jeffro
13th August 2007, 18:04
:)hi everyone,heres a few jokes,:omg:,if easily offended pls dont read all of them:):NoNo::NoNo:
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
where you left it.
An irishman found a crate of milk in a field,ran home ,and told his friend Paddy he had found a cows nest .
Later the same night they hijacked a submarine and aked for £1000000 and 2 parachutes,
when that that failed they made a suicide pact ,agreed to gas each other and jumped in the North Sea.
New cigarretes for gays,2 puffs and there gone.
A man went to the maternity ward to see his new born baby.The midwife said im afraid something is wrong with your baby sir,`Oh my God `,he cried.
They went along a corridor,the first room had a baby with 2 arms but no legs.
`Is that my baby?`,he asked,`No,im afraid its worse`,the midwife answered.
The next room,a baby was lying with no arms and no legs.
`Is that my baby?,again,the .midwife replied `Im sorry,im afraid its worse .
The next room,there was just a head on a pillow,
`Is that my baby ?`he asked horrified,,and again ,the midwife replied,
`No,im so sorry,im afraid its worse than that.
In the last room there was just an eye on a pillow.
`Is that my baby,pleaseee?`,he asked.
The midwife smiled at him and said `yes,thats your baby,but im afraid its blind.:yikes:`:NoNo::NoNo:
`James,take off my dress`
`M`lady!!!
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my bra`
`M`lady!!!!`
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my knickers`
`M`LADYYYYYYY!!!
`JAMES!!!!!`
`YES M`lady`
`and James,never wear my clothes again:):)
`Yes,sorry m`lady`
Celtic just signed a new player ,DAN DRUFF, from Ayr.
News in Prince Charles bought a new horse ,he`s called it w...ker,cos it keeps tossing him off:)
Its rumoured Percy Thrower,the celebrity gardner may have died of aids,they found Pete up his a..se.:action-smiley-081:
Have you seen Stevie Wonders wife??? ,he hasent either:NoNo:
.When he was being interviewed he was asked is it hard being blind,he replied `things could be worse,i could be black` :omg::omg:
REMEMBER,ITS NOTHING PERSONAL,LIFES LIKE THAT!!!!
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
where you left it.
An irishman found a crate of milk in a field,ran home ,and told his friend Paddy he had found a cows nest .
Later the same night they hijacked a submarine and aked for £1000000 and 2 parachutes,
when that that failed they made a suicide pact ,agreed to gas each other and jumped in the North Sea.
New cigarretes for gays,2 puffs and there gone.
A man went to the maternity ward to see his new born baby.The midwife said im afraid something is wrong with your baby sir,`Oh my God `,he cried.
They went along a corridor,the first room had a baby with 2 arms but no legs.
`Is that my baby?`,he asked,`No,im afraid its worse`,the midwife answered.
The next room,a baby was lying with no arms and no legs.
`Is that my baby?,again,the .midwife replied `Im sorry,im afraid its worse .
The next room,there was just a head on a pillow,
`Is that my baby ?`he asked horrified,,and again ,the midwife replied,
`No,im so sorry,im afraid its worse than that.
In the last room there was just an eye on a pillow.
`Is that my baby,pleaseee?`,he asked.
The midwife smiled at him and said `yes,thats your baby,but im afraid its blind.:yikes:`:NoNo::NoNo:
`James,take off my dress`
`M`lady!!!
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my bra`
`M`lady!!!!`
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my knickers`
`M`LADYYYYYYY!!!
`JAMES!!!!!`
`YES M`lady`
`and James,never wear my clothes again:):)
`Yes,sorry m`lady`
Celtic just signed a new player ,DAN DRUFF, from Ayr.
News in Prince Charles bought a new horse ,he`s called it w...ker,cos it keeps tossing him off:)
Its rumoured Percy Thrower,the celebrity gardner may have died of aids,they found Pete up his a..se.:action-smiley-081:
Have you seen Stevie Wonders wife??? ,he hasent either:NoNo:
.When he was being interviewed he was asked is it hard being blind,he replied `things could be worse,i could be black` :omg::omg:
REMEMBER,ITS NOTHING PERSONAL,LIFES LIKE THAT!!!!