working and being a wife [Archive]

mhaedonald

7th May 2010, 02:56

hi:Hellooo:My Asawa don't want me to work,but im the one insisted that while he is in uk i will work coz i feel bored at home..i feel like im disabled..Not used to just at home and just waiting for him to come home,cook,infront of tv and computer...I want to achieve something and thank god he said he will let me work,but i have to stop if his boss schedule him in other country coz i need to come with him...Like right now he is working in singapore for 2 months..then we are here in singapore then go back to uk by middle of june and i hope i can find a not permanent job as he is always out of the country and i dont want to be left alone...My body feel weak when im not working and always stress,eventhough he is giving me all i need and everythign i want i still want to buy on my own money and buy him a gift from my own salary....

triple5

7th May 2010, 03:42

If any of you are getting bored at home, pls feel free to come round to mine. I can find you plenty to do :D

:ironing::hoovering::laundry::78718:

malditako

7th May 2010, 04:52

filifino are use to be like that not all but traditionally...this days its rarely:yikes::yikes::D in a way you were one of the lucky ..your husband trusted you that much which is should be:D:D:yikes::xxgrinning--00xx3: well you know what i mean....what part are you in uk ??

be in derbyshire...monday :)

RickyR

7th May 2010, 06:11

I support my fiance of many years, and once we eventually.... get married will continue to. We agreed from the start that i'd prefer for her not to work, and rather be a at home to support our family properly, and with one more child expected in September it wouldn't be sensible for her to work.
I suggested that if she was bored, she could do some volounteer or charity work.

pennybarry

7th May 2010, 09:50

Good question Ross! :xxgrinning--00xx3: If I have baby, I will not work because I don't wanna feel dizzy and headache at work. I hate puyat and love to sleep.
I never go to work if I'm puyat.
I will just stay home and look after them.
If I need money to pay bills, I'll let hubby to make money for the meantime 'til kids turned 7.

You're right, it's not a good feeling to ask money from husband.
But when hubby given me financial freedom, that made me feel great as I want to manage my own money and he pays all the bills. That is more relaxing for me than giving me his wages and manage bills.
If no job, the government and hubby gives allowance and spend my time studying.

chiechie74

7th May 2010, 10:32

i've been here for four years now and m still a housewife, husband didnt want me to work coz i have a young son...got part time b4 working at my home (babysitting twice or once a week for 3 yrs, but its ended now coz the wee boy i've been looking for is now in nursery school)...my hubby wanting me just to look for a part time job in my local area...just to do something to make me busy and not stuck in the house all the time while my hubby and son are not around...

Ann07

7th May 2010, 10:46

Now that we have 2 kids...after my second maternity leave i was about to turn up to work but my husband was begging me not to come back:doh Afterall i wont be getting much :) I get more in staying at home :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

DavidArt

7th May 2010, 11:02

i work and i love working evrsince even when i was in phil, i want my day always busy hehehehehe! its nice that you earn money on your own as well, but if your husband dont want you to work and he can support you thats better! why not , !

joebloggs

7th May 2010, 13:29

sars_notd_virus

7th May 2010, 14:11

Hello Ross!!

What is an advantage for one type is disadvantage for another. These are just the two sides of a coin. You cannot have the whole world.

malditako

7th May 2010, 16:08

you filipinas do what your husband says :yikes:

my misses has never listened to me :cwm24:

i thought marriage was btw partners, next your'e all be wearing burkas :NoNo:

maybe your husband is worried you'll be earning more money than him :rolleyes:

i think i need to send my misses to visit you all, and teach you to stand up for yourslef. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

on my part it's my personal choice...i love being a stay home mum and wife and not b'coz hubby wants me to. Hubby is always supportive in everything i wanted to do and so I am to him :)

Ann07

7th May 2010, 16:21

you filipinas do what your husband says :yikes:

my misses has never listened to me :cwm24:

i thought marriage was btw partners, next your'e all be wearing burkas :NoNo:

maybe your husband is worried you'll be earning more money than him :rolleyes:

i think i need to send my misses to visit you all, and teach you to stand up for yourslef. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Hi Joe

Ha ha ha you made me laugh....:icon_lol:
Your missus is so lucky to have finished what she wanted to become here. Hopefully me too while im looking after the boys and stay at home mum:Rasp::)

Arthur Little

7th May 2010, 16:29

seems my husband doesn't want me to work either once in the UK...well i find a stay home mum and a wife a very fulfilling job..as of asking money...well no need i got his cash point and manage our money lol :icon_lol:

:iagree: WHOLEHEARTEDLY with YOUR philosophy! In fact, it has always been my belief that - where there are young children in a household - the mother's place OUGHT be at home with her kids ... until the youngsters have reached school-age at least!

Ann07

7th May 2010, 16:35

Arthur Little

7th May 2010, 17:25

Hi Arthur how are you?

Agree with that:)

Hi, Ann ... lovely to hear from you. I'm very well, :68711_thanx: And YOU ...? YOUR two little boys won't be so wee now!! :NoNo:

I've just finished posting a new thread to happily announce my delight at Myrna & I becoming great-aunt and uncle to my brother, Douglas's first grandchild - ANOTHER wee boy, funnily enough! It seems he weighs more than nine pounds ... so, clearly, HE'S not altogether small either! :icon_lol:

Best regards, my friend. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Ann07

7th May 2010, 18:18

Hi, Ann ... lovely to hear from you. I'm very well, :68711_thanx: And YOU ...? YOUR two little boys won't be so wee now!! :NoNo:

I've just finished posting a new thread to happily announce my delight at Myrna & I becoming great-aunt and uncle to my brother, Douglas's first grandchild - ANOTHER wee boy, funnily enough! It seems he weighs more than nine pounds ... so, clearly, HE'S not altogether small either! :icon_lol:

Best regards, my friend. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Im good...thanks Arthur:) Aye, they are big now hehehehe... still wee's for me though lol

Wow, Congrats big baby. My boys weighs more than 9 pounds too when they where born:)

Take care you both:)

South-east boy

7th May 2010, 18:38

:iagree: WHOLEHEARTEDLY with YOUR philosophy! In fact, it has always been my belief that - where there are young children in a household - the mother's place OUGHT be at home with her kids ... until the youngsters have reached school-age at least!

I agree with this too, buy sadly that isn't always possible nowadays with the increasing costs of things, especially property/mortgages compared to several years ago as they have since increased at a far greater rate than peoples wages. My parents first house was a 3-bed semi and my dad supported my mum. No way could most people do that now as you'd need to earn a very good wage, which in these current times isn't so easy! I'm now on my 2nd year with no salary increase after a paltry £600 the year before!

Ross

7th May 2010, 21:57

thanks for comments, advice and etc :D it just am feeling:Erm::D:icon_lol::crazy: at the moment well we all know what i mean:doh:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

cheers everyone:xxgrinning--00xx3::D

joebloggs

7th May 2010, 23:17

:iagree: WHOLEHEARTEDLY with YOUR philosophy! In fact, it has always been my belief that - where there are young children in a household - the mother's place OUGHT be at home with her kids ... until the youngsters have reached school-age at least!

what about the father Arthur, where's his place ? work and the pub :icon_lol:
Arthur times change, as South-east boy has said, for many families both have to work, and that means she has to work and juggle being a mother.

once they reach 4, and go to school. what does a house wife do all day ?

if your wife wants to work, what right do you have to tell her she can't :crazy:

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 01:11

what about the father Arthur, where's his place ? work and the pub :icon_lol:
Arthur times change, as South-east boy has said, for many families both have to work, and that means she has to work and juggle being a mother.

A father's place? Work, yes ... :iagree:; the pub, no! :NoNo: Indeed, if some men spent less time in the latter ... and more time with their kids ... there'd be a greater amount of disposable household income to be derived [in terms of wages] from the former to support their wives and families AND cover many of the basic essentials!!!

But then, that's purely my PERSONAL opinion :anerikke: - and I daresay there are lots of folk who would disagree with me.

triple5

8th May 2010, 01:31

I totally agree with Arthur, as I have on other threads over the same subject. It's the way it's been for thousands of years - the man works (or hunts), the woman raises the kids and looks after the household. It's only more recently this has changed, and I honestly believe it's no coincedence that this has coincided with many of the problems we see in society today :crazy:

http://www.factsforlifeglobal.org/03/

And if you say the womans place is at home and you get called a chauvinist :doh

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 01:38

once they reach 4, and go to school. what does a house wife do all day ?

Well :rolleyes: ... if you read again, the second sentence of the first post I submitted on this topic - around 8 hours ago, now - you'll see I've compromised :) by emphasising ... I quote: "... UNTIL THEY'VE REACHED SCHOOL-AGE, AT LEAST!".

And I continue to stand by that particular statement! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 02:01

I totally agree with Arthur, as I have on other threads over the same subject. It's the way it's been for thousands of years - the man works (or hunts), the woman raises the kids and looks after the household.
http://www.factsforlifeglobal.org/03/

Exactly! :68711_thanx: for providing the link, Paul ... and especially for your much-needed support with this "thorny" debate. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 02:22

It's only more recently this has changed, and I honestly believe it's no coincedence that this has coincided with many of the problems we see in society today :crazy:

:gp: ... precisely the one I've been trying my damndest to stress :Brick: each and every time the subject crops up - here and elsewhere - only to discover (all too frequently) others' strong opposition reverberating on me vociferously, like the proverbial :Bricks:

joebloggs

8th May 2010, 03:30

. It's only more recently this has changed, and I honestly believe it's no coincedence that this has coincided with many of the problems we see in society today :crazy:

And if you say the womans place is at home and you get called a chauvinist :doh

and what are these problems we see in society today ?

no my misses wouldn't call you a chauvinist, she call you a :censored:

:D

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 04:02

if your wife wants to work, what right do you have to tell her she can't :crazy:

None whatsoever, admittedly. :NoNo: IF she were really keen to go out to work, I'd be the last person to object to her wishes. But perhaps I'm lucky ... in that, MY missus - who has no dependent children - is perfectly content with being a plain housewife!

Having said that, Joe ... my wife - like yours - is a professional lady. Yet, she is unable to find a job in line with her field of expertise without re-training. :rolleyes: Conversely, she has already found she's considered too highly-qualified for working in say, a residential establishment for the care of the elderly. And besides, in my opinion, the physically strenuous nature of the duties involved in such an environment are better-suited to a younger person, than undertaken by someone who is aged fifty-one!

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 04:34

My parents first house was a 3-bed semi and my dad supported my mum. No way could most people do that now as you'd need to earn a very good wage, which in these current times isn't so easy! I'm now on my 2nd year with no salary increase after a paltry £600 the year before!

I disagree! Wages have - for the most part - generally been proportionate to the cost of living. As my age indicates, I am a State Pensioner ... but I'm also in the fortunate position of being in receipt of a modest occupational pension.

However, this year, the current economic recession has meant I've had to forego my customary annual index-linked increase in the latter. :doh Yet Myrna and I still manage to get by well enough financially ... possibly because we don't incur the added expense involved in the upkeep of a car! :rolleyes:

triple5

8th May 2010, 04:47

and what are these problems we see in society today ?

Seriously? Don't you read the newspapers? Anti social behaviour is a massive problem in the UK, is it not? And the cause of it, I reckon, is down to kids not being taught the right morals and discipline when they're younger :xxaction-smiley-047

Consumerism has a lot to answer for as well. Everybody wants a car each, the big plasma TV, regular holidays etc. keeping up with the Joneses is expensive. You'll always here, "well we both can't afford not to work" But I wonder how many mums actually could stay at home if they cut back a bit on all the luxuries :Erm:

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 04:51

and what are these problems we see in society today ?

Oh come on, Joe ... :poke: it's patently obvious - even to a "blind man"! :icon_eek: 'Latch-key kids' running wild ... getting into all sorts of bother as a result of indulgence in anti-social behaviour. :1056158225: WHY? Because there's no-one at home to exercise proper parental responsibility and control :xxsmilie_auslachen: - nor [seemingly] care what they get up to!! :NoNo:

Arthur Little

8th May 2010, 05:40

pennybarry

8th May 2010, 07:11

That's what exactly my husband told me Joe. I never listened to him but I do sometimes in our bedroom.:D

But hubby always earns double my earnings.:yikes:
but at least I save some.:D

triple5

8th May 2010, 07:12

And with the greatest respect, Paul (triple5) is currently in the Phils ... and can hardly fail to have noticed the difference between the high proportion of well-mannered youngsters to be found in a predominantly less affluent corner of the world - compared to [some] of the rich kids and/or spoilt brats to be found in our own materialistic country. :NoNo:

Spot on there Arthur :xxgrinning--00xx3: I was invited to a meal at an expat friend last week, Chris is a retired psychiatric nurse and school teacher. He reckons dealing with the mentally ill was a breeze compared to having to "try" and teach teenage kids in the UK.

We both agreed that, even though we're kind of outcasts here and a long way from "home", we've never felt the intimidation that can be felt walking through some UK city and town centres. Many British youths love nothing better than a good tear up. Youngsters here, generally, are not confrontational or aggressive.

pennybarry

8th May 2010, 07:23

I agree with you Arth, but sometimes husband works only part time let's say 20 hrs/ week so a wife really need to work and husband can look after the kids.

The cost of living here is high and child benefits is not that big. I will probably work although it's a disaster for me working for little amount and pay bills.

Or I should stay at home and let hubby to work for more.:xxaction-smiley-047:xxaction-smiley-047:xxaction-smiley-047

liane

8th May 2010, 10:42

My hubby will let me decide what I want. I would like to work but would also like to spend as much time as I can to care and guide my child/children someday.
Maybe I could work full time while we doesn't have a child yet and by the time we have I could slow down a bit and lessen my working hours so I could look after my family. Time management is what I need to learn.

ca143

8th May 2010, 12:05

im working most of my life b4,but when i arrive in UK i become a full time wife and mum but still earn money...im work from home as well....:D

maria_and_matt

8th May 2010, 12:23

isnt it too bored maria:D i mean u know what i mean lol:D we sometimes need self fullfillment..and dont want to ask money all our life to our husband:D:cwm3:

self fulfillment is not about earning your own money hahaha! i am self fulfilled looking after my son my husband our dog and doing charity work for hospitals and hospice around our area... and what is wrong with asking money from my husband hahaha, it is him who wants me to stay at home:laugher: besides i do not ask he gives:icon_lol:

maria_and_matt

8th May 2010, 12:27

Oh come on, Joe ... :poke: it's patently obvious - even to a "blind man"! :icon_eek: 'Latch-key kids' running wild ... getting into all sorts of bother as a result of indulgence in anti-social behaviour. :1056158225: WHY? Because there's no-one at home to exercise proper parental responsibility and control :xxsmilie_auslachen: - nor [seemingly] care what they get up to!! :NoNo:

very true, i truly believe that my son is what he is today because i am always here to support and listen! most of his friends parents are at work (fulltime) and those kids drink and get up to mischief... nowadays some parents just do not take the time to be with their children so sad really

malditako

8th May 2010, 14:14

Well :rolleyes: ... if you read again, the second sentence of the first post I submitted on this topic - around 8 hours ago, now - you'll see I've compromised :) by emphasising ... I quote: "... UNTIL THEY'VE REACHED SCHOOL-AGE, AT LEAST!".

And I continue to stand by that particular statement! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

i totally agree with sir arthur...base on my experience being a fulltime mum and wife is a bit harder than being employed. it's a 24 hours duty 7 days a week as household chores never ends... and i think husband should give their wife a credit to that...and once the children start go to school its about time the wife give some time for themselves....shopping alone...go to salon or a sneak date with hubby :)

South-east boy

8th May 2010, 14:14

I disagree! Wages have - for the most part - generally been proportionate to the cost of living. As my age indicates, I am a State Pensioner ... but I'm also in the fortunate position of being in receipt of a modest occupational pension.

However, this year, the current economic recession has meant I've had to forego my customary annual index-linked increase in the latter. :doh Yet Myrna and I still manage to get by well enough financially ... possibly because we don't incur the added expense involved in the upkeep of a car! :rolleyes:

Maybe property is cheaper where you are or you had good wage increases, but there are not many 25 year olds now that could buy a 3 bed semi valued at £220k as their first house and be able to support their house-wife as well. Most first time buyers are now in their mid 30's and even then they can't buy a 3 bed semi as their first house on a single income. You'd need to earn around at least £65k+ and sadly I earn nowhere near that! In 2003-2005, during certain periods, I saw the type of property I was looking for increase in selling price in just a couple of months by what I earnt in a whole year!

Arthur Little

9th May 2010, 09:39

:68711_thanx:, Paul ... for adding to my reputation ... very much appreciated! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

scottishbride

9th May 2010, 10:44

how many here that thre husband allow thre wife to get work even with 3 litle children:D and how many are the husband dont allow the wife:yikes::D could understand we settle to uk and not as OWF or overseas Filifino working . am just curious :D
Hello me, I work part- time and hubby doesn't mind.

gWaPito

14th May 2010, 18:05

We don't have children yet, when we do then Jane will not work, I agree with arthur whole heartedly.

My wife is free to what she wants to do, I don't question her. She wants to work so she works, it is fulll time and it's where I work so happy families all round. She is not a philipine over sea's worker, she works for her family ie; the 2 of us just like any other western marriage so, good for her.:Wave:

Arthur Little

14th May 2010, 18:14

We don't have children yet, when we do then Jane will not work, I agree with arthur whole heartedly ...

... :68711_thanx: for your support, mate! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

gWaPito

14th May 2010, 18:23

good to see you are still on here;)

RickyR

14th May 2010, 18:46

gWaPito

14th May 2010, 19:11

I agree with a lot that is said, when Marvie and I were dating I told her straight up that i'd prefer a wife who didn't work and instead had time for her family. I was always jealous when I was younger of my friends parents where the Mum was always there when they came home from school with dinner on the table. I work 6 months a year (away), and earn enough for my missus not to need to, so whats the point. Plus I'd be bored on my 6 months holiday if she was out 9-5!!!!

I agree Ricky, Jane is just working basicly to keep her sain, we dont have children yet and you can only go to the 'shopping malls for so long until that gets to be a bore' she wants to contribute Ricky, her money is not touched, it just grows every month.
As you may be aware, work in the PH is contract work not like here, here her job is permanant and she has another social circle which I think is dam important..anyway another subject:Wave:

joebloggs

14th May 2010, 23:02

and earn enough for my missus not to need to, so whats the point. Plus I'd be bored on my 6 months holiday if she was out 9-5!!!!
because its her life, it should be her choice, so you would be bored on your 6 months hols, so how do you think she will be stuck at home 24/7 ? while your away :NoNo:

its not just about money its about her having a life and a career

now you all say that kids get in trouble if the mother works, well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh :doh your all the hunters and bread winners.. :icon_lol:
what year are we in :rolleyes:

RickyR

15th May 2010, 01:43

Joe it's a lifestyle choice. I told Marvie my feelings while we were dating, and I also said i'd never stop her working if she wanted to do it for reasons other then money. For me, having this type of family life is important, and I've met someone who feels the same way and is very happy to live this kind of life. Of course I wouldn't demand her to do anything, everything is a mutual decision, but she knows my feelings about things, and I know hers. I have encouraged Marvie towards volountary and charitable work, and involvement with the church to help ensure she doesn't reach the point of being bored. But that really is her choice.
I respect that some women want to work, and I also respect that some families have no option but to have both parents working simply to ensure that the bread is on the table.
Regardless of where you meet your partner, whether on the internet or in person, it certainly helps if you have some mutual interests or values from the start, because if you both have different ideas about how things are going to pan out once you're together, it isn't going to work.
For my family, it's always going to be a little bit difficult because i'm away from home, sometimes at the most critical and emotional times. Luckily, I have an understanding employer who will put me on the next flight home. But this is my lifestyle choice, and Marvie has come into this with her eyes open and knows that this is a life that some women wouldn't want and couldn't handle.

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 05:51

as you've said YOU dont want your wife to work Ricky, but what would you do if she said she doesnt want you to work away 6 months of the year, would you quit that job ? ...

and yes she knows about your lifestyle, but when you have kids are you still going to work 6 months of the year away from home? my misses sister, her husband is a first mate, he sees his kids for 6 months of the year, what kinda bond do you think they have ??

instead of telling my misses what to do, i've encouraged her to do what she wants, there are no rules, its cost us all the money we've had, 9yrs of my life, 20yrs of her life, a dream shes had all her life, its been one :censored: of a journey, but it doesn't matter if she wanted to be a doc or anything else, i'll be there supporting her :xxgrinning--00xx3:

we've always found away of having someone with our kids, either me the misses, a child minder or her aunt, and as for them being the next yobs, nothing could be further from the truth, they are too honest and decent, i'm worried how they will survive in the real world and so we will be sending our 9yr old girl for karate lessons..

RickyR

15th May 2010, 08:29

I understand what your saying Joe. But this is an individual lifestyle choice. What you choose and what works for you can vary differently to what works for other people.

If my missus wanted me to change my lifestyle, of course I'd have to change it. Does being away 6 months of the year, trouble our family. Well it has its difficulties, but i'm only away 2 months at a time, can be home anytime I want. Do I feel it ruins my relationship with my step-daughter and make it difficult with my pregnant wife? Yes, it poses its own challenges. But the way I see it, and this is a purely individual lifestyle choice, I'd rather have 6 months of quality time with my family then working mon-fri and commuting, only to get home at 6 or 7pm when my kids are going to bed. Doesn't suit everyone, but I see this life work for others and since Marvie has been at sea too she's strong enough to make it work for us. Yes, her being at home is critical for this to work, but its her free choice regardless of what I want.

Arthur Little

15th May 2010, 12:43

... well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh :doh your all the hunters and bread winners.. :icon_lol:
what year are we in :rolleyes:

Like your wife, Joe, my daughter was a professional person ... having worked as a Speech & Language Therapist for 15 years. Her husband is a Physics teacher but, for a couple of years after training, the only job he could find was in 'supply'. Then - when he DID obtain a permanent post - his wage was considerably less than Fiona's.

And so they decided that - if and when they had kids - Fiona would be the breadwinner ... with Dean staying at home to look after them.

As it transpired, however, they had been married more than 10 years before their first child came along :baby1: - by which time Dean's salary matched Fiona's - and she gave up work immediately, :ARsurrender: to devote herself to full-time motherhood.

Sure, they're a lot less affluent than they'd grown accustomed to - having since had to forego such luxuries as foreigh holidays and sell one of their two cars. But they wouldn't have it any other way, given the choice! :NoNo:

Besides, Fiona's mother-in-law lives quite close to them and would be only too pleased to "babysit" for them during the day ... but Fiona herself, is a firm believer in it being the parents' responsibility to look after their offspring - until the latter are school age at least!

Ross

15th May 2010, 13:05

:D:xxgrinning--00xx3: im happy reading all the replies here:D:D:furious3::76::D its all helpful indeed

thanks to everyone

this forum is superb:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::Wave::D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

ras66uk

15th May 2010, 13:08

its all bout balance no? time wit children , time wiv wife and time for yourself, my girl is independant... if i told her wat 2 do she wud kick my ass! as for money, difficult.... she says im a one day millionaire, however if she has d cash.... it amazingly disappears!:Rasp:

Arthur Little

15th May 2010, 13:46

... instead of telling my misses what to do, i've encouraged her to do what she wants, there are no rules, its cost us all the money we've had, 9yrs of my life, 20yrs of her life, a dream shes had all her life, its been one :censored: of a journey, but it doesn't matter if she wanted to be a doc or anything else, i'll be there supporting her :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Don't get me wrong :NoNo: ... I admire you and your missus for the tremendous sacrifices you've made [jointly] over many years. But wouldn't you agree that the fault lies principally with the 'Professional Standards Bodies' HERE in the UK? After all, it's these blinkered bureaucrats :xxsmilie_auslachen: who are setting unrealistic targets for already adequately-qualified non-Europeans entering this country as the lawfully-wedded spouses of British nationals (or whatever) ... solely to protect the interests of their OWN graduates - WHO, if truth be told, are in many instances a great deal LESS well-trained in their chosen disciplines!

And, until some degree of parity is reached (which, sadly, seems unlikely to happen!) :bigcry: this grossly unfair practice will continue to prevail.

cheeky

15th May 2010, 15:45

Maris and I have discussed her working when in UK. of course until we are married and she has the leave to remain visa, she will just busy herself with the culture, friends and generally learning about her new country.After we are married, well I am happy for Maris to do what she likes, of course I dont want her doing a job with hours where we pass likes ships in the night but whether it is to study or a job that suits her, I am fine. I want her to feel happy and motivated about her new life with me in the Uk. Money wise no need for Maris to work, so its really is up to her..

SteveL

15th May 2010, 16:49

My baby wants to work in UK until she's with child and then become a full time mum. I respect this, i think wives should choose , its the 21st century after all.

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 18:10

my :76: wasn't really about the wife working, it's about her being told what to, not all filipina's are so submissive, if i told the misses to do something and she didn't want to i would get :furious3::cwm3::cwm24::Help1:

and thats the way it should be.. partners 50/50 , maybe thats why were still married :laugher:

triple5

15th May 2010, 18:45

not all filipina's are so submissive

I'm never sure where that stereotype comes from. My missus and all her mates would tell any fella where to get off if they started bossing them around.

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 18:48

because its her life, it should be her choice, so you would be bored on your 6 months hols, so how do you think she will be stuck at home 24/7 ? while your away :NoNo:

its not just about money its about her having a life and a career

now you all say that kids get in trouble if the mother works, well how many of you guys are willing to stay at home 24/7 and look after your own child, surely they need a father figure to discipline them ? oh :doh your all the hunters and bread winners.. :icon_lol:
what year are we in :rolleyes:

Well JoeBloggs what can I say, I have read many of your posts over the years and to be honest I have not agreed with most of them!
This I have and all the others you have made in this thread.
I'm on sick leave and I'm only on my first week and believe me, it's driving me nuts! I could not imagine being stuck at home '24/7' but, like Ricky said, it's something they agreed on way before arriving on these shores also he did say things are not set in stone so, there you go.

In my experience this type of working set up does not work. I did it for 12 years, for example 4 weeks away then 3 days home yes, great money big house nice cars with all the posh holidays etc but, that was it.
I came from a family where we were poor as church mice but, we were a proper family, we eat together, laugh together all of that, things that were taken for granted but, most or some don't realise this until later in life until it's too late, perhaps this is where being a middle aged guy comes in handy ie; experince of life.
I'm much poorer than I was but, I would not swap the life I have now. I treasure my wife, I know she would be there for me whatever, like I said I had a lower back complaint last week and they thought it was a prolasped disc because I lost control of my functions at home, Jane was there and cleaned me up, imagine being thousands of miles away from your beloved while all around you are thinking the worst yes, you also think of your own and others mortality, another thing about being middle aged!!

Ricky, you are a good man, you will do whatever is right for your family. We are lucky, we are in a land where we can choose.

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 19:32

I'm never sure where that stereotype comes from. My missus and all her mates would tell any fella where to get off if they started bossing them around.

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of :censored: from their husband..

Well JoeBloggs what can I say, I have read many of your posts over the years and to be honest I have not agreed with most of them!
.

which ones :Erm:
:yikes: not agreed with most of them then your either :crazy: or :66: as most of my posts have been about immigration advice :D

triple5

15th May 2010, 19:42

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of :censored: from their husband..

I was referring more to the people who say, "Oh he just wants a filipina coz she'll do as she's told" Not so much the ladies on here. Just because they respect their husband's wishes on one aspect doesn't mean they're totally submissive to everything. I can't comment on ladies on here who have put up with :censored: from their husbands. The only one I remember was Allyn who has now left him.

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 19:47

where it comes from ? just read this thread again, see how many filipina's who replied said their husband didn't want them to work and they don't work, i know filipinas on here who have put up with a lot of :censored: from their husband..

which ones :Erm:
:yikes: not agreed with most of them then your either :crazy: or :66: as most of my posts have been about immigration advice :D

OK, It was one only and it did pi_ _ me off.
It was when my then fiance (pumpkins), now my wife mentioned about getting a spouse visa. You and another mod basicly put the boot in, after she explained the situation to you about me. I was affected for a while similar to this :cwm23:. I'm cool now :D Glad you are are still here

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 19:57

I was referring more to the people who say, "Oh he just wants a filipina coz she'll do as she's told" Not so much the ladies on here. Just because they respect their husband's wishes on one aspect doesn't mean they're totally submissive to everything. I can't comment on ladies on here who have put up with :censored: from their husbands. The only one I remember was Allyn who has now left him.

what about respecting their wife's wishes ? , there are more than you think, thats my point they don't speak out, Allyn did and shes a strong filipina :rolleyes:

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 19:59

OK, It was one only and it did pi_ _ me off.
It was when my then fiance (pumpkins), now my wife mentioned about getting a spouse visa. You and another mod basicly put the boot in, after she explained the situation to you about me. I was affected for a while similar to this :cwm23:. I'm cool now :D Glad you are are still here

most to only one :yikes::doh
can you give me more detail, i dont put the boot in on anyone :NoNo:

triple5

15th May 2010, 20:05

what about respecting their wife's wishes ? , there are more than you think, thats my point they don't speak out, Allyn did and shes a strong filipina :rolleyes:

Like others have said, its something that should be decided quite early on. There's no point bringing your wife here then laying down laws which will make her unhappy.

triple5

15th May 2010, 20:07

can you give me more detail

That's over 8000 posts you've got to search through now gwapito :icon_lol:

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 20:20

most to only one :yikes::doh
can you give me more detail, i dont put the boot in on anyone :NoNo:

Joe, my now wife explained to you that his exwife was still here in the UK and was worried that it would affect the visa application.
She then went into the history of that failed marriage, and it was said to her 'who says he won't do the same to you in a few months down the line' or words to that affect. The history is there to see what was said and it was hurtful Joe It wasn't only you who said it, many others jumped on the band wagon and it was wrong, anyway we have made it, Jane is here working full time in the same company as me so everyone is happy.
Joe you proberly didn't realised what you said was hurtful and neither did your followers, it was. When you have some time, you have a read. Its over now like I said and I am from the south so what do you expect!!;)

triple5

15th May 2010, 20:34

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 20:43

Who are these followers of Joes :icon_sorry::icon_sorry: :icon_lol: I'm sure he meant no offence Gwapito. Joe's been here for ages and has no doubt seen his fair share of negative stories. I've only been around just over a year and am surprised by how many scams and what not go on. I've done it myself at times quickly jumped to conclusions.

It was 'Pumpkins' first post and goes on from there.
I accept that Triple5 We are all but human. anyway I see you mentioned ladyboyz a few times, you don't like :Sex: :do_it:

triple5

15th May 2010, 20:50

anyway I see you mentioned ladyboyz a few times, you don't like :Sex: :do_it:
:NoNo::repuke::Bolt::nono-1-1::thumbsdown: Your eyes must just be attracted to the word :D

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 20:52

Joe, my now wife explained to you that his exwife was still here in the UK and was worried that it would affect the visa application.
She then went into the history of that failed marriage, and it was said to her 'who says he won't do the same to you in a few months down the line' or words to that affect. The history is there to see what was said and it was hurtful Joe It wasn't only you who said it, many others jumped on the band wagon and it was wrong, anyway we have made it, Jane is here working full time in the same company as me so everyone is happy.
Joe you proberly didn't realised what you said was hurtful and neither did your followers, it was. When you have some time, you have a read. Its over now like I said and I am from the south so what do you expect!!;)

right i've found the post
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?18080-ex-wife-visa

like i said i never , well never intend to put anyone down or stick the boot in, so if you can tell me where i have ?, in fact i've wished your misses good luck many times and i think the advice i have given here is good advice, and much of it is not my opinion but what i think the opinion of the ECO would be..

but people do only hear one side of the story and jump to conclusions and try and help the poster, thou people are wrong sometimes..

but its good to see your both together and its worked out :xxgrinning--00xx3:

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 21:00

right i've found the post
http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?18080-ex-wife-visa

like i said i never , well never intend to put anyone down or stick the boot in, so if you can tell me where i have ?, in fact i've wished your misses good luck many times and i think the advice i have given here is good advice, and much of it is not my opinion but what i think the opinion of the ECO would be..

but people do only hear one side of the story and jump to conclusions and try and help the poster, thou people are wrong sometimes..

but its good to see your both together and its worked out :xxgrinning--00xx3:

you did help us Joe we we are greatful for what you have done. Where we were expecting a 13 month wait or longer before Jane came on here, it turnt out to be a 4 week wait.
From what Jane said at the start it didn't sound good, I agree but, she put it right in the end, and yes, you did wish us well Thank you
You have not had it easy also so, we wish you well as well. So, Love all around ha :xxgrinning--00xx3:

bornatbirth

15th May 2010, 21:01

i think this thread as gone off topic :Erm:

how about a big group hug! :heartshape1:

maria_and_matt

15th May 2010, 21:03

yey to the group hug :laugher:

gWaPito

15th May 2010, 21:05

yey to the group hug :laugher:

yes, kisses all around:D

maria_and_matt

15th May 2010, 21:06

and kisses too mwah mwah mwah!:icon_lol:

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 21:08

you did help us Joe we we are greatful for what you have done. Where we were expecting a 13 month wait or longer, it turnt out to be a 4 week wait.
From what Jane said at the start it didn't sound good, I agree but, she put it right in the end, and yes, you did wish us well Thank you
You have not had it easy also so, we wish you well as well. So, Love all around ha :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:xxgrinning--00xx3: i don't think anyone on here means to offend or upset anyone, we hear of scams and problems other members have and warn other members of them, but it doesn't mean that all end the same way. the past doesn't equal the future :rolleyes: and people on here dont know your ex, you or your now wife. so dont be offend as i'm sure non is meant

goodluck to you both, not that you need it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

yes its not been easy for me and the misses, but were getting there :rolleyes:
i try to help people out, repaying the debt to others, because i've been helped to :xxgrinning--00xx3:

joebloggs

15th May 2010, 21:15

yey to the group hug :laugher:

:Wave: maria
had to take my dog to vets last week, it didn't look good , gave her an injection of rimadyl, took her back the next day, seen another vet, shes got cancer in her breasts, ear infection, arthritic in all her legs :cwm24:
vets thinks she is 15yrs old, had side effects to the rimadyl, stopped the tablets for a few days, will take her to vets maybe thursday/friday if she dont get better .. it could be :cwm24: this time :NoNo:

bornatbirth

15th May 2010, 21:18

:bigcry: animals get old and sadly start falling apart, 15 years is good going! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

maria_and_matt

15th May 2010, 21:18

:Wave: maria
had to take my dog to vets last week, it didn't look good , gave her an injection of rimadyl, took her back the next day, seen another vet, shes got cancer in her breasts, ear infection, arthritic in all her legs :cwm24:
vets thinks she is 15yrs old, had side effects to the rimadyl, stopped the tablets for a few days, will take her to vets maybe thursday/friday if she dont get better .. it could be :cwm24: this time :NoNo:

awwwww :( so sorry to hear that, hope she starts feeling better soon :-(