and have long standing Friendster accounts, they will also want to talk about sex very early in the relationship. As they are trying to figure out if the lady they are talking to is open to offers!
But a cautionary note! Some honest, single men may also seem likely to fit this description. Therefore it is essential that these words are taken as a simple guide, not as a set of rules!
The best advice I could ever give to any woman is to trust your instincts! The human brain takes in far more information than it is possible for you to explain through mere words. Our senses have evolved to a level where we can detect danger even when we can find no otherwise rational reason for this danger. Society has demanded a certain level of politeness and so we dismiss our fears as irrational or worse, we ignore the warning signals that our brain has intercepted from all of the senses that we possess. And we walk straight into danger rather than act 'rude' or offend somebody by avoiding them.
So if you meet your new boyfriend soon after the relationship starts, and you don't like the look of him or something just 'doesn't feel right'! Trust your senses and let him be to enjoy his holiday alone! You might feel rude and many people might criticize you. But always trust your instincts. Your safety is far more important than the social construct we call politeness!
There is another type of male scammer and that is of a man pretending to be a woman for the purpose of befriending western men for the purpose of acquiring money. I would hope it was obvious that such a person was easy to spot. However, there are many 'lady boys' in Asia who could easily pass as a woman here in the UK. Often looking so feminine that a straight man would find it difficult to tell that he was dealing with another man, literally until the got (ahem) down to business. These scammers use similar tactics to female scammers (see below). However, I do know of some Asian lady boys who are not scammers but are looking to meet a western man to marry (as it is legal here in the UK) for a better life altogether, though such people are honest and quick to mention that they are transgendered.
Female scammers a more prominent and discussed more on this forum and elsewhere in society. And I would break female scammers down into two categories. A: The seasoned and professional scammer. and B: The accidental Scammer.
A: The Professional Scammer.
These women will have a boyfriend in the Philippines and possibly a husband, whilst at the same time dating western men for the financial purposes. They will typically be very beautiful and often well versed in English (even western humour) and be able to talk with the western man with ease. She may also be a little shy or coy at times, all as part of the act to sway the gentleman to thinking she is genuine. There are some ways to spot these women but there is no definite set of rules. One obvious thing is that these women require money, and so the conversation will gear towards money or how she is very poor and needs help, medical or otherwise. She may also profess love very quickly or make it clear she wishes a sexual relationship before marriage. Again, there are no rules and instincts should always be relied upon, as a genuine woman could easily make a western man think she is a scammer.
B: The Accidental Scammer.
These are women who set out to have a relationship but found that their new 'rich' boyfriend was so easy to manipulate, that it was far easier than getting a job to get money. And they will often learn that we in the west can often provide more than the usual low paid work offered in the Philippines. But they will also become accustomed to a lifestyle provided by their 'rich' benefactor and might make the mistake of getting another boyfriend, making mistakes as they are not accustomed to keeping more than one man on the go.
It has also been noted on the Internet that there are girls as young as 15 who have learned from family or friends that a western man is an easy source of income, and so for a few young ladies it might even appear as a career choice. However, these women are truly few and far between when it comes to Filipinas so it should be considered unlikely that you will come across one of these. But if you do, trust your instincts above all else.
My advice to western men embarking on the Internet to seek out their special someone is to (again) trust your instincts! Get a Friendster account and seek out this new lady and see if she has an account, see if she is in a relationship already (you will be surprised how many scammers get caught out by having Friendster profiles with pictures of themselves and their boyfriends), make sure she is not too shy to appear on the webcam to make sure she is indeed a 'she', and make sure she shows you her body (with clothes on you pervs:D - but to also make sure she is not pregnant, as I found out to my cost).
Also note, as documented here countless times. The Philippines is a poor country with wages on a scale you wouldn't pay a 10 year old to wash your car with in the UK. Many Filipinas will be shy to ask for money but could actually do with the help. These are the genuine ladies out there! Most men in a serious relationship will help their loved ones once they have decided that this girl is the one, or at least somebody they think could be the one. So if a Filipina lets you know after some embarrassment that she does not come from a rich family or that they was their clothes by hand. Take it as an honest divulgment and don't react with hostility to it.
But please, please... Do not assume she is a scammer, scammers are in the vast minority of Filipinas and are simply a pitfall to be avoided on the road to happiness. Be safe, be careful, but above all else; be considerate!
Sean
:)