who here is in a long distance relationship?

[eddiek]

hey gang,

would just like to know if there are many out there in a long distance relationship?

If so, just add some comments as follows:

how long you are apart

how you guys get by
how you are finding it

how often ye talk
what methods of communication ye use

when you get to meet your partner again

here's my story

I said goodbye to my love in September last year

She is currently studying for IELTS and looking to re-apply as a nurse

We speak many times throughout the day, luckily she has mobile data, and tethers her internet to her laptop whenever we need to use a proper laptop based cam.

We use the following modes of communication(in order of use):

whatsapp (65%)
viber (15%)
viber desktop (video function mainly used here) (10)
facebook messenger (5%)
skype (5%)

I go over in April to see her :) :)

I'm finding it OK, our time apart has confirmed to be we are to be, I miss and love her more today than ever before..

ed

[bigmac]

me

[lordna]

A lot of us were in a LDR in the past!

[les_taxi]

Was once but not now

[grahamw48]

Me....2 years now. Just had my second holiday in the Phils with my lady. :smile:

[Michael Parnham]

Me....2 years now. Just had my second holiday in the Phils with my lady. :smile:

Any plan yet Graham?:Erm:

[grahamw48]

Not rushing into anything is my plan. :wink:

I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet. :smile:

Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place. :NoNo:

[Terpe]

hey gang,

would just like to know if there is many out ther ein a long distance relationship?

You'll find almost everyone here is, or has been in that LDR.

Some for a very long time even after marriage.

[cheekee]

Me.

I'm just finished my second visit to Cebu.

Just officially engaged now.

It's hard but we know it's what we want.

We talk everyday on Skype/Google Talk/WhatsApp.

[London_Manila]

I am still tying to find that special woman :wink:

I am in no rush and I have a strict criteria that must be met.
Gold diggers and freelancers are weeded out at an early stage

Hissy fits and temper tantrums are not tolerated

I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

I make that clear from day 1 diba

Yahoo Messenger and Viber

[stevie c]

I was up until 3 & half years ago but thankfully my wife joined me here in the uk in 2010

I certainly wouldn't like to be going through the visa process now :NoNo:

[Slip]

Yes have been for almost 2 years.

[bigmac]

I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

hmmm funny you should say that.

i first met mine here in the uk about 28 months ago--she was on a student visa. flew home in aug 2012. somehow managed to get a visit visa --came back here in july 2013: returned to filis a month ago.

much water--& £ under the bridge in that time.

obviously she wasnt allowed to work during her stay with me--so guess who supported her kids back home. i think the words "thin end " and "wedge" come to mind.

communication is scant--no internet where she lives--and not into endless text chatter or expensive phone calls.

[stevewool]

like many have siad before me, most of us started the same way as you,
If i was to go through it all again i would not bother about bringing her here but would rather save hard for me to go there

[eddiek]

wow, i thought I was the only one!

interesting to hear the different experience, comments and advice given by everyone.

but the one i dont understand is where there is a LDR still taking place - even after the marriage, can someone please explain this situation.

thanks

[bigmac]

that only works if they DONT want to settle in this country

[stevewool]

plus the cost of trying to get your partner here with you, just because you fall in love with that special person and marry her, sometimes you just cannot afford to bring them here, hard yes and i have no idea how some people manage to do that

[bigmac]

i sold my house to free up the capital. only way possible.

[stevewool]

end of the day, its all worth it, thats what i say

[elve_page]

Not rushing into anything is my plan. :wink:

I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet. :smile:

Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place. :NoNo:


You need to be hurry Graham, Mercedes is getting out of patience waiting for you to marry her. Hehehe. And im sure mercedes love to come here in UK.

[Michael Parnham]

Not rushing into anything is my plan. :wink:

I'm hoping to retire there, but a bit early yet. :smile:

Mercedes won't be coming here to this miserable place. :NoNo:

I'm very surprised one says that UK is a miserable place Graham, Maritess misses her family but she loves it here because she doesn't get any criticism about the colour of her skin! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[marksroomspain]

wow, i thought I was the only one!

interesting to hear the different experience, comments and advice given by everyone.

but the one i dont understand is where there is a LDR still taking place - even after the marriage, can someone please explain this situation.

thanks

The way I see is that even after marriage your loved one simply can't jump on a plane and join you no no.

You have to go through the tortuous process of the visa application.

I married my wife in July 2012 and after different countries we decided to settle in I brought her to the UK after a lot of help from my good friends on here.

It was finally in the December I brought my beloved wife here and 34 weeks pregnant to boot so yes another one here been in a LDR, god would I go through the stress again if I could go back in time mmm.......

With this lady I am with now a definite YES... :smile:

[grahamw48]

You need to be hurry Graham, Mercedes is getting out of patience waiting for you to marry her. Hehehe. And im sure mercedes love to come here in UK.

I know you're just joking with me :wink:...but actually, you couldn't be more wrong. :smile:

[Arthur Little]

I certainly wouldn't like to be going through the visa process now :NoNo:

NOR me! :nono-1-1: ... I most definitely would NOT! :NoNo:

It was bad enough before November 2010. But NOW ... :cwm24: ... !

[gWaPito]

I am still tying to find that special woman :wink:

I am in no rush and I have a strict criteria that must be met.
Gold diggers and freelancers are weeded out at an early stage

Hissy fits and temper tantrums are not tolerated

I am willing to support my Girlfriend but i am not so keen on supporting the extended family back in the province

I make that clear from day 1 diba

Yahoo Messenger and Viber

We could be twins:icon_lol::xxgrinning--00xx3:
I've had my fill of those lunatics as well

The only difference being..My girlfriend will be self suffcient and I definitely won't be supporting the clan back home:NoNo:

A tall order some may think...Think again, they are out there. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

I know you're just joking with me :wink:...but actually, you couldn't be more wrong. :smile:

Then she obviously loves you Graham. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Jentobeharrison]

Read this thread and made me interested in answering this! :)

Been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now, he went here twice (May and November 2013). He went back to his mum last Feb 2013 so he can rent out his aparment for a year because it was the easiest way to save for his trips here. Now he cannot go here anymore as he just went back to his apartment so it is quite impossible for him to save.

My first visa (marriage visit visa) was denied and currently collating documents for fiancee visa because now, we are just relying (visa expenses) to what he have saved for a year. If this fiancee visa will be denied, we have no choice but I guess to end our relationship :( The first denied visa was quite depressing how much more with the second one which is really expensive and stressful :( and we will no longer have any way to save more for visa application again, it is like do or die now. Hahaha

Since the day we met until now, we never miss a day not talking to each other even if we are at work. Whatsapp, Viber, Skype, Facebook, Twitter. I am really thankful that these apps are very useful! :)

Long distance relationship must have a goal so both of you have something to look forward to, I swear you won't notice the time. ::) :) :)

[grahamw48]

Well here's my take on LDRs...for what it's worth.

If a man is motivated enough and genuinely puts his relationship with his chosen lady before all else, then he can and will move mountains to 'make it happen'.

Then there are the 'daydreamers' (on both sides).

If either or both partners are not prepared to be flexible, and willing to make certain sacrifices, then I'm afraid the relationship is likely to fail.

A LDR is different, and things can't be expected to work like clockwork, according to some perfect plan. Usually a real EFFORT has to be made, and reality faced.

Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.

Many many good times and a few bad, but never a dull moment. Living life, taking a few risks.

LDRs are not for 'normal' people. They are for couples who are genuinely in love, and who are prepared to go the extra mile to be together.

Daydreamers...forget it, and move along before someone gets hurt. :NoNo:

[stevewool]

well said Graham, :smile:

[bigmac]

Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.


ive just had an hour on FBook with my fiancee. the last 4 weeks have flown by --for me. the lease on my flat is up in may--i could be tempted to but my junk into storage and fly out there for a while. it would save me about £750 a month in rent and c-tax--plus utilities. i bet that would go a lot further out there

has anyone got a ball park figure for furniture storage costs ? or is it easier just to stick the lot in an auction room ?

[grahamw48]

You'll have to google a few sites for current prices, but I'd recommend not throwing too much stuff out, as I've certainly regretted having done so in the past.

Certainly cheaper than paying for an empty property (and no worries about it while you're away).

Think carefully about how easy it will be to find alternative accommodation when you return home though, and whether any of these alterations to your circumstances will affect any future or current visa applications. :smile:

[Terpe]

Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.


ive just had an hour on FBook with my fiancee. the last 4 weeks have flown by --for me. the lease on my flat is up in may--i could be tempted to but my junk into storage and fly out there for a while. it would save me about £750 a month in rent and c-tax--plus utilities. i bet that would go a lot further out there

has anyone got a ball park figure for furniture storage costs ? or is it easier just to stick the lot in an auction room ?

Sounds like your working on a plan there bigmac :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Can't help you with storage costs in your area but I can tell you that prices do vary considerably.....it aint cheap.

We have a place close to us that uses standard containers for storage and charge a Pay As You Go £30 per week per container.
Using some of the self-storage units may offer better facilities and security etc but will probably be priced as such.
Whether it's a cost benefit depends on the replacement costs of the furniture you already have.
You need to consider any special storage environments and also any insurance.

Take note also of the advice given by Graham.
I too have fallen into the 'trap' of getting rid of everything and then discovered the real cost of replacing.......

[bigmac]

and whether any of these alterations to your circumstances will affect any future or current visa applications.

yes--as i understand it--at the visa application stage--i have to show proof of a tenancy agreement--with both of us named----with a minimum of 6 months still to run.

so--if i did vacate--sort furniture storage/disposal--then fly out for a few weeks honeymoon-on-account--then--come back at the time she applies for the visa--and sign up a new tenancy. could be the way to go.

for what its worth--all my gear is no more than 6 years old--some i bought for this gaff--total cost--around £3000---mostly argos. so--its now worth about sixpence. kitchen white goods already gone to a friend in need--this place is all built in.

[grahamw48]

Mate, it's worth what it would cost to replace. Don't fall into that trap. :wink:

My tip: Get rid of bulky furniture or LOAN it out to friends or relations....probably halve your storage space needs. Don't rent a locker/unit bigger than you need. It's amazing how much you can cram in. Practice in your smallest bedroom, to give you an idea. Most standard units are around 8 feet high, so stuff can be stacked up. :smile:

Make sure there is 24 hr access, so when you've just got off that plane, jetlagged, and you want your transistor radio and those comfortable shoes, you can just go in and get them.

Here's a bit of useful info':

http://www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/news/self-storage-units-real-cost-owning-too-much-stuff

(http://www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/news/self-storage-units-real-cost-owning-too-much-stuff)

[bigmac]

Mate, it's worth what it would cost to replace. Don't fall into that trap. :wink:

My tip: Get rid of bulky furniture or LOAN it out to friends or relations....probably halve your storage space needs. Don't rent a locker/unit bigger than you need. It's amazing how much you can cram in. Practice in your smallest bedroom, to give you an idea. Most standard units are around 8 feet high, so stuff can be stacked up. :smile:

Make sure there is 24 hr access, so when you've just got off that plane, jetlagged, and you want your transister radio and those comfortable shoes, you can just go in and get them.

Here's a bit of useful info':

http://www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/news/self-storage-units-real-cost-owning-too-much-stuff

(http://www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/news/self-storage-units-real-cost-owning-too-much-stuff)

thanks for that--good advice. i think--on reflection--the cost of moving out--storage--moving in tends to negate the cost of renting yet leaving unoccupied.

[gWaPito]

Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.


That's a mighty big price to pay. It's been bad enough going through it 8 years, let alone 24 of them.

I'm sure my wiser parents wouldn't of approved neither would I if my children did the same thing.
What do you do. .you hopefully learn from experience.

LDR was awful. ..I nearly lost my job with my last relationship. We met online December 6 2008. I went out to see her in the January for a 3 week holiday, I ended up staying til March. I was out there again in the June , that time I only stayed 3 weeks. ...out again in the October, staying until she had the spouse visa in the December. We arrived as a married couple exactly a year to the day we met December 6 2009. Less approximately 23k spent in that period.

I can safely say, a LDR isn't for me. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

How much has it 'cost' me (had I stayed single) ?

About 300 grand.

Life is for living. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, etc. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[eddiek]

i must say iv enjoyed reading some posts on this thread.

I agree 100% with graham on all of his points, especially that relating to the idea of LDR requiring a lot of effort, and the need for both parties willing to compromise in order to finally be together.

From my experience, LDR is much more feasible in today's world, where smartphones, and good mobile data network coverage can be had both in the UK and in the Philippines.

At the end of the day, the only true posession one has got is his/her life experience, so thank you for reminding me of this fact graham, in reference to your comment about 'cost'.

My situation:

I am in full time employment here in london, my girlfriend is a qualified nurse in PH, currently studying for her grade 7 (minimum) in the IELTS exam in order to potentially secure a job as a nurse here in the UK.

we are looking at jan/feb 2014 as the earliest dates for us to be together.

In the meantime, I plan on going out to her every 6 months, I am heading out to see her on 17. april for 2 weeks. cant wait :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

How much has it 'cost' me (had I stayed single) ?

About 300 grand.

Life is for living. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, etc. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

THIS COULD BE A NEW THREAD STARTER
HOW MUCH HAS IT COST ME

Well me , half my pension at the time of my divorce for a start , what else, i cant remember WHY, because that was yesterday, i am living for today and the future,

[marksroomspain]

Well here's my take on LDRs...for what it's worth.

If a man is motivated enough and genuinely puts his relationship with his chosen lady before all else, then he can and will move mountains to 'make it happen'.

Then there are the 'daydreamers' (on both sides).

If either or both partners are not prepared to be flexible, and willing to make certain sacrifices, then I'm afraid the relationship is likely to fail.

A LDR is different, and things can't be expected to work like clockwork, according to some perfect plan. Usually a real EFFORT has to be made, and reality faced.

Over the past 24 years I have lost track of how many times I've bought and sold houses, put my possessions into store, changed my job, moved countries, come home with nowhere to stay except some cheap hostel or a friend's spare room...all in the interests of maintaining a LDR or a marriage.

Many many good times and a few bad, but never a dull moment. Living life, taking a few risks.

LDRs are not for 'normal' people. They are for couples who are genuinely in love, and who are prepared to go the extra mile to be together.

Daydreamers...forget it, and move along before someone gets hurt. :NoNo:

My sentiments exactly, I like a guy who doesn't mince his words, well put Graham a well deserved rep...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

Thanks ! :biggrin:

Sometimes I wish I'd take my own advice. :icon_lol:

[marksroomspain]

Also glad you found happiness, what a cracking girl...:wink:

[grahamw48]

Thanks again...yes she's a lovely lady, and I'm a lucky guy. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

i must say iv enjoyed reading some posts on this thread.

I agree 100% with graham on all of his points, especially that relating to the idea of LDR requiring a lot of effort, and the need for both parties willing to compromise in order to finally be together.

From my experience, LDR is much more feasible in today's world, where smartphones, and good mobile data network coverage can be had both in the UK and in the Philippines.

At the end of the day, the only true posession one has got is his/her life experience, so thank you for reminding me of this fact graham, in reference to your comment about 'cost'.

My situation:

I am in full time employment here in london, my girlfriend is a qualified nurse in PH, currently studying for her grade 7 (minimum) in the IELTS exam in order to potentially secure a job as a nurse here in the UK.

we are looking at jan/feb 2014 as the earliest dates for us to be together.

In the meantime, I plan on going out to her every 6 months, I am heading out to see her on 17. april for 2 weeks. cant wait :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:Good for the both of you:xxgrinning--00xx3: Good to see a lot of sense and sensibility applied here..just goes to show use men are not all one track minded :biggrin:

[RickyR]

My wife and I have definitely done our fair share of time apart because of my job. I have been in Singapore for the last two months whilst my wife is at home in Muscat, although I have just nipped back for 48 hours as my son was ill but currently in Colombo Airport Lounge on the way back to work.

It takes commitment and communication to handle being away, and gets harder (not easier) over time, so I try to spend as little time away as possible now.

Viber, whatsapp, skype, email etc all make life much more tolerable. Occasionally for various reasons I have to go on a communication blackout for short periods and that really is more difficult then you would think

If you have found the right person, you will overcome all obstacles together.