Doubts.....is it ok in a relationship?

[Les_lady888]

I have a bf in UK and we are already on our 7th month of this online relationship. We are supposed to meet in June 2007 but since I can not take a holiday off on that month coz of work reasons so we postponed it to July. Then he told me that he still needs to sort out his bills and save more money so he requested that he will postpone his trip to Nov 2007. Just recently, he told me again that he cant make it coz he had some financial problems and cant afford to come to the Philippines this year. He promised to come on Jan 2008. Im kind of disappointed now...although I believe he means so well when he said he really wants to see me and to be with me. Tell me what you think please.....coz Im not sure if I should start to doubt now. He knows I'm already disappointed but I still do love him and I know deep in my heart that he truly loves me. I need your opinion on this please....Thanks.

[jeffro]

Please try not to think negative thoughts,it can and often does ruin a relationship .For many ,its hard to save ,and it can take a long time for some to save enough to be able to visit.. I am sure he wants to give you a nice time and bring gifts for your family and of course youself ,and try and make you so happy and feel romantic .I know your heart must be sad ,but time passes so quickly,and before you know you will both be huggin and kissin!!.Please at least wait until January,and for now try to understand his financial position ,and keep smiling and chatting online and be happy and in love ,its a beautiful feeling,and im sure someday you will both be man and wife,and so in love for evermore .remember,absence makes the heart grow fonder!!!
hope your both so happy soon ,!!!
best wishes to you and your bf,
jeff and Maria .

[Les_lady888]

Thanks so much Jeff and Maria...that makes me feel much better. I know he loves me...maybe Im just becoming so impatient. I have been looking forward to meeting him and am really so excited so when I learned he cant make it again I got really disappointed.

[joebloggs]

well i've been there, i chatted to a filipina, who's now is my wife, after chatting for a few months, she wanted to come and see me, but becuase she was at uni and chances of getting a vistor visa were small she didn't, and i said i would see her, then i delayed it again and again, because of work, family problems etc. until she told me if i didn't come by such a date don't come at all, well i didn't go that time, but a few months later i did. I think we had been chatting for must be more than 2 years before we actually meet :omg:. so it could have put doubts in her mind, am i telling the truth, was i already married :omg:, what ever reason, long distance relationships are difficult enough without other problems..

has he changed towards you ? or is he still the same he was when you first started chatting? . maybe he is telling the truth, many people have got debts in the uk, and i'm one of them :cwm3:, but if he's changed towards you, maybe hes already married, found someone else or whatever reason, but you really need to have a frank talk with him and find out if money is the only reason or are there other reasons why hes not coming to see you.. :Erm:

[Les_lady888]

well he got a little busy lately because of work..so we dont chat much lately...but I believe he is busy at work. I got even worried that he seems neglecting himself for trying to work too hard because he really wants to come here. When I told him that...thats the time he told me he thinks he cant still afford to come yet. I really want to understand him but I dont know....Im not really doubting him....It is just that I feel really disappointed :( Maybe because he promised me that nothing will stop him from coming this Nov...and so I hold on to that promise too much and got really so excited.....and now, he said he cant....well, how am I supposed to feel?

[jeffro]

well he got a little busy lately because of work..so we dont chat much lately...but I believe he is busy at work. I got even worried that he seems neglecting himself for trying to work too hard because he really wants to come here. When I told him that...thats the time he told me he thinks he cant still afford to come yet. I really want to understand him but I dont know....Im not really doubting him....It is just that I feel really disappointed :( Maybe because he promised me that nothing will stop him from coming this Nov...and so I hold on to that promise too much and got really so excited.....and now, he said he cant....well, how am I supposed to feel?

:)Of course you feel dissapointed,and its only human nature to feel like you do,especially after he promised you he would come November and you built your hopes up and were so excited,and he is most probaly feeling sad he let you down,and everyone understands,i would have been hurt too and everyone :cwm34:,but forgive him because he may be hurting too he couldnt make it..Talk to him,and ask him to be honest if he really is coming January ,im sure he will:),tell him your sad and worried , he will understand how you feel.:) .,
Keep smilin:)!!!!

[KeithD]

God help him when it comes to paying the visa fees if he can't afford the holiday. They're bound to go up again next year.

[Mrs Daddy]

God help him when it comes to paying the visa fees if he can't afford the holiday. They're bound to go up again next year.

Blimey...:Erm: they`re trying to do anything to put off all visa applicants to coming to uk:doh not a very good idea:NoNo:

[cryingbaby]

hello ...its just simple les, dont live your life to it..if he comes, then he comes..i dont want to bring negative thoughts to you but u just cant be sure its love without meeting the person first..anything can change when u meet so dont live your life by it..just go with the flow, but stick to your commitment to him and be faithful of course until he arrives in his promised time..just take it slow and lite..for some reasons, there are alot of cases where online relationships has been proven a "wow" relationship..alot would send you money and supports without knowing the real you, or alot of women believes on things the man online is telling us without him shedding a penny..so its not true that western guys get a pinay girl because of money or either way...its must be the mystery of love i guess..but nothing is certain until you have the chance to get to know the person, spent time with him, talked with him, hold him, looked at him in his eyes, heard him..we can't really tell..so be patient, but be prepared also for whatever that might come..if he still wont come, then evaluate your relationship, check the efforts he did for you, like the time you spent talking online, his reactions if you got problems, financial support(not saying that its a pre-requisite but that actions is already a proof that a person is serious in meeting you coz he's investing something), or does he remembers the special events in your life, like birthday, anniversary, or even the phonecalls, text messages,..there's alot of reasons really u could evaluate to justify your doubt..just stay cool, beautiful so he'll be more amazed when he arrives..hehehe "patience is a virtue"

[les_taxi]

hi everyone im the guilty boyfriend,thank you for your replies to my girl.i am glad she posted her worries on here and thanks for cheering her up.like everthing in life i started out with the best intentions of meeting when promised but due to bad luck and lack of forsight things went amiss. my car is my tool for work(hence lestaxi) i had problem after problem with it,repairs cost me at least £1500 in 3 months!!! this totally ruined my plan to go when promised.i felt awful and sad that i would have to postpone again.i really do try keep to my promises and felt i may loose my girl over this.she has been great tho and i know how upset she has been,but she has supported me.i am going in january there is no doubt on that.i dont think she trully will believe it til i take photo of my tickets tho! i dont blame her and im looking fwd to seeing her post on here when she has seen my ticket! i really do care so much for her-hey im sending her my beloved england shirt so i must do lol. thanks again for trying to reasurre her.
les.

[Paul&Jesse]

Good luck, when you get there it will hopefully be the time of your life.

[les_taxi]

thanks,i have no doubt that maricel is the one for me.

[tiger@tigress]

hi everyone im the guilty boyfriend,thank you for your replies to my girl.i am glad she posted her worries on here and thanks for cheering her up.like everthing in life i started out with the best intentions of meeting when promised but due to bad luck and lack of forsight things went amiss. my car is my tool for work(hence lestaxi) i had problem after problem with it,repairs cost me at least £1500 in 3 months!!! this totally ruined my plan to go when promised.i felt awful and sad that i would have to postpone again.i really do try keep to my promises and felt i may loose my girl over this.she has been great tho and i know how upset she has been,but she has supported me.i am going in january there is no doubt on that.i dont think she trully will believe it til i take photo of my tickets tho! i dont blame her and im looking fwd to seeing her post on here when she has seen my ticket! i really do care so much for her-hey im sending her my beloved england shirt so i must do lol. thanks again for trying to reasurre her.
les.

Wow u come out... the guilty boyfriend... good luck to both of you :BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy::BouncyHappy:

[KeithD]

Thankfully I never said anything stupid, so don't have to hide every knock at the door :xxparty-smiley-004:

[Maria_2300]

This forum really helps a lot of people especially to les_lady and lestaxi with the situation they are facing now. The guilty boyfriend came out and telling you the truth les_lady and of course the people in this forum. It says a lot girl so, just be patient, be understanding to his financial situation and yes, time flies so fast these days, the next thing you its Christmas already and boom...January 2008! My boyfriend is in USA, far from me also so, I can relate to what you are feeling now though we have met in person already. Long distance relationship is not easy but as long as you trust,and love each other, and you have faith that everything will work out just fine, things will be fine for you both. So, for now, have patient dear, continue chatting with your boyfriend, be nice and January will come sooner than you think...

[Les_lady888]

Hello everyone! Thanks for all your advices. Im fine now. My bf and I are ok too. I've already understood his predicaments and I believe in my heart that he truly cares for me. I guess, I have to start counting the months now eh?...till January comes :)

[charlwill]

Lucky girl!!!! 5 months isn't too long to wait. Be happy as you are and look forward in seeing the man of your life. God bless.:):):)

[allyn]

Hello everyone! Thanks for all your advices. Im fine now. My bf and I are ok too. I've already understood his predicaments and I believe in my heart that he truly cares for me. I guess, I have to start counting the months now eh?...till January comes :)

hi!!!
im glad you too where able to understand each other now:)...
like my husband is told me when we are in that kind of stage and upto this moment that were already married and still far from each other
:
THERES MORE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THOSE WHO WAIT:xxgrinning--00xx3:

keep on smiling:cwm12:

[Les_lady888]

Thanks Allyn and to everyone too.....Im happy with my darling Les...and I believe we will soon be together....He is the sweetest guy I ever met....He is such a darling...How can I ever refuse to wait for him??:cwm12:...But I really hope we wont be waiting for much longer to be together for always.
May I ask Allyn when did u get married and how long should you wait till you will be together with your hubby?

Happy day to everyone!!! :Hellooo::Hellooo:

[Les_lady888]

Lucky girl!!!! 5 months isn't too long to wait. Be happy as you are and look forward in seeing the man of your life. God bless.:):):)

Thanks charlwill....Im so excited myself...I hope and pray nothing will come our way to stop our meeting this time.

[charlwill]

Done that, been there:D. I know exactly what you feel right now. Put you trust to the Lord, pray earnestly and fervently. He will answer on HIS own perfect time. God bless.

[allyn]

Thanks Allyn and to everyone too.....Im happy with my darling Les...and I believe we will soon be together....He is the sweetest guy I ever met....He is such a darling...How can I ever refuse to wait for him??:cwm12:...But I really hope we wont be waiting for much longer to be together for always.
May I ask Allyn when did u get married and how long should you wait till you will be together with your hubby?

Happy day to everyone!!! :Hellooo::Hellooo:

we just got married last march 22,2007....
i dont know how long i should more wait to be with my hubby,,,coz im waiting for my visa...

you know what me and my hubby are friends more or less a year and had a realtionship for 6 month then he proposed to me to marry him but we havent seen each other in person...
he promise to come and meet me for almost 4 times and he never came because of lots of setback...
but he did came and meet me,,,and then the second time he came here in the philippines to marry me...
he got into lots of financial trouble just to be with me,,,,i really feel bad about it and also feel guilty for almost loosing hope that were not going to see each other and there he is trying very hard to be with me and making me feel secure that he is serious with our relationship...

good luck with you and your bf...:xxgrinning--00xx3:
keeps on smiling....:cwm38:

sorry for my horrible spelling and grammar:doh

[KeithD]

sorry for my horrible spelling and grammar:doh

Looks the same as Rob's so don't worry :D

[Peanutz]

The WAITING game is always frustrating and stressful! But once you have come over it...BLISS...
Goodluck!

[singkit]

It's a happy ending after all:BouncyHappy: Just love to read thread like this than the annulment issue:NoNo: It breaks my heart. :xxangry-smiley-038: