Issue of sending money to family in pinas

[filipina_owl]

Do some filipina here send money for their family in the philippines? I just got here in uk not so long ago and my family and some relatives in pinas are asking me if i could help them with their financial dilemmas. Most of them were asking me to send them some presents, like christmas or birthday gifts or even money and etc. Well i know that we filipinos have very close family ties but you see, i dont have a job here yet and most importantly i am expecting and due any time soon. My husband is working very hard to support me and he is saving for our baby's future. We have bills to pay and things to buy for our baby as well.

I dont want to ask my husband for money just to send to the philippines. My husband is working so hard and i pity him because im not contributing anything as of now. If i do want to send money to my family in the philippines, i want it to come from my own pocket. So now, if they ask me to send this and that, i just tell them that i cant send them anything because i dont have a job yet. But they will tease me that im too tight and that i should share my blessings... They think life in the uk is very easy...:angry::NoNo::cwm23:

[aromulus]

But they will tease me that im too tight and that i should share my blessings... They think life in the uk is very easy...:angry::NoNo::cwm23:

What blessings....?:Erm:

Just tell them straight and to the point that you married your husband for love, and not to keep them in luxuries.
You are having a baby, have no job, you don't want to put your husband in a spot.... this is all pressure that you don't need.

When baby is old enough, and you get a job, you "may" be able to contribute a little, but they have to understand that your small family comes first.

Obviously in case of a real emergency, I don't see a reason for not helping.

[South-east boy]

I totally understand your dilemma and agree with Dom. If you were not expecting things would be easier and easier still if you were working. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one or two of your very direct family (brother, sister or parents) asking, but I know in these some cases it ends up with extended family and even other people asking for things. I just wish people in other countries would not think that this is NOT the land of milk & honey and we are in a recession so it's hard on a lot of people. Of course it's not as hard as it is over there, but we still need to get by and not get into debt.

I can only that you could send a balikbayan box back at some point and just add small not too expensive things to the box now & again when you can and say that this is all that you can do.

The other problem which arises when you do give things, especially as soon as they ask, is that they always expect it again and start to take it for granted. Sometimes you just have a be a bit tough, but I know it' not easy. :NoNo:

[abby]

oh dear kathy! better tell them the real scenario here. You're here to be with your loved one and start your own family. Let them realize whats life here... I know it would be hard to deal with it.

I also told my family then that i'll do help them incase they needed but that would happened only when i'll be earning my own money. DOnt want to bother my husband for money to be sent back home.

Go girl.....

[Arthur Little]

I've mentioned this before ... and, again, I don't want to sound complacent in any way. :NoNo: But I guess I'M very lucky on that score ... since MY wife's immediate relatives are all self-sufficient. And, whilst I realise there ARE people whose circumstances place them in a less fortunate situation, :iagree: with the views expressed by the other respondents in so far as "charity begins at home" ... in YOUR case, Kathy ... the small family unit consisting of you, your husband and forthcoming baby.

[pumpkins]

i just got here also in uk but i am not sending any money to phils coz i dont have a reason to:Erm:.and not only that i dont have money to send..:icon_lol: i dont have a work yet..and even i have own money, i need to help my husband in paying bills , buying our food and saving for our future..thats my priority. if i have some money excess from the budget, i can send a enough amount for my youngest brother for his study in college - just a little help :)

[johncar54]

I know it can be difficult. My wife sends money from time to time but it is less often now than it was 3 years ago when she came here.

The relatives need to understand that although the standard of living in Europe is higher than in Phil money still does not grow on trees.

[pennybarry]

Good for you for having good principles for being a wife. But if you are also a filipina wife who is desperately want to send money and thinking how hard is to live in Pinas, I can still understand her if she wants to help her family as that's in our culture to help them.:xxgrinning--00xx3: But if you will help member of family who is lazy and can't move their ass to find work or lazy to study, that is completely no hope for me to understand. :D

Maybe I am just lucky enough as I don't need to help sisters and brothers as their house is far better than mine and they always tell me to save even single penny so that in the future, we have our own beatiful house and business. But of course I have my soft heart to my nephew whom I paid his full year service bus as a promise for being scholar and belong to top 5 in his class. I do help my nieces if they can promise me that they will pass their board exam, I will pay their IELTS, send them gifts if they can prove me they are doing good in their class. That's all I can help with them. I help and send money to my Nanay but most of the time, she gives more than I could give to her. :doh:bigcry:

[filipina_owl]

Thanks for the points of view guys...:)

[IainBusby]

Do some filipina here send money for their family in the philippines? I just got here in uk not so long ago and my family and some relatives in pinas are asking me if i could help them with their financial dilemmas. Most of them were asking me to send them some presents, like christmas or birthday gifts or even money and etc. Well i know that we filipinos have very close family ties but you see, i dont have a job here yet and most importantly i am expecting and due any time soon. My husband is working very hard to support me and he is saving for our baby's future. We have bills to pay and things to buy for our baby as well.

I dont want to ask my husband for money just to send to the philippines. My husband is working so hard and i pity him because im not contributing anything as of now. If i do want to send money to my family in the philippines, i want it to come from my own pocket. So now, if they ask me to send this and that, i just tell them that i cant send them anything because i dont have a job yet. But they will tease me that im too tight and that i should share my blessings... They think life in the uk is very easy...:angry::NoNo::cwm23:

Don't let them lay a guilt trip on you, just stick to your guns and tell them that cotrarary to what they may think life in the UK is like and how rich we all are over here, money has to be hard earned and doesn't just grow on trees. You leave them in no doubt that you came here as a wife who's purpose is to build a family with her husband, not as an OFW who's sole purpose is to work and support the family back home.




you could send a balikbayan box back at some point and just add small not too expensive things to the box now & again when you can and say that this is all that you can do.

That's the best to do, when your going around the supermarket, just add a few things to your basket each week and when you've collected enough and your husband can afford to send it, send them a balikbayan box.



The other problem which arises when you do give things, especially as soon as they ask, is that they always expect it again and start to take it for granted. Sometimes you just have a be a bit tough, but I know it' not easy. :NoNo:

As South-East-Boy says, this can become a very slippery slope and in my experience, whatever you do send will never be enough and they will always think that (living here in the land of milk and honey) you could afford much more.


oh dear kathy! better tell them the real scenario here. You're here to be with your loved one and start your own family. Let them realize whats life here... I know it would be hard to deal with it.

I also told my family then that i'll do help them incase they needed but that would happened only when i'll be earning my own money. DOnt want to bother my husband for money to be sent back home.

Go girl.....

:appl::appl::appl:

[fred]

The relatives need to understand that although the standard of living in Europe is higher than in Phil money still does not grow on trees.\

Actually I have managed to convince a few here that it DOES!!
My money tree back in the UK is harvested reguarly by my sister that stuffs it all into a bulging balikbayan box addressed to me once every 6 months...Ive asked that she include a few saplings for the guys here but they never seem to survive the journey..
One asked me to request more..
Either he had consumed more alcohol than I thought possible or he indeed was just plain dumb.

[xebec]

Im sending money to my parents when i started working, i know how hard life in Philippines.I just let them know that earning money here is not easy and you have to work hard.

Daisy

[Doc Alan]

I'm sorry I can't add much to this thread but it's very helpful. I'm aware of the "extended family" situation and the emotional blackmail ( "are you a Christian?" ; "my six godsons, widowed father and two brothers in the province at Christmas" ...) and how hard it is to say "no". It's especially hard when we buy even modest gifts for loved ones and friends in the UK, clearly, proving we've had the money. I guess it's a source of conflict in many Filipino-UK relationships.

[Fitzy]

Do some filipina here send money for their family in the philippines? I just got here in uk not so long ago and my family and some relatives in pinas are asking me if i could help them with their financial dilemmas. Most of them were asking me to send them some presents, like christmas or birthday gifts or even money and etc. Well i know that we filipinos have very close family ties but you see, i dont have a job here yet and most importantly i am expecting and due any time soon. My husband is working very hard to support me and he is saving for our baby's future. We have bills to pay and things to buy for our baby as well.

I dont want to ask my husband for money just to send to the philippines. My husband is working so hard and i pity him because im not contributing anything as of now. If i do want to send money to my family in the philippines, i want it to come from my own pocket. So now, if they ask me to send this and that, i just tell them that i cant send them anything because i dont have a job yet. But they will tease me that im too tight and that i should share my blessings... They think life in the uk is very easy...:angry::NoNo::cwm23:

Congratulations to you both firstly.

Not much I can say really, because the members have mirrored my thoughts on the matter.

All the very best to you both , and your forthcoming baby.

How sweet:Hellooo:

[Juana]

It was luck I guess that I got a job during the first month I got here in the UK. But for 3 years I have not sent money (regular remittance) to my folks/siblings back home apart from the odd special occasions. I have told them from the start that we (soon to be-ex and I) needed to start our lives together (buying house, etc) and that's my priority. They haven't actually asked but there were the odd hints.
For 3 years also, I was unable to go back home to visit even I felt really homesick because I just can't afford it.
I wasn't earning much then but still managed to save some aside so I helped out my OH to pay his loans. Never been dependent on my husband financially. In fact, I have contributed more (time,money & effort) in the relationship than him. But that's another issue.
I guess what Im trying to say is that they have to understand that you have a life of your own now with your husband and a baby on the way. Explain your circumstances clearly and if they do really care for you that way then everything should just come easy.
And now I got a good paying job, not only my folks get regular remittance but Im also paying for my sister's college tuition, bought my mom a nearly brand new car, and now will be sending three of them to US for a holiday! (Geez Im broke!)
And for my soon to be ex, he can now go to h*ll! Very bad investment!!!

[fred]

I'm sorry I can't add much to this thread but it's very helpful. I'm aware of the "extended family" situation and the emotional blackmail ( "are you a Christian?" ; "my six godsons, widowed father and two brothers in the province at Christmas" ...) and how hard it is to say "no". It's especially hard when we buy even modest gifts for loved ones and friends in the UK, clearly, proving we've had the money. I guess it's a source of conflict in many Filipino-UK relationships.

One thing to remember..They dont act this way exclusively to us foreigners..They do this to any family member that is working oversees..Its very hard to digest for most Brits and yet here it is normal cultural practice..A duty.
If you look at how OFW`s have kept the Philippine economy alive during a world recession simply by sending record remittances home.
It demonstrates just how powerful this cultural practice has become!!

[JonHig]

I can fully understand all you say and how yoiu feel. You just have to be firm with yourself and put your own familiy first. The problem is when you marry a foreign guy, is that he is automatically assumed to be rich. When i arrived in the Philippines i was immediately pounced on, not by my wife's relatives, but by their friends!

I made a big mistake when i lent 100000 pesos to a school, where my wife's children by her first marriage had attended at one time. They needed to refurbish the place -that was an understatement! Anyway i never saw the money again. My own fault of course for getting involved in the first place of course. it taught me a lot about living here though!

You say you have just arrived in the UK. How did you find getting a settleement visa? Was it difficult and how long did it take please. Forgive me asking this, but i am just about to start this process myself.

Thank you and best of luck with everything you do!
John

[JonHig]

Oops sorry...i didn't look at the date of your post. Stupid of me.. I must be reaching my 'sell by' date!

[JonHig]

Dear dear dear:doh things are getting worse. I read your join date and not your post date so all is OK really. I will soon sort myself out hopefully:crazy:

All the best
John

[South-east boy]

Dear dear dear:doh things are getting worse. I read your join date and not your post date so all is OK really. I will soon sort myself out hopefully:crazy:

All the best
John

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: I'm sure that you'll soon get used to it here!

[filipina_owl]

To all good folks who replied to my thread, thank you all. To jonHig, we applied for our settlement visa and sorted all necessary documents after we got married in the philippines. I got my my visa after 9 days. Just makes sure you have everything in order.

As to the issue, some of my relatives are teasing me that the value of british pounds is high in the philippines so it wouldnt be too much if i send them money. :doh Now, thats what stressed me out. Well if only i have a job, by all means i wouldnt hesitate because i love my family in pinas. But like i said, im expecting and my husband doesnt want me to work for now so i just hope they would stop teasing me and that they would wait until i get a job. My husband is a very good provider, he makes sure i have everything i need so it will be too much if i ask money to send in the philippines dont you think...:rolleyes:

[IainBusby]

To all good folks who replied to my thread, thank you all. To jonHig, we applied for our settlement visa and sorted all necessary documents after we got married in the philippines. I got my my visa after 9 days. Just makes sure you have everything in order.

