Alan
6th September 2007, 18:43
Ok guys. Last time it was history.
Today's lesson from The Teach. is - English.
There are basically four types of noun - Female i.e. auntie - Male i.e. King - Neuter i.e. baby - and common i.e. table.
However, did you know it was possible to ascribe gender even to common nouns?
This is what I mean:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but
you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes
a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong
buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often
over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their ****
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
Getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old
lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the
weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly
changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would
be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd
be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to
push, he just keeps trying.
Al. :)
Today's lesson from The Teach. is - English.
There are basically four types of noun - Female i.e. auntie - Male i.e. King - Neuter i.e. baby - and common i.e. table.
However, did you know it was possible to ascribe gender even to common nouns?
This is what I mean:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but
you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes
a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong
buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often
over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their ****
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
Getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old
lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the
weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly
changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would
be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd
be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to
push, he just keeps trying.
Al. :)