Joke

[fontain]

Baby seal walked in to a club

[eljean]

:Erm:

[aromulus]

:d :d :d

[walesrob]

:NoNo:

[tiger@tigress]

:Erm: :Erm:

[joebloggs]

that's a classic, Keith will be putting it in his scouse book of jokes:action-smiley-081:

a couple more for him

Two men walked into a bar.

You would think at least one of them would have ducked. :Brick:

:NoNo:


An old man walked into a bar and ordered 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asked, "What's the matter?"
The old man said, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the old same man came in and ordered 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asked, "What's wrong this time?"
The old man said, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same old man came in the bar and ordered 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asked, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
The man looked up and said, "Apparently my wife does." :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mach]

:icon_lol:

[fred]

Saddams cat.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i316/glennmac7/ATT12649.gif

[fred]

http://www.rivingtonbarn.com/files/thepercent20factspercent20ofpercent20life_267.jpg

[fred]

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o162/col748/SpermPassedTonsils1.jpg

[fred]

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said

"I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".

The wife thought for a few moments, and then said ,



"Your cock's bigger than your brother's.

[fred]

Crime at John lennon airport.


http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/9819/liverpool02zf4.jpg

[fred]

The suspects.

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/9303/liverpool06ql0.jpg

[fred]

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, you ********?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!"

[fred]

http://www.g3l.com/b3ta/olympiclogo.gif

[aromulus]

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:


Keep 'em coming............
:icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[fred]

This morning on the way to work I rear-ended a car at some lights, whilst
not really paying attention.

Anyway the fella who was driving got out... And he was a dwarf!!!!

He said "I'm not happy"........

I said "Well which one are you then?"

[fred]

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/1008/luluseq9.gif

[eljean]

nice one!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[fred]

http://www.flateric.biz/downloads/jobcandidate.jpg

[fred]

http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/8227/image001xe6.jpg

[fred]

http://www.flateric.biz/downloads/swimsuit.jpg

[fred]

http://www.flateric.biz/downloads/whathehad.jpg

[fred]

Right..Thats your lot for today..
If I made you giggle..Where the hell are my rep points??

[tiger@tigress]

:icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

[eljean]

:laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher: :laugher:

[fred]

http://www.flateric.biz/downloads/love.bmp

[fred]

http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/image2/RobotSexPic.JPG

[fred]

What does an agnostic dyslexic insomniac do?

stays up all night, wondering if there's a dog

[Peanutz]

What does an agnostic dyslexic insomniac do?

stays up all night, wondering if there's a dog


I thought they stays up all night counting the sheeps:omg::D:Bouncy:

[fred]

A man goes into a hardware store and asks for the price of 4"x2"(inch) timber...The assistant says I`m sorry but under the new EEC regs, we are no longer allowed to call it 4"x2"...but 100x50mm`s....ok,ok, says the man, how much is the 100x50mm timber then....the assistant replies...£1.00 a foot.

[fred]

http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/9192/bushcondilovestorylj0.jpg

[fred]

http://www.soldcentralfl.com/flyingpenguin/stupid/gf_remote.jpg

[fred]

A scouser walks into the local dole office, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really
rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your
clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her
sexual urges.
You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The
starting salary is £200,000 a year plus a generous pension scheme"


The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bull****tin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it

[fred]

http://www.halfthedeck.com/images/Beer%20Troubleshooting.gif

[fred]

Removed..A bit out of order!!

[fred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABqh9N-Mw5E

[fred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWn8Dn-B9ZA

[fred]

She is in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

He walks in.

She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me this very Moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to making breakfast

More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?


She: "The egg timer's broken."

He: "Bitch, you know I don't like my eggs soft boiled !"

[fred]

What more can you say

A Somali arrives in London as a new immigrant to England. He stops
The first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. English man for letting me in this country, giving me free housing, free food stamps, free medical care, free education and all wonderful social monetary benefits!"
The passer-by says, "You are mistaken, I am polish."
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for
having such a beautiful country here in England!"
The person says, "I not English, I am from Croatia."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful England!"
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Iran, I am not
English!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an English?"
She says, "No, I am from Iraq!"
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the English people?"
The Iraq lady checks her watch and says...
"Probably at work."

[fred]

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/6128/nunsxu4.jpg

[fred]

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w70/grazer23/valentine12qj.jpg

[fred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBr98Nji-mA

[fred]

smoking kills (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7vSYKp8vI)

[fred]

A Pepsi please..Or I`ll break your fingers. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt5AE7cozTM)

[ervenescence]

oi..somebodys bored :D

btw, those nun's photo is funny :icon_lol:

[Alan]

Wonderful collection Fred. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Here's my small contribution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQJj0tKECrk

Al.:)

[fred]

Thanks Al..
Its about time someone gave me a hand!!

This frog is HARD!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pCLDVvUoAE

[fred]

Want one of these?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRzaWfaeAHQ

[fred]

How to get a man to wash his hands.

http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/966/howtogetamantowashhishagr2.jpg

[Bridget]

simply, get tap on and wash his hands with soap and water. Nice picture. I wonder where on earth could find that comfort room. Have you been there?

[fred]

simply, get tap on and wash his hands with soap and water.

You have obviously never visited a gents in the pig n whistle.


Have you been there?I wish!!