prenuptials

[stevewool]

hello just asking what others have done or are thinking if they should make some sort of agreement, yes i am getting married and yes i love her too, but after a messy divorce i am not prepared to go throught that again, we have spoken and she does not want anything , i trust her , but to be wise i am sure i must make some sort of agreement between us , like i said just asking others opinion thanks :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[James Hubbard]

Hmm

Having not been divorced, (my wife is my first - and only :D) ... I don't have the experience that you have ... so please just take my thoughts with a pinch of salt ....

and also ... many of the guys here who have been divorced before can give you a perspective ... but ....

I think that if you get a prenup, that you are kind of suggesting that the marriage will be weak and will possibly fail. I feel that it shows a lack of confidence in your nuptials.

That's my tuppence.

But if you didn't already, please read the bit above - not in bold :)




James "Nuptial Agro-ment" Hub-star.

[James Hubbard]

double post... grrr ... cheap computer!


James "Nuptial Agro-ment" Hub-star.

[stevewool]

no james you have me wrong , i have 5 kids from my marrige i have to look after there intrest too, i have no doupt in my mind emma and i will have a great life but like life there are no garantees,

[James Hubbard]

no james you have me wrong , i have 5 kids from my marrige i have to look after there intrest too, i have no doupt in my mind emma and i will have a great life but like life there are no garantees,

As I say, take my advice with a big pinch of salt. You have more experience than me :) :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[-sillybilly-]

Hi Steve I understand what you've been through.

With my situation, he was divorce and i was annulled but before our wedding we didnt have the prenuptial party and agreement.

We are prepared to whats going to happened ahead of us but we feel that were strong enough to get through it once again and we'll work everything out and fix whatever needs to be fixed.

My husband didnt wonna make such agreement although his ex-wife was a pain during the divorce but he wants to take the risk and not to offend me.

He said he loves me unconditionally.
Thats all that matters.

[James Hubbard]

He said he loves me unconditionally.
Thats all that matters.
:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[-sillybilly-]

:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

What do you think of this?

he said he loves me unconditionally...but last night he just send me text saying " i dont want you moaning about work as you are very lucky that your old boss still wants you back!" :cwm23::xxaction-smiley-047

Yeah i do moan but its all about work stuff!! :doh:crazy:

[James Hubbard]

hey ... i understand this ...

the guy loves you unconditionally, but ... it doesn't mean he'll always be nice :) he's just human.

'Reese, I am thinking, the main thing about his situation right now is his work. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now, since the company he's been working for told him that he won't have a job anymore :( ... not good.

I hope he has some savings for u and him to enjoy when you are here, otherwise, it'll be lots of stress to find a new job!

So the way i see it ... he's stressed about the situation :)

[-sillybilly-]

hey ... i understand this ...

the guy loves you unconditionally, but ... it doesn't mean he'll always be nice :) he's just human.

'Reese, I am thinking, the main thing about his situation right now is his work. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now, since the company he's been working for told him that he won't have a job anymore :( ... not good.

I hope he has some savings for u and him to enjoy when you are here, otherwise, it'll be lots of stress to find a new job!

So the way i see it ... he's stressed about the situation :)

I understand James...yesterday he kept saying hes not okay as the company have just got 3 managers sacked so hes waiting to hear from them. If he gets the sacked then hes going to take the legal action.

But before the wedding we decided not to make any agreement but we be helping each other.

[James Hubbard]

Yes ...

and if he does lose his job - even if he's taking legal action... in fact, especially if he's taking legal action ...

he'll need you to be supporting him ... coz it can be very bad emotionally!

[bornatbirth]

why not be fair to your wife and kids, surely you want both to be looked after :Erm:

[johncar54]

I understand that in UK, providing a judge says something to the effect that he has taken the pre nuptial agreement into consideration he can then totally ignore it.

We did make a pre nuptial in Manila, but in Spain, where we live, I understand that the laws says that assets one possesses at the time of marriage do not become joint. Only assets acquired after marriage can be claimed upon.

[stevewool]

thanks for taking the time to write all, well clarice good days bad days we all have them , its understanding each other, and maybe the problem is not with each other but from outside, i know my life is with emma and she will never be without , thanks johncar54 for the comment , i dont want to put my mind at rest , i know what i want to do , and yes you still hear horror storys ,

[malditako]

nothing wrong about getting prenuptials...for sure emma would understand its for the betterment of both parties i guess..if im in your shoe (with kids to think of) i would do the same :)

[rani]

best wishes to you and emma!

anyways, i think its just fair for your kids and emma to have a sort of an agreement about your assets etc... all of us has a different views about this but lets be realistic, everybody also is expecting something from their parents especially if there's something to be expected of... so to put everything in order and everybody at peace, pre nup is the best thing to do.

its not a matter of trusting or loving someone.. its just to avoid any conflicts that may arise between both parties...

talk about this with emma and i'm pretty sure that she will understand.. u may ask her opinion or suggestions if needed... good luck steve! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[sars_notd_virus]

hello just asking what others have done or are thinking if they should make some sort of agreement, yes i am getting married and yes i love her too, but after a messy divorce i am not prepared to go throught that again, we have spoken and she does not want anything , i trust her , but to be wise i am sure i must make some sort of agreement between us , like i said just asking others opinion thanks :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I think if you and emma agreed on (prenuptial) there will be no problem at all.....but heres the pros and cons and hope it helps.

Pros and Cons: Premarital Agreements ("Prenuptials").
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PROS
•A premarital agreement can protect the inheritance rights of children and grandchildren from a previous marriage.
•If you have your own business or professional practice, a premarital agreement can protect that interest so that the business or practice is not divided and subject to the control or involvement of your former spouse upon divorce.
•If one spouse has significantly more debt than the other, a premarital agreement can protect the debt-free spouse from having to assume the obligations of the other.
•If you plan to give up a lucrative career after the marriage, a premarital agreement can ensure that you will be compensated for that sacrifice if the marriage does not last.
•A premarital agreement can address more than the financial aspects of marriage, and can cover any of the details of decision-making and responsibility sharing to which the parties agree in advance.
•A premarital agreement can limit the amount of spousal support that one spouse will have to pay the other upon divorce.
•A premarital agreement can protect the financial interests of older persons, persons who are entering into second or subsequent marriages, and persons with substantial wealth.
CONS
•The agreement may require you to give up your right to inherit from your spouse's estate when he or she dies. Under the law, you are entitled to a portion of the estate even if your spouse does not include such a provision in his or her will.
•If you contribute to the continuing success and growth of your spouse's business or professional practice by entertaining clients and taking care of the home, etc., thus allowing him or her to focus on professional endeavors, you may not be entitled to claim a share of the increase in value if you agree otherwise in a premarital agreement. Under the laws of many states, this increase in value would be considered divisible marital property.
•Starting a relationship with a contract that sets forth the particulars of what will happen upon death or divorce can engender a sense of lack of trust.
•As mentioned above, a contract can take the wind out of your emotional sails.
•It can be difficult to project into the future about how potential issues should be handled, and what may seem like an inconsequential compromise in the romantic premarital period may seem more monumental and burdensome in reality.
•A low- or non-wage-earning spouse may not be able to sustain the lifestyle to which he or she has become accustomed during the marriage if the agreement substantially limits the amount of spousal support to which that spouse is entitled.
•In the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, one spouse may agree to terms that are not in his or her best interests because he or she is "too in love" to be concerned about the financial aspects and can't imagine the union coming to an untimely end.

[johncar54]

Sars you don't say where your extract applies to,

I understand that in UK, providing a judge says something to the effect that he has taken the pre nuptial agreement into consideration he can then totally ignore it.

[sars_notd_virus]

Sars you don't say where your extract applies to,

I understand that in UK, providing a judge says something to the effect that he has taken the pre nuptial agreement into consideration he can then totally ignore it.

dunno john:Erm:

[johncar54]

dunno john:Erm:

It appears to come from:-


http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/marriage-agreements/prenup-pros-cons.html

Santa Clara County, San Jose. CA USA.

Thus it would seem 'a little out of place' in this forum.

[stem298]

hi babe, just to say whats yours is yours for now:icon_lol:enjoy it soon be ours :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[rani]

very well said emma :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[sars_notd_virus]

Thnx johncar54, i was just giving a heads up, I am not a lawyer so for some one to present a prenuptual on the basis of this thread would be unwise, then again they could allways use the liar liar pants on fire theory that some would suggest others use ? .....which reminds me I must find more time to scrutinize everyones thread.....

[beppe]

I am not familiar with family laws in UK but I am aware that in certain countries the prenuptial agreement is limited over a period of time, plus in certain countries the wife, despite of any agreement is entitled of a "legitimated portion" of your estate/assets.
Even with a prenupt agreement, a judge may overturn it. I give you an example, a man, married with a prenupt fell seriously ill and the wife spent years of her life to look after him. After his death the wife took the case to court and the judge ruled in her favor for some compensation.
There is not a clear cut in between.

For some, this may suggest some sort of distrust or lack of confidence on your spouse.

I would say a family lawyer can offer the best advise for your case.