Just caught a filipino serial cheat 2 timer

[blackcat22]

Guys,

I just returned back from the philippines and to meet a filipino girl I dedicated 5 months of my life courting online just found out as soon as I arrive back home after visiting her for 2 weeks that she is a serial 2 timing ........ (Excuse my language)

Yea 5 months of my life wasted chatting and courting her in relationship.

I met her on an internat dating site in january 2012 and she assured me she is single etc... so relationship begins normally i'm not the type that keep online relationship going and just chatting online for long time, from my expereince I always go to meet them roughly 4 months after meeting them online just to be sure they are who they say they are and not have skelenton in the cuboard.

Prior to going to meet her when I first started chatting with her from dating site, she said she didn't have a job and looking for work then 2 months later she said she now got a job but during our conversation, she always make claim that she in debt and need to go to her friend to borrow money, while not asking me directly I see this as an indirect signal asking me for money help. Since I never met her in person I just Ignored her and continued chat on other subject. many more chats later I still seeing indirect signal asking for money help like saying her dad has taken ill in hospital and need money to discharge him after feeling well again, I just said go ask your sisters for money then don't look at me. she said sisters cannot help, so for me change of subject as I stucked to my guns never to send money to someone I never met in person. So anyway I took the trip to travel there in april, I arrived 2 days earlier than planned with her as a surprise.. I called her up at airport at 10pm. she was like "OMG!! you arrived already this is a surprise, I'm so happy" so i said i'm staying in quezon city same area where she live, so I said come and meet me in 30 mins then she was like oh sorry I can't becoz right now i'm staying with a friend in some place 2hrs taxi ride away (forgot the name what she called the place) so I thought to myself you coudn't have been that happy that I arrive earlier than planned otherwise even with 2hrs taxi ride you would have gotten your ass down here. Then again I was surprise she left her 17yr old sister alone in room(she only came to visit her in manila for a few weeks) and went off somewhere 2hrs taxi ride far away to spend the night with "a friend"

As I found out later, this "friend" she spent the night with on day of my arrival is another european guy. Anyway so she met me the following day and had 2 weeks together during this time I noticed sometimes when she is txting and I move closer, she either stop txting or immediately turn her phone upside down, so I get the feeling she was hiding something from me other times she is care free texting and not bothered if I move closer.(these are when she is replying to her sisters or female friends) The other times when I move closer and she stopped texting or turn the phone over is when she is replying to her other european lover guy.(she is a sly .......)

Ok so this made me smell rat, becoz of this while I was there, I never treat her to anything like shopping or whatever bcoz I knew it will eventually turn out to be a waste of money for me if I did.

So now when I returned back home to England I managed to trace her facebook page and crate a fake female account and send her a friends request with this fake FB account. I myself was not on her facebook and didn't ask her to add me, she kinda asked me but I said I didn't have one. So now when she accepted friends request from my fake facebook account, then I can see she posted some pics 4 days after I letf manila. In thsee pics I see her and her sisters at airport flying back home to their province whith philExpress, then on the pic with her sister I notice an european guy carrying suitcases behind her sister, didn't think much of him as I thought he was just caught in the camera by accident, But when I looked further than the pics taken on same day after they arrived in their province, I see the same european guy poking his head out in one of the photos, so I was like huh! isn't this the same european guy I saw in the pics at the airport? so he is part of their travelling party. so now the thruth finally dawn on me. I soon as I fly back home she went straigh back to the arm of this guy and he flew them to her province for her dad birthday celebration.

Now I sent her I txt that I want to chat with her about something very important. during the chat I laid down my evidence that she has been two timing me and the other guy. then she confess crying like a little ....... she was. So I closed off th chat and I'm done with her.


But the thing is, If I never travelled there to met her as soon as I can I would have continued chatting with her online for ages and wasting my time even more in the process. Even then I still wasted about £3000 just to travel there to find out the truth.

And I was so glad I ignored her subtle hints for money help in the begining as this would have been a waste also.

So please guys, stick to your guns and never sent money to anyone you never met in person even if you met them in person you still need to be careful. In my case I will only send money to someone I'm already married with. If we are not married and just girlfriend/boyfriend/finace stage then no chance of sending money.

[grahamw48]

Thanks for a very funny story. :laugher:

[blackcat22]

Thanks for a very funny story. :laugher:

How is it funny Graham? for me it's not funny at all as I wasted £3,000 travelling to meet a serial 2 timer

You guys that are no longer in the dating game are pretty lucky, for us still searching it's like a pretty wild amzon jungle out there with creepy snakes and dangerous wild animals all over the place out to get you.

[joebloggs]

sorry to hear about you been used :NoNo:

reminds me of a tv program about bar girls in Thailand, the tv crew filmed them for weeks, they would wave :Hellooo: to one western guy at the airport and a few days later they would be back to meet another b/f :doh

[blackcat22]

sorry to hear about you been used :NoNo:

reminds me of a tv program about bar girls in Thailand, the tv crew filmed them for weeks, they would wave :Hellooo: to one western guy at the airport and a few days later they would be back to meet another b/f :doh


Well I was smart enough to limit the damage by not taking her on a shopping spree while out there and not send her money when claiming she is in debt.

The only damage is my huge travel cost to go there.

Am I allowed to post the incriminating pics here for all to see?

