Please help me on what to do....

[jewel]

Me and my boyfriend for 5 months now are planning to meet but sadly he cannot come here in the Philippines first because he has a phobia in riding a plane. I learned that in order for me to go and visit him in UK, he must be first visit me here because one of the proof that you are in a relationship is pictures of the two of you. What is the best thing to do?

[tiger31]

If he cannot get on a airplane then I,m afraid your relationship will be doomed, as it is near impossible to get a visit visa unless you have proof that you have met in person although others maybe say this is incorrect. Are you sure he is genuine? Has he a Facebook account showing that he,s in a relationship with your name on his profile all these things will help to make sure that he is telling the truth that you are his girlfriend.

[fred]

I did have an idea for you but the direction map doesn't seem to load??

Driving directions from London, United Kingdom to Dasmarinas, Philippines
http://dateandtime.info/drivingdirections.php?id1=2643743&id2=1715430

[fred]

There are several ways to go from U.K to the Philippines overland.
All require some caution. Roads are poor in many areas and some are impassable in winter or in monsoon season. Various mountain and desert areas can be quite dangerous if appropriate care is not taken. So can some of the inhabitants. Most are friendly, curious and helpful, but the traveler needs some understanding of local customs and must take some care not to give offense.
If he loves you but really hates flying this is his best second option.

The best route is probably
Germany
Poland
Ukraine
Russia
Kazakhstan
China
Myanmar/Laos
Thailand
Ferry boat over to R.P and in the arms of the one he loves!!

Sent these details to him via Skype so that he can start planning and get his MOT before he sets off.

[tiger31]

There are several ways to go from U.K to the Philippines overland.
All require some caution. Roads are poor in many areas and some are impassable in winter or in monsoon season. Various mountain and desert areas can be quite dangerous if appropriate care is not taken. So can some of the inhabitants. Most are friendly, curious and helpful, but the traveler needs some understanding of local customs and must take some care not to give offense.
If he loves you but really hates flying this is his best second option.

The best route is probably
Germany
Poland
Ukraine
Russia
Kazakhstan
China
Myanmar/Laos
Thailand
Ferry boat over to R.P and in the arms of the one he loves!!

Sent these details to him via Skype so that he can start planning and get his MOT before he sets off.

his car will be wrecked by the time he makes it thats if he gets past all the banditos :biggrin:

[fred]

his car will be wrecked by the time he makes it thats if he gets past all the banditos :biggrin:

:wink:

I saw a Jeepney in the UK once.. The owner said he put it in a container to Thailand and then drove it back!! Here`s a pic of the jeep that he did it in.. He often takes it to the Filipino fiesta`s..
I bet he could tell a few interesting stories of that trip!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/164/1454/640/MKFest4.jpg

[tiger31]

:wink:

I saw a Jeepney in the UK once.. The owner said he put it in a container to Thailand and then drove it back!! Here`s a pic of the jeep that he did it in.. He often takes it to the Filipino fiesta`s..
I bet he could tell a few interesting stories of that trip!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/164/1454/640/MKFest4.jpg

i,m surprised he made it in one piece lol

[Jentobeharrison]

:wink:

I saw a Jeepney in the UK once.. The owner said he put it in a container to Thailand and then drove it back!! Here`s a pic of the jeep that he did it in.. He often takes it to the Filipino fiesta`s..
I bet he could tell a few interesting stories of that trip!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/164/1454/640/MKFest4.jpg
Wow I am so amazed! Do you have the link of the blog? I would love to read it. Now I am currently looking at the world map to see the possiblities lol.


To jewel, I know I have no right to judge but I am wondering how could your boyfriend think of having a relationship with someone living in overseas if he knows that he cannot ride a plane? That's quite strange tho, especially if he signed up in online dating site. The best thing to do is if he cannot do Fred's suggestion, and he really wants to meet you, he can seek for some professional help to conquer his phobia.

[fred]

Wow I am so amazed! Do you have the link of the blog? I would love to read it. Now I am currently looking at the world map to see the possiblities lol.

I cant find anything on the internet about him..just a picture of his jeep at the Milton Keynes fiesta..He did tell me the route but Ive forgotten.. He said most of his breakdowns were in Russia but he got loads of free assistance.. People knew where it was from but couldn't believe what they were seeing!!
The guy is quite approachable and probably still drives it to some of the UK fiesta`s... Interesting guy!

My suggestion was tongue in cheek BTW!!
What about a cruise liner?

[grahamw48]

O.P.

Hard as it may be, unless this gentleman can get on a plane, I'd advise you to move on and find somebody new.

A 'normal' Fil/Brit relationship involves a lot of air travel ! :airline:

This guy also sounds pretty suspicious (and pathetic) to me. :Erm:

[Terpe]

Me and my boyfriend for 5 months now are planning to meet but sadly he cannot come here in the Philippines first because he has a phobia in riding a plane. I learned that in order for me to go and visit him in UK, he must be first visit me here because one of the proof that you are in a relationship is pictures of the two of you. What is the best thing to do?

Solely in technically terms there is no requirement to have him visit first.
From what you've declared here I'd be cautious about divulging a serious romantic relationship as the ECO may believe your intentions to return home are too weak.

As others have mentioned, on the relationship level there are enough 'red flags' to seriously question any romantic intent. Just an opinion

[mickcant]

If he knew he "could not" fly, why try to meet a Filipina living at home?

Most girls would want their family to meet her prospective spouse
before letting her travel to meet him.

It shows no true intentions for a girl if he can't get over a flying fear to meet her,

yet expect her to travel to him, even if he is paying the cost.

Mick.:NoNo:

[Michael Parnham]

Merchant ship, also quite cheap. Jewel, if it was me I would find a way to see you. Good luck and keep us posted. Also welcome to the forum! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Michael Parnham]

:wink:

I saw a Jeepney in the UK once.. The owner said he put it in a container to Thailand and then drove it back!! Here`s a pic of the jeep that he did it in.. He often takes it to the Filipino fiesta`s..
I bet he could tell a few interesting stories of that trip!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/164/1454/640/MKFest4.jpg

A number of years ago I met a guy who also drove his Jeepney to the UK, met him at a barrio fiesta at Romney Marsh, it was a very nice specimen! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[fred]

A number of years ago I met a guy who also drove his Jeepney to the UK, met him at a barrio fiesta at Romney Marsh, it was a very nice specimen!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Probably the same fella Michael..

[Doc Alan]

As others have said, it’s unfortunate, and hard to believe, that your boyfriend has a phobia about flying ( aerophobia ), which has appeared as a problem months after starting a long distance relationship.


There are many different types of irrational fears – phobias – which may seem very real to the people who have them. Aerophobia is not uncommon ( possibly 1/10 ), despite travel by air being relatively safe, and most are mild.


Of course there isn’t a realistic alternative to flying to and from the Philippines, especially if it’s likely to be more than one return trip.


Any genuine person who had aerophobia, but needed to fly, would attempt to help themselves by simple “ informal “ measures. These could include chatting to friends and relatives who fly without problems, as well as those who might have overcome similar fears in the past. None of us like the cost of travelling, the tiring inevitability of waiting at airports and train stations, change of routine, diet, and new time at the destination. Good general health, as always, is beneficial. Best also to avoid excessive caffeine / alcohol intake especially during flying. Timely preparation for the trip

(http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php/33885-Health-checklist-before-travel-to-Philippines?p=483097#post483097) helps avoid unnecessary “ panic attacks “.



Far fewer have serious untreatable aerophobia. Each member probably does know people who refuse to fly anywhere ( but not normally in long distance relationships ). Even then, if common sense measures haven’t worked, “ professional help “ may be indicated. There are various psychological measures, such as counselling, and “ cognitive behavioural therapy “ . These are really just more formal ways for people with phobias to talk about their problems ( with clinical psychologists or even psychiatrists ), if simpler remedies haven’t worked.



Doctors are normally reluctant to prescribe medications ( antidepressants, tranquillisers, and or “ beta-blockers “ ) to reduce anxiety resulting from phobias, as they all have side effects. However, they might be able to give helpful advice. Many people with phobias don’t need formal treatment.


Anyone who is serious about a long distance relationship ( which they may not have anticipated when it started ) should at least try to reduce a fear of flying to a manageable level. They may need to be reminded that if they don’t, such a relationship would fail.


http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Phobias/Pages/treatment.aspx

[stevewool]

why do people get involved with people they know they will never meet

[stevie c]

:wink:

I saw a Jeepney in the UK once.. The owner said he put it in a container to Thailand and then drove it back!! Here`s a pic of the jeep that he did it in.. He often takes it to the Filipino fiesta`s..
I bet he could tell a few interesting stories of that trip!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/164/1454/640/MKFest4.jpg

Fred would the owner & jeepney by any chance be located in sussex?

[stevie c]

Probably the same fella Micheal..

H know the fella been to the fiesta ar romney marsh his name is frank hmmmm his last name im sure is trotter no nothing to do with del boy lol

[stevie c]

Probably the same fella Michael..

I know the fella - been to the fiesta at Romney Marsh his name is Frank hmmmm his last name I'm sure is Trotter. No nothing to do with del boy lol

[jewel]

Thank you everyone for the responses. They are all appreciated. I will talk to him first then we'l see what will happen.

[RickyR]

I believe British Airways and a few other airlines do fear of flying seminars/events to help people overcome this, I remember watching one of those airline/airport tv programmes showing it.
I actually once caused a friend to become scared of flying, I took him up in a light aircraft (I hold a PPL) and he seemed fine, I didn't do anything unusual or rash, but once we landed he vowed never to set foot in an aircraft ever again... I still feel very bad about that.

[Doc Alan]

You should not feel so bad about taking your friend up in a light aircraft in an attempt to help overcome his fear of flying, Ricky :xxgrinning--00xx3: !


“ Desensitisation “ or exposure therapy, involving gradually increasing the time - and how - you’re exposed to a phobia, is well recognised and can be effective. Clearly it’s easier if the phobia is, say, to spiders, in which case the sufferer may start by looking at pictures and talking about their fear with sympathetic friends.


However, it’s true that British Airways do have a course, including a short flying trip, although it costs £ 275 ( http://www.britishairways.com/en-gb/information/special-assistance/flying-with-confidence ). Other airlines, like Virgin Atlantic, also have courses (http://www.flyingwithoutfear.co.uk/ ), costing £ 255, or £ 375 with a child. Easyjet charges £ 189 ( http://www.fearlessflyer.easyjet.com/?gclid=CN3bzers5rwCFdShtAodLzoAhw ).


As I don’t personally have a fear of flying, I can’t vouch for these courses. However, I’m sure most other airlines will offer help and advice (http://people.cathaypacific.com/people/en/questions/flight-attendants ).


The chance of a " cure " for aerophobia partly depends on how bad the phobia is ( most are mild ), how motivated an individual is, and how much they can afford, when considering flying.

[KeithD]

Statistically, many more people die driving to and from the airport, than those that actually fly.

Sailing to the Phil takes 4-6 weeks via container ship, and is a cheap way to travel.

[jewel]

Thank you very much for the links. Hope it will help.

[malditako]

i know someone who's got a phobia getting on a plane but that doesn't stop her from traveling. She goes to her GP and get tablet prescription to calm her down and it works well to her :)

[bigmac]

has this boyfriend ever flown?--no--? then he doesnt have a phobia of flying---he has a phobia of DYING--and--dont we all ?

just tell him not to be a total wuss---if he aint that brave--he aint worthy of you .

[Michael Parnham]

Very interesting comments from all!:Erm:

[bhem_bhem]

i have a phobia of flying but it didn't stop me from visiting my family coz i miss them so much,, i cry and i don't sleep the whole duration of my flight coz i am that scared.. it's horrible..

[stevewool]

i have a phobia of spending money and i cannot be cured either EMMA

[jewel]

Thank you very much!!! I'll keep you posted.

[jewel]

I'm impressed with your courage bhem_bhem. I hope my boyfriend can do the same. I've already talked to him about that and he is willing so its a good sign.

[Jentobeharrison]

Hey that's a good news!! I hope it will turn out well! And once he overcome it, you must be proud!

[Espie]

Oh dear! I hope your bf's alright. Probably a calming prescription will sort himself out? I wish you both the best though x

[malditako]

i have a phobia of spending money and i cannot be cured either EMMA

i am confident you already overcome that phobia now. lol