What to do?

[blessed_ekim0826]

Hi guys. I would like to ask if there is anything I have to do before I fly back home as we unfortunately can't get married this year bec of my partner's family situation and we decided not to ask extension as we feel it could be summer or autumn 2015 before the situation improves to allow us to marry. We obviously would like to re apply for a visa again next year. Any advice please. Thanks

[joebloggs]

It's exceptional for UKBA to extend a fiancé(e) visa beyond 6 months. You have to have a legitimate reason for needing extension, such as illness, family emergency etc with documents to support it.

[blessed_ekim0826]

It's exceptional for UKBA to extend a fiancé(e) visa beyond 6 months. You have to have a legitimate reason for needing extension, such as illness, family emergency etc with documents to support it.

We not going to ask for an extension coz we dont know when the situations will allow us to get married.

[joebloggs]

I don't know what your situation is, but some people on here, family or no family it didn't stop them getting married. I hope things improve for you soon :wink:

[Michael Parnham]

I say, get married if you both feel you're ready! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Terpe]

....... Any advice please. Thanks

Unless marriage is no longer desired or legally possible get the ceremony itself done ASAP and secure the marriage certificate.

[KeithD]

You can marry quickly in a registry office, and then then have a big wedding blessing months down the line.

[blessed_ekim0826]

Unfortunately he changed his mind not to marry me yet bec of his son's situation. I'm flying back home on the 30th of this month.

[blessed_ekim0826]

I just wish that he got some friends that can chat and give him advices about what he has need to do as the immigration rules might change and or my next visa application would not be as good as it was bec of not getting married on a fiance visa. We are not living together and I can observe that he is not very keen now to marry me.

[SimonH]

Excuse me for being rude, but why would you want to come back to someone who doesn't want to live with you or marry you?

[Terpe]

I just wish that he got some friends that can chat and give him advices about what he has need to do as the immigration rules might change and or my next visa application would not be as good as it was bec of not getting married on a fiance visa. We are not living together and I can observe that he is not very keen now to marry me.

I'm very sorry to learn that.

It probably doesn't help but at least you're safe and have a way back home. Lots of folks I know got married before discovering the mess they got into.

Go back home, cut all ties with him and move your life forward with positivity.

Good luck and don't look back

Just my thinking

[blessed_ekim0826]

We both still love each other. He visits me here once or twice a week. The reasons why I not living with him coz he lives with his son who is injured when he was in the army and that's the reason why he is not going to marry me yet but I'm worried if it will affect my next visa application bec we did not get married on a fiance visa.

[KeithD]

My wife comes before my kids. Actually, a dog turd comes before my kids but that's another story :icon_lol:

[joebloggs]

We are not living together and I can observe that he is not very keen now to marry me.



Go back home, cut all ties with him and move your life forward with positivity.

Good luck and don't look back

Just my thinking

:xxgrinning--00xx3:


We both still love each other. He visits me here once or twice a week. The reasons why I not living with him coz he lives with his son who is injured when he was in the army and that's the reason why he is not going to marry me yet but im worried if it will affect my next visa application bec we not get married on a fiance visa.

Is his son in hospital ?

[Michael Parnham]

Wife comes before any family in my book! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[sars_notd_virus]

Unfortunately he changed his mind not to marry me yet bec of his son's situation. I'm flying back home on the 30th of this month.

how rude of him !!

[Terpe]

Wife comes before any family in my book! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Shouldn't really be pushed to make such a choice IMO
Although I do know some are......big mistake

I agree with your sentiments Michael :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[blessed_ekim0826]

:xxgrinning--00xx3:



Is his son in hospital ?

He lives with his son now in his house. He has to rent me a room 20 mins drive away from him bec his son is not comfortable living with a young guy under the same roof. I've not been to my partner's house yet - even to meet his kids - but I think they knew that their dad has a young partner.

[blessed_ekim0826]

His son has some changes after the accident. Lost sense of smell and his hearing is so sensitive now bec of the medication. Seizures sometimes happen to him.

[Terpe]

I know your partner had many reservations about both age difference and importantly the relationship.

Did any of those issue get resolved so far ?

I'm thinking in terms of his family and friends etc.

Who knows you and he are partners ?

You don't have to give answers here but at least just think about those issues.

[blessed_ekim0826]

I don't think the age gap problem is resolved now coz everytime we go out for food shopping he feels embarrassed still. None of his friends know of our relationship and he said that his kids know about us but they can't accept me to be a member of the family as I'm too young to be their dad's partner and they are thinking that I just look after with the visa.

[SimonH]

Blessed, I'm going to be blunt and to the point. Please don't take offence but think about what I'm about to say.

1. It's NOT the age gap that isn't resolved it's his sexuality.

2. His kids may know about you, but you're being kept hidden away. He's paying for you to stay somewhere else and sees you a few times a week.

3. Think about why he hasn't told his friends about you, it's not because of the age gap it's because he's scared to admit he's gay.

I wish you all the best, but please open your eyes and see what's really happening here :smile:

[blessed_ekim0826]

I thought of that but what should I do? I'm open to any advice!

[SimonH]

I thought of that but what should I do? I'm open to any advice!

Not sure I'm in a position to give advice here, but I think you already know the answer :Erm:

All I can say is that if I were in a similar situation then I'd give him an ultimatum. Either 'come out' and announce to the world that he is gay and you're his partner or he keeps his feelings repressed and he continues to lie to himself as well as others. If he chooses to keep it all a secret, then I'd have to make the hard decision to cut my losses and find someone who knows what they are.

At the end of the day the decision is yours and yours alone, good luck :xxgrinning--00xx3: