Graveyards

[stevewool]

Went to a funeral today. It was a burial, and it's been a very long time since I have been to one of those.

Yes, a sad time for all who were there.

But what got me, was the state of the graveyard. It's the biggest in Derby - with its own chapel - yet there were no toilets at all. Closed because of vandalism, and the gravestones, so many knocked down. They are knocked down because they may fall down and someone may claim. A sad place to be, it looked. After so long, no one goes to the graves here.

And the price you pay for the service? Well surely at that price there should be a service to look after and care for the plots too. Such a sad place!

[joebloggs]

and the gravestones, so many knocked down. They are knocked down because they may fall down and someone may claim. A sad place to be, it looked. After so long, no one goes to the graves here.

And the price you pay for the service? Well surely at that price there should be a service to look after and care for the plots too. Such a sad place!

I take our dog for a walk every morning in the cemetery near us, not many knocked down graves in this cemetery, there are a few, but then some are over 150 yrs+ old :olddude:.

They did tie a note on each grave, yes - each one :Cuckoo:, there must be a few 1,000, saying that the grave was leaning and not at 90 degrees :wink: and if you're the owner of the grave you should get it attended to, but months later all the notes were removed.

I think it comes down to tracing the owner of the plot. Many have died or they are not able to locate the person responsible for it. People should enter at their own risk

[Tawi2]

I love old churchyards, so much history. The grand old Duke of York's wife is buried in the small church on the High Street. There's also a skull-and-crossbones on one of the really old stones from the 1700's. Tommy Trinder and Rod Hull are buried not so far away.

[Arthur Little]

Strangely, it's estimated some 75 percent of funerals held in the United Kingdom nowadays are cremations. God knows *why ... :anerikke: ... apart from the [logical] argument that disposal of the dead in this manner provides an effective solution to the ever-increasing shortage of land - especially in large towns and cities - *so many living, breathing people in their right states of mind choose to undertake their final Earthly journey being rolled onto a conveyor belt into a furnace to be burnt to a crisp :devil-smiley-029: - it's almost as if they'd never existed. SCARY! :yikes:

Scary ... because when I think about it in depth (pun intended) there're at least still some remains of the bodies of ancestors who died hundreds of years back (and were buried) as opposed to nothing at all of my first wife, my parents and numerous other loved ones who were cremated.

:yeahthat:'s what I find altogether depressing!

Because, to me, the idea of being returned to the earth - from whence we came - seems far more natural.

Besides, I personally find cemeteries and/or churchyards infinitely more peaceful, restful places to "visit" than crematoria. :wink:

Simply my opinion!

[Tawi2]

Yup, when you're burnt and ground into ash its almost as if you never even existed :cwm25:

[Michael Parnham]

Cremation is cheaper, and when you die, you're dead and you're not going to go anywhere! :anerikke:

[stevewool]

Cremation is cheaper, and when you die, your dead and your not going to go anywhere!:anerikke:

You are wrong Michael, when I have gone Ems is going to have a lock of my hair in a charm, so that everywhere she goes I go too, ie , bag shopping, shoe shopping, eating out. Did I mention bag shopping?

[mickcant]

I would prefer to be buried, but cannot get a plot anywhere near my parents. So, as cremations are becoming the norm and burial space difficult and I have no wife to be buried with, I have pre-paid my funeral to be cremated and my ashes scattered at my parents grave.

After my elder brother died in 2012 I took over the grass cutting and cleaning of my parents grave and have some comfort that I will be at the same spot.

Mick. :olddude: :cwm25:

[Michael Parnham]

I would prefer to be buried, but cannot get a plot anywhere near my parents. So, as cremations are becoming the norm and burial space difficult and I have no wife to be buried with, I have pre-paid my funeral to be cremated and my ashes scattered at my parents grave.

After my elder brother died in 2012 I took over the grass cutting and cleaning of my parents grave and have some comfort that I will be at the same spot.

