how to manage the bad temper of your partner???

[bher]

how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?... better to tell whats wrong or just be quiet?...

[raynaputi]

you definitely need to tell him/her what's wrong..every relationship, especially LDRs, depends on having good communication too aside from being in love..issues will immediately resolved if u talked about it right away. ;)

[kalabasa]

how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?... better to tell whats wrong or just be quiet?...

Loads of patience and think the outcome if you both burst with temper and anger :cwm23::cwm23::cwm24:
being quite wont help but sometimes it good as to let the temp slow down :rolleyes:

[bher]

you definitely need to tell him/her what's wrong..every relationship, especially LDRs, depends on having good communication too aside from being in love..issues will immediately resolved if u talked about it right away. ;)

thats one thing that i don't like bout my husband' he admit that he have bad temper and not much patience with little things... we r opposite! sometimes we talk bout certain issues between us then there are arguements which is normal ofcourse' then i will jst keep quiet, then aftr few mins everything will be ok again' its like nothing happend..

[bher]

Loads of patience and think the outcome if you both burst with temper and anger :cwm23::cwm23::cwm24:
being quite wont help but sometimes it good as to let the temp slow down :rolleyes:

with the 3 yrs relationship we have i know i am the one who have lots of petience.. even if im younger than him.. i agree with you' sometimes it doesn't help but sometimes it is.. but most of the time when there is something wrong' he raise his voice and got mad without much reason i prefer to be quiet and not talk totally esp when his here... less talk, less arguements...

[raynaputi]

but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?

[bher]

but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?

when im quiet he knows theres something wrong.. but sometimes he is not bothered to make a move, jst want me to do the first.. and when he raise his voice i tell him don't do that bcoz it scares me, and he listen.. it jst sometimes he forget and i accept that! we cnt blame ourselves sometimes esp when we r upset or annoyed it shows in our voice and actions.. hes still my husband we have differences and we have to accept that even if its good or bad... thank's rayna...

[KeithD]

It helps if both partners are dumb :xxgrinning--00xx3: :Erm:

[bher]

It helps if both partners are dumb :xxgrinning--00xx3: :Erm:

hahahaha,u enlighten me boss lol...:icon_lol::doh

[sars_notd_virus]

how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?...

Man always wants to be right!!!!

so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper:D:Rasp:

[kalabasa]

with the 3 yrs relationship we have i know i am the one who have lots of petience.. even if im younger than him.. i agree with you' sometimes it doesn't help but sometimes it is.. but most of the time when there is something wrong' he raise his voice and got mad without much reason i prefer to be quiet and not talk totally esp when his here... less talk, less arguements...

no matter what age gap we have with our partner the temper.bad feelings anger does arise:rolleyes: but be strong rem we only lives ones so :Rasp: do not take it seriously just rem everyone is going through this stages of being married. :D:cwm24::D

[kalabasa]

but if u wont tell him u have issues regarding him always raising his voice, he would think this is okay and u accept this kind of behavior, which in fact, u don't..yes, less talk less argument..but don't u think your feelings about this wouldn't bottle up in the process? I mean would u not be bothered by him raising his voice if he'll have another bad temper later?

everybody i think has got that but depends on the couple how she/he gonna cope with that but does not mean you are taking all his temper and just be quite :NoNo:

[rani]

just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha :olddude: then its vengeance time :xxaction-smiley-047 :icon_lol:

[kalabasa]

Man always wants to be right!!!!

so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper:D:Rasp:

well said sars :xxgrinning--00xx3: and the more you tease the more:do_it::D the merrier :)

[kalabasa]

just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha :olddude: then its vengeance time :xxaction-smiley-047 :icon_lol:

dont ignore it count every minutes and everyhour his bad temper arises and at the end of the day give him a nice warm cup of tea to remind his a very loving husband in anyway he acts:hubbahubba:

[triple5]

I used to have a partner with a short temper, and it just brought out the worst in me. If somebody raises their voice to me I can get quite :cwm23: which isn't really in my nature :innocent1: I read somewhere that bad tempers stem from past troubles and there's not a lot you can do to change that in somebody... so i eventually left her :rolleyes:

[somebody]

Hi Bher you will find a lot of Western people are far far less mature with their social skills compared to many Phills. Your Mahal has to confront the reasons why he has this bad mood. If you are to be together in the UK and your alone in the UK you need a husband who can be patient with you during what maybe hard times on occasions.

A lot of the stress maybe due to being apart which is very hard, but if its an ongoing thing then he should really look into the roots causes and how he can learn to try and handle his temper.

[RickyR]

Hi Bher you will find a lot of Western people are far far less mature with their social skills compared to many Phills.

What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.

I'd suggest it could be one of two things; firstly it could be a cultural thing, Western people tend to be more vocal about how they feel about something, we don't have the same 'loss of face' that you may be accustomed to. If it's this situation, it really is just a slight raising of the voice and expressing a bit of annoyance at something. For westerners we find this very easy, because if someone is vocal at least we understand that there is a problem, and then on the same note it is unacceptable to sulk and keep a grudge. It's a case of saying what you want to say, and that being the end of it. When this is the situation, it does take a little bit of adjustment with both parties. Westerners living in the Philippines, tend to resign themselves to accepting when something is wrong, because it can be difficult in the culture here to express your annoyance and dissapointment without offending (thats a cultural adjustment).
So, what i'm saying if this is the case, talk about it and try to understand it from both peoples side.

Now if its something more aggressive, where the person actually has an anger management problem, and it concerns your safety and wellbeing or you feel it's an unacceptable environment for your children then i'd highly recommend professional advice.
There is support for you in this situation; http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anger-management/Pages/Introduction.aspx . Seriously, if your situation is this one, and not the first that I said, then deal with it straight away, because it will only progress and get worse.

[KeithD]

What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.
He did say 'a lot' which would mean thses days folk under the age of 25 whose only real world talking skills are via the web. If you spend sometime with this age group you'd soon realise they can't grasp certain parts of conversations, plus they have a shorted attention span than those above 25. Seen it all with my own eyes over the years, and research backs it up.

[bher]

Man always wants to be right!!!!

so just tease him and say his abs looks even more sexier when he is on bad temper:D:Rasp:

sars, same as women.. we want everthing to be right.. he has a little tummy, so he doesn't have abs lol...:icon_lol:

[bher]

no matter what age gap we have with our partner the temper.bad feelings anger does arise:rolleyes: but be strong rem we only lives ones so :Rasp: do not take it seriously just rem everyone is going through this stages of being married. :D:cwm24::D

i guess wat ever age both in a relationship there are really differences esp us its the culture... me even if its jst a light arguement i take it seriously and then i get emotional... bernadette are u also very emotional person?..

[bher]

everybody i think has got that but depends on the couple how she/he gonna cope with that but does not mean you are taking all his temper and just be quite :NoNo:

im not taking all his temper.. sometimes wen its non sense im jst ignoring him and likes nothing is happening.. lol:Rasp:

[bher]

just ignore, leave him and go to a quiet place... talk to him at bedtime and tell him how you really feel about it.. but never do the "head on" coz it wont do any good... maybe when he's more older then he will slow down.. hahaha :olddude: then its vengeance time :xxaction-smiley-047 :icon_lol:

te rani yeah sometimes i jst ignore and i will be quiet but i wont leave... that wont help for us.. i jst wanna share this' sometimes wen we r having arguements wen we go to bed we don't really talk much.. and i don't say good night and wont kiss him.. im also doing that everytime im upset and mad.. then nxt day we r stil not talking but i make sure i'll make him a tea and food.. then one of us will start the conversation, say wat was the problem and fix it..

[bher]

well said sars :xxgrinning--00xx3: and the more you tease the more:do_it::D the merrier :)

sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make:do_it: while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!

[triple5]

sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make:do_it: while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!

Isn't that called "making up" :Erm:

[rani]

te rani yeah sometimes i jst ignore and i will be quiet but i wont leave... that wont help for us.. i jst wanna share this' sometimes wen we r having arguements wen we go to bed we don't really talk much.. and i don't say good night and wont kiss him.. im also doing that everytime im upset and mad.. then nxt day we r stil not talking but i make sure i'll make him a tea and food.. then one of us will start the conversation, say wat was the problem and fix it..


its hard for me to sleep without solving the issue with my partner... i am a crying lady and i always cry whenever i feel bad :bigcry:

anyways, hope that everything will go on smoothly between the two of you... :heartshape1:

[bher]

I used to have a partner with a short temper, and it just brought out the worst in me. If somebody raises their voice to me I can get quite :cwm23: which isn't really in my nature :innocent1: I read somewhere that bad tempers stem from past troubles and there's not a lot you can do to change that in somebody... so i eventually left her :rolleyes:

triple5, me since i meet my husband until now i was amazed that my patience improved.. i am not like this b4, i don't have patience with everything esp with other people but now i married my husband i started to realized that being patience is also one key to have a happy and long lasting married life... now i know and i can say that my husband is very lucky to have ME...:Jump:

[triple5]

You've got more patience than me :xxgrinning--00xx3: I wasn't married to the lady with the bad temper. We lived together, and I never knew which person I was going to wake up next to in the morning - the one who would flip out at the slightest little thing, or the sweet one who was fun to be around. She had a lot of problems - past and present - so the mood swings were understandable I guess. It was just treading on egg shells wasn't for me anymore.

[bher]

What a stupid comment!!!! It's nothing to do with making a ridiculous stereotype of westeners maturity.

I'd suggest it could be one of two things; firstly it could be a cultural thing, Western people tend to be more vocal about how they feel about something, we don't have the same 'loss of face' that you may be accustomed to. If it's this situation, it really is just a slight raising of the voice and expressing a bit of annoyance at something. For westerners we find this very easy, because if someone is vocal at least we understand that there is a problem, and then on the same note it is unacceptable to sulk and keep a grudge. It's a case of saying what you want to say, and that being the end of it. When this is the situation, it does take a little bit of adjustment with both parties. Westerners living in the Philippines, tend to resign themselves to accepting when something is wrong, because it can be difficult in the culture here to express your annoyance and dissapointment without offending (thats a cultural adjustment).
So, what i'm saying if this is the case, talk about it and try to understand it from both peoples side.

Now if its something more aggressive, where the person actually has an anger management problem, and it concerns your safety and wellbeing or you feel it's an unacceptable environment for your children then i'd highly recommend professional advice.
There is support for you in this situation; http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/anger-management/Pages/Introduction.aspx . Seriously, if your situation is this one, and not the first that I said, then deal with it straight away, because it will only progress and get worse.


yes ricky i agree with you.. husband also told me that westerners are more vocal and frank with other people.. they will say everything they want esp wen they are mad/upset.. most asian are not really used to it and i find it a bit difficult atfirst esp for me.. most of the arguements we r having are more on cultural difference and thats normal with us and with other couple who are different nationalities,a bit hard work and difficult to absorb in a while but ofcourse we need to know wat point of views the couple have regarding that differences... thank's ricky...

[bher]

Isn't that called "making up" :Erm:

i mean can they make L:Sex: while there is a problem?...

[bher]

[QUOTE=rani;245185]its hard for me to sleep without solving the issue with my partner... i am a crying lady and i always cry whenever i feel bad :bigcry:

anyways, hope that everything will go on smoothly between the two of you... :heartshape1:[/QUOTE

not easy to sleep while there is a problem behind but sometimes we cnt stop our pride... i am also crying lady te rani' i always cry infront of him.. im jst too emotional... then he will tell me to stop crying and give me a big hug and a nice kiss... were ok te, jst had a little tampo lst night to him... thank you te rani...

[kalabasa]

i guess wat ever age both in a relationship there are really differences esp us its the culture... me even if its jst a light arguement i take it seriously and then i get emotional... bernadette are u also very emotional person?..

oh yes i used to be that ..:D but the more emotion u put into things the more you get weaker :rolleyes: but instead use your emotion to learn something new and it will lead you to be more mature and tough to when trouble comes you could stand in your own and not to be hurt that much :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kalabasa]

sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make:do_it: while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!

of cousre why not do that evrytime to release the bad feelings it helps..:D:rolleyes:

[bher]

You've got more patience than me :xxgrinning--00xx3: I wasn't married to the lady with the bad temper. We lived together, and I never knew which person I was going to wake up next to in the morning - the one who would flip out at the slightest little thing, or the sweet one who was fun to be around. She had a lot of problems - past and present - so the mood swings were understandable I guess. It was just treading on egg shells wasn't for me anymore.

atleast u realized that early and didn't marry her... no one wants to wake up in the morning with a partner that doesn't even say good morning. or iloveyou.. and early in the morning telling u problems nagging and giving you hard time...:NoNo:

[RickyR]

This is good, from what you've said bher it sounds like you have a good relationship and are just adjusting to each other. Being vocal and upfront about the problems can make them much easier to solve and prevent the other person feeling like your keeping something from them. Having a bit of tampo is ok sometimes, but that is also something that western people are not used to and find difficulty dealing with until they learn how to resolve that. Our instict with a wife that has tampo is to walk away and let her cool off, which is probably the wrong resolve in most situations.
Be strong in your relationship, and keep working through the cultural difference's, bring yourself together to create your own way of life and understanding which works for both of you.

[bher]

oh yes i used to be that ..:D but the more emotion u put into things the more you get weaker :rolleyes: but instead use your emotion to learn something new and it will lead you to be more mature and tough to when trouble comes you could stand in your own and not to be hurt that much :xxgrinning--00xx3:

i wish its jst easy to control the emotion dette.. but for sure sooner or later i will learn how to manage my emotions and be mature and stop being crying baby lol.. thats wat my mister call me everytime im crying.. thank you dette..

[Dedworth]

How about a strong dose of tampo ?

[bher]

of cousre why not do that evrytime to release the bad feelings it helps..:D:rolleyes:

haven't try that yet... hahahha, is that still feel comfortable even if there is a bad feelings?.... :icon_lol:

[bher]

This is good, from what you've said bher it sounds like you have a good relationship and are just adjusting to each other. Being vocal and upfront about the problems can make them much easier to solve and prevent the other person feeling like your keeping something from them. Having a bit of tampo is ok sometimes, but that is also something that western people are not used to and find difficulty dealing with until they learn how to resolve that. Our instict with a wife that has tampo is to walk away and let her cool off, which is probably the wrong resolve in most situations.
Be strong in your relationship, and keep working through the cultural difference's, bring yourself together to create your own way of life and understanding which works for both of you.

yes it is ricky, well we all know that temper with couples are normal and good thing we that, its giving the marriage a little spice and thrill which is more exciting right?... now my husband and i trying to keep everything in balance and make sure that even if we are 7,000 miles apart we tells wats happening, wats the problem and keep our LOVE and marriage strong, meaningful and healthy... lot of thank's ricky...:Wave:

[bher]

How about a strong dose of tampo ?

it depends upon the situation dedworth...

[nigel]

Anger is negative energy it can attract bad things to you...perhaps make you ill...

[KeithD]

...and you couldn't get more mentally ill than Angry Nigel :D

[stevewool]

best way to is to blow a raspberry at them :Rasp::Rasp:, that breaks the ice most times or your nose :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[junior02]

Hi Bher you will find a lot of Western people are far far less mature with their social skills compared to many Phills. Your Mahal has to confront the reasons why he has this bad mood. If you are to be together in the UK and your alone in the UK you need a husband who can be patient with you during what maybe hard times on occasions.

A lot of the stress maybe due to being apart which is very hard, but if its an ongoing thing then he should really look into the roots causes and how he can learn to try and handle his temper.

i personly think its the other way round from my own experiances regarding the first line of your post, a lot of filipinas are more hot headed and agressive than english women, and are drama queens with crocodile tears, same as some spanish and italian women..

[kalabasa]

sars & dette- wen husband/wife is mad can they stil make:do_it: while there is a problem?... jst asking!!!

why not :) rem life is for living:cwm24::D

[stevewool]

and for loving too , sometimes its the built up fustration that may be a little part of the problem as long as both of yu are willing then :do_it::do_it::hubbahubba:

[kalabasa]

i personly think its the other way round from my own experiances regarding the first line of your post, a lot of filipinas are more hot headed and agressive than english women, and are drama queens with crocodile tears, same as some spanish and italian women..
it is because english woman use to be so very independent at there very young age but regardless of that filifinas women are more tougher and value life itlsef and marriage than european classy mind numbing crap women :D

[junior02]

it is because english woman use to be so very independent at there very young age but regardless of that filifinas women are more tougher and value life itlsef and marriage than european classy mind numbing crap women :D

thats not a very nice thing to say about european women, sounds like you have got a very big chip on your shoulder..

[kalabasa]

[QUOTE=stevewool;245298]and for loving too , sometimes its the built up fustration that may be a little part of the problem as long as both of yu are willing then :do_it::do_it::hubbahubba:[/QUOTand sometimes if one is not willing..:D pretend you ache your teeth badly and you need a brandy to sooth the aching :)

[kalabasa]

thats not a very nice thing to say about european women, sounds like you have got a very big chip on your shoulder..

oh not at all..women all over the globe or anywhere could be like that:D but you pinpoiting about lots of filipina women are agrresive and hot headede same as europen in such a manner could be the same :Rasp:

[Arthur Little]

how you manage the bad temper of your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance?

Hmm ... guess I'M very lucky with the woman I married. As for living with ME ... well ... reckon you'd need to ask Myrna! :icon_lol:

[bher]

Anger is negative energy it can attract bad things to you...perhaps make you ill...

i know that nigel but sometimes we cnt really control our temper... and if we dont try to stop that ringkles will start to come out and that will make us look ugly.. lol... thank's for the comment...

[bher]

why not :) rem life is for living:cwm24::D

ooh definitely it is... i must try that when husband come here, lol...:icon_lol:

[bher]

and for loving too , sometimes its the built up fustration that may be a little part of the problem as long as both of yu are willing then :do_it::do_it::hubbahubba:

thank's steve... that will be a experience' :do_it::Sex: while there is a problem... sounds interesting lol..:Jump:

[bher]

aaaww, happy for you sir arthur... and for sure ate myrna is also lucky to have you as her husband... it will be nice to talk to her with that matter...

[bher]

oh not at all..women all over the globe or anywhere could be like that:D but you pinpoiting about lots of filipina women are agrresive and hot headede same as europen in such a manner could be the same :Rasp:

we know that women all over the world are different esp wen it comes to culture and how each person grew with different countries... they say women are all emotional with their feeling wat ever nationalities/culture they have its nature to be like that.. being hard headed, hot temper and aggressive well i guess that depends to the person... weather european or filipina.....:):):)