Message to the government...............

[Tawi2]

A friend just mailed me this :Erm:



Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire - ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids/grandkids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week.....and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading schemes that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy b*****ds to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!

And if more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite


Other points you might consider:
Put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home, then the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd also receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. They’d have constant video monitoring so if assistance was needed they’d have immediate help. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be washed and ironed as needed. There would be a guard to check on them every 20 minutes and staff to bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens for anyone who felt the need to exercise.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls and there would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and all guards would have a code of conduct that would have to be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised day and night. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week; live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week without any hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
******
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, during the mad cow epidemic, our government could track a single cow, born almost three years ago in Appleby, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria ? And, they even tracked her calves to their individual stalls.. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each illegal immigrant a cow.
******
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.
******
Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[les_taxi]

:icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

:xxgrinning--00xx3: ... many are the TRUE words spoken in jest!

[imagine]

:xxgrinning--00xx3:vote for Tawi2 in the election:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

You see...someone agrees with me ! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sounds like a plan, but he's about 400,000 short on the illegals figure.

Yes, why not put an ear tag on the blighters when they climb out of the back of the truck ? :Erm:

[JimOttley]

A friend just mailed me this :Erm:

Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire - ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids/grandkids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week.....and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading schemes that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy b*****ds to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!



Great idea Tawi but 10 trillion pounds seems a lot more than the couple of hundred billion we gave the bankers.

The banks were dumb but us borrowers were just as dumb and the old maxim that you can't go wrong with bricks and mortar was dumb.

But here we are and if the poor sods that financed our couple of decades of insanity have to take a haircut, as they say in the modern parlance, then so be it.

A lot of those poor sods were savers in China and elsewhere in the far east, as well as ourselves in the west via our pension funds.

I would agree that there are a lot of pensioners that are living in awful conditions.

Regards the mad cow quote I guess they meant the foot and mouth epidemic, as back in the late 1980's early 90's they didn't have the ability to track individual animals, that came in during the last decade, I worked on those systems albeit to a very limited extent.

[gWaPito]

You see...someone agrees with me ! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sounds like a plan, but he's about 400,000 short on the illegals figure.

Yes, why not put an ear tag on the blighters when they climb out of the back of the truck ? :Erm:

Good post Tawi :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Talking about tagging the blighters, last year I took the wife to white horse hill, many sheep there with ear tags.

Wife thought they were for decoration. Oh she said, they are wearing ear rings, I laughed

[Walaytawo]

Brilliant :xxgrinning--00xx3: The problems could be fixed a lot easier than most think.

[gWaPito]

Brilliant :xxgrinning--00xx3: The problems could be fixed a lot easier than most think.

If you eliminate all those corrupted members of parliament. Trouble is, no one would be left. Until you replace them with equally corruptable mp' s.

You only got to look at the amount of mp's who got caught with there fat fingers in the till, Brown nose included.

If they are willing to risk doing a stupid thing like that, they sure won't turn there nose up at seriously big backhanders.

' easier than you think'. Far from it.

[Walaytawo]

True, but I'm sure there's plenty of people in the country like the person whoever wrote that letter. Decent people with decent ideas. Those who won't be there to carry out secret agendas.

A lot of it just seems like simple maths to me. Cut the billions in aid we give away, stop the illegal wars abroad, close the borders, the list goes on. There's so many things which could be done to recoup money, but they hit the ordinary people, as always :angry: Why :Erm: Because they've been dumbing us down for years with braindead TV and celebrity stories, and know we got better things to do than question what they're up to.

[grahamw48]

This has all come about since we started to give a damn about what the rest of the world thought about us (UK) as a brand, rather than the quality of our products.

Successive govts (apart from Thatcher) have been more concerned with our international prestige....call it 'face' if you like, than with the needs of their own population. :rolleyes:

[JimOttley]

Guys you can't be taking this seriously it's clearly a joke the proposal is to invent 10 TRILLION pounds of money and hand it to the over 50's, that's something like 5 times the country's entire Gross Domestic Product :Erm:

[grahamw48]

No, I'm sure none of us are THAT stupid.

It does raise a number of interesting points for discussion though. :)

[Doc Alan]

Some members probably missed "Criminals and Pensioners" in the Humour section. It's good to know that an expanded version of my thread is circulating by e mail. Of course it raises interesting points for discussion, not to be taken too seriously ! I'm happy to see the response to Tawi2's thread :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[somebody]

Made me chuckle but sadly would never work hey ho:D

Also on the serious tip from what I understand a lot of the billions the banks got was from the US I understand. The big problem the UK has is its spending more than it earns..

If the pensioners did buy a British car most of the money would go abroad anyway:NoNo:

Plus to buy a car pay off the mortage (most would buy a house or remortage before the cut off point im sure most on here would :Rasp: ) and pay of the children/grandchildrens education fees might cost tad more than a million:rolleyes:

[KeithD]

Cows are easy to trace, obviously the writer has no intelligence on how rural life works :doh .... all cows, sheep, etc used for food have always had it's breeding stock recording to prevent constant inbred animals getting into the food chain.

Maybe the letter should have gone to Gordon Brown instead, as he's the one that broke everything, and had 13 years to adjust things so they worked out fine.

[Arthur Little]

Some members probably missed "Criminals and Pensioners" in the Humour section. It's good to know that an expanded version of my thread is circulating by e mail. Of course it raises interesting points for discussion, not to be taken too seriously ! I'm happy to see the response to Tawi2's thread :xxgrinning--00xx3:


:xxgrinning--00xx3: ... many are the TRUE words spoken in jest!

Yes, Alan ... I'd noticed this thread incorporated the selfsame topic you'd raised recently in the Humour Section, and decided to respond to Tawi's expanded version in like fashion - again, in keeping with the light-hearted spirit the original intended to convey. :yeahthat: And, like you, therefore, I'm frankly surprised at the whole new "can of worms" opened by subject matter that clearly wasn't meant to be taken so seriously! :doh

[Walaytawo]

In jest or not the concept could work - instead of wasting money on people who probably don't deserve it give it to those who have spent years paying taxes and contributing to the country in a positive way, with stipulations to pump it back into the economy. It would surely give the country a much needed injection :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Arthur Little]

In jest or not the concept could work - instead of wasting money on people who probably don't deserve it give it to those who have spent years paying taxes and contributing to the country in a positive way, with stipulations to pump it back into the economy. It would surely give the country a much needed injection :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yep :rolleyes: ... fair comment!

[Walaytawo]

Here's over £1.5 billion for starters which could be pumped back into the UK economy:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12607537
http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=156877712
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/jul/18/uk-afghanistan-aid-increase

Nah, easier to make nurses, police and fire service redundant.

[branno]

Cows are easy to trace, obviously the writer has no intelligence on how rural life works :doh .... all cows, sheep, etc used for food have always had it's breeding stock recording to prevent constant inbred animals getting into the food chain.

Maybe the letter should have gone to Gordon Brown instead, as he's the one that broke everything, and had 13 years to adjust things so they worked out fine.

you obviously forget that that terrible period that "thatcher was in power"... how long was she or her in power... and wot destructive damage did she do.... :D:action-smiley-081::icon_lol::icon_lol::Hellooo::hubbahubba:

[Ako Si Jamie]

And we're now seeing her creation - chavs :laugher:

[Arthur Little]

how long was she or her in power...

... after "cracking the whip" :xxaction-smiley-047 for marginally over eleven and a half years - from May 1979 until think ] late 1990 or thereabouts - the Iron Lady' was betrayed by rebels from within her own party ... chiefly among them, former Chancellor, Sir Geoffrey Howe and Michael [now Lord] Heseltine (the latter challenging her leadership) ... if I remember correctly.

[JimOttley]

Cows are easy to trace, obviously the writer has no intelligence on how rural life works :doh .... all cows, sheep, etc used for food have always had it's breeding stock recording to prevent constant inbred animals getting into the food chain.

Maybe the letter should have gone to Gordon Brown instead, as he's the one that broke everything, and had 13 years to adjust things so they worked out fine.

Livestock passports were introduced into law in 1996 it took many years for them to be implemented into any kind of reasonable electronic tracking system, I worked, on a consultancy basis, with some old colleagues in Scotland on part of the implementation of the livestock passports system around 2000-2003 sadly the organisation we were working for was shut down before completion of the project, although many aspects were implemented.

The fundamental problem was that many farmers records were very sketchy as the poor guys had little time to do all the tracking that the government enforced on them, they had a hard enough time just trying to run their own business without all the additional overheads imposed on them by regulation.

For a long time it has been questionable whether animals were being tracked correctly although I suspect they are now.