Divorce Decree Absolute

[mickcant]

Hi all:Wave:

My Divorce Decree Absolute was made final on the 7th January 2011, at the County Court.

I do not see this as a celebration; it makes me very sad that a marriage that I hoped would lead to a fulfilling life together with Jennifer has ended like this.:bigcry:

The emotional loss hurts me far more than the money she conned from me.:furious3:

I know Jennifer was reading my post to the group when I was trying to make our marriage work, I wonder if she will post her comments on events!

Mick.:NoNo:

[Doc Alan]

Hi Mick, you're right, it's not cause for celebration. It is, however, a milestone and I may be the first, but not the last, on the forum to wish you all the best for the future. Please take care and look after your own health and wellbeing :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

Thanks Doc Alan, :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Mick.:)

[dontpushme]

Well, why is this in the celebrations page then?:Erm:

I'm really sorry someone did you wrong like that and I can't even imagine what kind of person purposely uses others the way she did. But I hope you can move forward and don't let the past become your emotional baggage. If you do, she wins. She'll have improved her life by using you and you'll have destroyed any chances you have of having something better that you deserve. I wish there were some way we could help but I know this takes time and your determination and strength. The way you've handled things shows how resilient you are, but even resilient people can have baggage if they let things fester.

I can only imagine your pain, and I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I'm glad your divorce is final. Now the only hold she has on you is emotional. You just have to take things one day at a time (like you've been doing since that whole thing started). And you can rant and rave in the forum if and when you need to.

[mickcant]

Hi dontpushme,:Wave:

I suppose It should be in "Courting & Relationships" but I saw divorce mentioned in the heading!

I dont think it matters too much, but if a moderator wants to move it they will:xxgrinning--00xx3:

I will move on, the divorce is a ending to somthing bad, life is still worth looking forward to:Jump:
Mick:)

[dontpushme]

Hi dontpushme,:Wave:

Hullo:Hellooo::D!


life is still worth looking forward to:Jump:
Mick:)

Oh, definitely! Someone once told me that if someone hurts you, you should always come back better and stronger just to spite their sorry a$$.:icon_lol:

Denise

[Terpe]

....I will move on, the divorce is a ending to somthing bad, life is still worth looking forward to:Jump:
Mick:)

Nicely said Mick :xxgrinning--00xx3:
You know my feelings on this. Time will heal and the hurt will fade.

[Lancashirelad]

Best wishes for the future Mick. Maybe not a celebration, but its a clean slate :)

[grahamw48]

Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now. :Erm:

I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

Where would I get a certificate or whatever ? :)

The ex has re-married, so I suppose that means I'm definitely single now. :icon_lol:

So, when are we going out on the pull Mick ? :D

[gWaPito]

Hi Mick Sorry to read that you are still down beat on this. Like Dont push me said, its in the 'happy' section so, I thought you'd be full of merriment. You got to take the positives from it Mick. Better to find out now rather than many years down the line. It could of been much much worse for you. Try not to dwell. Good luck for the future Mick

[Arthur Little]

I've already said my piece elsewhere ... suffice to say here, that Mick's news marks the end of a sad and difficult "chapter" in his life ... and I imagine he must be feeling greatly relieved. So in that sense, at least, it IS a cause for celebration. ;)

[mickcant]

Hi Mick Sorry to read that you are still down beat on this. Like Dont push me said, its in the 'happy' section so, I thought you'd be full of merriment. You got to take the positives from it Mick. Better to find out now rather than many years down the line. It could of been much much worse for you. Try not to dwell. Good luck for the future Mick

As I tried to say I am not celebrating despite being in this section, it was put here as the sub title of the section covers marriage and divorce.

I _was_ emotionally hurt when Jennifer disappeared after our marriage and _again_ when she eventually arrived here, and I could see she did not even attempt to make the marriage work.

Then hurt _again_ when I discovered (Jenn did not tell me) I found out that she had conceived and given birth, after our marriage and before arriving here.

The feeling I have now is that I jumped off a crashing train before the big smash, yes I was hurt but am getting better every day.
Thanks everyone,
Mick.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mickcant]

Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now. :Erm:

I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

Where would I get a certificate or whatever ? :)

The ex has re-married, so I suppose that means I'm definitely single now. :icon_lol:

So, when are we going out on the pull Mick ? :D

Yes Graham safe to say you are divorced, did the court not send you anything about it being made Decree absolute?

It would be a long distance pull with how far apart we are:icon_lol:
Mick.:)

[laurel]

Chin up Mick, and move you will know when the time is right to move on .
Good luck to you :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[mindanao]

what a relief for you Mick. There could be "hurt" feelings but it will vanish in time.. :) You are lucky. As always.. truth prevails.

[grahamw48]

Yes Graham safe to say you are divorced, did the court not send you anything about it being made Decree absolute?

It would be a long distance pull with how far apart we are:icon_lol:
Mick.:)

I don't think she knew my address...even though our boy used to come to me every weekend. :rolleyes:

I used to live closer to you when I was a nipper....a little place called Lovedean, near Waterlooville. (Dad was in the Navy).

Keep being optimistic anyway old chap...lightning never strikes and all that. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

Hi Mick.. Well done mate..You got there in the end.
Hopefully when her visa expires she will be absolutely gone!!
Seems like you have made a lot of really genuine friends since this episode began that will continue to be your friends now that it has ended!!
Cheers,
Fred.

[Rosie1958]

Well, I'm assuming mine is absolute now. :Erm:

I last received forms from the court (didn't attend or contest it) in 2006.

Where would I get a certificate or whatever ? :)

You should be able to obtain a copy of the Decree Absolute from the County Court

[grahamw48]

Ah thanks Rosie.

That's what I had assumed. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Rosie1958]

Hi Mick

I'm glad that your divorce has now been completed as hopefully the stress and pain associated with it will now begin to subside.

Take care
Rosie

[stevewool]

i agree with you mick, but there must have been good times too , so put the bad times at the back of your head , you will never forget them, and think of the good times to come

[sars_notd_virus]

It's a good news Mick!! Good luck on your future happiness!!

[AnaWallace]

HI Mick, i do not know of your predicament, but time is a healer and family and friends are needed at times of need,

But life can be so cruel at times, you just have to pick up the pieces and move on,

Gary.

[Englishman2010]

At last you can put this behind you now Mick, pick up the pieces and begin to rebuild your life. I hope you find the happiness that you truly deserve and can share your life with someone who loves you the way you will love her:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Chikky]

Hi Mick,
I'm sorry to hear of what you been through. I'm glad that your divorce has now been completed and you can move on with your life. I just want to ask you how long it takes to get your Divorce Decree Absolute from the time you lodge your application in the County Court? I am researching to help a friend who's fiancee just filed his dissolution of civil partnership last week. She told me that she has been informed by her fiancee that it will take 5-6 months time to finish. I will be please if you can give me some tips and advise about this and if there is a solicitor that can help them to speed up the process. Thanks a lot..

Chikky

[mickcant]

Hi Chikky,:Wave:
I take it you are talking about a divorce in a UK court.

We married in the Philippines in 2008 and divorced in the UK.

My divorce was a bit on/off to start with as she decided she wanted to come back to the UK and make our marriage work, but it did not.

We finally split up in February 2010, I saw a solicitor in early March and he thought it would take 4 months but my ex would not respond to the divorce petition sent to her so after giving her time to respond a second petition was served on her by a court bailiff, which again she did not respond to so it was
On the 7th January 2011 the Decree Absolute was granted.

So it took 10 months to complete.

Giving you tips is not very easy as all divorces are so different.

If both agree to it then it can be done without a solicitor, simply go to a local; court and pick up a divorce pack and complete it.

If one partner was in the UK and the other the Philippines and did not want a divorce then it could be very difficult.
There are others here who know the complexes of divorce much better than me, hopefully they will respond.
Have you tried searching for “divorce” in the forum?

All the best,
Mick.:)

[Chikky]

Hi Mick,
Thank you very much for the information i know my friend will be please about it. In her fiancee's situation the ex civil partner is cooperating with the process as she is not interested anymore. Also, they are been living apart for 3 years and just remain good friends. Both parties are in the UK so i think it will not be too long for them waiting.

Thanks,
Chikky:)

[purple]

Hi Mick,

I understand all these emotional stuff you have been going through... not that I have been divorced before. Life can be tough but like every one said.. a lesson learned.. but most of all there are reasons. It might not be a good one, but I'm sure there is some one out there who is of worth and dignity.

[grahamw48]

When children are involved, then it gets truly emotional.

I would have walked to the end of the earth and back for my son.

By comparison, the prospect of losing the ex was insignificant.

[Terpe]

When children are involved, then it gets truly emotional.

I would have walked to the end of the earth and back for my son.

By comparison, the prospect of losing the ex was insignificant.


Very well said and very well done Graham.:xxgrinning--00xx3:
It can certainly become a living nightmare, and it's so easy to become bitter bitter bitter.
Respect to you mate, and all others with the same heart and determination.

[grahamw48]

Thanks Terpe.

I just can't think any other way.

How could anyone not consider that their selfish actions might ruin the life of a delightful and innocent 11-year old kid just starting out on the journey of life ? :NoNo:

Not forgetting my two brilliant step-children, both of whom visit me, stay in touch over the internet, and of course call me dad. (Their Filipino biological father died when they were aged 7 and 9) .

Happier times...the stepchildren's first Christmas in the UK (and a newly bought house, hence the horrible inherited decor :rolleyes: .

http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/673/negs62008.jpg

[ynai4]

hey mick,,
so means if your marriage in philippines you can file case for devorce in uk?my setatuition is were have a wedding and philippines but after 3years me and my ex where decide to seperate each others.but i wolud like to know how i can file the devorce case in uk?how long is take time?

[JimOttley]

hey mick,,
so means if your marriage in philippines you can file case for devorce in uk?my setatuition is were have a wedding and philippines but after 3years me and my ex where decide to seperate each others.but i wolud like to know how i can file the devorce case in uk?how long is take time?

Yna it is very important for you that you are not the petitioner for divorce you should see if your husband will start divorce proceedings against you.

The reason for this is that as a Filipino where a foreigner divorces you then the divorce will be recognised and you will be free to remarry in the Philippines. If you start the divorce it will not be recognised in the Philippines because as you know divorce is not allowed in the Phils.

If you already have UK citizenship or ILR then this may not matter to you but you should think carefully before you proceed and also take professional advice.

[mickcant]

hey mick,,
so means if your marriage in philippines you can file case for devorce in uk?my setatuition is were have a wedding and philippines but after 3years me and my ex where decide to seperate each others.but i wolud like to know how i can file the devorce case in uk?how long is take time?

Hi yan, jim is correct, I did start the divorce, we were both living in the UK, if that makes a difference.
You do need to see a solicitor for best advice to fit your needs.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Mt divorce took nine months.
Mick.:)

[FertileOne]

Sorry to hear that Mick.

In the UK marriage quite often ends in divorce. Perhaps it's more common with these such relationships (Brit-Foreign Bride). But I'm sure none of us are that naive to not understand why such relationships come about, and what both parties are getting out of it. So it's important to protect yourselves, as well as you can. But as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Enjoy the good the memories, for that's all we have in the end, before we bite the dust anyway. Pick yourself up, and focus on how you're going to make your life more enjoyable. Maybe find another foreign-bride, and just be mindful of any mistakes you made the first time around.

A friend of mine (Ethiopian), was married to a (much older) English man. She was so hell bent on getting her British citizenship it wasn't funny (admittedly it is hard for someone in the UK without the ability to work legally). I think after a few years of marriage, she had given up, and decided to go back to Ethiopia, and is trying to get a divorce. Apparently he gave her access to half of his savings. Don't mean to be judgemental, but sometimes we do strange things for love, especially unrequited love. :(

[grahamw48]

You may also ask how long does the average 'conventional' British marriage last....both partners presumably from similar age groups, social levels and cultural backgrounds. :)

I personally think a lot of (British) women make poor choices in the mating game, and too many couples start families when their relationship is on rocky foundations, both emotionally and financially...hence a lot of our society's social problems. :rolleyes:

[imagine]

does anyone know ,,, what is a decree nisa as opposed to a decree absolut?

[gWaPito]

You may also ask how long does the average 'conventional' British marriage last....both partners presumably from similar age groups, social levels and cultural backgrounds. :)

I personally think a lot of (British) women make poor choices in the mating game, and too many couples start families when their relationship is on rocky foundations, both emotionally and financially...hence a lot of our society's social problems. :rolleyes:


I have to agree. I married young, didn't have two halfpenny's to rub between the cheeks of my ...., had 2 kids. It lasted 25 years, due the fact I spent most of that time working away from home.

[grahamw48]

does anyone know ,,, what is a decree nisa as opposed to a decree absolut?

I know there's one of them waiting for me somewhere...presumably Register Office ?

My divorce was finalised in 2006.

I left it to the ex to sort out the paperwork , seeing as I was the 'injured' party, and we lived 60 miles apart then....now about 1,000. (I was notified by the court that the divorce had gone through).

[Doc Alan]

does anyone know ,,, what is a decree nisa as opposed to a decree absolut?
A decree nisi is an order from a court which ends a marriage subject to a decree absolute at a later time.
A decree absolute is an order from a court which ends a marriage finally.

[imagine]

A decree nisi is an order from a court which ends a marriage subject to a decree absolute at a later time.
A decree absolute is an order from a court which ends a marriage finally.

so the nisa is not needed, it is the decree absolute which is the important one

[Doc Alan]

You must get the decree nisi first. Nisi is Latin for unless, implying "unless any problems or disputes arise".

[imagine]

i dont ever recal having a nisa,

but as for being used to marry in phill, am i right that it is only the decree absolute that is needed ? thanks doc

[Doc Alan]

The certificate showing "Decree absolute" is vitally important to keep. To my knowledge that is the only one which is required as proof of divorce.

[imagine]

The certificate showing "Decree absolute" is vitally important to keep. To my knowledge that is the only one which is required as proof of divorce.

thank you doc :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[keeperlit]

the decree nisa is issued first then you have to wait 6weeks and one day for to get your absolute decree you keep both of them but as doc alan says the absolute decree is the proof you are finaly divorce ,,,remember you are not single until you have you absolute decree in your hands