I live on Disability Allowance - Can I get my Pinay wife to UK [Archive]

ginapeterb

5th April 2006, 08:55

The following is the contents of an email forwarded to me at Bf.com today. (Name has been removed for privacy).

Hello Webmaster,

I am wondering if you can advise me, my name is xxxx in March of 2004, I flew to Davao City through Manila to meet my pinay GF, and in September we had our wedding in Davao City, everything has been fine, but my question is simpe

Can I get my wife to UK on the spouse visa with this circumstances.

1. I am not working.
2. I have permanent partial disability.
3. I am in receipt of Disability Living Alllowance (enhanced amount).
4. I am also in receipt of Income Support.
5. My savings were put in my brothers account so that they were not taken into cosideration.
6. I have some savings, about £5000.00.

The reason for my e mail, is that you mentioned that I have to demonstrate that I can support my wife without 'recourse to public funds'.

This is worrying me as I did not think about this when I met my GF in Philippines, I thought that there should be no problems bringing her to UK, but recently I saw your website under google search, now I am worried because you seem to say, there is not much chance, and we have got married, ??

Where do we go from here ? I am 52 years old, and my wife is only 23 years, we love each other very much, and my wife thinks she is coming soon to UK, I have not told her my dillema, and the problems I may face, but I am desperate for help in this.

I have used up some of my savings now, what with the costs of 2 visits, the wedding, so my savings have depleted, I have already spent close to £5000.00 on the flights, hotels, trips, and the wedding, so I am hoping the rest of my savings will be enough, at present I live in my brothers house, and it talks about suitable accomodation, do you think it will be enough for us to have a room at his house ?

It doesnt say anything about the accomodation requirements, just 'suitable accomodation'

I am embarassed to ask this, but do you think it would be possible, to have a co-sponsor for my wife ? I am sending you this mail because I am wondering whether you would help me in this ?

If you can help me sponsor my wife, it woulnd't involve you in any inconvenience in the UK, once she is here, of course it would not be your concern, but if you can help me, I would appreciate your advice and if you can do it for me.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxxxx

Petes comments

All yours Rob !!!!!!

walesrob

5th April 2006, 10:35

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ginapeterb @ Apr 5 2006, 08:55 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>

Petes comments
All yours Rob !!!!!!
[/b][/quote]

Pete, you always give me the easy ones :-)

To be bluntly honest, this guy is better off going to live in the Philippines, and telling his wife the TRUTH about whats really going on. Unless the Embassy find Jesus soon style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif , I doubt a visa will be issued, and I wouldn't waste £280 finding out, there is nothing in this story that will satisfy even the nicest ECO. Sorry!

There are a couple "maybes" here:

1) HE is in receipt of benefits, not her, so there will be no burden on the state as such, and if he can find a job for her before she arrives and get it confirmed, then this may help.

2) Elsa and I are living at my folks place (ok so its a 5 bed house and only Elsa and I and my mother live there) until we can find that elusive cheap house, and I see no reason why this guy can say the same thing, tell his brother to confirm this in writing. My line of thinking is why rent or buy a house on a "maybe" chance of getting a visa.

Don't bother with the co-sponsor lark Pete, it ain't worth the hassle, but you probably already know that.

ginapeterb

5th April 2006, 17:54

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(walesrob @ Apr 5 2006, 10:35 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Pete, you always give me the easy ones :-)

To be bluntly honest, this guy is better off going to live in the Philippines, and telling his wife the TRUTH about whats really going on. Unless the Embassy find Jesus soon style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif , I doubt a visa will be issued, and I wouldn't waste £280 finding out, there is nothing in this story that will satisfy even the nicest ECO. Sorry!

There are a couple "maybes" here:

1) HE is in receipt of benefits, not her, so there will be no burden on the state as such, and if he can find a job for her before she arrives and get it confirmed, then this may help.

2) Elsa and I are living at my folks place (ok so its a 5 bed house and only Elsa and I and my mother live there) until we can find that elusive cheap house, and I see no reason why this guy can say the same thing, tell his brother to confirm this in writing. My line of thinking is why rent or buy a house on a "maybe" chance of getting a visa.

Don't bother with the co-sponsor lark Pete, it ain't worth the hassle, but you probably already know that.
[/b][/quote]

hahahaha, no Rob, I just thought its your customer ! or we could Pass it on to Ivor, he is in a good mood, now since he and Mel are back from Philippines, maybe we should send it over to him.

Go for it Ivor !! hahahaha

deepete

5th April 2006, 18:19

Another maybe, was it posted on April 1st

Admin

5th April 2006, 18:25

I don't find anything about the email amusing. I was in a similar situation myself at the time I brought the missus over, although it was from Singapore, and was 'between' homes, but the only financial proof I had then was my benefits....not sure they would have understood any winnings from gambling, and probably would have put it down as a black mark as professional gamblers don't exist do they? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif

mupsuit

5th April 2006, 19:29

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(walesrob @ Apr 5 2006, 10:35 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Pete, you always give me the easy ones :-)

To be bluntly honest, this guy is better off going to live in the Philippines, .
[/b][/quote]

This is a real dilema for the man - I agree that he can not hold much hope of getting a spouse visa as they are adamant that public funds are not considered ....

also he can't go to PI to live as I believe disability allowances are only paid while resident in the UK

I think he should go to see his Benefits Case officer and discuss his situation - there may be a concession that we are unaware of - eg his wife will be his carer and thus qualify for a visa or perhaps they will pay his allowances while he is overseas

ask him to keep us informed as this topic will come up again

ivor&mel

5th April 2006, 20:54

hahahaha, no Rob, I just thought its your customer ! or we could Pass it on to Ivor, he is in a good mood, now since he and Mel are back from Philippines, maybe we should send it over to him.

Go for it Ivor !! hahahaha

I would, but unfortunately I'm still a Newbie.... I know my place :Rasp:

deepete

5th April 2006, 21:13

walesrob

5th April 2006, 21:34

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete @ Apr 5 2006, 09:13 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
So you all seem to think its O.K. for the guy to marry his partner without letting her know that he lives on benifits and she may turn out to be the breadwinner, and it didnt dawn on her to ask about his circumstances, if she did he must have lied because he said she doesnt know.

I dont think its a good way to start a marriage.
[/b][/quote]

I did actually make the point that he should be totally honest with his wife, and he hasn't. He's setting himself up for a big fall, so if I were him, I would tell her everything NOW.

ivor&mel

5th April 2006, 21:57

So you all seem to think its O.K. for the guy to marry his partner without letting her know that he lives on benifits and she may turn out to be the breadwinner, and it didnt dawn on her to ask about his circumstances, if she did he must have lied because he said she doesnt know.

I dont think its a good way to start a marriage.

I think there is a lot that is NOT OK about this couple's situation, and I find it difficult to say anything optimistic about the proposed application beyond what Rob has already said. At the very least, there has been a lack of openness and thought about their relationship, but that may be down to blissful ignorance rather than lying.

Whatever... if this was a genuine e-mail, then they are facing an uphill struggle and I'm sure they would appreciate all the help they can get from here or elsewhere. We all make mistakes, overlook things - even me, I believe :) It IS a genuine e-mail, isn't it Pete? Do the mail headers look pukka?

Ivor and Mel

ginapeterb

9th April 2006, 20:03

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ivor&mel @ Apr 5 2006, 09:57 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
I think there is a lot that is NOT OK about this couple's situation, and I find it difficult to say anything optimistic about the proposed application beyond what Rob has already said. At the very least, there has been a lack of openness and thought about their relationship, but that may be down to blissful ignorance rather than lying.

Whatever... if this was a genuine e-mail, then they are facing an uphill struggle and I'm sure they would appreciate all the help they can get from here or elsewhere. We all make mistakes, overlook things - even me, I believe style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif It IS a genuine e-mail, isn't it Pete? Do the mail headers look pukka?

Ivor and Mel
[/b][/quote]

This one was re mailed to me Ivor, so I don't know where it came from, it came through the website, but I have no reason to believe, anyone would write this if it wasn't a true reflection of their personal circumstances, I don't judge the guy, he has his own set of probs to deal with.

He probably started off by stringing the girl along on the net, only to find he was deep in it, when some months had passed.

But, stories are like a holes, everyone has one !

ivor&mel

9th April 2006, 22:27

This one was re mailed to me Ivor, so I don't know where it came from, it came through the website, but I have no reason to believe, anyone would write this if it wasn't a true reflection of their personal circumstances, I don't judge the guy, he has his own set of probs to deal with.

He probably started off by stringing the girl along on the net, only to find he was deep in it, when some months had passed.

But, stories are like a holes, everyone has one !

The reason I asked about the authenticity of the e-mail was the bit about co-sponsorship: that is a new concept to me. What does it involve? A sponsor has financial obligations, so a co-sponsor would have too? If so, then the bit about "If you can help me sponsor my wife, it woulnd't involve you in any inconvenience in the UK" rings rather hollow... Maybe I've seen too many variations on the 419 scam and am getting cynica l:) And too many memories of Filipinaheart - just seeing the words "help me" flashes up "give money to me" :)

But if the guy is genuine, he has my sympathy. He has a place to live, and where his wife could live. He has not insubstantial savings, albeit - unless I have misread - hidden from Big Brother, which may prove problematic in declaring on the application form? Where does he live? 5K in London is different from 5K in Gateshead. How much is "Disability Living Alllowance (enhanced amount) + Income Support" worth? He's got 5K savings and had another 5K to spend on trips to Phil, so he's hardly been on the breadline? The criteria for successful visa applications are STILL a mystery to me - do you have any ideas about what the minimum level people have been accepted on? Has anyone in his position been granted a visa as far as you know? I really wish the guy good luck, and just hope he can explain the true situation to his wife as soon as possible so that they can work on this together.

Ivor and Mel

ginapeterb

10th April 2006, 09:45

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ivor&mel @ Apr 9 2006, 10:27 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
The reason I asked about the authenticity of the e-mail was the bit about co-sponsorship: that is a new concept to me. What does it involve? A sponsor has financial obligations, so a co-sponsor would have too? If so, then the bit about "If you can help me sponsor my wife, it woulnd't involve you in any inconvenience in the UK" rings rather hollow... Maybe I've seen too many variations on the 419 scam and am getting cynical:) And too many memories of Filipinaheart - just seeing the words "help me" flashes up "give money to me" style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

But if the guy is genuine, he has my sympathy. He has a place to live, and where his wife could live. He has not insubstantial savings, albeit - unless I have misread - hidden from Big Brother, which may prove problematic in declaring on the application form? Where does he live? 5K in London is different from 5K in Gateshead. How much is "Disability Living Alllowance (enhanced amount) + Income Support" worth? He's got 5K savings and had another 5K to spend on trips to Phil, so he's hardly been on the breadline? The criteria for successful visa applications are STILL a mystery to me - do you have any ideas about what the minimum level people have been accepted on? Has anyone in his position been granted a visa as far as you know? I really wish the guy good luck, and just hope he can explain the true situation to his wife as soon as possible so that they can work on this together.

Ivor and Mel

Ivor and Mel
[/b][/quote]

Of course you are correct Ivor, I suppose he should get our sympathies, not everyone I guess fits in the pidgeon hole of self reliance and a regular income, I suppose we also have to remember, that sometimes we think " Why is this guy stringing this girl along" when it may be a genuine situation, where he finds himself not fitting quite right into the pidgeon slot, I think he said, his 5k is depleted now, I dont think he has another 5k, Im not sure about the minimum levels, I think to be honest, its mainly, that the guy is working and would not need to have recourse to public funds to support his wife, if he is living on public funds, he cannot bring a.n. other to live in UK whilst being in receipt.

There are some who would say ' he has no business marrying a girl, whilst on public funds' and there are those who might sympathise with his situation, as some of them may be partially disabled, and of course we know these guys are entitled to a happy life also.

I suppose its not impossible for this to go through ok, again the burden of proof would be on the guys ability to support his wife without recourse, as far as his attempts to get 'co sponsorship' I would be suprised if anyone would do that for him ? we all have to support our own wives, although many pinays, once the settle in to life in UK tend to want to work themselves, for various reasons, so they in fact never become a burden on public funds.

Its a paradox, all they seem to be concerned about at UKVisas, is that the 'Applicant does not represent a burden on public funds' and yet, the statistics, show that Pinoys and Pinays alike, tend to come to UK and end up working in jobs that many of us would rather not do, such as house helps, Nanny's Domestic workers, shop assistants, in the food trade, and other lower paid jobs, and yet they do find work fairly quickly, this shows that they wouldnt really end up being a burden on public funds, the problem with the spouse/fiancee visa process, is that the applicant cannot simply expect to show the Embassy that they would work, when they don't in fact have a job, the only case where I saw that was different, is actually our very own Rob, Forum Moderator, who could with all honesty say, that his wife had a job to go to, because Elsa's Job was already agreed and in place.

Rob will no doubt back us on this one, but as far as this guy goes, I hope he sorts it out, but its unreasonable for him to presume that some other guy can co-sponsor his wife, the Embassy are never going to sanction that.

As I said, best of luck to him.

Pauldo

10th April 2006, 20:55

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ginapeterb @ Apr 10 2006, 09:45 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>

Its a paradox, all they seem to be concerned about at UKVisas, is that the 'Applicant does not represent a burden on public funds' and yet, the statistics, show that Pinoys and Pinays alike, tend to come to UK and end up working in jobs that many of us would rather not do, such as house helps, Nanny's Domestic workers, shop assistants, in the food trade, and other lower paid jobs, and yet they do find work fairly quickly....
[/b][/quote]

Yet the government are throwing billions at anybody who comes to the UK who is NOT qualified to assist or help the country in any way. Illegals, asylum seekers, political dissidents and other general lazy gits. None of it makes sense to me any more.

My local hospital, where my wife is currently training as a nurse, has just laid of 150 staff, including doctors and nurses, yet last week they were showing a whole bunch of freshly imported Indian nurses round the joint. Same with North Staffs hospital, just laid off 1000 staff, including docs/nurses. Yet the papers are screaming "massive shortage of qualified nurses in England".

Who is $hitting whom in the UK??? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif

Admin

11th April 2006, 09:11

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>if he is living on public funds, he cannot bring a.n. other to live in UK whilst being in receipt.[/b][/quote]

Yes he can. I did, and I know another person on Incapacity and DLA that did. It has nothing to do with where the British person gets there money from, just that they have to prove they have enough left over to support there other half.

It is his money, and he can spend it anyway he wants. I would prefer some of it be invested in a filipino girl, than the average unemployed English guy/woman spending it on drink, ciggies & drugs.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>
Pinoys and Pinays alike, tend to come to UK and end up working in jobs that many of us would rather not do, such as house helps, Nanny's Domestic workers, shop assistants, in the food trade, and other lower paid jobs[/b][/quote]
...and without these people our country would be in even more sh1t, as the average lazy English folk can't be style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/butthead.gif with any job that may involve actually doing some work.

How many times when you visit a hospital are the English nurses sitting down having a chat and a cup of tea, while the Filipino nurses are still working? Every time, and I vist the hospital a lot.

ervenescence

27th April 2006, 09:42

If this is for real, I would say poor girl because she doesn't know yet of whats the truth behind this guy who completely rely on benifits. Damn! why not tell her the truth! Its maybe because he's afraid of what might have happen, that she might turn out once she knows it? - lets say as same as reaction of the other women in his place when he tried to court them and once they knew the truth they were all vanish.

Please don't make lifes more complicated, don't think about the immigration for now - please he have to clean his mess first before getting involve with a filipina abroad and planning for a marriage. I hope he's not serious with this because the girl will end up of blaming him and the possibility of getting a divorce once she will know it after marriage. So 52 and 23? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Erm.gif im not against of age gap, but I hope she will not dump him once she get her in the UK, only if she grant the visa.

(Now I fancy fish and chips style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif )

truelove26

27th April 2006, 11:33

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ervenescence @ Apr 27 2006, 09:42 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
If this is for real, I would say poor girl because she doesn't know yet of whats the truth behind this guy who completely rely on benifits. Damn! why not tell her the truth! Its maybe because he's afraid of what might have happen, that she might turn out once she knows it? - lets say as same as reaction of the other women in his place when he tried to court them and once they knew the truth they were all vanish.

Please don't make lifes more complicated, don't think about the immigration for now - please he have to clean his mess first before getting involve with a filipina abroad and planning for a marriage. I hope he's not serious with this because the girl will end up of blaming him and the possibility of getting a divorce once she will know it after marriage. So 52 and 23? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Erm.gif im not against of age gap, but I hope she will not dump him once she get her in the UK, only if she grant the visa.
(Now I fancy fish and chips style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif )
[/b][/quote]
i felt so upset about the guy's situation....maybe its not his intention to hide the truth to the girl,its just that sometimes we get scared of telling the truth maybe if we did,well lost someoen who is dear to us.but still,if he really needs to be sure that the girl loves him then he must have tell her the truth before getting married...
his situation is a bit complicated specially when it comes to the embassy but i wish them good luck for the future.....

truelove26

Pauldo

27th April 2006, 20:48

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(truelove26 @ Apr 27 2006, 11:33 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
i felt so upset about the guy's situation....maybe its not his intention to hide the truth to the girl,its just that sometimes we get scared of telling the truth maybe if we did,well lost someoen who is dear to us.but still,if he really needs to be sure that the girl loves him then he must have tell her the truth before getting married...
his situation is a bit complicated specially when it comes to the embassy but i wish them good luck for the future.....

truelove26
[/b][/quote]

I feel sorry for the poor old guy, if he is indeed what he makes out to be: a lonely old chap looking for love and companionship. I don't think he is/was out to rip anybody off or decieve them.

Just think what he has to look forward to if he stayed at home in the cold amd miserable UK. Would he find love there? I doubt it, unless he was happy to shack up with some 50 year old English crone, who would probably come with a ready made family of her own and more than enough emotional baggage for the two of them.

I do think he may be treading on thin ice if he brings her over without first explaining the full details, but maybe she already knows his circumstances? Ideally, the embassy will check into whether they think he can support and provide for his wife? Maybe she will be happy and willing to work as soon as she arrives?

People see the age gap as an obstacle, a hurdle, something unusual, even see it as wrong, but they are usually the people who have never travelled the world and see the ways different societies live. English people have the luxury of the welfare state to fall back on if they are too lazy or sick to work and provide for themselves, but other countries are not so lucky. Survival of the fittest is the way, and just because someone is twice your age doesn't mean you should shun them as a mate, if your two lives together are beneficial for each other. Sometimes people don't have the luxury of waiting for the perfect partner to turn up.

If he can provide her with security, a place to live, an income, food on the table, a future, and she can provide him with companionship, care, sex, the feeling of being wanted, then they have found love in their own way, regardless of their ages or the circumstances in which they met.

lefthandseat

7th May 2006, 00:14

[quote name='Pauldo' date='Apr 27 2006, 08:48 PM' post='5527']
"I feel sorry for the poor old guy, if he is indeed what he makes out to be: a lonely old chap looking for love... "

Hey guys!! PLEASE can we less of the appalling ageism!!! This poor fellow has enough problems without having to suffer the epithet "old" TWICE in the same sentence!

He is only in his early fifties, and that is NOT "old".

Seriously, you ought to know better!! You criticise many aspects of the UK, and I am in general agreement with the vast majority of your comments, but rampant ageism is something which is quite intolerable.

We have come to accept that we should not discriminate for reasons of gender, race, creed, etc - but why is it that we still consider it perfectly acceptable to be offensive about someone's age - especially when they are NOT old????

OK, speech over - I hope someone can give this guy the help he needs so that he can be with the wife he loves.

Pauldo

7th May 2006, 04:31

"Hey guys!! PLEASE can we less of the appalling ageism!!! This poor fellow has enough problems without having to suffer the epithet "old" TWICE in the same sentence!

He is only in his early fifties, and that is NOT "old".

Seriously, you ought to know better!! You criticise many aspects of the UK, and I am in general agreement with the vast majority of your comments, but rampant ageism is something which is quite intolerable.

We have come to accept that we should not discriminate for reasons of gender, race, creed, etc - but why is it that we still consider it perfectly acceptable to be offensive about someone's age - especially when they are NOT old????

OK, speech over - I hope someone can give this guy the help he needs so that he can be with the wife he loves."

Hey dude, step back and take a chill pill. You've been on this forum two days, made five posts, and you're already telling us what to think and what our opinions should be????

Admin

7th May 2006, 07:33

50 is OLD in human life term expectancy, as the stats of dieing increase each year after that....have a nice day style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

walesrob

7th May 2006, 20:33

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 7 2006, 07:33 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
50 is OLD in human life term expectancy, as the stats of dieing increase each year after that....have a nice day style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif
[/b][/quote]

Keith you always bring sunshine to the forum style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Wave.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Wave.gif

What you doing up so early on a Sunday morning anyway style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif

baboyako

7th May 2006, 23:32

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 7 2006, 07:33 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
50 is OLD in human life term expectancy, as the stats of dieing increase each year after that....have a nice day style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif
[/b][/quote]
I hate to sound like an actuary style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Doh.gif but the probability of death is a minimum at the age of 7 (in the UK at least).

At 50 years old - You have another 28 years and 9 months to organise the funeral.

