Really, really down and depressed

[Languish]

I have just returned from a wonderful 7 night stay in the Philippines with my gorgeous girlfriend back to this cold, crappy country and i am VERY down. I quite literally don't know what to do with myself and pretty much just want to get the next available flight back out there! Arghhhhh! :(

[Steve.r]

Well, you are amoungst friends who feel exactly the same as you Mark. It is so painful retuning on that flight back, and then yo get off the plane in the Uk you feel cold depressed and wonder why you ever got on that plane back again.
Even though we can talk and see our wive's or girlfriends on yahoo or MSN, there is nothing like being able to touch and kiss and hold her hand. I miss everything about mahal.
Roll on our next visits, be strong buddy. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[subseastu]

Its hard mate I know, most have us have been in your situation. Does she have access to sykpe? THe old video call really helps atleast you can see each other. Helps the wife and me when I'm at work for 5-6 weeks at a time. Other than that just keep calling her as often as funds allow.

When do you think you'll be able to go back out?

[Sim11UK]

Well first things first, you signed back in to the forum which is a start...You are amongst friends, who mostly know exactly what you are going through.
I've always found it comforting on here, helps to keep it all alive...just get online to your gf, as much as you can, why not get her to sign up here?

I think we could easily fill a plane, with all those who would like to go back right now.
Keep smiling & start planning the next trip. :)

[Sim11UK]

Well, you are amoungst friends who feel exactly the same as you Mark. It is so painful retuning on that flight back, and then yo get off the plane in the Uk you feel cold depressed and wonder why you ever got on that plane back again.
Even though we can talk and see our wive's or girlfriends on yahoo or MSN, there is nothing like being able to touch and kiss and hold her hand. I miss everything about mahal.
Roll on our next visits, be strong buddy. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Haha! we pretty much said the same thing :D

[alanmf1]

Mark, i know how much we enjoy Bohol and being with the ones we love .... i can imagine how it is at home now (the cold wet windy grey skys) and i will experience it again very very soon.. i fly back to europe on thursday!!:doh

The best way is to begin planning the next trip mate......:xxgrinning--00xx3:

As Steve & Sim say you know you are amongst friends here who will share the pain......

[Tawi2]

Cold,crappy,country:rolleyes:?Easy option,sell the property,empty your account,and catch a flight,problem solved;)I bet if I stopped 100 random strangers in SM or Gaisano and asked would they like to live and work in that cold,crappy country they would snatch my arm off at the elbow for the visa and flight(even if it meant living in Woking,I used to work there:icon_lol:)count your blessings,this place truly isnt paradise,you had a great holiday and yeah Bohol is a scenic tropical idyll,but life is a darned sight tougher here than it ever is in that cold,crappy,country:rolleyes:
I would never **** off the UK having lived around a little,I have seen people here in really bad states because they dont have the safety net of our cold crappy country,as for your girlfriend just knuckle down,save your cash and fly back,or like I suggested move here permanantly;)

[Tawi2]

Cold,crappy,country:rolleyes:?Easy option,sell the property,empty your account,and catch a flight,problem solved;)I bet if I stopped 100 random strangers in SM or Gaisano and asked would they like to live and work in that cold,crappy country they would snatch my arm off at the elbow for the visa and flight(even if it meant living in Woking,I used to work there:icon_lol:)count your blessings,this place truly isnt paradise,you had a great holiday and yeah Bohol is a scenic tropical idyll,but life is a darned sight tougher here than it ever is in that cold,crappy,country:rolleyes:
I would never **** off the UK having lived around a little,I have seen people here in really bad states because they dont have the safety net of our cold crappy country,as for your girlfriend just knuckle down,save your cash and fly back,or like I suggested move here permanantly;)

[Englishman2010]

Welcome back:xxgrinning--00xx3: We've all been in that position and it's not nice, it's even worse if you arent sure when the next time you are going is - which is one of the reasons why I book 2 or 3 flights in advance, so that at least when I leave I know exactly when I will return.
It's easy to say it will get better, but it does, the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, and before you know it, it's time to get back on the plane again.
Keep in regular contact with your mahal, and don't feel too sorry for yourself. Life goes on, and no one wants to know a miserable person.
We're all friends with similar experiences on here, feel free to get your feelings off your chest amongst friends who understand.

[bher]

aawww, men here have same feelings/burden being too far with their MAHALs.. my husband always feel the same everytime he have to go back to UK.. well, all of us feels that but thats part of life.. and for sure someday when the right time come we won't never ever be apart with our MAHALs... cheer up mark.. keep strong for your girlfriend...:)

[fred]

Actually..Its pretty cold and crappy here in Bohol at the moment too.. The temp has dropped to 25f and Ive just taken a bioflu tab. :Help1:
Lots of cloud and rain here in paradise and you are probably better off there in the UK.:cwm24:
Does that make you feel any better?

[stevewool]

welcome back and like many have said save to go back or save to bring your girl here :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

[laurel]

Welcome back languish.......im sure we all have had that feeling , horrible to say the least.
But it will soon get easier, stay positive and remember every day is a day closer to you meet her again.
Chin up:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aposhark]

Don't get too down Languish.
In fact don't become your name!

Everyone who goes on a holiday to Europe have the blues when they come home for a while.
Your depression will spur you on to make sure you achieve your dreams and goals in life.
As a lot of us here can testify, keep yourself strong and focused through the down days between being together with your girlfriend again.

LDR's are hard for everyone to endure but the benefits of perservering are too powerful and rewarding.
Keep your chin up and remember that you are not alone, we have been through it and we wish you strength in your journey. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Languish]

Thanks for all the comments guys - its gratefully appreciated!

Steve.r - Spot on buddy. Whats really caught me is just how badly its hit me this time round. Everything from jet lag, missing my girlfriend, and even food is exponentially far stronger an impact this time round than it was in April. I am just not psychologically prepared at all for the impact this time around! You are right - roll on our next visits - all i know is mine has to be far sooner than i'd originally expected or planned for.

Subseastu - Thanks and yes we do use skype each and every night with a couple of exceptions due to our respective work committments from time to time. Im planning to get out in April.

Sim11UK - Thanks :) and 100% true!

Alanmf1 - The weather here just serves as a marker for my emotional reaction. The weather in this country is generally cruddy though admittedly! :P You are right though - already been looking at flights!!!

Tawi2 - Maybe a bit extreme! You are right of course - i do love my country, its safe and work is good and well paying... but its not where my heart is.

Englishman2010 - Booking 2-3 flights in advance, thats a clever idea, never thought of that. You are right about the passing of time and it does go quickly - prior to this visit last week it had been 7 months since i last saw her in person and that was night on tortorous to say the least. The webcam became the ultimate symbol of that torture so to be able to finally touch her again was like a release from prison. Coming back to that reality has been a cold slap in the face. I can do it of course but its not pleasant!!! :)

bher - You are right and i am glad im not the only one who feels like this! Its comforting to know this.

fred - yeah it wasnt that it was amazing weather out there in Cebu/Bohol - the weather just serves as a physical representation of the fact im not with her but here instead. Thanks for the youtube video - its true (and a classic film too)!

Stevewool - saving to go back already :) and will be as soon as possible! Jealous of you my friend - marriage and living with your love - you lucky devil!!!

Laurel - Thanks for the positive comments.

Aposhark - heh this is an old forum name i used to use before things became positive for me. Its historical but in no way representative of who i am nowadays - actually i've been meaning to change it. Is there an easy way to do that? You are right about LDR's... we are fast coming up to our one year anniversary - its perfectly do-able and we've proved it to ourselves and everyone - its just naturally difficult being so far apart! :)

[Englishman2010]

Englishman2010 - Booking 2-3 flights in advance, thats a clever idea, never thought of that. You are right about the passing of time and it does go quickly - prior to this visit last week it had been 7 months since i last saw her in person and that was night on tortorous to say the least. The webcam became the ultimate symbol of that torture so to be able to finally touch her again was like a release from prison. Coming back to that reality has been a cold slap in the face. I can do it of course but its not pleasant!!! :)



You'll be fine, the first week back is always the worst, I often feel quite lost and emotional during the first week. It's a combination of jetlag, back to the reality of work and of course missing your loved one, but it does get better.

I really have found that booking flights in advance works for me, it gives me a sense of knowing, rather than just wondering if and when I will go back. The other advantage is booking in advance usually ensures I get a reasonably priced ticket.

I can't use Skype anymore, it hurts too much, seeing and not being able to touch. We keep in touch via YM, FB and SMS throughout the day.

LDR's are hard work and take a lot of effort and commitment, but if you are sure you have found your soul mate, they are worth every ounce of effort you put into it. Ultimately, you won't be apart for ever, as sooner or later you will both make a decision to be together.

There are bound to be many more dark days ahead, and don't forget we all know what it's like, we've been there and still have them too. The beauty of this forum is that we are nearly all in the same boat and can help each other get over our bouts of anxiety, paranoia, depression...etc. We aren't like your mates in the 'real' world who simply don't understand what you are going through.

Try not to torture yourself too much, and remember the wonderful times you and your mahal spent together, whilst at the same time remembering that soon enough you will be in her arms again

[Dedworth]

You'll be fine, .......................................................................................................... that soon enough you will be in her arms again

I wasn't an LDR man (just made an LD phone call though) but knowing one or two this sounds like good, solid, level headed advice

[Tawi2]

Sorry if my response was overly harsh last night Languish,and re-reading it I know it was,i saw the local buang guy yesterday,always the same,filthy dirty,dressed in tattered rags and walking barefoot around the village grinning and chatting away to himself,you have it very easy in comparison to someone like that,save your cash and come back out,time passes quickly,before long you will once again be en-route to Heathrow with packed bags:)

[Terpe]

Languish

Glad to hear you had your wonderful time.
So sorry to learn about your pain of returning.

As everyone has said, hang-on in there. We have all been through it many times before. Not that hearing that will help.

Please try to think positive.
Hold on to your dreams,cherish your friends and never give up.
I always think that the best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up.

Why not share some of your great holiday moments with us? :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aposhark]

.........................Aposhark - heh this is an old forum name i used to use before things became positive for me. Its historical but in no way representative of who i am nowadays - actually i've been meaning to change it. Is there an easy way to do that?

Ask the mods :xxgrinning--00xx3: