Looking for advice for a possible overly sensitive guy!

[DaveUK]

Firstly, I'd just like to say hi to everyone as this is my first post. I found this site last night and already feel I've learnt a few things.

I'm looking for your opinions on my current situation which is a very new thing to me. Unfortunately, to get your best informed decision will require me to explain the full situation. I apologise if this is a long post.

The background :- I went to Hong Kong with a couple of male friends back in December last year for a week. On our first night there in Central, we came across a bar where there were Filipino working girls in the back of the bar. We got chatting with a couple of them. One of which I hit it off with and eventually went back to the hotel. We chatted for about 3 or 4 hours before having "fun". When we talked, she offered to take me to Lantau island during the day. At the time, I thought nothing of it, and the following morning I paid and we said our goodbyes.

On Sunday night, myself and my friends went elsewhere in HK.

On Monday night, we went back into Central and eventually the same bar where I met the girl (Anna) from Saturday night. As we walked in, I admit I was looking for her. After 20 minutes she appeared and waved at me. I spoke to her and again, we eventually went back to the hotel. Again, we talked for about 4 or 5 hours. The conversation got pretty emotional at one point on both sides as we were talking about each others families and some of our pasts, and how she hated doing what she was doing. She couldn't believe she was telling me stuff so easily and I'd never been able to talk about things like that to anyone including strangers before. We slept together that night, but nothing happened. In the morning when I handed her the money, she got a bit upset and said she didn't want to take my money, but had to. I told her I understood.

On Tuesday, I went back to the bar to meet her and again later she came back to the hotel, where again we chatted for around 5 hours. Again, we slept in the same bed, but nothing happened. Due to the amount of talking we were doing, we went to bed around 9am and woke at around 3pm. When she left, I didn't give her any money and she didn't ask. In fact, apart from the initial first night I met her, she never asked me for any money, but I always knew I would be paying her. On Thursday morning I did give her the money for the last two nights, although she hadn't asked me for it.

The way things went on Tuesday was pretty much how the rest of the holiday went. She was basically with me 24 hours a day, bar a few hours in the afternoon when she would go home to get changed.

On my last night in HK she got upset and eventually she told me it was because she didn't want me to go and she really liked me. I told her I felt the same. Of course both of us wanted to know why each other hadn't said something. For me, it was because as much as I believed her that she didn't want to do what she was doing, I still felt she was being the way she was around me because I was paying her. For her, it was because I'd said on numerous occasions, "What happens in HK, stays in HK!" This led her to think that I was just going to forget about her once I left HK.

On the day I left Hong Kong, as we were saying goodbye, she gave me a little momento to take with me. We swapped mobile numbers (her Filipino one) and e-mail addresses.

For the first 2 weeks I was home after the holiday, Anna stayed in Hong Kong to work. I knew when I came back this was going to happen as we'd discussed it and I understood. However, every day for the 2 weeks we texted and spoke for 4 hours every night, pretty much during when she would be working. Some of the nights she was upset as she said she was missing me and getting stick from her friends for being unhappy and not working. Like I say, due to the time of day (HK time) we were talking, it was pretty much when she should have been working so I'm confident when she says she hadn't worked, she hadn't!

When we talked as well, there were a lot of things that happened in HK between us that became clearer. She's told me how she was looking out for me on the Sunday night with information about Lantau island and was disappointed when I didn't show. She was also disappointed when I didn't ask for her number after Saturday night. She also told me how on a couple of night we all went out to a few bars how proud she was to walk into places with me, especially the one where I'd originally met her. All her friends that night were surprised to see her as they hadn't seen her since Monday night as she'd been with me. They all thought she had gone back to the Philippines. Apparently, although some of the girls have local regular "customers", none have been with a guy for a whole week like me and Anna had.

Now, finally to where I'd like some advice. Again, apologies as I know this is a pretty long post!

Since Anna got back to the Philippines at the end of the year where she has 2 kids (9 and 2), we've only spoken a few times and then for no longer than half an hour. Her texts have dramatically dropped off as well, with some replies not coming back for a day or so. I appreciate the cost of international texts in the Philippines is ridiculous even by UK standards, so the lack of text messages I can understand and I learnt not to always get a reply. However, if I text her to say I'm going to call at some point, she asks me to text her first before calling because she's so busy! Other than looking after her kids, I have no idea what she's doing as I don't think she has a proper job. If I have called out of the blue, she doesn't always answer. I did have a bad week the other week where I didn't get any replies to text messages and couldn't raise her on the phone. In the end, after a week she text me to say she had been in a Jeepney accident the week before and had been in hospital in her home town with a broken shoulder and a fever. Her phone was in Manila at a cousins where the accident had originally happened and that's why she hadn't called or replied to my texts. Once she explained the missing week, I felt ok as I kind of believe her.

The problem is, it can go a day or so before I hear from her which drives me crazy. The last time I heard from her was the start of the week as she's trying to arrange a tourist visa to visit me for a week. I've agreed with her that if she sorted out the cost of the visa and booked her flights to HK, I would pay for her flights from HK to the UK. Again, she never asked me to do this, I offered. I'm booked on a flight to see her in the Philippines at the end of April where I'm going to meet her family, but we'd like to see each other sooner. Since Monday I've text her a couple of times and today I've tried phoning her 3 times with no answer. The phone just rings out! I've read on here and other places how Filipino's are pretty much attached to their phones. If it wasn't for the lack of communication since she got back to the Philippines, I'd be confident in our relationship.

Does anyone have any advice? Am I just being overly sensitive regarding the communication in this instance? I appreciate any feedback, especially if you've read everything above! :-)

[winner]

my advice my freind is stay away working bar girl no good for you she only tell you what see wonts you to hear how many man she tell nice stories to open your eyes you meet and had her first night how many more she had before you you say she has 2 kids is her husband looking after than while she works and sends money home if you like a filipina girl there are many looking for uk guys to love just join any flipina dating site think and think hard sorry for using hard words

[KeithD]

Bar Girls :yikes: Money players.......

Haven' read your post though, sitting in Phoenix airport, flight in 45 mins :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Read it when I get back, when Pete has posted :)

[mhynne]

sorry to hear about your problem dave.. we surely cannot really tell you what to do but if you were to ask our opinion i think we all have the same thing to tell you which is to trust your instinct... for me ive never seen anyone in the philippines who isnt attached to his or her phone... i think if she really loves you or wants to be with you for the rest of her life she would think of you as soon as she got into the accident.. try to reach you at any cost because she will not want you to worry about her... i dont think its also good that you always have to text her whenever you call and would not pick up if you just call out of the blue..
there are many women out there.. filipinas who are very educated who would take you im sure...
i think deep in your heart you know the answer to this... god bless

[jimcarie]

hi m8 intresting story, thanks for shareing it, you have had a couple of replys already, and it must be hard for you, but wat i say is ,only you can decide wat to do next your the one that spent time with this girl in hk, and have had that close contact its easy to fall for a beautifull fillipina like this , maybe shes true, maybe not , why not visit her there in the phillipines and see wat happens, tell her your feelings and watch the response, maybe she does have a husband back home, but this isnt always the case, these girls are sometimes driven to work in the bars of hk and other places, but this does not meen she isnt telling the truth, its sometimes the only way they can make money, wat have you got to lose? its better to find out the truth sooner rather than later,
i wish you goodluck in watever you decide to do and hope it works out for you , all the best :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[tomm]

i think deep in your heart you know the answer to this... god bless

That my friend is the kindest way of putting it.

When I read your story, I had to look at the date on the post. I read a tale just like this not so long ago... wish I could think where. :rolleyes: Sorry, the Hongkong part was like a cut and paste from that story.

Anyway, good luck. :)

[aromulus]

Distressing read.

Move on mate....

Too many red flags waving in front of your eyes, but you already realized that and don't want to do much about it.
By all means, go there, meet up. But treat it as a holiday with a difference.
Somehow I cannot see it working.
I hope I am wrong.

Good luck

[silver13]

It is difficult, I guess when you have so much conflicting information, firstly I think you will probably know that to a Filipina the family is generally the most important thing in thier life, the lack of financial welfare systems as in the UK force this cultural thing to happen or God forbid they would all die, the need to look after family is important and maybe some will do anything to help provide for the family even at the cost of thier own ability to lead a normal life, being a bar Girl maybe involves being a bit more friendly with customers than we ourselves would like and it is possible that deep down she does not really want to be in the situation she is in? or maybe she does not mind, only you would be able to find out There is plenty of information about men who have fell for bar girls, and usully the advice is to stay away, but again that is for you to decide!!! My concern is also with the fact your Filipina should have tried to contact you when havingthe accident in the Jeepney as MHYNNE says, ok it costs money but not that much to send a one of text saying do not worry speak to you soon, I hope Aromulus is wrong but sadly I think I would agree with him :-( Ok hope this helps

[DaveUK]

Thanks for all your input so far. I really do appreciate it.

Like I say, if it wasn't for what I've read about Filipino's being attached to their phones, and the limited contact I've had with her since she got home (I had a lot of contact when she was still in HK), I'd be confident in our relationship as a lot of things she's said to me either ring true, or are things that I feel if she was scamming me she'd never tell me!

As it stands at the minute, I'm now going to resist the urge to try and contact her again and wait until she gets in contact with me, see what she says and then ask her to find some time to make sure she is available for a couple of hours where she won't be interrupted. Then during the chat (if it happens!), I'll be asking her about the communication side of things.

Part of me wants to have it out with her now on the phone, but as it's so easy for things to blow up during a phone call no matter where you are in the world, and for one person to slam the phone down (this includes me), I'm inclined to try and hang on until I get to the Philippines and then at least if things go wrong in a discussion, it's not easy for either person to put a phone down. It will have to be dealt with as we'll be in the same room! Problem for me is, that's 3 months away!

Again, like I say, I appreciate the feedback. If it ever sounds like I'm not taking on board your comments, that won't be true. It's more a case of I'm just telling you what's running through my mind and to see what your opinion's are on it.

[Gie]

Hi Dave,

I am sorry to tell you this, but this girl of yours seems to be a bit dodgy... No matter how busy she is, if she really likes you, she will answer the phone. I've been calling to my sisters in the Philippines, twice a week! and my husband (my bf then) used to call me everyday! and no matter how busy I am I always answer the phone even just for 3 minutes! And all this accidents she's telling you, how come she didnt told you the first time it happened, I bet she's just making excuses. Anyway, if you gonna meet her again, do so but be very careful and goodluck!

[Mrs.JMajor]

well they (members) said it all....u never asked her though to reply you at all....but just to answer your call she cant answer it for some reason.i shouldnt say against to my same race but pitty if i will uplift her to you....(since u can feel the real score,just hard to accept it)
:NoNo:
Dave theres a nice one better than her (im sorry to say)
good luck finding another one

[DaveUK]

Again, thanks for your comments. It's appreciated! :-)

I did just try phoning her 20 minutes ago and she answered. She apologised for not replying to my text yesterday (I text asking if she was free for a call), and told me she has an interview for her tourist visa application on Monday. I told her I wanted to talk to her tomorrow as I wanted to discuss a few things with her (ie the lack of communication, etc). Couldn't really talk much more than that though as I'm in work and everyone around me was listening in! She also sounded like she was in an arcade with her kids as I could hear her youngest right by the phone!

Anyway, hopefully I'll be talking to her tomorrow!

[joebloggs]

good luck with her your tourist visa, there is a high rejection rate thou :NoNo:

i know if a bar girl is not working, she doesn't get paid, so how is she going to pay for her visa and flight ? :Erm:

when someone acts different, you know there is a problem, is she not texting you or answering the phone, it could be she telling you the real reason, or shes is avoiding you, the reason, who knows, keep asking her, until she finally tells you the real reason.. :cwm24:


good luck thou, this is not going to be an easy relationship for you.. but not impossible :rolleyes:

[kimmi]

I remember Mom always said this to me.."When in doubt, dont.."

Goodluck on u Dave..

[joebloggs]

I remember Mom always said this to me.."When in doubt, dont.."

Goodluck on u Dave..

since whenever did you or any filipina listen to their mom thou :doh

:D

i know my wife didn't :NoNo:

[DaveUK]

good luck with her your tourist visa, there is a high rejection rate thou :NoNo:

i know if a bar girl is not working, she doesn't get paid, so how is she going to pay for her visa and flight ? :Erm:

when someone acts different, you know there is a problem, is she not texting you or answering the phone, it could be she telling you the real reason, or shes is avoiding you, the reason, who knows, keep asking her, until she finally tells you the real reason.. :cwm24:


good luck thou, this is not going to be an easy relationship for you.. but not impossible :rolleyes:

Good question mate. I know how much I paid her while I was in HK and on that alone I know she could afford the visa and the flights and still have just over half the money left. She's also never tried to claim that she's not been a bar girl for very long. I know from conversations we've had she's been to HK a few times going back to the previous year, so I assume she has more money sitting in an account!

Like you say though, this isn't exactly going to be easy even if it does all work out! And again, like I've said earlier, apart from the lack of communication since she got home, she's told me quite a few things that I feel if she was scamming me she wouldn't say! But, just to be safe I'm still keeping my eyes open which is part of the reasons I joined the forum. Talking about it with you guys is helping me keep a bit of perspective on the whole thing! :-)

[joebloggs]

it's not been plane sailing for everyone on here, some have had a harder time than others, thats the way life is, many will take you to quit and forget about her, i can't answer that for you, but me and my g/f had problems and many people told me to forget about her, and maybe most would have, but at the end of the day i/we couldn't, for me we had gone too far and thru too much to walk away, and who would want to be with someone who would quit on you ? and now we've been married more than 5 happy years :xxgrinning--00xx3:

so i wish you well :rolleyes:

[DaveUK]

Cheers Joe. In a strange way, it's kind of nice to know other people have had issues and yet have come out the other side smiling! :-)

[DaveUK]

I've just got home after leaving my mobile at home and found a couple of messages from Anna.

She reckons that yesterday she had a big row with her Mum which from past conversations occurs occassionally, and she didn't want to talk to anyone which is why she didn't reply to my text or call me. Ok, I know we should be able to talk to each other about everything, but she's like me in that respect. I've done the same thing in the past, and have actually even done it since I've known her. I've been so used to not having anyone I feel I could talk to, that it didn't even occur to me at the time to speak to her about it! So, right now I have no reason to think she's lying in this instance!

[baboyako]

its called a tampo - use the search :cwm12:

[DaveUK]

Hah hah! I did, and I like it! :-)

[aromulus]

Hah hah! I did, and I like it! :-)

You ain't going to like it one bit, if that happens to you..................:NoNo:

[scott&ligaya]

Hi Dave,
firstly, you are right to have been cautious, secondly it may be that all is well and that you will have a great visit and successful relationship. I have just returned from several years living in Hong Kong and have witnessed both disasters and very deep and loving relationships result from bar girl/Gwailo encounters. One of my best mates there, met, fell in love with and married a bar girl, he is a barrister and despite his position makes no secret of her past and openly praises her courage in supporting her baby when the father abandoned her. We as a bunch of guys sat down one night and were discussing the "types" of girls on the bar scene there. There is the young very attractive but extremely hard professional to whom you are a walking ATM. They can cry at a moments notice and spin a yarn that would make Alistair Campbell look like a beginner. Then there is the older but wiser lady who will reel you in much more slowly so well you may not even notice. Then there are the girls who just come over for the one trip to make some money, hate the work, sometiimes just work as commission girls for the bars(ie get punters to buy inflated ladies drinks of which they get a cut) and then there the above but who get stuck in the money cycle and never quite get out of it because the money is so much better than she can get back home so they fall into full time working on the scene.

You may recognise the group your lady falls into and I hope it is the latter.

Just try not to be paranoid but do be careful, I hope it all goes well for you and if in the worst case you feel it is not working, try to stop on in the Phils for a bit and enjoy the many beautiful places and wonderful people there.

[Eljohno]

Experienced members will tell you to steer clear. Its obvious that you like this girl in a big way and already she has captured your heart but as the song says " I SEE TROUBLE AHEAD"

At the end of the day its up to you but there are already many red flags and i promise there are many filipinos in the Philippines that can have the same effect on you.

Just my 2 cents worth!!

[DaveUK]

Anne had her visa application interview on Monday. She was in there for an hour and half and is now waiting for a second interview.

Is it normal for someone requesting their first tourist visa to the UK (also given we've only known each other a couple months), for a second interview to be required?

[mavid]

Very interesting question... I'm waiting for someone to answer this too...

[vbkelly]

Anne had her visa application interview on Monday. She was in there for an hour and half and is now waiting for a second interview.

Is it normal for someone requesting their first tourist visa to the UK (also given we've only known each other a couple months), for a second interview to be required?

i don't know why have a second interview,mind before after my interview of tourist visa he told me already to come back 2pm that day of interview to get my passport with the visa

[gemini63]

hi dave,
i hvnt heard yet to be interviewed twice....i even got my visitors visa without interview..my first last year it takes 11 days after i sent my application to manila from davao..the second time i got it only 3 days,sent to me from manila to davao..same visitors visa all...no interview....

[kimmi]

since whenever did you or any filipina listen to their mom thou :doh

:D

i know my wife didn't :NoNo:

I always listen to my mom, she is like a bestfriend to me..because i believe mom's knows best..:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:



Is it normal for someone requesting their first tourist visa to the UK (also given we've only known each other a couple months), for a second interview to be required?

I havent had any idea about second interview because when I had my interview it is only once and the eco told me to come back in the afternoon and collect my visa and btw, my interview lasted only for 15minutes..

so any news about ur Anne's interview??

[Mrs.JMajor]

yes dave
we would love to hear any news from you and anna ? :confused:
2nd interview ??? :confused:

[KeithD]

If I listened to my mum, I'd be a Nun by now :NoNo:

[joebloggs]

If I listened to my mum, I'd be a Nun by now :NoNo:

i think she meant numskull

oh :xxparty-smiley-004:

[KeithD]

My mum used to say 'Grow up stupid!'.......so I did :Cuckoo:

[kimmi]

My mum used to say 'Grow up stupid!'.......so I did :Cuckoo:


:omg::omg::NoNo::NoNo::omg::Rasp::Rasp:ure really such a good son..:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[DaveUK]

Well, bit of an update for you all. Not quite what I was hoping, but I guess what I was expecting.

After my harping on about Anna not asking for any money, it finally happened! She wanted money to help pay towards the visa costs. I know a few people on here having been highlighting the red flags, so I decided this would be how I would decide for myself.

I decided to send her the money she requested with her agreeing to pay it back next month. If she paid me back the following month, then I know I can trust her. If she didn't, or she disappeared, then ok I've lost some money, but it is probably a lot less than it could of been in the long run!

Anyway, the day she got the money, I text her to check she had it ok and she confirmed. Since then I've heard nothing. That was last Tuesday.

I've just tried phoning her today and it goes straight to a system message saying something like "the number cannot be completed as dialled, please check the number and dial again". Unless anyone knows different, I'm thinking this means her number has been disconnected. But then again, it's a pay as you go SIM card, so I don't know if this message could mean something else!

Anyone got any ideas?

[baboyako]

"the number cannot be completed as dialled, please check the number and dial again".

I think that means she has no signal. the other message is "your phone is unattended or outside coverage area"

just retry after 30mins..

[DaveUK]

Ok, will do. I've had the "your phone is unattended" before which is why when I got the "number cannot be completed", I assumed the worst. I'll keep an open mind, but still won't be holding my breath just yet! :-)

Cheers

[Mrs.JMajor]

Ok, will do. I've had the "your phone is unattended" before which is why when I got the "number cannot be completed", I assumed the worst. I'll keep an open mind, but still won't be holding my breath just yet! :-)

Cheers

DAVE,
just pretend you gamble and you lost...ok as far as im living here in PI, my intention doesnt want to hurt you...but when i read that you send money i just said "oh no !"sorry bro...the meaning of that"number cant be completed in dial" difinitely the sim is not on the mobile for more than 48 hours...got it..
So you gamble ,you lost ! :NoNo: no intention to hurt your feelings but at least be aware on the situation you deal with
anyway its not the end of the world dave

[DaveUK]

I was beginning to think as much, but like I said, I knew this way I'd find out sooner rather than later!

Don't worry about hurting my feelings. It doesn't come anywhere to near as much as how much she has hurt me! :-)

[Mrs.JMajor]

keep in touch on the forum...ok ?? dont shy to post here on your situation w/ regards from anna....treat us as your family

[DaveUK]

I'll try my best. Pretty cut up at the minute, even though I knew this was a possibility!

I phoned Anna's friend earlier who asked me to phone back after half an hour because she was somewhere (it sounded busy). Tried phoning her back a couple of times and sent her a couple of texts, but I'm getting no response from the texts and no answer when I phone!

[kimmi]

I'll try my best. Pretty cut up at the minute, even though I knew this was a possibility!

I phoned Anna's friend earlier who asked me to phone back after half an hour because she was somewhere (it sounded busy). Tried phoning her back a couple of times and sent her a couple of texts, but I'm getting no response from the texts and no answer when I phone!


until now dave no text or call from Anna??for me if the phone says u cannot completed as dial or u cannot reach maybe the phone is turned off or switch off or no signal..

just try again and again and again but if ur fed up already and its been a couple of days already but u havent heard anything from her then for me thats the time u have to give up..:ARsurrender:

[DaveUK]

I'm cut up, but admittedly there is still a part of me still hoping she'll get in contact. The last time we went 8 days without contact (a few weeks ago), she claimed she'd been in hospital for the whole week after an accident. In the rush to get her to hospital, her phone ended up a few hours away from her! That time though, her phone was always switched on.

This time, especially after I've just sent her some money, with her phone appearing to be off, I can't help but assume the worst!

[kimmi]

well hope for the best and expect for the worst..

can u think of any idea on why her phone will be like that??dont tell me she'll be in the hospital again or she's not in the speaking mood???

[DaveUK]

I look back at past e-mails and conversations we've had, and it all seemed pretty genuine. I have an e-mail she sent me one night when she was upset saying how she didn't know if she could carry on the relationship given the distance between us, and how upset she got worrying about me meeting someone else back in the UK. That doesn't sound like coming from someone who is trying to scam me! If it was all a scam, I'd just expect everything to be great and her not be e-mailing me wondering if it will all work out!

But then I look at things now. I send her some money, then get no response from her for the week after, and now her phone appears to be switched off! I can't help but expext the worst now! :-(

[kimmi]

from the visa interview until now Dave u still no contact with Anne?

[Mrs.JMajor]

wow as i always carried away w/ every ones story here on the forum like story of sir al (for example) and the other filipina who stayed in london for 6 months and now its you...wanted to know the continuation of this dave....so as i said earlier "keep posting"
on the other side ..i can see you are very much like her(or should i say you love her already that much) coz you are trying to depend her side as telling us how great the way she wrote email for you :idea:
well its kinda take your own risk !:NoNo:
i didnt cheat men in my whole intire life...but as far as that kind of story is concern ...expert (joke) lol at least get some smile on my qoute :icon_lol:----------> .:icon_lol:

[DaveUK]

No contact! After she had the interview, we spoke about it for 10 minutes (I was in work). She said she was in there for an hour and a half and they asked her the usual stuff like how long she'd known me and stuff. I'd stated in my letter of invite to her that I would cover her financially when she visited the UK. She told me at the interview they asked her how was she so sure I would take care of her.

You see, that is something that makes me believe she did have the interview. If she was lying about the interview, then I wouldn't expect her to come up with a lie about them asking her about what I'd said in the letter of invite. I'd just expect her to say they asked her the usual like how long had we known each other, how did we meet. But then she reckons she needs another interview. As everybody I've spoken to online and offline has said, they've never heard of someone needing more than one interview, that makes me think again it was all a scam!

[kimmi]

oh no Dave I hate to say this but I guess it is really sort of a scam but still give her the benefit of doubt lets say until tommorow..and if she's still didnt communicate or u still cant contact her after a week then its over..what do u think??still its ur decision..

on my experience, when I had an interview on my visa it is only once and I told right away my fiance whatever the result of it whether approve or denied because he has all the rights to know the result of it..

[Mrs.JMajor]

oh no Dave I hate to say this but I guess it is really sort of a scam but still give her the benefit of doubt lets say until tommorow..and if she's still didnt communicate or u still cant contact her after a week then its over..what do u think??still its ur decision..

on my experience, when I had an interview on my visa it is only once and I told right away my fiance whatever the result of it whether approve or denied..

your right kimmi,
she can pretend that theres 2nd interview just to have the money from him :doh ,gosh again dave sorry (my personal opinion)

[DaveUK]

Well, here's another little twist to the story!

When I couldn't get hold of Anna this morning and was getting the "redial the number" message which I haven't heard before, I fired off an e-mail to her mobile company telling them I was having a problem getting hold of her. They've just got back to me saying their database shows her mobile is currently roaming. As she's on pay as you go, she can't receive calls. I tested their explanation by phoning my pay as u go filipino mobile and I found I was getting the same voice message.

OK, that explains why I can't get hold of her by phone, and maybe she's text me today (my filipino mobile is at home at the minute so can't check it). But to be honest, that still doesn't put her in the clear!

The reason I lent her the money for the visa was because she couldn't afford the whole thing herself. Yet it now appears she can leave the country! Obviously the money I lent her must of paid for that, so I'm still under the assumption I've been scammed! If she's gone back to Hong Kong, she hasn't switched her HK mobile on, or she's now using a different number there!

[kimmi]

ok just wait until u can get hold of ur filipino mobile phone then u decide..

but with regards to ur explanation re the phone pay as u go so far i havent experience that voice message..Ive got a roaming phone and eventhough i dont have credits i can still receive calls..

ok benefit of the doubt, here we are..well maybe some of the friends here can explain better than me but that was only my humble opinion and to help u clarify things..

[joebloggs]

when my wife went for an interview, they didn't tell her straight away, they said they would let her know, but that was 3 years ago, and it took the embassy nearly 3 months to tell her, and thats only becuase i sent them a :angry: email...

to be honest, it doesn't look good, looks like she's definately avoiding you, and so is her friend, maybe you have been scammed, but usually a scammer would try to get as much out of you as they can, by telling you they need money for this and that.. if shes is not, then whats the reason shes avoiding you ? maybe shes got a b/f or husband, maybe it was a bit of fun for her, thats gone too far and guilt has got to her ? .. who knows.. maybe you will find out one day.. i know how you feel thou, i've been there.. :NoNo:

for now try and take it easy, i'm sure she will contact you again, and when she does. keep asking her whats wrong, if she doesn't tell you, keep asking til she cracks :cwm24:... then you will know the truth..

good luck. :rolleyes:

[DaveUK]

Kimmi, I do appreciate all your comments :-) I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to hear them, good or bad! :-)

[DaveUK]

Cheers Joe for your comments. Much appreciated mate.

[kimmi]

ok thanks..just make sure u check ur phone at home first so u will know if she send u a message there..and let us know..

goodluck..

[Mrs.JMajor]

hmmm seems u didnt appreciate my reply to you hehehe coz u just mentioned kimmi and joes comments,well sorry if im straight forward...

this would be my last reply to your story...GOOD LUCK

[DaveUK]

Not at all jedc143. I definitely do appreciate your comments and more so the fact you are straight forward with me. Please accept my apologies for missing you out, and please do keep posting.

I promise I won't forget you again! :-)

[tomm]

Well, bit of an update for you all. Not quite what I was hoping, but I guess what I was expecting.

After my harping on about Anna not asking for any money, it finally happened! She wanted money to help pay towards the visa costs. I know a few people on here having been highlighting the red flags, so I decided this would be how I would decide for myself.

Curious :Erm: What sort of visa was she applying for? Perhaps you should study the visa requirements and see how she matched up. There are lots of visa related threads on here... read and consider how serious was your girl about a visa. Can't help thinking how money is an important visa requirement... and your girl had to borrow the fee :NoNo:

[DaveUK]

It was for a tourist visa and she claimed she was using an agency to help her with the visa! There were various reasons why she "had" to use the agency. I couldn't really argue with her as, like she kept telling me, things are done differently in the philippines!

[KeithD]

Agencies rip-off Filipino's all the time, and no need for them when it comes to visa's.

For every Filipina that scams, you have 1000 beautiful women who will love you for who you are.

If this doesn't work out, you'll have learnt from it, and like gambling, mistakes cost money......I know :angry::angry:

[DaveUK]

Well, I've just got home and found no txt's on my filipino mobile! I've just text her asking her to let me know she's ok, just to see what happens. But as I've said before, I'm not holding my breath!

[LadyJ]

You can check If the agencies are genuine to POEA.gov.ph

[DaveUK]

I already checked the agency out cheers. Admittedly I only did that after I'd sent her the money, but they have a website and have a license to operate according to the government website.

When I sent the money via Western Union, Anna asked me to put it to the attention of another person. She claimed it was the name of the agent at the agency who the money was for. I was thinking of phoning the ageny when they open tomorrow to ask for this woman to see if she exists.

[tomm]

Agencies rip-off Filipino's all the time, and no need for them when it comes to visa's.

For every Filipina that scams, you have 1000 beautiful women who will love you for who you are.

If this doesn't work out, you'll have learnt from it, and like gambling, mistakes cost money......I know :angry::angry:

Very wise words from the boss as usual. We've all been there and done it... and learned. :rolleyes: Take a look the Filipina posters on here and learn... there are some good girls (and one very special one.. winks @ jedc143)

[DaveUK]

I know there are some good girls on here. Unfortunately though, if it does turn out I've been scammed, it's going to take me quite a while to get over her as I fell for her completely! Something I've never done with any woman, no matter where they are from! :-(

My flights however are already booked to the Philippines which is something that has annoyed me slightly. Right now, if things are over between me and Anna, I don't really feel like using the flights! However, thanks to this website, I'm hoping I might be able to make friends with someone (or some people) on here that I could maybe meet up if I do use the flights.

[KeithD]

Change the flight and spend a few days in HK or Singapore.

[DaveUK]

Can't change the flight unfortunately! It's a use it or lose it! I did originally try to change it for HK a while ago, but can't do it! :-(

[gemini63]

hello dave,
u said that when u check her no. it was on currently roaming..so its means shes out of the philippines...u cant really call cel on roaming but u can send text or she can recvd text msgs too..so if u sent msgs to that number im sure she reads it all.seems she really avoiding you...when is ur scheduled flight to the [philippines?

[DaveUK]

Yeah, I know she's receiving the texts so I know she's ignoring them which is frustrating, but I guess I'll have to accept!

I'm scheduled to arrive in the Philippines on April 27th, leaving on May 11th!

[tomm]

Yeah, I know she's receiving the texts so I know she's ignoring them which is frustrating, but I guess I'll have to accept!

I'm scheduled to arrive in the Philippines on April 27th, leaving on May 11th!

So you have time to join FH or FK and find another one. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gemini63]

hi dave,
where in the philippines u will go? from where in the phil is ur gf?

[DaveUK]

She says she is from the Tarlac province. But an address she gave me to post her something is in Rizal?

If I came to the Philippines without seeing her, I have no idea where I'd go!

[baboyako]

if you're sure she is working in HK again, just call the mamasan on the bar's land line. :rolleyes:

[gemini63]

give her within 15 more days,if she still dont get in touch with you better find another girl..shes not worth if ever...at least still early that u found her not a sincere one,charged it to experience. just be aware next time...

[DaveUK]

Aye, I will cheers. I'm going to see how it goes for now, but I'm working on the basis she's scammed me and I'm trying to move on. Just finding it extremely difficult! :-(

[KeithD]

Where exactly are you going? Plenty on here who could maybe chaperon you.

[gemini63]

if u want to go davao i can help someone to be ur chaperone there..a sincere one..who knows,maybe somebody there destined for you.lol...

[DaveUK]

lol Thanks for your offer. I may take you up on that if that's ok :-)

I'll see how it goes though over the next week or two and then make a decision. As much as I think Anna has gone, I don't want to be too hasty, just in case!

[gemini63]

lol Thanks for your offer. I may take you up on that if that's ok :-)

I'll see how it goes though over the next week or two and then make a decision. As much as I think Anna has gone, I don't want to be too hasty, just in case!

yeah,give her a little more chance,,,if ever she replies again try to analyse too if what she said is reasonable..goodluck,give update.lol....

[DaveUK]

Will do. And thanks again for the offer! :-)

[aromulus]

It was for a tourist visa and she claimed she was using an agency to help her with the visa! There were various reasons why she "had" to use the agency. I couldn't really argue with her as, like she kept telling me, things are done differently in the philippines!

I hate to say this but you have been scammed.
Sorry mate, but all the signs are there.:NoNo:
I sincerely hope to be wrong in assuming that, but I feel the worst has happened.

Time to move on, if she was bothered at all she would text you at least once every day, or be there when you try to phone.

It is impossible to change the flight you booked or have it refunded, so my suggestion is to go anyway, and treat it as a holiday somewhere out of the beaten track. It will dwarf tenerife or Ibiza....:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[DaveUK]

Hah hah! Cheers mate. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've been scammed as well. But I knew that was a possibility when I lent her the money, and was exactly why I did lend her the money now, so I would know either way.

If she does get back in contact with me soon and has some kind of explanation, I admit, I will roll with it, but only long enough so that I can meet up with her in the Philippines and have my say without giving her the chance to put a phone down on me!

[winner]

hi dave has i said in my first post to you its time to move on she is a scammer she might have a 100 men sending her money its a good business for her all the time you been piss assing around with this one you could have found a true one and be meeting her when you fly out there interview you get one if you stay with this one you will never trust her and a relationship is built on trust and you have none of that

[DaveUK]

I hear you mate. But one thing this whole thing has taught me is I'm not sure I could do another long distance relationship! I mean, I know Anna has messed me around, but when things appeared to be running great, not having her near me was a killer! I'm not sure I want to open myself up to something like that again, even if I knew the woman was genuine!

[winner]

all i can say mate she must have been a good screw you think whats in your head not whats in your trousers

[DaveUK]

Well, funnily enough, when I was with her, I liked her that much we only had sex once! So, I admit, she had a very easy deal with me! She got money out of me and didn't have to use her body to get it!

[tomm]

I hear you mate. But one thing this whole thing has taught me is I'm not sure I could do another long distance relationship! I mean, I know Anna has messed me around, but when things appeared to be running great, not having her near me was a killer! I'm not sure I want to open myself up to something like that again, even if I knew the woman was genuine!

So if we'd all jumped ship the minute we came across someone dishonest... most of us wouldn't be here now. Learn, move on.... you still have time to find a good one before your flight. ;)

[DaveUK]

Hah hah! I'm not saying no to a long distance relationship because I had a bad experience tomm, I'm just put off the idea a little as I never realised how difficult it can be when someone you want is so far away! :-)

But after saying that, I've spent the last hour looking around the fourm and the win2win dating site thinking about seeing if I could find someone online that I could become friends with (and possibly more). Then maybe I'd meet up with her if i visited the Philippines. Problem is, I haven't done that yet as I feel it would be a bit dishonest on my part to start looking for someone else when, in the back of my mind, I've still not fully let go of Anna yet!

[Les_lady888]

Dave, my opinion is why don't you come to the Phils. and meet her here? ...in that way most of the questions in your mind will be answered....just make sure you will be so observant and smart enough to determine what are the truth and lies. If you get to know where she lives here, her family and kids, friends, the hospitals she had been and the kind of life she is living here then I'm sure you can come up with a sound decision...mind over heart or heart over mind....it's all up to you.