Admin

8th May 2006, 06:49

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(walesrob @ May 7 2006, 08:33 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Keith you always bring sunshine to the forum style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Wave.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Wave.gif

What you doing up so early on a Sunday morning anyway style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif
[/b][/quote]
I'm off to Singapore on Wednesday, so already running on Afghan time zone style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

walesrob

8th May 2006, 07:47

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 8 2006, 06:49 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
I'm off to Singapore on Wednesday, so already running on Afghan time zone style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif
[/b][/quote]

I'm off to Manchester tomorrow...... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif

lefthandseat

8th May 2006, 10:56

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pauldo @ May 7 2006, 04:31 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
"Hey guys!! PLEASE can we less of the appalling ageism!!! This poor fellow has enough problems without having to suffer the epithet "old" TWICE in the same sentence!

He is only in his early fifties, and that is NOT "old".

Seriously, you ought to know better!! You criticise many aspects of the UK, and I am in general agreement with the vast majority of your comments, but rampant ageism is something which is quite intolerable.

We have come to accept that we should not discriminate for reasons of gender, race, creed, etc - but why is it that we still consider it perfectly acceptable to be offensive about someone's age - especially when they are NOT old????

OK, speech over - I hope someone can give this guy the help he needs so that he can be with the wife he loves."

Hey dude, step back and take a chill pill. You've been on this forum two days, made five posts, and you're already telling us what to think and what our opinions should be????
[/b][/quote]

I am somewhat surprised by your response. I am NOT telling anyone what to think - if you had read my comments accurately you would have realised that.

I was objecting to comments which I find offensive - and which may well be offensive to many others who see this site - including many men in this age-range who are either dating or married to ladies from the east. Indeed, forthcoming changes in the law will make such comments unlawful!

In response to your comment about the number of postings I have made - what, precisely, is your point? Is there some 'time-limit' before members may make postings? Do you have some issue with the other postings I have made? If so, please tell me. The comments I have posted were intended to be helpful responses to the issues raised.

If you do not agree with my comments, then that is your inalienable right - a right which I would always support.

However, it is very sad and unfortunate that you choose to do so in a manner which is so churlish and childish, and it does absolutely nothing to further the credibility and reputation of this website.

Eurasian

27th May 2006, 01:51

52 and 23... and in love?

This stuff really does dishearten me...

walesrob

27th May 2006, 05:01

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Eurasian @ May 27 2006, 01:51 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
52 and 23... and in love?

This stuff really does dishearten me...
[/b][/quote]

Jeez, lay off with the attitude. Live and let live and all that. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif

ivor&mel

27th May 2006, 07:49

52 and 23... and in love?

This stuff really does dishearten me...

Eurasian,

This is the 3rd post from you that I have read this morning, and you've not made a particularly impressive start...

There's a 29-year age difference... And your point is what exactly...? Don't worry - it's not compulsory...

If you have something useful to contribute, please do so and you will be welcome. Otherwise, the door is open...

This stuff really DOES dishearten me!

Eurasian

27th May 2006, 09:01

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ivor&mel @ May 27 2006, 07:49 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Eurasian,

This is the 3rd post from you that I have read this morning, and you've not made a particularly impressive start...

There's a 29-year age difference... And your point is what exactly...? Don't worry - it's not compulsory...

If you have something useful to contribute, please do so and you will be welcome. Otherwise, the door is open...

This stuff really DOES dishearten me!
[/b][/quote]

The point is, being half filipino and half white. Seeing people such as him (and yourself) pick young girls out of "dating" sites sicken me. It's just as bad as "MOB" in the respect that, they marry anyone to get to England. Regardless if they're nice or not. Then you all claim it's "love". In my eyes, your no different than the scum walking around with young girls attached to their arms in places like Manila.

And for the "useful to contribute" comment. I have my opinion, you have yours. The joys of subjectivity! So I would appreciate you actually try and look at it from my perspective. Which I'm guessing is pretty hard because it's been a long time since you were 18 style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif.

ivor&mel

27th May 2006, 09:21

Is this what the Forum is degenerating into? Listen sunshine, have you ANY clue what this Forum is about? Obviously not. It's a forum for adults, who want to help each other, offer constructive advice, help and information. You're out of your league here, sonny. That's my constructive advice to you. Get your coat. And get a note from your mother before you think of posting here again.

Admin

27th May 2006, 12:21

ervenescence

27th May 2006, 13:18

deepete

27th May 2006, 14:03

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Eurasian @ May 27 2006, 09:01 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
The point is, being half filipino and half white. Seeing people such as him (and yourself) pick young girls out of "dating" sites sicken me. It's just as bad as "MOB" in the respect that, they marry anyone to get to England. Regardless if they're nice or not. Then you all claim it's "love". In my eyes, your no different than the scum walking around with young girls attached to their arms in places like Manila.

And for the "useful to contribute" comment. I have my opinion, you have yours. The joys of subjectivity! So I would appreciate you actually try and look at it from my perspective. Which I'm guessing is pretty hard because it's been a long time since you were 18 style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif.
[/b][/quote]

Hi Eurasian,
I think you bring some topics up here worthy of discussion, although some people seem sensitive on the issue.People need a wake up call as they seem to think that a beautiful girl 20 to 30 years younger then them has fallen in love with their looks or interlect after a few conversations on a computer.Geez, get real.
All the girls on the pen pal sites have no shortage of local male admirers, they want the good things in life and have found an easy way of getting it, nudged along by their family and friends.

The men, well mostly they have failed to make it with girls from their own background and go looking for a easier way to find a relationship.They blame it all on so called "western women" being money grabbers etc and loose with their morals, ballshit, there are some real diamonds out there just as anywhere else in the world. They are just not man enough to maintain a relationship. Or maybe its how another poster on here described it(Kristleh)There are also foreigners who marry Filipinas for love and some to satisfy their Asian fetishism (submissive and passive Asian wife who is a virgin).

Funny though, love does seem to develope after a while and for whatever reason forms a longlasting relationship with children. Works for both sides, women have security and family, men have their ego`s stroked.

Peter...waiting for the **** to hit the fan style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif

walesrob

27th May 2006, 14:25

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete @ May 27 2006, 02:03 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>

The men, well mostly they have failed to make it with girls from their own background and go looking for a easier way to find a relationship.They blame it all on so called "western women" being money grabbers etc and loose with their morals, ballshit.

Peter...waiting for the **** to hit the fan style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif
[/b][/quote]

Utter rubbish!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif

Peter (and Eurasian for that matter) you are both generalising with a 50 foot brush here. Get real style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif

ivor&mel

27th May 2006, 15:01

Utter rubbish!!! :cwm24:
Peter (and Eurasian for that matter) you are both generalising with a 50 foot brush here. Get real :cwm24:
Totally agree, Rob. There seems to be a lot of resentment, jealousy and semi-detachment from reality floating about today. Peter is right in saying that Eurasian touches on topics worth discussing. But discussing, not personal abuse, venting prejudices and sweeping generalisations. Can't be long now before someone mentions Hitler on this thread. Oops... :)

Ivor and Mel

deepete

27th May 2006, 16:25

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

Eurasian

27th May 2006, 16:50

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>So, how do you call your mum then? Didn't you realise that you shouldn't be here if its not because of your mum who got married to your white dad? You're really a cocky one. dry.gif:
[/b][/quote]

No the difference between my parents relationship compared to the rest of yours is... my dad did not pick my mum out of a catalogue style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif .

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Totally agree, Rob. There seems to be a lot of resentment, jealousy and semi-detachment from reality floating about today. Peter is right in saying that Eurasian touches on topics worth discussing. But discussing, not personal abuse, venting prejudices and sweeping generalisations. Can't be long now before someone mentions Hitler on this thread. Oops... [/b][/quote]

Jealousy? Haha. If I wanted a filipina wife I'd just borrow your catalogue. Simple as. But then again, as I said you wouldn't understand. The first reason being:

1. Your in the position that I disagree with.
2. Your not mixed filipino/white.

Thus, you wouldn't understand where I'm comming from. So far you totally disregarded my views over the fact I'm "18". Now, if my posts come across as rude, then I apologise. I did not mean to offend. But really, what depete said was 100% true. Not in all cases, but certainly in some... and in yours I believe.

ivor&mel

27th May 2006, 17:17

No the difference between my parents relationship compared to the rest of yours is... my dad did not pick my mum out of a catalogue

Jealousy? Haha. If I wanted a filipina wife I'd just borrow your catalogue. Simple as. But then again, as I said you wouldn't understand. The first reason being:

1. Your in the position that I disagree with.
2. Your not mixed filipino/white.

Thus, you wouldn't understand where I'm comming from. So far you totally disregarded my views over the fact I'm "18". Now, if my posts come across as rude, then I apologise. I did not mean to offend. But really, what depete said was 100% true. Not in all cases, but certainly in some... and in yours I believe.

You really don't get it do you? You joined this forum five minutes ago, just to be abusive, and you have nothing constructive or civil to say. Your posts have all the markings of a sad loser who cannot pull and abuses those who can. Do you know any of us here? Of course not - you know nothing, just latch on to people who have success in life and love, and spew out your resentment in personal abuse. Sonny, some advice - it ain't gonna work! Keep on as much as you want: you are going to change nothing!

Your words show you have zero understanding of people's situations here. And to pretend that you have the SLIGHTEST understanding of MY situation is total bullshit!

Look sonny, I make no claims to understand you. I don't really care where you are coming from - just wish you would go back there! Keyboard warriors are 10 a penny. I suggest you find a more appropriate forum where you can vent your warped spleen. Go away. Grow up. And if and when you feel you can adopt a less confrontational and abusive position, then try again.

Eurasian

27th May 2006, 17:32

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ivor&mel @ May 27 2006, 05:17 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
You really don't get it do you? You joined this forum five minutes ago, just to be abusive, and you have nothing constructive or civil to say. Your posts have all the markings of a sad loser who cannot pull and abuses those who can. Do you know any of us here? Of course not - you know nothing, just latch on to people who have success in life and love, and spew out your resentment in personal abuse. Sonny, some advice - it ain't gonna work! Keep on as much as you want: you are going to change nothing!

Your words show you have zero understanding of people's situations here. And to pretend that you have the SLIGHTEST understanding of MY situation is total bullshit!

Look sonny, I make no claims to understand you. I don't really care where you are coming from - just wish you would go back there! Keyboard warriors are 10 a penny. I suggest you find a more appropriate forum where you can vent your warped spleen. Go away. Grow up. And if and when you feel you can adopt a less confrontational and abusive position, then try again.
[/b][/quote]

Can't pull? Seriously. All abuse aside. Where did you meet your wife again?

Admin

27th May 2006, 17:35

Eurass........I think when your parents picked you out of the catalogue it was the Argos Summer Stock Sale style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif

The scouse bird with my kids, I met while drunk, humped her on the first night, she got pregnant, had another kid, spent 4 years with her, arguing, drunk, smoking, etc.........years later I courted a Filipino for 2 years before we decided to marry.....wonder which one is the 'correct' way?

I'm feeling gay today....any guy up for a style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif

walesrob

27th May 2006, 17:38

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 27 2006, 05:35 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Eurass........I think when your parents picked you out of the catalogue it was the Argos Summer Stock Sale style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif

The scouse bird with my kids, I met while drunk, humped her on the first night, she got pregnant, had another kid, spent 4 years with her, arguing, drunk, smoking, etc.........years later I courted a Filipino for 2 years before we decided to marry.....wonder which one is the 'correct' way?

I'm feeling gay today....any guy up for a style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm24.gif
[/b][/quote]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Pauldo

27th May 2006, 17:44

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete @ May 27 2006, 02:03 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Hi Eurasian,
I think you bring some topics up here worthy of discussion, although some people seem sensitive on the issue.People need a wake up call as they seem to think that a beautiful girl 20 to 30 years younger then them has fallen in love with their looks or interlect after a few conversations on a computer.Geez, get real.
All the girls on the pen pal sites have no shortage of local male admirers, they want the good things in life and have found an easy way of getting it, nudged along by their family and friends.

The men, well mostly they have failed to make it with girls from their own background and go looking for a easier way to find a relationship.They blame it all on so called "western women" being money grabbers etc and loose with their morals, ballshit, there are some real diamonds out there just as anywhere else in the world. They are just not man enough to maintain a relationship. Or maybe its how another poster on here described it(Kristleh)There are also foreigners who marry Filipinas for love and some to satisfy their Asian fetishism (submissive and passive Asian wife who is a virgin).

Funny though, love does seem to develope after a while and for whatever reason forms a longlasting relationship with children. Works for both sides, women have security and family, men have their ego`s stroked.

Peter...waiting for the **** to hit the fan style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif
[/b][/quote]

You seem to have the same agenda as Eurasian all of a sudden.

I thought the idea of this forum was to encourage and help people, not to expose dirty laundry or attempt to belittle people.

In fact I fail to see why you use this forum, as you are obviously in the group that instantly insults anybody who shows interest in girls from the Philippines. There is a whole thread devoted to people like you and Eurasian:

http://www.win2winracing.com/inv_filipino/...p?showtopic=551 (http://www.win2winracing.com/inv_filipino/index.php?showtopic=551)

Admin

27th May 2006, 17:46

Paul...I think you meant this thread http://www.hipforums.com/forums/archive/index.php/f-59.html style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

ivor&mel

27th May 2006, 17:50

For the first time here, I've had to resort to blocking a member. So sad. But when I start getting abusive PMs too, that's it as far as I'm concerned. I've already wasted too much time on Euknowwho! I'm going to miss his posts, but... I'll try to survive :)

Admin

27th May 2006, 17:58

He's banned already.....not a record though, we have a number on the other forums who got banned before even posting style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

You better watch out Rob.....you're inbred Welsh style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif

Pauldo

28th May 2006, 00:38

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 27 2006, 05:58 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
He's banned already.....not a record though, we have a number on the other forums who got banned before even posting style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

You better watch out Rob.....you're inbred Welsh style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif
[/b][/quote]

Well, looking back at Deepetes post, which was on a similar vein to Eurosluts, I decided to check into his profile, and what do I find under 'interests'

"talking to sad inadequates who blame all their woes on their own countrywomen and then get led around by the nose by some golddigger from the Philippines"

I'm kinda curious why a prick with an attitude like that is on this forum, and has made 175 posts, come to think of it!

Admin

28th May 2006, 07:52

Well, if someone wants to start a democratic poll on whether to ban some one or not, I can't stop you style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

Some people just live in there own little box and do not understand that the world is one with no boundaries.

Is not English marrying a Welsh girl the same? Different country, breeding, language, history, etc.....or maybe we just ban Rob style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif

walesrob

28th May 2006, 08:29

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 28 2006, 07:52 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Well, if someone wants to start a democratic poll on whether to ban some one or not, I can't stop you style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

Some people just live in there own little box and do not understand that the world is one with no boundaries.

Is not English marrying a Welsh girl the same? Different country, breeding, language, history, etc.....or maybe we just ban Rob style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif
[/b][/quote]

Yeah <span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:100%">YEAH</span>, come on then scouser; me and my 20 sheep versus you style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif

ginapeterb

28th May 2006, 09:37

Magandang Umaga Bayan ! and Good Morning Britain !

Geeeeeeeeze I just came on, I have missed something......just been catching up on this thread, and whats been going on in last few days with this one ? This young guy has been having a pop at our very good freind and loyal member

Ivor ???

He really did have a pop at Ivor di ba ? Good for you Ivor, sorted him out well and truly, this is what happens with flaming spirals, they just go on and on, but anyway, it looks like he has been dealt with, thats the problem with public asynchonous forums, you get these things from time to time, we always seem to get a run on them, then they stop for a while.

Next he will be having a pop at Keith...but then Keith is a scouser and thats not advisable !!!

Oh well....**** happens.

Pete

Admin

28th May 2006, 10:20

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif Pete.....Welcome to the Filipino UK Back in the Community Project style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

ginapeterb

28th May 2006, 11:00

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 28 2006, 10:20 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif Pete.....Welcome to the Filipino UK Back in the Community Project style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif
[/b][/quote]

Yeeeehey, welcome back Keith from his favourite stomping ground, the very hot and plush paradise of Singapore, I bet Keith has been cavorting around Sim Lim Square, where was it this time Keith ? The York ? tell us a bit about how it went, Hope you had a fantastic Hols there Keith, and Ate Ping is well ! I will leave a pm for you shortly, glad to have you back in the land of Taxes and charges,

WELCOME BACK !
Pete

deepete

28th May 2006, 12:02

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(admin @ May 27 2006, 12:21 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugher.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugher.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugher.gif

Guess who lives in a closet.....?? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Erm.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

Ageism is a form of racism.......I guess you style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_tonguew.gif over the BNP pics style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

I suppose Charles & Diana was disgusting.....?? It obviously caused everyone in the world to hate the selfish cow just looking to do anything to become a princess.....or maybe it was love? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Erm.gif
[/b][/quote]

Please feel free to ban me,so be it, I dont have anything in common with the sycophants on here anyway.

Sorry to offend you Rob as you were one person who came across as a decent guy,with a few others, and I changed my profile a few weeks ago after I was insulted by a couple of female members for supporting my country.

The scouse scally, the author of the above quote in his normal prose, also chose to put the boot in so I knew my time was up on here. Had some fun over the months, time to move on style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif

Admin

28th May 2006, 12:21

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete @ May 28 2006, 12:02 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Please feel free to ban me,so be it, I dont have anything in common with the sycophants on here anyway.

Sorry to offend you Rob as you were one person who came across as a decent guy,with a few others, and I changed my profile a few weeks ago after I was insulted by a couple of female members for supporting my country.

The scouse scally, the author of the above quote in his normal prose, also chose to put the boot in so I knew my time was up on here. Had some fun over the months, time to move on style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif
[/b][/quote]

Probably for the best, while we continue to enjoy our really full & successful lives style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif

kristleh

28th May 2006, 14:02

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepete @ May 28 2006, 11:02 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Please feel free to ban me,so be it, I dont have anything in common with the sycophants on here anyway.

Sorry to offend you Rob as you were one person who came across as a decent guy,with a few others, and I changed my profile a few weeks ago after I was insulted by a couple of female members for supporting my country.

The scouse scally, the author of the above quote in his normal prose, also chose to put the boot in so I knew my time was up on here. Had some fun over the months, time to move on style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Hellooo.gif
[/b][/quote]

Deepete, when you and I disagreed on some of the issues raised on the other thread, I did not changed my profile into "trying to argue with a particularly miserable man who believes that he is supporting his country by making the Philippines look bad." That's just way too childish. Respect begets respect. So I wonder why you're so bothered you were insulted.

You have a point regarding your reply to Euroasian's post but you should not generalize. That may be the case for some but not for everybody. Not all Filipinas do it for the money. Also, if you try to read carefully the posts in the threads, not everybody is going for Filipinas just because they find British women moneygrabbers, unideal, etc. If one poster said so, it does not mean everybody has the same sentiment.

And yes, it's really time for you to move on. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigcry.gif

Pauldo

28th May 2006, 16:04

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(kristleh @ May 28 2006, 02:02 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Deepete, when you and I disagreed on some of the issues raised on the other thread, I did not changed my profile into "trying to argue with a particular miserable man who believes that he is supporting his country by making the Philippines look bad." That's just way too childish. Respect begets respect. So I wonder why you're so bothered you were insulted.

You have a point regarding your reply to Euroasian's post but you should not generalize. That may be the case for some but not for everybody. Not all Filipinas do it for the money. Also, if you try to read carefully the posts in the threads, not everybody is going for Filipinas just because they find British women moneygrabbers, unideal, etc. If one poster said so, it does not mean everybody has the same sentiment.

And yes, it's really time for you to move on. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/bigcry.gif
[/b][/quote]

Bearing in mind the $hit he has just hung on UK guys and Filipinas in general, about insecurity and lack of basic social prowess, I guess Deepete has some pretty heavy emotional baggage of his own.

ivor&mel

28th May 2006, 22:36

Bearing in mind the $hit he has just hung on UK guys and Filipinas in general, about insecurity and lack of basic social prowess, I guess Deepete has some pretty heavy emotional baggage of his own.

The irony is that he made a post whinging about people being sensitive, then as soon as he gets a bit of flak about his "interests", he throws his rattles out the pram. I never really read his post on this thread thoroughly until now, but it's interesting to see him say "Funny though, love does seem to develope (sic) after a while". Yeah, funny that....

Eljohno

28th May 2006, 23:28

I know when i was using asawa website there were a few people who came on and posted very rude and judemental things just to get a reaction from people and it always seems to work.

I realise that there are both filipino women and white guys from Uk, USA etc who are joining these websites for the wrong reasons. There are filipinos who just want a passport and a better life and there are older men who just want to use and abuse young filipinos.

When two people fall in love then age or distance does not matter and neither should the opinions of some people who are intent on just annoying people and really have no life of there own. There is 12 years difference between Rhea & me and i realise that even for some people that can be a problem. I really wanted my friends and family to approve (which they did) but even if they had not then i would have been disappointed but it would not have changed things. If a stranger starts saying things that try to hurt then try not to let that succeed as their view is of no importance as there will always be people who are like that no matter what we do in life..

Ivor you have been a great help to others on this site and i really hope what has been said is taken with a pinch of salt and may you both enjoy your new found love style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif