Sad news about Jennifer and Michael

[mickcant]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

[kimmi]

oh Mick, sorry to hear about what happened..I am really lost for words now..

Ur love for her is really unconditional, but she's still coming back here in the UK right?

[mickcant]

oh Mick, sorry to hear about what happened..I am really lost for words now..

Ur love for her is really unconditional, but she's still coming back here in the UK right?

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.

[ViesVies]

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.
Im sorry to read your sad news. Always keep in contact with her because no one knows what the future holds for you both

viesvies

[ginapeterb]

And when the honeymoon is over "!

Hello Mick,

I truly am very sorry to hear of your wife's flight back from Heathrow this morning, I suppose you went to see her off, and are still there, as the flight is going shortly, it must be heartbreaking for you, to have to go through this at such a harrowing moment in your life.

Needless to say, I would want you to know you are not alone in this right now, your friends at this forum are with you, sadly, we know from past experiences, these things do happen from time to time.

Some Filipina's just cannot settle in the UK, no matter how much the support and love from the husband, I remember a couple of years ago, how there was a similar story, and of course many of us might remember, when poor David, lost his wife Jasmine, who died in hospital shortly after child birth.

I remember when David was going through his visa situation, having spoken to him many times on mobile phone, only to find Jasmine safely arrived in UK, and then shortly after, less than a year, the poor guy lost his wife in hospital.

These stories stick in ones mind, and of course your story today will no doubt stick in all our minds, of just how hit and miss the whole matter is, don't always assume in the future, that when this road you travel down, ends up in happiness and a happy love story, if this proves anything, it proves that not is all as it seems for everyone, there are trials and tribulations to go through, getting a positive visa decision and jumping for joy does not always lead to a happy conclusion to what I call the "Philippines project".

I can only say at this time, I am feeling your sorrow and heartache, Jennifer obviously could not settle in the UK, in truth, life here can be dull at times, for Filipina's who are used to the hustle and bustle of cities such as Cagayan de Oro, in this case Jennifer's home town, our quite rural towns and villages can be sometimes depressing.

I am sure now she has boarded, she will be deep in thought about what has happened, the fact that you have paid her flight home, goes to show what sort of man you are, a complete gentleman it seems to me.

And I think your actions in this matter have spoken louder than any words, I am sure many others on this forum would note your gentlemanly behavior in this matter, and hope you stay with us on this forum, I think now Mick its a time to reflect on your situation, perhaps take some time over next few days to see where life will take you, no doubt you are devastated, but I think time itself will be a great healer, in due course, I am sure you will pick up your life again, and in this I wish you very well.

[marlyn&kenny]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

We are very sorry to hear that Jennifer decided to leave you.... Just keep your faith unto the Lord that soon Jennifer will realize how much u love her.

We also pray that you will soon mend whatever trials you have right now, I believe in Love, if there's love between two people; "no matter what happens they will overcome all trials that come their way and hold on to each other because there is love!"

With prayers,

[maria_and_matt]

i am so sorry to hear that mick..

[mickcant]

And when the honeymoon is over "!

Hello Mick,

I truly am very sorry to hear of your wife's flight back from Heathrow this morning, I suppose you went to see her off, and are still there, as the flight is going shortly, it must be heartbreaking for you, to have to go through this at such a harrowing moment in your life.

Needless to say, I would want you to know you are not alone in this right now, your friends at this forum are with you, sadly, we know from past experiences, these things do happen from time to time.

Some Filipina's just cannot settle in the UK, no matter how much the support and love from the husband, I remember a couple of years ago, how there was a similar story, and of course many of us might remember, when poor David, lost his wife Jasmine, who died in hospital shortly after child birth.

I remember when David was going through his visa situation, having spoken to him many times on mobile phone, only to find Jasmine safely arrived in UK, and then shortly after, less than a year, the poor guy lost his wife in hospital.

These stories stick in ones mind, and of course your story today will no doubt stick in all our minds, of just how hit and miss the whole matter is, don't always assume in the future, that when this road you travel down, ends up in happiness and a happy love story, if this proves anything, it proves that not is all as it seems for everyone, there are trials and tribulations to go through, getting a positive visa decision and jumping for joy does not always lead to a happy conclusion to what I call the "Philippines project".

I can only say at this time, I am feeling your sorrow and heartache, Jennifer obviously could not settle in the UK, in truth, life here can be dull at times, for Filipina's who are used to the hustle and bustle of cities such as Cagayan de Oro, in this case Jennifer's home town, our quite rural towns and villages can be sometimes depressing.

I am sure now she has boarded, she will be deep in thought about what has happened, the fact that you have paid her flight home, goes to show what sort of man you are, a complete gentleman it seems to me.

And I think your actions in this matter have spoken louder than any words, I am sure many others on this forum would note your gentlemanly behavior in this matter, and hope you stay with us on this forum, I think now Mick its a time to reflect on your situation, perhaps take some time over next few days to see where life will take you, no doubt you are devastated, but I think time itself will be a great healer, in due course, I am sure you will pick up your life again, and in this I wish you very well.
Thank you Pete,
I took Jennifer to Southampton from our home on the Isle of Wight last night and put her in an Airport transfere taxi to Heathrow, for her flight home. I have an elderly dog I cannot just go off and leave alone.,
I am heart broken and will need time to heal from this, as a much older man than my wife I know many will think I was foolish hoping for love and happiness.
I do of course hope she finds what she wants in life.
Mick.

[Alan]

I echo Peter's sentiments entirely.

I'm sure that most of us have stories to tell.

For myself I remember the day I arrived back from Scotland to find that my ex had left our home, taking our 2 children with her. I had done nothing wrong - it was she who had decided 'shack up' with another man, yet I lost my children!!!!!
The feeling I had was beyond pain.

I feel for you Mick, as I'm sure we all do.

Remember though, you have a family on here - we care.

Onwards and upwards eh?

Al.

[marlyn&kenny]

Hi Kimmi, no as far as I know she will not be coming back to the UK.

She has siblings that she says she cannot trust her father to look after they were born without back passages if you get what I mean, I had allready paid £3000.00 towards the cost and her father was going to pay the rest.

I did offer for us to pay the rest of the cost insted of relying on her father, but she said she still needed to go home.
I do not know wat to do at the moment.
Mick.

Mick, Be strong ! You are a real gentleman like my hubby:BouncyHappy:, We can almost feel how much you are hurting now.But God is so good! Life is still beautiful be firm and try to keep in touch with her....

Im sure you got close friends, try to talk to them, or just stay here in this forum say whats in your heart,in your mind, it may lessen the pain you are feeling right now.

We are here to listen to you, try to comfort you. God bless!

[eleazebonares]

i admire the love you have for her sir.

[eleazebonares]

i admire the love you have for her sir. its not the end.

[D&G]

oh dear what a sad news, Mick :NoNo::NoNo: reading your post really saddened me...

[whiteraven]

hi mick,im so sorry things didnt turn out as you wished or deserved. this is the second time i have had to go through the spousal visa process,my late wife being an american. it takes a long time to get through things like this, i myself was in a dark place mentally for at least six months. what helped me in the end was getting to know new friends and finding a new purpose in life. it will take time and although it may seem hopeless at the moment but things will get better. i hope you keep in touch with your wife and dont bear her any grudge as it seems she has need of support herself. best of luck in the future and stay with us here.

[Sophie]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

Hi mick, i'm so sorry to hear about your wife leaving back to the philippines....
I admire you for being strong and so understanding and supportive to your wife despite the fact that you're hurting inside and in great sadness.....
It just shows how good you are as a person and as a husband and how big and unconditional your love is for your wife.....i hope she realizes that.....
How old are her younger sibblings by the way mick, if you don't mind my asking?

[Tawi2]

I just read your story from the early days through till now,its not your fault mick,be lucky.

[mickcant]

Hi mick, i'm so sorry to hear about your wife leaving back to the philippines....
I admire you for being strong and so understanding and supportive to your wife despite the fact that you're hurting inside and in great sadness.....
It just shows how good you are as a person and as a husband and how big and unconditional your love is for your wife.....i hope she realizes that.....
How old are her younger sibblings by the way mick, if you don't mind my asking?

Hi Sophie, her only brother john mark is 8 and the youngest sister is 11.
She did not live with her family until her mother died then went home to look after the younger siblings as she knew her father would not.
Mick.

[triple5]

Sorry to hear about that, Mick. From reading other posts of yours you seem like a real gent, and you deserve a little better than that. She knew the score with her family before she came to the UK, and 2 weeks isn't really long enough to give things a chance. Anyway, hope it works out somehow for you. Best of luck.

[jane2009]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

Hello Mick,
Im sorry to hear about what happen..you know i kept sending a message to you but i cant send it..i dont know why..im thinking to speak you wife..just pray that everything will be fine..

[GaryFifer]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.

She obviously does not trust the man to take care of the kids. So she runs to her siblings side, to shield them from this nasty man bad influence. Is he really that bad Mick?

Is a Filipino man seen as so stupid he cannot bring a child up? I challenge the Filipinos here to explain this one. Are men looked on as no good with kids? Educate him then, don't take over his duty.

[jaishann]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

sorry to hear that mick.

[Sophie]

Hi Sophie, her only brother john mark is 8 and the youngest sister is 11.
She did not live with her family until her mother died then went home to look after the younger siblings as she knew her father would not.
Mick.

Primarily, my personal view is that you and your marriage should be her top priority now, as you are her family now.....
And her family back home is suppose to be the second priority this time................ideally, that's how it should be....
And for a moment, i felt she was a bit inconsiderate of your feelings and all your efforts, not to mention all the money it cost you for everything......
It's like she let everything down the drain when she decided to leave in just 2 weeks of being here, after such a long wait and much anticipation of her arrival....

But on the otherhand, i also understand how concerned she is of the welfare of her 2 younger sibblings in the hands of their father and stepmother....
I take it she must be carrying the burden of responsibility for her sibblings, with her mother gone and her father having a new family already...
I don't know how bad the situation is, but if she is bothered that much, then probably the situation of her sibblings back home is really bad.....
My only question is how bad is it? Is it bad enough for her to put your marriage on hold and leave it hanging????.....

I really feel for you mick and i feel for your wife too.....I can imagine how tough it must be for both of you and this is a hard situation to go through.....
May you both be able to work this situation out, so your marriage don't suffer much as well as her younger sibblings....
And i really hope you can both sort this out without sacrificing one over the other and vice versa......

[James Hubbard]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.





I agree! :gp::appl:

When she gets married to you she sacrifices her right to do things like this and to take advantage of your good gentlemanly nature.

I can't help but think that you got the short end of the stick that you didn't deserve.

Marriage calls for maturity and sacrifice. You sacrificed. Thousands of pounds, not to mention your blood sweat and tears, just to be slapped in the face with this kind of immature non-sacrificing, selfish, short termed myopia?

:Blacklistthatsucks::HeadButter:

I was delighted when I saw the picture you had put on here a cpl weeks back with her walking thru the terminal. I thought, hopefully, soon that will be my wife, but I got so :yikes::omg: when I read what you had put here.

Heed what triple5 and Gary2J says.

My 2 centavos

Jim Hub

[GaryFifer]

Mick, I guess she wants to jump in as a woman and take her mothers place but I suspect there is a problem between her and her father. Nothing to do with your marriage MICK. Did you have an idea of that? These issues must be put aside for the sake of the children. Perhaps he is not perfect, but he still their father. Everyone should be united in the death of their mother, and work together to build a stable family for the children. Perhaps they can live with their new mommy. I am sure that would cause many problems, but ultimately the kids would adjust.
Ask the kids what they want.Don't forget their opinion. After the dust settles, lets hope you get back on track. Keep your hopes up. This will make your marriage stronger with communication about difficult issues.

[Mrs Daddy]

Oh dear I don`t know what to say but am sorry mick...

[JimOttley]

Really sorry to hear this Mick, very sad for both of you.

When my partner was here in Nov 2007 she lasted a week before the homesickness set in and she was begging me to let her go back, she was only here for a 2 month holiday but it was understandable as our son could not join us at that time. I have watched the pain that my partner was clearly in at that time and I can only imagine that you wife would have been experiencing similar emotions.

In our case Ana went home 2 weeks early and I was very hurt at the time as we had nice things planned that were one off experiences in our lives and were all cast aside.

Ana and I are still together and have two kids now not just the one and yet again she suffered the same homesickness when she had to go to Korea earlier this year even though it was her desire and plan, it really can just be so hard for a Filipina to be separated from her family and familiar surroundings.

So sorry for you both.


Jim

[LEAHnew]

Sorry to hear your story Mick I know how you feel:cwm34:

It's really hard to let go of someone you love because of many complications around:bigcry::NoNo::NoNo:..well all we need to do just to be strong and move on...life goes on:cwm34:

[Bluebirdjones]

As much as I’m sad to hear of the demise of this relationship (and let’s be honest, it’s over, it’s dead, it’s finished…. there is no way back for either party), it also highlights the fact(s) many have alluded to on this site….
… namely ….
The greater the age difference, the greater the difficulties in adapting to each others’ needs and desires
The greater the baggage…. the greater the chances of an unsuccessful relationship.

These are facts, not thoughts or theories …. FACTS.

It’s difficult enough conducting a long-distance relationship, let alone with these factors also involved.
The fact that you cannot meet/see each other on a regular basis for lunch, dinner, the cinema, the pub, walks, etc etc means that one has to rely on cams & messenger chats….. not ideal.
The 1 – 2 visits (in most cases) to the Philippines cannot present the full picture…. merely a snapshot.
And many feel that once they have met in the “flesh”, in person, they then feel obliged to move forward to the inevitable conclusion.

So make it easier for yourself ! Just because the potential bride / bridegroom “scrubs up” well, and has a pleasing personality on messenger, it is not the be-all and end-all.
Be more selective in the first instance on who you talk to, strike up a relationship with….. be aware of each other’s lives / traits/ “baggage”…… be aware of the problems that are likely (and will) to occur.
And be honest with each other, and more importantly yourself, and be prepared to say ….”I’m sorry, this in not what I want”.

Then, and only then, will the chances of both parties living together in a happy, long-term relationship be fulfilled.

Once again…. Mick, sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in.

[Leo]

Hi Mick my thougths are with you at this time all you can do is hope and pray all of this can be worked out time is a great healer god bless you Mick

[monkeyface]

I am very sorry to hear about your story.
You were very brave to do what you've done. Once again, you have proven her how much you truly love her and I admire you for that.
Time heal all wounds.. Be strong.
Take care.

[Tawi2]

Eloquently put BlueBird,I read micks story from the early days,the lady went AWOL,didnt bother TXT'ing or mailing for a period of time,took money,a whole plethora of things that gave bad vibes from the outset,theres no smile on the ladies face as she arrives at heathrow,move on with your life mick,go with your gut instincts,they are natures inbuilt survival mechanism.

[alicat]

Sorry to hear that Mick,you know i tried to help her,the last time i
spoke to her,she said that she just want to go home.I have no idea
whats going on between you too.Anyway hope it works out somehow
for you.Take care always and Godspeed.

[Jonnywina]

I am deeply sad about what happened to you and your wife. I admire your kindness towards her even though deep down inside, you are hurting. When will you get over this sad thing? time can only tell :( You are a good person Mick..it just shows you love her unconditionally. To your wife, she should have put you first. You are his family now. You deserve a lot better than that. Hope one day she'll realize how much you love her, and when that time comes I hope she is never that late to win you back :(

You just stay strong..take your time..I'm sure there is nothing, that time has not healed. Your pain will soon go away in god's perfect time.

I feel homesick too but thoughts of going back to the philippines has never entered my mind. Ofcourse I miss my family back home, but my husband is my family now. He comes first and I love him more than anything :)

[Tawi2]

Mick,through your posts you come across as a gentleman,someone who really cared for his lady,and a guy who is thoroughly decent,I wish you well in life,I can understand that today has knocked you but its not the end,its just one of those bumps we all hit on a straight stretch,always try and be upbeat whatevers thrown at you,wish you luck in the future.

[mickcant]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.

She obviously does not trust the man to take care of the kids. So she runs to her siblings side, to shield them from this nasty man bad influence. Is he really that bad Mick?

Is a Filipino man seen as so stupid he cannot bring a child up? I challenge the Filipinos here to explain this one. Are men looked on as no good with kids? Educate him then, don't take over his duty.

Thank you for your advice.
Her fathers 2nd family are seperate from Jennifers family.
they know about each other but do not mix.
Many things I have given to Jennifer for her family her dad has taken to his 2nd family.
How could I keep her here as she was crying to go back to the philippines.
She would not let me cuddle her even.
Mick.

[James Hubbard]

How could I keep her here as she was crying to go back to the philippines.
She would not let me cuddle her even.
Mick.

Sir, personally I think that it was premature . . . it was only two weeks. I think you could have told her to stay here for a number of months and if she still felt the same way, she could go back.

But, all things considered, given the history of your relationship, the course of events that happened could have been predicted, cooler heads prevailing. Of course, I know what it is to be blinded by love :ARsurrender:

You are a true gentleman, but you got walked over. I think you could have been tougher ... :(

[liane]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened, I know how painful it was for you. She could have given it some thoughts before deciding to go back here in Philippines. I hope she will realized soon that your relationship is what matters most. Just give it a time.

[Ann07]

Im so sorry Mick. Hope you will be together again :)

[GaryFifer]

Do you think Jennifer sees it as her responsibility to look after her siblings. Or is she just upset at the great change in her life. Why does she believe that she alone must do it?

[mickcant]

Sir, personally I think that it was premature . . . it was only two weeks. I think you could have told her to stay here for a number of months and if she still felt the same way, she could go back.

But, all things considered, given the history of your relationship, the course of events that happened could have been predicted, cooler heads prevailing. Of course, I know what it is to be blinded by love :ARsurrender:

You are a true gentleman, but you got walked over. I think you could have been tougher ... :(
Hi, do you not think I tried my best to get her to stay!!!!
I could have been branded anythink if I kept her here against her will!
I love Jennifer very much.
I realise two weeks is too short to judge on, When we married I was there 2 months, I would have willingly lived there _if_ she wanted me to and I could afford to.
Mick.

[New Shoes]

Hi Mick,

I've read the previous posts on your relationship with this girl and a huge amount of advice given to you at time was saying drop her, she will bring you down. It looks like that advice was not heeded and the predictions have turned out to be true. In one thread you mentioned your savings, I hope these are still intact, or has more good money been thrown after bad? I agree with Tawi2, this girl did not look particularly happy upon arrival and I feel she certainly hasn't really given you any reasonable length of time to get used to her new situation/life.

In my view, for compatability issues, it's probably better to engage in relationships where the lady at least belongs to the same generation as yourself.

[mickcant]

Do you think Jennifer sees it as her responsibility to look after her siblings. Or is she just upset at the great change in her life. Why does she believe that she alone must do it?

Hi yes Jennifer does think she is responible for her younger siblings, her father dissapears for days on end when with his woman and other family.
Jennifer kept saying she needed to start a bussness to keep her sibilings in food.
We of course know the father would just take everything for the other family.
There is nobody in the family working.
Mick.

[GaryFifer]

Hi, do you not think I tried my best to get her to stay!!!!
I could have been branded anythink if I kept her here against her will!
I love Jennifer very much.
I realise two weeks is too short to judge on, When we married I was there 2 months, I would have willingly lived there _if_ she wanted me to and I could afford to.
Mick.

You respected her needs.:xxgrinning--00xx3:I hope she does the same for you. No cuddles is mad! Why bloody not, after everything you do.

I mean you fought all that red tape to get her here, and she disappears. I guess once she solves those problems, she can be back again. Talk about it the issues that affect you both.

You need to tell her how this makes you feel. You needs were not fulfill.:Help1:

[mickcant]

Hi Mick,

I've read the previous posts on your relationship with this girl and a huge amount of advice given to you at time was saying drop her, she will bring you down. It looks like that advice was not heeded and the predictions have turned out to be true. In one thread you mentioned your savings, I hope these are still intact, or has more good money been thrown after bad? I agree with Tawi2, this girl did not look particularly happy upon arrival and I feel she certainly hasn't really given you any reasonable length of time to get used to her new situation/life.

In my view, for compatability issues, it's probably better to engage in relationships where the lady at least belongs to the same generation as yourself.
Hi, I have given her £3,000 towards the operations for her siblings, and did yesterday offer to pay the full cost of the treatment, she then thought I would give her the money to go home with.
I did explain that if she went I could only pay her travelling expenses.
On the age difference I did point that out to her when we met online in 2007, she said she had been let down by a man her own age and wanted to meet somone older! of course I was happy to hear that.
I realise I have been a silly old fool, and will lick my wounds.
Mick.

[GaryFifer]

Hi yes Jennifer does think she is responible for her younger siblings, her father dissapears for days on end when with his woman and other family.
Jennifer kept saying she needed to start a bussness to keep her sibilings in food.
We of course know the father would just take everything for the other family.
There is nobody in the family working.
Mick.

You seem to have a bad view of this man Mick. He obviously takes care of his woman and child in a new relationship. Is your view coloured by Jennifer? Have you met him? I wish you could talk to him clear. After all he is Jennifer father.

Perhaps she has animosity towards him, but was she was never there when they kids were with their mother, so she might be feeling guilty.

They are his responsibility now the mother has passed away.

Perhaps he was not in love with his ex wife, and tried again with a lady. Jennifer probably hates her?

As for the comment-Disappears for days on end? Most Filipino men I know are never at home, and are usually out working on tricycles or driving jeepney. What does he do?

I think you need to investigate what she plans to do for the future. Whatever decision she makes, affects her husband YOU. I am sure you feel left out of this situation and a bit annoyed too.

[mickcant]

You respected her needs.:xxgrinning--00xx3:I hope she does the same for you. No cuddles is mad! Why bloody not, after everything you do.

I mean you fought all that red tape to get her here, and she disappears. I guess once she solves those problems, she can be back again. Talk about it the issues that affect you both.

You need to tell her how this makes you feel. You needs were not fulfill.:Help1:

Hi, Jennifer will not be coming back as far as I know.
She would ask me for the money first.
Mick.

[New Shoes]

[QUOTE=mickcant;181936]Hi, I have given her £3,000 towards the operations for her siblings, and did yesterday offer to pay the full cost of the treatment, she then thought I would give her the money to go home with.
QUOTE]

Unfortunately, I see that as another red flag.
Probably hard to realise it at the moment, but I think you're better off out
of this relationship.

I feel for you, I can only imagine the mixed feelings you're experiencing at the moment. Good luck in the future

[GaryFifer]

Hi, Jennifer will not be coming back as far as I know.
She would ask me for the money first.
Mick.

Keep your money, then go visit her.

Then you will find out whats really going on in the situation. After all a husband has a right to know. Have you seen photos of the situation? All Filipinos have camera phones, so no excuse for her not to send u a picture of where she is and what she is doing.

[triple5]

Hi, Jennifer will not be coming back as far as I know.
She would ask me for the money first.
Mick.

Do you think you'll go visit her then when the dusts settled?

[September]

Hi, Jennifer will not be coming back as far as I know.
She would ask me for the money first.
Mick.

I Hate to say this Sir, but she never appreciate all your efforts aside spending £ for the visa/airfare and just in 2 weeks,she never had second thought of going back in PI, just a friendly advice, try to refuse or say no, if she ask for money, or financial support, when you say she isnt coming back, that sounds to me she end up the relationship, move on lwe only had one life to live, dont waste it by others making us upset

Best wishes and all the best in the future

[September]

Do you think you'll go visit her then when the dusts settled?

I would not suggest for Mick to do that, I hope not

[James Hubbard]

I Hate to say this Sir, but she never appreciate all your efforts aside spending £ for the visa/airfare and just in 2 weeks,she never had second thought of going back in PI, just a friendly advice, try to refuse or say no, if she ask for money, or financial support, when you say she isnt coming back, that sounds to me she end up the relationship, move on lwe only had one life to live, dont waste it by others making us upset


Pretty much sums up my thoughts

[IainBusby]

I'm very sorry to hear that Mick. I would have thought that after all of the effort you have put into the getting married, getting the visa and bringing her here to the UK, all of which are things she must have wanted also at some point, not to mention the money you have spent, that she would have given it a decent chance and at least have stayed a few months before making this decision.

I think she has been extremely selfish and very unfair to you and if I were you, I would have no more contact with her and I would put this whole sorry epsisode behind me and move on.

Iain.

[triple5]

I would have no more contact with her and I would put this whole sorry epsisode behind me and move on.

Easier said than done when they're married.

[IainBusby]

Easier said than done when they're married.

I never said it would be easy, but when things come to a point where there doesn't seem to be anything to hold on to or to build on, then I believe that you have to face reality and move on, however hard and painful that may be.
Iain.

[GaryFifer]

Hey c'mon she only went back to take care of the kids, why is everyone saying its the end of the world?

[mickcant]

I'm very sorry to hear that Mick. I would have thought that after all of the effort you have put into the getting married, getting the visa and bringing her here to the UK, all of which are things she must have wanted also at some point, not to mention the money you have spent, that she would have given it a decent chance and at least have stayed a few months before making this decision.

I think she has been extremely selfish and very unfair to you and if I were you, I would have no more contact with her and I would put this whole sorry epsisode behind me and move on.

Iain.
Thank you Iain,
your advice is very welcolmed, I am very stunned at the moment but do think your advice sound,
Mick

[lizaphil]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.

hi mick,im just reading your post,
i cant understand your wife why she need to leave you,yea i understand because of her sister and brother, but her dad is there to look after them,

when i get married with my hubby and he said i need to go with him here in the uk....i dont want because i am leaving my son, but he give me a choice
he said do you want to come with me?
or you stay here,untill 3years time you ganna wait untill you see me,
so i deside to come with my hubby,because i love him, so thats why i am saying to your wife, she should stay with you for a couple of months because
you did not see each other for a year?
but that is my opinion
mick
but i am so sad for you :NoNo::NoNo:

[GaryFifer]

hi mick,im just reading your post,
i cant understand your wife why she need to leave you,yea i understand because of her sister and brother, but her dad is there to look after them,

when i get married with my hubby and he said i need to go with him here in the uk....i dont want because i am leaving my son, but he give me a choice
he said do you want to come with me?
or you stay here,untill 3years time you ganna wait untill you see me,
so i deside to come with my hubby,because i love him, so thats why i am saying to your wife, she should stay with you for a couple of months because
you did not see each other for a year?
but that is my opinion
mick
but i am so sad for you :NoNo::NoNo:

You make even bigger sacrifice Liza:xxgrinning--00xx3: as you son is waiting. Will you see him soon? Wish you luck too

[James Hubbard]

Hey c'mon she only went back to take care of the kids, why is everyone saying its the end of the world?

Ya, what I want to know from Mick is ... is it the end of the relationship and therefore marriage now, or is there a future?

What do you think mick bud?

[lizaphil]

You make even bigger sacrifice Liza:xxgrinning--00xx3: as you son is waiting. Will you see him soon? Wish you luck too

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much :bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:

[GaryFifer]

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much :bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:

I miss my baby too. I have not seen him in real yet. He is big boy but I know I will never give up hope see him. Do you record your talk on video? I always record him on video and watch him. Makes me smile always.

[Queenbee]

thanks gary2jessica
yea i know since i come here
never been seen my son yet and that is about 2years and 2months
but i see him on webcome on ym ,call him nearly everyday,and he is only 6years old
i mis him so much :bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:

oh god me so can relate to that lizaphil but me was workin as a musician in HK,soo hard...he's almost 8 now... So about 2 years went home,as im not already happy anyayzzz,smetimes theres always a time when yah just want to chill a bit...
My boyfriend is smewhat worried if the time comes me get married and all it stil takes time to get ma son right???worried id be homesick and stuff...im more actually worried about ma parents cz they treated ma son as their own child,actually spoils him more than me,,hehehe
I kno theyre gonna be heartbroken if its time that he gets to be with me....
But like lizaphil said if the other one just gave up and uses sibling whatsoever,thats just proves that her love is not that strong...I think everyone wants to be long to someone,One uah could go home to and share al yah joys and pains.There's always a little bit sacrifice to get what u want.She had a choice..I think one should never settle for anything less..Everybody deserves to be happy...So mick choose to be happy!:D

[estherboaz]

sorry to hear that mick...Hope one day you will be really happy and get the happiness you deserve...

[laurel]

Mick , just want to pass on my thoughts and best wishes to you. Im gutted for you after reading this....dont know you from Adam but I feel so sad for you.
Stay strong!!!

[Peanutz]

I hope you overcome all this Mick, the show must go on...I wish you all the best.

[MarBell379]

I'm gutted for you Mick.
My fiancee has been here 10 days now and I know how I'd feel if she decided to return home. I'm not going to give any advice - you've had it from all angles now anyway.
My thoughts are with you though.
Be strong, fella. The feelings are horrible now I'm certain, but they will mellow with time.

[acs]

so sad to read your story mick. I'm from Cagayan de Oro too and been here in the uk almost 10 months now and from time to time misses my mother and siblings back in the Philippines. just like to ask though if you dont mind me asking,Does Jennifer have any communication with other Filipina in your area? Or someone she can pour herself into, i know she's with you only for a very short while,maybe her mind is very preoccupied in things back home and no one she can talk to that can give her advices that everything will all be sorted back home even if she's not there . Sometimes it really also good she can talk to someone. The amount of money, time and effort you invested on your relationship is so big already, i hope and pray one day it will be sorted out for both of you. I wish you all the best.

[LadyJ]

Hi Mick Im so shocked and saddened to hear this story, please be strong...that's all I can say.

[mickcant]

so sad to read your story mick. I'm from Cagayan de Oro too and been here in the uk almost 10 months now and from time to time misses my mother and siblings back in the Philippines. just like to ask though if you dont mind me asking,Does Jennifer have any communication with other Filipina in your area? Or someone she can pour herself into, i know she's with you only for a very short while,maybe her mind is very preoccupied in things back home and no one she can talk to that can give her advices that everything will all be sorted back home even if she's not there . Sometimes it really also good she can talk to someone. The amount of money, time and effort you invested on your relationship is so big already, i hope and pray one day it will be sorted out for both of you. I wish you all the best.

Hello ACS,
I Yes their is another Filipina living nearby.
Jennifer has had contact with her siblings every day.
I set up Skype for her to call her sisters every day by phone or text she hgad 2 new phones.
MJick.
She has gone from here now.

[ron]

Hi Mick im so sorry and feel your saddness at this time. I can truly undertstand your thoughts and feelings. A marriage should be together no matter how things are. I really hope she will realise that this is a committment. The way you have committed the love for your wife .......



Ron

[bornatbirth]

hi mick

im not sure how you will feel,probably gutted?

after reading when your wife disappeared with the visa fee,i was surprised that she came here,so i was thinking maybe shes not so bad and willing to make it work.

i dont think this as anything to do with a age gap more of a culture gap,not micks but his wifes...whats that :Erm: you can take the filipina out of the philipines but cant take the philipines out of the filipina?

when we get into LDR's,first we need is trust then we need the truth.

after meeting online we need to build a relationship with the person we are chatting to and learn to trust them,then we make the big step to go and see them to see if everything they have been chatting about is the truth.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

before you even thought about marring her,you should of know all about her families situation,how do you know everything shes saying about her family is for real?

im not sure if shes just after your money or her family are some excuse to go back home,it like she only needs you when she needs money and then disappears.

can i ask how well do you know her families background ie are they poor or better off and everything shes telling you is the truth?

after just 2 weeks here shes already back home and you think she wont come back,are you sure she was really interested in a relationship with you or getting married because her families situation would of been the same before you met!

telling you to stop wasting any more time or money on her is easy but somehow the next time you talk and she asks for money,you have your answer :Erm:

goodluck my friend! :D

[Piamed]

Mick, I'm too stunned by what has happened to make a meaningful contribution but please know you are in our thoughts!!!

[tiN]

Hi Mick,

Im really sorry for what happened, but I know you'll get through it .. :xxgrinning--00xx3:


All the best :)

tin & Paul

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Mickant,

I was stunned by your post. I can't believe a spouse would just decide to leave only after 2 weeks:doh:doh. In my opinion, she just married for money, pls excuse me this is just my opinion and maybe wrong for some on here. Based on your previous posts and this latest, this is what i have in mind. It would be acceptable if the homesickness is due to her son or daughter left behind but her reason was to be with her sister and brother. She has a father and step mum to take care of them. She decided to get married with you and so has to keep with that commitment. She neglected you and had stepped on your rights. I suppose that is already in her plan which is to get married to you, process the visa, get into the UK then leave because her love is not that strong. If the love is strong it won't happen this way. She will stay with you no matter what.

There are some members here who have son(s) and/or daughter(s) left behind but because they have come to a decision to be with their husbands hence the sacrifice to be away from them although plans are working out for their children to be here soon. I salute these mums they were able to make sacrifice for the sake of their husbands!!:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yes there is a great difference when it comes to neighbourhood and culture but once she noticed the difference, a two-week decision to leave the country is not reasonable or acceptable:NoNo:. No need to elaborate on this for everyone knows the difference. I'm sure the age gap is not the reason. There are many filipinas with great age gap but are in a happy relationship.

I hope you will be able to move on very soon. You are a very loving man i can tell in your posts:xxgrinning--00xx3:. You love your wife very much and was so blind to see her doing such painful and inconsiderate acts on you. All your time and money went down the drain.:doh

Wish you will get out of this situation soon. All the best.
Regards,
P&P

[sparky]

Mick

i dont know you being relativley new member here but my heart goes out to you.
i have been in a similar situation myself in the past albeit with a thai lady who couldnt settle here so i know the numbness that you will be feeling right now

no words of condolance can help right now but there are others out there that are thinking of you and hoping that you will be ok and come out of this stronger

[Dedworth]

Very sorry to read all this. Tomorrow's another day Mick, I wish you lots of luck.

[eagles]

Hi mick, its sad to hear your story.. But its best that you have known her desires deeply at this early time. As others say it- She had married you and her commitment should be to you, but in a matter of 2 weeks- she realized that its not..

Move on.

You got a golden heart:Hellooo:

[GaryFifer]

Let us know how you are doing Mick. A cup of kindness does you good,but alas, you are still left with your own thoughts. I hope you talk about it when you feel ready.

[jam07]

Hello alll,
I am very sad to say that Jennifer my wife who came to the UK only two weeks ago today on the 29th September decided yesterday that she wanted to go home.
I tried my best to help her with her home sickness, she said she felt guilty leaving her younger siblings with her father who also has another family with anouther woman for many years, with children the same age as Jennifer.

She is now at Heathrow Airport, for a flight at 10.30 am.
Older members may remember we had some problems after we married on 8th April 2008 and Jennifer then dissapeared going i found out to Manila from their home in Cagayan De Oro City.

I of course still love Jennifer very much and am very sad she has left, I felt I had no option than to pay her travel cost home even though I did not want her to go.
Thank you everone.
Mick.


this is such a sad story to read :(

sorry that she went back to PI after all the things you did to her... but letting go of her and respecting her decision only shows how gentleman, kind and loving you are...

i know you are under gray skies now, dont worry, the sun will shine again...

:)

[aromulus]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.

[D&G]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.



:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

:iagree:

[walesrob]

this is such a sad story to read :(

sorry that she went back to PI after all the things you did to her... but letting go of her and respecting her decision only shows how gentleman, kind and loving you are...

i know you are under gray skies now, dont worry, the sun will shine again...

:)

Agreed.

Mick, I was also stunned to read your story, I agree with most people on this forum that its probably best to put this behind you, and get on with life.

Good luck for the future. :)

[mickcant]

Mick....

I do feel absolutely gutted for you.

And I take this sad occasion to agree with some other members, there is no need to dwell in the past, and your main concern should be to start to move on.

To me, it seems that her heart was not in it from the start, and you have done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.

Raise your chin, start divorce proceedings, cease all contact and money sending and look forward to a better future.
Who knows...? The real gem may just be around that corner.

She is not your responsability anymore, mate.

All the best.

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.

[paulgee]

Hi Mick,
We are really sad the way things ended between you and Jennifer. But sometimes, things happened for a reason. Take this as a stepping stone to move on and live your life to the fullest.We know how hard and painful this is for you,entrust all this things to God and hold on to your faith. Don't give up, "there's always a light at the end of the darkness".

Shirley and Paul

[ginapeterb]

Lessons can be learned, and experiences make us wiser the 2nd time around


I think by now, Mick knows where he stands, it would be easy to carry out a post mortem on Jennifer and her motives, I think reading between the lines, we all get a general picture of what her motives were.

Whether we carry out an online forum post mortem, and follow the evidence as they do in CSI, remembering what Grissom says, we don't seek to investigate the WHY'S we only investigate as to how and when !

The WHY'S are very difficult to investigate, and gathering quantative evidence, i.e. money sent, fees paid, allowances given, material objects bestowed, will never really give us the Why's only what social science academics, call Qualitative evidence gathered over time in objective studies, will we start to gain some insight as to why someone like Jennifer will take the course of action she did.

Qualitative evidence can be easily obtained from previous experiences of similar cases, Mick now has a good amount of experience in dealing with Jennifer to get some understanding of the Why's of the matter.

But in my experience of hearing many such stories, I always seem to pin it down to needs and Agenda's for one Needs, hers !, Agenda's hers also, are not often met in the relationship, the needs come from the Agenda, and if the needs are not met, and do not fit with the Agenda, then the relationship will crumble and collapse shortly after.

I did not hear earlier about Mick's wife Jennifer running off with the visa fee, and if this is true, i.e. disappearing out of sight for a few days, with the visa fee, and spending it on something else, that was already a crack starting to appear.

If you take collectively the experiences of everyone on this forum who is interested in this story, I doubt whether many would subscribe to the experience that their partner ran off with the visa fee, and spent the money on other things, that at the time, had a higher priority and need than getting a visa to come to UK.

If that is the case, and I suspect it is, then you would have to say, that Jennifer's evidenciary behavior shows signs of someone who would not play ball for the whole course of the relationship.

Sometimes, it has been said, that when all the signs are there, we do not want to see them, when friends tell us, "She is not good for you", "She is a money grabber", "She is just after your money" or "This girl will break your heart", we tend not to believe them, since we follow the heart and not the head, even when the head is clearly telling us, we are going to get hurt.

In this case, I am sure if Mick examines, all the evidence he can gather, he would have seen that there was a reasonable chance that this woman, would be likely not to last the course, and yet he decided to go on with this project, he is entitled to do that, and to go to the lengths of getting a marriage contract to this woman, he has stayed the course, I am happy to hear that Mick has decided that he will not now send any more money, and I suspect that when he switches off the tap, and their are no more remittances, the contact will also disappear quite fast.

Aromulus has stated in his post, that Mick should start divorce proceedings, and if the marriage has subsisted for 12 months, he could do that almost certainly straight away, desertion comes to mind, and I think that is what will be the reason.

As some one else in their post said, "Its easy to tell someone to drop her, but not so easy when you are married" that is also true, and messy as well, as I said in an earlier post, Mick doesnt need to hear how he got it wrong, I think his intentions were honourable, and it was his desire to be happy, and he tried to make that happen, sadly, this did not work, I think now is the time to rally round Mick and tell him, he is in our thoughts, and we seem to have done that.

I hope Mick does not give up, in truth, I hope he puts this behind him quickly, and to be honest, I hope he starts to find a girlfriend quickly, in my experience, if he does, this will soon be a passing memory, Get cracking Mick, make today the 1st day of the rest of your life, we are with you all the way. !

[ViesVies]

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.
Mick please dont send funds as I feel that if wife asks for funds for what ever reason, she is with you for funds and not love. There are some genuine phils out here who ask for love and nothing more. Please Im not saying your Jeniffer was not genuine, not at all. I can not give you advice but I can say my thoughts are with you.

ViesVies

[Sophie]

Thank you,
I bought her flight back home and gave her money, she will not get any more, I have had text from her family that they are in need, but when Jennifer left they are not my main concern, I am worried about them but Jennifer has ended the marriage.
Mick.

Good decision mick :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:
You're such a kind and honourable man, you truly deserve better and she's so not worthy of you.....

I suspect she will contact you the moment she ran out of money and if you refuse, she may come up with false stories
probably about someone dying in her family or herself having a serious illness, just to manipulate you into sending her money,
she may concoct any form of drama and script just to play on your kindness and vulnerability.....don't ever fall for that mick....

She cannot just disregard you and take your feelings for granted and and walk out on your marriage and get away with it
without facing the consequences of her selfish actions and her inconsiderate & uncaring behavior......Sorry if i've been so blunt about this mick.....

[angel1231]

Maybe there is something deeper than her excuse for leaving the uk...but im sure thing will get better just give it a time......:Erm:

[IainBusby]

Lessons can be learned, and experiences make us wiser the 2nd time around


I think by now, Mick knows where he stands, it would be easy to carry out a post mortem on Jennifer and her motives, I think reading between the lines, we all get a general picture of what her motives were.

Whether we carry out an online forum post mortem, and follow the evidence as they do in CSI, remembering what Grissom says, we don't seek to investigate the WHY'S we only investigate as to how and when !

The WHY'S are very difficult to investigate, and gathering quantative evidence, i.e. money sent, fees paid, allowances given, material objects bestowed, will never really give us the Why's only what social science academics, call Qualitative evidence gathered over time in objective studies, will we start to gain some insight as to why someone like Jennifer will take the course of action she did.

Qualitative evidence can be easily obtained from previous experiences of similar cases, Mick now has a good amount of experience in dealing with Jennifer to get some understanding of the Why's of the matter.

But in my experience of hearing many such stories, I always seem to pin it down to needs and Agenda's for one Needs, hers !, Agenda's hers also, are not often met in the relationship, the needs come from the Agenda, and if the needs are not met, and do not fit with the Agenda, then the relationship will crumble and collapse shortly after.

I did not hear earlier about Mick's wife Jennifer running off with the visa fee, and if this is true, i.e. disappearing out of sight for a few days, with the visa fee, and spending it on something else, that was already a crack starting to appear.

If you take collectively the experiences of everyone on this forum who is interested in this story, I doubt whether many would subscribe to the experience that their partner ran off with the visa fee, and spent the money on other things, that at the time, had a higher priority and need than getting a visa to come to UK.

If that is the case, and I suspect it is, then you would have to say, that Jennifer's evidenciary behavior shows signs of someone who would not play ball for the whole course of the relationship.

Sometimes, it has been said, that when all the signs are there, we do not want to see them, when friends tell us, "She is not good for you", "She is a money grabber", "She is just after your money" or "This girl will break your heart", we tend not to believe them, since we follow the heart and not the head, even when the head is clearly telling us, we are going to get hurt.

In this case, I am sure if Mick examines, all the evidence he can gather, he would have seen that there was a reasonable chance that this woman, would be likely not to last the course, and yet he decided to go on with this project, he is entitled to do that, and to go to the lengths of getting a marriage contract to this woman, he has stayed the course, I am happy to hear that Mick has decided that he will not now send any more money, and I suspect that when he switches off the tap, and their are no more remittances, the contact will also disappear quite fast.

Aromulus has stated in his post, that Mick should start divorce proceedings, and if the marriage has subsisted for 12 months, he could do that almost certainly straight away, desertion comes to mind, and I think that is what will be the reason.

As some one else in their post said, "Its easy to tell someone to drop her, but not so easy when you are married" that is also true, and messy as well, as I said in an earlier post, Mick doesnt need to hear how he got it wrong, I think his intentions were honourable, and it was his desire to be happy, and he tried to make that happen, sadly, this did not work, I think now is the time to rally round Mick and tell him, he is in our thoughts, and we seem to have done that.

I hope Mick does not give up, in truth, I hope he puts this behind him quickly, and to be honest, I hope he starts to find a girlfriend quickly, in my experience, if he does, this will soon be a passing memory, Get cracking Mick, make today the 1st day of the rest of your life, we are with you all the way. !

Well summarised as always Pete. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[GaryFifer]

Can any contact her a her city? Find out what is going to happen.

[September]

we are with you all the way. !

Although I am new, my wish for you comes from my heart,All the very best on your future :cwm38:

[September]

Can any contact her a her city? Find out what is going to happen.

Then he will still follow her, and cant move on to his new life ?

[reaandandrew]

this is one of saddest thread i have ever read in this forum... im sorry to hear this mick.. i am new here, but i would like to let u know my thoughts are with u. don't loose hope.. everyone on this forum are with u..

[GaryFifer]

Then he will still follow her, and cant move on to his new life ?

No, I guess he has to contact her if he want divorce. I haven't heard from Mick saying he has given up on her. Whats going on?

[Arthur Little]

:Erm: It's greatly heartening to observe how many of Mick's friends and co-forumers have rallied round to sustain and support him throughout this harrowing experience. But, as Mick himself is aware ... and fully understands ... I've chosen to send him a message privately.

In the circumstances, therefore, I know he can count on the continuing thoughts and prayers of EVERYONE HERE, on his behalf. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

Sometimes its best just to close the door quietly on an incident,leave the memories locked inside the room and walk away.

[pennybarry]

I am so sad about what happened with you and Jenny, knowing how much you love her and knew your story. I just don't understand her:bigcry:.
But please Mick. there's always good reason why things happened.

I remember when I married my husband. I was so worry about my loving Mom. I was thinking who will look after my Mom, I love her and I always think before that I can find 10 husbands but not a mother like mine. I always feel horrible and always shared my husband about my worries. My Mom also worried about me, and that bothers me more. She said, I will have different life onced I joined with my husband and also living with mother in Law.
Thanks God, we sorted this and hubby agreed that I can visit my Mom once a year or even twice. And lucky to have lovely in-laws:xxgrinning--00xx3::D But still I feel I miss my Nanay terribly. :Brick::CompBuster: I miss my sisters and brothers and friends:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:
But I love my husband too.:Brick::D:icon_lol:

Mick, cheer up! there are many ladies around.:Rasp:
Just want you to smile.
God bless us!

[KeithD]

Terribly sorry about the news Mick.

I've been trying to send mine back for years but she refuses to budge :bigcry:

Just get psst, post all your waffle on here, then ask me to delete it when you reread it sober :cwm24:

[James Hubbard]

Terribly sorry about the news Mick.

I've been trying to send mine back for years but she refuses to budge :bigcry:

Just get psst, post all your waffle on here, then ask me to delete it when you reread it sober :cwm24:

Dude, If you're gonna drink, I currently suggest Bailey's Irish Cream. My wife tried it and now i'm hooked on it! :omg::omg: Until I realised it's 828 peso here and 17 quidz when shopping in tesco :yikes::yikes::yikes:

all joking aside ...
anyhowz, how are you holding up mate?:ARsurrender:

[Peanutz]

Terribly sorry about the news Mick.

I've been trying to send mine back for years but she refuses to budge :bigcry:

Just get psst, post all your waffle on here, then ask me to delete it when you reread it sober :cwm24:


:icon_lol:

You are not going to have any dinner tonight!

Ate Pingggggggg!:icon_lol:

[James Hubbard]

:icon_lol:

You are not going to have any dinner tonight!

Ate Pingggggggg!:icon_lol:

or maybe it'll be spiked with tanduay :):yikes:

[Pepe n Pilar]

Dude, If you're gonna drink, I currently suggest Bailey's Irish Cream. My wife tried it and now i'm hooked on it! :omg::omg: Until I realised it's 828 peso here and 17 quidz when shopping in tesco : yikes::yikes::yikes:



Yea Baileys Irish Cream is perfect for my brewed coffee (Colombian):xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:, with demerara sugar:xxgrinning--00xx3:. I used to buy this in the Phils before it was not that much. Yes it is already £17.00 in Tesco.

[lizaphil]

Keep your money, then go visit her.

Then you will find out whats really going on in the situation. After all a husband has a right to know. Have you seen photos of the situation? All Filipinos have camera phones, so no excuse for her not to send u a picture of where she is and what she is doing.

:gp::gp::iagree:with you gary

[joebloggs]

sorry Mick :NoNo:

your wife is not the first to go back to the Phils after a few weeks or months, socool007's wife went back to the phils recently to :cwm24:, i just hope these 2 are the last ones to leave so quick.

sorry for you both :bigcry:

[marlyn&kenny]

I don't care about her siblings. Strong words right? But this is your partnership right. It is always messed up with extended family problems. Noone cared about your feelings. I am sure you are feeling a mixture of anger and betrayal at the same time. Difficult emotions.

She married you. You are more important. She knew that when she said those words. Or perhaps they were meaningless to her. I am disappointed. I thought Filipinos were Christian, god fearing and true to their word.
She should put you first.That's her duty as a wife. Get her back over here. You should not have let her get her own way. It was immature of her,and she put herself first. It shows she does not care of your feelings.

She obviously does not trust the man to take care of the kids. So she runs to her siblings side, to shield them from this nasty man bad influence. Is he really that bad Mick?

Is a Filipino man seen as so stupid he cannot bring a child up? I challenge the Filipinos here to explain this one. Are men looked on as no good with kids? Educate him then, don't take over his duty.

Hi Gary! I can see why you feel that way.... But mind you not all filipino portray the good filipino character(as no one is perfect in this world) Dont get me wrong, maybe Jennifer's father is one of those irresponsible filipino father....:cwm23:
I can vouch my father as one of those few good filipino father:BouncyHappy:
Im sure your wife's father is a good man too...:BouncyHappy:

[jam07]

Terribly sorry about the news Mick.

I've been trying to send mine back for years but she refuses to budge :bigcry:

Just get psst, post all your waffle on here, then ask me to delete it when you reread it sober :cwm24:

oh boss! :rolleyes: :cwm34: :icon_lol:


:icon_lol:

You are not going to have any dinner tonight!

Ate Pingggggggg!:icon_lol:

hahah! correct! worse, he's outside the kulambo tonight! :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[James Hubbard]

Have you thought that maybe what she has told him is not entirely the truth, she got 3000k out of him, she might have just come to the uk to see if there was anymore.... As we all know, things in the philippines are never what they seem, and people are so desperate they would do anything, just maybe he has had a lucky escape !

You know what, from the sound of it (and from living here this last year), it seems there may be something like that involved. I wonder what Mick thinks?

[eleazebonares]

hope sir michael starts the divorce,i think losing money in exchange of happiness is ok.but then to lose both and a bunch more is just crazy.

[eleazebonares]

hope sir michael starts the divorce,i think losing money in exchange of happiness is ok.but then to lose both and a bunch more is just crazy. i really dont wanna 'talk' bout the woman coz you all probably are thinking the same thing.Shouldve let her get work and pay for her own trip back but bec of the gentleman that you are,you just let her go away with it.Thats just heroic.

[Mrs Daddy]

:icon_lol:

You are not going to have any dinner tonight!

Ate Pingggggggg!:icon_lol:

Or it will be him on the plate tonight for ate ping`s dinner:omg::omg::omg::icon_lol:

[James Hubbard]

Shouldve let her get work and pay for her own trip back

I was thinking the same thing actually, she'd be less of drain on her husband's finances.:ARsurrender:

[KeithD]

Have you thought that maybe what she has told him is not entirely the truth, she got 3000k out of him, she might have just come to the uk to see if there was anymore!
Scammers don't go that far down the line, plenty more 'easy' customers to fleece without even getting close to marriage.

[James Hubbard]

Scammers don't go that far down the line, plenty more 'easy' customers to fleece without even getting close to marriage.

Maybe she's inexperienced at it! :Erm:

[triple5]

Scammers don't go that far down the line, plenty more 'easy' customers to fleece without even getting close to marriage.

What about those who marry for the jackpot payout when the hubby pops his clogs? I'm not saying that's the case with Mick, but it does happen.

[Jay&Zobel]

Sometimes its best just to close the door quietly on an incident,leave the memories locked inside the room and walk away.


Ditto... but after reading his posts, it made my heart really sad. Hope he will be able to move on. I'm sorry Mick

[KeithD]

What about those who marry for the jackpot payout when the hubby pops his clogs? I'm not saying that's the case with Mick, but it does happen.
That's not a scammer is it, they wouldn't gamble years of their life away when they can be making $1000's a week scamming numerous guys at once.

[Tawi2]

It is indeed a sad read,but its happened,we cant turn back the clock,and its soul destroying sometimes to dwell upon and be eaten up by past events,some things your never going to erase from the memory banks,but we can compartmentalise them and file them away somewhere,Micks wounds are still raw sadly,sometimes we cant figure out how or where we went wrong,we beat ourselves up with could've,would've,should've,Micks only wrongdoing in this whole charade was falling in love with someone who wasnt reciprocal to his feelings,it happens.

