Filipino wife keeps threatening me with Divorce [Archive]

wizzywizard65

31st July 2016, 20:05

Steve.r

31st July 2016, 20:12

Hi all,

I need a little advice what to do, so stressed right now. I am a british guy married to a Filipina for 10 years.
My wife keeps threatening me with divorce every time we have the slightest disagreement. This has been happening since we got married so pretty close to 10 year... what should I do?

Gordy

Sorry to hear of your problems.

Divorce her....

If you are in a relationship that no longer works then isn't it better to get out of the situation? Been there done that. With limited information what else can be said.

Alternatively, maybe go and seek advice from Relate, if you think there is a way to resolve your problems, do you have children?

wizzywizard65

31st July 2016, 20:24

We don't have any children... most of the time our marriage is good.... she calms down after a lot of talking then we back to normal. Last time was because I fell asleep in the chair. I work nights and it was my day off and I fell asleep at around 6pm after I had been awake all day. She just seems to lose it. I think she has been like this even before we married... I guess love is blind.

Ako Si Jamie

31st July 2016, 20:44

Welcome to the forum.

I'm not being funny but if I got married to someone who said this to me not long after tying the knot I would be hearing alarm bells ringing straight away. How have you managed to put up with this nonsense for ten years? She sounds manipulative and immature.

I suppose the deal clincher is whether you still love her and want to be with her. I guess you don't but I could be wrong. If I am right, the answer is obvious.

stevewool

31st July 2016, 21:13

Hi there and welcome , well indeed love is blind, you are mnot the first and you are not going to be the last either,
Remember all we are hearing is from the one side here, but please dont take it the wrong way,
Could it be something she is not telling you about wanting a divorce ,
Talking is all you can do for now, but deep down you may know what to do also, after 10 years of marriage you must know each other well enough to know if there is something wrong , the truth sometimes is looking you in the face but being alone is what many fear,
The most important thing is what do you want out of this ,

grahamw48

31st July 2016, 21:18

This does not sound like a 'normal' loving relationship at all.

I think going to see 'Relate' is probably the best idea at this stage.

Michael Parnham

31st July 2016, 21:23

If she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!

stevewool

31st July 2016, 21:29

if she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!

what?????

Ako Si Jamie

31st July 2016, 21:37

If she's been saying it since you married just ignore it, and if she notices that when she say's it there's no impact, it should go away!

It's not acceptable behaviour though is it Michael? Especially if he OP has gone to all the trouble of bringing her over from the Phils. The last thing he needs to hear is threats over divorce whether she means it or not.

Michael Parnham

31st July 2016, 21:57

It's not acceptable behaviour though is it Michael? Especially if he OP has gone to all the trouble of bringing her over from the Phils. The last thing he needs to hear is threats over divorce whether she means it or not.

I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!

stevewool

31st July 2016, 22:00

Many of us folk on here have been through divorces already and some like it so much they go through it again and again,
We all have our reasons why it did not work but i bet we all agree that once it happened we all had a sense something was wrong many months or even years before the divorce.
So thats why we are here, we all moved on and many have made new lives and maybe for the better too,
I love my wife and i hope she loves me the same , but if there was a problem then who is kidding who, and if it cannot be sorted out proper between 2 adults then i am afraid you are both wasting your time , life is too short to bury your head in the sand all the time as we all know,

marksroomspain

31st July 2016, 22:04

Like what Jamie said "Do you love her!" if not the answers simple...

Tell her to sling her hook and you divorce her...:wink:

stevewool

31st July 2016, 22:07

I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!

Michael this is a open forum so everyone can see what is said , please be careful , once you have put pen to paper its there for all to see

marksroomspain

31st July 2016, 22:09

I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!

Your a strong man Michael but only you know your Missus better than anyone, personally I couldn't deal with the aggravation of it all and that's me personally...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

marksroomspain

31st July 2016, 22:11

Ako Si Jamie

31st July 2016, 23:01

I'm living with a lot worse Jamie have done since the first week we met that's why I call her Mrs Angry but there comes a time in your life when you have to accept the dog you know, also my wife and I have no family or friends in this country at all and in twenty years or so when I'm gone she has no one to help her sort anything out because she won't listen when I try to explain things to her, she'll be like a scared little girl. I will keep trying with her because she needs my help long term. That's why I said what I said to wizzywizard I'd swap his one problem for mine any day, it wouldn't be a problem to me it's just a small sentence and if you don't react to it end of argument. Sorry don't mean to offend anyone just my opinion!

