Awkward situation pregnant wife?

[marksroomspain]

Hi guys just asking for some advice here how you would handle the following situation, some input from filipino wives would be appreciated also...

My wife and I were talking today about the upcoming birth of our son who is due at the end of January when she said "Can you ask your sister or niece (who she has become really close to) will they be present at the birth"

I said to her that I will be there she replied in her culture that normally husbands are not allowed in the delivery room which I know about so maybe a culture issue and I said in the west it is quite normal for us to be there.

She also said that she will not be able to concentrate on the birth itself and she does not want me to see her distressed but if I would like to be present then she would respect that.

I do not want to put my wife in this situation as I love her too much and have said to her whatever she wants I would agree to.

Its hers and our first child was just wondering her fears and emotions in all this and would love to hear your comments.

Thanks guys in advance.....

[grahamw48]

I was at the birth of our baby, (wife not bothered at all), but I think you should respect the wishes of your wife.
It's nice to be there, but not at the expense of her feelings about something so personal to her. If you're close by she can always call for you anyway. Just my opinion.

[LeeRose]

I totally understand your wife's wishes of not wanting you in the delivery room while she's giving birth because its totally distressing and she don't want you to see what she's going through (you know what I mean).
In my case I had my husband with me during the delivery which I think was the sweetest thing he has done, I was embarrass at first and told him to just wait outside the delivery room but He wanted to accompany me and ddn't just wanna wait while wondering and worrying whats happening inside. Well I was glad he was with me during that time as I had a bad time and really long labor. He gave me more courage and support. I forgot all the embarrassment and focused of just giving birth. In my opinion I would love my husband to be the only one present while I'm giving birth than anyone else.

[joebloggs]

I wasn't in the delivery room at littlejoes birth, as I had my 5yr old daughter with me, but as soon as he was born the nurse showed him to us :Jump:

[marksroomspain]

Thank you LeeRose just hope I can be there she half agreed with me that when he crowned the worst part was over then she would tell the midwife to come and get me :Jump:

[LeeRose]

You're welcome Mark. Best wishes on the upcoming birth of your baby! :smile:

[grahamw48]

Don't forget the camera ! :biggrin:

[vernier caliper]

Hi Mark. Congrats on your baby boy. Two things I would like to share:


she replied in her culture that normally husbands are not allowed in the delivery room which I know about so maybe a culture issue

1. I think your wife gets mixed up. Its not a culture issue. Maybe what she's thinking is the rule in a government/public hospitals in the Philippines where neither husband nor immediate family members are allowed to be with her in the delivery room. If she will deliver in a private clinic/hospital then everyone is allowed to be with her inside the delivery room. Likewise, video recording and picture taking (without flash) of the baby's delivery is permitted.

2. I agree with LeeRose - respect her wish. Maybe she's just worried about what will be her looks during labor:icon_lol:. Give her time coz I am pretty sure that later on she will realize your presence is the most important and you're the best person to be beside her.

Best of luck and Merry Christmas!

[fred]

I was at the birth of my eldest son .
Apparently my wife was embarrassed because I kept using her gas and air.
An amazing high..
I also recommend all fathers try it for obliterating anxiety and nerves.

[tiger31]

just asked g f on this topic and she agreed with post 8 in public hospital nobody is allowed in but private the family can watch lol .ya know what philippina,s are like with the HAIR and the makeup they like to look good but in labour that aint gonna happen lol so she don,t want you to see her in a mess and in pain so just respect what she wants to do .I was cheated out of all 3 of my kids birth coz all 3 were ceaserian i was in next room and they just come out and plonked them in my arms lol

[RickyR]

When my son was born in Cebu, I had to fill in quite a few forms and write a joint letter to the Hospitals Medical Director requesting permission to attend the birth. I was only called in at the very last moment, put into scrubs and taken to be with my wife during the birth. I got some great photos which apparently they ban you from taking in the UK..... I also got to hold little Josh almost immediately after he was born. :-)
It's a very very special moment, but its something that you've both got to feel comfortable with.

[grahamw48]

I have delivery room photos from the birth of our son in the UK. :)

[sars_notd_virus]

Awkward situation pregnant wife...

Its hers and our first child was just wondering her fears and emotions in all this and would love to hear your comments.

Thanks guys in advance.....

has she not attended any antenatal classes?? ..it usually gives confident in child birth and is best if you have done it with her....any birth plan yet?..she can do it online check the link
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/birth-plan.aspx

[Terpe]

Just my personal opinion.
If you both cannot seriously and honestly agree better to go with her decision.

[milesaway1113]

Probably your wife had the baby already? But just in case she hasnt. From my experienced, it is best that you are the birth partner of your wife. She will be well look after and you are there to see her needs and make sure her needs is properly meet.

GOODLUCK!