Mick. :olddude: :cwm25:

You know more than me Mick, I wouldn't know the first thing about funerals or what arrangements have to be made or who to see about anything to do with one's death, wouldn't know what cost would be or anything, we've no money for such a thing yet!:Erm:

[raynaputi]

Keith told me that when he dies, he wants to be buried. Although he's contemplating if I should chop his body into bits and pieces and then scatter it everywhere in Las Vegas! :cwm24::cwm25:

[mickcant]

You know more than me Mick, I wouldn't know the first thing about funerals or what arrangements have to be made or who to see about anything to do with one's death, wouldn't know what cost would be or anything, we've no money for such a thing yet!:Erm:

Average basic funeral costs around £3500.00 I think.
Mick.:Erm:

[Michael Parnham]

Average basic funeral cost around £3500.00 I think.
Mick.:Erm:

I think I'm going to need some help on this morbid subject some time in the future because we've no friends or family we can ask and Maritess will be lost as we've no idea who one should call for advice when the time comes!:Erm:

[Terpe]

I think I'm going to need some help on this morbid subject some time in the future because we've no friends or family we can ask and Maritess will be lost as we've no idea who one should call for advice when the time comes!:Erm:

Most people don't know Michael.
I certainly didn't know where to start when my mother passed away.

Fortunately Funeral Directors do know exactly what needs to be done and in my experience they handle every detail.
Those I used were extremely good.

Mick, you're about right with that £3500 for a simple no frills basic funeral.
My guess is you'd be hard pressed to find anyone giving cheaper.

[stevewool]

£4500 for a burial that include the hearse 1 car no vicar ,this is what has just been paid in derby

[Michael Parnham]

Average basic funeral costs around £3500.00 I think.
Mick.:Erm:

Thanks for that Mick, I overheard someone on the bus I use say it was the cheapest option!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Michael Parnham]

£4500 for a burial that include the hearse 1 car no vicar ,this is what has just been paid in derby

Worth knowing these things Steve, btw, not ready to go for many years yet, I'm wanting to put a plan in place to help Maritess!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[stevewool]

Could you take out some sort of insurance policy Michael to help towards the cost,

[stevewool]

Remember boys and girls DIY, it could be done all by yourself, then put you in the back garden then put a ornament over you like a bird bath, cheap as chips:biggrin:

[Michael Parnham]

Most people don't know Michael.
I certainly didn't know where to start when my mother passed away.

Fortunately Funeral Directors do know exactly what needs to be done and in my experience they handle every detail.
Those I used were extremely good.

Mick, you're about right with that £3500 for a simple no frills basic funeral.
My guess is you'd be hard pressed to find anyone giving cheaper.

Thanks Peter, what I'm looking for is to find out where Maritess can get help and emotional support. She's working in the NHS now, and I heard a whisper that they have a department that provides help and support to staff. Probably some of the NHS workers on this Forum could give me some answers! :Erm:

[Michael Parnham]

Could you take out some sort of insurance policy Michael to help towards the cost?

This is the reason I'm asking questions at the moment. I applied for a policy with Zurich in the event of my death and Zurich contacted my local surgery for proof of Medical records just to confirm what I put on their application form. Six months later - and after many phone calls to the surgery - I managed to get my surgery to Fax what was required to Zurich. The policy is an excellent one for £10,000 and it will give me peace of mind regarding finance, so I hope Zurich accept my application! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

My friend had one of those eco-friendly burials, where they bury you in a cardboard box on a special piece of land out in the countryside. About £800 I think....supplying own transport for the coffin.

His wife was a Filipina...cousin of my ex.

[Lancashirelad]

There can be a vast difference in the cost of funerals organised by different funeral directors. In can be several thousand pounds for the same level of funeral. It is worth ringing 3 different companies and enquiring about the prices, difficult to do at a time of loss, but if you're not rich it's worth doing.

[Terpe]

When I quit my job to look after my dad I re-kindled my interest in genealogy.
Spent a few years looking around graveyards and what a source of information they can be. Especially some of those old church graveyards.

It was a bit sad to see the state of some of these. The worst by far are the bigger cemetaries. Church ground graveyards tend to be a lot better although still get tombstones at a tilt.

[Michael Parnham]

My friend had one of those eco-friendly burials, where they bury you in a cardboard box on a special piece of land out in the countryside. About £800 I think....supplying own transport for the coffin.

His wife was a Filipina...cousin of my ex.

That sounds nice Graham!:xxgrinning--00xx3: