Is there such thing as getting married on the first meeting

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Everyone!.... I just want your comments on getting married on the first meeting.
Boy and girl have been chatting and sending e-mails to each other for already 4 months. They are madly in-love with each other. Then boy have decided to meet the girl in person but girl refused to due to some reasons. She wanted to gather more evidence of their relationship which will be needed in filing for a visa. Their chats, phone bills, e-mails. And so Both decided on meeting on the 8th month. Boy have given the girl authority to sort out things that will be needed in their wedding. Everything is being sent to the boy's e-mail before the girl decides to give it a go like the venue, the people to be invited, the wedding dress, etc. etc.
Isn't this unusual? Both have decided to get married without meeting first? Just concerned about this particular love story.....

[Shifty-Sidney]

I would be concerned too! if they like each other so much then they would want to meet as soon as possible. I get the feeling the girl may not be telling the truth about some things. Maybe she is not as she describes. Sorry for being sceptical, but i know very well how things can go wrong.
Why do they not want to meet first? - something is not right here.:NoNo:

[aromulus]

"If it sounds too good to be true... It usually ain't".....

I dont think it is a kosher relationship... She sounds too desperate... Something stinks there.... Like a scam in the offing...

Even if it happened for real, I don't think that the Embassy, would view it favorably, as Marriage at first meeting usually indicates a sham wedding, to bypass Immigration rules.

Even arranged ethnic marriages are scrutinized ever so sharply, nowadays.
I read somewhere ,that the UK is trying to have the practice of arranged marriages banned and unlawful. As it would infringe personal freedoms of choice.

So, something like that sounds very suspicious to me. Meeting each other a couple of times, before the eventual wedding is strongly advised.
Also to make sure of real compatibility.

[andypaul]

Married for life on first meeting in person thats a bit scary.

I know of many people who might talk about marriage before meeting but you need to at least meet once for a while in person and then have sometime to reflect before taking the plunge in to such a lifechanging step.

[purplealien]

Sounds all a bit suspicious to me, I know my gf calls me a turtle cos our engagement is so long, but this is the other extreme! No way you can really know someone until you are in their company.

[Mich]

marriage is BIG step. and marrying at first meeting can be scary. they have to be careful in making this decsion. i just wish they wont regret anything in the end. :NoNo:

[pennybarry]

marriage is BIG step. and marrying at first meeting can be scary. they have to be careful in making this decsion. i just wish they wont regret anything in the end. :NoNo:


Yes I agree it's scary :omg:, it seems that you are TAKING THE RISK. But then there are some lucky relationship. I have a friend who wanted to marry a British and luckily my husband has friend who wanted to marry a filipina. They met thru us and after 2 weeks of their chatting the Brits arrived in Phil and on their first week they decided to marry and they married in Manila. I am against with that, but they said, they are in their 40' already so they know what they're doing:cwm23: And once again my brod in Law when he first met my friend cousin after 2 weeks chatting, they decided to marry:D, Same reason " they are on thier 50's:omg: so they know what they're doing:doh

These 2 couples are both happy indeed:xxgrinning--00xx3::yikes: They look like in their SWEET 16

[mommyhere]

Both have decided to get married without meeting first?
Well.. as how the brits say it.. Wha? :doh Wha? :doh Wha?:doh

is my accent here righ ? :)

[tiger@tigress]

Both have decided to get married without meeting first?

:Erm::Erm::Erm::Erm:

[Alan]

I think that marrying on first meeting is a bit ridiculous.
I think that a couple should meet at least 500 times before they even hold hands. :Cuckoo:
I would say that 20 years of courtship is just about right.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Al.:)



Oh - by the way, Hanna and I married on 2nd meeting. :cwm12::D

[andypaul]

I think that marrying on first meeting is a bit ridiculous.
I think that a couple should meet at least 500 times before they even hold hands. :Cuckoo:
I would say that 20 years of courtship is just about right.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Al.:)



Oh - by the way, Hanna and I married on 2nd meeting. :cwm12::D

So your first vist was for 500 days long and 20 years ago:omg:

[kimmi]

So your first vist was for 500 days long and 20 years ago:omg:

is it true Prof Al? is that wot u mean on ur post?he he he he :Rasp::Rasp::cwm12:

[theresa]

:NoNo: i smell something fishy there. the girl said yes to a marriage and not to meeting each other first.:Brick::Brick::Brick:
somebody has :) like a:action-smiley-081:

[tommyw]

loneliness seems to do some very strange things to some men's heads it seems! Totally agree with aromulus about being too good to be true.
I must admit though, that I really fell for Lyn the 1st time I met her,
I just wanted to spend every wakened hour with her, and still feel the same, perhaps even more so. We got married on my 4th visit to Philippines, but it would have been much sooner if the choice was mine, she called me 'Express!'
It was after MANY 'dates' that I was eventually allowed to hold her hand.
This I wasn't used to but really respected her. After years of dating women here, I found the 1 for me when I wasn't even looking.
I had went to Masbate to visit my sponsor child Andrew as he had been
very ill with dengue a few months before. That's how I met Lyn on my 2nd day in Phils.
Jeez, I really went into 1 there, di ba? I didn't intend to, but there you go.

[Mich]

Yes I agree it's scary :omg:, it seems that you are TAKING THE RISK. But then there are some lucky relationship. I have a friend who wanted to marry a British and luckily my husband has friend who wanted to marry a filipina. They met thru us and after 2 weeks of their chatting the Brits arrived in Phil and on their first week they decided to marry and they married in Manila. I am against with that, but they said, they are in their 40' already so they know what they're doing:cwm23: And once again my brod in Law when he first met my friend cousin after 2 weeks chatting, they decided to marry:D, Same reason " they are on thier 50's:omg: so they know what they're doing:doh

These 2 couples are both happy indeed:xxgrinning--00xx3::yikes: They look like in their SWEET 16



Lucky for them, they made the right choice. Marrying at first meeting is very risky. But life is always about taking risks. We dont know the outcome of their decisions. Let's just hope it goes well... :rolleyes:

[Pepe n Pilar]

I have commented on this....The girl said they are already of right age and they know what they're doing. If ever they will find out something they can't take then they will separate ways. It is the same as meeting first then get married on the 2nd or 3rd meeting or whatever but then again if they find out their not compatible they will still decide to separate ways..... Or meet first for many times before deciding to marry but if the relationship goes sour or if they fall out of love then she said it will still be the same.... I just hope everything will be fine with this couple. We all don't know what will happen after marriage, we hope to have a lasting relationship afterall.....

[anya]

Hi Everyone!.... I just want your comments on getting married on the first meeting.
Boy and girl have been chatting and sending e-mails to each other for already 4 months. They are madly in-love with each other. Then boy have decided to meet the girl in person but girl refused to due to some reasons. She wanted to gather more evidence of their relationship which will be needed in filing for a visa. Their chats, phone bills, e-mails. And so Both decided on meeting on the 8th month. Boy have given the girl authority to sort out things that will be needed in their wedding. Everything is being sent to the boy's e-mail before the girl decides to give it a go like the venue, the people to be invited, the wedding dress, etc. etc.
Isn't this unusual? Both have decided to get married without meeting first? Just concerned about this particular love story.....


what the :furious3: are they thinking? :Brick:

[Tonet]

I know someone who marry a Canadian on the 2nd day of their first meeting after about 3 months of chatting.

i don't think she's up to scamming him, but saw an opportunity to have a better life in Canada and the guy needs a companion. So long as they both know whats happening I don't see anything wrong with their situation.

they like each other and possibly end up loving each other

[flyingsparks]

You can learn a lot about someone during a long distance but there are still many things that you will only ever find out about someone by actually spending some time with them.
Meeting someone and then deciding to get married after a few days is one thing, but this is very different to a couple arranging a wedding before they have even met each other.
I'd be very sceptical about this scenario, especially if the girl is reluctant to agree to an earlier meeting when it is suggested.

It might work out great for them, but I fear something else is going on here.

[Shifty-Sidney]

:doh
I hope they are not still thinking of this.
Maybe they should know my story - i talk with the girl on cam for months, meet her in Fils - have a wonderful week with the most beautiful girl i have ever seen....... then find out she is a lady-boy!!! :omg::doh
I hope this is a lesson to the people who consider marrying on first meeting:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[hilda_danao]

and then they're marrying in Philippines where there's no divorce? :yikes: i think that's really ridiculous. no one in here dare agree with that kinda stupid thing to do.

[kimmi]

even if u belong in the same place or same country like filipino-filipina it is really hard marrying on the first meeting,u still need to get to know each other.. what more if u only talk on the internet and see each other on cam?
Like Mark said, he himself have been fooled with this though he's not yet thinking marriage yet at that moment still there's some of us who's trying to hide or keep something especially on the first meeting..well, in this new generation, i guess they dont value the marriage anymore..thinking they can easily replace their wife/husband if something goes wrong..too bad..:(

[Pepe n Pilar]

Yea as far as i'm concerned i don't agree too. I also want to know the person well before deciding into marriage besides after the first meeting and you still continue to communicate with each other and the feelings are still the same or even grew fonder with each other, missing him every single minute then that would be great.....

[IanB]

I just wonder if things are changing? Through the internet and webcams you can now get a very good idea of what a person is like. Really serious relationships now sometimes start that way. Even phone calls are now so cheap that people can chat away for hours. I think it is about time that the embassy / UK gov started to recognise that. In these days of low carbon, maybe some time it will be regarded as the best way to meet people from another country?

Is there also a bit of snobbishness about the internet? Novles have been written about people who fell in love when writing letters to each other over the course of many years!

Having said that, 4 months is not very long to get to know someone, and meeting face to face must surely be the best way. On the other hand, I lived with my first wife for two years before marrying her, and boy was that a mistake! (with the excpetion of my lovely son, of course.)

Ian

[joebloggs]

On the other hand, I lived with my first wife for two years before marrying her, and boy was that a mistake! (with the excpetion of my lovely son, of course.)


if you lived with her for 2yrs, you knew what she was like, so why marry her ? and why the mistake then ?

i did the oppersite, i was married more than 2 years before i lived with her :doh

[kimmi]

and u have a lovely son Joe..:)

[joebloggs]

:xxgrinning--00xx3: little joe is into DIY,hes wrecking the house :cwm24::bigcry:
worse hes trying to walk and hes not 11 months yet :cwm24:, we will be living in the garden shed if he wrecks much more :Help1:

[kimmi]

which one will i call joe?police station,firemen,carpenters,911?he he he :)

[IanB]

"if you lived with her for 2yrs, you knew what she was like, so why marry her ? and why the mistake then ?"

Good question! I suppose there were a few reasons. I did not want to leave her in Thailand to fend for herself. I thought her temper would get better as her life got easier. And I loved her!

Ian

[tiger@tigress]

Hi Everyone!.... I just want your comments on getting married on the first meeting.
Boy and girl have been chatting and sending e-mails to each other for already 4 months. They are madly in-love with each other. Then boy have decided to meet the girl in person but girl refused to due to some reasons. She wanted to gather more evidence of their relationship which will be needed in filing for a visa. Their chats, phone bills, e-mails. And so Both decided on meeting on the 8th month. Boy have given the girl authority to sort out things that will be needed in their wedding. Everything is being sent to the boy's e-mail before the girl decides to give it a go like the venue, the people to be invited, the wedding dress, etc. etc.
Isn't this unusual? Both have decided to get married without meeting first? Just concerned about this particular love story.....

I know one couple got married at the first visit...

[charlwill]

Who are we to condemn them? If they really in love with each other, why not? Yes, it is very risky but if they think they're doing it on the right track, then good for them. Getting married is not how long we know the person, it is how sincere and genuine the person is. After all marriage is a gamble. There are plenty of couples that been married after seeing each other 2 or 3 times and been into a long engagement before they decided to get married but still, they end up having divorced and seperated with each other. Men or women try to show their best when they are still BF/GF relationship and showing the true behavior and attitude after they been living together in one roof. I have a friends who have been married without seeing each other first before getting married but they are successful in their married life and they already married for 15 years and blessed with two sons. So, we can never tell what the future of everyone.

[kimmi]

i agree with u Char,there's a saying that u cannot know the real attitude/character of a person until u live with him/her under one roof..

ive known plenty of friends,who got engage for a long time and seen each other for many times but still it didn't end successfully..

and I have a cousin who met her husband thru the internet dating site and after a month they got married and they just celebrated their 5th year wedding anniversary last January..

nobody can say what will gonna happen,but if we truly and genuinely love a person we will do everything to make the relationship works.:)