sending money for a laptop/pc?

[Scrutiny61]

Hi to all,

My lady lives and works in Manila (Pasay City & Makati City respectively) She works long hours as a waitress/cashier in a Japanese restaurant; split shifts from 11am - 2pm & 6pm till 11pm six days a week. We usually chat after she finishes her evening shift until 2-3am Phils time. She has to chat to me in an internet cafe as she doesn't possess a pc at home.

The thing that really worries me is that she often has to make her own way home in the small hours and as you can guess this scares the living daylights out of me as I've heard many bad things about Manila. Now, I've read all the excellent advice posted by experienced members of this forum regarding sending money to girls you are in a LDR with. We have been chatting for approximately six weeks and have become very close but obviously have not yet met in person.

At no time has she ever asked for money though she does mention now and again that things are tough financially and that she supports her parents. I plan to visit Phils as soon as I can save enough money to travel, but her having to be in internet cafes, very late at night and alone is quite frankly a worry (there was a fight in one of them the other night!). When i ask her about this she says that she is scared too but she didn't like to mention it to me.

So, I mentioned that I would like to send her money for a laptop/pc so she could chat to me in safety & privately etc but told her also that this would mean it would be longer before I could get to Phils. She replied that she didn't want the pc she just wanted me to come to Phils as soon as possible. However I insisted on her personal safety being paramount and she did soften her stance a little. I also asked her to promise me that the money would go towards a pc/laptop and not to any other "need" that may arise...I think this didn't go down well as she was very cool for about half a day and sent me txt messages saying she didnt want me to send money and trust issues etc...the only reason I asked her to do this was that I suppose I still have my scammer alert on and am being cautious about sending money as we have not yet met.

My instinct is good with this lady though, as I mentioned earlier she has never asked for money, she has in fact been at pains to point out that she has her own money and likes to pay her own way; she's even sent me a roaming sim card (still not arrived yet) out of her own pocket & when I suggest that I pay for it she says no its ok. I suppose her salary is reasonable by Phil standards (15,000 - 17,000 pesos per month) & she runs sidelines selling Avon stuff and clothes etc; Oh, and she has also said she would put any extra money towards a a laptop/ pc (I said I'd send £200)

I know the general consensus is not to send money untill you have actually met, but I can't stand the thought of her being in those cafes and having to go home alone late at night. My instinct is that she is a genuine Pinay sweetheart & maybe this Tampo over money piqued her pride a little? Would appreciate advice from all especially Pinay ladies...


Thank you so much for your time and anticipated advice

Scrutiny

:)

[South-east boy]

Have you thought about Notebooks? They are small versions of laptops, are cheaper and of course as they are smaller, they are much more portable so you can take them anywhere easily. You might think they are not so good as they are smaller than laptops, but I can easily surf the internet, browse and post on forums such as this on my iphone, so note books being much bigger than the phone will be easy to use.

Seen some on ebay UK less than £100 from sellers in Hong Kong as well, so from there would be easy to send to Phils.

[jaishann]

Hi to all,

My lady lives and works in Manila (Pasay City & Makati City respectively) She works long hours as a waitress/cashier in a Japanese restaurant; split shifts from 11am - 2pm & 6pm till 11pm six days a week. We usually chat after she finishes her evening shift until 2-3am Phils time. She has to chat to me in an internet cafe as she doesn't possess a pc at home.

The thing that really worries me is that she often has to make her own way home in the small hours and as you can guess this scares the living dayllights out of me as I've heard many bad things about Manila. Now, I've read all the excellent advice posted by experienced members of this forum regarding sending money to girls you are in a LDR with. We have been chatting for approximately six weeks and have become very close but obviously have not yet met in person.

At no time has she ever asked for money though she does mention now and again that things are tough financially and that she supports her parents. I plan to visit Phils as soon as I can save enough money to travel, but her having to be in internet cafes, very late at night and alone is quite frankly a worry (there was a fight in one of them the other night!). When i ask her about this she says that she is scared too but she didn't like to mention it to me.

So, I mentioned that I would like to send her money for a laptop/pc so she could chat to me in safety & privately etc but told her also that this would mean it would be longer before I could get to Phils. She replied that she didn't want the pc she just wanted me to come to Phils as soon as possible. However I insisted on her personal safety being paramount and she did soften her stance a little. I also asked her to promise me that the money would go towards a pc/laptop and not to any other "need" that may arise...I think this didn't go down well as she was very cool for about half a day and sent me txt messages saying she didnt want me to send money and trust issues etc...the only reason I asked her to do this was that I suppose I still have my scammer alert on and am being cautious about sending money as we have not yet met.

My instinct is good with this lady though, as I mentioned earlier she has never asked for money, she has in fact been at pains to point out that she has her own money and likes to pay her own way; she's even sent me a roaming sim card (still not arrived yet) out of her own pocket & when I suggest that I pay for it she says no its ok. I suppose her salary is reasonable by Phil standards (15,000 - 17,000 pesos per month) & she runs sidelines selling Avon stuff and clothes etc; Oh, and she has also said she would put any extra money towards a a laptop/ pc (I said I'd send £200)

I know the general consensus is not to send money untill you have actually met, but I can't stand the thought of her being in those cafes and having to go home alone late at night. My instinct is that she is a genuine Pinay sweetheart & maybe this Tampo over money piqued her pride a little? Would appreciate advice from all especially Pinay ladies...


Thank you so much for your time and anticipated advice

Scrutiny

:)

hello there that is very nice of you. But did you say you chat when she finishes her evening shift? and what time is that? 11pm? so internet cafe now open till late? if thats the case then its not really safe. I used to live in Pasay City near the Philtranco Terminal station. She earns about 15K+ as a waitress/cashier? thats good money in Phils. My husband BF that time sent me money as well after 7 months of chatting, he sent me to school ha ha. (Caregiver) If you are happy to give then thats ok and she will put some money towards it ,,she will need to as £200 is not enough for a laptop in Phil...so if you send now and she dont have the money to put in then you might be upset if she dont get it the time you want her to buy it. ..

[Scrutiny61]

:)
Have you thought about Notebooks? They are small versions of laptops, are cheaper and of course as they are smaller, they are much more portable so you can take them anywhere easily. You might think they are not so good as they are smaller than laptops, but I can easily surf the internet, browse and post on forums such as this on my iphone, so note books being much bigger than the phone will be easy to use.

Seen some on ebay UK less than £100 from sellers in Hong Kong as well, so from there would be easy to send to Phils.

yeah, good point south east boy, she did mention a notebook actually; do they support webcams though?

Thx

Scrutiny

:)

[bob2009]

I got a half decent branded netbook in makati computer alley for about 18000 peso with built in cam, to give you an idea about prices. £200 being 15,000 or maybe 14,000 after transfer fees just a bit short for a half decent one.

[Scrutiny61]

hello there that is very nice of you. But did you say you chat when she finishes her evening shift? and what time is that? 11pm? so internet cafe now open till late? if thats the case then its not really safe. I used to live in Pasay City near the Philtranco Terminal station. She earns about 15K+ as a waitress/cashier? thats good money in Phils. My husband BF that time sent me money as well after 7 months of chatting, he sent me to school ha ha. (Caregiver) If you are happy to give then thats ok and she will put some money towards it ,,she will need to as £200 is not enough for a laptop in Phil...so if you send now and she dont have the money to put in then you might be upset if she dont get it the time you want her to buy it. ..

Thx Jaishann, yes I know it's not safe for her and will probably send the money. She will tell me when she has enough to put to to purchase the laptop. The fact that she is doing this i think is a good sign yes? kind of like an act of faith on her part...

Thx

Scrutiny

:)

[ca143]

:)

yeah, good point south east boy, she did mention a notebook actually; do they support webcams though?

Thx

Scrutiny

:)
some notebook have already built in webcam.try to check ADVENT notebook on ebay.:D

[IainBusby]

Don't forget that it will mean that it will cost her about P1000 a month for wifi access if she wants to be able to use the laptop online, whereas web cafes only cost P20 an hour.

[bob2009]

Globe do payg internet access, so can be much less than 1000 per month

[Scrutiny61]

Thx guys and girls, would be happy to contribute to wifi costs too as I have a gut feeling that she's the real thing...

Scrutiny

[Scrutiny61]

Don't forget that it will mean that it will cost her about P1000 a month for wifi access if she wants to be able to use the laptop online, whereas web cafes only cost P20 an hour.

we speak every night for at least 3 hours so guess that would work out at more than 1000 per month anyway...thanks for the advice though

:):):)

[joebloggs]

i would put the money to an air ticket and go and see her asap
that's what she wants anyway and just tell her to go to the inet cafe when its safe.

what time in the UK do you normally speak to her ?

and another manc, what part of manchester are you from ?

where's all the scousers gone :Erm: , washed away with the rain :rolleyes:

[jonathan47]

if you feel she is a sweet heart i would say do it. Manila is not the place for a good girl to be walking around at that time of night and for your piece of mind its a cheap price..how long until you go there ?
you could always pick up a second hand laptop here and send it to her...and also the mobile fone dongle work in manila so maybe not need to wifi up or instal a landline.... i wish you luck mate and go with you gut feeling if she spending 3 hours a night talking with you at that time when she works that hard means shes into you,,, be careful of offending her with trust issues easiest way to upset a good girl filipina IMHO

regards


jonathan

[bob2009]

Actually, yeah forget the laptop.

Just book a ticket and go over.

If your single, well what better time of the year to get out of cold dreary expensive britain ?

If you're a manc, you ll be right at home in Manila, they have malls just like the arndale, except bigger and nicer and full of stuff you d actually like to buy!

[aromulus]

Buy a laptop here, pre-load it with all kinds of useful software, then fly overthere, spend some time together, and check things out...

If all is kosher leave the laptop with her and open a wi-fi account.

Like the meerkat says....

"Simples"....

[joebloggs]

If you're a manc, you ll be right at home in Manila, they have malls just like the arndale, except bigger and nicer and full of stuff you d actually like to buy!

the arndale is pretty :action-smiley-081: compared to what it use to be like, when the corn exchange was a market upto 1996 before the IRA damaged it.

thou i like the Malls in the phils compare to the arndale or trafford centre, especially when they sold dodgy dvds' :D

[Sim11UK]

A difficult one here, but if it's a case of visiting sooner, or getting a laptop and visiting later, I'd visit first.

I understand your anxiety, but that's what i'd do.

[Scrutiny61]

Hey, thanks to all for your advice. I work in education so I have to go in school/college holidays which inevitably means elevated plane fares; the Christmas period is anything upwards from £1000 at the moment. My next hols are not till Feb then only for a week so I'm thinking April is better when i will be off for 2 weeks. this also means with more time to save I might be able to manage the lappy/pc too!

cheers to all for sound counsel

:)

[Scrutiny61]

i would put the money to an air ticket and go and see her asap
that's what she wants anyway and just tell her to go to the inet cafe when its safe.

what time in the UK do you normally speak to her ?

and another manc, what part of manchester are you from ?

where's all the scousers gone :Erm: , washed away with the rain :rolleyes:

Am in Eccles at the moment; and as for scousers, one of my best friends is .....etc, etc, etc...:icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

Am in Eccles at the moment; and as for scousers, one of my best friends is .....etc, etc, etc...:icon_lol:

i would probably know the street you live on, I should know - lived in Eccles all my life :doh

I'm in Peel Green neighbour :icon_lol:

April will cost you more for the same reason - School holidays :doh


might be good idea holding on til jan, usually some Jan sales on (hopefully Singapore Airlines :rolleyes:)

[whiteraven]

if you feel she is a sweet heart i would say do it. Manila is not the place for a good girl to be walking around at that time of night and for your piece of mind its a cheap price..how long until you go there ?
you could always pick up a second hand laptop here and send it to her...and also the mobile fone dongle work in manila so maybe not need to wifi up or instal a landline.... i wish you luck mate and go with you gut feeling if she spending 3 hours a night talking with you at that time when she works that hard means shes into you,,, be careful of offending her with trust issues easiest way to upset a good girl filipina IMHO

regards


jonathan

:iagree:i think the only issue you have with this obvious gem is whether you buy the laptop or visit her first. i know which i would do,exactly as i did visit lady first then pc:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Scrutiny61]

i would probably know the street you live on, I should know - lived in Eccles all my life :doh

I'm in Peel Green neighbour :icon_lol:

April will cost you more for the same reason - School holidays :doh


might be good idea holding on til jan, usually some Jan sales on (hopefully Singapore Airlines :rolleyes:)

Wow! small world, me too...Brookhouse! :omg:

I know the only other window I got is Feb and may struggle to have enough by then anyway, what with Christmas and all!

:)

[jonathan47]

bank loan !!

have some of your money back the public gave them !

jj

[Scrutiny61]

:iagree:i think the only issue you have with this obvious gem is whether you buy the laptop or visit her first. i know which i would do,exactly as i did visit lady first then pc:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Trouble is, I cant get to Phils until Feb at the absolute earliest...& even then it would be a push. leaving it till April might mean I can do both; it is only a month or two longer & it means her personal safety is guaranteed. You're right about one thing though, she is an absolute gem :cwm38:

:):):)

[Scrutiny61]

if you feel she is a sweet heart i would say do it. Manila is not the place for a good girl to be walking around at that time of night and for your piece of mind its a cheap price..how long until you go there ?
you could always pick up a second hand laptop here and send it to her...and also the mobile fone dongle work in manila so maybe not need to wifi up or instal a landline.... i wish you luck mate and go with you gut feeling if she spending 3 hours a night talking with you at that time when she works that hard means shes into you,,, be careful of offending her with trust issues easiest way to upset a good girl filipina IMHO

regards


jonathan

Thx jonathan, I think you may be right! :)

[joebloggs]

Wow! small world, me too...Brookhouse! :omg:

I know the only other window I got is Feb and may struggle to have enough by then anyway, what with Christmas and all!

:)

brookhouse :icon_lol: you would have to cross Liverpool Road to get to me :D

I went to Eccles C of E High School on there, brookhouse is only a stones throw away from me :D, less than 1/2 a mile away depending on what road you live on. i use to take my dog for a walk in the cemetery there

well apolloshark a member on here, use to live not far from me on Liverpool road :rolleyes:

yes can be a small world :D

[Sim11UK]

well apolloshark a member on here

Have you been on the sherry, or had a bad trippp? ...Poor Aposhark :doh

[darren-b]

Trouble is, I cant get to Phils until Feb at the absolute earliest...& even then it would be a push. leaving it till April might mean I can do both; it is only a month or two longer & it means her personal safety is guaranteed. You're right about one thing though, she is an absolute gem :cwm38:

:):):)

Personal safety guaranteed? No such thing especially in the Philippines :NoNo:

[joebloggs]

Have you been on the sherry, or had a bad trippp? ...Poor Aposhark :doh

:doh
:icon_lol:
:NoNo:
sorry aposhark .. nah old age :Rasp:


it's like going to liverpool, don't go out in the dark, don't go to area's where the risks increase or on your own. :D

i've only ever felt at risk a few times.

once was when we were watching a film on new years eve in a mall, when we came out of the cinema it must have been after 9pm, all the mall was locked up, it looked like we were in the middle of nowhere, couldn't find a taxi and miles from home :cwm24:

another time on palawan, when some soldiers were stopping and searching all the cars :cwm24:

apart from that i've had no problems, just minimise your risks. :rolleyes:

[Northerner]

Hi Scrutiny,

I would recomend you take over a netbook with you, if you can wait till whenever that will be?

I recently spent just under three weeks in the Philippines with my g/f and took a latop with me with the intention of leaving it behind. Not just for internet though as I used to spend £££ on texts with Rizza when she finished work in the evenings and she had nothing to do (she lives in a boarding house in Cebu city away from her family while she works), so now she has a DVD player, MP3s as well as access to t'internet to stop her getting bored:)

But some advice I was given on this forum when I first started seeing Rizza was how our mahals might not tell you if they struggle with money.. But they probably are struggling and would shy away from asking for help, but perhaps they could do with it..

If she is genuine and you think you have found the lady for you, then don't let others tell you it's wrong to send money. It is after all, yours to send. But just remember to trust your instincts! I was once a victim of a young lady who was always asking for money, for this or for that and al the while was spending like crazy on a lifestyle with her "friends". One of these friends got her pregnant and I never knew till after the baby was born.. Long story short, I failed to trust my instincts which screamed STOP, everytime I walked into a western union shop. But it was a lesson learnt, and for that I am better today for it.

Good luck:xxgrinning--00xx3: fellow Manc



:rolleyes:

[Sim11UK]

If you are planning to visit, I would wait until you can go for 2 weeks...never done a weeks visit & I wouldn't fancy it + by the time you get there it is more or less time to come back.

The only thing I would say, like Joe previously said is that those are the Easter holidays, so airfares are going to be expensive.

I'd look to get out of Manila after a few days, personally, I don't like it very much. I don't think you get a real sense of the Philippines, until you leave there. Of course this is just my opinion & it all depends what you both like doing. :)

[IainBusby]

Buy a laptop here, pre-load it with all kinds of useful software, then fly overthere, spend some time together, and check things out...

If all is kosher leave the laptop with her and open a wi-fi account.

Like the meerkat says....

"Simples"....

Dead On.

[Scrutiny61]

Hi Scrutiny,

I would recomend you take over a netbook with you, if you can wait till whenever that will be?

I recently spent just under three weeks in the Philippines with my g/f and took a latop with me with the intention of leaving it behind. Not just for internet though as I used to spend £££ on texts with Rizza when she finished work in the evenings and she had nothing to do (she lives in a boarding house in Cebu city away from her family while she works), so now she has a DVD player, MP3s as well as access to t'internet to stop her getting bored:)

But some advice I was given on this forum when I first started seeing Rizza was how our mahals might not tell you if they struggle with money.. But they probably are struggling and would shy away from asking for help, but perhaps they could do with it..

If she is genuine and you think you have found the lady for you, then don't let others tell you it's wrong to send money. It is after all, yours to send. But just remember to trust your instincts! I was once a victim of a young lady who was always asking for money, for this or for that and al the while was spending like crazy on a lifestyle with her "friends". One of these friends got her pregnant and I never knew till after the baby was born.. Long story short, I failed to trust my instincts which screamed STOP, everytime I walked into a western union shop. But it was a lesson learnt, and for that I am better today for it.

Good luck:xxgrinning--00xx3: fellow Manc



:rolleyes:

Thx Northener :)

[cheesewiz]

good luck and hope she is the one:xxgrinning--00xx3:

I didn't know that internet cafe in Phils is 24 hrs now or I just misunderstood your post about chatting 2-3am:Erm:

[South-east boy]

Re my thread about sending items by courier, some companies will not let you send laptops etc and even though some will, your lady will have a very high customs charge when it arrives in Philippines. With my parcel they are charging her (but she can't pay, so it looks like I will have to) 33% :omg: of the value of the items in the parcel and there are no electronics-i think some electronics are meant to have even higher customs charges! :NoNo:

[Tawi2]

good luck and hope she is the one:xxgrinning--00xx3:

I didn't know that internet cafe in Phils is 24 hrs now or I just misunderstood your post about chatting 2-3am:Erm:

Quite a few internet cafes in Pinas are 24 hour cheese,my friends does a promo between midnight and 7am:)

[estherboaz]

if you really want to buy her a laptop you could buy in Villman. http://villman.com/. it is a known computer retailer in the philippines.

[keithAngel]

Just on the side of caution Its only six weeks

You dont say how far she has to go to get home and if you met at that time shes been doing it for how long safely

If she is off in the afternoon you could get up early and chat then win win

On balance go there first is my advice send her some flowers and or chocs if you want to give somthing to show your feelings:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Doc Alan]

There is very good advice elsewhere on this forum on the cost of courtship with a filipina, which I believe everyone should read. If I may add to the advice you have been given, it's just to confirm that you should trust your instincts, make sure you can afford not only the computer but also the flight and everything else, preferably without taking a loan !
I trust my girlfriend enough to have paid for her computer, and hope to visit her next April/May. Just for the record I was also the victim of a young lady who was always needing money ... she was not from the Philippines but from the UK and the Prosecution Service is considering the case. That experience reinforced to me the expression "the benefits of hindsight" . This forum is very helpful in foresight which is a far safer approach !