Comparing the OP's problem to your own and what I know, I can fully understand where you're coming from now but saying that, the OP shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behaviour just as you shouldn't feel responsible for your wife after what's happened.

Steve.r

31st July 2016, 23:23

you shouldn't feel responsible for your wife after what's happened.
What's happened ?

Harry T

1st August 2016, 00:27

sorry to hear your issues wizzywizz,most marriages have to be worked at, none of us is perfect.

Its simple as others on here have already said, if you love her then obviously you accept the good with the bad. if you have fallen out of love with her, the i ask you why are you still with her ?, obviously you have only told us of certain of your circumstances without knowing the bigger picture its difficult to give you definative advice, No children involved so thats a blessing, but age, property all come into the decision making process, if there is no Love and it sounds doubteful from her side, then get out and start again the ocean is a big place :wink: good luck whatever you do..

fred

1st August 2016, 01:37

I think some are jumping the gun a bit here... My wife says sometimes that she wants to bloody kill me!! (this has been happening for 25 years or more!!!!)
What should I do..See a lawyer,the Police??
Too much missing detail in the O.P for me to make any further comment.

mickcant

1st August 2016, 06:41

From my experience with my ex wife who was a Pilipino, I felt things were wrong but she did not want a divorce to hang on to her visa, it was me who divorced her as she would not get help with me from relate, I went alone and saw there was no other option.

When she says it again, why not say "ok" and see if her reaction changers ?

I would prefer to be in a good married relationship, but being on your own is better than constant worrying if it will last.
Mick. :olddude:
Mick.

stevewool

1st August 2016, 07:16

I would prefer to be in a good married relationship, but being on your own is better than constant worrying if it will last.
Mick. :olddude:
Mick.

Wise words Mick, but too often falls on deaf ears ,maybe it's the being alone that scares people

Ako Si Jamie

1st August 2016, 08:31

What's happened ?

It wouldn't be right of me to say, Steve. It's Michael's decision should he wish to discuss it further. :smile:

Michael Parnham

1st August 2016, 08:43

Whatever you all think this is the unbelievable part, My wife and I love each other more than any of you can imagine:lovecouple:

stevewool

1st August 2016, 08:53

What's happened ?

We have left the EU, and we have a new PM too, what else do you want to know

stevewool

1st August 2016, 09:00

Steve.r

1st August 2016, 09:34

We have left the EU, and we have a new PM too, what else do you want to know
You can lose rep you know Steve :icon_lol:

Michael Parnham

1st August 2016, 10:30

Maybe in your eyes Michael, but what you have been telling everyone on here I don't call that love,
Name calling is just a form of bullying and it's not any good for you or who ever is on the receiving end of this .

If your referring to Mrs Angry, that's not name calling it's just her nickname because she can't help being angry, we laugh about it together:xxgrinning--00xx3:

stevewool

1st August 2016, 11:53

If your referring to Mrs Angry, that's not name calling it's just her nickname because she can't help being angry, we laugh about it together:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Sorry to say, you are kidding your self, that's if all you have said on here is true,

grahamw48

1st August 2016, 12:01

It could be worse... :cwm25:

A member here ? :Erm:

.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3717299/Hertfordshire-car-dealer-cleared-hitting-Filipina-lover-face-row.html

fred

1st August 2016, 12:08

It could be worse... :cwm25:

A member here ? :Erm:

.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3717299/Hertfordshire-car-dealer-cleared-hitting-Filipina-lover-face-row.html

Damn!! If he would have paid me 10,000 Quid for advice he could have saved 490,000!!
Think on!!

Ako Si Jamie

1st August 2016, 12:25

He claims to spend 50k per year on the former prostitute. She claims to have to beg for food......and her visa is running out.

I know who I would believe.

grahamw48

1st August 2016, 13:58

Damn!! If he would have paid me 10,000 Quid for advice he could have saved 490,000!!
Think on!!

Hahaha. :icon_lol:... (and as a car dealer you'd think he might have traded her in for a couple of 18 year-olds by now. :cwm25: )

Trefor

1st August 2016, 14:20

If the situation has not changed in years, and she's being saying the same things, and you've been accepting/ignoring them as said in a 'moment of anger' and forgiving her etc. then why post now? I suspect something has changed/got worse?

Personal opinion? Direct verbal action - she either stops it or packs her bags. Imagine this the other way round, with you saying these things and having similar 'anger attacks' towards her? 1. What kind of man would you be? and 2. Would you expect her to just accept it as its 'how you are'. No, I thought not, you would expect to be asked to sort yourself out...

bigmarco

1st August 2016, 15:09

I can remember putting up with this sort of ..... during my first marriage. It was mainly because of the 2 children that I played the game. When she finally done a bunk and left the kids with me not a single tear was shed.
This time round I said to myself no more children and no more biting my lip. Fortunately I appear to have married an Angel so no such problems.......yet :biggrin:

Steve.r

1st August 2016, 17:56

It appears the OP has divorced us too, he has not been back to explain anything since his second post....:doh

stevewool

1st August 2016, 18:13

It appears the OP has divorced us too, he has not been back to explain anything since his second post....:doh

Nothing as queue as folk they say :Cuckoo::Cuckoo:

raynaputi

1st August 2016, 19:51

I used to tell Keith that I would go back to the Philippines whenever we had bad arguments. Although he knows I'm not really serious coz I would've done it already if I was. :biggrin: He would just reply "Oh here we go again." whenever I said that, then he would say he would go to the Philippines instead and I stay here...hahahaha :icon_lol:

stevewool

1st August 2016, 20:02

I keep telling Ems that we should go to the Phils, but all she says i like it here, then i say well i shall go then and she says GO,
Thats when i say ok send me my maintenance each month and life will be good for us both, thats when she changes her mind quite quickly :biggrin:

Steve.r

1st August 2016, 20:07

Rayna, you know Keith wouldn't survive on the food there, unless he went to Mc D every day lol

raynaputi

1st August 2016, 20:11

Rayna, you know Keith wouldn't survive on the food there, unless he went to Mc D every day lol

Not McD...it's KFC. :xxgrinning--00xx3: I stopped going to KFC when I was still in the Philippines because he kept on taking me there for his meals! :crazy:

Steve.r

1st August 2016, 21:06

Not McD...it's KFC. :xxgrinning--00xx3: I stopped going to KFC when I was still in the Philippines because he kept on taking me there for his meals! :crazy: Aww, the old romantic :heartshape1:

stevewool

2nd August 2016, 11:39

Whatever you all think this is the unbelievable part, My wife and I love each other more than any of you can imagine:lovecouple:

Michael can I ask , have you a Facebook account, or have you ever use Facebook at all

Michael Parnham

2nd August 2016, 11:43

Michael can I ask , have you a Facebook account, or have you ever use Facebook at all

Used it years ago found it to complicated also not safe, took me two years to work out how to delete it!

Arthur Little

2nd August 2016, 11:45

Michael can I ask, have you a Facebook account, or have you ever used Facebook at all

:NoNo:, Steve ... he doesn't have - not now, anyway - I remember him saying so a few times, without being asked.

Arthur Little

2nd August 2016, 11:59

Used it years ago found it too complicated also not safe, took me two years to work out how to delete it!

:icon_sorry:, Michael ... :anerikke: ... based on what you had said on here in the past, I'd answered the question put to you before noticing you'd replied.

SimonH

2nd August 2016, 12:00

I remember years ago someone telling me that a KFC was like your first date.....

all you got at the end was a greasy box and a bone :Rasp:

grahamw48

2nd August 2016, 16:50

:omg: :icon_lol:

Steve.r

2nd August 2016, 18:46

I remember years ago someone telling me that a KFC was like your first date.....

all you got at the end was a greasy box and a bone :Rasp:Funny you say that. When I take my wife to KFC, she always asks for my bone so she can suck on them. She like a good bone. Never any waste in my house :Rasp:

stevewool

2nd August 2016, 19:42

Funny you say that. When I take my wife to KFC, she always asks for my bone so she can suck on them. She like a good bone. Never any waste in my house :Rasp:

Yep same here , i hate the bones so Emma will de-bone everything for me and i am happy and Emma is happy too,
Are we talking about the same thing here :biggrin:

grahamw48

2nd August 2016, 21:07

At present it's more a case of 'bone-idle' for me. :cwm3:

Steve.r

2nd August 2016, 21:35

I just wish I wasn't right now Graham, I need work.

stevewool

2nd August 2016, 21:50

I just wish I wasn't right now Graham, I need work.

Good luck in your search Steve

Steve.r

2nd August 2016, 21:59

Good luck in your search Steve
Thanks Steve (minus 1 rep) :icon_lol:

stevewool

2nd August 2016, 22:10

Thanks Steve (minus 1 rep) :icon_lol:

I shall own up to the kind person who gave me what i thought was mine :biggrin:

Arthur Little

2nd August 2016, 23:49

I shall own up to the kind person who gave me what i thought was mine :biggrin:

It was Mick Cant, Steve. And I'm sure he meant a rep for you BOTH when he gave you it. :xxgrinning--00xx3: