Pre-nups

[eddiek]

Since there is so much focus on the level of failed marriages out there, then let there be no surprise in the fact that everyone signs a pre-nup just to be 110% of their future.

I'm looking to getting married next year in the Phillipines, and I am just wondering what's involved in getting a prenup set up.

Like I've said, I love my gf truly, and she loves me the same way, but with the world making reference to a 50% divorce rate in a lot of developing world countries, how can you blame my simple mind from not thinking a prenup is important.

Thank you, and enjoy the weather

[chrisincebu]

Hi, thought about this on the build up to my own wedding, and although the missus was game to sign one we didn't bother in the end. I'm sure someone will reply with what you are looking for soon, but there is always the consideration of NOT having one.




but with the world making reference to a 50% divorce rate in a lot of developing world countries, how can you blame my simple mind from not thinking a prenup is important.

Thank you, and enjoy the weather

Why let the world around you determine what you do with your own plans....?

[joebloggs]

for me, if I was thinking of a pre nup, i might be having doubts about the person i was planning to marry, it's like making plans if the marriage 'failed' rather than concentrate on the years of married life ahead :wink:

50% divorce rate :NoNo: concentrate on the fact that 60% last 20yrs or more :wink:

married no rep nup, it will be 12yrs in nov :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[chrisincebu]

for me, if I was thinking of a pre nup, i might be having doubts about the person i was planning to marry, it's like making plans if the marriage 'failed' rather than concentrate on the years of married life ahead

Agreed, sir.

[joebloggs]

i wouldn't know how to even mention the idea of a pre nup to the misses, she might have thought, i thinking she was a money grabber :xxparty-smiley-004: and i would get a :cwm3::furious3::cwm23: off her :xxparty-smiley-004:

but each to their own, but i wonder if more or less marriages end in divorce if they had signed a pre nup :cwm25:

[raynaputi]

Well, Keith and I aren't millionaires..so no pre-nup for us coz it's not worth it! :icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

Well, Keith and I aren't millionaires..so no pre-nup for us coz it's not worth it! :icon_lol:

:xxgrinning--00xx3: anyway the misses earns more than me now and wears the trousers :cwm24:

[gWaPito]

Pre nups for the likes of us normal folks in the UK are worthless. ..so said my solicitor of 2007. Not worth the paper they are written on.
The only agreement you could hope for is a 'gentleman's' agreement. We all know there's no such thing when the gloves come off :NoNo:

[gWaPito]

:xxgrinning--00xx3: anyway the misses earns more than me now and wears the trousers :cwm24:

I gathered that years ago Joe :xxgrinning--00xx3:. You picked a good one there :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

Pre nups for the likes of us normal folks in the UK are worthless. ..so said my solicitor of 2007. Not worth the paper they are written on.
The only agreement you could hope for is a 'gentleman's' agreement. We all know there's no such thing when the gloves come off :NoNo:

That is my understanding also.

Worthless...as they are in most countries.

If you have to worry about such matters, and are less than a millionaire...stay single.

[gWaPito]

Eddie's saving grace is the 5 year wait for her ILR. She won't get anything until she is no longer a guest.

Then you have another option, you are not obliged to get the ILR, you could always get her another temporary visa.

What's the cost of that, around 400 quid, divided by 2 that's about the annual cost of the average house insurance.

I think it's good value. ..peace of mind for a further couple of years. By that time if there are any gremlins, they should of surfaced by then.

Just a thought :biggrin:

[grahamw48]

As you know yourself Mark, it's much more complicated both emotionally and practically once there are children.

Perhaps the OP should also bear this in mind.
It is a lot easier to 'safely' write a wife or girlfriend out of your life than it is to do the same with your child.

[bigmac]

pre nups all rather depend on what each person is bringing in to the marriage. for instance--if the man has a home--business--savings--good salary etc--and the woman has whats in her suitcase--then a the guy would be nuts not to insist on a prenup--whether its worth anything in UK law--or not.

then--if the wife-to-be kicks off and screams blue murder about lack of trust and all that cr4p---it paints a picture of just how genuine her " love" really is.

[marksroomspain]

Since there is so much focus on the level of failed marriages out there, then let there be no surprise in the fact that everyone signs a pre-nup just to be 110% of their future.

I'm looking to getting married next year in the Phillipines, and I am just wondering what's involved in getting a prenup set up.

Like I've said, I love my gf truly, and she loves me the same way, but with the world making reference to a 50% divorce rate in a lot of developing world countries, how can you blame my simple mind from not thinking a prenup is important.

Thank you, and enjoy the weather

Hiya eddiek,

After agree with the other guys, basically prenups are not worth the paper there are written on.

Stastistics as I have posted before from the US Census Bureau put as follows:

Western/Western marriage divorce rate 57%

Western/Foreign marriage divorce rate 20%

So take it from there, I know some of the forum members have been divorced from there foreign partners but you have to ask yourself like Joe has put about having a prenup might constitute to doubts about the person you plan to marry.

Food for thought...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[tiger31]

prenups are worthless if you buy property or land in the philippines as it all goes in the girls name try getting her to sell if you split lol The extended family will make sure you don,t get a piso .If your even thinking of a prenup you should,nt bother getting married in my opinion.

[joebloggs]

Hiya eddiek,

After agree with the other guys, basically prenups are not worth the paper there are written on.

Stastistics as I have posted before from the US Census Bureau put as follows:

Western/Western marriage divorce rate 57%

Western/Foreign marriage divorce rate 20%

So take it from there, I know some of the forum members have been divorced from there foreign partners but you have to ask yourself like Joe has put about having a prenup might constitute to doubts about the person you plan to marry.

Food for thought...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

divorce rates in England and Wales.




34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding anniversary.

6% of marriages are expected to end in the death of one partner by the 20th wedding anniversary.

Therefore 60% of marriages are expected to survive to the 20th anniversary.

The average marriage is expected to last for 32 years.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/divorces-in-england-and-wales/2012/stb-divorces-2012.html#tab-Proportion-of-marriages-ending-in-divorce


13 facts about divorce in the England and Wales.
http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/divorces-in-england-and-wales/2012/sty-13-facts.html

[stevewool]

dont bother unless you are a millionaire, you may have more in terms of money then your girl, but believe me what your girl will give you in love and kindness, you will end up owing her

[gWaPito]

As you know yourself Mark, it's much more complicated both emotionally and practically once there are children.

Yes Graham. ..if it weren't for my boys the coming divorce would be a piece of cake.

She's got me by the knackers and she knows it :NoNo:

[gWaPito]

pre nups all rather depend on what each person is bringing in to the marriage. for instance--if the man has a home--business--savings--good salary etc--and the woman has whats in her suitcase--then a the guy would be nuts not to insist on a prenup--whether its worth anything in UK law--or not.

then--if the wife-to-be kicks off and screams blue murder about lack of trust and all that cr4p---it paints a picture of just how genuine her " love" really is.
I expect the guy provided the suitcase and its contents to boot

[grahamw48]

dont bother unless you are a millionaire, you may have more in terms of money then your girl, but believe me what your girl will give you in love and kindness, you will end up owing her

Very true Steve...if you get a guddun. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

thats all we can hope for Graham a guddun, but it works both ways they hope to have a guddun too :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[timi]

Hi recent articles in times show much more likely a prenup will be recognised in uk.Especially if both take legal advice.
Personally having experienced and seen what people end up going through in separation I can understand why people want a'' life jacket'' in case of disaster. People insure cars and hope not to crash.....Maybe the lady who's happy to sign a prenup is making a statement, that she wants the guy forever, thats good news, and all that motivates her is the partner and their future. However I understand all the views expressed here. First hand I've seen what wonderful ladies filipina are, the partners of friends I met......

[gWaPito]

Pre-nups are not strictly enforceable or legally binding in the UK (England and Wales). Unlike a commercial contract you cannot sue on a pre-nup and there is always the possibility that if the marriage breaks down the court will not uphold the terms of the pre-nup. Pre-nups, post-nups and pre-civil registration agreements (they all work in the same way) cannot exclude the jurisdiction of the court to deal with financial issues on marriage breakdown, or the breakdown of a civil partnership.

http://www.prenups.uk.com/site/summary-of-the-current-law

[gWaPito]

Hi recent articles in times show much more likely a prenup will be recognised in uk.Especially if both take legal advice.
Personally having experienced and seen what people end up going through in separation I can understand why people want a'' life jacket'' in case of disaster. People insure cars and hope not to crash.....Maybe the lady who's happy to sign a prenup is making a statement, that she wants the guy forever, thats good news, and all that motivates her is the partner and their future. However I understand all the views expressed here. First hand I've seen what wonderful ladies filipina are, the partners of friends I met......