[grahamw48]

As long as in fairness you're willing to post your own ? :)

[stevewool]

£3000 to see the truth, what could i do with £3000 ,if you had a great holiday then its £3000 well spent if you did not well next time just chat with the girls till you are 99.9%, also you say you usualy wait 4 months before you go to meet them, so how many times have you been USED, ups been there

[blackcat22]

£3000 to see the truth, what could i do with £3000 ,if you had a great holiday then its £3000 well spent if you did not well next time just chat with the girls till you are 99.9%, also you say you usualy wait 4 months before you go to meet them, so how many times have you been USED, ups been there

How can you be 99.9% sure by sitting behind computer desk chatting with them when some of this people are trickstars. The truth is without travelling there I can't see other way I could have found this out. for instance how will I know she is shying away from me seing certain txt msg she is writing on phone while she is not bothered with others she writes? you can only get this signal by being physically present with her.

3 times now I've been "USED" if we can call it that, 3 other times I've travelled there and not like the person I was chatting with after meeting her in person and called it off myself as her behaviour after meeting her in person does not really impress me.

You see there are not other way to find the truth while you're miles away behind computer screen, the only to find the truth is go there and this cost a lot of money. They don't care becoz they think we westerners grow money in our back garden.

Some will say use private investigator much cheaper than travelling there, but I have read stories some private investgator collaborating with girls to fleece you of money even more, so even this is not an option. If anyone know other way other than travel there yourself please tell me.

[Steve.r]

£3000 is a great holiday for 2 weeks...... That would last my family nearly 6 months.

Sorry to hear you got scammed, but I hope you find a good one sometime soon. When courting my now wife, she never once mentioned money, not even a hint. Of course I support our family now but before, not a penny.

Thanks for sharing your story BC, a good warning for all. :)

[Marie]

ohhh...sorry to hear this blackcat22...shame on her....I am also a filipina and I really dislikes this kind of women...I remember the time that I am on a dating site .....one man who happened to be my friend until now, asked my opinion about the woman that he is chatting with and I'm always telling him not to send money whatever the reason this woman is telling him..........guys you will know naman eh... be sensitive enough on what they are telling you....hope that this experienced of blackcat22 be an eye opener to those who are still searching.....

[blackcat22]

ohhh...sorry to hear this blackcat22...shame on her....I am also a filipina and I really dislikes this kind of women...I remember the time that I am on a dating site .....one man who happened to be my friend until now, asked my opinion about the woman that he is chatting with and I'm always telling him not to send money whatever the reason this woman is telling him..........guys you will know naman eh... be sensitive enough on what they are telling you....hope that this experienced of blackcat22 be an eye opener to those who are still searching.....



Thank u marie,

I think what I will do now to save myself travelling there to find truth. If I meet a new girl. I'll buy her a cheap laptop £300+ and load it with spy software before sending to her via DHL and hope she start using it reguarly and before long hopefully I will start seeing her true colors from who she chat with and where she going online.

Ok yea, so if with this I found out she is a cheat and I break off with her, yea sure she keeps the £300 laptop but I also save myself lots of travelling money I would have had to spend to visit her to find the truth.

[Marie]

that's a good idea but there is much better than that...asked some of our friends here to find you a nice and better person... I'm sure that they will not give you a cheater.... Good luck

[joebloggs]

Thank u marie,

I think what I will do now to save myself travelling there to find truth. If I meet a new girl. I'll buy her a cheap laptop £300+ and load it with spy software before sending to her via DHL and hope she start using it reguarly and before long hopefully I will start seeing her true colors from who she chat with and where she going online.



:NoNo: you can't have a relationship without trust, if she ever found out you've done that and spied on her, I'm sure she will tell you to :furious3:

better if someone on here can recommend someone honest and trustworthy

[Terpe]

Have you considered trying to meet that someone special whilst on holiday?
Then continuing the "relationship" online when you return home.
At least you get to see and meet the person face to face at the outset.
Probably the best places to meet someone is in shopping malls or supermarkets.

Do you remember that song "You Can't Hurry Love" ?

It goes on to say "you just have to wait"

and then "love don't come easy".

Wise words, especially when you ride the merry-go-round of Internet Dating Sites.

Just my 2 centavos

[blackcat22]

:NoNo: you can't have a relationship without trust, if she ever found out you've done that and spied on her, I'm sure she will tell you to :furious3:

better if someone on here can recommend someone honest and trustworthy


oh no, If I send her a laptop with spy software laoded and caught her cheating from there, I won't confront her that this is what I saw or how I found out. I will just go silence on her and that's it as far as i'm concerned keeping her wondering what the hell happened why I go silence on her.


As far as i'm concerned, I will have just saved myself a lots of money on travel cost to visit and that's good enough for me.

Yea thanks, just head out there on holiday and see what you can find is a great idea but i'm not sure if it can prevent you completly falling in the hand of two timers but I agree it's much better option than internet dating sites all of which are infested with creepy crawlys

[grahamw48]

They are, but unfortunately with creepy men as much as creepy women. :NoNo:

A lot of research and even more common sense are all that is required, plus the right attitude towards women in the first place.

