Is he for real or reel?

[deepred]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Wave.gif

Just a quick story on long distance "relationship" which I am certain a few friendly people might find time to enlighten me with.

I have a friend of 3 years through the inet. I luckily met up with him in London only last year. It was a memorable weekend, like a culmination of my dream holiday. Since then, we have kept in touch practically everyday from the time he gets to work and gets back home through texting and chatting, and at times phoning. We share our bitter sweet journeys in life, problems as well as little milestones, worklife and families.One time, we both realized we were already having feelings for each other, "more than a friend but less than bf/gf," so he said. I have since reciprocated his everyday iloveyou&#39;s.

Yet I wondered if he has real interest on me or am i just put in a reel that rolls with locked-up emotions.

Once, he said he will not have to travel 5,000 miles just to be with someone, he is not moving elsewhere, and is not into cross-culture. For him a relationship is based on love and togetherness, thus, we do not have a relationship. I agreed with reservations. I feel that friendships can be nurtured into relationships even while apart and if you are meant for each other you will be together in time. Like most successful relationships.

Culturally, is he simply taking things slow yet sure or is it a subtle slap on my face that there isnt anything more than friendship to even think of?

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Erm.gif

[Admin]

Plenty more fish in the sea for you to reel in style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Grin.gif

Britons are not slow, but this one seams a little backward....maybe he&#39;s only allowed to use the PC while under supervision style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yikes.gif

Talking of slow.....usual chat up is......sex first.....if you get on, ask each others names.... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

[ervenescence]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Britons are not slow[/b][/quote]

I agree 101 % style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif




Originally posted by "deepred"
Once, he said he will not have to travel 5,000 miles just to be with someone, he is not moving elsewhere, and is not into cross-culture.

Can you see the obvious? Simple, he&#39;s not ready to commit yet.

[deepred]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Doh.gif I need more of these to wake me up&#33; LOL. I agree that Brits are not slow, i have a few friends and they are indeed fast and furious when they want someone real bad. But you know how its like when you fall for someone, you try to overlook the obvious and make believe he is just slooow. Thank you, anyway for putting a smile on my face Erve&#33;

Cynthia





<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ervenescence &#064; May 23 2006, 10&#58;01 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
I agree 101 % style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif
Can you see the obvious? Simple, he&#39;s not ready to commit yet.
[/b][/quote]

[ginapeterb]

Keith I thought it was like this &#33;

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Talking of slow.....usual chat up is......sex first.....if you get on, ask each others names.... [/b][/quote]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> Get quick flight out to Manila, get taxi down to Makati Palace, get in lift, go up to room and then some horizontal refreshment before going down for all you can eat buffet...........???? [/b][/quote]


Anyway, WHATS HIS PROBLEM ? Geeeeeze what does he need, in invitation from the Pangulo ?

[mrsfrivolity]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepred &#064; May 23 2006, 05&#58;40 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Once, he said he will not have to travel 5,000 miles just to be with someone, he is not moving elsewhere, and is not into cross-culture. For him a relationship is based on love and togetherness, thus, we do not have a relationship. I agreed with reservations. I feel that friendships can be nurtured into relationships even while apart and if you are meant for each other you will be together in time. Like most successful relationships.[/b][/quote]

When did he say this? People have ways to protect their emotions and if he had said this at the infancy of your relationship, it could be that it&#39;s only because he didn&#39;t have any strong feelings for you then. Three years is a long time to be involved with someone even if it&#39;s only "more than friends/not quite bf-gf". He must really like something about you to carry on with the long-distance friendship thing. You obviously like him too.

The question really is, what do you want? You do realize what it&#39;s going to cost you emotionally if you decide you&#39;ll keep hoping only to discover that no...he&#39;s not going to want you anymore than just friends?

[Pauldo]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(deepred &#064; May 23 2006, 05&#58;40 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
One time, we both realized we were already having feelings for each other, "more than a friend but less than bf/gf," so he said. I have since reciprocated his everyday iloveyou&#39;s.

[/b][/quote]

Ask him&#33; Ask him if you are just friends or is there more to it, and if you are just friends, tell him you want more than a friend in your life so you are going to have to look for a real partner. If that is indeed what you want.

You obviously want more from life than this chap has to offer, so clear things up, get it sorted, as I think you&#39;ll find he is just a waster.

[baboyako]

Sorry to sound harsh but the guy is NOT interested in you.

Brits are not slow, and filipinas are sexy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif . If you meet a British guy who is interested in you, you will only know about it VERY quicky style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif

[squareeyes]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(baboyako &#064; May 23 2006, 08&#58;36 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Sorry to sound harsh but the guy is NOT interested in you.

Brits are not slow, and filipinas are sexy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/BouncyHappy.gif . If you meet a British guy who is interested in you, you will only know about it VERY quicky style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif
[/b][/quote]

Not always - it may depend on what kind of man he is and what he is looking for. Obviously you&#39;re friends and have been for a while which may be an issue - there may also be something in his life which holds him back that you don&#39;t know about.

I&#39;ve known a few women where there was a &#39;spark&#39; between us (style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif) but it took months to work out for not very obvious reasons.

However, MOST British guys will let you know about it very quickly, but there are rare exceptions. Perhaps DeepRed you could ask him some discreet questions about how he feels? You seem to have covered things. From what he says, he sounds like he wants you to come running to him ("Once, he said he will not have to travel 5,000 miles just to be with someone, he is not moving elsewhere, and is not into cross-culture. For him a relationship is based on love and togetherness, thus, we do not have a relationship.") - ie, you are the one who has to travel, you have to adjust your culture, you have to etc, etc. Maybe he needs reassuring, but I think you&#39;re right in that if it&#39;s meant to be, it will happen. He&#39;s the man so let him do the driving - after all, you travelled over here to see him.

All the best

[deepred]

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Hi everyone&#33; Glad to hear from all of you although i sigh in disbelief that style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Dung.gif ...If its any consolation i smile at some of your comments.

True, most men are after style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif even long before feelings of style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cwm38.gif happens. And no you dont sound harsh BABOYAKO. Attraction was strong but i think style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sex.gif is not the be-all and end-all of it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

I still feel there is so much to unravel about him, BILL. 3 years is no guarantee you knew each other well. We have been apart and have only been together for a weekend. I also thought about his need of re-assurance esp that he knew what it took me to prove my love to my ex. One time he remarked, I wonder if you can do anything more than what you already did for him. And yes he has encouraged me to try my luck and work in UK yet it doesnt seem appealing as there is no relationship to make me feel secure. It wouldve been a huge risk.

I have bravely asked him, PAULDO. The answer was "not as much love as you hope for and deserve" and "one day we will have to really face what we feel." style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Brick.gif

MRS. FRIVOLITY he said it before we met, and yes even after we met. And reading all your comments only made me confirm what i really want. And yes it has been a bit draining emotionally I have to decide the soonest.

You have all been a great help, thanks&#33;

[mrsfrivolity]

You&#39;ll be fine darling, you&#39;ll see. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif