Alan
9th August 2007, 17:33
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as Euro English.
In the first year the soft "c" will be replaced by an "s". Sertainly, this will make some sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will then be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter less. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by the "f". This will make words like fotograf shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the trouble of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar unesesary "o" can be droped from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatons of leters.
After zis fifz yar ve vill hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it esi tu onderstnd ech ozer. Ze drem vil finaly kum tru!
Al:)
In the first year the soft "c" will be replaced by an "s". Sertainly, this will make some sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will then be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter less. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by the "f". This will make words like fotograf shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the trouble of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar unesesary "o" can be droped from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinatons of leters.
After zis fifz yar ve vill hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it esi tu onderstnd ech ozer. Ze drem vil finaly kum tru!
Al:)