Good post Timi :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aprilmaejon]

for me, if I was thinking of a pre nup, i might be having doubts about the person i was planning to marry, it's like making plans if the marriage 'failed' rather than concentrate on the years of married life ahead :wink:

50% divorce rate :NoNo: concentrate on the fact that 60% last 20yrs or more :wink:

married no pre nup, it will be 12yrs in nov :xxgrinning--00xx3:


:xxgrinning--00xx3: joebloggs

[gWaPito]

married no rep nup, it will be 12yrs in nov :xxgrinning--00xx3:

You are still in the honeymoon period Joe :biggrin: You wait until you've been together 25+ years and the kids are all grown up and left :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

It was 12 years for me too....before the :censored: hit the fan. :cwm25:

[Michael Parnham]

I agree with both Graham & Steve, they have both got it right! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[FilipinaDiver]

We all have our different views with prenups, my husband is a divorcee (his ex of 20 years took half of his) and he told me he couldn't (literally) afford to be divorced again. His Mum is Irish and as you know they can be a bit sharp-tongued and she gave his ex a hard time and also is still now with the wife of his brother, no woman is good enough for her sons. His sister advised him to get a prenup to at least minimize the 'hammerings' that I might be encountering in the future from my mom-in-law. To be honest, I felt like they all thought I'm this Asian who's ready and hungry to take whatever I could, it felt really awful. I was ready to get my own solicitor and sign what I needed to sign but he didn't push the prenup. He felt its a bad omen for a marriage that he wants to keep and he wants to believe in. Equally, if all else fails including our relationship, my pride cannot take the money I didn't put my sweat and effort on. Also, I know that he won't just leave me with nothing and would still wish me good (like he does to his ex).

To answer your query eddiek, you must get your solicitor and your gf also needs her own solicitor, you both will have to list all your assets, savings etc and from there both of your solicitors will have to 'bargain' with the arrangements that are sensible to both parties.

[gWaPito]

Good post. You brought some good points. Firstly his wife of 20 years imagine put just as much effort into their marriage so really 50/50 is fair. I gave my wife 75% as I didn't want her working like a dog into her 70s.

Don't think it's 50/50 for everyone. It isn't. It goes by time together. ..whether there's children. ..what did the wife brought to the table if anything and what contributions she's made over the time spent living together as man and wife in the UK.
Some think it's easy to marry a British come over here divorce him and take half which morally isn't her's.
For a start, the time spent together as man and wife starts from when the wife get ILR :smile: for example for a Filipina who's been here 5 years They may get between 1 and 2% of his pension pot. That doesn't sound alot but if the pot is big which they generally are 1% of an average 250000 is a tidy some. Better than nothing. It's certainly well short of the 50/50 the 20 year wife got. ..rightly so.

As pointed out, pre nups are not legally binding. So as the law stands, it's a worthless exercise.

[Rosie1958]

Eddie, you don't have to be a millionaire to own a house or have a pension these days. If you have assets that you'd like to protect, I can understand why you wish to consider this option. If your partner/ fiancée genuinely loves you, she will understand :xxgrinning--00xx3: I'm sending you a PM.

[johncar54]

I understand that in the UK - provided a judge, in divorce/separation proceedings, says he/she has considered the Pre-Nup - he/she can choose to totally ignore it. So in effect it is worthless.

We live in Spain where, upon marriage, one keeps the assets which they have at that time and the other party can never claim against them.

We did do a pre-nup when we got married in Manila 8 years ago. I was not then aware of the law in Spain. I have now, in effect, transferred half of all I have to her.

[timi]

Thankyou all for great advice and good informative posts.

My Filipina gf and wife to be (I hope ) is cool on all of this but a prenup sends a signal to all around me - children friends etc. - and expresses an intention and understanding, but she's the most understanding person I've ever met. Thankyou all