What’s in store in a foreign land (behind the scenes)

[jlags90]

Every time people (neighbors, relatives, friends) would talk to me about my coming to the UK soon, they would often say “Hayahay na imong mama ug papa ani” (Your parents would be well off sooner). Honestly, that was also my perception before every time I hear happy ending stories of a neighbor married to a “foreigner”.

However, as I get nearer to the day I leave Philippines; realities came rushing to my system. Folks, we have to admit it, we see a foreign country as an escape to the looming economic crisis the Philippines is experiencing now. We oftentimes, expect that life in a strange world is a bed of roses. We often see journey to the other side of the earth as a venture for a greener pasture. Well, that is not the case during fall and winter (hahaha). Some of my relatives are already jealous of the thought that I will be going to UK days from now. This is what I often tell to them… “I won’t become an instant millionaire once I step that foreign land.” United Kingdom (though it is Harry Potter’s land) is not a land of magic where every poor become rich. It is not a place where unemployed gets an instant employer. Moreover, it isn’t a place where you earn money without working for it…
My fiancé has always wanted me to be realistic. He makes sure I know what I am stepping into when I arrive in UK. That changed my perception of a life lived on the other side of the world. A life lived with strangers. A life lived in a place where your colour does not belong. It’s not a bed of roses, instead it is a thorny path; full of trials and tribulations. It is like being born into a new life. Getting to know, and learning to deal with other people who don’t look like you. It is also learning to live with a partner who came from a different cultural and ethical background. Since the 1st day of April I have been writing about my fears of coming to England.
I have students whose parents are working abroad. Some of them feel they own the whole school. Some of them feel that they could afford to buy everything, including a “PASSED” mark in their report card. They thought so because they are “well off” and their parents could provide every material thing they need. I always tell ask them, “Have you thought of the scenes taken behind the money sent by your parents to you?” “Do you not know they toil night and day just to send the money you often use to buy the luxury you have now?”

Many family members who are left in the Philippines just spend the money sent to them by OFWs because they did not realize how difficult it is working away from home. They were not able to take even just a glimpse of the behind the scenes. I already have let my parents see of these scenes so they would appreciate some of the “help” I will send to them sooner.

[grahamw48]

You're quite right. :xxgrinning--00xx3: Don't come here ! It's a horrible place ! :cwm24:

Only joking. :D

At 22 you'll adapt easily I'm sure. :)

Every country has its good and bad points.

Don't worry about your colour. With Filipinas it really is a non-issue, and culturally we're probably a lot closer to the Phils (religion, music, some food) than say Pakistan or Africa . Millions of immigrants from there living here. :rolleyes:

What people consider 'poverty' here is very far from the GENUINE poverty experienced by many in the Philippines, but we don't all have a lot of spare cash either, as living costs are very high in the UK.

[jlags90]

Graham, I am already thinking of cancelling my flight to the UK... thank you for the second opinion... hahahaha!

[stevewool]

if you and your partner work together you will get to your goals sooner then later, but always remember you have to live here first even before considering sending any money back home

[jlags90]

that's right steve... :) it's no different than marrying and settling down in philippines with a filipino husband.. you have to set everything in your own family in order before reaching out...

[Arthur Little]

that's right steve... :) it's no different than marrying and settling down in philippines with a filipino husband.. you have to set everything in your own family in order before reaching out...

...:iagree:, "Charity begins at home!" And that means looking after your own needs, those of your chosen partner - and any kids you might have together - first and foremost.

[imagine]

jlags , its plain to see by everything you write, that you will adapt easily and do very well here in uk,

i hope after you are settled in uk that you will still keep intouch with the forum, im sure we all would like to know how you are getting on, :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[andy222]

I suppose it is a lot different for us we know our country and we have been to the phils so we have seen both sides. Some of our partners have never been out of their country so they dont know what to expect.

[grahamw48]

I tell you what, it's a lot easier for a person to get an idea of what another country is like than it was years ago, what with the internet and youtube.

How many people actually bother to to do the research though ?

There are dozens of pages about life in my city, even all the pages from the local newspaper every day, plus endless youtube videos.

One of the first things I did before meeting my fiancee was to look up all the info' about her hometown, plus the place where she was working.

The actual houses were on google maps too. :)

For addresses here in England you can even take a 'street-level' view of the house.

Here is my street....downloaded straight from Google maps:
(I could also have taken a view looking straight at my own house, with enough detail to show the house number on the door.)

.
http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/5029/ourstreetongooglemaps.jpg

[jlags90]

...:iagree:, "Charity begins at home!" And that means looking after your own needs, those of your chosen partner - and any kids you might have together - first and foremost.

That's definitely right Arthur...I have always been telling my parents about it.. I have to look after my husband and kids before my parents... Some narrow minded folks will brand me GREEDY.. hahaha!

[jlags90]

jlags , its plain to see by everything you write, that you will adapt easily and do very well here in uk,

i hope after you are settled in uk that you will still keep intouch with the forum, im sure we all would like to know how you are getting on, :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I will for sure imagine...and I mean the (I)... Dave is not an internet enthusiast ... I will find time posting some of my experiences here in the forum.. :)

[jlags90]

I suppose it is a lot different for us we know our country and we have been to the phils so we have seen both sides. Some of our partners have never been out of their country so they dont know what to expect.


I tell you what, it's a lot easier for a person to get an idea of what another country is like than it was years ago, what with the internet and youtube.

How many people actually bother to to do the research though ?

There are dozens of pages about life in my city, even all the pages from the local newspaper every day, plus endless youtube videos.

One of the first things I did before meeting my fiancee was to look up all the info' about her hometown, plus the place where she was working.

The actual houses were on google maps too. :)

For addresses here in England you can even take a 'street-level' view of the house.

Here is my street....downloaded straight from Google maps:
(I could also have taken a view looking straight at my own house, with enough detail to show the house number on the door.)

.
http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/5029/ourstreetongooglemaps.jpg

I have never been to places except the Philippines.. But the internet offers a variety of information (in agreement with Graham).. I used most of the online services available before to get to know more about my fiance.. And I found out, he went to the Philippines (years ago) even though he did not tell me:laugher::laugher::laugher: ..Google earth also helped me track his hiding place... :)) Before we met, I studied English Dining Etiquette via Youtube.. (i have read they are particular with table manners) .. So I impressed him on our first dinner date!!!:laugher::laugher::laugher: Now, I am reading more about Halifax, and the culture of english people..

Just keep learning... Life offers a variety of lessons..

[stevewool]

you learn more once you are living in the place,

[jlags90]

you learn more once you are living in the place,

Experience is the best teacher.. :)

[lastlid]

I tell you what, it's a lot easier for a person to get an idea of what another country is like than it was years ago, what with the internet and youtube.

How many people actually bother to to do the research though ?

There are dozens of pages about life in my city, even all the pages from the local newspaper every day, plus endless youtube videos.

One of the first things I did before meeting my fiancee was to look up all the info' about her hometown, plus the place where she was working.

The actual houses were on google maps too. :)

For addresses here in England you can even take a 'street-level' view of the house.

Here is my street....downloaded straight from Google maps:
(I could also have taken a view looking straight at my own house, with enough detail to show the house number on the door.)

.
http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/5029/ourstreetongooglemaps.jpg

.........and have a peak through Grahams window....:omg: :D

[lastlid]

I used most of the online services available before to get to know more about my fiance.. And I found out, he went to the Philippines (years ago) even though he did not tell me:laugher::laugher::laugher:
Sneaky LOL :icon_lol:

[jlags90]

Sneaky LOL :icon_lol:

Hahaha! Yep... We were on the getting to know stage.. I was making sure I was not competing with others.. :Jump::Jump::Jump:

[lastlid]

Hahaha! Yep... We were on the getting to know stage.. I was making sure I was not competing with others.. :Jump::Jump::Jump:


Yes. And wouldn't want to mess with you judging by the "kungfu" pic.....

[jlags90]

Yes. And wouldn't want to mess with you judging by the "kungfu" pic.....

Hahaha! Why? Who loves to be in a competition anyway?:laugher::laugher:

[grahamw48]

Always best to use webcam... :D
.
http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/1209/chatroomuglies.jpg

[lastlid]

Always best to use webcam... :D
.
http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/1209/chatroomuglies.jpg
:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jlags90]

Yep, video call in Yahoo! or Skype then ready your ears for buzz sounds on the other side, or the woot sound in skype which means somebody is trying to chat him.. Hahaha! Beware also of UNSURE smiles... :Jump: