KeithD
8th February 2016, 19:34
One of the main downsides to the Philippines is that it is so far away. This means long travel times and high costs to get there. Getting a good deal is not easy, as airlines offer discounts at different times, and they do so at random times. Most flights cost around £500, although it is possible to get sub-£400 occasionally. Using comparison sites is a good idea, but remember that they do not list all of the airlines, so check on a number of sites. When booking, it is best to book direct with the airline, this takes out a problem with the middleman.
Always take into account the number of stopovers involved with a flight, and the waiting time during these periods. A £386 deal with China Southern may look like a bargain, but the 2 stopovers and 12 hours waiting times are likely to lead to an early death. There is nothing worse than landing in the Philippines to see a loved one when you look like a corpse that has just been dug up!
We flew with Etihad Airways, for one reason, they offered flights for around £500 when we had to book. However, due to arrangements in the Philippines, it meant little flexibility over the time, so we ended up with a stopover time of 3hrs going, and 5hrs coming back. I Only ever do 2.5hrs max. So it was annoying that the arrangements changed after we had booked, and we could have bought better flight times. Still, we had tickets for the world’s No.1 airline, so everything should be great.
What we often forget when flying somewhere is that it is usually the most expensive part of the trip, and therefore should be enjoyed. Alas, for many people, flying in coffin class is not the best start for a holiday. Cramped conditions, long queues for the toilet, smelly people, reclining chairs, bad food, and numerous other things can make a flight a memorable experience for the wrong reasons.
It has now been a week since we landed at Manchester, and that is ample time to let everything sink in about the flight there and back. So how good are Etihad Airways? Read on.
Etihad Airways has been voted the best airline for more than a year now, and sometimes I wonder who the hell is voting for these things. I certainly put the US airlines that I have travelled on ahead of all of the Arab airlines that I have used. Maybe I need to fly every day to get a decent overall picture of each airline, however, the majority of people only get a snapshot from one flight, and I imagine these are the ones who are voting, else the vote is worthless.
As normal when we fly, we arrive with plenty of time to spare, usually 2-3hrs. This ensures that we can get through security and relax a bit at the gate. People who arrive at the check-in with a few minutes to spare should be tasered, and made to wait for the next flight. As for the folk who have already checked-in, but fail to arrive at the gate, they should be nailed to the runway by their nipples. Any luggage belonging to them should be shared amongst those on the plane as a form of compensation.
All of the four planes we would use with Etihad Airways were Boeing 777’s. A really nice comfortable and spacious plane. Although comfort does depend on how many seats an airline squeezes on a plane, not being the size of Shrek means that most airlines are fine for myself and the wife. However, Etihad’s seats are more upright than other airlines I have used, and this meant I couldn’t get comfy due to my fused neck bones. Since I am in a very small minority of people with the condition, it is something I just have to put up with, so it is not a complaint against the airline, but whoever has my voodoo doll!
The seats also recline in a non-standard way, as the seat itself moves forward, as well as the back reclining. This gives less legroom when reclining. Not an issue unless you are lengthy basketball player, in which case, a safari park with the giraffe’s is probably a better place than an airplane.
Our flight was late evening, which meant sleeping on the 8hr flight to Abu Dhabi, or at least trying. When you have a skeleton which is about as bendy as a brick, sleeping is not easy. Still, I can still manage to dose on and off. The strange thing with airlines is that no matter when you take-off, they want to feed you 2hrs into the flight, even if that is 3am! Luckily, our flight was 7:30pm at Manchester, so eating at 9:30pm was fine.
Etihad are actually better when it comes to food, they offer 3 choices, not the usual chicken or beef, with one of them being a vegetarian option, something other airlines should consider doing, the other two; chicken or fish. The meal was fine, as I actually ate it, so the emergency supply of Hobnobs survived for another day. AS with Qatar though, it is very rare to see staff handing out drinks during the flight. On Singapore Airlines, drinks are offered every 30 mins. You can ask for a drink though, or get up and ask one of the flight crew.
I have mentioned this in the past, but why do airlines try and make the food seem posh, but usually end up ruining it. Not everyone wants tomato sauce with herbs, spices, and anal parts on their chicken, so kindly put the sauce in a little tub. I seem to spend every airline meal scrapping off some sticky smelly gunk.
The entertainment system is excellent though, although the live feeds did not work, so we missed the Liverpool match and Sky News. Also, the live cameras did not work on this flight. Each seat has a USB charging station, and an electric socket that accepts all kinds of plugs from around the world. Great idea. Strange that by the time myself and the wife had plugged everything in, the engines went quieter!!! A little worrying.
Arrival at Abu Dhabi was early, which was great, as it allowed us more time to sit around doing nothing. Moving from Terminal 1 to Terminal 3 is easy, but you do need to go through security again.
Getting around the airports, wherever in the world I am is easy for me, as I make use of the wheelchair assistance. KLM have proved to be the worst at this in the past. Qatar was not great, although it has probably improved with the new airport. Etihad take you to a specific place in T3, and leave you there until they take you to the gate just before boarding time. The problem with this area, and the one on the return leg in T1, is that the toilets are a long way away. Not very well thought out for those who can’t walk far or at all. Luckily, the staff were a great help, with nothing too much trouble. So, a kind of thumbs up for the disabled and elderly. Note to Etihad; Put these areas next to the toilets. There is nothing worse than hobbling so far to the toilet, that by the time you get there, you collapse with your face in the urinal, resembling a drunken Manc on a Friday night.
The flight from Abu Dhabi to the Philippines was similar to the first one, apart from I was tired due to limited sleep. The god news was that the front facing camera on the plane was working, so you could watch the take-off. Bloody wonderful, if a little strange. After that the cameras were useless as it was cloudy all the way, and dark when we landed.
One thing that was very annoying was that the seatbelt sign was on for most of the flight, even though it was only minor turbulence. When I got up for a pee, one of the air hostesses shot up and ordered me back to my seat. This happened to a lot of passengers, and in the end we had to either rebel or wet the seats. I know it is for our own safety, but not many people can hang on for hours on end. Maybe that is why they don’t offer drinks! We got permission to use the toilets off a higher ranked hostess, so the little Hitler had to put up with a mad rush for the loos.
As for NAIA, what a surprise that was. A massive change since our last visit. It now looks like a modern airport rather than the airport at Chernobyl. Which reminds me, Manchester airports Terminal 1 has been modernized as well, which is strange, as we have since learnt they are knocking it down. Coffee and snacks are now available at each gate, something missing in many airports around the world, but a great addition.
Our bags arrived, but it was not until we got to the hotel that we noticed a 6” crack in mine. That meant it would be going in the skip when I got home, but I repaired it with sticky tape. Claiming on the insurance is not an option for £50 luggage, but it is annoying. These problems are down to the airport, and not Etihad directly, although legally they are responsible. Nothing in the case was broken so I was not really bothered. Especially as 50% of what was in it was biscuits for the family.
The return flight was a different story. When we book a flight, we always book the seats there and then, always the two seats near the back. This is for convenience of not having to climb over someone, and to be close to the bogs. However, when we got on the plane from Manila to Abu Dhabi, we discovered they had changed our seats to the central area. Bloody annoying, as I had picked and paid for a window seat. As it was a full flight, there was nothing that could be done. When we checked the tickets of our next flight, they had also changed the seats to the central aisle.
As our take-off was midnight, I did not bother with the main food at 2am, but I did want the sandwich for breakfast. Strangely, Etihad’s definition of a sandwich is somewhat different from mine, in that it was not a sandwich. More of a pop tart with some kind of smelly goo in it. When squeezed, it reminded me of green diarrhea, something scousers often get after a curry, kebab, and ale night out.
So, on arrival in Abu Dhabi we went to the Transfer Desk to change the seats. Easy thing to do. Not for Etihad. You see, even though it was not a full flight, the girl at the desk said because I am disabled they moved us from the back of the plane to somewhere better. Better for who? Certainly not me and the wife. She also said that booking seats in advance was no guarantee of getting that seat. Which in the UK is misselling. The seats on the second flight definitely were not disabled friendly, halfway down the craft, in the central aisle, a long way from the toilets. Not very useful for someone whose crutches have to go into the storage are on the plane.
One other thing about the transfer desk, we got there at 6:10am, and no one was there. We found out that it was shift change, so during this no one is present? I am just glad the pilots do not work this way! It took over half an hour before someone showed up, plenty of time for other people to miss connecting flights. Sort it Etihad, an empty help desk is as useful as wiping haemorrhoids with sandpaper.
That fun killed some of the 5hrs we had to spend in the airport. Luckily, I could get my hands on coffee and a sandwich. Which was a good thing, as the food on the second flight was not nice. The ‘pop tart sandwich’ before we arrived in Manchester was no better than the other one, except this one smelt of the local cow shed. Why can’t airlines make a simple tuna sandwich? Even Stevie Wonder could have made something taste better if the only ingredients he had was dirt.
Getting out of Manchester is never a problem, and the immigration staff where in a good mood. A little worrying when we noticed a sniffer dog at customs, but obviously it was looking for drugs and not the 40+ cakes I had in my case.
One last thing, when I got home, there was more damage to my luggage. This was not spotted at the airport, as due to the NAIA bullet scandal, our luggage was taped, shrink wrapped, and then out in a stocking. Now that is bondage at the extreme! Somewhere between Manila and Manchester, the corner of the case had been hit by something similar to an axe. It would have taken a lot of force to do the damage that resulted. Even worse, when I opened the case, the impact had smashed open one of my coffee tins, so the granules were everywhere. So much for having the clothes washed prior to departure.
So, in conclusion, Etihad food is not great, there staff are a bit arrogant, with many looking as though they would rather be somewhere else. The elderly and disabled are left marooned away from the toilets, and in T1, in front of the aircon, which meant the helpers having to give out blankets. The double damage to the luggage was another downside, I’ve only ever had minor damage to one case in the past, and I have done a lot of flying. Do I recommend them? No. Are they the best airline? Certainly not from my experience. Would I use them again? Only if I had no other option. In fact, I will probably avoid all Arab airlines from now on.
Always take into account the number of stopovers involved with a flight, and the waiting time during these periods. A £386 deal with China Southern may look like a bargain, but the 2 stopovers and 12 hours waiting times are likely to lead to an early death. There is nothing worse than landing in the Philippines to see a loved one when you look like a corpse that has just been dug up!
We flew with Etihad Airways, for one reason, they offered flights for around £500 when we had to book. However, due to arrangements in the Philippines, it meant little flexibility over the time, so we ended up with a stopover time of 3hrs going, and 5hrs coming back. I Only ever do 2.5hrs max. So it was annoying that the arrangements changed after we had booked, and we could have bought better flight times. Still, we had tickets for the world’s No.1 airline, so everything should be great.
What we often forget when flying somewhere is that it is usually the most expensive part of the trip, and therefore should be enjoyed. Alas, for many people, flying in coffin class is not the best start for a holiday. Cramped conditions, long queues for the toilet, smelly people, reclining chairs, bad food, and numerous other things can make a flight a memorable experience for the wrong reasons.
It has now been a week since we landed at Manchester, and that is ample time to let everything sink in about the flight there and back. So how good are Etihad Airways? Read on.
Etihad Airways has been voted the best airline for more than a year now, and sometimes I wonder who the hell is voting for these things. I certainly put the US airlines that I have travelled on ahead of all of the Arab airlines that I have used. Maybe I need to fly every day to get a decent overall picture of each airline, however, the majority of people only get a snapshot from one flight, and I imagine these are the ones who are voting, else the vote is worthless.
As normal when we fly, we arrive with plenty of time to spare, usually 2-3hrs. This ensures that we can get through security and relax a bit at the gate. People who arrive at the check-in with a few minutes to spare should be tasered, and made to wait for the next flight. As for the folk who have already checked-in, but fail to arrive at the gate, they should be nailed to the runway by their nipples. Any luggage belonging to them should be shared amongst those on the plane as a form of compensation.
All of the four planes we would use with Etihad Airways were Boeing 777’s. A really nice comfortable and spacious plane. Although comfort does depend on how many seats an airline squeezes on a plane, not being the size of Shrek means that most airlines are fine for myself and the wife. However, Etihad’s seats are more upright than other airlines I have used, and this meant I couldn’t get comfy due to my fused neck bones. Since I am in a very small minority of people with the condition, it is something I just have to put up with, so it is not a complaint against the airline, but whoever has my voodoo doll!
The seats also recline in a non-standard way, as the seat itself moves forward, as well as the back reclining. This gives less legroom when reclining. Not an issue unless you are lengthy basketball player, in which case, a safari park with the giraffe’s is probably a better place than an airplane.
Our flight was late evening, which meant sleeping on the 8hr flight to Abu Dhabi, or at least trying. When you have a skeleton which is about as bendy as a brick, sleeping is not easy. Still, I can still manage to dose on and off. The strange thing with airlines is that no matter when you take-off, they want to feed you 2hrs into the flight, even if that is 3am! Luckily, our flight was 7:30pm at Manchester, so eating at 9:30pm was fine.
Etihad are actually better when it comes to food, they offer 3 choices, not the usual chicken or beef, with one of them being a vegetarian option, something other airlines should consider doing, the other two; chicken or fish. The meal was fine, as I actually ate it, so the emergency supply of Hobnobs survived for another day. AS with Qatar though, it is very rare to see staff handing out drinks during the flight. On Singapore Airlines, drinks are offered every 30 mins. You can ask for a drink though, or get up and ask one of the flight crew.
I have mentioned this in the past, but why do airlines try and make the food seem posh, but usually end up ruining it. Not everyone wants tomato sauce with herbs, spices, and anal parts on their chicken, so kindly put the sauce in a little tub. I seem to spend every airline meal scrapping off some sticky smelly gunk.
The entertainment system is excellent though, although the live feeds did not work, so we missed the Liverpool match and Sky News. Also, the live cameras did not work on this flight. Each seat has a USB charging station, and an electric socket that accepts all kinds of plugs from around the world. Great idea. Strange that by the time myself and the wife had plugged everything in, the engines went quieter!!! A little worrying.
Arrival at Abu Dhabi was early, which was great, as it allowed us more time to sit around doing nothing. Moving from Terminal 1 to Terminal 3 is easy, but you do need to go through security again.
Getting around the airports, wherever in the world I am is easy for me, as I make use of the wheelchair assistance. KLM have proved to be the worst at this in the past. Qatar was not great, although it has probably improved with the new airport. Etihad take you to a specific place in T3, and leave you there until they take you to the gate just before boarding time. The problem with this area, and the one on the return leg in T1, is that the toilets are a long way away. Not very well thought out for those who can’t walk far or at all. Luckily, the staff were a great help, with nothing too much trouble. So, a kind of thumbs up for the disabled and elderly. Note to Etihad; Put these areas next to the toilets. There is nothing worse than hobbling so far to the toilet, that by the time you get there, you collapse with your face in the urinal, resembling a drunken Manc on a Friday night.
The flight from Abu Dhabi to the Philippines was similar to the first one, apart from I was tired due to limited sleep. The god news was that the front facing camera on the plane was working, so you could watch the take-off. Bloody wonderful, if a little strange. After that the cameras were useless as it was cloudy all the way, and dark when we landed.
One thing that was very annoying was that the seatbelt sign was on for most of the flight, even though it was only minor turbulence. When I got up for a pee, one of the air hostesses shot up and ordered me back to my seat. This happened to a lot of passengers, and in the end we had to either rebel or wet the seats. I know it is for our own safety, but not many people can hang on for hours on end. Maybe that is why they don’t offer drinks! We got permission to use the toilets off a higher ranked hostess, so the little Hitler had to put up with a mad rush for the loos.
As for NAIA, what a surprise that was. A massive change since our last visit. It now looks like a modern airport rather than the airport at Chernobyl. Which reminds me, Manchester airports Terminal 1 has been modernized as well, which is strange, as we have since learnt they are knocking it down. Coffee and snacks are now available at each gate, something missing in many airports around the world, but a great addition.
Our bags arrived, but it was not until we got to the hotel that we noticed a 6” crack in mine. That meant it would be going in the skip when I got home, but I repaired it with sticky tape. Claiming on the insurance is not an option for £50 luggage, but it is annoying. These problems are down to the airport, and not Etihad directly, although legally they are responsible. Nothing in the case was broken so I was not really bothered. Especially as 50% of what was in it was biscuits for the family.
The return flight was a different story. When we book a flight, we always book the seats there and then, always the two seats near the back. This is for convenience of not having to climb over someone, and to be close to the bogs. However, when we got on the plane from Manila to Abu Dhabi, we discovered they had changed our seats to the central area. Bloody annoying, as I had picked and paid for a window seat. As it was a full flight, there was nothing that could be done. When we checked the tickets of our next flight, they had also changed the seats to the central aisle.
As our take-off was midnight, I did not bother with the main food at 2am, but I did want the sandwich for breakfast. Strangely, Etihad’s definition of a sandwich is somewhat different from mine, in that it was not a sandwich. More of a pop tart with some kind of smelly goo in it. When squeezed, it reminded me of green diarrhea, something scousers often get after a curry, kebab, and ale night out.
So, on arrival in Abu Dhabi we went to the Transfer Desk to change the seats. Easy thing to do. Not for Etihad. You see, even though it was not a full flight, the girl at the desk said because I am disabled they moved us from the back of the plane to somewhere better. Better for who? Certainly not me and the wife. She also said that booking seats in advance was no guarantee of getting that seat. Which in the UK is misselling. The seats on the second flight definitely were not disabled friendly, halfway down the craft, in the central aisle, a long way from the toilets. Not very useful for someone whose crutches have to go into the storage are on the plane.
One other thing about the transfer desk, we got there at 6:10am, and no one was there. We found out that it was shift change, so during this no one is present? I am just glad the pilots do not work this way! It took over half an hour before someone showed up, plenty of time for other people to miss connecting flights. Sort it Etihad, an empty help desk is as useful as wiping haemorrhoids with sandpaper.
That fun killed some of the 5hrs we had to spend in the airport. Luckily, I could get my hands on coffee and a sandwich. Which was a good thing, as the food on the second flight was not nice. The ‘pop tart sandwich’ before we arrived in Manchester was no better than the other one, except this one smelt of the local cow shed. Why can’t airlines make a simple tuna sandwich? Even Stevie Wonder could have made something taste better if the only ingredients he had was dirt.
Getting out of Manchester is never a problem, and the immigration staff where in a good mood. A little worrying when we noticed a sniffer dog at customs, but obviously it was looking for drugs and not the 40+ cakes I had in my case.
One last thing, when I got home, there was more damage to my luggage. This was not spotted at the airport, as due to the NAIA bullet scandal, our luggage was taped, shrink wrapped, and then out in a stocking. Now that is bondage at the extreme! Somewhere between Manila and Manchester, the corner of the case had been hit by something similar to an axe. It would have taken a lot of force to do the damage that resulted. Even worse, when I opened the case, the impact had smashed open one of my coffee tins, so the granules were everywhere. So much for having the clothes washed prior to departure.
So, in conclusion, Etihad food is not great, there staff are a bit arrogant, with many looking as though they would rather be somewhere else. The elderly and disabled are left marooned away from the toilets, and in T1, in front of the aircon, which meant the helpers having to give out blankets. The double damage to the luggage was another downside, I’ve only ever had minor damage to one case in the past, and I have done a lot of flying. Do I recommend them? No. Are they the best airline? Certainly not from my experience. Would I use them again? Only if I had no other option. In fact, I will probably avoid all Arab airlines from now on.