age difference

[denehazel]

hi all.i am a 51 year old man,i am getting married to a 20 year old fillipino girl in 5 weeks time.i have been talking to people and they all say that she is just want to get to another country.they say why does she not get a boy of her own age,and that a girl of her age could not love someone of my age.i have ben there twice now.i have all my plane tickets bought.they have got me thinking.they say they have never heard of a marrage between two people with our age difference working.can anyone advise me.also is there any married couples here with a big age difference.i dont know what to do.hope you can help me.
noel

[eljean]

Just use your instinct...you're much older than her and the most experienced one...we can always say age really doesn't matter when it comes to love or relationship as long you don't feel being use and you see also some effort from the girl to make your relationship work out...anyway we filipina don't really look on the age of the man as long as we find a good and responsible one and willing to take a chance...:)

[Mrs Daddy]

Hi yah noel:Hellooo: I can relate to you problem because hubby is twice my age and our relationship is so far so good.we`ve known each other for almost 3 years now and we`ve been married for almost a year now.you know what dont listen to what other people say,listen to your heart:cwm38: what matters most is as long as you love each other :xxgrinning--00xx3:age doesnt matter really:)we encounter people along the street turning their heads in us but we dont give a damn:Das long as we love each other we dont mind other people.its really true that other people might think that way but let them feel how lucky you are to have a young gal with you:icon_lol: if you think your girl loves you genuinely then go for it let the whole world know that you love each other.good luck pal:Hellooo:

[Mrs Daddy]

Just use your instinct...you're much older than her and the most experienced one...we can always say age really doesn't matter when it comes to love or relationship as long you don't feel being use and you see also some effort from the girl to make your relationship work out...anyway we filipina don't really look on the age of the man as long as we find a good and responsible one and willing to take a chance...:)

I absolutely agree to that:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Peanutz]

hi all.i am a 51 year old man,i am getting married to a 20 year old fillipino girl in 5 weeks time.i have been talking to people and they all say that she is just want to get to another country.they say why does she not get a boy of her own age,and that a girl of her age could not love someone of my age.i have ben there twice now.i have all my plane tickets bought.they have got me thinking.they say they have never heard of a marrage between two people with our age difference working.can anyone advise me.also is there any married couples here with a big age difference.i dont know what to do.hope you can help me.
noel

Hi Dene,

Does she fits Jane Eyre's role? If your answer is yes, then put all your worries behind and go get your happiness...
I would just like to give you some reflections you should dedicate a more serious thinking, because this is what you and your future wife will deal with once you are married as a couple.

The age gap:
You are 51 and she is twenty, no one can command a heart when you are trully in love with a person but the age really matters, ten years age difference is not the same as twenty. It involves the maturity level of a person, do you remember yourself at the age of twenty? and your maturity level at that age? Does your wife can cope with a more higher maturity level of conversation? Will she feel comfortable if you take her in your group of friends of your age? She will be on her 30's in ten years and you are in your 60's can you imagine you and her after that lenght of time? Put another ten years and she will be 40 and you 70, is she ready to get all through this whatever happens? You will tell me, you are all what she wants and that is your happiness to be together and you are right but what about dealing with this things in our everyday life, to live with this things in our everyday reality? Is she mentally prepared for that? You have already reached a certain maturity and your future wife is just on the beginning of her way knowing and learning what is this world we are living in.

The risk:
Since she is at the Lolita's age, her maturity level is not yet well shaped. You know it by yourself all the risk that you are going through by getting married with someone younger than you and that risk involved your long term happiness.

You have to consider a lot of things because you know that this will not be easy, if you both feel that you are all ready to go through all this come what may it is your own choice and no one can understand yourself more than you. Try to detached yourself from what you feel and seek answers for all your doubts with a calm mind....remember, this is a lifetime happiness your happiness and hers.

[tiger@tigress]

Hi Dene,

Does she fits Jane Eyre's role? If your answer is yes, then put all your worries behind and go get your happiness...
I would just like to give you some reflections you should dedicate a more serious thinking, because this is what you and your future wife will deal with once you are married as a couple.

The age gap:
You are 51 and she is twenty, no one can command a heart when you are trully in love with a person but the age really matters, ten years age difference is not the same as twenty. It involves the maturity level of a person, do you remember yourself at the age of twenty? and your maturity level at that age? Does your wife can cope with a more higher maturity level of conversation? Will she feel comfortable if you take her in your group of friends of your age? She will be on her 30's in ten years and you are in your 60's can you imagine you and her after that lenght of time? Put another ten years and she will be 40 and you 70, is she ready to get all through this whatever happens? You will tell me, you are all what she wants and that is your happiness to be together and you are right but what about dealing with this things in our everyday life, to live with this things in our everyday reality? Is she mentally prepared for that? You have already reached a certain maturity and your future wife is just on the beginning of her way knowing and learning what is this world we are living in.
The risk:
Since she is at the Lolita's age, her maturity level is not yet well shaped. You know it by yourself all the risk that you are going through by getting married with someone younger than you and that risk involved your long term happiness.
You have to consider a lot of things because you know that this will not be easy, if you both feel that you are all ready to go through all this come what may it is your own choice and no one can understand yourself more than you. Try to detached yourself from what you feel and seek answers for all your doubts with a calm mind....remember, this is a lifetime happiness your happiness and hers.

Yes people always say age doesnt matter... but the fact it it does in the long run....

[KeithD]

Yes people always say age doesnt matter... but the fact it it does in the long run....
I matters for eveyone regardless of age or gap, the divorce rate is the same for all age spreads whether it is 0% or 400%

[singkit]

hi all.i am a 51 year old man,i am getting married to a 20 year old fillipino girl in 5 weeks time.i have been talking to people and they all say that she is just want to get to another country.they say why does she not get a boy of her own age,and that a girl of her age could not love someone of my age.i have ben there twice now.i have all my plane tickets bought.they have got me thinking.they say they have never heard of a marrage between two people with our age difference working.can anyone advise me.also is there any married couples here with a big age difference.i dont know what to do.hope you can help me.
noel

MMmmm.:Erm:Love conquers all:yikes:Love can move mountains:omg:But this applies to true love :love:I am not in the position to judge you and your relationship with young fiancee'. But the way I feel it, you're are NOT even sure to yourself about pursuing your plan to marry this girl. The fact that you log in to this forum,post a message, and seek help are evidence enough that you have DOUBTS with whatever is now going on to your life. I know it's lonely being alone. But read between these lines... Everybody needs someone to love...and BE LOVED.:smileybigtmouth:

Just thought this might help. In the end it's still you, who can really help yourself. Your decision is at your own risk. Follow your heart but don't forget your brain. Have a nice day!

[joebloggs]

age shouldn't be a problem, but like any relationship, whats more important does she feel the same way about you, as you do about her :Erm:

secret of success
by Professor Charles Hill of Whittier College in Los Angeles. He analysed the relationships of 231 couples from a Boston college over a period of 25 years, and found five basic, almost simplistic, rules for achieving marital success. They are:

– Don't pick up people from bars
– Don't date anyone much prettier or uglier than yourself
– Choose someone your own age
– Try to go for someone of roughly the same intelligence
– Have sex often with this one partner

Professor Hill claims that those who followed these rules appeared most likely to have high self-esteem and a good and stable relationship, long-term.

:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

Professor Hill was later discovered beheaded in his freezer with his wife watching Deal or No Deal while whistling Dixie :rolleyes:

[bigtombowski]

I always think that if i am a much older man and i have a wife MUCH younger and we have kids, then there will be young children who will watch me vegetate and grow old and die off, they won't get the best of me. . . . and i always wonder how a young girl could possibly find a man double her age sexually attractive. I really don't mean to offend anyone here, coz i also believe that LOVE CONQUERS all . . .

anyway, please take in the spirit intended!

tom

[andypaul]

age shouldn't be a problem, but like any relationship, whats more important does she feel the same way about you, as you do about her :Erm:

secret of success
by Professor Charles Hill of Whittier College in Los Angeles. He analysed the relationships of 231 couples from a Boston college over a period of 25 years, and found five basic, almost simplistic, rules for achieving marital success. They are:

– Don't pick up people from bars
– Don't date anyone much prettier or uglier than yourself
– Choose someone your own age
– Try to go for someone of roughly the same intelligence
– Have sex often with this one partner

Professor Hill claims that those who followed these rules appeared most likely to have high self-esteem and a good and stable relationship, long-term.

:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Wise words but what happens if your a taxi driver:Erm:

I think opposite do attarct but things will change over the years, and more importantly once your Wife is in the UK. Will she want to go out lots is she in to sporting or engertic actvities and are you?

Like others mention will you have seperate friends? Some of my wifes friends in the UK are only 18/19, while im 32 luckily we get on and her best mate is in my age group, she also likes to go out clubbing so if i don't want to go as i have seen that and been there, i know she with some one sensible. Also some of my mates still want to go out so i dont look to outta place if we are in some trendy place up town.
But if thats not really your cup of tea it could be a huge strain on the relationship.

All this depends on the two indivuals but i knew my Wife liked to go out clubbing in Manila and was part of what we have in common ie musical tastes etc.

[Mrs Daddy]

I always think that if i am a much older man and i have a wife MUCH younger and we have kids, then there will be young children who will watch me vegetate and grow old and die off, they won't get the best of me. . . . and i always wonder how a young girl could possibly find a man double her age sexually attractive. I really don't mean to offend anyone here, coz i also believe that LOVE CONQUERS all . . .

anyway, please take in the spirit intended!

tom

I do believe your opinion about this topic.but how would a young girl go for a guy same as her age when at the end their relationship will not work out.I find older man mature enough and also they have lots of experiences in life which young man dont.I find young man but not all just some of them is irresponsible.why theres a lot of teenage girls end up pregnant now simply because young men dont take any responsibilities.I find young men to be more outgoing and happy go lucky for short they`re not thinking of their future again its not in general.As far as I know my relationship with my hubby is so far so good its a matter of keeping it spark always.I dont care what people would say about our age differences as long as I know deep inside my heart I love him dearly.:cwm38:

[KeithD]

http://www.ssb.no/english/magazine/art-2005-01-31-01-en.html

[Mrs Daddy]

http://www.ssb.no/english/magazine/art-2005-01-31-01-en.html

Girls mature at an earlier age than boys and will therefore tend to marry somewhat older men---------I completely agree to that :xxgrinning--00xx3: thats what my hubby said as well:icon_lol:

[KeithD]

That explains my missus being 10 years older then :rolleyes:

I was after her money :Erm:

[bigtombowski]

interestingly, just before work i am reading this and watching Trisha . . .

and the topic is "My Thai Bride is 40 years younger than me" and then they called the thai chick and it sounded like she's a "working girl", after the guy telling the audience that she's a virgin lol!

There was a guy in the audience married to a filipina who gave some advice -- pretty much "go to the girl's country" LOL!

anyway .. . .

better get back to Trisha ;)

[joebloggs]

interestingly, just before work i am reading this and watching Trisha . . .

and the topic is "My Thai Bride is 40 years younger than me" and then they called the thai chick and it sounded like she's a "working girl", after the guy telling the audience that she's a virgin lol!

There was a guy in the audience married to a filipina who gave some advice -- pretty much "go to the girl's country" LOL!

anyway .. . .

better get back to Trisha ;)

how i miss trisha !!!, before work !!!, ive been at work since 8:30 !!! , dont finish til 5:30 and people thought the sweat shops of manchester were gone 100 years ago :o(

i missed, i think it was not trisha but that other tw!t, the jeremy kyle show ? the guy i'm wating for someone to knock out :o), a while a go he had the filipina woman gina french who killed/murdered her british husband, and my wife watched it and told me he was giving her a very hard time...

if you have'nt heard of gina french, All Gina wanted was to help support her family and protect them from the elements with a house made of stone. Her dream took her from the Philippine mountains, through the dancing bars of Manila, to the jetset worlds of New York and Brunei. But then, Gina married a British man, and soon she found herself stranded in the seemingly cold and hostile world of the north of England, trapped with a small child and a man who seemed determined to hurt them both in every way he could. "For a House Made of Stone" is a uniquely inspiring story of survival and hope.

*** no need to buy her book, read about her amazing life here :o) ***
http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/news/tm_objectid=16826191&method=full&siteid=109975&headline=i-am-a-murderer-a-tees-woman-tells-her-story-name_page.html

[aromulus]

Sorry...

30 years gap........ What do you really have in common..?

Latest headbanging music (if you can call it that)???:Erm:

Disco dancing?:omg:

Glass of port and and a lump of stilton while watching a repeat of Inspector Morse???:Erm:

Reading books like Harry Potter, Famous Five, Noddy, Paddington Bear Adventures?:Erm:

Good luck and God Bless.

I think I am making myself unpopular, here....:NoNo:

[joebloggs]

I think I am making myself unpopular, here....:NoNo:

what you mean you were never popular on here :D

joking aside

30yrs is a big gap, but then you never know til you try.. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bigtombowski]

in that case i need someone who is MINUS 5 years old ;) ... . hahahah!

nope, i'm loving the 5and a half year age gap between me and mar :D:D:D

[baboyako]

I think I am making myself unpopular, here....:NoNo:

20-50
30-60
40-70
50-80

makes more sense as you get older... I've said this before - that my uncle married an 18yr yr old when he was 48 - and their daughter was at the wedding :doh :NoNo:

sure it works for some, not for me though. depends on the girl & the guy - just like every over relationship. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aromulus]

20-50
30-60
40-70
50-80

makes more sense as you get older... I've said this before - that my uncle married an 18yr yr old when he was 48 - and their daughter was at the wedding :doh :NoNo:

sure it works for some, not for me though. depends on the girl & the guy - just like every over relationship. :xxgrinning--00xx3:


Can you get season tickets for viagra...???

[KeithD]

Can you get season tickets for viagra...???
For his tongue? :Erm: :Rasp:

[bigtombowski]

you dirty dirty minded man Keith! lol!

[cassie]

for danehazel...i think age doesnt matter as long as you love the person...if you love each other go for it!no to worry...

[Alan]

Hi Denehazel,

Just to let you know that my wife, Hanna, is 23 and I am 53.
We get on brilliantly together - I think it is possibly because she has an old head on young shoulders - and I am just a big kid!!!! :D

Alan.

[Peanutz]

Hi Denehazel,

Just to let you know that my wife, Hanna, is 23 and I am 53.
We get on brilliantly together - I think it is possibly because she has an old head on young shoulders - and I am just a big kid!!!! :D

Alan.

Vi auguro una felice vita insieme!!!:Hellooo::Hellooo:

:rolleyes:sigh* che bella vedere la gente felice...:rolleyes:assistere alla gioia altrui sono le emozioni ineguagliabile è come sentire la loro stesse emozioni e vivere la loro stesse vita...:rolleyes:

[bigtombowski]

not fair - that's italian!

wots that in english??

[Alan]

Grazie molto per i vostri buoni desideri.

Alan

[bigtombowski]

ARRRRGGGGHHHH

www.filipnoUK.co.uk

[Peanutz]

Vi auguro una felice vita insieme!!!:Hellooo::Hellooo:

:rolleyes:sigh* che bella vedere la gente felice...:rolleyes:assistere alla gioia altrui sono le emozioni ineguagliabile è come sentire la loro stesse emozioni e vivere la loro stesse vita...:rolleyes:


I wish you both a Happy life together!!!

It feels so good to see people happy...to witness someones happiness is an uncomparable emotions, you can almost feel their own emotion and live their own life...

I hope that translation would fit it:D

[bigtombowski]

thanks!

[Alan]

Ooooops! - sorry Tom. :)

[IainBusby]

Vi auguro una felice vita insieme!!!:Hellooo::Hellooo:

:rolleyes:sigh* che bella vedere la gente felice...:rolleyes:assistere alla gioia altrui sono le emozioni ineguagliabile è come sentire la loro stesse emozioni e vivere la loro stesse vita...:rolleyes:


I googled Translate + Vi auguro una felice vita insieme and the hit at the top of the list read "Life is too short to drink bad wine" - rather apt I'd say!!!

Iain.

[bigtombowski]

ahhh?

in that case, we could use that philosophy to justify anything IMHO. . .


just a thought

[Peanutz]

I googled Translate + Vi auguro una felice vita insieme and the hit at the top of the list read "Life is too short to drink bad wine" - rather apt I'd say!!!

Iain.


:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:Red wine for sure!

[Liliput39]

hi all.i am a 51 year old man,i am getting married to a 20 year old fillipino girl in 5 weeks time.i have been talking to people and they all say that she is just want to get to another country.they say why does she not get a boy of her own age,and that a girl of her age could not love someone of my age.i have ben there twice now.i have all my plane tickets bought.they have got me thinking.they say they have never heard of a marrage between two people with our age difference working.can anyone advise me.also is there any married couples here with a big age difference.i dont know what to do.hope you can help me.
noel

I think the question you want to ask yourself and your girlfriend is if what you feel for each is for real, afterall, getting married is a serious matter I am sure you know that. There is a saying that 'age doesn't matter', I think it only matters if you let it. I've heard of many married couple of big age gap that seem to have worked and still working, I might add especially between Filipinas and foreigners. Perhaps because most of the older guys who married younger women in the Phils are looking for someone who will be contented and happy to be loved and to love in return. I think if you will agree with me guys, that your Filipina wives are loyal, faithfull, funny and contented as long as treated rightly and fairly.

[vbkelly]

I think the question you want to ask yourself and your girlfriend is if what you feel for each is for real, afterall, getting married is a serious matter I am sure you know that. There is a saying that 'age doesn't matter', I think it only matters if you let it. I've heard of many married couple of big age gap that seem to have worked and still working, I might add especially between Filipinas and foreigners. Perhaps because most of the older guys who married younger women in the Phils are looking for someone who will be contented and happy to be loved and to love in return. I think if you will agree with me guys, that your Filipina wives are loyal, faithfull, funny and contented as long as treated rightly and fairly.

thats the real loves :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[singkit]

Hi Denehazel,

Just to let you know that my wife, Hanna, is 23 and I am 53.
We get on brilliantly together - I think it is possibly because she has an old head on young shoulders - and I am just a big kid!!!! :D

Alan.

I kinda love that!:xxgrinning--00xx3: Love is like a dance...It takes two to tango...:smileybigtmouth:

[Shifty-Sidney]

Age is just a number! - but how old do you feel? and therefore how old (or young) do you behave and act?
If you genuinely feel and behave much younger than your years, you can be like best friends - the age gap can mean nothing - as long as you dont behave like her father. You will have to learn to be her friend and love the things she likes or wants to experience too. Love is a two way street - sometimes its hard, but worth it in the end

[ervenescence]

AGE GAP>>>the never ending issue, theres nothing wrong with the big age difference, its just the people and the sorroundings who make it feel bad, their suspecting eyes and dirty minds of why this issue has never died.

If the couple who happened to be in this situation, the age difference thing, so deal with it, its their choice. Leave them alone, its not our business to question their lives.

[KeithD]

Erv......you may need this www.specsavers.com (http://www.specsavers.com)

:xxparty-smiley-004:

[ervenescence]

That's my big sunglass keith, specsavers are not big enough to cover my face..:D

[KeithD]

Now you've gone and changed it, my previous post makes me look stupid :Cuckoo: :D

[ervenescence]

I took my sunglass off because the sun has gone hiding..:Rasp:

[bigtombowski]

Now you've gone and changed it, my previous post makes me look stupid :Cuckoo: :D

keith -- you don't need any help :)

[KeithD]

keith -- you don't need any help :)

So how's the broken leg you'll have in 10 minutes Tom :Cuckoo: :Rasp:

[bigtombowski]

women want mediocre men and keef is working hard at becoming as mediocre as possible! :D

[KeithD]

Their is a big age difference between me & my nan, but she's still my nan :Erm: :Cuckoo:

:NoNo: I don't get much Rep for all this excellent advice I give out!

[bigtombowski]

maybe me and your nan should hook up :)

[KeithD]

It would be a pleasure putting a shark hook through your lip on her behalf :xxsmilie_auslachen:

[bigtombowski]

lol

take the chav out of liverpool but u cant take the liverpool out of the chav :)