[stevewool]

i was talking to Emma for over 2 years before we met each other, no rude talking was mentioned in all that time we spoke and all that Ems spoke about was all true, it was i keeping secretes, but that was then, when we did arrange for my trip over to the phils we had know each other long enough to know that we was ment to be with each other, dont be put of if you are looking for your lady on the internet, just make sure you keep your money in your wallet and dont rush in, wait longer this time, and good luck

[gWaPito]

:NoNo: you can't have a relationship without trust, if she ever found out you've done that and spied on her, I'm sure she will tell you to :furious3:

better if someone on here can recommend someone honest and trustworthy

Got to agree there....cant help thinking, no end of bad karma will come from this covert spying lark.....really, if that's the route you want to take one needs to ask if im ready for any sort of relationship at all. :)

[Iani]

sorry to hear about you been used :NoNo:

reminds me of a tv program about bar girls in Thailand, the tv crew filmed them for weeks, they would wave :Hellooo: to one western guy at the airport and a few days later they would be back to meet another b/f :doh

Think I've said on here before I've spent time out there and got to know how the mindset of thai "bargirls" work. Once they realise you aren't interested in them, and have a steady girlfriend already, you learn a lot.

However it must be understood, firstly even though thais have a slightly different set of ideals when it comes to relationships and what is important to a relationship than westerners, this is even more profound in "bargirls".
Pinoys are not like thais in attitude, perhaps they're more like Spaniards, but again if you go to places "bargirls" work, you will no doubt find yourself being ripped off.

And here we come to the crunch - because men call them "bargirls", and not by the name which they would call them if they were not in south east asia.
Do think - if you were looking for a girlfriend, would you go to the red light district and chat up a lady stood at a street corner in red high heels, short skirt, heavy make-up? Would you hells like!

I'd have to write a whole page to even start to describe what these girls really think.......I'll try to summarise and just say "think barracuda".

Fella, if you are looking for a girlfriend, then you will surely meet someone nice in your town. If you for whatever reason want to find an asian girlfriend, there are many nice girls who just want to meet a nice man who will treat them well and who will make her the centre of his universe.

There are loads of us on here who have asian girlfriends, and the stories I read - often we didn't set out to make it like this, it just happened, we got introduced etc etc

All I can say is - bad expensive lesson learned, but please for goodness sake, ALWAYS let the alarm bells ring if it seems she is asking for money. If she is genuine, she will be a bit ashamed at the thought of asking, and pinoys in particular are used to being workers who will work hard for what they have in life..........but of course, this is only a general thing.

And, ummm, the laptop with spyware thing. If you find a genuine girl and she found out you'd done this to her, then you'd not only lose her, but if she got hold of you, you might lose something else you're very attached to. Would a girl from London put up with that - of course not. Women are women wherever they are, and they appreciate trust.

Above all, the mantra I always go by - and it seldom fails "if something looks or feels dodgy, then it probably is". Not just in relationships

[stevewool]

my Em has never asked for money when she was in the phils and never asked for it here too, but my god she wont shut up about the iphone5:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:, but it falls on deaf ears Em:Rasp::Rasp:

[tone]

Hi mate
I think what you have shared is valuable to many to stumble across this site. So thanks for sharing the tale, I went to great lengths to make sure I wasnt being made a fool but I was fortunate to find nothing.

When I was in Singapore a friend of mine was very concerned I'd fallen for a filipina and tried to disrupt my relationship, but I did my due diligence and most of what he said was rubbish.

Like many here I've got a great friend, wife and lover so I know you can find someone if that's what you want.

What did you think of the Phils? Assume you only went to Manila? Did you venture out further?

If you need a cheap laptop let me know and as for spy software I know of some really good stuff, being a security consultant it's my area!

Cheers
Tone

[andy222]

my Em has never asked for money when she was in the phils and never asked for it here too, but my god she wont shut up about the iphone5:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:, but it falls on deaf ears Em:Rasp::Rasp:

You will give in to her demands steve. :icon_lol:

[andy222]

I was once told province girls are the best/ I dont know how true that is.

[stevewool]

You will give in to her demands steve. :icon_lol:

no i wont, that i do know:)

[andy222]

Ah but would you admit it if you did steve? :icon_lol: I think she can get her way with you.

[Steve.r]

You will give in to her demands steve. :icon_lol:


no i wont, that i do know:)


I think she can get her way with you.

:icon_lol: but Em is the proud owner of a beautiful Louie Vitton bag ...right Steve :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[andy222]

Yes and the iphone5 will match it perfectly.:icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

If you need a cheap laptop let me know and as for spy software I know of some really good stuff, being a security consultant it's my area!


what do u think about this tone ?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/controversial-snoopers-charter-to-cost-25bn-7851308.html
I'll think I'll start paying me £4 a month for a Swiss VPN again soon :rolleyes:

[RickyR]

It's a tough situation, but essentially whether your in the West or East, there are always going to be gold diggers and from various articles and meeting people in the Phils I seriously get the impression that the Filipina dating websites has its fair share of them.
You have to go in with caution, but you can't start a relationship with doubts and a complete lack of trust.

Now i'm going to say something controversial here, and some people may argue with me, but from my observations on this website, most of the people who have successful relationships with Filipina women, are married to women who are of reasonable social standing in the Philippines and held permenant jobs in skilled or more often professional jobs including Doctors, Nurses, Lawyers, Teachers etc. This isn't the rule, but in general. The expections of both parties tend to be more realistic.

The worst situation has to be someone from a very poor background in the Philippines desperately searching for a western man for the sole reason of improving their way of life, and they are often setup for a lot of dissapointment.

[joebloggs]

Now i'm going to say something controversial here, and some people may argue with me, but from my observations on this website, most of the people who have successful relationships with Filipina women, are married to women who are of reasonable social standing in the Philippines and held permenant jobs in skilled or more often professional jobs including Doctors, Nurses, Lawyers, Teachers etc. This isn't the rule, but in general. The expections of both parties tend to be more realistic.


probably true in most cases, but scammers come in all ages, professions, size and colour :rolleyes:

[stevewool]

tut tut tut tut there ricky,utter rubbish, or may be i am just lucky, go in with both eyes open i say and you may find the one person that loves you for who you are,indeed i shall say i am blessed knowing Emma,

[RickyR]

You found a diamond Steve, and I know you appreciate her so much! As I said, just an observation in most cases, but I think both of you knew exactly what your situation was and appreciated the realities of life in the UK and the cultural differences.

[lastlid]

my Em has never asked for money when she was in the phils and never asked for it here too, but my god she wont shut up about the iphone5:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:, but it falls on deaf ears Em:Rasp::Rasp:

You have a heart of stone, Steve. :icon_lol:

[lastlid]

I met a Filipina online before I met my wife. She ended up asking me for money to help her with her nursing exams. I can't remember how much now but it wasn't really a small amount. I refused. It brought our relationship to a close.

My wife has never asked me for any money. Its a question of finding the right girl.

[lastlid]

The worst situation has to be someone from a very poor background in the Philippines desperately searching for a western man for the sole reason of improving their way of life, and they are often setup for a lot of dissapointment.

This isn't completely true as upbringing, beliefs and morals come into it too.

[tone]

what do u think about this tone ?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/controversial-snoopers-charter-to-cost-25bn-7851308.html
I'll think I'll start paying me £4 a month for a Swiss VPN again soon :rolleyes:


I think the authorities are already behind the curve, all the criminals/terrorists will already be using VPN's, data encryption and obfuscation!
They will gather a lot of chatter, look for patterns and lets say we exchanged a few emails that had certain words we would be dawn raided!
Think the gov will follow the Americans, limit the use of encryption, extend the RIP Act 2000 and we are all criminals!
What bothers me is some idiot will leak our data and we'll end up having our I'd stolen...

[gWaPito]

probably true in most cases, but scammers come in all ages, professions, size and colour :rolleyes:

Very true .....that goes for all the other scumbags on this planet...these monsters come in all shapes sizes and colours!

[grahamw48]

This isn't completely true as upbringing, beliefs and morals come into it too.

Seconded. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I married that rare person in the Phils....a fellow Atheist. Tight-fisted too.
Off to a good start. :D

Just a shame she lied about how many kids she had...and their parentage.

[dontpushme]

How is it funny Graham? for me it's not funny at all as I wasted £3,000 travelling to meet a serial 2 timer.

How cow! Why the heck did it cost you over 4 times as much to visit that girl here in the Philippines than it costs my Matt each time he visits (here and when I was still in the US)? Where did the £3,000 go?


Now i'm going to say something controversial here, and some people may argue with me, but from my observations on this website, most of the people who have successful relationships with Filipina women, are married to women who are of reasonable social standing in the Philippines and held permenant jobs in skilled or more often professional jobs including Doctors, Nurses, Lawyers, Teachers etc. This isn't the rule, but in general. The expections of both parties tend to be more realistic.

The worst situation has to be someone from a very poor background in the Philippines desperately searching for a western man for the sole reason of improving their way of life, and they are often setup for a lot of dissapointment.


This isn't completely true as upbringing, beliefs and morals come into it too.

While I agree that more good can come out of a relationship with someone who has already shown that she is used to working for her own wants and needs, I do also agree with lastlid in that not all women in comfortable economic situations have good breeding, and not all poor people are money-hungry. Some of the wisest and most well-bred/well-mannered people I know grew up in Manila slums. That being said, please be advised that a very common Philippine bit of advise (which passes itself off as a joke but is beaten into our heads from an early age) is to look for someone who is old (or older), rich and decrepit (matandang mayamang madaling mamatay). Add the typically coveted white skin and you've got the makings of the perfect sugar daddy for anyone who's interested, especially with these foreign exchange rates. I think blackcat was right to visit the woman and hold off on the gifts until after seeing for himself what kind of person she was. But I also think one should run at the first sign of someone asking a complete stranger for money. Yes, I know some of you talked online and on the phone for a long time before you met, but meeting someone in person and having nonverbal communication then is just not the same as chatting on webcam or hearing the tears in someone's voice.

[dontpushme]

There are loads of us on here who have asian girlfriends, and the stories I read - often we didn't set out to make it like this, it just happened, we got introduced etc etc

:xxgrinning--00xx3: Don't rely solely on dating websites. They're prime targets for scammers.

[gWaPito]

I expect the 3k included flights...if he travelled cattle class, that's say, 700 then nice hotel and food...ive certainly spent that amount quite easily....not everybody goes getto stylie :)

Money well spent. Consider what it could of cost if he had married her and brought her home....a damn sight more than 3k, I can tell ya.

[dontpushme]

Oh yeah! You're right. I didn't think of adding board and lodging costs to the flight! Matt stays in a spare room and eats with the family whenever he visits.

Ugh! blackcat's lucky he didn't lose more than that.:NoNo:

[tiger31]

oh no, If I send her a laptop with spy software laoded and caught her cheating from there, I won't confront her that this is what I saw or how I found out. I will just go silence on her and that's it as far as i'm concerned keeping her wondering what the hell happened why I go silence on her.


As far as i'm concerned, I will have just saved myself a lots of money on travel cost to visit and that's good enough for me.

Yea thanks, just head out there on holiday and see what you can find is a great idea but i'm not sure if it can prevent you completly falling in the hand of two timers but I agree it's much better option than internet dating sites all of which are infested with creepy crawlys hi there sorry to hear of your misfortune to be honest you have just been very unlucky ,its just a risk you have to take in your quest in search of an aisian g f .my own case was very lucky i actually sent my g f a small amount of money before i even met her without her asking me .when after 4 months i felt brave enough to fly 8000 miles to meet her and was so glad i did even after moving in with her living together for 12 months she did not once ask me about money ,but she has (confiscated my iphone steve lol )so i know ive got a good one and nearly 2 years we,re blissfully happy and will never go with a english girl again .so what i,m trying to say don,t give up because once you find the right one it will be worth it trust me ,its those scammers that give the geniune ones a bad name .there are are many forum members g f ,s and wives that have sisters that are looking to meet foreign guys maybe that could be a way ,anyway i hope you find the right girl soon good luck.

[tiger31]

steve buy ya misus her iphone ya tight ass northerner lol

[lastlid]

Some of the wisest and most well-bred/well-mannered people I know grew up in Manila slums.

Yes. My wife wasn't raised in a Manila slum but nonetheless is from a poor background. But that didn't mean she wasn't well brought up.

[lastlid]

steve buy ya misus her iphone ya tight ass northerner lol:xxgrinning--00xx3:

But then Steve may feel compelled to declare that to the forum knowing that many co forumers arent exactly impressed with the iPhone. :icon_lol:

[lastlid]

I can see how it cost 3k. I didnt really keep a tally and treated my visits like a grand holiday. I think my flights alone cost pretty much £1000 as I have the Isle of Man leg to pay for. Plus internal Phils flights for me and the wife. Probably wasn't far off 3k, all in all.

[mickcant]

Now i'm going to say something controversial here, and some people may argue with me, but from my observations on this website, most of the people who have successful relationships with Filipina women, are married to women who are of reasonable social standing in the Philippines and held permenant jobs in skilled or more often professional jobs including Doctors, Nurses, Lawyers, Teachers etc. This isn't the rule, but in general. The expections of both parties tend to be more realistic.

The worst situation has to be someone from a very poor background in the Philippines desperately searching for a western man for the sole reason of improving their way of life, and they are often setup for a lot of dissapointment.

I do agree with this, my ex wife was from a poor family and it seems saw me more or less as a money machine, as we married the experance cost me a lot of money, so caution without the rose tinted glasses is needed:omg:

Most here have been lucky or wise in their choice, but it is hard to know everything about a person in a lond distance relationship:Erm:

My experance has not put me off, I would love to meet anouther Filipina, but my income now retired is just to low.
Love can find a way, but you still need enough money behind you, or you may just have more heartache:NoNo:
Mick.:)

[bigmarco]

Sorry to read of your bad luck but perhaps as this has happened 3 times you need to find a different approach. Personally alarm bells would ring for me if there was any request for money early on and contact should probably have been terminated at this point. Perhaps as has been suggested earlier in this thread a nice holiday with the intention of meeting somebody may be a better approach and then to continue online contact with someone you have already met.
I find it strange that you would seek to start some form of relationship and then send a laptop with spyware loaded . This suggests that perhaps you have a problem with trust and perhaps you are attracting the wrong sort of Lady as most women would run a mile if you done this to them. Anyhow good luck in your search :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

its not down to there position in life now, what job they have to prove they are a good person, i did not have much when i was growing up, there was 13 mouths to feed so you can imagine what it was like then, nothing like now days with the hand outs they seem to get, but the most important thing we got was lots of love and manners, this is what i have given my kids and i hope it gets them what i have got in my life, what i am trying to say is if there is love in the family and respect that is the most important thing to have, in Emmas family you can see that there is plenty of love, they are not rich but neither are they poor, but they have respect for each other and for me too, so to go back to the question about jobs well its our you are brought up in the first place

[grahamw48]

Well-said Steve. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bigmarco]

its not down to there position in life now, what job they have to prove they are a good person, i did not have much when i was growing up, there was 13 mouths to feed so you can imagine what it was like then, nothing like now days with the hand outs they seem to get, but the most important thing we got was lots of love and manners, this is what i have given my kids and i hope it gets them what i have got in my life, what i am trying to say is if there is love in the family and respect that is the most important thing to have, in Emmas family you can see that there is plenty of love, they are not rich but neither are they poor, but they have respect for each other and for me too, so to go back to the question about jobs well its our you are brought up in the first place

Well said Steve. I didn't judge my wife or her family on their material wealth. They have a wealth of Kindness, love, faith and all round happiness that never ceases to impress and uplift me.
Health and happiness before wealth every day of the week

[Iani]

Perhaps as has been suggested earlier in this thread a nice holiday with the intention of meeting somebody may be a better approach and then to continue online contact with someone you have already met.
I find it strange that you would seek to start some form of relationship and then send a laptop with spyware loaded . This suggests that perhaps you have a problem with trust and perhaps you are attracting the wrong sort of Lady as most women would run a mile if you done this to them. Anyhow good luck in your search :xxgrinning--00xx3:

As he said.

So ok, you've been stung too many times, but maybe you're looking for the wrong sort of partner, or maybe - well, I don't like to say, I don't know you - but could part of it be you?

No offence, it's just that I've sometimes (And I bet we all have) met men from the UK, who have travelled to SE Asia to find wives because they are such selfish, bad tempered and unpleasant individuals that British women would tell them to take a running one, and they think Asian ladies are meek, submissive and will put up with anything (Not the case :icon_lol: ).

If you know this isn't you - then you won't be the slightest bit offended by that remark, will recognise it applying to certain men and can laugh along to it :xxgrinning--00xx3:

However, herein lies the problem, as you've probably already worked out. Let's say you're single, and you register on POF to meet someone nearby to your home town (Not a bad site, and it's free, I'd recommend it).
You get messages, and go on the occasional date. Do they all work out? Of course not, because you meet them, and only then do you realise they have some personal disgusting habit, or she's a great Theresa May fan, or you just frankly don't click - and the same for her, she might just not click with some aspect of your personality. That's what dating is all about.

So you've for whatever reason set your sights on the other side of the world - THAT makes it a tad difficult to get to know someone.

It can be even worse if you're meeting on a dating site. Think of how certain girls over there might see a website, which might attract rich (to them) older men, often with some sort of nutty stereotypical image of them, which all they have to do is live up to. It must be like the national lottery to them, or a job site promising executive positions.

I'm not having a go, I'm trying to be helpful. Like I said, I spent enough time in Thailand, where frankly I ended up really despairing of all these western and Aussie men falling for "bargirls", and being taken for vast sums of money.

It's like already said - often the more successful relationships are where both parties are equals in intellect or background. These men were falling for bargirls - just what do they think bargirls really are?

What a lot of men, even those who want to persist in calling them "bargirls" instead of what they would be called over here don't know, is that in many cases, these girls head for the resorts, knowing they will be selling fun times, but deep down hoping they will meet some nice western man who will marry them and look after them. It often actually happens (and in as many cases, doesn't the girl gets lied to, deeply hurt, ends up taking "ya-bah", there is a human cost to this that people don't realise, and which in the end sickened me so much).

Point is, that's little different to using a dating site.

So I've rabbited on, whole point is, if you really think you want to for whatever reason meet someone from SE Asia, well going on vacation there must be a better start than using a dating site.

Some may say use a dating site and set up a few dates on there for your visit. There's something about this approach that doesn't feel right to me, especially if you took it to third base (ahh school terminolgy, lets go have a cig behind the bike sheds).

I don't know what the best idea is. I'd just say don't be going to Subic looking for a girlfriend, unless you used it as a base and found a hotel worker you really got on with, or someone in a restaurant in a nearby town (And be forewarned, some girls working near such a town will on Saturday night head into the discos there to earn a little extra money from men they may meet)

I'm off, I'm turning into a cross between an agony aunt and a correspondent for a channel 4 documentary

[lastlid]

If you speak to someone for long enough, day in day out for several hours a day minimum, every day, you soon pick up in passing, on what you need to know. Unless they are deliberately evasive.

Also, I had previously learnt the hard way from a rather devious and cunning young lady from Scotland...

[stevewool]

we all have been burnt before, do you learn from them, some do some dont, just so glad i am out of that, makes me smile thinking all these beautiful young ladies admirring me :icon_lol::icon_lol:, then this stupid old fool woke up :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

Good post Iani. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Iani]

Thanks Graham

Actually, Lastlid has a very good point there. Speak to someone a lot, and you should find out a lot about them.
Something I do remember from one of those analysis tv programmes, they were discussing the contestants on "Big Brother" and discussing their body language when they first went into the "house".
The expert was saying, that for the first week or two, these people are going to if they wish, put on a front, but eventually with 24/7 coverage, they won't be able to hold that front, and their real self will be uncovered, whether that is a good or bad thing.

Well it's the same with a relationship, and once again I will say - if something seems dodgy, then it probably is.

[grahamw48]

Hence what I said in my previous post...

'A lot of research and even more common sense are all that is required, plus the right attitude towards women in the first place'.

I met my Fiancee through DIA and she is everything and more than I was expecting, but of course that didn't happen by accident.

[stevewool]

DIA thats were i meet Emma:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[jlags90]

Sorry about what had happened to you... That's part of the LOVE MARKET SCENE. You will meet whole lots of frogs (liar, scammers, two-timers and a long list of ill people) before you get to kiss the princess. It's pretty ironic that it happens to people with "REAL INTENTIONS". I would hope that one day, a Filipina scammer would meet another foreign scammer and they scam each other. It would make their lives more colourful. :laugher:

Read this poem I wrote few years ago about internet dating BUT I do hope you won't meet each kind.

http://thinjona.webs.com/apps/blog/show/2871936-the-love-market

[lastlid]

Hence what I said in my previous post...

'A lot of research and even more common sense are all that is required, plus the right attitude towards women in the first place'.

I met my Fiancee through DIA and she is everything and more than I was expecting, but of course that didn't happen by accident.

Driving Instructors Association?
Defense Intelligence Agency?
Detroit Institute of Arts?

:D

[lastlid]

Sorry about what had happened to you... That's part of the LOVE MARKET SCENE. You will meet whole lots of frogs (liar, scammers, two-timers and a long list of ill people) before you get to kiss the princess. It's pretty ironic that it happens to people with "REAL INTENTIONS". I would hope that one day, a Filipina scammer would meet another foreign scammer and they scam each other. It would make their lives more colourful. :laugher:

Read this poem I wrote few years ago about internet dating BUT I do hope you won't meet each kind.

http://thinjona.webs.com/apps/blog/show/2871936-the-love-market

I recall reading your Love Market poem before. Quite poignant. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Lancashirelad]

Well I broke all the rules and sent my girlfriend a little money before we had met in person, but to be fair it was after several months and she had been spending a small fortune texting and calling me which she couldn't afford. We had been chatting sometimes 6 or 8 hours a day and she had given me her Facebook, email and Friendster passwords as mine to her. When we met in person she was exactly like the girl I had been chatting to. Before I'd met her I'd chatted with other girls and saw some were open goldiggers, some others we didn't click. A laptop with spyware is a terrible idea! Anyway I've been lucky and now am married to a lovely kindhearted sweet woman who always is putting others before herself.
Advice I can give is be open and honest and learn to read people's personalities.

[grahamw48]

Sorry about what had happened to you... That's part of the LOVE MARKET SCENE. You will meet whole lots of frogs (liar, scammers, two-timers and a long list of ill people) before you get to kiss the princess. It's pretty ironic that it happens to people with "REAL INTENTIONS". I would hope that one day, a Filipina scammer would meet another foreign scammer and they scam each other. It would make their lives more colourful.

Read this poem I wrote few years ago about internet dating BUT I do hope you won't meet each kind.

http://thinjona.webs.com/apps/blog/show/2871936-the-love-market

Webcam use is recommended too. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

.
http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/1209/chatroomuglies.jpg

[chino]

Sorry to here what has happened to you.... but a few key points i noticed in my semi intoxicated state (I am being truthful - and you can trust me :p )

2 hours away? I have a feeling it's a scammer from AC... (well working in AC not from AC)...

Left alone with a 17 year old in your hotel.... I am sure you have been lucky as some men have been setup by this happening.....

If you have only been stung for £3k think yourself lucky as some people have been stung for a lot worse! Learn from your mistakes and move on....

---

On a side note... I am friends with a very nice filipino who is being supported by a very nice person in Canada (she is engaged to him), who also has a American Boyfriend, Indian Boyfriend, Malaysian Boyfriend and they all provide her with funds. None of them know about each other and she is also a CAM girl. On top of this... when i went for her birthday party in her province some time ago (2007) I met her filipino husband and her baby - With all these lies I am surprised how she knew her own name! She and many others are very switched on and are doing this for money and treat this just like a business.

Warning to everyone... just be careful and they are NOT all like this!

[gWaPito]

This isn't completely true as upbringing, beliefs and morals come into it too.
Have to agree with this :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Without those qualities you got yourself an empty glass. :)

[grahamw48]

Agree with what you say Chino. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You didn't happen to have an Angeles Hash House Harriers shirt on at the Barrio Fiesta today did you ? :Erm:

[blackcat22]

Sorry to here what has happened to you.... but a few key points i noticed in my semi intoxicated state (I am being truthful - and you can trust me :p )

2 hours away? I have a feeling it's a scammer from AC... (well working in AC not from AC)...

Left alone with a 17 year old in your hotel.... I am sure you have been lucky as some men have been setup by this happening.....

If you have only been stung for £3k think yourself lucky as some people have been stung for a lot worse! Learn from your mistakes and move on....

---

On a side note... I am friends with a very nice filipino who is being supported by a very nice person in Canada (she is engaged to him), who also has a American Boyfriend, Indian Boyfriend, Malaysian Boyfriend and they all provide her with funds. None of them know about each other and she is also a CAM girl. On top of this... when i went for her birthday party in her province some time ago (2007) I met her filipino husband and her baby - With all these lies I am surprised how she knew her own name! She and many others are very switched on and are doing this for money and treat this just like a business.

Warning to everyone... just be careful and they are NOT all like this!


Thanks all for your input,

No, her 17yrs sister not left in my hotel, this was the very day I arrived, she left her in her own small room she renting and went and sleep 2hrs drive away apparently with "a friend" who I have now foound out to be her another european lover.

...And my 3k bill is not benefit to her, it's just my cost of flight, 2 weeks hotels etc... infact I didn't spend a penny on her as I have been doubful about her for a while anyway.


Ok sometimes, I think I'm stupid myself, becoz last december I flew out to philippines and arranged 4 weeks holiday to spend with someone I thought was the one(This turned out to be really stupid for me). In total I spent 2 months in south east asia mutitripped to vietnam and thailand before ending up in phils at a total cost of 10-12k pounds.

As soon as I arrived in phils and saw the girl I had arranged to spend 4 weeks with for the first time, I was gutted as she doesn't look in person like what I was attracted to in pics. So now I was stucked, I hadn't planned for a plan B so I just stayed with her anyway for the whole 4 weeks becoz I didnt want to hurt her feelings by just sending her packing on first day when she knew I'm staying for 4 weeks.

Now , thinking back If I can replay that scenario again I would have just only plan to meet for 3 days max someone I'm just meeting for first time, during 3 days if she meet with my expectations then I extend it otherwise I'll let myself free to go find other prospects but I put all my eggs in one basket and it turned out to be just a waste of time.


chino, what you said about your friend in your side note is really true sadly. Running many boyfriends at a time to generate income is a big business everywhere not just in philippines but everywhere russia, ukraine etc.. And this business is thriving beacuse many of us are still prepared to send them noney before meeting them in person, if only one of them sending her money taken time to go there once they'd have picked up signs while with her she is player or butterfly as they call it over there.


However there is anohter filipina I was engaged to Aug. last year, we had a difficult moments then I broke off the relationship but within the past couple of weeks I've patched things up with her now and we are back together again. Hopefully this is the one that finally gets me out of the whole headache of the pinoy dating game.

[joebloggs]

dont beat yourself up too much blackcat22 your not the only one who's been scammed on here, and you will not be the last :NoNo:

hope things work out with your ex :rolleyes:

[Arthur Little]

Also, I had previously learnt the hard way from a rather devious and cunning young lady from Scotland...

... aye :Kilt: ... there're plenty o' them!!

And they ain't a' young either. :NoNo:

[gWaPito]

... aye :Kilt: ... there're plenty o' them!!

And they ain't a' young either. :NoNo:

Rough as old boots and swear like troopers.:NoNo:

[grahamw48]

I don't know why people don't just read the forum properly and take note of advice freely given.

None of this is rocket science, but there will always be those running out of the airport with dick in one hand and wallet in the other. :NoNo:

[chino]

Agree with what you say Chino. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You didn't happen to have an Angeles Hash House Harriers shirt on at the Barrio Fiesta today did you ? :Erm:

nope was not me....

[grahamw48]

Actually, he was an old bloke come to think of it, and I've just noticed your age...unless that's your partner's profile. :D

[Iani]

What Chino said sounds very very familiar. They're all at it.

Hash House Harriers, they get bloody everywhere :icon_lol:

[blackcat22]

Probably a little bit off topic,

I watched a program on BBC last nite about human sex traffickers from nigeria where they traffic women from nigeria to european cities to work as prostitutes. But what shocked me particularly about this story was the fact that the traffickers take the girls to a black magic witch doctor who made rituals on her so she will never think of running away from her pay master when she arrives in europe.

The witch doctor job on her was so effective that after she was rescued, she still feeling urge to go back to her trafficker. She had to be taken back to the witch doctor to make another ritual to undo this urge. Only after this she stopped thinking about going back to trafficker.


Now then, could the same ritual stop our filipino brides running away from their husbands after collecting their UK permanent stay VISA as I've heard happens a lot. :icon_lol:

I've even heard one making all sorts of excuses not to get pregnant by her husband after arrving in UK. Many of her filipino friends suspected she kinda buying time until she get her perm VISA and run away from husband.

[grahamw48]

There are good and bad in all countries.

Thousands of British men go to Thailand, the Philippines and other 3rd world countries every day of the week in search of cheap sex with prostitutes and other girls from poverty-stricken backgrounds.

Many also leave these girls pregnant and destitute and/or post their pictures on the internet without permission, for the sexual gratification of other males.

Naturally they would never consider themselves to be beneficiaries of human trafficking. :rolleyes:

[sars_notd_virus]

Ok sometimes, I think I'm stupid myself, becoz last december I flew out to philippines and arranged 4 weeks holiday to spend with someone I thought was the one(This turned out to be really stupid for me). In total I spent 2 months in south east asia mutitripped to vietnam and thailand before ending up in phils at a total cost of 10-12k pounds.

As soon as I arrived in phils and saw the girl I had arranged to spend 4 weeks with for the first time, I was gutted as she doesn't look in person like what I was attracted to in pics. So now I was stucked, I hadn't planned for a plan B so I just stayed with her anyway for the whole 4 weeks becoz I didnt want to hurt her feelings by just sending her packing on first day when she knew I'm staying for 4 weeks.

Now , thinking back If I can replay that scenario again I would have just only plan to meet for 3 days max someone I'm just meeting for first time, during 3 days if she meet with my expectations then I extend it otherwise I'll let myself free to go find other prospects but I put all my eggs in one basket and it turned out to be just a waste of time.

However there is anohter filipina I was engaged to Aug. last year, we had a difficult moments then I broke off the relationship but within the past couple of weeks I've patched things up with her now and we are back together again. Hopefully this is the one that finally gets me out of the whole headache of the pinoy dating game.

Sorry, i think you are what you say ''stupid'' ....why buy a laptop for someone you dont know and load a spy program :icon_lol::icon_lol:....blackcat, the water can only be tested once you live with your partner inside the same roof but you have to give each other 100% trust at the beginning of the relationship whether LDR(long distance relationship) or not....otherwise, dont look for love let love finds you(it will save you lots of money,...sit there relax enjoy yourself and let the right woman finds you lol) or maybe you are not destined to be with a filipina??:rolleyes::Erm:

[ImaSimpleGirl]

I am sorry for what had happen to you.. I am a Filipina too and as of now I am here facing likely the same case with yours but not yet confirmed..

Hope you will not get tired of searching for your dream girl and not all of Filipinas were like that, you jst have to know them better and longer so that you will know their real intention of having you around.

I just hope you find your way to the right girl soon :)

[Trefor]

OP - sorry to hear of your woes. There are bad people in all corners of the world. Perhaps this lady was hedging her bets in case one relationship didn't work out and things went too far?

All the Skype and email relationships in the world cannot equal one evening physically together. It is only then you will truly know. In my opinion, you may have very strong feelings, or think it is love with the person you are chatting with, but you can't really confirm it properly until you meet. Unfortunately that is not a cheap process when the UK/Philippines are the two locations.

One suggestion for those interested - remember there are a lot of Filipinos in other parts of the world which are less expensive to reach - Dubai being a good example. I wasn't prowling Dubai looking for my Rose, but there she was. I was lucky as I could drive to Dubai to meet her from Muscat at weekend. Since we met we have been to a club called Boracay in Deira, Dubai many times. In my opinion this would be ideal for any UK guy looking for a 'pina girl to share life with. (the words 'fish' and 'barrel' come to mind). I don't mean anything sordid here btw, it is simply a great place to meet Filipinas.