Help understanding my gf and also am i being naive?

[Jellodude]

Hi there,

Could i ask for some advice from you kind folk, to do with my filipino gf please?

Originally met her online but have now flown over to see her twice (from Taiwan). The second time we were pretty much a couple and i also met her family (mum and dad). I first met her online in mid January. First visit to see her was in late january (i live in Taiwan).

The thing is - a lot of the time when we speak online she always mentions her financial difficulties with her studies. She is in her 3rd year at University and she now needs to pay 17,000 pesos by 20th April or she will be chucked out of University.

She never asks me for money. She is quite poor by western standards (but rich in heart and soul :)). I have met her twice so i think i know that she doesnt want me for my money...but i could be wrong...i'm sometimes too trusting of people.

Today ...online she reluctantly asked if i could pay her course fees (17,000 pesos) and she said she would pay me back. The problem is i dont have the money to pay this. I am in the process of moving back to the UK (from Taiwan) i have told her this. But i also told her that i want her to be part of my life, to visit me in the UK, and if things go well to settle here with me. I dont want to plan too far ahead as it is early days. When i was visiting we had a great time and she never talks about her money problems.

My question is - how can i help my gf with this financial situation she is in? Can you get a loan to help with paying tuition? (its a private institution not public government) It would be a shame for her to drop out of university now as she is in her 3rd year (1 more year)

[Steve.r]

So you have known her for 3 months-ish and she is asking for money already :NoNo: I guess run and run fast would be the right answer. Looks like she has not wasted much time in asking and right from the start she told you about her financial woes, then that should have been a warning. If I were you, because you have already told her that you can't do it, stick to it...and be strong about it. They can get money if they need it, so she will cope. Did she show you where she is studying? did you see any of her course work? are you 100% sure she is doing what she tells you she is doing? I would be very cautious, but remember, you have absolutely no responsibility for her or her family right now. Do not feel pressured into putting your hand in your pocket. If you do this now, you will be making a rod for your own back.

[Terpe]

Hello Jellodude, welcome here to the forum.

Concerning your question. Normally with online connection / relationship the golden rule is 'don't send money'

In your case you have met already and her family. On the balance of probability you should have formed an opinion.
P17k is not a big amount of money. You can quite easily decide IF you want to do it or not. I'm sure you have some way to get hold of the money.
The thing is you say you just don't have it...............so the only answer is that you just can't send it.

If you want to consider a loan, then that's leading you up another level.
No reason at all why you shouldn't want to help your gf, after all you're already considering a more serious future together.

IF you can actually get hold of the money why not pay the school fees directly? That way you know they're due and you know they've been paid.
I've done this many time with extended family members.

I should warn you though that in my case there have been times when the school knew nothing about any fees. You should be prepared for that.

Don't give away any money without knowing where it's going and why.

[Jellodude]

Hi Steve.r thanks for replying. Yeah i have seen some of her coursework so i'm pretty sure she is studying at university (she works fulltime as well). I havent actually seen the school though.

I am wondering how she managed to pay for her 1st and 2nd years of study (she is in 3rd year) because her job only pays around 7000 pesos approx per month (she told me).

[Steve.r]

Hi Steve.r thanks for replying. Yeah i have seen some of her coursework so i'm pretty sure she is studying at university (she works fulltime as well). I havent actually see the school though.

I am wondering how she managed to pay for her 1st and 2nd years of study (she is in 3rd year) because her job only pays around 7000 pesos approx per month (she told me).
Hmm... a bit fishy to me. Working 'full' time but can still go to university........:Erm: Be very careful.

[Jellodude]

Hello Jellodude, welcome here to the forum.

Concerning your question. Normally with online connection / relationship the golden rule is 'don't send money'

In your case you have met already and her family. On the balance of probability you should have formed an opinion.
P17k is not a big amount of money. You can quite easily decide IF you want to do it or not. I'm sure you have some way to get hold of the money.
The thing is you say you just don't have it...............so the only answer is that you just can't send it.

If you want to consider a loan, then that's leading you up another level.
No reason at all why you shouldn't want to help your gf, after all you're already considering a more serious future together.

IF you can actually get hold of the money why not pay the school fees directly? That way you know they're due and you know they've been paid.
I've done this many time with extended family members.

I should warn you though that in my case there have been times when the school knew nothing about any fees. You should be prepared for that.

Don't give away any money without knowing where it's going and why.


Hi, the thing is, if i say to her - ok but i want to pay the school directly - then she immediately will think i dont trust her at all and will be against it no?

At the moment there is just no chance of the money because i am moving back to the UK. In about a month's time when i am back in the UK then maybe yes i can send her money. Is there no option for her to get something like a hardship loan or financial assistance from the university or maybe another loan?

[Terpe]

Hmm... a bit fishy to me. Working 'full' time but can still go to university........:Erm: Be very careful.

The University of Life :biggrin:

Jellodude, what is she studying? Where?
What is her Job? Where?

[Terpe]

Hi, the thing is, if i say to her - ok but i want to pay the school directly - then she immediately will think i dont trust her at all and will be against it no?

No? Why?
Just explain that it's cheaper to pay direct that way so you avoid lots of commission charges and RoE's. Cheaper for you.
She's sure to want to help you help her right?


At the moment there is just no chance of the money because i am moving back to the UK.

Question answered then ?


Is there no option for her to get something like a hardship loan or financial assistance from the university

This is the Philippines we're talking about.

[lordna]

If she is earning 7000 monthly, then thats 84000 a year. Course fees of 17000 is only about 20% of her income. I would have thought the University would come to some arrangement for her to pay monthly. As others have said , why not contact the university yourself and offer to pay her fees but say you will do it on a monthly basis as you can't afford it any other way. She will still trust you as you have found a solution to her problem and yours. 17000 over 12 months is only 1416 and in pounds is less than £25 a month, which should be easily affordable and you don't need to take out a loan. If on the other hand the university dont know anything about her fees then you have found out its time to walk away.

[Jellodude]

ok that seems like a good idea :) i will ask her about this tomorrow :) hopefully this will work thanks

[sars_notd_virus]

At the moment there is just no chance of the money because i am moving back to the UK.

sorry , how can u give if you dont have it ?? it is simple tell her straight..its not about trust it is about honesty lol



Is there no option for her to get something like a hardship loan or financial assistance from the university or maybe another loan?

how long has she been working??If she is a certified member of Social Security System and been contributing for years then she is qualified to apply for a Salary Loan.
check the link:
http://www.home-harbor.com/index.php/public-home/2338

[Ako Si Jamie]

Don't give her any money for now. Say no then monitor her behaviour. Does she get all stroppy with you or become aloof or will she respect your decision and carry on as normal?

If it's the former she's most likely looking for a sugar daddy so dump her. If not I'd contact the uni anyway like the others said and maybe come to an arrangement BUT first of all you need to suss her out with a firm no and see how she behaves towards you for a week or two.

