More on Jennifer and Michaels marrage problems

[mickcant]

Hi all,
This is a recap on Jennifer and Michael, she seemed to be beginning to adjust to our UK time and overcoming the jet lag! After her arrival here on 29th April 2009.
We went to Southampton to see the “Sound of Music” with my brother and his wife then had an Indian meal afterwards.
There was a Filipina in the same housing complex as us, who lost her husband a few weeks ago Jennifer and her were getting on well and have been shopping together and cooked a Filipino meals for us some night, but she was going home to Cebue when everything is in order and has now gone.
They went to church on Sunday 4th Oct, then in the afternoon Jennifer said she wanted to go home!
She has a computer here with Skype and yahoo messenger on that she has been using in the mornings to contact friends and family.
I am retired so she was not left here on her own
We had lots of replies from the group when I asked for suggestions and several Filipina's living here phoned Jennifer.

But on Monday the 12 October Jennifer was again in a state and also then said she needed to go home until her 2 younger siblings had the operations they needed, but were still not arranged for a date as her father still could not get his share of the money together, I had already paid a large sum towards the cost.
She said she would come back after the operations, but I pointed out to her that her visa conditions may not allow her to re enter the UK.
So I ended up getting a ticket online and arranged a taxi from Southampton and took her to Cowes she asked for £3,500 to go home with, I gave her £500

Because of the visa and flight cost, (she wanted to go home in February for a month for her sisters wedding) as far as I am concerned this is the end of the marriage.

Can I ask if anyone can advise if she is entitled to further support from me, I am not bothered about divorce unless I have to.

We met in 2007, and married in April 2008, I had sent her £2000 for our honeymoon money, but when I arrived there for the wedding most of it had been used so I had to use my bank cards to have money, then she disappeared for around 4 months after the wedding with the money I had left with her for visa and flight cost again around £2000.

I am sure she was with me only for the money she could get, in all now she has had around £19,000

We made love once on the honeymoon, and not at all when she was here, in fact she went to bed fully clothed and slept on top the quilt (I had bought a new bed and thick quilt).

If anyone reads back these figures may be a little out but not much.

Can anyone advise please?
Mick.

[James Hubbard]

I let my wife read what you had said, she was outraged about Jennifer.

My wife feels that Jennifer probably had a Filipino Boyfriend, and you were funding their relationship :NoNo::cwm23: she thinks the "family" was just an excuse.

[pennybarry]

Oh God Oh Lord!!!!

Seems your releationship is all about money relationship. Sorry Mick,
please forget her and move on! I am afraid that she will make some drama someday!

Please tell her you are not that rich! Even if you are.

As long as you did the right move in your relationship, then you'll be OK. Nothing to worry about!

I feel shock about the money you spent. She is too expensive!:omg:

[Sophie]

I let my wife read what you had said, she was outraged about Jennifer.

My wife feels that Jennifer probably had a Filipino Boyfriend, and you were funding their relationship :NoNo::cwm23: she thinks the "family" was just an excuse.

I have thesame theory too :NoNo: and the sibblings were probably just an excuse....
sorry mick, just a personal opinion....
Make sure you gather all the evidence to prove her lack of commitment to your marriage....
so you can use that against her in case she demands for financial support in the near future....

[whiteraven]

i have to agree with what has been said so far, i feel you have been caught out by the worst kind of scam ive ever heard of and i feel she deserves no contact or any kind of support in the future. this has made me very angry hearing that people can be so callous to use others like this and take advantage of someone as kind hearted as yourself. just move on mate and forget her totally ,far more deserving ladies of your love and attention:cwm23:

[darren-b]

Have you contacted the BIA to have her visa cancelled?

[James Hubbard]

Have you contacted the BIA to have her visa cancelled?

:gp:

[eagles]

H mick , read your other post about jennifer.. I have a gut feel that she has another man in her life... I was outraged when i read about it..

I am from mindanao and i hate what she did to you..

I suggest that have that divorce soon, she cant contest it.. You got legal grounds on that.Even in Phils laws, her actuations is manifestation of the incapacity to fulfill her marital obligations..

Dont give anymore money to her.

[James Hubbard]

it seems like the suggestion that she's got "a guy back home" has got a lot of support.

I hope you're holding up. DO NOT send her any more money.:furious3:

[pennybarry]

Maybe you you can divorce her by ABANDONMENT grounds. That was happened to my friend in America. She was forced to go for a long holiday by his husband in Pinas and then in few months, she received divorce paper with that ground. You did not force her, so you have more advantage and reasons to do such.
Goodluck !

[Northerner]

I think the general consenus here is to move on..

I honestly hope you can move on with as little fuss from your "wife" as possible. And like has been said before, stop sending her money..

And I am pretty sure you can divorce her here in the UK!

[darren-b]

it seems like the suggestion that she's got "a guy back home" has got a lot of support.

I hope you're holding up. DO NOT send her any more money.:furious3:

It does sound like it's either another guy or her father is pressurising her to get money for her younger siblings.

[jam07]

Time to get a move on mick. a divorce, visa cancellation, stop sending her money. I dont buy her excuse. The moment she left you, thats it. You have no more responsibilities to her. Its her loss.

[Tawi2]

She emotionally blackmailed you and milked you for 19 k :NoNo:Karma is a bitch,hope it bites her on the ass,forget her Mick,walk off into the sunset casting a large shadow,you dont owe her a centavo,dont answer her calls or e-mails,delete and block :NoNo:She had the audacity to ask you for £3,500 as she was going home :rolleyes: Dont rush into any relationship in future mate,slowly,you strike at the first bite when fishing you get the dumbest fish,leave your bait out for something a little smarter,something with quality,I was going to say she sounded cheap but 19 large isnt that cheap is it:NoNo:Take it as an expensive lesson and move on.

[joebloggs]

It does sound like it's either another guy or her father is pressurising her to get money for her younger siblings.

who knows, sad as it is, she's probably been milking you for money for a long time, for whatever reason, your not the first or last to be used mick, it could have happen to anyone of us, the warning signs were there and you didn't see them or didn't want to:NoNo: like the old saying 'love is blind' , meaning that when your partner does mistakes/bad things.. you perceive it as good because you love him/her. I've met someone who was blinded into more than £100,000+ over many years (but they could afford it they were a lawyer:doh)

as you know Mick time is a great healer, and as :censored: as you feel now, things will get better one day :rolleyes:

[mickcant]

who knows, sad as it is, she's probably been milking you for money for a long time, for whatever reason, your not the first or last to be used mick, it could have happen to anyone of us, the warning signs were there and you didn't see them or didn't want to:NoNo: like the old saying 'love is blind' , meaning that when your partner does mistakes/bad things.. you perceive it as good because you love him/her. I've met someone who was blinded into more than £100,000+ over many years (but they could afford it they were a lawyer:doh)

as you know Mick time is a great healer, and as :censored: as you feel now, things will get better one day :rolleyes:

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

[James Hubbard]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

Just send nothing and get rid of her. She's claimed enough from you. You're supposed to be enjoying your retirement mate.

[darren-b]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

Have you had her visa cancelled? If so even if she tried she'll have great difficulty claiming anything if she can't get to the UK.

[Mrs Daddy]

Try changing your home number and mobile number if possible transfer a house but that would be the last option I guess for her not to contact you ever again.I am really sorry mick for what happened...

[Jay&Zobel]

Oh Michael!!!!!!

She sounds like a good old SCAMMER to me!!! Please do not entertain her anymore but please do not block her just yet, let her email you & contact you again and just save them all as you may need these details in the future in case it will go further.

I'm so sorry Michael!!

P.S.
It may be worth letting us know who she is so no one else will be scammed in the future (a picture maybe?)

---------

Just a thought, maybe we need another category here where we can post all the pictures & details of scammers. We are all here to protect each other. Not all Filipinas are scammers but it all affects us knowing that a fellow Filipina can do such!

[James Hubbard]

Oh Michael!!!!!!

She sounds like a good old SCAMMER to me!!! Please do not entertain her anymore but please do not block her just yet, let her email you & contact you again and just save them all as you may need these details in the future in case it will go further.

I'm so sorry Michael!!

P.S.
It may be worth letting us know who she is so no one else will be scammed in the future (a picture maybe?)

---------

Just a thought, maybe we need another category here where we can post all the pictures & details of scammers. We are all here to protect each other. Not all Filipinas are scammers but it all affects us knowing that a fellow Filipina can do such!

mate. as regards a pic of jennifer, mick posted one of her coming thru the terminal of heathrow.

as regards your [B] proposition, it sounds really good. I would love to hear what a mod or keith thinks of it.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[joebloggs]

as regards your [B] proposition, it sounds really good. I would love to hear what a mod or keith thinks of it.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

one problem would be that unless you've actually met them, you could be posting pictures of innocent people, scammers don't always use pictures of themselves, ID theft is so easy on the net, someone's picture on this forum, has already been used by someone else on a pinoy dating site:NoNo: and there are 2 sides to ever story.. thou i don't doubt Micks story at all, but not all are so clear cut.

[Tawi2]

There are actually 2 pinoy private eyes I am aware of who investigate pinay womens backgrounds for western guys,one is based in Angeles,he has done quite a bit of work,I could probably find out if she had a boyfriend given time as I know a copper in CDO who is at a fairly high level:icon_lol: The internet is filled to bursting with page after page of scammers pics :Erm:Love is indeed blind :)

[Sophie]

Oh Michael!!!!!!

She sounds like a good old SCAMMER to me!!! Please do not entertain her anymore but please do not block her just yet, let her email you & contact you again and just save them all as you may need these details in the future in case it will go further.

I'm so sorry Michael!!

P.S.
It may be worth letting us know who she is so no one else will be scammed in the future (a picture maybe?)

---------

Just a thought, maybe we need another category here where we can post all the pictures & details of scammers. We are all here to protect each other. Not all Filipinas are scammers but it all affects us knowing that a fellow Filipina can do such!

LOL, interesting idea :xxgrinning--00xx3: We can have a BEWARE OF SCAMMER'S SECTION here with photos attached,
like a WANTED list but we can categorize them as the UNWANTED LIST instead (the people you will never want to meet ever, lol) :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:
Although by doing this, hope we don't get questioned for violating their human rights by exposing them here with their photos :Erm:

[Northerner]

Just a thought, maybe we need another category here where we can post all the pictures & details of scammers. We are all here to protect each other. Not all Filipinas are scammers but it all affects us knowing that a fellow Filipina can do such!

There are other forums out there which specialize in those sort of people! This forum (to me) is for those of us who commit to relationships. There are sites that show love scammers and people like to bait them.. There are lists of women from the Philippines, Thailand, Russia etc.. Who are known scammers.Transcripts of their conversations with pictures and names (and addresses for sending money) are all out for the public to look over..

[Jay&Zobel]

P.S.
It may be worth letting us know who she is so no one else will be scammed in the future (a picture maybe?)

---------

Just a thought, maybe we need another category here where we can post all the pictures & details of scammers. We are all here to protect each other. Not all Filipinas are scammers but it all affects us knowing that a fellow Filipina can do such!


mate. as regards a pic of jennifer, mick posted one of her coming thru the terminal of heathrow.

as regards your [B] proposition, it sounds really good. I would love to hear what a mod or keith thinks of it.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks James for supporting the idea. :xxgrinning--00xx3:



one problem would be that unless you've actually met them, you could be posting pictures of innocent people, scammers don't always use pictures of themselves, ID theft is so easy on the net, someone's picture on this forum, has already been used by someone else on a pinoy dating site:NoNo: and there are 2 sides to ever story.. thou i don't doubt Micks story at all, but not all are so clear cut.

There would have to be a definite evidence that these are the people who really are scammers (like say, you must have met them in person, the minimum you would want to do is, have identified them by webcam) but if it's based from pictures you can't, pictures isnt enough evidence, you can get pictures everywhere.



The internet is filled to bursting with page after page of scammers pics :Erm:Love is indeed blind :)

Yes and it really makes my blood boils!!! :cwm23:


LOL, interesting idea :xxgrinning--00xx3: We can have a BEWARE OF SCAMMER'S SECTION here with photos attached,
like a WANTED list but we can categorize them as the UNWANTED LIST instead (the people you will never want to meet ever, lol) :D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol:
Although by doing this, hope we don't get questioned for violating their human rights by exposing them here with their photos :Erm:


UNWANTED LIST is good!! Thanks for the support Sophie but we need to clearly distinguish the RIGHT PEOPLE. Like say, there should be rules where you can only put the pictures & name shame them, IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE MET THEM & WAS SCAMMED.

This is an utterly disgusted behaviour. :NoNo::angry::cwm23:

I really hope no one will be scammed in the future.

[KeithD]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.
NO.

For a start they are not yours, but more important the Philippines are blacklisted by the International community as they do not recognise International laws.

Speak with a marriage/immigration solicitor about the way forward (maybe the one Pete recommends), you'll find a few on Google, but you'll owe her zip.

[Sophie]

there should be rules where you can only put the pictures & name shame them, IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE MET THEM & WAS SCAMMED.

This is an utterly disgusted behaviour. :NoNo::angry::cwm23:

I really hope no one will be scammed in the future.

I totally agree :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Leo]

Hi Mick its good to hear you are ok you need to take some legal advice to find out where you stand you dont want a letter droping through the door with a big claim for maintainence months from now.You need to get it sorted for your own protection take care of your self Mick

[IainBusby]

Have you contacted the BIA to have her visa cancelled?

Hi Mick,
I really think you should do this ASAP.
Iain.

[jane2009]

I let my wife read what you had said, she was outraged about Jennifer.

My wife feels that Jennifer probably had a Filipino Boyfriend, and you were funding their relationship :NoNo::cwm23: she thinks the "family" was just an excuse.

Im very sorry Mic, but i think this is true....maybe she have a filipino boyfriend ( no job) which keep pushing to jennifer to ask a money from you....:angry:

[somebody]

Hi all,
This is a recap on Jennifer and Michael, she seemed to be beginning to adjust to our UK time and overcoming the jet lag! After her arrival here on 29th April 2009.
We went to Southampton to see the “Sound of Music” with my brother and his wife then had an Indian meal afterwards.
There was a Filipina in the same housing complex as us, who lost her husband a few weeks ago Jennifer and her were getting on well and have been shopping together and cooked a Filipino meals for us some night, but she was going home to Cebue when everything is in order and has now gone.
They went to church on Sunday 4th Oct, then in the afternoon Jennifer said she wanted to go home!
She has a computer here with Skype and yahoo messenger on that she has been using in the mornings to contact friends and family.
I am retired so she was not left here on her own
We had lots of replies from the group when I asked for suggestions and several Filipina's living here phoned Jennifer.

But on Monday the 12 October Jennifer was again in a state and also then said she needed to go home until her 2 younger siblings had the operations they needed, but were still not arranged for a date as her father still could not get his share of the money together, I had already paid a large sum towards the cost.
She said she would come back after the operations, but I pointed out to her that her visa conditions may not allow her to re enter the UK.
So I ended up getting a ticket online and arranged a taxi from Southampton and took her to Cowes she asked for £3,500 to go home with, I gave her £500

Because of the visa and flight cost, (she wanted to go home in February for a month for her sisters wedding) as far as I am concerned this is the end of the marriage.

Can I ask if anyone can advise if she is entitled to further support from me, I am not bothered about divorce unless I have to.

We met in 2007, and married in April 2008, I had sent her £2000 for our honeymoon money, but when I arrived there for the wedding most of it had been used so I had to use my bank cards to have money, then she disappeared for around 4 months after the wedding with the money I had left with her for visa and flight cost again around £2000.

I am sure she was with me only for the money she could get, in all now she has had around £19,000

We made love once on the honeymoon, and not at all when she was here, in fact she went to bed fully clothed and slept on top the quilt (I had bought a new bed and thick quilt).

If anyone reads back these figures may be a little out but not much.

Can anyone advise please?
Mick.


As others say Cancel the Visa asap. Divorce well maybe worth not doing and if she ever wants to marry she should find that a big problem and a bit of Karma.

If she is not in the UK then she will be hard pressed to claim maintance but of course always get some legal advice just to be certain.

[Ann07]

SOrry to hear that Mick..... As they said cancel her visa.

[islander]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

ABSOLUTELY NO!

Enough is enough Mick! Don't worry much about financially supporting her, considering that some men in Phils. even get away with supporting their wives & kids whom they left for a mistress, seems horrible though! I think now is your revengeance time... sounds bad I suppose! At least, make her regret for the rest of her life the wrong decisions she made. As what others suggest, cancel her visa & cut all contacts with her.

Honestly, being a filipino myself felt so mad & ashamed for what she did to you!

Move on Mick & Enjoy the beauty of Life!

[maria_and_matt]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

hey mick dont worry she is not entitled to any maintenance from you. you have given her more than enough. and if she expects you to send her more money then she is a 'USER', she did not give your marriage a chance to work, she without thinking of you decided to go back home. she is on her own now. and i am sure that when her money runs out she will try to get in contact with you again with another sad story, please do not fall for it again.

you are a very decent person and you deserve to be happy. forget her, she is not worth it.

goodluck..

[tiN]

.
Yes and it really makes my blood boils!!! :cwm23:
UNWANTED LIST is good!! Thanks for the support Sophie but we need to clearly distinguish the RIGHT PEOPLE. Like say, there should be rules where you can only put the pictures & name shame them, IF AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE MET THEM & WAS SCAMMED.

This is an utterly disgusted behaviour. :NoNo::angry::cwm23:

I really hope no one will be scammed in the future.


I totally agree :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:cwm23::cwm23::cwm23::cwm23:

Very disgusting :Brick::cwm23::Brick::cwm23:

Wish you all the best in future, Mick. :)

[Tawi2]

Water under the bridge now Mick,no amount of recriminations can turn back the clock(though we did it for an hour last night),just take some time,heal your mind and heart,never rush into love,its going to find you when its good and ready,be lucky :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[adam&chryss]

hi mick! glad u r doing fine...

you're not entitled to support her financially as she's the one who left you and the fact that she just used you. good thing she didn't get pregnant.

as most said cancel her visa coz she has a chance to come back here in UK without you knowing it.

best of luck! and take care always! :)

[Florge]

hi mick,

good to hear from you again...

divorce her... asap... cancel her visa.. asap...

[JimOttley]

Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


Jim

[Ji&Ma]

Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


Jim

Yeah, I can see your point Jim, but on the other hand shall I find myself in the same situation as Mick I would start all the proceedings (visa cancellation, anullment etc...) as quickly as possible...:NoNo:
Heads up Mick, wish you more luck next time :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Northerner]

Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


Jim

Now that sounds Evil! But in a way I like it!!

Cancelling her visa and not divorcing her! Hmmmm.. That could cause her bother in the future.:Erm:

[somebody]

Now that sounds Evil! But in a way I like it!!

Cancelling her visa and not divorcing her! Hmmmm.. That could cause her bother in the future.:Erm:

Indeed would be a shame

[mickcant]

Not sure he should divorce her unless he really wants to, if he divorces her she is free to remarry and that is like giving her a present, it effectively gives her the chance to do this all over again with someone else!


Jim
Hi Jim and all,
I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me, but I was woried about her claming support from me, but as somone else said once she has spent the money she took with her, she would most likly not be able to pay for a lawer.
She has had enough money from me.
Thanks Mick.

[joebloggs]

Hi Jim and all,
I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me,

but if you do meet someone else in the future, you'll have to go thru the divorce/annulment process which could take many months :NoNo: which may cause problems with any future relationship, and you would be cutting ties with her for good, so you can move on and be free again

[JimOttley]

Hi Jim and all,
I do not want to divrce her for that very reason, it seems that could me a sort of revenge with the way she has treated me, but I was woried about her claming support from me, but as somone else said once she has spent the money she took with her, she would most likly not be able to pay for a lawer.
She has had enough money from me.
Thanks Mick.

She would have a hard time taking any action from that distance Mick.

Even in cases where there are children the Child Support Agency in the UK will not accept an application for a child living abroad.

Would cost her a fortune to pursue you, best if you change your phone numbers and get a new email address, yahoo account etc.

And of course as others have said get her Visa cancelled!

Hope you get through this sir you have had a rough time!


Jim

[JimOttley]

but if you do meet someone else in the future, you'll have to go thru the divorce/annulment process which could take many months :NoNo: which may cause problems with any future relationship, and you would be cutting ties with her for good, so you can move on and be free again

That's a fair point Joe, there is also the issue of inheritance not sure how easy it is to disinherit a wife in English law :Erm:


Jim

[ginapeterb]

Hi Mick, have been watching this thread, I have noticed you are concerned about any claims for maintenance from this woman who seems to have been very well maintained going by the figures you quoted.

Firstly, maintenance agreements cannot be forthcoming unless they form part of a divorce agreement, i.e. a financial directions hearing has taken place at a family court in front of a sitting county court recorder or district Judge.

I assume that has not happened as yet, firstly, maintenance is based on the circumstances of the marriage, i.e. how long did the petitioner and the respondent live together, has the petitioner, assuming she would be able to launch divorce proceedings against you, which I find very hard to believe and has to be said is 99 per cent unlikely considering you tell us she has high tailed it back ti Pinas.

If she is living in Pinas now, what maintenance can she claim ? she could only do so if she visited a UK Solicitor and just by some stroke of miracle tried to actually launch a divorce case against you, but if she did, what would be the grounds ? divorce cases involving marriages where there are no children are generally quick and easy to settle, and in such circumstances as yours, where the marriage has not subsisted longer than a few months, with an affidavit from yourself detailing the following points, would almost likely be resolved by a dismissal of the claim for maintenance and a decision to grant a no fault divorce in your favour.

You married in 2008, you funded the marriage, and visa application, she was out of communicado for 4 months, made no attempt to contact you, is in itself, in the UK courts, grounds for divorce, under 'Unreasonable behaviour' it appears to me, you would be the petitioner in this matter.

The above would show very clearly to any district judge or court recorder that in fact your wife of very few months has indeed contracted marriage with a view to extort money, there have actually been several cases in the UK i have researched where foreigners from mainly Thailand, Philippines and also funnily enough India and Pakistan, where British citizens have contracted marriage thinking that their relationships would subsist and be genuine, where courts have thrown out the cases, where maintenance and or cash lump sum payments have been requested, on the grounds, that the petitioners are gold diggers.

There are precedents, in the UK Mick for this sort of behaviour, I think you will find that judges sitting in county courts are pretty good at smelling these cases, and seem to react very strongly in favour of the respondent if they think an injustice is taking place, also this woman has gone back to Philippines, she was also here in the UK on a temporary visa, subject to strict immigration control.

She is not as yet classed as a full UK resident, nor should she think that she is, she is at best a temporary resident, and the marriage with you must subsist at least for 24 months before any applications for further leave to remain or indefinate leave to remain may be considered.

My advice to you, along with the advices given by others regarding her visa, is at first point, to get the address for the Nationality and Immigration service, address a full detailed letter to the them, and state that as of the date she left, that you are no longer living together as man and wife, I would not elaborate on your story too much.

You should simply state, that under the terms of the marriage visa, that is for 24 months, your wife has decided to return to the Philippines indefinately, and that she is not expected to return, you must state in your letter that your wife has told you that she does not intend to live in the United Kingdom with you at any time, now or in the future.

Now doing this, will then alert the UKVisas to your case, who will then no doubt over course of a few weeks, seek to either put restrictions on your wife's visa should she attempt to re-enter the UK, i.e. finding another Filipino family to live with, or as is common these days, a.n.other group of Filipino workers, do not be surprised if that happens, and she is living somewhere else with others.

At least even if she was in UK, her chances of getting permanent residence would be blocked.

That might take care of the visa situation, but it would not take care of the marriage, after all, one must remember, the marriage is not linked technically to living as man and wife in the UK, it may be that the alternative, was that you lived with her in Philippines.

If you are not going to re-marry again, then you might not wish to bother with instigating a divorce petition in the UK court, since she is in the Philippines, its very hard to serve someone, I can think of a few people on this forum, who would love to track her down in Pinas and serve her with your petition personally, however I am not sure about the legality of serving someone in a foreign country.

No it seems to me, she is back in Philippines, she cannot launch any requests for maintenance from there, since Philippines has no jurisdiction in UK law, she is not likely to do that.

Are you in any danger from her requests for money, I think not, she has had the best out of you, but I would say this Mick, some people say love is blind and the signs are not there, I have to be hard here and say, you did see the signs.

The signs were always there, that she was a gold digger and just out for your money, when she disappeared for 4 months, that was evidenciary in itself that she was just up to the same.

Why did you go ahead and bring her to UK, you new back then she could not be trusted, if you ask any happily married guy here at the forum what he would have done in such circumstance they would have told you end it there and then.

And to say you admit to giving her close to £19,000 is quite frankly absolutely scandalous and fool hardy, and your state that made love only once, ?????? ONCE ??????? INCREDIBLE !!!!

And this is the BEST BIT FOR ME ! She gets into bed fully clothed, that in itself in UK courts is actually unreasonable behaviour in any event, yes all the signs were there, refusal to make love for me only comes in marriages that are well along in years, well not refusal to make love.

Avoiding sex by complaining they have headaches, tired, worked hard that day, not feeling well, and a host of other well known complaints.

No I think you could see all the signs were there, but you chose to continue on in any event, you knew back then she was no good, but you thought maybe she would change, but they rarely do you know, does a Leopard change its spots, nope, its in her nature I am afraid to say, but as for maintenance, stop worrying, its not going to happen.

[liane]

Hi Mick, I am glad to hear from you again. We were wondering how you were doing after what happened to you.
It would be better not to have any contact with her, she took advantage of you and used you for her own benefit. You don't deserved someone like her. It was too sad to learn that after you gone through just to be with her this was what you got- you even spent too much money.
Anyway hope you be better soon.:)

[September]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

Wake up Mick, you dont need to support her, tell her you decided to go home,her choice thats it, enough letting her use you, I didnt read if there is reply that u can carry on sending her money, but that is silly thing to do again, :NoNo:

[IainBusby]

Now doing this, will then alert the UKVisas to your case, who will then no doubt over course of a few weeks, seek to either put restrictions on your wife's visa should she attempt to re-enter the UK, i.e. finding another Filipino family to live with, or as is common these days, a.n.other group of Filipino workers, do not be surprised if that happens, and she is living somewhere else with others.

At least even if she was in UK, her chances of getting permanent residence would be blocked.

I told Mick about this possibility in a PM when he first posted that she had left and gone home. I heard of a case from a friend when I was in the Philippines where a freind of this friend who's wife left to return to the Philippines shortly after arriving in the UK. Her husband found out later through the Filipino grapvine that she actually returned to the UK a few weeks later and was working in London.

For this reason I think it's really important to get her visa cancelled and I really think Mick should divorce her because, although it would be great to leave her in limbo marriage wise, as things stand, if anything happened to him she might be able to inherit his estate.

Iain.

[Arthur Little]

I think it's really important to get her visa cancelled and I really think Mick should divorce her because, although it would be great to leave her in limbo marriage wise, as things stand, if anything happened to him she might be able to inherit his estate.

Iain.

:iagree: "Revenge is sweet!" But, in this case, Mick ... as Iain points out ... IF [God forbid!] anything happened to YOU, the LAST thing you'd want, is Jennifer claiming [even a small part] of what rightly belongs solely to your dependents. :omg:

So (at the risk of appearing in any way morbid) I would urge you to instigate divorce proceedings asap. I'm no lawyer, but it would seem to me that you have more than adequate grounds for doing so.

Take Care, Mick, and Good Luck, my friend. :xxgrinning--00xx3: You deserve the best, and I just wish things had worked out differently for the pair of you!!

[mickcant]

:iagree: "Revenge is sweet!" But, in this case, Mick ... as Iain points out ... IF [God forbid!] anything happened to YOU, the LAST thing you'd want, is Jennifer claiming [even a small part] of what rightly belongs solely to your dependents. :omg:

So (at the risk of appearing in any way morbid) I would urge you to instigate divorce proceedings asap. I'm no lawyer, but it would seem to me that you have more than adequate grounds for doing so.

Take Care, Mick, and Good Luck, my friend. :xxgrinning--00xx3: You deserve the best, and I just wish things had worked out differently for the pair of you!!
Hi Arthur and all,
When she disapeared stright after we married, In the 3rd month I did see a solicitor who of course said I could not start a divorce untill a year after the wedding
so we then rewrite my will to make it as difficult as possible for her to inherate after my death.
I need to dig the will out to be sure but I think it was done by putting address unknown, which was true I know I did not tell him her family address in CDO.
I am going to print most of the groups replies so I can go through them better.
Jennifer last contacted me to say she was home on the 14th October so I expect I will next hear from her when the £500 I gave her when she went home has gone, I will then ignor her messages and let her stew as she did me after the wedding.
I would be very suprised if she turned up here (unless she has saved some money)
I would expect her to say she wanted to come back and needed the money for the fare! and of course she will get no more money.

She did say when she was here that she wanted a job that paid good money and was upset when I said there were not many that paid much on the Isle of Wight.
As far as my estate goes she has allready had most of it anyhow.
I live in an Housing Assocation flat, so there is no money from that.
Thanks everyone you have all helped get my head stright.
Mick.

[mickcant]

Hi Arthur and all,
When she disapeared stright after we married, In the 3rd month I did see a solicitor who of course said I could not start a divorce untill a year after the wedding
so we then rewrite my will to make it as difficult as possible for her to inherate after my death.
I need to dig the will out to be sure but I think it was done by putting address unknown, which was true I know I did not tell him her family address in CDO.
I am going to print most of the groups replies so I can go through them better.
Jennifer last contacted me to say she was home on the 14th October so I expect I will next hear from her when the £500 I gave her when she went home has gone, I will then ignor her messages and let her stew as she did me after the wedding.
I would be very suprised if she turned up here (unless she has saved some money)
I would expect her to say she wanted to come back and needed the money for the fare! and of course she will get no more money.

She did say when she was here that she wanted a job that paid good money and was upset when I said there were not many that paid much on the Isle of Wight.
As far as my estate goes she has allready had most of it anyhow.
I live in an Housing Assocation flat, so there is no money from that.
Thanks everyone you have all helped get my head stright.
Mick.

Hi all,
Aslight correction to the post above, Jennifer did contact me a few times after she arrived home at CDO, mostly to say she is arranging the operations of her siblings, I had allready paid £3,000 towards this and they were to have the operations in July, her father was going to pay the rest, but has not come up with the money.
It may be she thinks I will now pay the balance so that she will then return here?
She must think I have a bottomless pit of money, despite my telling her not.

We had an appointment at my bank to open a seperate account for her fed from mine for 2 days after she decided to go home, I am relived we did not do that before.

She will be getting no reply or money when/if she does contact me about that.

I have removed her photos I had on the walls including our wedding ones and have stored them in a cubbard for now.

All the best,
Mick.

[mickcant]

Hi Mick, have been watching this thread, I have noticed you are concerned about any claims for maintenance from this woman who seems to have been very well maintained going by the figures you quoted.

Hi Pete,
A big thank you for your very extensive reply, my head is getting clearer now and I will take the advice given.
Thanks again,
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Jay&Zobel]

I have removed her photos I had on the walls including our wedding ones and have stored them in a cubbard for now.

All the best,
Mick.


:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: Good for you Mick and take care always. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[September]

Nice to hear you moved on, the reason god put the brain on head meaning use the brain before the heart, all the best for your future mick, you really sound a nice man

[ron]

I know now after this experinece you will floow your head. You obviously gave everything and she is the one who as killed it. You have to stand firm and make her realise the mistake she made. Mick I really wish you all the best and hope the future is a better one for you. Ron

[thejarvs]

Hi Mick,
I won't add anymore because it's all been said, I just want to send you a virtual hug.

[laurel]

Hi Mick,
I won't add anymore because it's all been said, I just want to send you a virtual hug.

I second that...keep ya chin up

[angel1231]

just dropping by:doh:doh:doh and what a sad story :bigcry:.....but all the best to you mick. Hope everything will sort out in the future.GOODLUCK MATE:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[lizaphil]

Just send nothing and get rid of her. She's claimed enough from you. You're supposed to be enjoying your retirement mate.

yes i :iagree::iagree:dont give her nothing let her learn,what she lost,
we see what she ganna do...

[aphrodite78]

Thank you all for your replies, my main worry is if she can claim maintance from me, as I have of course supported her since our marriabe in April 2008 so am thinking she will still expect it now?
Mick.

how low could she go. shame on her. :cwm23:i don't think she is entitled to be supported anyway. it's very sad, it's leaves a bad taste to us filipinas and the sad thing is this is not the first i've heard. i hope you are all right mick. i have been reading all your post and how you have tried overcoming your differences etc etc. it's her lost not yours. chin up and god bless.

[Queenbee]

how low could she go. shame on her. :cwm23:i don't think she is entitled to be supported anyway. it's very sad, it's leaves a bad taste to us filipinas and the sad thing is this is not the first i've heard. i hope you are all right mick. i have been reading all your post and how you have tried overcoming your differences etc etc. it's her lost not yours. chin up and god bless.

right on that!!!!oh ma ******* god Thats so :censored: horrible,,,Ho can she mangage to sleep at night,,,,arrrrr gives me goosebumps...Mick let her go....Enough is enough,,,,this is :censored:abuse,,,,Believe in karma mick,dnt be fooled again,,,

[Jonnywina]

Stay strong Mick..you deserve someone way way better!!! karma's a bitch!! hopefully when it strikes her it'll strike her bad..more than what she deserves! As for you Mick, go on with your life dare not to think of her anymore..not worth your time. keep safe :)

Jonny and Wina:cwm38:

[Margarita]

I can say that i agree to what most of the posters have said about Jennifer....She is just making a lot of excuses to justify her lies...I believe she is just taking advantage on you and never appreciate what you have done for her...Im sorry for whatever happened but i guess, you have to move on and find someone who is more worthy of your love and affection....Good luck and God bless you too....

[socool007]

I read all your msg and thay are helping me get over my wife who i think is the twin of Michaels wife lol.

[Arthur Little]

I read all your msg and thay are helping me get over my wife

:xxgrinning--00xx3: Attaboy! That's good to know ... just give it time ... !

[LastViking]

Hi Mick, I am really sorry to hear what has happened to you. You must be feeling dreadful as well.

I am recently divorced and found a really good support web site at wikivorce.co.uk not only is there lots of free practical and legal advice on there but lots of support from others in similar situations.

I found the site a life saver and I managed to do my divorce on a DIY basis for less than £ 1,000 with their help. I know your situation is different but I am sure that there will be someone on there who could help and advise. Anyway just a suggestion.

If you do join just PM me if you need any help.

[mickcant]

Hi Mick, I am really sorry to hear what has happened to you. You must be feeling dreadful as well.

I am recently divorced and found a really good support web site at wikivorce.co.uk not only is there lots of free practical and legal advice on there but lots of support from others in similar situations.

I found the site a life saver and I managed to do my divorce on a DIY basis for less than £ 1,000 with their help. I know your situation is different but I am sure that there will be someone on there who could help and advise. Anyway just a suggestion.

If you do join just PM me if you need any help.
Hi LastViking,:Hellooo:
Thank you for the link, I have joined and started reading through the post, I will post some questions soon.
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[blackcat22]

Really a shame when this sort of things happened, only if Mick could have smelt the coffee early on the relationship and be assertive enough to take action, then it wouldnt have lead to this heartache.

Now she has seen how successful she has been with this type of scam, she will try again with other men and oh her friends back in phils will see how well she has done for herself with this scam and will be queuing up on dating sites to try and copy her scam methods. As if dating site is not already full of people like her.

we that are still looking for our filipino princess need to be on our guard more than ever

it seems every filipinos have or know a friend or distant relative being supported by a foreign boyfriend/lover so they all queuing up for slice of the cake with false pretenses with exception of a few honest ones.

well I have my own story to tell later but nothing as bad as mick tho thank God

[blackcat22]

As a rule of thumb I generally stay away from filipinos looking for partners who are 30 or 40+ yrs older than their own age i.e filipino is 20 and looking for partner 50 or 60+ yrs old . This normally raise a red flag with me as higher proportion of them in this category have bad intentions and wanting to scam.

some will even say 20yrs max above their own age is the safest bet.

Mick, will be interesting to know if this girl falls into the category I mentioned above

[Fitzy]

I was searching for something else and came across your thread Mick, and am completely outraged by this!!
I had one like her in CDO a while back, as alot of members know, and I dumped her.
I could not take a costly, loveless relationship anymore.
Just be more careful next time mate.
There are many fine, honest, truthful, loving girls out there.

Chin up mate.

Never say never.

The very moment someone asks you for money in the early stages of a relationship, DUMP THEM.

Just out of interest mate, did you meet here on FH??



All the best mick, and happy new year to you.

[English Rose]

Sorry to hear about your problems. It sounds like a horrible experience.
As I understand it, the marriage visa is initially for 2 years only, so after April, there's no way back.
I guess she had sex with you once so you couldn't apply for an annulment.
You could divorce her on the grounds of mental cruelty but serving the papers is going to be a problem. After 5 years' separation, you can apply for a divorce without her consent.
I don't see how she will be able to successfully apply for maintenance from the Philippines.
I hope these thoughts are helpful.
Wishing you a better 2010.

[bornatbirth]

i guess she was forced or pressured into a relationship,which she never wanted and mick was the unlucky one. :Erm:

sad for everyone :bigcry:

[mickcant]

Sorry to hear about your problems. It sounds like a horrible experience.
As I understand it, the marriage visa is initially for 2 years only, so after April, there's no way back.
I guess she had sex with you once so you couldn't apply for an annulment.
You could divorce her on the grounds of mental cruelty but serving the papers is going to be a problem. After 5 years' separation, you can apply for a divorce without her consent.
I don't see how she will be able to successfully apply for maintenance from the Philippines.
I hope these thoughts are helpful.
Wishing you a better 2010.

Hi all, thank you for your thoughts and concern.
I have wanted to write but was a little worried at the same time as I seem to be going against much of the advice given me.

When I asked Jennifer if she would sign the divorce papers, for a divorce without using a solicitor, she said she did not want to divorce but wanted to return and make our marriage work!

So I decided to follow my heart and try, at least we would then know for sure, I would always have wondered “what if”.

Jennifer returned here December the 19th and all has been ok so far, we do have things to work through, we were apart 19 months since the marriage apart from the 12 days she was first here.

We are more or less starting again, things are much better so far and hopefully we will get through our problems.

I realise we may have problems with her not being here the full two years required for the visa, but hopefully we can work somthing out by then.

Jennifer has enjoyed our snow over the last two days, and taken pictures to send home.
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jam07]

I'm glad she finally come to her senses. I hope everything will be okay now. All the best with you and your wife mick! :)

[September]

Can we see her pictures:D

[estherboaz]

wishing you a happy 2010 mick.

[triple5]

I'm sure you know what you're doing, Mick, but if you were a mate of mine I'd tell you ya need your head examining. I hope she realises the stress she's put you under and now appreciates all you've done for her.

Hope it works out well.

[English Rose]

I'm glad things are better and don't like to burst the balloon - but with the two years nearly up, are you sure she's not just after permanent residency? Once she has this, it will be much easier to apply for maintenance if your marriage breaks up.

[Leo]

Hi Mick happy new year to you please be careful and dont get hurt again and dont give any more money away look after yourself

[aromulus]

:omg:

:NoNo:

:doh

[Arthur Little]

... *with the two years nearly up, are you sure she's not just after permanent residency? Once she has this, it will be much easier to apply for maintenance if your marriage breaks up.

:Erm: ... With respect, if I might correct you *here ... Mick's wife's visa was, I believe, approved towards the end of last August, and she came to the UK on September 29, 2009. Which means its 27 months' validity won't be due to expire until November 2011. Therefore, since she cannot apply for permanent residence [ILR] before August NEXT year, I don't think the motive that you suggest for her returning is likely to have any bearing on the situation as it stands. :NoNo:

[IainBusby]

Hi all, thank you for your thoughts and concern.
I have wanted to write but was a little worried at the same time as I seem to be going against much of the advice given me.

When I asked Jennifer if she would sign the divorce papers, for a divorce without using a solicitor, she said she did not want to divorce but wanted to return and make our marriage work!

So I decided to follow my heart and try, at least we would then know for sure, I would always have wondered “what if”.

Jennifer returned here December the 19th and all has been ok so far, we do have things to work through, we were apart 19 months since the marriage apart from the 12 days she was first here.

We are more or less starting again, things are much better so far and hopefully we will get through our problems.

I realise we may have problems with her not being here the full two years required for the visa, but hopefully we can work somthing out by then.

Jennifer has enjoyed our snow over the last two days, and taken pictures to send home.
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:



:omg:

:NoNo:

:doh

Hi Mick,
I'd like to be able to say I'm very happy for you that she has returned and if things do actually work out for the best for you I will be, but I really feel more worried for you than anything. She seemed to show so little concern for you when she walked out on you and returned to the Philippines and at the moment I can only think, rightly or wrongly, that she's only returned because once she got back to Phils, she found the gravy train had already left town.

I could believe that extreme homesickness could sometimes make a woman act in the way she did and everything else being equal I would be the first to give her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately I can't get my head around the fact that she was so cold towards you physically and sexually and this has led me to conclude that she doesn't appear to have any genuine affection for you.

I really hope that there are things that I just don't quite understand about your relationship and I hope also that in the long run I'm completely wrong in everything I've said in this post.

Cheers,

Iain.

[Florge]

*sigh*... that's all i can do mick... but i truly wish you good luck and i am truly hoping for the best.

[Sophie]

I hope she's back for the right reasons mick and as much as i want to be happy for you for being reunited with her, given how much you love her,
please be very careful and be more smart this time, don't let your heart and feelings cloud your judgement, sometimes we have to use our head......
I sincerely wish you all the best mick :)

[alanmf1]

Best of Luck Mick, everyone deserves happiness!

[mickcant]

I'm glad things are better and don't like to burst the balloon - but with the two years nearly up, are you sure she's not just after permanent residency? Once she has this, it will be much easier to apply for maintenance if your marriage breaks up.

Hi all,
Thank you very much for your thoughts and help.
Arthur is right about my wife’s visa it was issued 17th August 2009.
It runs until 17th November 2011 that is the 2 years and three months.


She arrived here on the 29th September 6 weeks after the visa was issued.
But was here only here 12 days then returned to the Philippines on the 13th October 2009.
She returned here on the 19-12-2009, she been in the Philippines for 16 weeks from the start of the visa, so we are 4 weeks out.
As far as I know she has to be here with me in the UK for a full 2 years out of that time to be allowed to apply for the next “further leave to remain” visa that allows her to stay in the UK and then take the test for British citizenship, I will see what can be done about that nearer the time if we survive.

We are a lot closer now, and are doing things together, but as I said we have been apart some 19 months since the wedding I do feel we have a chance and will give her and myself the time necessary to adjust.

Someone asked to see a picture of Jennifer in the snow, I have them but have fogot how to add them, I tried draging them into the text box but that does not work, I also tried usinf the attchment link, if anyone can help I will post them.
Mick.:doh

[maria_and_matt]

:NoNo::NoNo: goodluckto you mick, i hope it works out this time. i am a little worried about you, i hope she has truly changed and want to work out whatever problems she had. i hate for you to get hurt again, for your sake i hope she stays for good this time.

[justchecking]

good luck Mick - its difficult to trust again, you're a strong man, hope its worth it

[September]

:omg:

:NoNo:

:doh


Hi Mick,
Irightly or wrongly, that she's only returned because once she got back to Phils, she found the gravy train had already left town.



I really hope that there are things that I just don't quite understand about your relationship and I hope also that in the long run I'm completely wrong in everything I've said in this post.

Cheers,

Iain.

:NoNo::doh:Brick:I think of that,when she go back to phil and you didnt giv anymore money, find her difficult to live again, I hate to say this..but I dont trust her

But its your decision Mick, all we can do wish you all the best ..

[pennybarry]

Is love really understanding and kind?
Is love doesn't keep any record of wrong?
Is love conquers all? Is she's the last woman on earth for you?
True or not, at your age and being retired, all you need is enjoyment of life.
We are concerned about you Mick!
You are the only one who can feel if she's the right woman for you.
I would like to see you happy like other retired/pensioners here.:doh:doh:doh

[mickcant]

Is love really understanding and kind?
Is love doesn't keep any record of wrong?
Is love conquers all? Is she's the last woman on earth for you?
True or not, at your age and being retired, all you need is enjoyment of life.
We are concerned about you Mick!
You are the only one who can feel if she's the right woman for you.
I would like to see you happy like other retired/pensioners here.:doh:doh:doh
Thank you Penny,:cwm12:
I really do feel we have to try, and things are a lot better at the moment.
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

Hi all, I am trying toattch two photos of Jennifer in the snow, I have used the add button.
Hope they show up.
mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[pennybarry]

Hi all, I am trying toattch two photos of Jennifer in the snow, I have used the add button.
Hope they show up.
mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Well, she looks beautiful and fashionable one. :D

[maria_and_matt]

Hi all, I am trying toattch two photos of Jennifer in the snow, I have used the add button.
Hope they show up.
mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

at least now she is smiling

[English Rose]

:Erm: ... With respect, if I might correct you *here ... Mick's wife's visa was, I believe, approved towards the end of last August, and she came to the UK on September 29, 2009. Which means its 27 months' validity won't be due to expire until November 2011. Therefore, since she cannot apply for permanent residence [ILR] before August NEXT year, I don't think the motive that you suggest for her returning is likely to have any bearing on the situation as it stands. :NoNo:

Thanks for correcting me. She could still be playing the long game, though. With patience, she could set herself up nicely as a resident of the UK with all the benefits that entails.

[IainBusby]

Thanks for correcting me. She could still be playing the long game, though. With patience, she could set herself up nicely as a resident of the UK with all the benefits that entails.

You could be right, but if Mick is prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt only time will tell. Personally, after what has gone on, if I were in Mick's shoes I would at least be trying to take some steps to protect my interests financially and with regard to property etc.

Iain.

[aromulus]

if I were in Mick's shoes I would at least be trying to take some steps to protect my interests financially and with regard to property etc.

Iain.

One or two sugars in your Hemlock, Mick...???:Erm:


:doh:Bolt: :xxparty-smiley-004:

[September]

Well, she looks beautiful and fashionable one. :D

With the help of Mick :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

You could be right, but if Mick is prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt only time will tell. Personally, after what has gone on, if I were in Mick's shoes I would at least be trying to take some steps to protect my interests financially and with regard to property etc.

Iain.
Hi Iain,:xxgrinning--00xx3:
There really is nothing left to protect!
We live in a Housing Association Sheltered Home, it is a nice ground floor flat in a block of only 4 flats, they are well insulated and we get no problems with noise, and get on well with the other residents.
As it is sheltered housing, Jennifer cannot become a joint tenant, nor could she in any futcher martial dispute get me out, as I am the tenant, if I die she will have to move from the flat, this does not mean she would be made homeless but nobody can be a tenant here until they are 55 or disabled, and Jenn is 29.
As for finances I do still have some savings but not much, in an account in my name only, she cannot access it.
I have told her we need that for the next stage in her settlement plan in 2 years time.
Things do seem to be better this time, but only time will tell, I do hope it continues to get better.
To be honest, if this relationship does fail, I could not afford to start again with another woman after paying for a divorce, nor do I think would I want to.
So my only hope of being happily settled is with Jennifer, and yes I do want it to work.
I have had mixed reaction from my family (siblings) but both my sons have given us their blessing; one of them also has a Filipina partner.

Thanks Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[liane]

I wish you all the best of luck Mick. I hope her reasons for coming back to you are genuine, no ulterior motives.
Just be very careful and I hope this time she better be good to you. You've done too many things to make her happy and have a comfortable life. I wish she knows how to appreciate you with all of these.
I wish you luck in your happiness.:)

[fred]

Mick..Is she still sending your money to P.I?? Does she work? Is she sending her own cash perhaps?

Regards,
Fred.

[Ladybug_sim]

I’m just got a read now for the new update with your wifey, we followed your story and frustration, disappointment .. etc. I agreed for them too but still glad to hear that you made a decision for having your wife again… I know it is hard and not too easy but I salute the way you work your marriages now even for what the heartache she gives to you still you stand on it. You’re a truely and a very strong man… we only hope and pray that it is the last things she can do for you and I hope she do the right things too as your wife and built a happy family… she is too young still and her mind still looking something that she feel happy and make her satisfied.. I know you learn lots of things in your heart just don’t give all the trust and love again for her because it is really hard to stand again when you fall but always remember that life still keep going on and for wanting the completeness of our life we under go for all trials where we can surive or not ...time really so fast to come... you are the one who knows things just hoping it is working last forever and we wish you good luck Mr. Mickcant, this year and the years to come…

[MarBell379]

Good luck to you Mick.
Its easy to draw the conclusions that so many people seem to have come to here, but you're the man on the frontline that sees the whole picture and not just piecing together the bits fromn threads here.
As always, my advice is to be cautious, but not paranoid.
There are plenty of ways to keep an eye on people, including software to track computer usage. (I've worked in the IT industry for alooong time so if you need any info drop me a line).

Good luck - I hope to hear positive news from you for a long time to come

[MarBell379]

Good luck to you Mick.
Its easy to draw the conclusions that so many people seem to have come to here, but you're the man on the frontline that sees the whole picture and not just piecing together the bits fromn threads here.
As always, my advice is to be cautious, but not paranoid.
There are plenty of ways to keep an eye on people, including software to track computer usage. (I've worked in the IT industry for alooong time so if you need any info drop me a line).

Good luck - I hope to hear positive news from you for a long time to come

[Arthur Little]

Good luck to you Mick.

I hope to hear positive news from you for a long time to come

Hear, hear!! ... :iagree:

[mickcant]

Mick..Is she still sending your money to P.I?? Does she work? Is she sending her own cash perhaps?

Regards,
Fred.
Hi Fred. :ARsurrender:
We have not sent any money as yet since she returned, there will be some I am sure.
She does not work yet, we have applied for a National Insurance number, but they send a pack, then call her for an interview.

Does anyone know if some employers might let her start work before she has a Number?

She would if possible like to be a "carer" in a nursing home.
Thanks Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[September]

Mick..Is she still sending your money to P.I?? Does she work? Is she sending her own cash perhaps?

Regards,
Fred.

Mick, I hope you dont mind asking, we are all adult and can be nosey sometimes, you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:

[pumpkins]

Mick, I hope you dont mind asking, we are all adult and can be nosey sometimes, you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:

i am curious too..

i wish you all the best mick..
Goodluck to you both:)

[Arthur Little]

you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:


[COLOR="DarkRed"]i am curious too..

[COLOR]

:cwm24: Now then, ladies ... ahem!!

[darren-b]

Hi Fred. :ARsurrender:
We have not sent any money as yet since she returned, there will be some I am sure.
She does not work yet, we have applied for a National Insurance number, but they send a pack, then call her for an interview.

Does anyone know if some employers might let her start work before she has a Number?

She would if possible like to be a "carer" in a nursing home.
Thanks Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

No problem at all in starting work prior to getting an NI number.

[pennybarry]

Mick, I hope you dont mind asking, we are all adult and can be nosey sometimes, you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:


i am curious too..

i wish you all the best mick..
Goodluck to you both:)

I am nosey to you both.:icon_lol:
How great are you? I need more orientations.:D

:philippines::unitedkingdom::tdo13::do_it::do_it:

Mick can do it. Yes he can !:BouncyHappy::icon_lol:

[bornatbirth]

Mick, I hope you dont mind asking, we are all adult and can be nosey sometimes, you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:


i am curious too..

i wish you all the best mick..
Goodluck to you both:)


I am nosey to you both.:icon_lol:
How great are you? I need more orientations.:D

:philippines::unitedkingdom::tdo13::do_it::do_it:

Mick can do it. Yes he can !:BouncyHappy::icon_lol:

i think mick as posted enough about his relationship,maybe you would like some photos too? :doh

or you could buy a gossip mag :D

[South-east boy]

After all that Mick has gone through, I really hope that it works out this time with no more problems and they both have a very happy future together and the past problems will end up being a distant memory.

[mickcant]

Mick, I hope you dont mind asking, we are all adult and can be nosey sometimes, you told us before she dont let you make love to her, what about now ? is everything great ? :love2:

Hi all,:ARsurrender:
I hoped I had coverd this when I said as we had been apart 20 months since the wedding,apart from the 12 days she was here first, we were more or less starting again in getting close to each other.

Jennifer does now sleep in the bed normally.
The rest will hopfully follow in time.

I am really not comfotable talking about our (lack of) sex life, while everything I have said about our marriage it the truth, if Jennifer were to read that I was talking about it, I think this could couse even more damage to our relationship.
I do think things will work out given time and love.
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

if she ever read this, i think your sex life and your marriage will be over...

[aromulus]

if she ever read this, i think your sex life and your marriage will be over...

He hasn't got much, or any of either now as it stands....:doh

I haven't fully figured the angle, but I am sure he's getting stitched up.:NoNo:

I dearly hope not.

[September]

He hasn't got much, or any of either now as it stands....:doh

I haven't fully figured the angle, but I am sure he's getting stitched up.:NoNo:

I dearly hope not.

Mod your brain is working very very good :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bornatbirth]

Mod your brain is working very very good :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:icon_lol:

[Alan]

Mick - I haven't commented so far - for good reasons as far as I'm concerned.
Your family here on the forum (myself included) is only able to make comments based upon what you have stated with regard to your situation - and put forward their own personal views.

Of course, only YOU know the real truth and the real situation - none of us could come anywhere near to guessing what goes on behind the closed doors of your relationship - and therefore we come down to advising you based upon what has happened to you.

However, a lot of us have experience in matters of the heart as it were, and we have learned to spot 'red flags.'

Mick, if you will allow me, and I sincerely apologise if I am wrong, but I spot a HUGE red flag here! I only hope that I am wrong!!

I - and everyone else on your thread, are looking out for you Mick. I really hope that you know what you are doing.

If I DO turn out to be wrong, then I surrender to your chastisement!

Al.:)

[darren-b]

He hasn't got much, or any of either now as it stands....:doh

I haven't fully figured the angle, but I am sure he's getting stitched up.:NoNo:

I dearly hope not.

The angle could be fairly simple - here to work for money to send back home. After 2 years or so (if she can last that long) could get permanent residency and then do what she likes.

Like others on here I question her motives, though I really hope I am totally wrong.

[Doc Alan]

I have read everything here but likewise have resisted commenting - for two reasons:- I'm a relative newcomer ; I could also not talk about my own private life to such a degree on a public forum. As far as sex goes, that's a very sensitive topic and I felt unease at the questions regarding your sex life, even if , or perhaps because, they were not all serious, at a time when you have serious issues to resolve. I have no experience of airing matters of the heart on a forum such as this, but I am very grateful for advice given on less emotive topics such as obtaining a fiancee visa. In return I've endeavoured to offer advice on issues such as smoking and health. When I was at work people were always interested in my lovelife, I guess that's human nature, but I felt distinctly uneasy, as here, when the questioning became to my mind too personal. Of course you have my support, everyone on the forum has an interest in UK-Filipino matters, but feel free to limit what you say to your own "comfort zone".

[joebloggs]

The angle could be fairly simple - here to work for money to send back home. After 2 years or so (if she can last that long) could get permanent residency and then do what she likes.

Like others on here I question her motives, though I really hope I am totally wrong.

well all he has to do is not sign her ILR app and apply for FLR instead, stating she has not passed the life in uk test, so she will probably be given a further 2 yrs FLR. it gives them a further 2yrs to see how they get on :rolleyes: or dont get on :NoNo:

[darren-b]

well all he has to do is not sign her ILR app and apply for FLR instead, stating she has not passed the life in uk test, so she will probably be given a further 2 yrs FLR. it gives them a further 2yrs to see how they get on :rolleyes: or dont get on :NoNo:

FLR/ILR won't exist by then, but I guess they will be a similar option...

But if things are going well (or a least look to be going well..) after two years, suggesting a further probationary period might cause a bit of an arguement :Erm:

[joebloggs]

FLR/ILR won't exist by then, but I guess they will be a similar option...

But if things are going well (or a least look to be going well..) after two years, suggesting a further probationary period might cause a bit of an arguement :Erm:

well if he has his doubts and if she thinks she can automatically get ILR in 18 months or whatever,she's wrong, as he's still holding all the cards :rolleyes: and it's up to him whether she can stay here or not :Erm:

[IainBusby]

I have read everything here but likewise have resisted commenting - for two reasons:- I'm a relative newcomer ; I could also not talk about my own private life to such a degree on a public forum. As far as sex goes, that's a very sensitive topic and I felt unease at the questions regarding your sex life, even if , or perhaps because, they were not all serious, at a time when you have serious issues to resolve. I have no experience of airing matters of the heart on a forum such as this, but I am very grateful for advice given on less emotive topics such as obtaining a fiancee visa. In return I've endeavoured to offer advice on issues such as smoking and health. When I was at work people were always interested in my lovelife, I guess that's human nature, but I felt distinctly uneasy, as here, when the questioning became to my mind too personal. Of course you have my support, everyone on the forum has an interest in UK-Filipino matters, but feel free to limit what you say to your own "comfort zone".


I'm sure that most members on here are only interested in this aspect of the relationship because Mick already said that, prior to her leaving and returning to Phils, they didn't have a sex lif, which for a couple in the early stages of marriage is highly unusual.

If I remember correctly, Mick also said that since their marriage they had in fact, only had sex once and in asking these questions, I'm sure that most of the forum members were just looking for reassuring signs that her motives for returning are genuine.

Iain.

[Doc Alan]

Hi all,:ARsurrender:


I am really not comfotable talking about our (lack of) sex life

That's why I made my contribution.

[fred]

Mick..I think that the money subject is the most important one whilst you give your dear wife the benefit of the doubt..If I were you I would make it perfectly clear to her that charity starts and ends at home for the foreseeable future..When we visit and live in the Philippines we are asked to respect and understand the local culture....I think it only right that they do the same when they are immersed in ours.
Your situation is a difficult one as any marriage partnership is useless without trust...
One thing to remember..If she has Filipino friends in the UK they will know far more about the situation than you so please do not feel bad about airing your concerns to your friends on this forum ..
I hope that you manage to work everything out..Good luck Mick.
Regards,

Fred.



Hi Fred. :ARsurrender:
We have not sent any money as yet since she returned, there will be some I am sure.
She does not work yet, we have applied for a National Insurance number, but they send a pack, then call her for an interview.

Does anyone know if some employers might let her start work before she has a Number?

She would if possible like to be a "carer" in a nursing home.
Thanks Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[September]

:icon_lol:

Dont laugh, I am serious :doh...ahh sometimes love is blind

[socool007]

When she gets job offer she will get NI no quick ,stay cool dude

[RickyR]

Oh gosh, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope everything works out for you in the future