[triple5]

That's not a scammer is it, they wouldn't gamble years of their life away when they can be making $1000's a week scamming numerous guys at once.

How much? :omg: I'm in the wrong job :doh

[LEAHnew]

sorry Mick :NoNo:

your wife is not the first to go back to the Phils after a few weeks or months, socool007's wife went back to the phils recently to :cwm24:, i just hope these 2 are the last ones to leave so quick.

sorry for you both :bigcry:

Hi Joe I might probably back home as you remember my predicament:doh, but not to end up my relationship with my man:cwm38: its a matter of legal complications :furious3::Brick:. at this point I felt so unfair:NoNo::NoNo::bigcry::bigcry: sorry for the drama:D:doh:Cuckoo:

To Mick goodluck we are all here to support you, you're not alone:)

[whiteraven]

if i put on a long black wig do you think i can get away with it to?:D

[James Hubbard]

Hi Joe I might probably back home as you remember my predicament:doh,

What happened to you Leah?

[Braveheart]

hi mickant,

i have followed your story eversince i came across this forum. i am really really sorry this happened to you and jennifer. i feel sad knowing this.

i will be praying for you and jennifer.

take care always.

[Jay&Zobel]

What happened to you Leah?

Read her blog :bigcry:

[James Hubbard]

Read her blog :bigcry:

I will do - i assume it's painful :NoNo: ok. Thanks.

[James Hubbard]

Read her blog :bigcry:

do you mean this one

http://filipinaroses.com/showpost.php?p=165551&postcount=1

which has been removed?

I guess I don't need to know as I assume it's private now

sorry:ARsurrender:

[LEAHnew]

What happened to you Leah?


I will do - i assume it's painful :NoNo: ok. Thanks.


do you mean this one

http://filipinaroses.com/showpost.php?p=165551&postcount=1

which has been removed?

I guess I don't need to know as I assume it's private now

sorry:ARsurrender:

It's alright, that's why if u rememeber i said i need a laugh:D:Rasp::icon_lol::icon_lol:

:dohNot private I suppose to edit it but i ended up deleting all content on my first post:doh:D:CompBuster:

That's why I felt so unfair why someone gonna leave like that:NoNo::NoNo: and here i am fighting for my man:cwm38::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[James Hubbard]

It's alright, that's why if u rememeber i said i need a laugh:D:Rasp::icon_lol::icon_lol:

:dohNot private I suppose to edit it but i ended up deleting all content on my first post:doh:D:CompBuster:

That's why I felt so unfair why someone gonna leave like that:NoNo::NoNo: and here i am fighting for my man:cwm38::xxgrinning--00xx3:

O ya, I remember you told me you needed a laugh after you called me a priest? :bigcry:

I gather, your fiancee was married to a thai before, the divorce is not accepted in UK, and so you're fighting a battle against this situation.

Am I right (my child)?

[lavander]

Cheer up Mick, life doesnt end here.... as they say... there's plenty of fish in the sea...

kidding aside.. i feel more sorry on your wife as she lost not only the chance to have a good life in UK but most of all,the opportunity of having someone like you to spent the rest of her life with.... Well, that is life, we do make our choices..even bad choices sometimes...


... how about a can of s.a.n.m.i.g.l.i.t? Cheers!

[James Hubbard]

Cheer up Mick, life doesnt end here.... as they say... there's plenty of fish in the sea...

kidding aside.. i feel more sorry on your wife as she lost not only the chance to have a good life in UK but most of all,the opportunity of having someone like you to spent the rest of her life.... Well, that is life, we do make our choices..even bad choices sometimes...


... how about a can of s.a.n.m.i.g.l.i.t? Cheers!

Ya, Jennifer had the chance of a good man and blew it. mike deserves better. :D

[aug06_2006]

Oh, so sad story sorry to hear that Mick.. just don't forget to ask a help of our heavenly father.

[Stuana]

Stay strong Mick,her lost not yours...You deserve better that's why you lost her...God bless you..

[joebloggs]

Hi Joe I might probably back home as you remember my predicament:doh, but not to end up my relationship with my man:cwm38: its a matter of legal complications :furious3::Brick:. at this point I felt so unfair:NoNo::NoNo::bigcry::bigcry: sorry for the drama:D:doh:Cuckoo:

To Mick goodluck we are all here to support you, you're not alone:)

how could i forget you :D
are you going to apply for another fiancée visa or get wed in the phils when your b/f's papers are done :Erm:

do you want to go back ? did you ask the HO about extending your fiancée visa ?

[Northerner]

Wow, been away from this forum a few days and this thread is, well.. Words can't describe.

Mick, I wish you all the best and hope that there is some happiness at the end of this for you! Best of luck for the future..

Sean

[LEAHnew]

O ya, I remember you told me you needed a laugh after you called me a priest? :bigcry:

I gather, your fiancee was married to a thai before, the divorce is not accepted in UK, and so you're fighting a battle against this situation.

Am I right (my child)?

You got it right father:Erm:(i supposed to call you Pare not Pari)..lol:doh oh im lol again...:Rasp:


how could i forget you :D
are you going to apply for another fiancée visa or get wed in the phils when your b/f's papers are done :Erm:

do you want to go back ? did you ask the HO about extending your fiancée visa ?

Hopefully to get married in Phil at this point it's hard to expect very soon:cwm34: just keep holding for the love we have:):cwm38:

about HO yes we foned them and they wanted me to support legal documents that a procedure has already started read my blog update.

:Erm:asking to go back?:Erm::Erm:is it about what I discovered in UK :cwm24:after all:omg::D:rolleyes:
well i'll just let my heart answer it... says I'll be back:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

apologized for hi-jacking your thread Mick.

[Florge]

Hi Mick,

I am lost for words... Everything has been said by a lot of people here and all I can contribute are my prayers for you... good riddance to Jen.. she doesn't deserve you... let her rot in her hell-hole...

I actually think that this is not a sad story but a good one... looking at the bright side, at least this happened at the early stage in your marriage... but then again, a pain is a pain.. regardless of how it happened... sorry if i seem senseless... maybe i'm just so in a happy mood right now...

Hugggsssss Mick... I'll pray for you.

[Sim11UK]

Hi Mick

Just caught up with this thread...I'm so sorry!...Just take care & look after yourself.

[September]

No, I guess he has to contact her if he want divorce. I haven't heard from Mick saying he has given up on her.

( If I were him,) If Mick didnt file for divorce she cant get married in the Philippines if she find another man. She will have hard time. Mick I am just speaking myself, has nothing to do what ever comes your decision is...take care and all the best:)

[aposhark]

Hello Mick,

Sorry to hear of your news.

Take time to make your decision, it can take quite a while to feel better.
In the meantime, try to keep busy and not get depressed.

If it was me, I would make plans to go back over to see her in the next 6 months. I would not send any more money over.

If it is completely over in 6 months, you will feel stronger then and get some sun on your back in Phils or elsewhere in Asia.

Stay strong Mick and best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

Best of luck,

Aposhark

[socool007]

Mick i no how you feel as my wife went back home,but she was only here for short time but like you i loved her big time .God bless

[cheesewiz]

Is the "someone" you love wanting to be free? Or maybe just needing her space? in my theory, we all need our personal space... and very few people want to be smothered. If she's honest, she'll tell you exactly what's going on so you don't have to wonder. Otherwise you need to think about is she worth trying to hold onto.

best of luck and be strong.

[cheesewiz]

Mick i no how you feel as my wife went back home,but she was only here for short time but like you i loved her big time .God bless

so sorry for you too. there is saying "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were" best of luck.