[junior02]

Don't be a cheap Charlie give her the 17,000..:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Steve.r]

Don't be a cheap Charlie give her the 17,000..:xxgrinning--00xx3:He doesn't have it to give. :doh So what if she had never met him? she would have coped right?

[DaveW]

Whats her details. I'll pay it for F Sake!!

[fred]

Whats her details. I'll pay it for F Sake!!

:icon_lol:

[marga]

All i can say is be VERY careful,cos after paying her university fee,she might keep asking for more,like sick mum and dad,till all of her family members get sick.Or she has no allowance,rent for apartment.etc.......You have just known her and yet she already asked you some money:Erm:
Head over heart!

[London_Manila]

Pay nothing and if you do then next month the roof will be blown off her house and she will be expecting you to pay for that as well :NoNo:

[malditako]

if u cannot afford to help her tell her straight...she would understand it for sure. Secondly 7000 pesos a month is too low for a months salary i remember that was salary my in phils 15 years ago and still struggling lol. So its probably more or less break-even or not enough to pay her daily expenses. And third dont worry too much that she's taking advantage of you just b'coz you're a westener. Even filipino boys do give money to their gf so its no difference at all. Most of my cousin are all males and i tell you their gf knows their finances rather than their mom.

[alan_macd]

Most universities have their summer break right now so I'd ask her about this. Maybe it's about enrollment for next academic year. I'd certainly ask to see a bill.

I'd also not send her anything directly. If you are able to help her then I'd only do it through the university.

[Jellodude]

Small update. Well she never mentioned the money again. I am helping her with her coursework (she works and studies so its quite stressful for her).

Things seem to be going ok :) Once i get a job here in UK i will be able to send something.

But as soon as possible i want her to visit me in UK (so i have been reading up on the best hassle free way to do that :) )

[Jellodude]

Hi there i wondered if someone can advise me if im the one being unreasonable in this situation:


Anyway ive been getting on well with the gf - we have to use skype and YM to communicate.

So yesterday we had a very long conversation (which is fine by me) that was about 4 or 5 hours. I told her i was going out and was also going to try finish editing her resume so said goodnight and all ok.

Next day we are talking and getting on well...she tells me some things she has kept to herself because she has been too embarrassed (family stuff) to tell me before. I'm happy she is comfortable with telling me this stuff and i try to be supportive.

Anyway she asks what i did the day before and i say i went out for a walk around the town (its a small town). She then asked me what time was this. I say it was after our conversation yesterday.

She then says why i go walking round the town and not finish editing her resume :(

So it seems she was accusing me of not bothering with doing her resume and just walking around town when i had said to her the previous day i would do the resume.


I feel a bit harassed at this because i feel a bit unappreciated as im trying to help her but she has a go at me for going for a walk when i guess i shouldve been working away on her resume..

This started a big argument where i unfortunately mention i thought she was being a bit controlling as i got the impression she was trying to tell me what to do..

She also drops into the argument stuff like

"okay i know you need to go u had lots of stuff to do sorry for spending ur hour talking to me i thought ur happy talking to me i thought too u miss me sorry to disturb you"


and

"dont worry i never ever disturb you sorry for the time that i ask for u to chat to me sorry!"

which i find bizarre as i tell her all the time i miss her and we always try to speak every single day. Okay we sometimes miss each other online because she is online at 7am uk time and i would be on later. She always says "u never online"

i find it hurtful that she would suggest i dont care or i dont want to talk to her....

just feels to me like emotional manipulation albeit she doesnt intend to do it i hope. I acknowledge that i felt harassed and felt she was accusing me. She just lost it she then goes on to say shes crying that she doesnt know me...that where is her wonderful bf...that could i leave and bring back her loving bf etc

When i offer hugs and try to be concilitary she says back she doesnt hug strangers.... she doesnt know who i am :(

Basically stuff like that whilst i am trying to be calm and rational and explain why i felt accussed and harassed...perhaps i was being over sensitive but i think she was as well.

Trying to see it from her side she maybe got so annoyed because i said yesterday i would try and finish her resume yesterday but of course today comes and i havent finished it. This has really made her that mad?

So conversation ended with no resolution really. I need to have a think about this relationship.

[bhem_bhem]

Woman eh! Living in a fantasy world, expects a man will drop everything just for her.

She's saying that coz she wants u to feel guilty for making her feel like she's isnt ur priority. Women can be manipulative which I'm pretty sure you are aware of. Harsh but true.

[Steve.r]

Honestly...... if you are having problems now...... can you see it getting better in the future???

I think she is being very unreasonable and immature, it is not you. She does not know what your life is like in the UK, maybe she is just very insecure, but do not get trapped into a relationship with a control freak. I would run now and save yourself :Wave:

[London_Manila]

I think you need to take control of the present situation
Its not all about her and what only she wants

Sounds like she in very immature anyway with her silly comments

I always found that some woman will act as badly as you let them :xxparty-smiley-004:

I would put it to her straight = do you want to be in a relationship with me or not

[Steve.r]

I think you need to take control of the present situation
Its not all about her and what only she wants

Sounds like she in very immature anyway with her silly comments

I always found that some woman will act as badly as you let them :xxparty-smiley-004:

I would put it to her straight = do you want to be in a relationship with me or not
I think this is the very first post I 100% agree with you LM :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Dedworth]

Good point LM she needs telling to shape up or ship out

[grahamw48]

Plenty of fish in the sea.

Sounding more and more like a train wreck to me. :NoNo:

[sars_notd_virus]

Hi there i wondered if someone can advise me if im the one being unreasonable in this situation:


Anyway ive been getting on well with the gf - we have to use skype and YM to communicate.

So yesterday we had a very long conversation (which is fine by me) that was about 4 or 5 hours. I told her i was going out and was also going to try finish editing her resume so said goodnight and all ok.

Next day we are talking and getting on well...she tells me some things she has kept to herself because she has been too embarrassed (family stuff) to tell me before. I'm happy she is comfortable with telling me this stuff and i try to be supportive.

Anyway she asks what i did the day before and i say i went out for a walk around the town (its a small town). She then asked me what time was this. I say it was after our conversation yesterday.

She then says why i go walking round the town and not finish editing her resume :(

So it seems she was accusing me of not bothering with doing her resume and just walking around town when i had said to her the previous day i would do the resume.


I feel a bit harassed at this because i feel a bit unappreciated as im trying to help her but she has a go at me for going for a walk when i guess i shouldve been working away on her resume..

This started a big argument where i unfortunately mention i thought she was being a bit controlling as i got the impression she was trying to tell me what to do..

She also drops into the argument stuff like

"okay i know you need to go u had lots of stuff to do sorry for spending ur hour talking to me i thought ur happy talking to me i thought too u miss me sorry to disturb you"


and

"dont worry i never ever disturb you sorry for the time that i ask for u to chat to me sorry!"

which i find bizarre as i tell her all the time i miss her and we always try to speak every single day. Okay we sometimes miss each other online because she is online at 7am uk time and i would be on later. She always says "u never online"

i find it hurtful that she would suggest i dont care or i dont want to talk to her....

just feels to me like emotional manipulation albeit she doesnt intend to do it i hope. I acknowledge that i felt harassed and felt she was accusing me. She just lost it she then goes on to say shes crying that she doesnt know me...that where is her wonderful bf...that could i leave and bring back her loving bf etc

When i offer hugs and try to be concilitary she says back she doesnt hug strangers.... she doesnt know who i am :(

Basically stuff like that whilst i am trying to be calm and rational and explain why i felt accussed and harassed...perhaps i was being over sensitive but i think she was as well.

Trying to see it from her side she maybe got so annoyed because i said yesterday i would try and finish her resume yesterday but of course today comes and i havent finished it. This has really made her that mad?

So conversation ended with no resolution really. I need to have a think about this relationship.

Long distance relationship is not easy, a lot of us here have been there...petty quarrels and arguments is a No! No! (waste of life), ...its ok to argue when you can hug each other in real but if you are far and away you can only hug your laptop or your camera doesnt make sense really:biggrin:
My advice?? If you are both unhappy now then call it a day.(it will save you both a heartache and an expensive electric/ telephone bill) :smile::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

Good point LM she needs telling to shape up or ship out

Looks like you found yourself a loony tune, unfortunately the Internet dating game is peppered with them.

As most has said on here. .knock it into touch.

She's like that now, imagine what she going to be like here in UK. ..really, it doesn't bear thinking about. Life's tough enough as it is without adding to it.

Good luck.

[Ako Si Jamie]

She's saying that coz she wants u to feel guilty for making her feel like she's isnt ur priority.


maybe she is just very insecure

Either of these two or both.

[bigmarco]

Seems to me that you have a lot of experienced guys saying the same thing. She's already chasing dough and now playing mind games. There's too many Alarm bells for me considering the relationship is at such an early stage. Head for the hills

[Michael Parnham]

Hi Jello, She's a little immature and very insecure, also she's afraid to tell you what she really feels, possibly in love! With reference to P7000 per month, I would say that sounds about right also the money for uni is correct. My advice is give her the money for uni, I think she's genuine. Good Luck and let us know how things develop!!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

Seems to me that you have a lot of experienced guys saying the same thing. She's already chasing dough and now playing mind games. There's to many Alarm bells for me considering the relationship is at such an early stage. Head for the hillsI'd be more worried about being taken for a financial ride Marco than her insecurity issues and the odd mind game because the way I see it, those last two go with the territory.

[gWaPito]

Seems to me that you have a lot of experienced guys saying the same thing. She's already chasing dough and now playing mind games. There's to many Alarm bells for me considering the relationship is at such an early stage. Head for the hills
Cheers bigmarco. .'chasing dough' hahaha that tickled me. .all very true along with Jamie's financial ride ..Jello, believe you me, cut your what you've lost and head elsewhere. ..really, if this is what you call love I'll prefer not to bother.
Jello, you are looking for employment in UK. ..I'd be more inclined to sort out your financial affairs first and foremost. .no good getting loved up now. .focus on work. .and if you are still hell bent on finding your dream filipina, you could do a lot worse than keeping up to speed on this forum.
Good Luck Jello

[bigmarco]

I'd be more worried about being taken for a financial ride Marco than her insecurity issues and the odd mind game because the way I see it, those last two go with the territory.

In all honesty Jamie I never got involved at the start of the thread because if it was me and I had feelings for the girl I'd have given her the 17,000php particularly as they've met.
For me it would be what happened after giving the money would have determined where the relationship went from there. For me 17,000 is a small price to pay to find out if you've got a wrongun or not.
The fact that she's now causing headaches over silly things is enough to say this is more trouble than it's worth. I agree with Gwapito if she's like that now what on earth will she be like once you get her here.

[grahamw48]

My lady has never asked me for a penny (in 18 months).

She knows I only have my fading mind and body to give. :cwm3:

Maybe that's why I love her. :lovecouple:

[gWaPito]

My lady has never asked me for a penny (in 18 months).

She knows I only have my fading mind and body to give. :cwm3:

Maybe that's why I love her. :lovecouple:
Nice one Graham. ..I'll have to go that route. ...I'll probably have no choice :icon_lol:
Btw. .I've tried giving you and Bigmarco reps ..I have to share them around. .apparently, merit isn't a valid reason. .still I understand why. ..:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

The fact that she's now causing headaches over silly things is enough to say this is more trouble than it's worth. I agree with Gwapito if she's like that now what on earth will she be like once you get her here.You got to remember it's an LDR so a certain amount of insecurity is expected but I do agree about the immaturity/crying having re-read the thread again. Must have missed that bit. Now that would be a worry.

[grahamw48]

Nice one Graham. ..I'll have to go that route. ...I'll probably have no choice :icon_lol:
Btw. .I've tried giving you and Bigmarco reps ..I have to share them around. .apparently, merit isn't a valid reason. .still I understand why. ..:xxgrinning--00xx3:

You'll be alright mate. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

If someone as barmy as me can get through it.....:wink:

[malditako]

Hi there i wondered if someone can advise me if im the one being unreasonable in this situation:


Anyway ive been getting on well with the gf - we have to use skype and YM to communicate.

So yesterday we had a very long conversation (which is fine by me) that was about 4 or 5 hours. I told her i was going out and was also going to try finish editing her resume so said goodnight and all ok.

Next day we are talking and getting on well...she tells me some things she has kept to herself because she has been too embarrassed (family stuff) to tell me before. I'm happy she is comfortable with telling me this stuff and i try to be supportive.

Anyway she asks what i did the day before and i say i went out for a walk around the town (its a small town). She then asked me what time was this. I say it was after our conversation yesterday.

She then says why i go walking round the town and not finish editing her resume :(

So it seems she was accusing me of not bothering with doing her resume and just walking around town when i had said to her the previous day i would do the resume.


I feel a bit harassed at this because i feel a bit unappreciated as im trying to help her but she has a go at me for going for a walk when i guess i shouldve been working away on her resume..

This started a big argument where i unfortunately mention i thought she was being a bit controlling as i got the impression she was trying to tell me what to do..

She also drops into the argument stuff like

"okay i know you need to go u had lots of stuff to do sorry for spending ur hour talking to me i thought ur happy talking to me i thought too u miss me sorry to disturb you"


and

"dont worry i never ever disturb you sorry for the time that i ask for u to chat to me sorry!"

which i find bizarre as i tell her all the time i miss her and we always try to speak every single day. Okay we sometimes miss each other online because she is online at 7am uk time and i would be on later. She always says "u never online"

i find it hurtful that she would suggest i dont care or i dont want to talk to her....

just feels to me like emotional manipulation albeit she doesnt intend to do it i hope. I acknowledge that i felt harassed and felt she was accusing me. She just lost it she then goes on to say shes crying that she doesnt know me...that where is her wonderful bf...that could i leave and bring back her loving bf etc

When i offer hugs and try to be concilitary she says back she doesnt hug strangers.... she doesnt know who i am :(

Basically stuff like that whilst i am trying to be calm and rational and explain why i felt accussed and harassed...perhaps i was being over sensitive but i think she was as well.

Trying to see it from her side she maybe got so annoyed because i said yesterday i would try and finish her resume yesterday but of course today comes and i havent finished it. This has really made her that mad?

So conversation ended with no resolution really. I need to have a think about this relationship.

Typical filipina soaking eh lol....pretty normal building a ldr relationship. It will change after a few years of being together and establish security. You just got a woman who speaks what she feels...and strong enough to argue with her man. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Michael Parnham]

Typical filipina soaking eh lol....pretty normal building a ldr relationship. It will change after a few years of being together and establish security. You just got a woman who speaks what she feels...and strong enough to argue with her man. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Your right there Grace!

[Michael Parnham]

C'mon Jello, go for it!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[London_Manila]

Surely he should act like a mas kuripot just to see if she is just after one thing
I employ this tactic and it works a treat...........

Last point i like to wear the trousers in a relationship and i dont like being henpecked :biggrin:

[Steve.r]

Last point i like to wear the trousers in a relationship and i dont like being henpecked :biggrin:

Unless he likes to be a doormat of course.

For those giving advice to 'go for it' :doh come on.... we have all heard and witnessed the horror stories, let's advise caution here please..

[malditako]

Surely he should act like a mas kuripot just to see if she is just after one thing
I employ this tactic and it works a treat...........

Last point i like to wear the trousers in a relationship and i dont like being henpecked :biggrin:

i tell u what filipina ladies are always impress with a guy who's ready to spend on them no matter if you are a foreigner or just simply a filipino guy. We do love "galante" men than kuripot ones. Trust me its a fact :).

[malditako]

sometimes we have to take risk into a relationship and we learn from our own mistake rather than comparing and listening to from others stories and experiences. Everything differs :). If my man would say i do my resume on that day i would expect it and if it does not done i would get upset and moaning all day i guess lol.

[filbrit]

Unless he likes to be a doormat of course.

For those giving advice to 'go for it' :doh come on.... we have all heard and witnessed the horror stories, let's advise caution here please..

I only read the last comments. I agree with Steve. Be cautious but don't give up on her too easily. Give it more time. Tell her what you exactly feel about how she has been acting and see what she's going to say. Observe if she will change. If she needs you more than doing things for her like a simple resume and loves you genuinely, she should not feel bad of what you will say. Understanding, honesty, transparency and communication are very important. Keep your eyes open for the early signs than regret things later.

When I was still chatting with my ex bf (husband now, lol), I never asked for financial help. He is a very nice guy and has done it voluntarily. I could have asked him but I did not. Not because I was trying to make a good impression, I thought it would be too much to ask. Beside I needed a man for love and not for money.

[grahamw48]

...probably why he is your husband now. :biggrin:

[bhem_bhem]

Surely he should act like a mas kuripot just to see if she is just after one thing
I employ this tactic and it works a treat...........

when i met my hubby, he made me believe that he is skint so every time we go out i pay the hotel, half of the food and even half of the petrol. :icon_lol: only when i applied for my visa that i found out he's not really skint, he's just tight bugger but he has changed now that we are married (which is good).. :biggrin:

[Arthur Little]

...
tight bugger but he has changed now that we are married (which is good).. :biggrin:

... yes, it's NOW that matters, :iagree:!

[bigmac]

wots a curry pot?

[gWaPito]

Jello. ..as a couple have just said ' this is typical Filipina behaviour' I beg to differ. ..more than likely the behaviour of someone with a personality disorder. My advice is to run. ..skip the dumping bit. ..change your phone numbers and set up new email accounts.
Good luck

Steve R....I sent you a rep for your last post here. ..unfortunately the rep was sent before I cld complete my comment :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I'm really happy to see all is working out for you.

[bigmarco]

My advice is to run. ..skip the dumping bit. ..change your phone numbers and set up new email accounts.
Good luck



Seconded :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

when i met my hubby, he made me believe that he is skint so every time we go out i pay the hotel, half of the food and even half of the petrol. :icon_lol: only when i applied for my visa that i found out he's not really skint, he's just tight bugger but he has changed now that we are married (which is good).. :biggrin:

Hey !
Don't be giving away my secrets ! :omg:

[bhem_bhem]

Hey !
Don't be giving away my secrets ! :omg:

uh uh, too late.. :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

wots a curry pot?

:Erm: ... y'mean kuripot? Think "skinflint" or "tight-wad". :icon_lol:

[beejudge73]

the first issue is about the money for the university few days or weeks after she was too demanding and easily became insensitive... isn't it because you didn't give what she wants? if you have given her favor do you think she wont just react that way? yes she is childish but sometimes a university student can be very mature esp if she undergoes difficulties in life. I could see that your gf is a working student usually working students are the most mature young people here in PI. You could just end up into saying I need to think for this relationship but don't you also thought of understanding him because she might be undergoing difficulties, you can tell that because u have met her here, having arguments sometimes would be a better way to get to know each other I have proven that to my husband we have sometimes petty arguments but I tell you from there we become more mature and see our weak points, or consider your age gap, language barriers. We Filipinos knows English (of course not everybody) but it doesn't mean we could have the same level as the native speakers do (English men) How can you establish a relationship if you would easily give up? maybe its just a matter of how to deal with different culture and background. You like other race so be prepared :) teach her how to be mature, to be sensitive rather than being tactless Or when things wont really work out with you and her next time try not to get a college level, lol at least somebody who has a career or whoever they are as long as you feel she is the one, fight for it!

[gWaPito]

the first issue is about the money for the university few days or weeks after she was too demanding and easily became insensitive... isn't it because you didn't give what she wants? if you have given her favor do you think she wont just react that way? yes she is childish but sometimes a university student can be very mature esp if she undergoes difficulties in life. I could see that your gf is a working student usually working students are the most mature young people here in PI. You could just end up into saying I need to think for this relationship but don't you also thought of understanding him because she might be undergoing difficulties, you can tell that because u have met her here, having arguments sometimes would be a better way to get to know each other I have proven that to my husband we have sometimes petty arguments but I tell you from there we become more mature and see our weak points, or consider your age gap, language barriers. We Filipinos knows English (of course not everybody) but it doesn't mean we could have the same level as the native speakers do (English men) How can you establish a relationship if you would easily give up? maybe its just a matter of how to deal with different culture and background. You like other race so be prepared :) teach her how to be mature, to be sensitive rather than being tactless Or when things wont really work out with you and her next time try not to get a college level, lol at least somebody who has a career or whoever they are as long as you feel she is the one, fight for it! Hi Beejudge..Welcome to the friendly FilipinoUk forum.

Unfortunately I'm taking issue with your post. ;-)

You say it's acceptable for his girlfriend to be like she is because he didn't give into her demand.

You also say she is probably like she is because of life's difficulties. ..Hello! ..we have difficulties here as well. ..that doesn't turn the majority into nutters.

You state that the boyfriend should adapt to the culture of the girlfriend. .I beg to differ. ..they should both adapt to each others culture. ..you see, it's not all about the gf...it's a two way street.

Mutual respect to be shown by both parties. You mention arguments make couples stronger, absolutely. .I totally agree but, it can also hasten the demise of a relationship built upon a halo halo.

Perhaps the boyfriend should of gone for a girlfriend in a higher social bracket, the trouble being, those types are somewhat thin on the ground.

Even so, I'm sending you a rep for your honest contribution.

Cheers
Mark

[Ako Si Jamie]

when i met my hubby, he made me believe that he is skint so every time we go out i pay the hotel, half of the food and even half of the petrol. :icon_lol: only when i applied for my visa that i found out he's not really skint, he's just tight bugger but he has changed now that we are married (which is good).. :biggrin:
He wasn't being tight just safeguarding himself, making sure you wanted him for him and not for what he could provide.

Very wise man.

[beejudge73]

Hi Beejudge..Welcome to the friendly FilipinoUk forum.

Unfortunately I'm taking issue with your post. ;-)

You say it's acceptable for his girlfriend to be like she is because he didn't give into her demand.

You also say she is probably like she is because of life's difficulties. ..Hello! ..we have difficulties here as well. ..that doesn't turn the majority into nutters.

You state that the boyfriend should adapt to the culture of the girlfriend. .I beg to differ. ..they should both adapt to each others culture. ..you see, it's not all about the gf...it's a two way street.

Mutual respect to be shown by both parties. You mention arguments make couples stronger, absolutely. .I totally agree but, it can also hasten the demise of a relationship built upon a halo halo.

Perhaps the boyfriend should of gone for a girlfriend in a higher social bracket, the trouble being, those types are somewhat thin on the ground.

Even so, I'm sending you a rep for your honest contribution.

Cheers
Mark

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark :)

Cheers!

[gWaPito]

Beejudge73....I appreciate the appreciation. That's sure been in short supply. Thanks :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bhem_bhem]

He wasn't being tight just safeguarding himself, making sure you wanted him for him and not for what he could provide.

Very wise man.

he didn't do it to test me, it was actually me who test him.:biggrin:

you see, i'm kinda weird woman, i like scaring a man off instead of impressing him. :cwm25: my hubby has no idea of the reputation of asians so i told him that some asians are desperate to stay here that they pretend they love their boyfriend to lure him to marry her ( i told him this few days after he found out that my visa is about to expire and i'm struggling to get a new one). i intentionally scare him by saying that i have massive loan from the bank and that i have a big family who needs supporting which will be a responsibility of my future husband.. :icon_lol:

i always do this to men who shows interest at me and guess what all of them run miles away from me except my hubby. :laugher:

my hubby told me that it did scare him but somehow he felt that he can trust me so he still marries me..

[grahamw48]

Have you shown him the letter from the Bailiffs yet...and that big mansion you've had built in the Phils ? :icon_lol:

[Michael Parnham]

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark :)

Cheers!

I agree with you Beejudge, also Jello hasn't said any more recently, where is he?

[London_Manila]

i tell u what filipina ladies are always impress with a guy who's ready to spend on them no matter if you are a foreigner or just simply a filipino guy. We do love "galante" men than kuripot ones. Trust me its a fact :).

Yes i realize that but what happens when the money runs out :anerikke:

I think spending too much pera on any gf is only going to lead to problems later on

[London_Manila]

Jello. ..as a couple have just said ' this is typical Filipina behaviour' I beg to differ. ..more than likely the behaviour of someone with a personality disorder. My advice is to run. ..skip the dumping bit. ..change your phone numbers and set up new email accounts.
Good luck

Steve R....I sent you a rep for your last post here. ..unfortunately the rep was sent before I cld complete my comment :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I'm really happy to see all is working out for you.

Good advice

From this guys postings its easy to see that his young lady is just acting like a spoilt brat
Using her temper tantrums to try and control him with added silly remarks
Why should he hang around for more abuse and i am sure it would not be so difficult to find a replacement

[London_Manila]

the first issue is about the money for the university few days or weeks after she was too demanding and easily became insensitive... isn't it because you didn't give what she wants? if you have given her favor do you think she wont just react that way? yes she is childish but sometimes a university student can be very mature esp if she undergoes difficulties in life. I could see that your gf is a working student usually working students are the most mature young people here in PI. You could just end up into saying I need to think for this relationship but don't you also thought of understanding him because she might be undergoing difficulties, you can tell that because u have met her here, having arguments sometimes would be a better way to get to know each other I have proven that to my husband we have sometimes petty arguments but I tell you from there we become more mature and see our weak points, or consider your age gap, language barriers. We Filipinos knows English (of course not everybody) but it doesn't mean we could have the same level as the native speakers do (English men) How can you establish a relationship if you would easily give up? maybe its just a matter of how to deal with different culture and background. You like other race so be prepared :) teach her how to be mature, to be sensitive rather than being tactless Or when things wont really work out with you and her next time try not to get a college level, lol at least somebody who has a career or whoever they are as long as you feel she is the one, fight for it!

I feel she is not worth all the hassle and i am sure there are better woman around who know how to behave

[London_Manila]

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark :)

Cheers!

Its hard to teach someone mutual respect when they are so isip bata (childish)

[Ako Si Jamie]

I remember the first pinay I dated back in 2005. She was 27 but acted like a teenager and was very insecure. She kept on saying ''Do you still like me?" all the time even though I had only known her a week or so.

[gWaPito]

Its hard to teach someone mutual respect when they are so isip bata (childish)

Like good manners, it's comes from within. ..an instinctive reaction.

[gWaPito]

I remember the first pinay I dated back in 2005. She was 27 but acted like a teenager and was very insecure. She kept on saying ''Do you still like me?" all the time even though I had only known her a week or so.

You saw the red flags nice and early. .:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

You saw the red flags nice and early. .:xxgrinning--00xx3:Couldn't miss them. Nice enough girl but I wouldn't be able to handle that all the time. Maturity is near the top of my trait list when it comes to women. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

Couldn't miss them. Nice enough girl but I wouldn't be able to handle that all the time. Maturity is near the top of my trait list when it comes to women. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Mine was long legs and boobs...everything else was secondary. ..as they say. ..in for a penny, in for a pound :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

These days I'm grateful if they're under 50 and will give me a second look. :icon_lol:

[gWaPito]

These days I'm grateful if they're under 50 and will give me a second look. :icon_lol:
Gonna be my route in 10 years time Graham :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

Mine was long legs and boobs...everything else was secondary. ..as they say. ..in for a penny, in for a pound :xxgrinning--00xx3:A woman's exterior was the thing that attracted me most as a youngster then I realised over time, the interior was more important and that physical features are just a bonus.

[grahamw48]

Oh that's good then, I must still be young in my ways. :biggrin:

Hey...it's hard enough getting worked up about a woman when you're old...gotta have something tasty to look at to set the old wheels in motion. :icon_lol:

[Ako Si Jamie]

Oh that's good then, I must still be young in my ways. :biggrin:

Hey...it's hard enough getting worked up about a woman when you're old...gotta have something tasty to look at to set the old wheels in motion. :icon_lol:http://soundtrackforthepeople.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/old-hag.jpg

:icon_lol:

[grahamw48]

JEEZUZ !!! :yikes:

Don't do that !

Gave me the fright of my life ! :doh

[Ako Si Jamie]

Not pleasant viewing I must admit. :icon_lol:

[grahamw48]

My little sweetheart will do fine for me...even at the ripe old age of 27. :heartshape1:

.
http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/4909/merlypicture.jpg

[Ako Si Jamie]

My little sweetheart will do fine for me...even at the ripe old age of 27. :heartshape1:

.
http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/4909/merlypicture.jpgIs that your lady from Pangasinan?

[grahamw48]

Yeah...got to go and chat to her now, so catch you later. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

Will do. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[sars_notd_virus]

What happen to Jellodude???
I hope he's all right:Erm:
....update us soon mate :smile:

[Jellodude]

What happen to Jellodude???
I hope he's all right:Erm:
....update us soon mate :smile:

Sorry i have not been around. My laptop is broke right now so im using my phone for the internet.

Ok we managed to speak on the phone (skype) and she says she was feeling insecure and because of the long distance between us. I have to say i have had previous girlfriends who were totally batshit nuts so these kinds of antics dont really phase me. I have to remember that we have been communicating mainly via txt by yahoo messenger (my laptop broke atm) so misunderstandings happen. Also we get on great in person. Once i get sorted financially i am planning to visit her for longer in PI later this year (max of 21 days without visa i think yeah)

Also she does have troubles that make her life hard (family stuff) she shares with me. I know i said before she asked me to help her with money for college but she was desperate as she isnt sure she will be able to continue her studies. She has to pay her fees for the next semester which starts very soon. I have asked her to try negotiate paying in installments. So i will find out next week how that goes. She told me the other day she was txted by a professor at her college asking her where she was and she wasnt sure how to answer because she doesnt want to disclose the money problems she has in paying fees (feeling ashamed). So possibly it was last week her fees were due and college started last week. AMA College in Dasmarinas.

As always i am careful but i trust her. I will find out the latest when she comes back from a trip she took this weekend (to a spiritual youth camp thing in Zambales)

[Steve.r]

Thanks for the update Jello,

Photos of the camping will help you to know if she is being honest about her trip.

Small step only though ok :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Jellodude]

Thanks for the update Jello,

Photos of the camping will help you to know if she is being honest about her trip.

Small step only though ok :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yeah she said she will get photos. If she cant get a camera herself then her friend will take photos.

Theres a good chance i will be working within a month and i definately want to help herl rent her own place (living conditions at home not good) ive researched average rent pcm around 3500 so i am happy to help in that regard. maybe also get her another phone where skype works ok because right now i have to pay a skype sub to philippines to be able to phone her mobile in PI. She only has a netbook which is pretty slow.

[Steve.r]

There are alternatives to Skype if she has wifi or internet at home that are free. I use Viber to talk to my wife in Phils as well as WeChat and WhatsApp

At this stage though I feel you are going too far to look after her by renting a place for her. Remember her living conditions are not the same as ours and what you see as maybe crowded or not private are normal. Example, even at my home, everyone sleeps together on a large sponge mattress in the living room. (when I am not home of course) and I have done the same when staying with family. Please consider everything before you make a rod for your own back, because once you start... there is no turning back. :wink:

[gWaPito]

Yes i realize that but what happens when the money runs out :anerikke:

I think spending too much pera on any gf is only going to lead to problems later on
Excellent post LM....wise words indeed.
I've sent you a rep for this. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[bigmac]

Originally Posted by bigmac
wots a curry pot?
... y'mean kuripot? Think "skinflint" or "tight-wad".

superb--fits me to a T. how do i change my username?

[John.C]

What an interesting thread!
Here is what I have learned about Relationships with Filipino women + Money. It is not very much....

1. If your capacity for Empathy is above average - think carefully about what you are getting into. :doh
2. Sometimes the person back home who is sick or dying does exist.
3. A Filipino woman who is sending half of her pitiful wage home and never has any food in the fridge is not a "scammer" even if she directly asks you for money. A scammer is a person inventing financial problems to extort money...
4. Everything. And I mean Everything....is complicated.

[Michael Parnham]

Yeah she said she will get photos. If she cant get a camera herself then her friend will take photos.

Theres a good chance i will be working within a month and i definately want to help herl rent her own place (living conditions at home not good) ive researched average rent pcm around 3500 so i am happy to help in that regard. maybe also get her another phone where skype works ok because right now i have to pay a skype sub to philippines to be able to phone her mobile in PI. She only has a netbook which is pretty slow.

I'll tell you now Jello, she'll be just right for you I'm sure, Good luck for the future!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

Some good posts with good advice. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

I'll tell you now Jello, she'll be just right for you I'm sure, Good luck for the future!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Good advice indeed Graham. ..Okay, I'm not the ideal candidate for dishing out advice about relationships :NoNo:...even so, I would advise, keep your wits about you and trust your gut instinct.

Good luck :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[London_Manila]

Excellent post LM....wise words indeed.
I've sent you a rep for this. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I have seen some guys throwing money at their gf's and buying them anything that they ask for
When the money dries up these guys wonder why the gf walks away :doh

You cant buy true love but that don't stop some people trying..........

[London_Manila]

Originally Posted by bigmac
wots a curry pot?
... y'mean kuripot? Think "skinflint" or "tight-wad".

superb--fits me to a T. how do i change my username?

Start how you mean to carry on :wink:

[London_Manila]

There are alternatives to Skype if she has wifi or internet at home that are free. I use Viber to talk to my wife in Phils as well as WeChat and WhatsApp

At this stage though I feel you are going too far to look after her by renting a place for her. Remember her living conditions are not the same as ours and what you see as maybe crowded or not private are normal. Example, even at my home, everyone sleeps together on a large sponge mattress in the living room. (when I am not home of course) and I have done the same when staying with family. Please consider everything before you make a rod for your own back, because once you start... there is no turning back. :wink:

Viber is great free texts to the Philippines all day long

[Steve.r]

Also an hour of talking via Viber is about 8MB of data.

[sars_notd_virus]

Sorry i have not been around. My laptop is broke right now so im using my phone for the internet.

Ok we managed to speak on the phone (skype) and she says she was feeling insecure and because of the long distance between us. I have to say i have had previous girlfriends who were totally batshit nuts so these kinds of antics dont really phase me. I have to remember that we have been communicating mainly via txt by yahoo messenger (my laptop broke atm) so misunderstandings happen. Also we get on great in person. Once i get sorted financially i am planning to visit her for longer in PI later this year (max of 21 days without visa i think yeah)

Also she does have troubles that make her life hard (family stuff) she shares with me. I know i said before she asked me to help her with money for college but she was desperate as she isnt sure she will be able to continue her studies. She has to pay her fees for the next semester which starts very soon. I have asked her to try negotiate paying in installments. So i will find out next week how that goes. She told me the other day she was txted by a professor at her college asking her where she was and she wasnt sure how to answer because she doesnt want to disclose the money problems she has in paying fees (feeling ashamed). So possibly it was last week her fees were due and college started last week. AMA College in Dasmarinas.

As always i am careful but i trust her. I will find out the latest when she comes back from a trip she took this weekend (to a spiritual youth camp thing in Zambales)

thank you for the update Jello,
Trust is a good sign in any relationship, keep it going and good luck for the future.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

I have seen some guys throwing money at their gf's and buying them anything that they ask for
When the money dries up these guys wonder why the gf walks away :doh

You cant buy true love but that don't stop some people trying..........

Thanks LM,
Forgive me here but, slightly off topic. .the the Filipino partner doesn't always wait until the money runs out before they depart.
For example, they come over here thinking life's in the west going to be a whole lot better than in The Philippines in most cases, things are but, a few can't make that adjustment. .the realisation that the money is actually worked hard for. ..they witness first hand what the husband/wife has to do, to make things happen.
A very small minority can't stomach it. Some realise it was a whole bunch easier staying at home in The Philippines, in the warm sunshine, thinking about one's naval, while waiting for the next 10 digit text message.

It's a shame the 2 countries couldn't get together and work out a way of better of familiarisation before the partner makes that life changing step.

This is not a broad brush statement. ..many integrate successfully.

I would also suggest, the guys and girls over here just to take care on who they choose to date. ..just like Jelo.

Cheers
Mark :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Ako Si Jamie]

I'm amazed out how many foreigners not just from the Philippines think we're all rich. If we were, the country wouldn't function properly as most people wouldn't need or want to work. Who would bake your bread in the morning? Who would collect your dustbins?

[grahamw48]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find. :cwm25:

[gWaPito]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find. :cwm25:

Hahaha I'm glad you said that. ..If it had been me, I would of been cursed to Kingdom come :icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:

Btw. ..why the healthy bank balance, it's their to be spent, who cares about tomorrow or even the car going wrong. ..like holding sand in one's hand.

[grahamw48]

Meaning that YOU are required by THEM to have a healthy bank balance...normally.

All tongue in cheek obviously, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist. :biggrin:

[grahamw48]

My lady says she's happy that I'm old, ugly, potless and crap in bed...which is just as well really. :icon_lol:



Oh, and thanks Mark. :wink:

[gWaPito]

My lady says she's happy that I'm old, ugly, potless and crap in bed...which is just as well really. :icon_lol:



Oh, and thanks Mark. :wink:

You are so funny!
I sent you a PM. ...no need to reply.

Cheers

No knickers in a twist either :icon_lol:

Many a year since I've heard that one. :biggrin:

[London_Manila]

Thanks LM,
Forgive me here but, slightly off topic. .the the Filipino partner doesn't always wait until the money runs out before they depart.
For example, they come over here thinking life's in the west going to be a whole lot better than in The Philippines in most cases, things are but, a few can't make that adjustment. .the realisation that the money is actually worked hard for. ..they witness first hand what the husband/wife has to do, to make things happen.
A very small minority can't stomach it. Some realise it was a whole bunch easier staying at home in The Philippines, in the warm sunshine, thinking about one's naval, while waiting for the next 10 digit text message.

It's a shame the 2 countries couldn't get together and work out a way of better of familiarisation before the partner makes that life changing step.

This is not a broad brush statement. ..many integrate successfully.

I would also suggest, the guys and girls over here just to take care on who they choose to date. ..just like Jelo.

Cheers
Mark :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Every person i meet in the Philippines wants to leave the philippines
I stated this before and was flamed for saying it :icon_rolleyes:
apparently some uncle somewhere is happy to stay there......
anyway i always tell them that things are not so bad in the philippines and life in the west is no cakewalk
some of them have rich distant relatives in some far away land who has made pot fulls of money
its not like that for everyone i tell them
Most are very shocked when i inform them that i work 13 days out of 14
I get the impression that some people in the Phills think that life in the west is like an episode of the American sitcom "friends" where nobody goes to work and everyone sits around laughing and joking all day
i think this is very much a case of the grass is always greener on the other side

Yes i know there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and finding work is not easy either
But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well

[Steve.r]

But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well

I really have been watching too much Jeremy Kyle recently on catch up tv lol..... but i agree with you.

[gWaPito]

Every person i meet in the Philippines wants to leave the philippines
I stated this before and was flamed for saying it :icon_rolleyes:
apparently some uncle somewhere is happy to stay there......
anyway i always tell them that things are not so bad in the philippines and life is the west is no cakewalk
some of them have rich distant relatives in some far away land who has made pot fulls of money
its not like that for everyone i tell them
Most are very shocked when i inform them that i work 13 days out of 14
I get the impression that some people in the Phills think that life in the west is like an episode of the American sitcom "friends" where nobody goes to work and everyone sits around laughing and joking all day
i think this is very much a case of the grass is always greener on the other side

Yes i know there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and finding work is not easy either
But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well
I enjoyed your last two sentences LM. I sure that was for the sensitive amongst us :biggrin:

Finding worthwhile employment in the Philippines is nigh on impossible. .unless you happen to know somebody who knows somebody.
My Father in Law worked in the middle east for the same rate of pay he would of got doing the same job in his homeland, The Philippines. Here in UK folks won't leave there hometown to improve their lot, let alone seek employment.

Not sure about crime ridden council estates ...I'll agree with Steve. .
....too much Jeremy Kyle!:icon_lol:

[stevewool]

work hard and long and save all your cash and move to where you think you will be safe and sort of well off with what cash you have, will it be here or somewhere else, who knows its down to each and everyone of us, for the last 3 years its been the phils for me to finnish of my living but with another five years working left who knows what may happen in that time

[London_Manila]

work hard and long and save all your cash and move to where you think you will be safe and sort of well off with what cash you have, will it be here or somewhere else, who knows its down to each and everyone of us, for the last 3 years its been the phils for me to finnish of my living but with another five years working left who knows what may happen in that time

Yes sounds like a great plan, apart from free medical care i think this country has little to offer now
Even the benefits system here is not what it used to be (never used any of it)
With more and more people living in London i have become jaded with London
Its too crowded and i intend to leave this place when i have saved enough money

I like Makati and i will probably end up there in a rented condo........:smile:

[gWaPito]

Yes sounds like a great plan, apart from free medical care i think this country has little to offer now
Even the benefits system here is not what it used to be (never used any of it)
With more and more people living in London i have become jaded with London
Its too crowded and i intend to leave this place when i have saved enough money

I like Makati and i will probably end up there in a rented condo........:smile:
Excellent idea LM. ..good to have a nice base while busily doin you little bit increasing the Philippine population. ..nice work if you can get it. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[purple]

this is interesting thread.. as for Jello.. keep communicating with her, talk things through about being supportive with each other, and be strong because LDR is not easy.. as most of us here have been through or still is in that phase.

explain to her that life in PI is easier than living here. I said that because in PI if you don't have anything to eat.. you just pop in to your friends or relatives house you can have something to eat.

I agree with what the respectable members here had to say, all in all, only you who can do the better judgement in assessing your relationship with your gf.

If I may ask, what work does she do?

I remember that I was working hard while going to college.. because my kuripot stepfather wants me to work. And I did sell credit cards with some agency that was 16 years ago when I started. And believe it or not I made between 9,000-25,000 a month, then I did sell insurance and got myself into real estate, MLM and call centre.

I must say, I had much better life in PI.. the lifestyle, travels, friends and family.
But I'm not complaining.. I married the best man in the world. Even though my hands are getting rough from doing house works etc because we cannot afford a maid.

I'm sure rayna here would agree with me.

[grahamw48]

That's interesting reading purple....and should hopefully give some prospective boyfriends/husbands food for thought. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I'm giving you some rep for that.

[gWaPito]

:laugher::laugher:

[raynaputi]

this is interesting thread.. as for Jello.. keep communicating with her, talk things through about being supportive with each other, and be strong because LDR is not easy.. as most of us here have been through or still is in that phase.

explain to her that life in PI is easier than living here. I said that because in PI if you don't have anything to eat.. you just pop in to your friends or relatives house you can have something to eat.

I agree with what the respectable members here had to say, all in all, only you who can do the better judgement in assessing your relationship with your gf.

If I may ask, what work does she do?

I remember that I was working hard while going to college.. because my kuripot stepfather wants me to work. And I did sell credit cards with some agency that was 16 years ago when I started. And believe it or not I made between 9,000-25,000 a month, then I did sell insurance and got myself into real estate, MLM and call centre.

I must say, I had much better life in PI.. the lifestyle, travels, friends and family.
But I'm not complaining.. I married the best man in the world. Even though my hands are getting rough from doing house works etc because we cannot afford a maid.

I'm sure rayna here would agree with me.

I do agree with you purple..:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[malditako]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find. :cwm25:

you couldn't find one lol

[grahamw48]

you couldn't find one lol

True, but I am truly blessed in finding my sweet and humble Filipina.

I just hope that she will forgive me for my deceit when she finds out that really I'm a 'secret millionaire', with a business empire and homes in three countries. :cwm3:

[Jellodude]

Hiya :)

I got photos from her Zambales trip no problem. Our next problem is her being able to afford enrollment fee for the next trimester (roughly 23k in total) You can pay in installments each month but she is not sure she can afford because she got loans to pay for the last trimester and previous years (she is in last year of undergraduate degree). So even if i pay the balance (she has balance of 6k atm) how will she afford to pay the enrollment fee for this trimester?

Related to this problem is that she thinks she will be fired from her job if she has to quit college because she works an early shift to fit in with her college classes. So if her work finds out she isnt going to college anymore they will either fire her or change her shift to a much worse one (think workplace bullying which happened at this later shift)


At least the partial good news is that if she has to stop college now she should have the option to go back and finish it right? (she is in year 3 or 4 of degree)


Also here is a hypothetical question i was wondering about. (when i think about the long term planning). The £18600 minimum that a sponsor must earn each year for the person they are sponsoring to be admitted to UK via visitor visa) can that be split between the sponsor and the visitor? e.g. if she manages to save 5k then the sponsor would only need 13000. Also if the sponsor has savings of 10,000 would they still need to meet the £18600 UK minimum to sponsor their visitor?


I actually would also consider moving to the philippines and living and working there but from what i have heard unless you have a highly specialized job which is extreely sought after in the philippines then its hard to get work permit.

thanks :Wave:

[SteveJ]

Hiya :)

I got photos from her Zambales trip no problem. Our next problem is her being able to afford enrollment fee for the next trimester (roughly 23k in total) You can pay in installments each month but she is not sure she can afford because she got loans to pay for the last trimester and previous years (she is in last year of undergraduate degree). So even if i pay the balance (she has balance of 6k atm) how will she afford to pay the enrollment fee for this trimester?

Related to this problem is that she thinks she will be fired from her job if she has to quit college because she works an early shift to fit in with her college classes. So if her work finds out she isnt going to college anymore they will either fire her or change her shift to a much worse one (think workplace bullying which happened at this later shift)


At least the partial good news is that if she has to stop college now she should have the option to go back and finish it right? (she is in year 3 or 4 of degree)


Also here is a hypothetical question i was wondering about. (when i think about the long term planning). The £18600 minimum that a sponsor must earn each year for the person they are sponsoring to be admitted to UK via visitor visa) can that be split between the sponsor and the visitor? e.g. if she manages to save 5k then the sponsor would only need 13000. Also if the sponsor has savings of 10,000 would they still need to meet the £18600 UK minimum to sponsor their visitor?


I actually would also consider moving to the philippines and living and working there but from what i have heard unless you have a highly specialized job which is extreely sought after in the philippines then its hard to get work permit.

thanks :Wave:

JelloDude.... My understanding is that £18,600 is the annual income you must have, savings can contribute to the financial requirement if you have an annual income shortfall, but this only applies to savings above an initial £16k

It is also possible to meet the financial requirement using only savings, but this must equate to £62.5k or more to wholly meet the financial requirement and these savings must be held for at least 6 months prior to the application.

I believe cash savings can be either yours or your partners.

I am sure that other members can validate whether the above is correct or not.

Hope this helps, Best of luck to you..

[raynaputi]

The £18,600 financial requirement for a sponsor is for a settlement visa and NOT a visit visa. For a visit visa, read this.. http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/visiting/sponsoringavisitor/