As to the issue, some of my relatives are teasing me that the value of british pounds is high in the philippines so it wouldnt be too much if i send them money. :doh Now, thats what stressed me out. Well if only i have a job, by all means i wouldnt hesitate because i love my family in pinas. But like i said, im expecting and my husband doesnt want me to work for now so i just hope they would stop teasing me and that they would wait until i get a job. My husband is a very good provider, he makes sure i have everything i need so it will be too much if i ask money to send in the philippines dont you think...:rolleyes:

Even when you've got a job you have to put your UK family first and look to the future when you might need your own money for other things if and when your circumstances change. You have to explain to them that in this country the culture is totally different, in the UK most people have to save money to ensure they have enough to pay for any emergency that may arise. You should tell your family, don't ask and don't expect, but if I do at any time have some money to spare, I will try to send you something.

Iain.

[joebloggs]

as I've said b4, it's easy to spend and waste money that someone else has worked their :action-smiley-081: off to earn :NoNo:

now where's my misses purse :D

[pennybarry]

not as an OFW who's sole purpose is to work and support the family back home.

I'm thankful my hubby didn't dare to tell me that. :omg:


That's the best to do, when your going around the supermarket, just add a few things to your basket each week and when you've collected enough and your husband can afford to send it, send them a balikbayan box.


his is cool:xxgrinning--00xx3:




You should tell your family, don't ask and don't expect.



Ouch! I have no heart if I tell that to my nearest and dearest although, they never ask money from me and hubby. Even if they ask, I can't still tell those words.!
note: I still respect others views and opinions.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[johncar54]

............. when your going around the supermarket, just add a few things to your basket each week and when you've collected enough and your husband can afford to send it, send them a balikbayan box.

I can never understand why anyone would buy anything in the 'west' then spend money on sending a box to Pinas. It must be much better value to send the cash as I am sure everything is cheaper there.

Maybe be sending items which one no longer has a use for could be slightly different. Like people working for rich people who buy for example a cell fone and after a short while discard it for another model. Salvaging that and sending makes sense.

[keithAngel]

Like people working for rich people who buy for example a cell fone and after a short while discard it for another model. Salvaging that and sending makes sense.

Except you cant eat "load" :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

It must be much better value to send the cash as I am sure everything is cheaper there.

Very true, John ...:gp:!

[South-east boy]

I can see John's point, but at least you know what you send will be used and as you are sending them, of course they will be good things! Sending money never seems quite the same (I hate sending money for presents as it seems to impersonal) and some people will end up wasting it on other things rather that what are essentials/usual things. I'm also sure that with sending money they will come to expect more and get used to it. Remember also that sending money is not free.

[IainBusby]

I can see John's point, but at least you know what you send will be used and as you are sending them, of course they will be good things! Sending money never seems quite the same (I hate sending money for presents as it seems to impersonal) and some people will end up wasting it on other things rather that what are essentials/usual things. I'm also sure that with sending money they will come to expect more and get used to it. Remember also that sending money is not free.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[ca143]

for me its okey they call me greedy or tight than softhearted.........im already nearly 3 yrs here and a plain housewife....so my family and relatives expect nothing from me.:D

[lyka]

not all ofw sending all the money back home...

[Arthur Little]

not all ofw sending all the money back home...

:iagree: ... my wife doesn't. :NoNo: She's a home-maker ... apart from which - as a former teacher in the Phils - she is involved in voluntary work that she enjoys.

[Les_lady888]

It will always be innate for evey Filipino to become softhearted when it comes to family. As you all know, filipinos are known to always have close family ties. Even those not part of the family can call you "Ate" or "Kuya","Tita" or "Tito". A Filipino always value his/her own family no matter what to the greatest extent.

It is true that most Filipinos if not all have this notion that life in the west is a life filled with milk and honey....so the reason when one learns that she marries a western guy, she is expected to have a good life with him out there. Filipinos will have the tendency to compare the difference in the currency conversion to the kind of life you will be living with.

So for every filipino, whether with or without a job overseas,there will always have this desire to share his/her "blessings" to the family or relatives she left back home......and not being able to do so will give her/him a slight guilt. Whether her family back home is financially able or not, a filipino always have this value of giving and sharing.

[pennybarry]

............. when your going around the supermarket, just add a few things to your basket each week and when you've collected enough and your husband can afford to send it, send them a balikbayan box.

I can never understand why anyone would buy anything in the 'west' then spend money on sending a box to Pinas. It must be much better value to send the cash as I am sure everything is cheaper there.

Maybe be sending items which one no longer has a use for could be slightly different. Like people working for rich people who buy for example a cell fone and after a short while discard it for another model. Salvaging that and sending makes sense.

You are practically right but for most filipina wives, balikbayan box is just a way of thinking your family back home. For me, it is also our family's way of lambing or to show fondness and affection. My little 3-4 year old cousins told me, ate, if you will send me chocolates and dolls I will be very good like angels in heaven. I was touched with their magical words ehehhehe, i feel how desperately they want it and found it is cheaper to buy here second hand dolls so why not? I used to send cappuchino coffee to my Mom as she love it and I can't really find it in SM. I just always want to give the very best to my 82 yr old Nanay. So it is the fondness and affection to us that counts. Not the cost of the box.



for me its okey they call me greedy or tight than softhearted.........im already nearly 3 yrs here and a plain housewife....so my family and relatives expect nothing from me.:D

I think it depends upon the family you have, depends upon what you have and depends upon your innerside. Some people choose to be happy called as greedy, some people feels really happy to help. But most of filipino families are happy in helping each other. I have seen so many successful filipino families who did sharing and helping each other.



It will always be innate for evey Filipino to become softhearted when it comes to family. As you all know, filipinos are known to always have close family ties. Even those not part of the family can call you "Ate" or "Kuya","Tita" or "Tito". A Filipino always value his/her own family no matter what to the greatest extent.

It is true that most Filipinos if not all have this notion that life in the west is a life filled with milk and honey....so the reason when one learns that she marries a western guy, she is expected to have a good life with him out there. Filipinos will have the tendency to compare the difference in the currency conversion to the kind of life you will be living with.

So for every filipino, whether with or without a job overseas,there will always have this desire to share his/her "blessings" to the family or relatives she left back home......and not being able to do so will give her/him a slight guilt. Whether her family back home is financially able or not, a filipino always have this value of giving and sharing.


I believe, it is our culture having a close family ties.
I have also noticed that british people in general, understands and respects others culture. I watched t.v. and read their magazines and newspapers how they respect muslim culture, gypsys, indians and other countries.
So it is not difficult for me to explain to hubby and be proud of our culture.

[English Rose]

It's better to send food or other gifts rather than money. My friend had a bit of (my) money left over at the end of the day, which he gave to his granddaughter for texting, rather than to his daughter who was looking after the granddaughter's baby and had no money for milk.
I soon realised my friend and his family were happy to take as much money from me as I was prepared to give, and would not stop until I was as poor as they were. The worse part about it is that they thought it was for my own good, because this culture is greedy and selfish and should learn to share.

[IainBusby]

It's better to send food or other gifts rather than money. My friend had a bit of (my) money left over at the end of the day, which he gave to his granddaughter for texting, rather than to his daughter who was looking after the granddaughter's baby and had no money for milk.
I soon realised my friend and his family were happy to take as much money from me as I was prepared to give, and would not stop until I was as poor as they were. The worse part about it is that they thought it was for my own good, because this culture is greedy and selfish and should learn to share.

How nice of them to help you with your greed and selfishness problem. :Erm::Erm::Erm:

[filipina_owl]

My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...:doh I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it... :Erm::bigcry:

[IainBusby]

My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...:doh I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it... :Erm::bigcry:

Not really something that she really needs...... just something she fancies having and she thinks you'll be daft enough to buy for her. If she was asking for money for a real emergency or for school/college fees etc then, if it were me, I might consider it, but this is far from a necessity and if and when you do decide to send money, IMHO you should only send it for real necessities or emergencies, not just to satisfy her whims. :cwm23::cwm23::cwm23:

Iain.

Not just a coach bag, but an original (by this I assume she means a designer label) coach bag.

[maria_and_matt]

My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...:doh I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it... :Erm::bigcry:

maybe it is just lambing:) i have to admit i do not work but i send money home monthly for my mum who had a heart operation 6 months ago. my hubby totally understands life back home, and he does not mind us helping out. we send my little niece to school. there was a time when i didnt send money nor balikbayan boxes back home (for a year), my husband told me to start helping out again, he told me to share what we have here. although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough. there is always something urgent. but at the end of the day, my mother won't be with us for a long time and i am happy that we are doing what we can to make life comfortable for her.

[IainBusby]

maybe it is just lambing:) i have to admit i do not work but i send money home monthly for my mum who had a heart operation 6 months ago. my hubby totally understands life back home, and he does not mind us helping out. we send my little niece to school. there was a time when i didnt send money nor balikbayan boxes back home (for a year), my husband told me to start helping out again, he told me to share what we have here. although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough. there is always something urgent. but at the end of the day, my mother won't be with us for a long time and i am happy that we are doing what we can to make life comfortable for her.

We have an old saying in this country which is "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" and I personally would find it offensive and insulting if I ever heard or was given the expression that that they thought "it's not enough"

[maria_and_matt]

We have an old saying in this country which is "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" and I personally would find it offensive and insulting if I ever heard or was given the expression that that they thought "it's not enough"

FYI my mother didnt say that what we send is not enough, we, my husband especially asks my mum if she bought all of her medicines and she'd say no coz the cost is too high, and she didnt have enough to buy it all. my hubby do not find that offensive at all.

[IainBusby]

FYI my mother didnt say that what we send is not enough, we, my husband especially asks my mum if she bought all of her medicines and she'd say no coz the cost is too high, and she didnt have enough to buy it all. my hubby do not find that offensive at all.


I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you did say "although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough" which gave me impression that your family did not think that what you have sent is enough, do you mean that you get annoyed because you do not think that what you have sent is enough?

[maria_and_matt]

I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you did say "although sometimes i get annoyed when what we send is not enough" which gave me impression that your family did not think that what you have sent is enough, do you mean that you get annoyed because you do not think that what you have sent is enough?

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family. :bigcry:

[adam&chryss]

I completely understand your situation Maria and I think its good that you helped your mum.
In a normal situation I cant say I understand how someone can expect a person to go to work for up to 60hrs per week and have little or no time to themselves and then send THEM money for holidays or something. A phone or nice shoes blah blah blah.
For me having a young child and step-son they are my priority as they cant earn a wage so I need to provide for them.
I know my wifes family and they wouldnt want to take food from my childs mouth or clothes from their back just so they could have a holiday or such.
I know some families in Phil see having a white man in the family makes their eyes light up with £££, sorry I mean $$$$.
I know that from my first experience in Phil with a money grabber and her lying family. I still have debts from that time cos of their constant demands and lies.
I should have said "go get a job and work like I do then you can have what you want" but you get " its so difficult here blah blah blah"
What? difficult to get of ya backside and do an honest days work instead of getting someone else to do it for you?
Thats more like it.....

Adam

[joebloggs]

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family. :bigcry:

in one way i'm lucky my misses is not into collecting handbags,shoes etc (thank god :rolleyes:), she would rather send the money to her aunt and cousin, which i can understand, her aunt gave up her job to look after our daughter for many years, and because of her age and physical difficulties she would have problems finding a job, also we help her cousin, who is like a brother to my misses, we have nearly got him thru a nursing degree, why ? , he's got no one to help him, no parents and what family he has don't give a :censored:

those who don't 'have' to give are lucky, who who can afford and want to give are lucky, those who think it's their duty to help :xxgrinning--00xx3:, for doing what you can :rolleyes:

of course you can be abused, but no one is living a life of luxury on what we send :NoNo:, and if it was my aunt and cousin i would do the same, they are grateful for the help we give, and never ask for more, unless it is a real emergency :xxgrinning--00xx3:

and respect to your hubby , I've moaned at my misses a few times :NoNo: but i know she is right :doh

[maria_and_matt]

I completely understand your situation Maria and I think its good that you helped your mum.
In a normal situation I cant say I understand how someone can expect a person to go to work for up to 60hrs per week and have little or no time to themselves and then send THEM money for holidays or something. A phone or nice shoes blah blah blah.
For me having a young child and step-son they are my priority as they cant earn a wage so I need to provide for them.
I know my wifes family and they wouldnt want to take food from my childs mouth or clothes from their back just so they could have a holiday or such.
I know some families in Phil see having a white man in the family makes their eyes light up with £££, sorry I mean $$$$.
I know that from my first experience in Phil with a money grabber and her lying family. I still have debts from that time cos of their constant demands and lies.
I should have said "go get a job and work like I do then you can have what you want" but you get " its so difficult here blah blah blah"
What? difficult to get of ya backside and do an honest days work instead of getting someone else to do it for you?
Thats more like it.....

Adam

i salute men like you who loves step children as your own. i see how you are with yujin and i see how phil is with my son.
my mum didnt use to rely on me as much as she does now. we just want to give her as much as we can on what time she has left.

[maria_and_matt]

in one way i'm lucky my misses is not into collecting handbags,shoes etc (thank god :rolleyes:), she would rather send the money to her aunt and cousin, which i can understand, her aunt gave up her job to look after our daughter for many years, and because of her age and physical difficulties she would have problems finding a job, also we help her cousin, who is like a brother to my misses, we have nearly got him thru a nursing degree, why ? , he's got no one to help him, no parents and what family he has don't give a :censored:

those who don't 'have' to give are lucky, who who can afford and want to give are lucky, those who think it's their duty to help :xxgrinning--00xx3:, for doing what you can :rolleyes:

of course you can be abused, but no one is living a life of luxury on what we send :NoNo:, and if it was my aunt and cousin i would do the same, they are grateful for the help we give, and never ask for more, unless it is a real emergency :xxgrinning--00xx3:

and respect to your hubby , I've moaned at my misses a few times :NoNo: but i know she is right :doh

i have great respect for men like you who understands, talking to my pinay friends most husbands would help but not all the time.
sometimes i think that my husbands blessings also comes from the fact that he gives without hesitation. i can remember when my dad was fighting cancer if my husband didnt help he would have died earlier :-(.
i cannot understand why my husband does all this things for me, sometimes i can be a bit mean to him :-(. i know in my heart that he loves me without reservations but 80%of the time i am a bitch to him:bigcry::bigcry:

[lizaphil]

yes, its me who gets annoyed, sometimes i think that instead of getting that handbag, or buying yet another pair of boots i could have sent that money for my mums meds. i am just so lucky that my husband understands and loves me and my family. for the 10 years that we have been together i have not heard him moan about him helping me and my family. :bigcry:

wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want...:xxgrinning--00xx3: right? :D

[lizaphil]

My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...:doh I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it... :Erm::bigcry:

oh dear cathy,its hard if you dont got work here...if you wanted something
and your hubbys dont got much money...and all the family asking you for some help.that is the trouble.because they all expect you are here in uk you are rich
they doesnt realized how hard life here..everythings expensive...but if you got work and you work fulltime..[you know what i mean]so you got your own money no need to ask your hubby if you can used your own money.because you know you can help your family anytime if you want too. yes?so good luck ...:Hellooo::Hellooo:the best i can advise you tell theme your not working yet,
so you can give theme...tell your family your husband not rich...:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[maria_and_matt]

wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want...:xxgrinning--00xx3: right? :D


yeah i'm lucky :), and yes you work so if you choose to send some money back home its up to you. you go girl:BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy:

[lizaphil]

yeah i'm lucky :), and yes you work so if you choose to send some money back home its up to you. you go girl:BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy:

yea why not...its my own money so my hubby cant tell me what to do diba?:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[maria_and_matt]

yea why not...its my own money so my hubby cant tell me what to do diba?:icon_lol::icon_lol:

no he cant:icon_lol::icon_lol: i wish hubby will let me work too!

[pennybarry]

It's better to send food or other gifts rather than money. My friend had a bit of (my) money left over at the end of the day, which he gave to his granddaughter for texting, rather than to his daughter who was looking after the granddaughter's baby and had no money for milk.
I soon realised my friend and his family were happy to take as much money from me as I was prepared to give, and would not stop until I was as poor as they were. The worse part about it is that they thought it was for my own good, because this culture is greedy and selfish and should learn to share.
Our culture is close family ties and helping each other. Being greedy and selfish is not the one. I agree there's family who are parasites and greedy and sorry if you might found one. I am trying to consider why they became parasites sometimes. Maybe if there's factories close to them, they will work and not ask, or if there's public college where they live, they will study. But many people were born poor and hard to move on because of lack of money.
Unlike in Britain, the government can afford to give benefits to parasites.
Although we pay taxes in the Philippines, (VAT,withholding tax, business tax, real property tax, income tax, inheritance tax) it is too hard for our government to share the tax money to people.


My sister just sent me a mail yesterday saying if i could buy her an original coach bag...:doh I wonder how much does it cost and whether i will have money to buy it... :Erm::bigcry:

When I had my holiday in Pinas I have noticed my niece Louis Vuitton bag:omg: as I cannot afford to buy it, and talked her privately why she afford to have it. She said it was my sister who bought it for her and my sis said, she did her job well done and she deserve it.:NoNo: I just think maybe a mother will always do that if can afford.




wow lucky you maria,to have husband like that
my hubby he moan if he knows i send to my family some money...he
dont want me to help theme,,,,but he cant stop me because i never ask my
hubbys money its my money,i work so hard with my money.so i dont care what he say,,,,i am just lucky because i am working here ...and not asking any penny to my husband...so i do what i want...:xxgrinning--00xx3: right? :D

Good girl you are! If your husband gave you financial freedom, then you have the right, but then save for yourself and sometimes check your husband wallet. If you think he is running out of allowance, put some £20-50 inside. If he asked why his money multiplied, tell him you love him really and money is meant to be shared to loves ones. Then give him a hug :xxgrinning--00xx3::D

[pennybarry]

We have an old saying in this country which is "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" and I personally would find it offensive and insulting if I ever heard or was given the expression that that they thought "it's not enough"

We do have also Ian. Ours is "Huwag mo silang bigyan ng isda, turuan mo silang mangisda" Don't give them fish, teach them how to catch fish" So it will be alright for us if we buy fish net for them if they like to catch fish. :D

But there's always exemption. Elderlies for me is exempted as not all elderlies are pensioners in our country and it is hard for them to catch fish anymore. My Nanay is 82 and still she can plant veggies, have chickens to sell and she still earns. But still we all send her money/gifts because we always think, we can stop her planting if we send, but no she will not going to stop.:NoNo:

[Ping]

One thing I can say is mostly Filipinas/nos likes to buy a designer things.Even if they are not rich they want to show off to their friends and think that it can change their status symbol in the society, in owning a n expensive stuff.

[Ping]

In America the coach brand is very expensive. When I was there I try to visit the designer outlet opposite to the hotel where I stayed. There was a sale on the coach shop loads of people inside, I went in then the checked the prices , I cant, believed that even a small coin purse is one hundred dollar and that was sale.The smallest handbag and not very nice design is five hundred. So can't be bother.

I don't own a bag cause I don't like to carry one.

[vbkelly]

In America the coach brand is very expensive. When I was there I try to visit the designer outlet opposite to the hotel where I stayed. There was a sale on the coach shop loads of people inside, I went in then the checked the prices , I cant, believed that even a small coin purse is one hundred dollar and that was sale.The smallest handbag and not very nice design is five hundred. So can't be bother.

I don't own a bag cause I don't like to carry one.

aw so expensive ate ping even next bag i can't affort it hehehe so mahal

[South-east boy]

Good girl you are! If your husband gave you financial freedom, then you have the right, but then save for yourself and sometimes check your husband wallet. If you think he is running out of allowance, put some £20-50 inside. If he asked why his money multiplied, tell him you love him really and money is meant to be shared to loves ones. Then give him a hug :xxgrinning--00xx3::D

That would be really sweet. If I had a partner do that for me I would be so happy-not because of the extra money but that it has shown that they have thought about me and us. I guess also because I've very rarely had a partner that's done anything that has shown that they have thought about me much.

[South-east boy]

We do have also Ian. Ours is "Huwag mo silang bigyan ng isda, turuan mo silang mangisda" Don't give them fish, teach them how to catch fish" So it will be alright for us if we buy fish net for them if they like to catch fish. :D

But there's always exemption. Elderlies for me is exempted as not all elderlies are pensioners in our country and it is hard for them to catch fish anymore. My Nanay is 82 and still she can plant veggies, have chickens to sell and she still earns. But still we all send her money/gifts because we always think, we can stop her planting if we send, but no she will not going to stop.:NoNo:

Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?! :rolleyes:

[fred]

We do have also Ian. Ours is "Huwag mo silang bigyan ng isda, turuan mo silang mangisda" Don't give them fish, teach them how to catch fish" So it will be alright for us if we buy fish net for them if they like to catch fish. :D

No..Because then you would have to buy them a fishing boat to go with the net plus 6 weeks worth of diesel and 25 Styrofoam boxes to put all the fish in (plus ice)..Then they will request you hire a local captain as he will know where best to fish plus some fishermen that will teach them to catch fish..Then you will have to endure the maintenance cost due to the dodgy surplus engine..
Cheaper to buy the buggers fish IMO.

[joebloggs]

Cheaper to buy the buggers fish IMO.

:icon_lol: but true :doh

[maria_and_matt]

Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?! :rolleyes:

nope they dont! my husbands uncle who is 84, still goes around on his bike! i told him to call me if he needed a lift to town or the supermarket (he gave up driving a year ago when he had an accident), he still insists that he is ok and can manage. 2 weeks ago he fell and now the swelling, pain he has to put up with. i told him it is not wrong to ask for help, he is sooooo stubborn. :Brick::Brick:

[pennybarry]

I don't own a bag cause I don't like to carry one.

:Rasp:
This generation, people are very concious and curious about fashion bags and shoes.
If the zipper of that bag is gold, then I will try to save and buy one.
I have bags but hate to carry bags, umbrella and handkerchief. I am much comfortable with plastic bags, run if raining and tissue paper for runny nose. How's that ate ping? ehehehehhe My husband is only the one who wants me to carry bag!:cwm23:


That would be really sweet. If I had a partner do that for me I would be so happy-not because of the extra money but that it has shown that they have thought about me and us. I guess also because I've very rarely had a partner that's done anything that has shown that they have thought about me much.

Well, that is one way of showing your love to your husband, love is sharing and giving rather than moaning about money and showing your tightness to each other. I always tell my husband, if we die, we cannot bring money in heaven, so let's not be tight to each other.


Yes, as we know a lot of eldelies are quite stubborn & set in their ways and as much as we try to stop them doing certain things for their good, will they listen?! :rolleyes:
One time, my brother went home from abroad and he told my Nanay that he is going to kill all her veggie plants because she is stubborn. But my Nanay said, kill me first before you kill my plants. And if you are going to ask the money you sent, it is in the bank. :Erm::NoNo::D


No..Because then you would have to buy them a fishing boat to go with the net plus 6 weeks worth of diesel and 25 Styrofoam boxes to put all the fish in (plus ice)..Then they will request you hire a local captain as he will know where best to fish plus some fishermen that will teach them to catch fish..Then you will have to endure the maintenance cost due to the dodgy surplus engine..
Cheaper to buy the buggers fish IMO.

I understand you Fred that sometimes they have no satisfaction.
But sometimes, you'll also see some relatives that trying their best onced you have given them a break. Come on! give them a break!:Rasp::Rasp::Rasp:

[filipina_owl]

Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.

My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant. :Erm: I dont want to send money to philippines for now because i dont have a job at the moment. Like lizaphil said, its better if i have a job but thats impossible at the moment. I dont think thats being selfish and greedy. Can anyone understand my point????:angry:

[triple5]

Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.

That's probably why they expect gifts now. That's the problem with these situations - once you start it's to be expected all the time. I understand your points, as does everybody else whose replied here. You just got to tell them straight.

[IainBusby]

Elderlies for me is exempted as not all elderlies are pensioners in our country and it is hard for them to catch fish anymore

I exclude elderlies from all of my comments and my wife and I do send money to support her parents but unfortunately, I get the impression that they're always broke because a lot of the money we send so that they can have a more comfortable life is given away to the extended family who assume they have lots of money because they have a daughter living in the UK.


Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.

My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant. :Erm: I dont want to send money to philippines for now because i dont have a job at the moment. Like lizaphil said, its better if i have a job but thats impossible at the moment. I dont think thats being selfish and greedy. Can anyone understand my point????:angry:


That's probably why they expect gifts now. That's the problem with these situations - once you start it's to be expected all the time. I understand your points, as does everybody else whose replied here. You just got to tell them straight.

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

I certainly can understand your point, the trouble is because in the past it seems to have been a simple matter of they ask, he gives and now when you say no you won't give them what they ask for they say your being mean. As I said in an earlier post on this subject, I find that very insulting.

[pennybarry]

Well this is issue is really not so big deal for my husband, in fact he's been helping my family. He gave my uncle 30k pesos to help him with some important matters to deal with. He lend my aunt 35k pesos and he is not expecting that she will pay him back. He lend my sister 20k pesos before we left for UK in november and same thing, he doesnt expect her to pay the money back. He bought my brother the latest psp model, he always treats my family to a posh restaurant whenever he's in the philippines, he gave money to my granny because he knows i love her so much.

My point is, my husband has done so many things for my family. So now that im in uk, i dont want to bother him about sending money to philippines because i think its too much. And he is providing me all the things i need especially now that im pregnant. :Erm: I dont want to send money to philippines for now because i dont have a job at the moment. Like lizaphil said, its better if i have a job but thats impossible at the moment. I dont think thats being selfish and greedy. Can anyone understand my point????:angry:

Please cool down! I don't know how close you are with Liza why she did tell that. If she knows you are preggy, and she knew you did more than enough with your family, I am sure she will not give such advise.
We do understand you and we respect your views and opinions. If we ask some advises, we are ready for some negative replies and what you did is fine.

I exclude elderlies from all of my comments and my wife and I do send money to support her parents but unfortunately, I get the impression that they're always broke because a lot of the money we send so that they can have a more comfortable life is given away to the extended family who assume they have lots of money because they have a daughter living in the UK.


:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

I certainly can understand your point, the trouble is because in the past it seems to have been a simple matter of they ask, he gives and now when you say no you won't give them what they ask for they say your being mean. As I said in an earlier post on this subject, I find that very insulting.

It's lovely to hear that you support her ederly parents and I've got your point. I have known some friends that keeps sending money to their mother and the mother gives the money to other lazy children. One time, I had time to speak with my friend mother and tell her exactly how hard the job of her daughter abroad. What her daughter want is to enjoy the money for herself and let other children strive hard. It upsets me because, no hope to change for good.

There are really different stories here. If I sent money to my deaf sister, my Nanay is jealous. She said she has husband to strive for her. If I send all money to her, she deposit in the bank and give some to my sister. That is the rules of my Nanay so I always follow what she wants to make her happy.
She said, she gave already her 6 berdoom house to my youngest sis and youngest brother and she moved to my house. I looked after her for years and she love to stay with me as at the back of my house is where her farm is. So she has good access to her farm as I broke the concrete fence.:D She said her house is supposed to be mine as I was the last one who got married. So my Nanay advised me to strive for myself which I have already done before, worked 16 hrs/ day in Taiwan, bought my own properties and just helping them if they have good achievements done.

My Nanay never heard me complaining nor ask where are my parts in her property which truly in my heart, it is not a problem as I believe, if you give, you will never be poor and more blessings to come in your way. :BouncyHappy:

[filipina_owl]

Well lizaphil is my friend and what she said was fine. She understands my situation like all of you and i hope my family in the philippines will do the same. Although they're not pushing me about it but still i feel as if im being pressured and that they might think im too tight...:doh:NoNo:

[adam&chryss]

Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.

But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.

Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.

I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.

Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.

Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.

That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive :D

[IainBusby]

Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.

But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.

Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.

I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.

Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.

Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.

That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive :D

That's the problem, when we applied for my step-daughters visa all of my bank/savings statements and my salary slips were returned to my wife's parents address and as they had to open the package to get my step-daughters passport and check for the visa, I'm sure they know as much about my finances now as I do myself. When converted to pesos, I'm sure they think I am an extremely wealthy man, which of course in UK terms I am not and this probably leads them to think I am extremely kuripot.

[sars_notd_virus]

Cash send to Ph if emergencies....prezzies when u come to ph on holidays
and dont worry to much ..its not good for ur little one inside ur tummy!!!!

[filipina_owl]

@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight. :D

@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in the :erotic4: hehehe. :icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

Back in PI. I was the one who pay most of our bills like telephone, electric, internet and cable bills. Then I used to give my mum some money to add with our groceries/food. I have 6 nephews and 2 nieces which I love so dearly. Every Christmas I buy them shoes and clothes, but not this last xmas :( When it comes with my family I'm very generous.

But now I'm in UK I can't contribute anything. They had to cut the cable and internet. They were also thinking to cut the telephone but my mum wants to keep it so they did.

Lucky me they understand my situation and they don't ask anything from me. Whatever we send them they are very thankful. And they will send us something in return.

I'm working part time now but still I can't send them money. They told me not to worry about them, what I should worry is how to save money for us to visit them coz they miss us so much and they want to see and meet my lil' Isaac.

Hopefully when Isaac is bit bigger and I can work fulltime I can send my mum some money just for herself and send more things (toys/clothes) for my nephews and nieces.

Better to let them understand what life we have here in UK. Moan them about how expensive bills and food here. Tell them that ur husband is earning £££ like this and spending bills like that.

That's what I did, they thought my husband's wages is too much bec. they convert it to peso but when I told them about our bills and how expensive meat and chicken here, they understand that it is just like in Philippines. I even told them I can't buy tilapia coz it's very expensive :D

You're such a nice daughter and wonderful aunt Adam&Chryss.:xxgrinning--00xx3:
More blessings to come on your way!
I also told my Mom, I bought 2 ampalaya for £7, more than a pound for kankong. She was shocked and told me to plant ampalaya and kangkong here and sell to market.:omg: I tried to plant but ampalaya only gives me flowers and leaves and no fruits.:furious3: but still leaves can mix with ginisang monggo.


@adam&chryss, we are exacly the same, i've been helping and giving money to my brother, sister, mother, father, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles and my beloved granny when i was in the philippines. I have had a good job there and well paid so i dont mind helping them because i love them and they're my family. But now that im in uk, things are different. But im sure and i hope that soon they will understand. Although i still think that most of my family think im too tight. :D

@sars_notd_virus, thanks so much for the concern. Yes better not to think about it too much or my baby will kick me in the :erotic4: hehehe. :icon_lol:

I am sure you have proven them that you are not kuripot and sooner or later they will understand the real life in the UK. You have also proven to them that you are not madamot. Just be patient and soon they will understand.

You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano. :D

[Doc Alan]

You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano. :D

I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised. Then an ambitious young lawyer from Ilocos who used his wartime "adventures" to enter the political arena ...Ferdinand Marcos. But to hear from your own relatives about the past as they remember it should not be missed. What they tell you depends on your love and respect for them.... listen before it's too late!

[Arthur Little]

You are so lucky that you still have granny. My granny died at 84 in 1982. I used to stay beside her and hear her old stories about panahon ng japon, ng kastila at ng amerikano. :D


I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised. Then an ambitious young lawyer from Ilocos who used his wartime "adventures" to enter the political arena ...Ferdinand Marcos. But to hear from your own relatives about the past as they remember it should not be missed. What they tell you depends on your love and respect for them.... listen before it's too late!

I know I've a habit of digressing from the main theme ... and I realise that what I'm about to emphasise is, perhaps, slightly :icon_offtopic: ... but, Penny's and Alan's posts both highlight the importance of connecting with earlier generations. I was fortunate in having my maternal grandparents right up until the 1970s [when each of my own two children was already born] and even now, looking back, I am thankful for how much I learnt from them. My *grandpa (as I called him) attained the great age of ninety-seven ... and was able to recall the late Victorian era - before motor vehicles, aeroplanes and radio (let alone television) were ever heard of - yet invariably maintained "the auld [old] days were the best, ye ken [know] Arthur!"

My mother's sister (daughter of the *above) is still surprisingly active at 91 ... and remains very much alert for someone of her advanced years; indeed, her in-depth knowledge of current affairs, frequently puts ME to shame! :cwm24: Sadly, :bigcry: she is the last-surviving member of both sides of my family. So, as Alan implies, LISTEN carefully to the "golden oldies" before it's too late; they have much to teach us!!!

[joebloggs]

I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised.

and how the japs bayoneted to death innocent people :NoNo:

http://ww2history.suite101.com/article.cfm/japans_atrocities_against_filipino_civilians

my mom used to tell me stories of when the nazis invaded liuthuania when she was a teenager :NoNo:

[Arthur Little]

and how the japs bayoneted to death innocent people :NoNo:

http://ww2history.suite101.com/article.cfm/japans_atrocities_against_filipino_civilians

my mom used to tell me stories of when the nazis invaded liuthuania when she was a teenager :NoNo:

Lithuania? :Erm: ... Does/did your mum (or dad) have a North-eastern European heritage, Joe? Just curious, because I remember your telling us once, that you'd an unusual *surname [I don't mean 'Bloggs'!] :NoNo: ... one you said we'd never guess! :icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

I really think this is so important, you never know how long you will have your loved ones. Panahon is "era"/"time" and Kastila is "Spanish" so you're talking about the time of the Japanese occupation, Spanish and American rule. Only yesterday I was watching archive film about World War II and General Douglas MacArthur's return, as he had promised. Then an ambitious young lawyer from Ilocos who used his wartime "adventures" to enter the political arena ...Ferdinand Marcos. But to hear from your own relatives about the past as they remember it should not be missed. What they tell you depends on your love and respect for them.... listen before it's too late!


I know I've a habit of digressing from the main theme ... and I realise that what I'm about to emphasise is, perhaps, slightly :icon_offtopic: ... but, Penny's and Alan's posts both highlight the importance of connecting with earlier generations. I was fortunate in having my maternal grandparents right up until the 1970s [when each of my own two children was already born] and even now, looking back, I am thankful for how much I learnt from them. My *grandpa (as I called him) attained the great age of ninety-seven ... and was able to recall the late Victorian era - before motor vehicles, aeroplanes and radio (let alone television) were ever heard of - yet invariably maintained "the auld [old] days were the best, ye ken [know] Arthur!"

My mother's sister (daughter of the *above) is still surprisingly active at 91 ... and remains very much alert for someone of her advanced years; indeed, her in-depth knowledge of current affairs, frequently puts ME to shame! :cwm24: Sadly, :bigcry: she is the last-surviving member of both sides of my family. So, as Alan implies, LISTEN carefully to the "golden oldies" before it's too late; they have much to teach us!!!

you're both right! I love to hear old stories from them and asked them how they were survived during that era. They survived because they always hide themselves under the ground. :doh Sometimes, I am thinking if my LOla(granny) still alive, how old is she now. she must be 112 by now.:) I remember her advise eversince we were a child. She said do not be selfish, because if you die, uwak (black birds) will eat you! We were so scared with black birds although we haven't seen any. When I arrived here, I have noticed loads of black birds and remember my Lola's saying.:omg:

[lizaphil]

aw so expensive ate ping even next bag i can't affort it hehehe so mahal

try primark you can buy just a 1 pound handbag :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

Lithuania? :Erm: ... Does/did your mum (or dad) have a North-eastern European heritage, Joe? Just curious, because I remember your telling us once, that you'd an unusual *surname [I don't mean 'Bloggs'!] :NoNo: ... one you said we'd never guess! :icon_lol:

both my parents are from Lithuania they came here just as WW2 finished, they lived under Nazi rule, but escaped from Lithuania when the Russians invaded.

my mother remembers being at school and seeing German planes flying past, the start of the invasion, the Nazis came to her school, burnt all the Lithuanian books and replaced them with German books :NoNo:, that's why my mom speaks perfect German.

my father joined the Russian army to fight the Nazis, when the Russians invaded, my mom who was 13, her younger sister, baby brother and her mom left on the last train before the Russians invaded where they were, her uncle was killed by Russian fighter planes who were shooting at people trying to flee the country :NoNo:.

my mom told us of many things that she seen and had happened to her, kids to day have no idea what some went thru..