wiVES problems :)

[Ross]

what are the adjustment for a wife and hus husband wife when she comes and lives with his husband in the Uk? and how long it takes to really settle.:cwm24::cwm24::NoNo::D:cwm3::Wave:

[stevewool]

well this is going to run for a long time i can feel it in my water:icon_lol::icon_lol:, did you live as man and wife before coming here

[Ross]

well this is going to run for a long time i can feel it in my water:icon_lol::icon_lol:, did you live as man and wife before coming here

oh yes back in philippines living togther for 2 years:D:D:D:yikes::D and now here stettling in UK:yikes::icon_lol: Just at times things are hard :NoNo::NoNo::cwm24::cwm3:

[stevewool]

well ross , its a big change for both of you being here , emma will be coming here july 31st so i think i shall be in your shoes for a while at least, so what problems then ross lets try and sort them out

[Ross]

well ross , its a big change for both of you being here , emma will be coming here july 31st so i think i shall be in your shoes for a while at least, so what problems then ross lets try and sort them out

yeah think i agree to you on that :xxgrinning--00xx3::D its just at times when you look back..things werent the same as they way it should be..well life can be tough at times:D:yikes: anyway goodluck and sending warm regards to both of you ..:):heartshape1:

[stevewool]

we all look back and think wow great times , but its forward we all must head, sometimes life is not what we want but its down to 2 people to sort it out , it takes time and hard work and understanding from both of you , you will get there

[joebloggs]

oh yes back in philippines living togther for 2 years:D:D:D:yikes::D and now here stettling in UK:yikes::icon_lol: Just at times things are hard :NoNo::NoNo::cwm24::cwm3:

things will get better ross :rolleyes:, my misses has been in the UK for 5yrs now, we talked a few times about her going back to the phils, but now things are finally going good for her, she doesn't talk about it any more, my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

.....my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You're going to be kind enough to let her look at the photos? :cwm24:

[Ross]

we all look back and think wow great times , but its forward we all must head, sometimes life is not what we want but its down to 2 people to sort it out , it takes time and hard work and understanding from both of you , you will get there

oh yeah:D:D takes a lot of effort too and knwoing you grow both and become more mature and handling things but having no slept evernight doesnt slept isnt it:omg::omg::D:D lovely kids we have but pain sometimes for not yet settling properly.have only an hour or so slepot every night imagine that..:D:D plus during days ..well i know it our responsibilty as parents :D:D:furious3::D:cwm3::Wave:

[joebloggs]

You're going to be kind enough to let her look at the photos? :cwm24:

i let her look at the photos on her birthday every year :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

where abouts are you ross and how amny kids , we all need sleep and thats when we become very angry lack of it , you are either to tied or wound up like a spring , once the kids are asleep you go even if its so early , thats a start

[pennybarry]

One month adjusted for my husband,:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Need more years to adjust with weather.

[sparky]

i also will follow this thread with interest

myrna will be here in 2 weeks and i have to admit i am worried a little on how she will settle.

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on:cwm24:

i had a thai ex who came over here and couldnt settle at all a number of years ago so ihave learned a few things from that expereince i would hope. but even so i just worry that she wont settle- the weather of course is a concern but thats something that i cannot alter

[stevewool]

hi there sparky yep soon be here mate emma is coming july 31st so lets get together after then , and i have been told buy long johns for them to wear , dont know if i was being taken the p--- out off but its a good thought ,

[KeithD]

i let her look at the photos on her birthday every year :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Just HER photo's? Ones of her? :Erm: So kind of you Oh Great One :icon_sorry:

[joebloggs]

Just HER photo's? Ones of her? :Erm: So kind of you Oh Great One :icon_sorry:

no pictures of me of course :xxgrinning--00xx3:

if she wasn't working all night and day, i would be brown bread by now if she had time to read these posts :cwm24:

[-sillybilly-]

i also will follow this thread with interest

myrna will be here in 2 weeks and i have to admit i am worried a little on how she will settle.

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on:cwm24:

i had a thai ex who came over here and couldnt settle at all a number of years ago so ihave learned a few things from that expereince i would hope. but even so i just worry that she wont settle- the weather of course is a concern but thats something that i cannot alter

Dont worry she will settle as soon as you are together. Just have to be patient with everything she needs to learn. Filipinas are very clever and we dont surrender.

[malditako]

it took me one month to adjust with the place but on weather not yet...though i miss my family once in a while and hubby is still adjusting how to handle our little boys tuntrums :icon_lol::icon_lol: as soon as she learn to go in places by herself she be fine....shopping mall is the best therapy lol :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[stevewool]

there are no shopping malls in draycott :icon_lol::icon_lol:

[malditako]

there are no shopping malls in draycott :icon_lol::icon_lol:

luckilly i can manage to go either to derby center or nottingham lol...cant wait to got there with emma...get ur atm ready lol

[Ann07]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross:)

[somebody]

To really settle may take a while but to feel comfortable especially with you all ready knowing your hubby well should not take so long. Although you will of course be seeing him in a different environment.Im guessing he will have friends and family he will wanna catch up with.

For the wife to fully settle its taken a good few years but by that i mean she can understand well Western thinking and way of doing things. She understands the pace of life and can handle day to day pressures with ease. She can converse with a local girl of her age and have them think she lived here all her life asking her what school she went to :icon_lol:

From what I have read from a Thai site similar to this Thais find it many times harder to settle in the west than a Phill does. Firstly English all phills understand and of course read English even if they dont speak it so well at first.So for example a Bus/train or a high street is not such a scary place as all the signs are easy to read..

Another for us at least us as a couple does seem to be as Christians straight off they seem to have something in common with your friends and families ie chatting about basic beliefs (which for many of us are still very much based on Christian values, the national holidays and able to celebrate them even if its just family gatherings and work holidays..

A mate i knew better and hung round with more in the early noughties had thai girlfriends and compared to my Wife and other Phill ladies i knew they did seem to have far bigger problems conversing and understanding British way of doing things.. The only one of his Girl friends who ever appeared to have "fitted in" had been schooled and grown up here in the Uk.

[-sillybilly-]

to really settle may take a while but to feel comfortable especially with you all ready knowing your hubby well should not take so long. Although you will of course be seeing him in a different environment.im guessing he will have friends and family he will wanna catch up with.

For the wife to fully settle its taken a good few years but by that i mean she can understand well western thinking and way of doing things. She understands the pace of life and can handle day to day pressures with ease. She can converse with a local girl of her age and have them think she lived here all her life asking her what school she went to :icon_lol:

From what i have read from a thai site similar to this thais find it many times harder to settle in the west than a phill does. Firstly english all phills understand and of course read english even if they dont speak it so well at first.so for example a bus/train or a high street is not such a scary place as all the signs are easy to read..

Another for us at least us as a couple does seem to be as christians straight off they seem to have something in common with your friends and families ie chatting about basic beliefs (which for many of us are still very much based on christian values, the national holidays and able to celebrate them even if its just family gatherings and work holidays..

A mate i knew better and hung round with more in the early noughties had thai girlfriends and compared to my wife and other phill ladies i knew they did seem to have far bigger problems conversing and understanding british way of doing things.. The only one of his girl friends who ever appeared to have "fitted in" had been schooled and grown up here in the uk.

thats why i am so proud to be a pinay!!!

[Ross]

things will get better ross :rolleyes:, my misses has been in the UK for 5yrs now, we talked a few times about her going back to the phils, but now things are finally going good for her, she doesn't talk about it any more, my misses has not seen her family for 5yrs, but soon she will again :xxgrinning--00xx3:

am only here for month now :D:D:omg: but felt like 10 years:D:D:cwm3::Cuckoo:. good for your wife finally after all she can bring some sunshine from PH for you :icon_lol:.:xxgrinning--00xx3::D:D:cwm24::icon_lol:

[Ross]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross:)
hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee:D:D:Cuckoo: when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids lol..

[Ross]

hi ross

i know exactly how it feels having kids....the sleepless nights...tiredness... esp in your situation having to adjust in your new place with the kids its not really easy...really hardwork having kids..its a commitment . But in due time you will be fine and the kids. You can find your nearest playgroup in your area in that way you will get in involve in different activities that will benefit you and your kids. Goodluck Ross:)

hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee:D:D:Cuckoo: when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids

[Ross]

where abouts are you ross and how amny kids , we all need sleep and thats when we become very angry lack of it , you are either to tied or wound up like a spring , once the kids are asleep you go even if its so early , thats a start

we live somewhere in plympton plymouth devon:D having no slept is really difficult but the soon i get a slept the 3 kids awake :cwm24::cwm24::omg:

[Ann07]

hello ann..yeah but at times i forgot that i a mother who need to brush my teeth or even to peeeee:D:D:Cuckoo: when i need too.really having hard time on adjusting to kids

ha ha ha thats true i was like that after i had john esp when my husband was away for work/shops:icon_lol::icon_lol:

just look at their faces and that make us smile despite all the hardships isnt it? its hardwork but the joy they bring to us is priceless:)

[aposhark]

One month adjusted for my husband,:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Need more years to adjust with weather.

Hi Penny,
My wife laughed at your answer as she was in agreement with you concerning the weather :)
She has just told me, whilst laughing, that it will take two years to adjust to me :icon_lol:
We have a great marriage, I just hope all the other men on here are enjoying wonderful days with their Filipina wives too.
You seem to be very happy also :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Good luck :Wave:

[stevewool]

well that would be nice gparry but i want change from the £5

[joebloggs]

we live somewhere in plympton plymouth devon:D having no slept is really difficult but the soon i get a slept the 3 kids awake :cwm24::cwm24::omg:

sorry i cant remember how old your kids are, i know you have a baby and a 7yr old ?

are they going to school or nursary yet ? going to nursery wears little joe out :icon_sorry::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[malditako]

well that would be nice gparry but i want change from the £5

hahaha!!!,,,thats only enough for the bus fare going to derby

[pennybarry]

Hi Penny,
My wife laughed at your answer as she was in agreement with you concerning the weather :)
She has just told me, whilst laughing, that it will take two years to adjust to me :icon_lol:
We have a great marriage, I just hope all the other men on here are enjoying wonderful days with their Filipina wives too.
You seem to be very happy also :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Good luck :Wave:

Thanks Apo!

I don't really need to adjust more here in the UK as I still feel nothing changed in my life too much.
I can still visit yearly my nearest and dearest in Pinas, not in debt what else?:xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol:
Outgoing, enjoys travel, having my own freedom financially and being with friends if I want.
I am lucky as I have my understanding husband and allows me to do things that will make me happy as long as not harming our relationship. Nice feeling ! No much worries and enjoying life to the fullest.:heartshape1::heartshape1::icon_lol:

It is always the weather that makes me feel like having a british mood. ahahhahaha

[aposhark]

i also will follow this thread with interest

myrna will be here in 2 weeks and i have to admit i am worried a little on how she will settle.

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on:cwm24:

i had a thai ex who came over here and couldnt settle at all a number of years ago so ihave learned a few things from that expereince i would hope. but even so i just worry that she wont settle- the weather of course is a concern but thats something that i cannot alter

Hi sparky,

Rochelyn is still very shy after being here for over a year.
She is a quiet lady from the province and not at all "full on" :Cuckoo:
I hoped she would make more friends but she has found that the pinays are a little too "gossipy" in our town.
She is always laughing though, so I know she is happy.... or just laughing at me perhaps :Erm:

Lots of love and attention and I'm sure Myrna will be ok.
Rochelyn sends texts via chikkatext most days to her family, make sure Myrna brings over a roaming enabled sim card so her family can reply to her regularly and inexpensively :xxgrinning--00xx3:

It's the small things that seem to be important, like buying flowers and a bag of pork scratchings!

Best of luck to you both, you will wake up together everyday soon and your days will be loved up :heartshape1:

[sars_notd_virus]

what are the adjustment for a wife and hus husband wife when she comes and lives with his husband in the Uk?

too much:do_it::doh

[mistermatty]

i have a lot of friends who want to help her settle but i keep telling them that she has to do it at her pace- she is painfully shy and some of my friends are rather full on:cwm24:



Shy she is not mate , every time i saw her she would be pretty vocal and shout " Matt wheres Martin " :icon_lol:

[Ross]

too much:do_it::doh

well :D:D:D in that things am so lucky unlike yours :icon_lol::icon_lol::D:Erm: maybe am wrong.:icon_lol::icon_lol::do_it::laugher: i can give you books for it to read or toys maybe if youd like :yikes::yikes::D:D:D:do_it:

[Ross]

sorry i cant remember how old your kids are, i know you have a baby and a 7yr old ?

are they going to school or nursary yet ? going to nursery wears little joe out :icon_sorry::xxgrinning--00xx3:

kids ages 1 and 10 months, 3 and 6 years old..:D:D fun of buzzing all day dont get slept enough during night.dont know really..:Erm::Erm::omg:
the 6 years old is going but not sure which school seems on our area the were full at the moment:(

[Ross]

Thanks Apo!

I don't really need to adjust more here in the UK as I still feel nothing changed in my life too much.
I can still visit yearly my nearest and dearest in Pinas, not in debt what else?:xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol:
Outgoing, enjoys travel, having my own freedom financially and being with friends if I want.
I am lucky as I have my understanding husband and allows me to do things that will make me happy as long as not harming our relationship. Nice feeling ! No much worries and enjoying life to the fullest.:heartshape1::heartshape1::icon_lol:

It is always the weather that makes me feel like having a british mood. ahahhahaha

:D:D its the way your life pathway is guiding you anyway one day life would be so easy on us all and live like no worries at all

ingat lage:D:D:heartshape1::Wave:

[stevewool]

wow 1 month and 10 months seems like no rest between:do_it::do_it::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Ross]

wow 1 month and 10 months seems like no rest between:do_it::do_it::icon_lol::icon_lol:

well we just enjoy life thats what it is :D:D or simply means we are so productive :D:D:doh:icon_lol::icon_lol::crazy::cwm3::D
have you got any children then:D:D:Sex::do_it::do_it:
sorry have to correct you we have 3 kids one months and 10 months is the age of our youngest lol :)

[sars_notd_virus]

wi can give you books for it to read or toys maybe if youd like :yikes::yikes::D:D:D:do_it:

no thanks ross u cant give me books about :do_it:....am loving fiction and non fiction books and not related into:do_it::icon_lol::icon_lol:oh and about toy?? why need one when i can easily get hold of my Boy scouts toggle:Rasp::Erm:

[sars_notd_virus]

wow 1 month and 10 months seems like no rest between:do_it::do_it::icon_lol::icon_lol:

u got it steve:icon_lol:

[Ross]

no thanks ross u cant give me books about :do_it:....am loving fiction and non fiction books and not related into:do_it::icon_lol::icon_lol:oh and about toy?? why need one when i can easily get hold of my Boy scouts toggle:Rasp::Erm:

loving huh:D:D really. or was it size of the winky :yikes::yikes::icon_lol: anyway thnaks for your replied much appreciated mate

[malditako]

kids ages 1 and 10 months, 3 and 6 years old..:D:D fun of buzzing all day dont get slept enough during night.dont know really..:Erm::Erm::omg:
the 6 years old is going but not sure which school seems on our area the were full at the moment:(

i understand the hardwork...me and hubby struggle with one how much more having 4..gosh it will really drives me nuts i guess. goodluck ross lol

[-sillybilly-]

well we just enjoy life thats what it is :D:D or simply means we are so productive :D:D:doh:icon_lol::icon_lol::crazy::cwm3::D
have you got any children then:D:D:Sex::do_it::do_it:
sorry have to correct you we have 3 kids one months and 10 months is the age of our youngest lol :)

you guys thinking of getting a nanny?
wow! 1 month and 10months old?

[sparky]

Shy she is not mate , every time i saw her she would be pretty vocal and shout " Matt wheres Martin " :icon_lol:

That's cos she loves me too much :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ross]

you guys thinking of getting a nanny?
wow! 1 month and 10months old?

sorry have to correct you we have 3 kids one months and 10 months is the age of our youngest lol

[Ross]

i understand the hardwork...me and hubby struggle with one how much more having 4..gosh it will really drives me nuts i guess. goodluck ross lol

3 kids not 4:yikes::yikes::D maybe we wnt more :icon_lol::icon_lol::Erm::furious3::cwm23::omg::omg::D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::crazy:

[Ross]

you guys thinking of getting a nanny?
wow! 1 month and 10months old?

cant afford lol if wre in ph maybe :yikes::yikes::D:D ye still husband dont like other to look after the kids :doh:doh:NoNo::icon_lol::yikes::Erm::xxaction-smiley-047:Help1::Cuckoo::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Ross]

you guys thinking of getting a nanny?
wow! 1 month and 10months old?

cant afford lol if wre in ph maybe :yikes::yikes::D:D ye still husband dont like other to look after the kids :doh:doh:NoNo::icon_lol::yikes::Erm::xxaction-smiley-047:Help1::Cuckoo::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Ross]

That's cos she loves me too much :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

seems your not obviously vocal about husban feeling eh??:D:D:omg::omg::icon_lol::Cuckoo::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[complex]

sorry have to correct you we have 3 kids one months and 10 months is the age of our youngest lol


i think u meant 1 yr and 10 months is the age of the youngest?

[malditako]

3 kids not 4:yikes::yikes::D maybe we wnt more :icon_lol::icon_lol::Erm::furious3::cwm23::omg::omg::D:D:D:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::crazy:

sorry i have overlooked thought they are ages 1 year and another 10 months old....hahaha where s my comprehension gone?::doh:omg:

[purple]

Hi Ross,

I like babies and it can be a challenge. But as a single mum I have learned a lot from my mother that it is very easy to look after the little ones. Just keep milk in the fridge, lots of them.. good to last for 24 hours and if the baby moves then just give the bottle and it should soothe the baby fine. If baby is teething, then chilled milk is best as it takes away the pain, still if is not going to work, give the baby a little bit of iced water. Yes water and milk, rub the baby's back as well they like it, or a little massage on their feet and the end of finger nails. Talk to them too in a nice and firm way, the little angels these days are so smart that they can truly understand you if you speak to them.
And if you are not getting sleep, if baby is awake play with the baby until he/she gets tired (sure you will be tired too) then catch some sleep. The sleeping patterns will adjust in time. first 3 months is every 2 hours, and the next few months will be more. It is a matter of mind set and looking at your little ones angelic face and smile should take your worries away.

[mistermatty]

That's cos she loves me too much :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Or your money ha ha

[stevewool]

think your self lucky i am 1 of 13 kids so whats 3 :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: you dont know youve been born:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[sparky]

seems your not obviously vocal about husban feeling eh??:D:D:omg::omg::icon_lol::Cuckoo::xxgrinning--00xx3:
Love her to bits mate :xxgrinning--00xx3:
If you have read any of my many tedious posts :rolleyes: that would be apparent


Apo- our ladies sound similar - I just hope that Myrna beds in :D as well and is as happy in a few months time

[Ross]

Love her to bits mate :xxgrinning--00xx3:
If you have read any of my many tedious posts :rolleyes: that would be apparent


Apo- our ladies sound similar - I just hope that Myrna beds in :D as well and is as happy in a few months time

:D:D:heartshape1::do_it::):xxgrinning--00xx3: lucky all the wife here then wish everbody feels the way you do mate which is i think they are :yikes::icon_sorry::xxgrinning--00xx3::heartshape1:

[Ross]

Hi Ross,

I like babies and it can be a challenge. But as a single mum I have learned a lot from my mother that it is very easy to look after the little ones. Just keep milk in the fridge, lots of them.. good to last for 24 hours and if the baby moves then just give the bottle and it should soothe the baby fine. If baby is teething, then chilled milk is best as it takes away the pain, still if is not going to work, give the baby a little bit of iced water. Yes water and milk, rub the baby's back as well they like it, or a little massage on their feet and the end of finger nails. Talk to them too in a nice and firm way, the little angels these days are so smart that they can truly understand you if you speak to them.
And if you are not getting sleep, if baby is awake play with the baby until he/she gets tired (sure you will be tired too) then catch some sleep. The sleeping patterns will adjust in time. first 3 months is every 2 hours, and the next few months will be more. It is a matter of mind set and looking at your little ones angelic face and smile should take your worries away.

thank for the advice:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: ive been been with kids for almost 7 years now :D:D:cwm24::icon_lol:

[somebody]

Shy she is not mate , every time i saw her she would be pretty vocal and shout " Matt wheres Martin " :icon_lol:

You cant always gurantee a confident outgoing person in one situation will be a confident one in another.

Friends of the wifes who I have known in phill and Uk for example some are now air hostess/ who fly in regularly to the UK others care workers or workers on boats. The person in phill is not what you see when in the UK I have noticed on many occasions.

The Wife has commented for at least 50 percent of them have changed dramtically from what she and other friends remeber.

Moving a person in to another enviroment and culture can have a very dramtic impact.

Luckily we kept the texts, im's emails and photos and videos thoughout our realtionship and the change in the wife has been huge as you could belive.
How much is due to age/experince and to enviroment is hard to say.

[aposhark]

You cant always gurantee a confident outgoing person in one situation will be a confident one in another.

Friends of the wifes who I have known in phill and Uk for example some are now air hostess/ who fly in regularly to the UK others care workers or workers on boats. The person in phill is not what you see when in the UK I have noticed on many occasions.

The Wife has commented for at least 50 percent of them have changed dramtically from what she and other friends remeber.

Moving a person in to another enviroment and culture can have a very dramtic impact.

Luckily we kept the texts, im's emails and photos and videos thoughout our realtionship and the change in the wife has been huge as you could belive.
How much is due to age/experince and to enviroment is hard to say.

Yes, I have also taken videos of my wife since we first met.
It is hard for me to say that she has changed in every way, as we have both changed towards each other at the same time.
Her English is constantly improving, but I think I am a lucky man in that I think she is just as loving now compared to the time we first fell in love.
Her Filipina ways are just as alluring to me now as before :heartshape1::xxgrinning--00xx3:
Westerners in Phils told me Filipinas change for the worst when they have been in the "west", but I don't think my wife has.

[KeithD]

Yes, I have also taken videos of my wife since we first met.


:do_it: :omg: