Hi all

[jhoiz]

How are you doin everyone? I'm a Filipina married to British and we have a daughter. Been to England and now living in Manila while husband is working on a ship. This site is very interesting and hoping to meet friends here.

Anyways, hope all of you are having a pleasant day. Feels good to try and see if I can find friends online.:Hellooo:

jhoiz:cwm38:

[gingxrick]

Mabuhay jhoiz you'll be able to make friends here very easy, see you already have 2 me (ricky) and gingx2 take care and god bless.

[jhoiz]

Thanks Ricky & Gingx2! I'm really glad to meet you two. I'm here cuz I have questions I'm looking for answers that I hope people here could help me out. If you'd be kind enough to please hear me out and reply to my questions then you'd be helping me big time.

I posted a question but no one seem to reply. I'm not being pessimistic,just being realistic.

My husband works on a cruise ship. Works for 5 months, on vacation for a month then works again for another 5 months. The thing is, my husband admitted to me that he cheated on me. That was when he was drunk. Next day, when he was sobber he told me he lied about cheating and said he always behaved really good. I read a message on his phone which he sent to his cabin mate saying: "Don't rush coming back in the room cuz I'm busy".

Like I said in the other post, we're still together but he's back on the ship and I can't just ignore his confession. I'm worried sick especially for my daughter. I only want the best for her. That's why I'm asking you guys out there...talk to me please. What shall I do?

[Mrs Daddy]

Hi there jhoiz welcome to the forum:) am sorry to hear about your situation.Honestly ,i dont know what to tell you but I know that you`re very upset about it.Just dont lose hope and pray that everything will be alright!

[gingxrick]

Hi jhoiz, Sorry to say to you but I cant give you much advice on your situation,its up to you to believe your husband, are you in the UK or Phils?maybe when he gets back from sea you can both sit down and have a long talk to each other,try to sort things out seeing there is a child involved,hope everything works out for both of you. Take care and god bless. Ricky and Ging

[kimmi]

Hi jhoiz,welcome to the forum..:)Just have faith and I am sure everything is happening for a reason, we may not know the reason right now but I am sure in God's time we will..just have faith..

[charlwill]

:Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo::Hellooo:
Hi jhoiz,welcome to the forum.

[jhoiz]

I'm thankful I found this site. Knew this will be of big help to me. The situation is the kind that I'm not ready to talk about to people I'm close to but I know I need to talk to someone otherwise I will only be punishing myself keeping everything to myself. I do hope everything will be fine. I guess life in deed is full of surprises, can be good but can also be not so good.

Thanks again guys. And to Ricky & Ging, I am in the Phils..

[jhoiz]

Oh and guys, if you do know anything about joint physical custody please let me know cuz I honestly have no idea at all what to do. I only want to be educated.

Thanks again everyone and God bless you all for being such a blessing to others.

[aug06_2006]

Hello jhoiz, sorry to hear your situation..you are welcome to this helpful site.

[aromulus]

hello jhoiz welcome to the forum im sorry to heard about your problem don't loose hope god is always there for us welling to listen. jet

[jhoiz]

hello jhoiz welcome to the forum im sorry to heard about your problem don't loose hope god is always there for us welling to listen. jet

I agree. Thank you jet :)

[tiger@tigress]

Hiya jhoiz welcome to the forum feel free to share us anything its hard keeping it inside you... God Bless

[KeithD]

They cheat once, they do it again in the majority of cases.

I keep telling my kids they are only here because I was drunk! :D

[charlwill]

.........joint physical custody please let me know cuz I honestly have no idea at all what to do. I only want to be educated.

Thanks again everyone and God bless you all for being such a blessing to others.

Both have the same legal rights of custody and control of the child.

[jhoiz]

They cheat once, they do it again in the majority of cases.

:omg: Very true.

[kimmi]

They cheat once, they do it again in the majority of cases.



:omg: very true

:NoNo::NoNo::doh too bad but its true..:Brick::Brick::bigcry:

[mach]

hi jhoiz & weLcome :Hellooo:

[KeithD]

Part I:

Do you ever notice all the women give polite answers, while the guys are straight to the point...and then the women agree? :icon_lol:



The thing is, my husband admitted to me that he cheated on me. That was when he was drunk. Next day, when he was sobber he told me he lied about cheating and said he always behaved really good.


Unless he's had a sex change in his past, here is what happens with guys.

We get drunk for two reasons only, to have fun, or because we have a real bad problem.

Being drunk may mean we 'forget' (most times conveniently :rolleyes:) about things we did or said the following day. All guys have been there, done that.

But when we are drunk for the reason of having a problem, the alcohol reaches a point where our emotions come out, and you start blurting out the problem to anyone who is listening.

Alcohol and emotions for a guy very rarely lead to saying something that is a blantant lie, and will knowingly cause extreme distress to someone you love, unless they are a complete retard. :Cuckoo:

Are you getting the picture?

[KeithD]

Part II:

Now taking the above post into account, and being a little bit of a gambler :rolleyes:, I wouldn't even offer odds on the fact he's been sticking his wick in another sea of damp passion...:cwm24:

The question now is 'Do you ignore what he said and carry on?'.

Women will say, "It only happened once, he won't do it again, forgive him, do what the Lord says'.....:ARsurrender: :Brick:

Where as a guy would say "He's only told you about ONE, what about all the others, and those to cum (spelling!!!) on the next cruise"

You only live once, plenty of trusting men out there, just read through this forum. This guy wants to share his load, and safe in the knowledge he has a submissive wife back home he can rely on.

[gracia143]

I'm with you on that Keith, especially when the liqour has got some truth serum on it...anyway Jhoiz i smell something fishy about the text message he sent to his mate. Don't play the deaf ear here but don't nag as nagging won't help. Try diplomacy or worst yet use something less blunt like (censored). But seriously, I really wish I could help you...pls keep safe and take care.

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Jhoiz welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your problem.

[joebloggs]

i know you dont drink scouser keith, so why are your kids really here :Erm:

must have been a bet :Erm: .. did you see the guy in the news papers a while ago , who had breast implants for a bet, the thing is he won the bet, but didn't get them removed :icon_lol:

[jhoiz]

I am really upset but I don't plan on being depressed reason why I have to go online to look for someone or people to talk to. Cuz I know that in a forum like this, I'll feel better and I am now so I sincerely thank you all so much.

Didn't fancy telling the whole story but what the heck, here it goes. I'm warning you though, don't be sorry cuz its your fault and I'm a big girl, I'll alright.

I worked in England and I was working with him. Like the usual, we became friends at first then felt love and then got really serious til we decided to live together. He never kept secret from me so I knew from the start that he's got a debt problem. He was skint all the time and I even helped him pay his overdraft. Anyways, after a couple of years I got pregnant. Gave birth in England then we decided to come to the Philippines cuz it is cheaper to live here. We got married here and wanted to settle down here. But we can't find him a good paying job so he decided to work on the cruise ship. I disagree but at that time we didn't have a choice, he's got to work. Everything was ok at first til he went on vacation. It was our wedding anniversary. He got drunk then confessed. He said he was sorry and asked me not to leave him. Then you know what happened next. I am not stupid and it's sad cuz I gave up a lot for him. But life goes on and I need to be strong our daughter.

[jhoiz]

Didn't fancy telling the whole story but what the heck, here it goes. I'm warning you though, don't be sorry cuz its your fault and I'm a big girl, I'll alright.


I meant to say: It's NOT your fault and I'm a big girl, I will be alright...:rolleyes::Cuckoo:

[KeithD]

Get the kid a respectable father to bring her up right.

Going by this forum, plenty of English guys don't mind the annulment hassle, and 'adopting' a kid. Saves us the effort of making them :icon_lol:

Joe: I only packed up drinking about 5 years ago, before then I could have filled the Mersey with what passed through me.....didn't do my liver any good though :angry:

[jhoiz]

[QUOTE=Win2Win;36967]Get the kid a respectable father to bring her up right.

Going by this forum, plenty of English guys don't mind the annulment hassle, and 'adopting' a kid. Saves us the effort of making them :icon_lol:QUOTE]

At the moment, I don't think it's gonna be easy to trust another man :Erm: but I'll keep that in mind :) Thanks mate

[silver13]

You both need serious talking, maybe give him another chance? if things get worse then there are still plenty of good and available men out there or here :) as the admin said, they didn't care the hassle.

[kentish]

It was our wedding anniversary. He got drunk then confessed. He said he was sorry and asked me not to leave him. Then you know what happened next. I am not stupid and it's sad cuz I gave up a lot for him. But life goes on and I need to be strong our daughter.

Hello jhoiz, welcome to the forum.

Kick that guys' backside, and concentrate with your daughter. I'm sure you have families around you who can help you.
If I was in your shoes I would be soooooooooooooooo grateful that he has admitted what he has done so I can get on with my life.
Don't waste your time with him, you have a child to care for.

[jhoiz]

Hello jhoiz, welcome to the forum.

Kick that guys' backside, and concentrate with your daughter. I'm sure you have families around you who can help you.
If I was in your shoes I would be soooooooooooooooo grateful that he has admitted what he has done so I can get on with my life.
Don't waste your time with him, you have a child to care for.

Thanks kentish for the welcome. I didn't marry him for money or visa. What I felt and feel for him is real and strong that's why I'm hurting...Right now I am at the stage where I am putting a lot of things into consideration..and all your comments here is helping me. :)

[KeithD]

Just pray for the following;






Iceberg dead ahead!!! :omg: :D

[gracia143]

abandon Ship!

[KeithD]

What LIFEBOATS? :Erm: :D

[gracia143]

Don't hand him the lifeboats, let him drown:omg:

[jhoiz]

you make me laugh guys! thank you

[aromulus]

Thanks kentish for the welcome. I didn't marry him for money or visa. What I felt and feel for him is real and strong that's why I'm hurting...Right now I am at the stage where I am putting a lot of things into consideration..and all your comments here is helping me. :)

I would tell him to face his responsabilities back home.

To leave the cruise ship, return to England with you and the baby, find a job, pay his debts, and re-start from scratch.

Having worked on cruise ships for a number of years I know only too well about the temptations and the risks involved.
But also I know about the loneliness, the hard work, the cheap drink and the peer pressure. Not an easy life.

Keith is right, if he cheated once, he will most probably do it again, unless you are together. Hence my suggestion for the both of you to return to the Uk.

[aromulus]

Just pray for the following;






Iceberg dead ahead!!! :omg: :D

And of course... Being a scouser, you are well into Icebergs...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Aye, aye, captain..........:D

[gracia143]

you make me laugh guys! thank you

No problemo Jhoiz, that was as easy as learning A, B and C:Hellooo: but we're glad to be of service and that's the main reason why we are all here.

If life seem just too much to bear, come to the forum and just be mad or mental or bonkers. We all deserve a good laugh. Good evening!

[JoytotheWorld]

Hi Jhoiz,

I am new in this forum and I hope you don't mind me voicing out my opinon.

Distant relationship is really difficult. It is always best that the two of you communicate even when he is away, if not, then a lot of worries gets to your head. My own opinion only is if he says he was sorry and promised not to do it again, give him a chance, that is if you really love him. Tell him honestly what you are feeling and that you need his assurance on the relationship. I am married myself and probably would be extremely upset with my husband if he does such things. My husband decided to bring us here so we can be together and eliminates the anxiety of being apart. I know that some couples have to sacrifies being together for their future and one truly needs trust to go through it. In fact I knew a couple who had similar situation, and they were able to patch things up.

If he is most cooperative that is good and If not then just let go. I do not believe in wasting your time with someone who does not honour you or respect you.

The most important thing is to be strong for your own sake and your child.

Joy

[jhoiz]

Hence my suggestion for the both of you to return to the Uk


Problem is a bit more complicated than what it already is if we decide to go back to England because my visa was 4 months expired when I left UK. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go back to UK anymore actually but I'm not bothered for as long as my daughter have what she deserves.

[jhoiz]

No problemo Jhoiz, that was as easy as learning A, B and C:Hellooo: but we're glad to be of service and that's the main reason why we are all here.

If life seem just too much to bear, come to the forum and just be mad or mental or bonkers. We all deserve a good laugh. Good evening!

Glad I found this site :Hellooo: :Hellooo: :Hellooo: Good evening to you too

[jhoiz]

Hi Jhoiz,

I am new in this forum and I hope you don't mind me voicing out my opinon.

Joy

Keep talking to me Joy. I don't mind at all! In fact I value your opinion and really appreciate it.

This afternoon, I had lunch with my mum and next to our table was an old couple who were romantic to each other. They look like they're both on their
70's and it's just so nice to see couples like them. And just can't help wondering how my marriage would endup like.????:xxgrinning--00xx3::doh

[eljean]

I think in marriage you give the last drop of chances to your wife/husband when they commit mistakes or dissapoint you...you share good and bad and while you can last you stay with him/her we always hear the words "in the sake of the child"but then it wasnt really but it was for the sake of the two of you if you can still both work things out...cheating is the most common reason for the breakage of marriage for the reason that you promise each other fidelity and lifetime of togetherness and not to share it with the other...

[KeithD]

cheating is the most common reason for the breakage of marriage

:Erm: I thought it was Death :yikes:

[gracia143]

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
--MT on his Letter to Bowain

But through all these pain and confusing you are in now Jhoiz, you are never alone. You can always count on your family, your friends, and us here. And remember that God is good and he knows what's best for us. You may be hurting today and it might be good to just let time heal all wounds, but one day maybe, you can re-evaluate your feelings and decisions and decide if you can still give him another chance or just totally set yourself free or him. At the end of the day, it is still a matter of what you want or what you want for your child. I speak in behalf of the female genre--I DON'T BELIEVE IN SUFFERING IN SILENCE (anymore), stand up for what you believe and what you feel is right. Love yourself, that way, you can begin to learn to love others again(or love him again). Take care and have a nice day!

[JoytotheWorld]

Keep talking to me Joy. I don't mind at all! In fact I value your opinion and really appreciate it.

This afternoon, I had lunch with my mum and next to our table was an old couple who were romantic to each other. They look like they're both on their
70's and it's just so nice to see couples like them. And just can't help wondering how my marriage would endup like.????:xxgrinning--00xx3::doh

I bet you Jhoiz with the years of this couples togetherness, they have encountered some difficulties at some points in their life, the best thing is they are still together. There is no definite guarantee in life when it comes to marriage, live each day and just keep that fire in your heart for each other burning, if you can still salvage it. It's not one way, both has to work hard for it. At the end of the day, do what you think will make you happy!:)

[gracia143]

I bet you Jhoiz with the years of this couples togetherness, they have encountered some difficulties at some points in their life, the best thing is they are still together. There is no definite guarantee in life when it comes to marriage, live each day and just keep that fire in your heart for each other burning, if you can still salvage it. It's not one way, both has to work hard for it. At the end of the day, do what you think will make you happy!:)

Their secret? "Yes Dear," said the old man.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[JoytotheWorld]

Their secret? "Yes Dear," said the old man.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

:icon_lol: I like that Gracia... :icon_lol:.

[pennybarry]

Joiz,
You are much welcome to the forum.
I think you are the only one who could decide, We have our own limitations. It depends on your limitations. Been hurt before, but never turned back. Once I broke-up with a guy, I never turned back, no matter how it hurts :cwm23:. I wish you could make the right move. Be brave, you are young and beautiful, cheer-up ¬:Hellooo:

[jhoiz]

Joiz,
You are much welcome to the forum.
I think you are the only one who could decide, We have our own limitations. It depends on your limitations. Been hurt before, but never turned back. Once I broke-up with a guy, I never turned back, no matter how it hurts :cwm23:. I wish you could make the right move. Be brave, you are young and beautiful, cheer-up ¬:Hellooo:

That's so sweet. Thanks penny!:cwm38::BouncyHappy: