What do you think of a guy who is afraid to be married?

[Vische]

Im really thinking why some guy in the right age, right status and promise a lot of things to a woman like it is so serious but doesn't want to get married :NoNo: ..

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

:Erm: this is really a confusion to me, for all i know i've met a couple of guys and they skip out when they heard about the marriage thing :icon_lol:

[RickyR]

Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.

[lastlid]

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?



The million dollar question, Vische. My wife's sister has just split up irreversibly after barely a year or so of marriage. I have seen their wedding pictures. She will have had no idea how short her marriage was due to last....and she had known the man she had married for years.

[lastlid]

How will a woman know if this guy wants to be with her for the rest of her life or just enjoyed her company now cause she is still a beautiful young woman?

Easy....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwGGZTZ-3pM

[mickcant]

There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same ideas of commitment:Cuckoo:
The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
Mick:)

[grahamw48]

Already married ? :cwm24:

I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

Some people are happy being single.

You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, :Erm: which isn't really helpful. :)

[Vische]

Commitment? Making a decision? Being Responsible? All seems too difficult for some people.

Yeah i know its quite the factors but if the guy demands something from you but does not want to get married, what does it mean, the girl is just a past time? :NoNo:

[Vische]

There are women like that too, it is just hard finding a partner with the same idears of commitment:Cuckoo:
The more you put into a good relationship the more better it is for both.
Mick:)

Yeah Mick, i guess its hard to be on the same page afterall .... thanks

[Vische]

Easy....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwGGZTZ-3pM

Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young :icon_lol:

Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ... :icon_lol:

[Vische]

Already married ? :cwm24:

I had no SERIOUS desire to get married right up to meeting the ex when I was 38....and actually wish I'd remained single now.

Some people are happy being single.

You need to to do some serious talking (not nagging) and hopefully you'll receive an honest answer from the guy.
Each person will have their own reasons. We can only guess, :Erm: which isn't really helpful. :)

Yeah i guess but since he doesn't divulge what really happen in his past is really hard to understand what he wants :cwm3: its like im reading a different book ... :doh

[lastlid]

Thanks Lastlid, this video is quite good Cher, winona and kat are so young :icon_lol:

Oh i guess i just let it be, what will be will be ... :icon_lol:

I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....

[Vische]

I think there is always going to be an element of risk.

In the case of my wife's sister, I was so shocked given that the Philippine attitude towards divorce is so strict. All the more reason to try and get it right first time....

Yeah i guess so but it just confuse me since i thought we're on the same page, but :NoNo: i guess not..

[Vische]

I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha :icon_lol:

[Terpe]

I envy you guys cause all of you seem to be very serious when you search for your partners here in the Philippines, guess im out of range with luck with guys hahahaha :icon_lol:

Vische, it's an age old question with no 'simple fix'.
But it seems to me you already know and understand the issues. You already display most of the qualities and wisdom in identification of the solutions.
But........
Maybe your confusion is really a question about commitment in finally deciding the way?

[grahamw48]

If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ? :NoNo:

[Merry]

If your partner doesn't even want to share his past with you, why would you be thinking about a serious relationship with him, let alone marriage ? :NoNo:

hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship:doh :NoNo:....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together :NoNo:

I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!

My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose :Sex:
:furious3:

I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.

:BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy:

[imagine]

over the years i have seen friends who have lived together for 4 or 5 yrs, and quite happy, even had children, then they decided to get married, after being married for 1 year they break up,:Erm:
does being married put pressure on that relationship :Erm:
at the end of the day it is the relationship that matters that is what bonds 2 people together not a piece of paper to say they are married,
i think in general marrage seems to be more important to the woman,

in my opinion nothing past or present should be hidden the book must be open and the pages seen,
nothing hidden, no lies,
only truth trust and love can join two people as one

[Arthur Little]

hmmm,,,that reminded me of my ex....It is only now that I recall we never talk about marriage after 4 yrs of relationship:doh :NoNo:....He just kept saying we will be together soon...that he will save for us to be together :NoNo:

I finally realized he is one of those British guys who just doesn't embrace commitment!

It's better late :yeahthat: than never :rolleyes: ...


My friends say that he must have preferred the local girl (an English woman) over me not because he can no longer afford me but because he didn't want to miss his daily dose :Sex:
:furious3:

I felt bad because I really thought he is real but I guess I fell into the wrong guy. Glad now that we are done.

:BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy:

... and please don't feel bad about it! :nono-1-1: ... seems to me your ex was a commitment phobe - who'd simply been "leading you a 'merry' dance"!

[Iani]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?
Maybe they are at a certain age where they think no way to marriage.
Maybe they are in their 30's, 40's etc, and are not married - and this just shows what sort of guys they are - guys who do not want to get married.

Maybe they have come out of a messy divorce, and just like someone who has been bitten by a dog isn't going to want to visit a kennel?

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........it's so strange. We all know people that has happened to, including my best friend. Madness!

[Vische]

Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........

... funny you should mention that! :yeahthat: I've known this to happen with many couples. It's almost as if - by finally "taking the plunge" :wedtoss: - they suddenly found themselves engulfed by overwhelming feelings of entrapment ... to which they'd hitherto been unaccustomed.

[imagine]

Thank you guys for your wonderful insights, i guess that thing about the past is what i want to uncover since i already told all about my past then if it does not work then i say its not gonna work, like the saying says 'it needs two to tango' not only one :icon_lol:

in some respects , do we really need to know of their past, do we have a right to know? or is it just down to trust ?:Erm:

[grahamw48]

What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ? :Erm:

Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO. :NoNo:

[imagine]

What if they had been a mass murderer or a rapist....or just STILL MARRIED ? :Erm:

Secrets or an unknown past in a relationship are never a good starting point IMO. :NoNo:

:yikes::Erm: well there is that,, but surely there must be certain things you might just prefer to keep to yourself that only you know,, where do you draw the line,
personally i dont think there should be anything hidden,, but isnt it down to choice , after all the past is past, its what is now that matters most

[Arthur Little]

the past is past

It IS, Stewart ... :iagree:! But sometimes it can be difficult to let go of it.

[imagine]

It IS, Stewart ... :iagree:! But sometimes it can be difficult to let go of it.

:iagree: with that,,, true true

[grahamw48]

...and some of us have a longer past than others. :olddude:

[Maria B]

They might be at the right age & status in life & are good in making promises but they aren't ready for commitment. Some have bad past experiences, some still enjoyed the single lifestyle, some are not matured enough to tell the truth that marriage is not in their list yet, financially not stable to give their future wife a comfortable life...


It's not easy to tell. Different individuals. Some are full of surprises some are just boring :rolleyes: ooopsss. Some are not good in showing off the love they had for a lady, some are too much showy...it's only u who can tell. Actions speaks louder than words. It's not that the lady is still young & beautiful. You can tell by his actions if he's for real. Don't be blinded by gifts coz some are good at it. It all comes along everyday that you are together. That's why dating is important coz it's how u get to know each other. There are signs.

Don't be confuse. It just gives u a stress. Enjoy your life being single. It will just come along. Instead go out with family & friends, have a healthy lifestyle & keep smiling...one day that smile will capture a true man's heart. Having a relationship it's not that easy. It's always a two way not one way. If you are looking for a marriage type of man, don't waste your time to a man who can't give you what u are looking for. Marriage is not only the answer to every relationship. It takes time, it's reality & not a game. If there are signs that he's not right for you then he's not the one that you are looking for in a husband. Take your time. Just enjoy being single. It will be worst when u are trap in a marriage & found out too late that a man you married is a person that will just break your heart. Marriage is not always a bed of roses, there are also thorns. Keep smiling chick!:Wave:

[malditako]

if a man truly loves you he would marry you...no buts no ifs :)

[Arthur Little]

:iagree: with that,,, true true ...

... particularly if it comes back to haunt us. :gost:

[Maria B]

if a man truly loves you he would marry you...no buts no ifs :)

absolutely:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Arthur Little]

Keep smiling chick! :Wave:

:smileybigtmouth: ... :coolchickendance: ... :D ... HOWZATT for starters?

[Vische]

in some respects , do we really need to know of their past, do we have a right to know? or is it just down to trust ?:Erm:

Yeah i guess its respect i don't want anyone to force them to tell me things they don't want to reveal to me but the thing is i trust him with my past so can he even give me a hint of the things happened in his past even just a glimpse /summary hahaha, i guess he doesn't trust me much maybe he thinks im like his girl in the past. Well i guess i just have to trust God whatever his plan to me or to us :olddude:

Mada mada dane, I think i just have to live a life on my own for awhile :Erm: just wondering if it will be more interesting :icon_lol: Thanks imaginee :xxgrinning--00xx3: you really have so many insights on this :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Vische]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?
Maybe they are at a certain age where they think no way to marriage.
Maybe they are in their 30's, 40's etc, and are not married - and this just shows what sort of guys they are - guys who do not want to get married.

Maybe they have come out of a messy divorce, and just like someone who has been bitten by a dog isn't going to want to visit a kennel?

As for the thing about people living together happily for years, get married then split..........it's so strange. We all know people that has happened to, including my best friend. Madness!

yeah madness ... a guy who can't conquer his fear for his love i guess i don't earn it yet .... :NoNo: possible i didn't pass the standard :Erm:

[Vische]

absolutely:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yeah i guess so Maria, thanks ...

:D thanks

[tone]

I know the example provided by Vische was about a guy on that point I'd say sometimes the cost of marriage may be an issue, but if you turned of the :Sex: for a while you may quickly identify the nature of the love.

I was with my ex (un married) for 10 years, I wanted to marry but she didn't because over the last 5 years she became very successful, wealthy and saw what happened to me in my divorce. She didn't want to risk losing it to me if we split.
So we split or I decided I needed someone who would love and care for me as I would for them... I met Rina.

So it isn't just guys it's a bit of human nature, and it's definitely fear...

[grahamw48]

Erm, do you still have her address tone ? :Erm:

[Iani]

yeah madness ... a guy who can't conquer his fear for his love i guess i don't earn it yet .... :NoNo: possible i didn't pass the standard :Erm:

Don't say that, that makes me quite sad to hear you knock yourself :hug-1: if anything, it's his loss, never knock yourself

[grahamw48]

I was going to say that too. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Love and value yourself first. :)

[Vische]

I know the example provided by Vische was about a guy on that point I'd say sometimes the cost of marriage may be an issue, but if you turned of the :Sex: for a while you may quickly identify the nature of the love.

I was with my ex (un married) for 10 years, I wanted to marry but she didn't because over the last 5 years she became very successful, wealthy and saw what happened to me in my divorce. She didn't want to risk losing it to me if we split.
So we split or I decided I needed someone who would love and care for me as I would for them... I met Rina.

So it isn't just guys it's a bit of human nature, and it's definitely fear...

Yeah i guess so :Erm: yeah he also admit it that he still fear of going through another marriage :cwm24:

[Vische]

Don't say that, that makes me quite sad to hear you knock yourself :hug-1: if anything, it's his loss, never knock yourself

Yeah i needed that iani a hug :bigcry: waaaahhhh im still a crybaby hahahaha :icon_lol:

[Vische]

I was going to say that too. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Love and value yourself first. :)

Thanks graham :) i appreciate that

[imagine]

Well, these guys, how long was it before you started dropping hints about being married?


its when she turns up on the first date in her wedding dress thats a put off :yikes::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[grahamw48]

:yikes:

:laugher:

[sars_notd_virus]

What do you think of a guy who is afraid to be married?

Nothing wrong with erring on the side of caution:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Vische]

its when she turns up on the first date in her wedding dress thats a put off :yikes::icon_lol::icon_lol:

good one Imagine :xxgrinning--00xx3: :laugher: