babies

[stevewool]

i know if emma reads this i will be in for the third degree but whats life without a good debate,babies and the muture man ????,and i dont mean smelly and mouldy too,living in england all my life and had my family who are all adults know well sometimes they are, i feel that having babies again at my time is not right for me, i look at it this way , the cost in money terms and years too. i feel i am being selfish to emma who has no children and i know would love to have a child, getting someone pregnant is so easy to some of us but its the looking after that is the hardest,the plans was to be here for a few more years saving hard then move to the phils with enough to make a good life there, i feel the best place for a child is here but then my whole life has changed i must then stay here and my dream will never happen, emma knows this and she seems ok but i see it in her face the sadness. i am being selfish

[darren-b]

I read your comments and something comes to mind that you may want to consider...

What if in a few years time when Emma has permanent residency and you are starting to properly plan your move, she decides that she must have children and if it's not with you it will have to be with someone else. Your dream of retiring to the Philippines will instantly be put on hold (maybe gone for good) at the expense of hers.

[stevewool]

yes i have thought of that too, we are hoping to be here for say 9 years then move out there and yes life can change, to make something last forever needs working and sharing, its a tricky one this and all i write emma reads too, i have opened a can of worms here i feel :NoNo:

[pennybarry]

She maybe sad because you can still make it.
But if you undergone vasectomy, she will accept it and still be happy.
Let her come over here and let her feel the advantage and disadvantage when she arrived.
If she's got a good job and ready for a baby, I don't think this will be a problem.
If she arrived, and she will see all the bills without her working then she may have second thought. :D

[marlyn&kenny]

steeve you're on a hard part eh? but nothing can be resolved in an open heart to heart talk.. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[marlyn&kenny]

steeve you're on a hard part eh? but nothing cant be resolved in an open heart to heart talk.. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

If I was in that situation I would have specifically looked for a single Filipina who didn't want children, then that issue won't arise. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[sparky]

If I was in that situation I would have specifically looked for a single Filipina who didn't want children, then that issue won't arise. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

in a perfect world yes but i guess you cant always help who you fall in love with.

we have had a brief chat about this before steve- as others have said there are no easy answers but i do believe its hard to ignore a ladys body clock if having kids is what she really really wants

as to being an older dad- i think that its a good thing rather than bad- more mature and i think a baby would be more precious to you than if you was in say your 20's

sure theres more money involved
but theres also more love - if your both happy then money isnt important- and you will always find a way.
even if you decide that having babies isnt what you want then nature sometimes has a way of making those decisions for you

whatever you do- good luck- and remember even if you decide no to have babies -the practice always comes in handy:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

in a perfect world yes but i guess you cant always help who you fall in love with.

If you're using the internet to find a lady, of course you do. If they don't fit the basic criteria that you must find out within the first few days, you move on. You can't fall in love that fast otherwise everyone would love me :rolleyes: :Erm:

As for the question, if the girl wants babies and you knew before you got married, then it is kind of selfish to deny her a family.

Better still.... pas over the baby crap, and adopt a Filipino boy who's just starting to like football :D

[bornatbirth]

yes, you are being selfish, you should of met a filipina who didnt want kids.

at what point did you both start discussing this because you have left it far to late.

as we get older our wants and needs change, your saying you want to retire asap in the philipines but if you have a kid you will stay in the uk?

[sars_notd_virus]

i know if emma reads this i will be in for the third degree but whats life without a good debate,babies and the muture man ????,and i dont mean smelly and mouldy too,living in england all my life and had my family who are all adults know well sometimes they are, i feel that having babies again at my time is not right for me, i look at it this way , the cost in money terms and years too. i feel i am being selfish to emma who has no children and i know would love to have a child, getting someone pregnant is so easy to some of us but its the looking after that is the hardest,the plans was to be here for a few more years saving hard then move to the phils with enough to make a good life there, i feel the best place for a child is here but then my whole life has changed i must then stay here and my dream will never happen, emma knows this and she seems ok but i see it in her face the sadness. i am being selfish

Not a good idea to put this on thread steve,...as this is a very sensitive issue and i think should only be discuss with your partner (emma)

Anyway,my advice
1.)do what you think is best
2.)do what your wife thinks best first.....and worry about it later

As for a good debate:::
Men have ego issues
Women have self esteem issues(u know what i mean?:rolleyes:)

[stevewool]

well thanks for the great advice my mom always told me to think and engage the brain before i open my gob but things do change never say never and yes its nice to have the fun side for both to enjoy but even emma says not yet , the kid i am on about not the :do_it: lets wait a few years then i will be old

[gWaPito]

She maybe sad because you can still make it.
But if you undergone vasectomy, she will accept it and still be happy.
Let her come over here and let her feel the advantage and disadvantage when she arrived.
If she's got a good job and ready for a baby, I don't think this will be a problem.
If she arrived, and she will see all the bills without her working then she may have second thought. :D

Having a vasectomy is not the end of baby making.

It can be reversed at a cost, it is not always successful but, it is better than no chance at all.

Good post Steve...

[stevewool]

thanks we shall see how we go on, the visa is first after that see what happens

[joebloggs]

you should ask emma is your being selfish :D
you might feel its not the right time to have a baby, but when is ? and the older you get surely it can be only more difficult for a number of reasons to have a baby.

yes having a baby can also bring many problems, but little joe is one of the best things in our lifes and we have no regrets :xxgrinning--00xx3:

so stop worrying about what might be:rolleyes:

[pennybarry]

Having a vasectomy is not the end of baby making.

It can be reversed at a cost, it is not always successful but, it is better than no chance at all.

Good post Steve...

I know Gwapito as I have friend who is married to German(undergone vasectomy) as he has no plan to have any.
But her filipna wife wished to have one and after reversed, she got one.
Now, she keeps on giving advice not to adopt and not to dream to have one. :omg:

But I am not sure if all can be reversed.:D

[aposhark]

i know if emma reads this i will be in for the third degree but whats life without a good debate,babies and the muture man ????,and i dont mean smelly and mouldy too,living in england all my life and had my family who are all adults know well sometimes they are, i feel that having babies again at my time is not right for me, i look at it this way , the cost in money terms and years too. i feel i am being selfish to emma who has no children and i know would love to have a child, getting someone pregnant is so easy to some of us but its the looking after that is the hardest,the plans was to be here for a few more years saving hard then move to the phils with enough to make a good life there, i feel the best place for a child is here but then my whole life has changed i must then stay here and my dream will never happen, emma knows this and she seems ok but i see it in her face the sadness. i am being selfish

Are you married Steve?
The decision whether to have a family should really be discussed before asking to marry her, because it is important to know each other's hopes and expectations.
If she is hoping for or expecting a baby, she could be very unhappy in her life if this option is not available to her.

Regarding your age, I don't think you should worry about it. Things have a way of sorting themselves out no matter what age you are.

[aposhark]

you should ask emma is your being selfish :D
you might feel its not the right time to have a baby, but when is ? and the older you get surely it can be only more difficult for a number of reasons to have a baby.

yes having a baby can also bring many problems, but little joe is one of the best things in our lifes and we have no regrets :xxgrinning--00xx3:

so stop worrying about what might be:rolleyes:

Now there's some solid advice :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

no we are not married yet and we have talked about it too, but things change , its not that i am against kids if we are blessed with one then that child will have all the love that we both can give, i want to marry emma because i feel i want to be with her the rest of my life its not for a baby yes if it happens then it happens but you marry a person for that person

[aposhark]

no we are not married yet and we have talked about it too, but things change , its not that i am against kids if we are blessed with one then that child will have all the love that we both can give, i want to marry emma because i feel i want to be with her the rest of my life its not for a baby yes if it happens then it happens but you marry a person for that person

Yes, I think you marry someone because of who they are, but important dreams and expectations should be discussed before you speak your vows.
If important dreams are not discussed and understood, it can sow the seeds for unhappiness in the future.
Best to be aware of Emma's needs asap. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Communication is the essence of a successful marriage ;)