But I really wish she's not scamming you. I feel so ashamed for a fellow filipina doing things to please a foreigner just for money and nothing more. I know you are still hopeful but I suggest you better try to control your feelings for her so you won't be blinded by her sweetness.

Goodluck Dave and I really wish you all the best!

[DaveUK]

Thanks Les_lady888, I appreciate it. Just have to see if she does get in contact! If not, as I'm starting to accept she won't, then I'm already looking passed that in the best positive way I can which should help me cope! :-)

[Les_lady888]

Just one question Dave, do you know her exact home address here in Phils? And I wonder too why would she asked you to send the money to another's name? If it was my bf sending me money for a visa application or for any other purpose, I wud rather claim the money myself and just show the receipts to my bf.

[DaveUK]

She gave me an address to send her something. When she gave me the address, she told me to put her name on the top as normal, but at the bottom of the address, she asked me to put it care of someone else. When I asked who the person was, Anna told me it was the owner of the place she lived in!

When I asked Anna about why I was putting the money in someone else's name, she told me it was the agents name and that the agent would be picking up the money with Anna!

[Mrs.JMajor]

wow ! u beat it ! u had 800+ viewers of your page,i just sleep and most of the members you got thier attention..hmm i wonder if u still can have 5th page..you are the front page or headline story...so goes to your problem no one told you that is LOVE...its SCAM..(like what i said on my first reply to you)...even boss share his concern to you ..

may you find the best one

[DaveUK]

hey Jedc143! I'm so glad you've posted again. Was worried I really had offended you before! Glad I haven't! :-)

I can't believe how many views I've had either, or the amount of posts from others. However, I'm definitely really happy about all the feedback as it's helped me a lot. So glad I found this site! :-)

[Les_lady888]

Dave, all I know about what are the necessary details for WU remittance to be claimed here are the control number and the beneficiary name......so a c/o name wont be necessary....in fact, if you just put Davao City or Tarlac City is already ok....but still I wud give her the benefit of the doubt.....You know her so well and Im sure there are things about her that you would rather not post her.....so only you can really tell what she is really to you and you to her.

Just be wise Dave.

[DaveUK]

I'm trying my best to be wise, but it doesn't stop it hurting unfortunately! :-(

[Les_lady888]

All I know is that you do what you think and what you feel will make you happy. It's your life. You decide on it. But don't close your ears and eyes too. Be cautious. Be wise. Don't let short-lived happiness abuse your whole life. Just make sure you are ready and strong to face whatever your decision leads you too. If you end hurt, then just take it as a learning experience to make you stronger and wiser. If you end happier, then that's really awesome for you...like a fairy tale :D ......but whatever it takes, it is better to be happy once than never been happy at all.

Goodluck Dave and God bless!

[DaveUK]

Thanks Les_lady888. Again, your comments are appreciated :-)

[tomm]

I'm trying my best to be wise, but it doesn't stop it hurting unfortunately! :-(

Not all the threads on here are happy stories, other's have been where you are now.... ladies too!! Read their stories. Hope it helps. Good luck mate :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[DaveUK]

Will do. Cheers. I'll still keep you all posted on what happens next in this ongoing saga, if anything else does happen! :-)

[kimmi]

Goodluck Dave just let me know wot happen or send me a PM..

[DaveUK]

Well, for all those people who highlighted the red flags, they are waving high at the top of the flagpole!

I phoned the agency Anna had allegedly used for her visa application. The agency had never heard of the agent that Anna claimed to be sorting things out with!

I then spoke to Anna's friend for an hour last night and learnt a few things. Anna has gone back to Hong Kong. She went on Sunday. I also learnt that yes she is married, although she wants to leave her husband as he doesnt have a job and that's why she has to work in Hong Kong.

Anna's friend also reckons that Anna does genuinely like me and was very upset when I left Hong Kong. But Anna is prone to the occassional lie apparently which is made apparent by the lie about why she needed money from me!

Anyway, I've txt Anna a couple of times (I know she is receiving txts on her Filipino number). The first one was to tell her I knew she'd lied about the money. I then sent her one a little later on saying that I knew she was in Hong Kong and I still loved her and didn't want to end this over money. Of course, I've had no replies.

Ok, I know she has scammed me and I'm a glutton for punishment. But in Anna I do see more to her from when we spent time together. Unfortunately though, as she isn't replying to me, this whole thing is destroying me because I can't even get any closure on the whole thing! Because I know she's in Hong Kong and therfore traceable, I'm itching to book a flight, just to fly out there to see her to at least get that closure! Of course, I won't be doing that as I'm not made of money, but that just makes it harder for me as I hate being stopped from doing things because of money, even though I know this is a fact of life!

Anyway, I'm going to try and leave it a couple of days, then I'm going to send her an e-mailing laying it all out. If she only replies to tell me yes it is over, then ok, I'll have to move on. If she doesn't reply, I'll just have to cope the best I can!

I'd like to thank all you guys for your comments. I've very grateful to those that were highlighting the red flags, but weren't too brutal about it! :-) And of course, I'd like to thank those of you that were as optimistic as I was, and I appear to continue to be! :-)

[eula mackay]

no offense dave, if she really needed the money, why lie? its not about the money, is it? its about integrity and honesty.

dont mean to be nasty, of course her friend would say she genuinely likes you. shes her mate after all! im not saying she does not like you full stop, but its obviously not enough as she can lie to you, eg about money and civil status.

if i am in your shoes i wont even bother. dont be upset, i am looking from outside and what i see inside is a recipe for disaster. emotional. physilogical. financial. psychological.

move on mate. there are loads of other women who deserves you, i dont think its anna.

[DaveUK]

Aye, true enough. It's a fair point, but I thnk I'm either too forgiving, too desperate, or more likely both! I do know the score, I think I'm just having a little trouble letting go! I'll get there in the end I'm sure! :-)

[KeithD]

Aye, true enough. It's a fair point, but I thnk I'm either too forgiving, too desperate, or more likely both! I do know the score, I think I'm just having a little trouble letting go! I'll get there in the end I'm sure! :-)

I uderstand desperate.....you only have to look at my ex :yikes: ......luckily I was pssst :icon_lol:

[IanB]

I've been offline for a while, so I haven't read all the replies so sorry if I repeat something. It is NOT NOT NOT true that all bar girls are a bad idea, very far from it as I know many people happily married to such ladies.


sorry to hear your experience has been so bad, though.

Ian

[DaveUK]

Cheers IanB. Shame mine wasn't one of them! Never mind though! :-)

[adam&chryss]

I feel for you mate I really do. You`ve done nothing wrong and she`s treated you terribly. There`s no excuse for ignoring someone that`s gone out of their way to help you but thats what she`s done. You sound like a good man and if you learn from this you`ll move on and meet someone worthy of your love. Of course words won`t help you at this time. It`s hard and you don`t what to do. I`ve been there too. Time is a great healer, stay true to yourself and everything will be fine. Just don`t expect it to be with her! When you find someone that truly loves and respects you then you`ll look back on this and know you`ve learnt something. It`s like a stepping stone to a better life. Now you know what to look out for you can move on in time and find someone special.
Chin up mate!
There`s always a light at the end of a dark tunnel

[DaveUK]

Cheers fella. Appreciate your comments.

[vbkelly]

Well, here's another little twist to the story!

When I couldn't get hold of Anna this morning and was getting the "redial the number" message which I haven't heard before, I fired off an e-mail to her mobile company telling them I was having a problem getting hold of her. They've just got back to me saying their database shows her mobile is currently roaming. As she's on pay as you go, she can't receive calls. I tested their explanation by phoning my pay as u go filipino mobile and I found I was getting the same voice message.

OK, that explains why I can't get hold of her by phone, and maybe she's text me today (my filipino mobile is at home at the minute so can't check it). But to be honest, that still doesn't put her in the clear!

The reason I lent her the money for the visa was because she couldn't afford the whole thing herself. Yet it now appears she can leave the country! Obviously the money I lent her must of paid for that, so I'm still under the assumption I've been scammed! If she's gone back to Hong Kong, she hasn't switched her HK mobile on, or she's now using a different number there!

hi dave why you don't check british embassy philippines if its true she had an interview that day just double check if she's telling you the truth

[DaveUK]

hi dave why you don't check british embassy philippines if its true she had an interview that day just double check if she's telling you the truth

I did think about that, but then thought that the Data Protection Act would probably kick in and they wouldn't tell me so I haven't bothered!

[DaveUK]

Well, thought I'd put the final chapter on this story! :-)

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

Ok, I know people highlighted the red flags, but I never realised someone could put on such an oscar winning performance! I'm very impressed, although very hurt! I must admit, as much as it hurts more now to know everything she said to me was a lie, in the long term i think it will make it easier to get over her as I was struggling to understand before why she had done what she had done to me if she loved me!

Ok, I admit, that last line about her loving me sounds stupid given she scammed me, but you weren't there listening to everything she was telling me!

It looks like she really never did have the visa interview as well as I found out from another woman we met in Hong Kong who has already applied for a visa in the past, that she told Anna everything that she would need to apply for a tourist visa including the documentation from me! This woman also told Anna how much her visa had cost (think it included agency fees), so Anna decided that would be the amount she would ask from me. Luckily for me because I'm only partially stupid, Anna only ended up getting half the money from me she originally wanted!

Just in case Anna tries to use my documentation to still get a tourist visa to the UK, I'm going to phone the British Embassy in the Philippines and warn them. Even if she hasn't, the day she does apply for a visa, hopefully it will raise a flag in the embassy and cause her problems!

[Les_lady888]

Sorry to hear bout that Dave ....but well, that experience will make you wiser tho and be extra cautious next time but don't overdo it. I once came across a yankee online who got scammed too and he was very upset that every pinay he talked to he treated as a scammer and in the chatroom, he was always rude to pinays....but then he changed his strategy and went on breaking every pinay's heart. A pinay friend from CDO was one was of his victims and I learned from her that this yankee was having numerous love affairs with lots of Asians all at the same time. But what pissed me off was that despite learning all this, my friend seemed blindly captivated by his charm that she always reasoned out that he was just badly hurt and scammed by a pinay the reason why he is philandering.....Can u believe that???:yikes: :doh Pinays can be very "tanga" :censored:when blindly in love. I guess most of us got through with that phase lol......so Dave, I hope you wont do the same as the yankee did. For every place in any country there will always be good and bad people. Scammers and cheaters are all over the world. Bad luck if you met them and blessings too coz u become wiser and a better person :) Goodluck Dave!

[aromulus]

Well, thought I'd put the final chapter on this story! :-)

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

Ok, I know people highlighted the red flags, but I never realised someone could put on such an oscar winning performance! I'm very impressed, although very hurt! I must admit, as much as it hurts more now to know everything she said to me was a lie, in the long term i think it will make it easier to get over her as I was struggling to understand before why she had done what she had done to me if she loved me!

Ok, I admit, that last line about her loving me sounds stupid given she scammed me, but you weren't there listening to everything she was telling me!

It looks like she really never did have the visa interview as well as I found out from another woman we met in Hong Kong who has already applied for a visa in the past, that she told Anna everything that she would need to apply for a tourist visa including the documentation from me! This woman also told Anna how much her visa had cost (think it included agency fees), so Anna decided that would be the amount she would ask from me. Luckily for me because I'm only partially stupid, Anna only ended up getting half the money from me she originally wanted!

Just in case Anna tries to use my documentation to still get a tourist visa to the UK, I'm going to phone the British Embassy in the Philippines and warn them. Even if she hasn't, the day she does apply for a visa, hopefully it will raise a flag in the embassy and cause her problems!

I am sorry that my worst fears have been proved correct, I sincerely hoped to have been wrong.

Lots of fish in the sea.....:rolleyes:

Sooner or later you will find the right person for you, don't worry...:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Rather than worrying about warning the Embassy, I would make sure that your bank details are safe by notifying your bank, to put a stop to any dodgy looking transactions from abroad.

Good luck.

Dom

[DaveUK]

Sorry to hear bout that Dave ....but well, that experience will make you wiser tho and be extra cautious next time but don't overdo it. I once came across a yankee online who got scammed too and he was very upset that every pinay he talked to he treated as a scammer and in the chatroom, he was always rude to pinays....but then he changed his strategy and went on breaking every pinay's heart. A pinay friend from CDO was one was of his victims and I learned from her that this yankee was having numerous love affairs with lots of Asians all at the same time. But what pissed me off was that despite learning all this, my friend seemed blindly captivated by his charm that she always reasoned out that he was just badly hurt and scammed by a pinay the reason why he is philandering.....Can u believe that???:yikes: :doh Pinays can be very "tanga" :censored:when blindly in love. I guess most of us got through with that phase lol......so Dave, I hope you wont do the same as the yankee did. For every place in any country there will always be good and bad people. Scammers and cheaters are all over the world. Bad luck if you met them and blessings too coz u become wiser and a better person :) Goodluck Dave!

There is no risk of me treating any Filipina like that guy did as I know that is completely wrong! The only one thing I will say that I still know is wrong but can't help feeling, is that my experience has unfortunately now made me very suspicious of any friendship that has been extended to me by other Filipino women! :-(

No matter how genuine I want to believe they are, I just can't keep help thinking about what Anne did and how I believed her, and that makes me take a very very stand-off approach to the new friendship!

On a side note, no need to worry about my bank accounts aromulus, already taken care of cheers mate! :-)

[joebloggs]

did you watch the program on tv last night?, them :censored: are scammers, wether you've been scammed or used, only you know..

I've just found out in the last hour, not only did Anna scam me, it was her plan from the start, so I now finally know everything she told me was a lie including what she thought about me!

she told you?, it was her plan from the start ? why did her friend tell you that she was upset when you left then :Erm:

things were against her from the start, her job, she was married, maybe she could never let you meet her family, becuase of what you know about her, and they don't know about her.. i'm not defending her one bit, no one likes to be lied or used....

i don't know how much she got out of you money wise, but if she was a scammer she would have got a lot more, looks to me like you've been used dave. just like many guys on here who have been 'used' by their g/f or wife...

wish you better luck next time.
:rolleyes:

[DaveUK]

Anna never told me it was her plan. I've still had no contact with her! Her friend told me she was upset when I left which to be honest was what I thought I already knew.

For the 2 weeks after I got back to the UK and Anna was still in HK, we would chat every night for about 4 hours, most times with her in tears and drunk because she missed me. She also reckoned she wasn't working because she was so upset, which given the times we were talking on the phone, I believed her.

It was another friend who told me last night that it was Anna's plan from the start to get money out of me! Don't know if the first friend knew that or not, but to be honest, I don't think I'd believe her if she said she didn't know! Then again, bizarrely her first friend asked me to be the godfather to her son and Anna to be the godmother, so I don't know what that says about the whole thing!

[baboyako]

:NoNo: well, you just can't give her up - can you? :rolleyes: so you'd better start collecting the visa evidence.. :omg:

[joebloggs]

4hrs on a phone a night :NoNo:, it was many years b4 i started to phone me misses and thats when i came across a voda pone :D, i'm sure scouser keith would know about the nec p3 mobile :xxgrinning--00xx3:

you've talked to her friend, scammers wouldn't let you do that, like i said, i think you've been used by her, maybe your all the options she had to get bac k home, see her family and go back to HK again. her not replying to you, maybe she thinks your better off without her or the guilt has got to her, what she did to you. i don't know how she does what she does, but then many couldn't understand, but some will do anything they have to , to feed thier family and i'm not calling anyone while sat in the uk working and getting benefits for childcare...

where does this leave you, shes not talking to you, not much you can do dave...

as for her friend, some friend she is !! snitching on her, maybe its true or she just said it to make you feel better and try to get over her..

sometimes its not easy to walk away badboyako, no matter how much you try,, i've been there :NoNo:

[Les_lady888]

Wow :yikes: I really thought it's only melodramatic filipinas who find it too difficult to walk away from a soiled love relationship...
:appl: <<<for those guys who are honest enough to share their love woes and hurt feelings.

[DaveUK]

4hrs on a phone a night :NoNo:, it was many years b4 i started to phone me misses and thats when i came across a voda pone :D, i'm sure scouser keith would know about the nec p3 mobile :xxgrinning--00xx3:

you've talked to her friend, scammers wouldn't let you do that, like i said, i think you've been used by her, maybe your all the options she had to get bac k home, see her family and go back to HK again. her not replying to you, maybe she thinks your better off without her or the guilt has got to her, what she did to you. i don't know how she does what she does, but then many couldn't understand, but some will do anything they have to , to feed thier family and i'm not calling anyone while sat in the uk working and getting benefits for childcare...

where does this leave you, shes not talking to you, not much you can do dave...

as for her friend, some friend she is !! snitching on her, maybe its true or she just said it to make you feel better and try to get over her..

sometimes its not easy to walk away badboyako, no matter how much you try,, i've been there :NoNo:

Well, after sending her the e-mail the other day saying I'd forgiven her as I believed she must of had a reason other than to scam me from the start, I then sent her a crappy text message last night with a couple of verbal slaps. Ok, I guess I was being bitter as I'd just heard from her friend about Anna scamming me from the start, but it was how I felt at the time!

Of course an hour or so later, I re-read an e-mail Anna had sent me one night while she was still in HK saying how she was upset and didn't know how the relationship could last as she was struggling to trust me! It also said she was try her best and she was sorry for putting this worry on me and she'd get through it! Once I read that, it got me thinking again! So I ended up replying to that e-mail asking her did she mean any of it! Again, I don't expect a reply!

[joebloggs]

trust you :D, maybe shes been let down in the past :cwm24:

many things i could have said to my now wife, but i didn't, i knew one day i would regret it if i did.. trusting her now could be a problem for you thou, but time is a great healer thou...

[kimmi]

I am very sorry for what happened Dave..Cheer up, u can still find somebody who is worthy of ur love...:)

[DaveUK]

Cheers Kimmi

[kimmi]

Will ur next thread be "Moving on Dave"???he he he

[DaveUK]

Quite possibly to be honest! :-)

I already have a new issue I was thinking of posting a new thread on looking for advice! What has happened with Anna has messed me up a little and is making me question certain things! But I'll save that for the new thread when I start it. You'll know it when you see it! :-)

[kimmi]

ok I am looking forward to ur new thread..I am glad that ur fine now and hopefully have learned ur lesson...Cheers..

[DaveUK]

I have, hence the need for the new thread! :-)

[kimmi]

wow Congtaz...I am happy for u..:)

[joebloggs]

ok I am looking forward to ur new thread..I am glad that ur fine now and hopefully have learned ur lesson...Cheers..

:D women :doh

hes not fine kimmi, hes just said hes a little messed up :Erm:

and as for learning his lesson, yep don't fall in love with a filipina :D


:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kimmi]

:D women :doh

hes not fine kimmi, hes just said hes a little messed up :Erm:

and as for learning his lesson, yep don't fall in love with a filipina :D


:xxgrinning--00xx3:

oh I am sorry I overlooked it I think he's fine already because he was able to talk to it...he he he

and hey don't tell me u also learned ur lesson Joe???:Erm::xxgrinning--00xx3::omg:

[joebloggs]

i've learnt my lesson, i should have Listened to my mummy :doh

:D:D

[kimmi]

:omg::omg::omg::Erm::Erm::NoNo::doh

calling the attention Of Dr.Joebloggs, ure needed in the forum..calling the attention of Dr. Joebloggs..:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[KeithD]

I was scammed once :angry:

In the pub, back in the 80's, I spent all night buying a Manc bird loadsa beer expecting :Sex: as payback...........turned out to be a guy dressed as a woman......:NoNo:.........anyway.....not wanting to waste money.......in a dark room, what you can't see you don't know.....:yikes:

[DaveUK]

lmao Cheers for that mate. That's the first thing that has made me laugh out loud in a while! :-)

[les_taxi]

I was scammed once :angry:

In the pub, back in the 80's, I spent all night buying a Manc bird loadsa beer expecting :Sex: as payback...........turned out to be a guy dressed as a woman......:NoNo:.........anyway.....not wanting to waste money.......in a dark room, what you can't see you don't know.....:yikes:

it was sven he has :thorsten_rammler: my team twice now,did he have long blonde hair in those days?:icon_lol:

[gracia143]

Cheers Joe. In a strange way, it's kind of nice to know other people have had issues and yet have come out the other side smiling! :-)

:D Tis true

[Mrs.JMajor]

I was scammed once :angry:

In the pub, back in the 80's, I spent all night buying a Manc bird loadsa beer expecting :Sex: as payback...........turned out to be a guy dressed as a woman......:NoNo:.........anyway.....not wanting to waste money.......in a dark room, what you can't see you don't know.....:yikes:

hello boss should i give u a red reputation for being naughty :icon_lol::icon_lol:

lol you made us (my hubby) laugh :Erm:

[rabb5it]

Well you say you're a sensitive Guy! What are you doing with prostitutes then?

I'm a sensitive Guy, it's never been a help to me in my life but I've never touched a prostitute either.

There is plenty of nicer girls in the world including Filipinas.

Move On

[KeithD]

:Erm: Prostitutes are cheaper than wives :xxparty-smiley-004: :ARsurrender:

[kimmi]

:Erm: Prostitutes are cheaper than wives :xxparty-smiley-004: :ARsurrender:

:Help1::bigcry::furious3::Erm::NoNo::omg:

[DaveUK]

Well you say you're a sensitive Guy! What are you doing with prostitutes then?

I'm a sensitive Guy, it's never been a help to me in my life but I've never touched a prostitute either.

There is plenty of nicer girls in the world including Filipinas.

Move On

What's being sensitive got to do with seeing a bargirl?!

[KeithD]

Well you say you're a sensitive Guy! What are you doing with prostitutes then?

I'm a sensitive Guy, it's never been a help to me in my life but I've never touched a prostitute either.

There is plenty of nicer girls in the world including Filipinas.

Move On

Forceful comments for someone on Post:1

[fred]

Forceful comments for someone on Post:1

And I wonder why he calls himself Rabbit?
The mind boggles!:yikes:

[Pepe n Pilar]

Well you say you're a sensitive Guy! What are you doing with prostitutes then?

i second the motion!:Erm::Erm::Erm:

I'm a sensitive Guy, it's never been a help to me in my life but I've never touched a prostitute either.

There is plenty of nicer girls in the world including Filipinas.

Move On

:iagree::iagree:

[KeithD]

Is a bargirl a Pole? :Erm:

[rabb5it]

What's being sensitive got to do with seeing a bargirl?!

Dave, I don't think it's generally perceived that sensitive people associate with bargirls. I would have assumed they would take a more cautious, thoughtful approach to their actions. To consider the greater picture in any given circumstance. In this case the morals, the dangers, the health hazards, the supply & demand scenario etc. Look at the psychological effect this had had on you. Perhaps you don't have psychological capacity to back up your physical actions.

And don't worry, I'm no angel. I've even been arrested and threatened with the birch in your country.

I really hope this is all some help in analysing yourself, your actions and going forward.

[Mrs.JMajor]

:Erm: i wonder if this goes to page 6 :Brick: what a long story :CompBuster:

[kimmi]

thats why I guess Id rather not be a sensitive or a pole dancer anymore..what do u think Ate?

[Mrs.JMajor]

just be a lawyer kimmi,more sensible:BouncyHappy:

[kimmi]

oh no u knew about it also???he he he

[andypaul]

[quote=rabb5it;54936]

And don't worry, I'm no angel. I've even been arrested and threatened with the birch in your country.

quote]

The Birch wow thats a long time ago i think 1948 birching was banned in the Uk or did you cause a riot in the Prison:omg: before 1962?

[kimmi]

And don't worry, I'm no angel. I've even been arrested and threatened with the birch in your country.


The Birch wow thats a long time ago i think 1948 birching was banned in the Uk or did you cause a riot in the Prison:omg: before 1962?


:Erm::Erm::NoNo::omg::omg::Help1::doh

[DaveUK]

Dave, I don't think it's generally perceived that sensitive people associate with bargirls. I would have assumed they would take a more cautious, thoughtful approach to their actions. To consider the greater picture in any given circumstance. In this case the morals, the dangers, the health hazards, the supply & demand scenario etc. Look at the psychological effect this had had on you. Perhaps you don't have psychological capacity to back up your physical actions.

And don't worry, I'm no angel. I've even been arrested and threatened with the birch in your country.

I really hope this is all some help in analysing yourself, your actions and going forward.

Hold on a minute! Apart from the fact, you're attempting to dish out advice long after the fact, I think you're focusing way too much on the sensitive part of the subject title of this thread!

What are you talking about when you go on about having the pychological capacity to deal with it?!? For me, it was just more a case of naievity, brought about by a lack of experience in dealing with bar girls! Nothing more, nothing less! Ok, I made a mistake in falling for one! But who hasn't fallen for someone (and I don't mean a bar girl) who is obviously not good for them!

If you've actually bothered to read this whole thread properly, you will see, thanks to the advice from everybody on this forum at the time I started this thread, I've now learnt a great deal! I'm less naive, a little more wiser, and also very appreciative of the advice given to me!

I'm now also well into the process of moving on from this part of my life, so thanks for your attempt at advice, but I think it's a case of too little, too late!

[joebloggs]

dave your right, you trusted someone who let you down, i'm sure thats happened to everyone at sometime, and worse is when you let yourself down..

nothing wrong with being sensitive or trusting, 2 good qualities in a person.


and as for hindsight

“Hindsight explains the injury that foresight would have prevented”.

and

“May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far”

:rolleyes:

[baboyako]

:Erm: what did you eat for breakfast joe? :ARsurrender:

[aromulus]

dave your right, you trusted someone who let you down, i'm sure thats happened to everyone at sometime, and worse is when you let yourself down..

nothing wrong with being sensitive or trusting, 2 good qualities in a person.


and as for hindsight

“Hindsight explains the injury that foresight would have prevented”.

and

“May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far”

:rolleyes:


:Erm: what did you eat for breakfast joe? :ARsurrender:

If a bacon butty does that to a vegetarian, I will go out and buy myself a piggery.....:D

[LadyJ]

Yay! seems like this is the longest thread on the forum!

[Mrs.JMajor]

sorry about that,i was teasing about the page 6 and then when i replied on kimmi,i'm the one who started a page 6,:Erm: i'm gonna make a rally not to make this post on page7,or boss close this thread :icon_lol: joking :Cuckoo:

[rabb5it]

The Birch wow thats a long time ago i think 1948 birching was banned in the Uk or did you cause a riot in the Prison:omg: before 1962?[/QUOTE]

To my knowledge, Corpral punishment and capital punishment for murder is still enforcable in the Isle of Man. Am I also right in thinking the IOM isn't part of the UK?

[joebloggs]

If a bacon butty does that to a vegetarian, I will go out and buy myself a piggery.....:D

i think i drank too much apple tango that day :Rasp::cwm12::Cuckoo::BouncyHappy:


meat is murder - the Smiths :cwm24:

[DaveUK]

The Birch wow thats a long time ago i think 1948 birching was banned in the Uk or did you cause a riot in the Prison:omg: before 1962?

To my knowledge, Corpral punishment and capital punishment for murder is still enforcable in the Isle of Man. Am I also right in thinking the IOM isn't part of the UK?[/QUOTE]

You're right, it's not technically part of the UK, just geographically.

[kimmi]

are we going to make a new thread now about Corporal and capital punishment??because i think its not related about bieng sensitive, what do u think Dave??

[DaveUK]

Hah Hah! I'm not sure! I'd be a bit sensitive if they tried capital punishment on me! :-)

[kimmi]

:omg::omg::Erm::Erm::doh:NoNo:

[rabb5it]

To my knowledge, Corpral punishment and capital punishment for murder is still enforcable in the Isle of Man. Am I also right in thinking the IOM isn't part of the UK?

You're right, it's not technically part of the UK, just geographically.[/QUOTE]

I've been to the IOM thrice Dave, it's a beautiful island. I first went when I went to the Easter Athletics festival in Douglas in 1975. Is it still held there? Another two visits saw me walking much of the coastline. Just loved the places & the people & the quieter pace of life. I hope to return.

[andypaul]

For those Phills worried they might try to hang you if you vist the lovely island and drop some litter. Also because i was nosey to see if they were allowed .
If the Judge puts on a Black cap.

You should be ok just quote protcol nbr 13 and make sure he or she knows its after 1-11-2006 and even if they did pass it, the sentence would get commuted to life imprisoment (which means your be out in a few years most likely) as no way would the British goverment allow them to do it. As they have done in recent history, when the judgement was handed out.

Corporal punsihment has also been abolished it seems, so it should be safe for scousers and dodgy londoners to go there.

A bit more googling showed that the easter festival is still running

http://www.iomtoday.co.im/sport/Easter-Athletics-Festival.3793220.jp

Still time for all the sporty Phill uk types to get there entries in:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kimmi]

:Help1:
sorry about that,i was teasing about the page 6 and then when i replied on kimmi,i'm the one who started a page 6,:Erm: i'm gonna make a rally not to make this post on page7,or boss close this thread :icon_lol: joking :Cuckoo:

Ate Juliet, i think there will be a page 8 with this thread..:omg::doh:Brick:

[Alan]

I say 'Bring back hanging in schools for disruptive pupils!'

That should be enough to get this thread to 8 pages (or more.)

Al.:)

[kimmi]

:omg::omg::Help1::Erm::NoNo::doh:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[wobblybob]

Hi Dave, yes many of us been through similar things and not only with filipina's, don't give up though mate, go out to the Phils have a good time, you don't need to go to the bars to meeta girl just smile at in the shops in the Mall, there are plenty of ovely ladies there, you don't have to meet them through the internet but it is way of getting to know them on a deeper level.
Just get out there enjoy it and be cautious. There are 000's of great looking girls waiting to fall in love with a guy like you over there and the majority of them are genuine.

[jimcarie]

I say 'Bring back hanging in schools for disruptive pupils!'

That should be enough to get this thread to 8 pages (or more.)

Al.:)

im sure happy i wasnt at your school sir :D

[KeithD]

Alan used to work in Jersey :omg:

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hi Dave, yes many of us been through similar things and not only with filipina's, don't give up though mate, go out to the Phils have a good time, you don't need to go to the bars to meeta girl just smile at in the shops in the Mall, there are plenty of ovely ladies there, you don't have to meet them through the internet but it is way of getting to know them on a deeper level.
Just get out there enjoy it and be cautious. There are 000's of great looking girls waiting to fall in love with a guy like you over there and the majority of them are genuine.

:) what a nice words wob :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Jonnywina]

dave did you ever visit phils?

what a story :)

[DaveUK]

Yeah, I did cheers mate. Got back last Monday after 2 great weeks! Met up with an amazing woman who I've been chatting to online and texting for the last few months.

It's kind of made this whole episode of my life worth the pain I went through as it lead me first to this forum, and then thanks to a new friend I made on here, lead me to my new lady! :-)

[Mrs.JMajor]

:omg::omg: wow this thread live again :xxgrinning--00xx3:

congratz simon wish u and yam good luck and hope this time went okay to both

of you :xxgrinning--00xx3::BouncyHappy:

[DaveUK]

Cheers jedc143 :-)

[Piamed]

Glad things are working out for you Dave!

[filipina_owl]

im sorry dave but i think your girl is not telling you the whole truth...sorry

[Terrielicious]

Hi Dave, hmmmmm I never heard about having 2nd interview. I know you dont wanna hear it but reading your post I think she isnt really interested. Just like any filipina are saying that people in the Philippines are very attached to thier mobile phones and of she really meant what she says that she really likes you, she will find a way to communicate and if she is upset or somethin she should have let you know to get you out to worry.. Well, goodluck to her 2nd interview.

[DaveUK]

Filipina_owl and Terrielicious,

Thanks for your concerns, but luckily for me, the girl this thread was about is long gone and I'm now very happy with another very beautiful and kind filipina! :-)

[marylen]

ye this is an old one post.no bother to reply any i guess as daveuk is already moving on..He is now facing a new chapter along with his yummy yum2x...good luck daveuk........you really deserves it...............................

[misscarie]

im happy for you Dave :) goodluck and keep the spirit of Love.

[Mrs.JMajor]

bossssssss closed this thread page 7 already he got new love now....lol

CLOSED THREAD

[misscarie]

CLOSED THREAD

OPEN :D

[Eljohno]

I am glad this story has a happy ending!!

I think its best not to start a relationship with a Bar girl, i am not saying they are all scammers but it can turn into a very complicated story so best to not try there and anyway there are millions of great other Filipino girls waiting for Mr Right or Mr white lol joking of course!!

[misscarie]

Mr.White? lol kuya eljohno , i dunno why some foreigns choosen to be with bar girls , arent they looking for Love or for One Night Stand? anyway , not all of course but "some"

Congrats Dave ... start to collect the pictures of u both together from ur first visit and other evidences needed for ur new girl friend's application for the near future :)

[nethlewy]

I suggest that the title to this thread is changed to.......

Looking for advice for a possible overly long thread!

[USA]

Filipina_owl and Terrielicious,

Thanks for your concerns, but luckily for me, the girl this thread was about is long gone and I'm now very happy with another very beautiful and kind filipina! :-)

Wow! I sure was glad when I got to this part. I can say I`ve had similar experiences in life. Though my trip to Hong was backward from yours Dave- I stayed at Lantau (where she worked) and visited Central with her for something to do rather than the other way around.
I can also say I fell in love with a "working girl" (many years ago)Get ready for the shocker- IT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE:omg:

[john flower]

My girlfriend tells me she can get a visa within 15 days by going through travel agency, it will cost £3500.I got a visa for a thai girl,through agency,in Thailand, the most difficult place to get visa for £800. Is this about right ,£3500, or am I being taken for aride.?

[joebloggs]

My girlfriend tells me she can get a visa within 15 days by going through travel agency, it will cost £3500.I got a visa for a thai girl,through agency,in Thailand, the most difficult place to get visa for £800. Is this about right ,£3500, or am I being taken for aride.?

what type of visa, visitor? unless they know someone at the embassy :D, £3,500 :yikes:, how can they get you a visa, only immigration staff at the embassy decide and issue visa's. looks to me you could get nothing for your money but a hole in your pocket :doh

[walesrob]

am I being taken for aride.?

101% :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[keithAngel]

110% John have you met her yet?

[Mrs.JMajor]

My girlfriend tells me she can get a visa within 15 days by going through travel agency, it will cost £3500.I got a visa for a thai girl,through agency,in Thailand, the most difficult place to get visa for £800. Is this about right ,£3500, or am I being taken for aride.?

Careful !! its not true,you will later know u been scam :NoNo::doh:yikes:

[jenniewannadate]

oh, you already have a good list for article sites to post your dating articles. i think it will help me too.

i don't want to let you down with some hard words. but try to build relationship that worths.

[scorpionmagnet]

You have very interesting topic here guys. Bar girls are money hookers but i must say not all of them are into hooking habits. They're just victims of the harsh realities of life. But you can avoid being hooked from your money if you are cautious and smart enough to easily notice if the girl is only after your money.

[aromulus]

oh, you already have a good list for article sites to post your dating articles. i think it will help me too.

i don't want to let you down with some hard words. but try to build relationship that worths.

Merged your posts, and removed the unauthorized links....:NoNo: