View Full Version : Physical Violence
marksroomspain
22nd September 2013, 16:42
Any views from you guys on physical violence whether a man to a woman or vice versa?
lordna
22nd September 2013, 18:12
Physical violence man to a woman in ANY form is a definite NO NO NO. That's just the way i was brought up and NEVER saw my father strike my mother and he would never have thought of it.
I think women to a man should really be the same as you should respect each other.
Ako Si Jamie
22nd September 2013, 19:34
I think anyone is within their rights to hit their partner so long as it's in self defence. Male or female.
marksroomspain
22nd September 2013, 19:46
I definitely agree on that same story as me growing up.
marksroomspain
22nd September 2013, 19:51
I think anyone is within their rights to hit their partner so long as it's in self defence. Male or female.
:nono-1-1:I certainly don't condone that I believe once that is done within a marriage then a new level is hit and fear and lack of respect takes over...
What I do believe is to protect oneself and maybe restrain but certainly not to strike whether in the first place or in retaliation...
Just my opinion...
Ako Si Jamie
22nd September 2013, 20:01
:nono-1-1:I certainly don't condone that I believe once that is done within a marriage then a new level is hit and fear and lack of respect takes over...
What I do believe is to protect oneself and maybe restrain but certainly not to strike whether in the first place or in retaliation...
Just my opinion...The lack of respect begins when the first blow is dealt and you can't blame the victim who is trying to defend themselves for that.
Michael Parnham
22nd September 2013, 20:11
Can't comment really as I have never witnessed any violence in my life!:xxgrinning--00xx3:
grahamw48
22nd September 2013, 20:24
Physical violence man to a woman in ANY form is a definite NO NO NO. That's just the way i was brought up and NEVER saw my father strike my mother and he would never have thought of it.
I think women to a man should really be the same as you should respect each other.
Totally agree. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 10:30
I think anyone is within their rights to hit their partner so long as it's in self defence. Male or female.
A touchy subject this.....Unless you been married to a hell cat or an absolute brute, you don't really know how you would react. When it does happen for the first time and it goes unchecked ie; police intervention then, it's more than likely to set a trend in the relationship.
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 10:37
a tuff one this ,like everything in life until you are in that situation all you can do is guess what you say will never happen, but mark my words you only can take so much whether you are a man or woman, but in that moment of madness, you have to live with that all your life, even if everyone around you says you was pushed,, just my pennies worth
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 10:39
Physical violence man to a woman in ANY form is a definite NO NO NO. That's just the way i was brought up and NEVER saw my father strike my mother and he would never have thought of it.
I think women to a man should really be the same as you should respect each other.
Hi lordna
You were lucky..I saw both my parents lay into each other on a regular basis during our childhood, same age as your step daughter..drink induced as always was the case..this is probably why I'm teetotal. Booze was never associated with happy times.
Strange thing is, they worked out their differences be it 30 years later!!.....Physical violence does not mean it's the end of the road..it can be treated only if they want it treated just like an alcoholic and a smoker
BTW calling the police back in the late 60s may not have worked...they probably would of told Dad to give her some more :NoNo:
Nowadays it's different..help is at hand...it wont mean the end of the relationship!!...no one want to see a broken family ...it could well set the warring parents onto the right track
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 10:41
When it does happen for the first time and it goes unchecked ie; police intervention then, it's more than likely to set a trend in the relationship.
i disagree Mark, the marriage i think would be over though, but also remember if this did happpen it does not make the people bad people who ever it was who made the first move
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 10:50
i disagree Mark, the marriage i think would be over though, but also remember if this did happpen it does not make the people bad people who ever it was who made the first move
Steve. What i meant was, if the last blow up resulted in blows, there's a good chance it will happen again the next time
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 11:03
yes and no Mark, like we have said, this thread is a tuff one,
being the youngest of 13 you can imagine the rows in the family home, but looking back on it now i think it was all beer talk from my dad, the shouting but i did never witness physical abuse at all, lots of verbal :furious3::furious3:, lots of brothers fighting, sometimes sisters too, but in my day that was part of growing up,
Anyone who thinks they might be in a relationship that may become abusive, walk away thats my advice
grahamw48
23rd September 2013, 11:06
Anyone who thinks they might be in a relationship that may become abusive, walk away thats my advice
Exactly. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 11:29
yes and no Mark, like we have said, this thread is a tuff one, being the youngest of 13 you can imagine the rows in the family home, but looking back on it now i think it was all beer talk from my dad, the shouting but i did never witness physical abuse at all, lots of verbal :furious3::furious3:, lots of brothers fighting, sometimes sisters too, but in my day that was part of growing up,
Anyone who thinks they might be in a relationship that may become abusive, walk away thats my advice
That's it. ..what was deemed acceptable in our day, wouldn't last 5 minutes in today's world.
I'm only going by own experiences of witnessing these goings on.
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 11:35
seems like most of us was born in a different era, was it right was it wrong what happened then who knows did it do us any harm i dont think so, and just like you, its down to our own experience in life too
tiger31
23rd September 2013, 15:24
well I grew up and never witnessed any violence between my parents thank god .I had not laid a finger as an adult on anyone until when I one day my ex wife decided to throw a full cup of coffee fresh out the kettle at me and burnt my arm I I jumped up in pain and pounded her head with my hand ,but it was,nt a full force if you know what I mean ,I am ashamed to admit that I reacted like that but it was a reaction that just happened .we stayed married for a few more years without inncident but I never forgave her for doing it to me .She was a spoilt child used to getting her own way and this is how she reacted when she did,nt get her own way all the time hence she is now an ex .oh yes I also got chicken chow mein poured over my head because I was an hour late home :biggrin: but my boxer dog loved that moment coz she hoovered all the mess up very quickly .
bigmarco
23rd September 2013, 16:21
I believe in treating the wife like the garden.... A good dig once a year does the trick.:biggrin:
Joking aside I'll agree with Lordna. It's a no no as far as men go and if it happens it should signal the end of the relationship.
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 16:32
well I grew up and never witnessed any violence between my parents thank god .I had not laid a finger as an adult on anyone until when I one day my ex wife decided to throw a full cup of coffee fresh out the kettle at me and burnt my arm I I jumped up in pain and pounded her head with my hand ,but it was,nt a full force if you know what I mean ,I am ashamed to admit that I reacted like that but it was a reaction that just happened .we stayed married for a few more years without inncident but I never forgave her for doing it to me .She was a spoilt child used to getting her own way and this is how she reacted when she did,nt get her own way all the time hence she is now an ex .oh yes I also got chicken chow mein poured over my head because I was an hour late home :biggrin: but my boxer dog loved that moment coz she hoovered all the mess up very quickly .
what people dont see is that split second between doing something and doing nothing, overstep it and there is no going back, ever, you just move on never forgeting what as happened, do you learn from it, well speaking from my own experience, YES YOU DO
stevewool
23rd September 2013, 16:38
Physical violence man to a woman in ANY form is a definite NO NO NO..
I think women to a man should really be the same
we are all different in our views but we try to mean the same,
I agree its a no no for any person in a relationship to hit one another, but it happens for what ever reason, funny you say you only think when a women commits this to man it should be the same, but a big NO NO the other way round
grahamw48
23rd September 2013, 16:38
I NEVER even thought about striking my ex.
I also never struck any of my children....except ONE time when I slapped my stepdaughter on the arm when she was about 11.
Do you know, I felt so awful afterwards...even though she had been very naughty, and it has preyed on my mind ever since. :NoNo:
Both of my parents regularly beat us kids, but I didn't want to follow in their footsteps.
sars_notd_virus
23rd September 2013, 21:24
Anyone who thinks they might be in a relationship that may become abusive, walk away thats my advice
Very well said Steve:xxgrinning--00xx3:
a well deserved rep for you.
sars_notd_virus
23rd September 2013, 21:29
Any views from you guys on physical violence whether a man to a woman or vice versa?
All I can say is that woman should be handled with tender loving care ...(full stop)!!
..if you cant handle your woman properly just bring her back to her parents (another full stop!!)
There is no way that a woman can overpower a Man physically...as in NO way unless shes a wrestler or a power builder!!
Ako Si Jamie
23rd September 2013, 21:38
..if you cant handle your woman properly just bring her back to her parents (another full stop!!)
:icon_lol:
bigmarco
23rd September 2013, 22:21
..if you cant handle your woman properly just bring her back to her parents (another full stop!!)
:xxgrinning--00xx3: I agree.
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 23:30
:icon_lol:
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 23:46
''Anyone who thinks they might be in a relationship that may become abusive, walk away thats my advice''
I would have to be sure the relationship is physically abusive before I would end it, Steve...especially when children are involved...it's a lonely world out there for a single mother no matter what benefits they've got on tap
fred
23rd September 2013, 23:47
There is no way that a woman can overpower a Man physically...as in NO way unless shes a wrestler or a power builder!!
A mate of mine was married to a province girl older than him some years back.. She was viscous and VERY jealous!!
If he came home an hour late from work there were always consequences..
One day she threw the TV at him but forgot to unplug it first so attacked him with claws where he ended up down a flight of stairs..
Most of his internal doors had been kicked in either by him or her.. Never a dull moment..
My point is that she may not have had his physical strength but her jealousy and character demanded she pick up something heavy or sharp to equalize the situation..
One day at work he told everyone that he was mauled by a dog to cover up for his injuries.. People believed him and so did I...Only I knew the dog that did it..
Yes..They got divorced eventually.
gWaPito
23rd September 2013, 23:52
:xxgrinning--00xx3: I agree.
LBC do a good deal..£70 for a jumbo box..Ideal size for sending them back:icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:
tiger31
24th September 2013, 02:16
thats the best advice to walk away .It takes a bigger man to walk away .The problem is women sometimes can push a man to the point of no return and are shocked in the way they sometimes react .we are humans and have all different levels of tollerence ,if your in a toxic relationship its better to get out and walk rather than have your self esteem to be destroyed .
London_Manila
24th September 2013, 02:43
Of course physical violence against men or women is wrong
Some people will invent stories about physical violence having been committed just to win other people over or to get the husband banned from the marital home
Becoming quite a common practice now in many marital disputes......
gWaPito
24th September 2013, 08:46
Of course physical violence against men or women is wrong
Some people will invent stories about physical violence having been committed just to win other people over or to get the husband banned from the marital home
Becoming quite a common practice now in many marital disputes......
Good post LM....the sad fact is, it's so true:NoNo:
I've sent you a deserved rep for that:xxgrinning--00xx3:
Ako Si Jamie
27th September 2013, 19:34
Unless you been married to a hell cat or an absolute brute, you don't really know how you would react. .So true. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
If someone had thrown boiling hot coffee over me like in Brian's case I couldn't be 100% sure I'd not react physically.
grahamw48
27th September 2013, 22:59
Perhaps attack is being confused with (reasonable and proportionate) defence here ? :smile:
gWaPito
27th September 2013, 23:05
If a little waif is trying to take your eyes out with a screwdriver what wld you do? I'm afraid that's when most folks survival instincts kick in and to hell with the consequences
Ako Si Jamie
28th September 2013, 07:54
Perhaps attack is being confused with (reasonable and proportionate) defence here ? :smile:
I'm not saying that lashing out after being doused with boiling hot water is the correct thing to do, but it is understandable as it's a knee-jerk reaction to a barbaric act. :smile:
grahamw48
28th September 2013, 09:45
Yes, it is understandable, in the circumstances Jamie. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
sars_notd_virus
28th September 2013, 11:19
All I can say is that woman should be handled with tender loving care ...(full stop)!!
..if you cant handle your woman properly just bring her back to her parents (another full stop!!)
There is no way that a woman can overpower a Man physically...as in NO way unless shes a wrestler or a power builder!!
:icon_lol:
Hey jamieXXXmaria;45884...amused enuff eh, caused you to laff your ar$e out??:Erm:
gWaPito
28th September 2013, 12:41
The problem is women sometimes can push a man to the point of no return and are shocked in the way they sometimes react.
I've experienced this Brian. ..I was in 27 year relationship with my first wife..not once did I lay a hand on her in anger. ..may be the odd elbow and right foot :biggrin: Joking aside, not once was I provoked into such actions. .same with my second wife. .nada!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. .until you've lived with someone like that, you don't know how you would react.
Love and Peace Xx
Gwaps
Ako Si Jamie
28th September 2013, 14:45
Hey jamieXXXmaria;45884...amused enuff eh, caused you to laff your ar$e out??:Erm:I was laughing
about the comment about taking her back to her parents.
gWaPito
28th September 2013, 15:03
I was laughing
about the comment about taking her back to her parents.
While you're at it Jamie, would you mind pushing your ar$e back in :laugher::bigcry:
Ako Si Jamie
28th September 2013, 15:58
:icon_lol: $ure
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