[stevewool]

emmas needs are more important to me its just my thoughts and worrys for the long term future for emma and who else may come along , maybe i am just thinking to hard and to much

[gWaPito]

I know Gwapito as I have friend who is married to German(undergone vasectomy) as he has no plan to have any.
But her filipna wife wished to have one and after reversed, she got one.
Now, she keeps on giving advice not to adopt and not to dream to have one. :omg:

But I am not sure if all can be reversed.:D

Hi Penny. You are right, not all can be reversed but, this can be spotted on the consultation for a cost of £180.
The Surgeon I know of had a 92% success rate last year alone and on average he does on average 300 reverse vascestomies a year.

The closer the dates between the vascestomy and the reverse vasectomy, the higher the chance.

Bearing in mind the people having all done in there 20's have a bigger chance anyway.

Looking at the other end where the guy had his vasectomy 15 years ago the stats are not as good as the guy in his 20's but, what must be remembered is, the guy who had his vasectomy 15 years ago is 9 times out of 10 more than likely be married or partnered with a women much older than the 'prime' baby making years IE 18 to 35 years old. This must also be considered when looking at stats.

So if the guy had his vasectomy 15 years ago and his wife/partner is with in her 'prime' years there is every chance of it being successful, just like the guy in his 20's.

The facts are the highest chance is in your 20's (3years and below vasectomy) which is 97% the lowest being 79% ( thoses are guy with 15 years plus between vasectomy and reversal) chance of getting pregnant.
For the small cost of the reversal when you compare the cost with IVF, it is well worth it.

Bear in mind the average IVF treatment in the UK costs £2500 each time. The cost of the reverse vascetomy at this hospital I know of in the Midlands costs the same as the IVF and you get that chance of getting pregnant every month there after, unlike IVF where you have to spend £2500 each time.

Yes, you may have to go down the IVF route if the reverse operation don't work, better to do this first though.

So, yes Not all can be reversed but, look at the chances of sucess, from 97% to the low of 79%, well worth a bet it works Penny.

When you think many play the lotto every week and that is a 14 million to 1 chance of winning.
You have to be in it to win it.

[bornatbirth]

why would anyone have a knot tied into it :Erm:

[gWaPito]

If you're using the internet to find a lady, of course you do. If they don't fit the basic criteria that you must find out within the first few days, you move on. You can't fall in love that fast otherwise everyone would love me :rolleyes: :Erm:

As for the question, if the girl wants babies and you knew before you got married, then it is kind of selfish to deny her a family.

Better still.... pas over the baby crap, and adopt a Filipino boy who's just starting to like football :D

From the amount of groveling posts I see directed at you boss man, I thought they did love you?:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[KeithD]

From the amount of groveling posts I see directed at you boss man, I thought they did love you?:icon_lol::icon_lol:
Only when they want Rep :rolleyes:

[mickcant]

why would anyone have a knot tied into it :Erm:
Hi bornatbirth. :Wave:
I was blackmailed into having a vasectomy by my 1st wife and our Dr, as she was having problems with the pill, then a year later she had an affair with my mate :cwm23:
And went back on the pill, we divorced over that.

That was around 25 years ago and i have regretted having the
vasectomy ever since, mine is too long ago to be reversed.
Mick.:Brick:

[Doc Alan]

[QUOTE=gWaPito;226462]

The facts are the highest chance is in your 20's (3years and below vasectomy) which is 97% the lowest being 79% ( thoses are guy with 15 years plus between vasectomy and reversal) chance of getting pregnant..[/QUOTE
With respect, quoting "facts" to such a degree of "accuracy" is misleading. All medical practice must be evidence based. No studies are accepted as evidence without including confidence limits, numbers of patients involved, and meta analysis (comparison of similar published studies in peer-reviewed journals). Don't believe such apparently precise figures!
Vasectomy involves tying, stitching or cauterising (burning) the vas deferens (each of the tubes leading from the testes to the penis) so that sperm, while still produced, cannot exit through the penis. The volume and appearance of the ejaculate, and sexual desire, are little altered. The testes remain normal. The sperm are broken down in the testes. Reversal is technically difficult and not usually effective. Even mechanical success does not equate to success in achieving pregnancy with the partner, and may not be permanent.
The sperm may be abnormal, possibly because of antibody production, and there is an increased chance of birth defects. Cryostorage (freezing) of sperm before vasectomy is possible.

[aposhark]

My wife does not want me to have the snip as she says she may want one dozen kids :yikes:
I said I may want the snip if we have had three kids.
Well, having lots of kids is financially difficult in the UK but easier in the Phils.
There are so many other factors but we must always stay optimistic and make plans.

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans" - John Lennon

[bornatbirth]

Hi bornatbirth. :Wave:
I was blackmailed into having a vasectomy by my 1st wife and our Dr, as she was having problems with the pill, then a year later she had an affair with my mate :cwm23:
And went back on the pill, we divorced over that.

That was around 25 years ago and i have regretted having the
vasectomy ever since, mine is too long ago to be reversed.
Mick.:Brick:

this is my point, i will never have this done :NoNo:


My wife does not want me to have the snip as she says she may want one dozen kids :yikes:


is it the waltons or is it the von traps :Sex:

[sparky]

i will never ever have the snip

you never know what life can throw at you

[aposhark]

....is it the waltons or is it the von traps :Sex:

We'll see :doh

[joebloggs]

My wife does not want me to have the snip as she says she may want one dozen kids :yikes:
I said I may want the snip if we have had three kids.
Well, having lots of kids is financially difficult in the UK but easier in the Phils.

12 kids :omg:, one is a handful :cwm3: ... :D

not so sure, you would get child benefit for each of them til their what 16, free NHS treatment and schooling, and maybe even tax creds.

not so sure about snipping anything, but my misses had one of these implants done

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/images/206x155/implant_palm.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/sexual_health/contr_implant.shtml

[stevewool]

well i am not having the chop and all i was saying on here is my worries for the future of myself and emma and any future child, dont get me wrong england is still a good place to be, to bring up a family, like someone says free this and free that, i want only what i think we are entitled too, if you dont work and live on the dole and dont want anything england is great for those, but i want a better future for myself and partner and i think that is in the phils, but not for kids,

[KeithD]

i will never ever have the snip


I'd recommend sleeping with one eye open then during tampo periods ;)

[aposhark]

12 kids :omg:, one is a handful :cwm3: ... :D

not so sure, you would get child benefit for each of them til their what 16, free NHS treatment and schooling, and maybe even tax creds.

not so sure about snipping anything, but my misses had one of these implants done

I'm not a spring chicken anymore either.....thanks for the implant info.
Are you trusting it as your only contraception?

[aposhark]

well i am not having the chop and all i was saying on here is my worries for the future of myself and emma and any future child, dont get me wrong england is still a good place to be, to bring up a family, like someone says free this and free that, i want only what i think we are entitled too, if you dont work and live on the dole and dont want anything england is great for those, but i want a better future for myself and partner and i think that is in the phils, but not for kids,

Why not for kids?
Kids have respect for elders over there.

[KeithD]

Why would you need the snip anyway... a woman has other holes ;) :hubbahubba:

[stevewool]

indeed they do have more respect then the kids here , over there everyone seems to want to send there kids to private school for a better future, its just trying to get everything right for the future in my little world

[stevewool]

well boss man yes they do :yikes:

[joebloggs]

I'm not a spring chicken anymore either.....thanks for the implant info.
Are you trusting it as your only contraception?

it lasts 3yrs and only doing :Sex: once in 3yrs helps to not have more kids :D

:omg: my misses was reading this reply many hours ago, shes wondering what i'm upto :omg::cwm3::cwm24:

(another ad, misses dont have tampo days :rolleyes: ) can't say it works for all thou :doh

[aposhark]

it lasts 3yrs and only doing :Sex: once in 3yrs helps to not have more kids :D

:omg: my misses was reading this reply many hours ago, shes wondering what i'm upto :omg::cwm3::cwm24:

(another ad, misses dont have tampo days :rolleyes: ) can't say it works for all thou :doh

Sounds like you're relaxing and not over-exerting yourself :laugher:

[joebloggs]

Sounds like you're relaxing and not over-exerting yourself :laugher:

you've got to pace yourself mrshark, wait til your little'un is born :NoNo:, i've got to keep me wits about me or little joe will land a punch to my face :cwm3::Cuckoo:

all the best to you and your misses :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

[QUOTE=gWaPito;226462]

The facts are the highest chance is in your 20's (3years and below vasectomy) which is 97% the lowest being 79% ( thoses are guy with 15 years plus between vasectomy and reversal) chance of getting pregnant..[/QUOTE
With respect, quoting "facts" to such a degree of "accuracy" is misleading. All medical practice must be evidence based. No studies are accepted as evidence without including confidence limits, numbers of patients involved, and meta analysis (comparison of similar published studies in peer-reviewed journals). Don't believe such apparently precise figures!
Vasectomy involves tying, stitching or cauterising (burning) the vas deferens (each of the tubes leading from the testes to the penis) so that sperm, while still produced, cannot exit through the penis. The volume and appearance of the ejaculate, and sexual desire, are little altered. The testes remain normal. The sperm are broken down in the testes. Reversal is technically difficult and not usually effective. Even mechanical success does not equate to success in achieving pregnancy with the partner, and may not be permanent.
The sperm may be abnormal, possibly because of antibody production, and there is an increased chance of birth defects. Cryostorage (freezing) of sperm before vasectomy is possible.


I am aware of the process, I didnt want to bore the readers.

As for the antibodies, I'm also aware of that.
You mention higher risk of birth defects, that is also a known fact that if either partner are there 40's the risk of have a child with defects are laso greatly increased, with or with out reversed vasectomy.


The figures I quoted are from the surgeon concerned, these are his figures for the year ending December 2009 based on the findings of the 342 reversals made that year.
Hence the figures I stated.

I also said, not all are sucessfull.

All what is guranteed in life is death and taxes.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aposhark]

you've got to pace yourself mrshark, wait til your little'un is born :NoNo:, i've got to keep me wits about me or little joe will land a punch to my face :cwm3::Cuckoo:

all the best to you and your misses :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Thanks a lot, Joe.
I am still running a lot to prepare for the exertion :bigcry:

[ladyvhee]

Hi
I know how it feels like, I have no children too. My husband has had a vasectomy before 25 years ago. Me and my hubby had a big discussions before we got married that he cant have children anymore. Having children is wonderfull but if ,she loves you she will accept who you are. Now we are happily together and always in love.
( as a filipino you cannot avoid your relatives to ask you some questions about having children. I usually reply them im happy not to have one.):icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

Hi
I know how it feels like, I have no children too. My husband has had a vasectomy before 25 years ago. Me and my hubby had a big discussions before we got married that he cant have children anymore. Having children is wonderfull but if ,she loves you she will accept who you are. Now we are happily together and always in love.
( as a filipino you cannot avoid your relatives to ask you some questions about having children. I usually reply them im happy not to have one.):icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

Each to their own ... and if both partners are happy with that, then :anerikke: so be it! :welcomex: to the filipinouk forum.

[bornatbirth]

she doesnt sound happy to me and regrets not having any kids?.

[gecko_pikachu]

Hi Steve,

I respect your decision of not having any kids of Emma.
.. but you have to consider Emma's thoughts and feelings either.
You should've told her for the first place right from the start that you want no kids.
Being honest in the relationship is very important and you know that yourself BUT you should've opened out more about this very complicated issue even before.

But having said that, it's still up to both of you what's the best thing to do.
I know how hard the responsibilities of looking after kids, etc. but perhaps Emma will be happier if she has at least your own child.
I was so bored when I came here for the first few months but I did feel a lot happier and stronger when I had my first child.
It was too much on the plate having a baby yet it's really rewarding and worth it to have one... and now, I have 2 :icon_lol:.
Just imagine a house with no kids, I'll be bored.
They are my pride, my everything..
It just takes time for you Steve to get used to have a newborn baby in the house.
But at the end of the day, it's still your child and no one else can make you happier than seeing your baby's smile... and scream?
Oh well, they do grow very fast.
They won't be like that forever.
Just take life easy.
I don't want the both of you to rush about any decisions that you have to make.
I also don't want the both of you to regret things at the end and it's too late.
Goodluck...
Everything has a reason...
And hope you'll choose the right path on to your decision :Wave:

[James Hubbard]

i don't want to ruffle any feathers or anything ... but ....

I was born when my dad was 37 ... or maybe 38.

I got taunted in school coz my dad was old. In secondary school especially, he was remarkably out of touch.

hmmm

When I was 10, he was only 48. I was already being taunted for it.

....

flip to my friend in the Phils. I was living in the same subdivision as a man - a white guy, whose wife is 23, and the guy is 68. Personally, ... that's a massive age gap, but whatever - their life.

....

anyway ... so the girl gets pregnant right? In like 8 years, the dude dies and the girl is a single mother.

That's a great way to love your child, right? Be so old when he/she's born that you die when he/she's in his/her formative years... the child is 8 years old and daddy dies of "natural causes" or Old Age. Great dad.:NoNo:

Sorry for being so blunt. It's just my view.

thanks for listening.

James "tell-the-truth-whether-you-like-it-or-not" Hubbard!

[malditako]

im eldest in family and father died when i was 2 years old not from old age (he's just 22 then) but from accident..we grew up without a dad beside us but then we were loved by all of our friends, relatives, and family and supported us as we growing up...i know it had been hard for mum but look at the bright side...she was not left alone by my dad she have us and she's happy having us (good remembrance from my dad) :)...having a kind of life i have right now (my husband and baby) is more than enough to thank my dad for bringing me out in this world :)

just sharing my experience here :)

[RickyR]

I'm going through the concerns of having a vasectomy at the moment, our little boy is due next month and we already have a little girl from Marvie's previous marriage. This for me is going to be enough, and I want to have a vasectomy after that, but having been told by a few people not to take it too lightly, and now reading some regrets on here is making me a think a little. I can say 100% I don't want more then 2 children, but obviously no idea what the future may hold.

[KeithD]

Sorry for being so blunt. It's just my view.
Well if the kid when it's born can't go out to hunt it own food, then it's not the parents fault :rolleyes:

It's not that long ago that humans were lucky to live till 40, most fathers died around the age of 30.

In the animal kingdom it's usually the oldest male that mates with all the females, so all you guys would still be virgins while your dad/grandad was still putting it about :cwm24:

[stevewool]

lots of good reading a good letter there james looking to the future hubbard,the end of the day its down to two people what is best for them, now and the future, and for now we have each other and thats a great start:)

[Arthur Little]

I was born when my dad was 37 ... or maybe 38.

I got taunted in school coz my dad was old. In secondary school especially, he was remarkably out of touch.

hmmm

When I was 10, he was only 48. I was already being taunted for it.

:cwm24: ... oh dear, James ... MY daughter - 41 next Sunday - was 37 when she had HER firstborn. She was already 40 when she gave birth to her second child. I hope her two kids don't have to endure what you'd to go through ... :NoNo:

[Arthur Little]

i don't want to ruffle any feathers or anything ... but ....

....

flip to my friend in the Phils. I was living in the same subdivision as a man - a white guy, whose wife is 23, and the guy is 68. Personally, ... that's a massive age gap, but whatever - their life.

....

anyway ... so the girl gets pregnant right? In like 8 years, the dude dies and the girl is a single mother.

That's a great way to love your child, right? Be so old when he/she's born that you die when he/she's in his/her formative years... the child is 8 years old and daddy dies of "natural causes" or Old Age. Great dad.:NoNo:

Sorry for being so blunt. It's just my view.

thanks for listening.

James "tell-the-truth-whether-you-like-it-or-not" Hubbard!

... conversely, I became a father when I was barely 25 - an ideal age in my opinion - and :iagree: it goes against the NATURAL order of things for :olddude:s of 60+ to take up the mantle of parenthood again at THEIR time of life. I for one, certainly wouldn't want to :nono-1-1: - and - in so saying - could well find myself ruffling more than a few feathers too. But, as I mentioned in a previous post on this topic, I guess it's a matter of couples choosing for themselves. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[triple5]

I know a guy who has just turned 65 and has a boy and girl who are 3 and 4 with his 25yr old wife. It's never too late, I guess, but you have to consider your own mortality and how long you'll be around for your kids.

[Arthur Little]

It's never too late, I guess, *but you have to consider your own mortality and how long you'll be around for your kids.

*Absolutely, Paul ... :iagree:

[James Hubbard]

:cwm24: ... oh dear, James ... MY daughter - 41 next Sunday - was 37 when she had HER firstborn. She was already 40 when she gave birth to her second child. I hope her two kids don't have to endure what you'd to go through ... :NoNo:

yes, i really hope that they don't have to endure that taunting from other kids.

[gecko_pikachu]

The kids here in the UK are bullies!
And obviously no one likes a bully.
I'm so aware that Filipino kids are not like that.
They have more respect to other people.
They tend to respect you more if you're foreigner.
... and also treat you very well.
So maybe it's not a downside to older fathers married to Filipinas to eventually migrate to the Philippines when you're financially stable.
Your kids have more chances to become a model.
... to be an actor or something, etc!

Some people today are so mean.
Unfortunately, you can find them everywhere you turn.
Just ignore them.
When someone is being mean to you--or to the world at large, for that matter--you should realize that the problem lies with him, and not with you.

To Steve,
Being a father at your age is not a problem at all.
To be honest, I think bringing up children is a lot easier now than it was 20 years ago.
There are better childcare facilities, more reliable medicines, disposable nappies.
It makes fatherhood much more straightforward.
Don't make your age an issue.
You're still young at heart and I know you could still cope with fatherhood.
In many ways I can feel like you have an advantage over younger dads.
You've got more life experience and more time to invest in your children.
You can be a constant role model rather than someone who just pops up now and again to tell them off.
For instance, Sir Paul McCartney became a dad for the fourth time at 61.

Old fathers are three times more likely to take regular responsibility for a young child.
They are more likely to be fathers by choice and this means that they become more positively involved with the child.
They behave more like mothers, smiling at the baby and gurgling - although young fathers are probably better at getting down on the floor for physical play :D

[stevie c]

I know a guy who has just turned 65 and has a boy and girl who are 3 and 4 with his 25yr old wife. It's never too late, I guess, but you have to consider your own mortality and how long you'll be around for your kids.

i fully agree :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[junior02]

i have 4 kids iwas 23 wen first 1 born and 40 wen my last was born wen im 70 my last child will be 30 whats wrong with that, as for kids getting bullied about ther parants age what a load of rubbish, and if you do get bullied over something stand up for yourselfs and dont let them get the better of u.

[gecko_pikachu]

i have 4 kids iwas 23 wen first 1 born and 40 wen my last was born wen im 70 my last child will be 30 whats wrong with that, as for kids getting bullied about ther parants age what a load of rubbish, and if you do get bullied over something stand up for yourselfs and dont let them get the better of u.

Very well said!
I salute you for being brave! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kalabasa]

having a baby/kids/children complete a family.no matter how many times you get married but having your own that counts really:):heartshape1:

[Arthur Little]

The kids here in the UK are bullies?

YOU bet ... kids can be really CRUEL :xxsport-smiley-002: ... I can testify to THAT!

[Arthur Little]

Sir Paul McCartney became a dad for the fourth time at 61.


Yeah ... that's all very well ... but, to be realistic, how much interaction do you imagine someone of HIS vintage is likely to have with the child. Same would've applied to the likes of Charlie Chaplin - who was maybe even a decade older when his youngest was born. :rolleyes:

And let's face it ... BOTH of these :olddude:s happened to be in the fortunate position of being well enough off financially to afford nannies and childminders practically round the clock!!

[bornatbirth]

Old fathers are three times more likely to take regular responsibility for a young child.
They are more likely to be fathers by choice and this means that they become more positively involved with the child.
They behave more like mothers, smiling at the baby and gurgling - although young fathers are probably better at getting down on the floor for physical play :D

you have a point there as they the push the child around they can use the push chair as a zimmer frame :D

btw your post make me smile.

[Arthur Little]

i have 4 kids iwas 23 wen first 1 born and 40 wen my last was born wen im 70 my last child will be 30 *whats wrong with that?

Nothing! :NoNo: As I pointed out earlier, MY daughter was forty when SHE had her second. Even someone becoming a father in his fifties is ... well ... okay really - provided he's still got the energy to fulfil his role as a parent - but sixty plus ... :nono-1-1: ... as far as I'M concerned, anyway!

[bornatbirth]

older men having kids, theres quite a few married to filipinas :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

btw your post make me smile.

:cwm24: glad SOMEONE'S laughing ... :omg: I'm beginning to "sound" like Dom!

[Arthur Little]

you have a point there as they the push the child around they can use the push chair as a zimmer frame :D

... YOUR comment has had the SAME effect on ME! :laugher:

[bornatbirth]

:cwm24: glad SOMEONE'S laughing ...

whats wrong arthur :Erm:

[Arthur Little]

whats wrong arthur :Erm:

:cwm24: ... the mere THOUGHT of :olddude:s "cooing and gurgling" over offspring young enough to be their great-grandchildren :doh ...

[bornatbirth]

i have met guys who have kids with there much younger filipina wifes and they seem happy, if you and i dont agree what does it matter.....anyway i thought it was you getting on your knees to play with the kids and not being able to get back up again :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

... or WORSE ... getting down on their hunkers to PLAY with them ... followed by the inevitable struggle :lame: to get back up onto their feet again ... ouch!

[James Hubbard]

...

[bornatbirth]

why not just delete the post and you can leave the reason blank :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

These days with technology a 60 yr old woman can have a baby, and when it's born daddy can play 'Who is the wrinkliest?' :D

[bornatbirth]

didnt a woman give birth in her 60's and a father was in his 70's :Erm:

[James Hubbard]

why not just delete the post and you can leave the reason blank :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Because I wanted to do it the way i did it.

[Lancashirelad]

Before i met my Gf i would have swore id never have a another baby ( i have a grown up daughter with my ex). But i know my gf wants children, and i want her to be fufilled with her marriage and life here. Now im excited for the idea of a family with her, we agreed 2 children max, and we will plan to wait a couple of years here before we try, well maybe we just practice a bit first lol :Rasp:

[Arthur Little]

Because I wanted to do it the way i did it.

In other words, James ... to be 'Frank' ... you "did it :1056158225: YOUR way"!

[gWaPito]

sorry to read your story James. It almost sounded like you regret being born because of your Dad being older than the norm. Like gparry and others have said Its not all doom and gloom ok he left you early in your life but he must of made a lasting impression on you? And what of your family ? Surely your childhood cld not of been that unhappy all because your parents wanted you. being an older Dad you tend not to be broke You tend to be more thoughtful Caring and above all else Reliable Ths older dad's are not all cripples so lets have some shades of grey not jst black and white. Lets not be shocked or surprised that our young Piny's want children Its there right

[stevewool]

iys down to each othere and saying what you are both wanting , yes its everyones right to have children , but its not everyone that can care for there child too, who knows what the future holds for any off us , its now that counts, enjoy the day and who knows what tomorrow may bring, ps, i was a very young dad i had just turned 19 and to young so a older dad may be wiser :)

[LastViking]

emmas needs are more important to me its just my thoughts and worrys for the long term future for emma and who else may come along , maybe i am just thinking to hard and to much

I think you are Steve. Just let things happen and enjoy your life. But I really do agree with others, it is Emma you should be discussing these things with, both your hopes and your fears.

[badrock]

Would truly love to be able to give my wife a baby but had the snip almost 30 yrs ago. A reversal is expensive..£3500... but only a 10% chance of working after that.. I would adopt but she says it,s not the same. Resigned to the fact now.