Hassle Free Filipina Relationships

[KeithD]

We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5 :doh

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice :Cuckoo:), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.

[joebloggs]

:icon_lol:

too late to save me :doh, i've been a baggage handler for years:cwm24:, but to the newbies save yourself :xxgrinning--00xx3:

:ARsurrender:

[keithAngel]

Im not sure there is any such thing as an unbagged Filipino if its not the kids
and parents its the 8 brothers and sisters and their kids lets face it we like a challenge and something to moan about with each other:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

Im not sure there is any such thing as an unbagged Filipino if its not the kids
The majority on here through the years have found them, and it is not difficult, as they are the majority. :Erm:

[kimmi]

The majority on here through the years have found them, and it is not difficult, as they are the majority. :Erm:



:Erm::Erm::Erm::Erm::Erm:

[joroco]

if its not the kids
and parents its the 8 brothers and sisters

[joroco]

Keith Angel. It's ten brothers and sisters with me, plus mama and papa. And they live ONLY TWO HUNDRED YARDS AWAY from us!!

[marylen]

ha ha ha right........but you guys still love your wife no matter, whatever or however............(includes me with my hubby) with baggage or not........GO......................coz LOVE find its own way ( yea right as its double, triple cost.....)))

inorder to solve...maybe don't let involve yourself into any relationship that lead to marriage after all........better to stay numb and quite..........but really mind can't dictate heart....................so no matter how many baggages man still go find to love that woman.

So does it mean my hubby spend only a minimum and easy cost to bring me then coz i don't have any baggage to bring at all ..ha ha ha .......oh hate it....i want to have one at least one baggage..................pity me.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[kimmi]

ha ha ha right........but you guys still love your wife no matter, whatever or however............(includes me with my hubby) with baggage or not........GO......................coz LOVE find its own way ( yea right as its double, triple cost.....)))

inorder to solve...maybe don't let involve yourself into any relationship that lead to marriage after all........better to stay numb and quite..........but really mind can't dictate heart....................so no matter how many baggages man still go find to love that woman.

So does it mean my hubby spend only a minimum and easy cost to bring me then coz i don't have any baggage to bring at all ..ha ha ha .......oh hate it....i want to have one at least one baggage..................pity me.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrr


I agree with u sis..:)
:icon_lol::icon_lol:

[Ady]

We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5 :doh

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice :Cuckoo:), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

[Ady]

I mean, is it OK for me to seek advice on this forum? Because I would hate to put anyone out. I'm sure some of you cuddled up watching Coronation Street with your Filipina wives were in need of advice and support at sometime. I'm sure that, in the days when a few thousand miles separated you from your new love, there were people telling you it was a bad idea. This forum would put you with people in a similar situation - but even then, your relationship is not free from the scrutiny of the masses that chose the "right" Filipina simply because she had no baggage. Maybe the "right" Filipina was the one that you turned away simply for having a kid. Maybe that is the relationship that would have made you happiest - and maybe that relationship would have been worth the extra effort?

After all, there are instances of young Filipinas running off with the first window cleaner they find, so you had better clean your own windows now my friends. And there are instances of the older man seeking a new younger model when the Filipina gets over the age of 25. So, better stop aging. Everything has it's risks. But, to be honest, I don't need anyone to tell me that this sort of relationship is tough. I kind of figured that out myself. What I need is people that can help me in the Visa process, Annulment process etc. But, if that is niggling at the administrators, I can go off and work that sort of thing out for myself.

[joebloggs]

After all, there are instances of young Filipinas running off with the first window cleaner they find, so you had better clean your own windows now my friends.

my misses has just been up a 25ft ladder painting the windows... :D

instances of british women running off with the milkman, husbands carrying on with their secretary..on and on it goes :NoNo:

[aromulus]

instances of british women running off with the milkman, :NoNo:


More like the Avon lady, nowadays.............:icon_lol:

[KeithD]

More like the Avon lady, nowadays.............:icon_lol:
Or a LibDem....the Cheeky Girl :yikes:

[joebloggs]

just my luck, we don't have a milkman or window cleaner :doh

not even a avon lady :NoNo:

[Sim11UK]

I guess the gist of this thread was, to put it simply, to save people a lot of time, hassle & money.

This maybe, very good advice to somebody, who suddenly finds their way on to this forum, with absolutely no idea of what they are getting themselves into.
...Cautionary advice, as opposed to don't do it.

The bit about niggling the long term members, hmmm not sure about that?, every story, is going to be different.

Ady, this thread has obviously hit a raw nerve with you. You seem to know what you want, so just don't take it personally & persue it till your end goal.
Just carry on listening, to the bits that you can learn from & ignore the bits which don't affect you, or p**s you off!...Many more, will follow & some will be as headstrong as you.
Share what you can with others.

People are always going to have their own ideas & opinions & on a public forum, that is what you are encouraged to do...It's what a forum is.
I occasionally find myself, like most on here, I should imagine, having to bite my lip, at some comment or other & although, we are all here for the same goal, circumstances differ widely.

[Piamed]

Hi Ady

I believe that this thread was started to help people. We all have differing ways of writing, expressing our thoughts and use of tone. This variety is what makes a forum such as this of potential use to a wide audience. Additionally, enlightenment is derived from putting ones 'issue' out there and receiving contrasting views and thoughts by return.

You have found a lady that you love and that is a very great thing in itself :icon_win:. A good heart is hard to find. There are some circumstances surrounding your relationship that other visitors/members may be unaware of and benefit from a perspective on. That these perspectives may be offensive to you is unfortunate and I'm sure unintended. As I alluded to earlier in my post, the audience is varied and thus the posts are correspondingly so.

I believe sim11UK gave good advice :xxgrinning--00xx3:. Select out what you need and find helpful and ignore all the rest. We all find things on here that we disagree with or find uncomfortable. I have had that conversation with my wife several times. Similarly, I'm certain that we all post things that not everyone is onboard with. That is to be expected. But overall, I believe there is enough on here to potentially help everyone. I imagine you do too.

I would like to further express my thoughts on a couple of things. I notice that on several posts you highlight the sentiment that you are "not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. [but are] attracted to beautiful girls". I believe that both types of attraction are valid and none is better than the other.

You expressed your thoughts that "It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage" I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone having a preference for a Filipina or any other key characteristic of a partner. The key thing is that they love each other irrespective of what brought them together. I think that aligns with your own thoughts too.

Are the divorce laws in the Philippines Draconian or indeed in any way militaristic? I can understand how someone wanting a divorce to occur might suggest they are as the law as it stands does not readily suit their purpose. Many observers consider our own western divorce laws Draconian. I guess it depends on ones situation and thus bias. Hmmn!

I do agree with you wholeheartedly that you should distance yourself from stupid and bigoted people who seek to undermine and disrespect your partner :angry:. I guess that anyone who will enter a relationship with a Filipina or many other women of particular nationalities will encounter ignorant people who make mindless jibes :xxangry-smiley-038:. I acknowledge too that many Filipinas will also experience jibes from jealous people accusing them of being gold-diggers etc. We all face stupidity. For me stupidity of the highest order in addition to a suicidal tendency will be displayed by anyone who disrespects my rib :NoNo:. You’ve been warned :xxsport-smiley-002:I'm also at the gun range twice a week and am licensed to correct attitudes :NEW4: :D

Please note that I'm in a hotel in Denmark at the moment and hearing sounds from next door that are not helping right now...so please bear with me if I seem a tad...err...agitated! :23_111_9[1]:

Seriously though, I genuinely wish you the best in your pursuit of happiness as does everyone here. May He continue to bless you both as you go forward.

[aromulus]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

[keithAngel]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

I agree with you Dom and I also understood completely what sentiments prompted Adys response .

Speaking as one who has embarked already I was shocked to learn that it was not only the Emotional and Practical issues I was engaging with my Girl but the "Baggage" of the Catholic Church and Philippine State in relation to "Adultery" not to mention the double standards talked about here in relation to what may be ok as a Filipino male to practice but not as a woman.

The feeling of being open to State abuse and corruption is much more worrying than simply engaging with my Ladies past and child, I knew all about that from the begining.

I for one am not happy to "support " corrupt practices especialy when by doing so they tend to encourage the continuation of basic human rights abuse as far as I can see paying for an annulment almost invariably requires perjury and to get it quickly bribery.

I would rather pay a bit more to find a way around this and not join in

[Alan]

I believe that Bertha from Cleethorpes is still free. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Al.:)

[lonelyheart]

I agree with u sis..:)
:icon_lol::icon_lol:

there is nothing better than having a large family the more the better, than again many people over here find that difficult, take the best of the cultures.


My father has passed away bless his soul, I now look after my mother it is my
obligation and duty, when i was still with my wife i appreciated the family culture thing, it is something i do not want to loose.

Yes it can be a pain wit brothers and sisters or cousins, but better than growing old alone or being abandoned by your kids


but than again many of my mates want their privacy and freedom from the baggage, it is just a matter of perspective !!:NoNo:

[gracia143]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

That's a very good way of putting it Dom. I must admit I got a bit upset reading this post, I mean I do know Keith's sense of humour by now but this one was said in a quite serious manner. He's got a point there though, I wouldn't advise brothers or sisters or friends to get into a serious relationship with a person that has got extra baggages but don't we all deserve a second chance? Don't we all deserve to be happy? I and my husband went through a lot of troubles, defying odds, fighting the government so I can get a Visa to visit him, the annulment, and then there's the fiance' visa which took ages and I had to go to the embassy and give them a piece of my mind before they can release the 'damn thing', then there's the baggage issue on his side when I finally got here. But to sum it all up, I'd do the same thing again if given the chance to start all over.

I don't know, yeah maybe this thread will help other people to avoid getting into a serious relationship with a baggageless person, I hope.

[joebloggs]

good to see you back gracia, thought you might have been deported :D with your temper :Rasp:

your right thou, my misses had more baggage than terminal 5, easy to walk away, and look for an easier path. but at the end of your journey you look back and think we got thru the hard times, didn't sway from the path, oh hang on is this part of an obama speech :rolleyes:

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it :doh

[gracia143]

good to see you back gracia, thought you might have been deported :D with your temper :Rasp:

your right thou, my misses had more baggage than terminal 5, easy to walk away, and look for an easier path. but at the end of your journey you look back and think we got thru the hard times, didn't sway from the path, oh hang on is this part of an obama speech :rolleyes:

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it :doh

Hi Joe! I'm not deported yet, I may have a temper but I know how to control myself. I'm on here most of the time still but I often chose to just read and observe rather than post. I've been keeping myself busy with two jobs (and Uni) as like all of us are already aware of, Filipinas have loads of baggages with them even when you married them as 'single'. When I arrived I had to find ways to support them from day one...the whole clan, the whole barangay and sometimes even friends. I work but most of my salary ends up being given back to the Phils., one time the guy from PNB told me off saying I should leave something for myself. Maybe one day I will learn to harden my heart and not give in to their wishes? For now, I have no answer to that but Trev has been very understanding and always being very supportive, I still consider myself lucky he has chosen me despite the baggage which I didn't kept secret when we first met.

[gracia143]

oh hang on is this part of an obama speech :rolleyes:

that's funny:D

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

I admire these kind of men. Thanks Joe! Hope your wife and kids are doing well.:Hellooo:

[somebody]

One of the greatest things of this site is reading seeing amazing relationships with every possible obstacle in the way in the end manage it. But for every couple that make im sure plenty dont for various reasons.

As many have said in various ways in the last few days in particular if its meant to be it will happen in the end.

[joebloggs]

oh hang on is this part of an obama speech :rolleyes:

that's funny:D

all i can say, if they mean so much to you, then they will do anything to be with you, and if they will not, then they are not worth it

I admire these kind of men. Thanks Joe! Hope your wife and kids are doing well.:Hellooo:

yes were all ok. i've got the extra baggage of being a grand dad now :doh, :icon_lol: with a beautiful grand daugther, we should be a bag lighter soon, we've nearly got thru my misses cousin whos doing nursing at uni, hell the kid deserves a break, really hard life, no parents :NoNo:

good your doing uni, keep it up, there is light at the end to the tunnel
regards to you and hubby :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gracia143]

One of the greatest things of this site is reading seeing amazing relationships with every possible obstacle in the way in the end manage it. But for every couple that make im sure plenty dont for various reasons.

As many have said in various ways in the last few days in particular if its meant to be it will happen in the end.

You're absolutely right Somebody.

Glad your family is expanding Joe, congratulations! It's tough having an extended family but it pays off I think. It makes me really pleased with myself when I am sending something, sometimes I get abused and they keep asking more and more but I am learning to say no now although not often.

[joebloggs]

You're absolutely right Somebody.

Glad your family is expanding Joe, congratulations! It's tough having an extended family but it pays off I think. It makes me really pleased with myself when I am sending something, sometimes I get abused and they keep asking more and more but I am learning to say no now although not often.

:xxgrinning--00xx3: good for you, even my misses is telling her family, no now, you've got to look after your family here to :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Jay&Zobel]

Replies are so amazing!!!

[Alan]

You're absolutely right Somebody.

Glad your family is expanding Joe, congratulations! It's tough having an extended family but it pays off I think. It makes me really pleased with myself when I am sending something, sometimes I get abused and they keep asking more and more but I am learning to say no now although not often.

Be like me Grace - skint!:bigcry:

Al.:)

[SurvivingAngel]

We've had a lot of folk passing through here over the years, and one thing that niggles a lot of the long term member's are those that pick women with more baggage than Terminal 5 :doh

Now these relationships can, and do work out fine, no problem with that. But why get heavily involved with the first Filipina you find, which is the case most of the time, and before you know it you are sending money over every month, paying out £1000's for an annulment, which can take 2 years in some case, have to figure out how to get the kids here, or pay for the schooling in the Phil......the list can go on.

Or you can talk to a few Filipina's as friends, find out which ones have no baggage, you do have the choice of 10,000's of them, so you must be able to find ONE!!

It is much easier, cheaper and quicker to get a visa, and your women to the UK if she is not already married, does not have kids, etc. You can get it all done in a few months for the minimum cost.

Now their is nothing wrong with Filipina ladies with baggage, we all have some, I have enough to fill an A380 (twice :Cuckoo:), but keep it in mind about what you are getting yourself into.


Well, I guess it depends on the woman too. If she is a lazy, couch potato gal who does nothing but wait until the next remittance arrives, then men who get this kind are, I believe, unlucky.

I am a teacher, teaching both English and Cebuano, making a living, and not depending on my man. I just had my annulment process started 2 months ago at my own expense. And my man is not sending me a monthly allowance.

[Florge]

oh my... my fiance is so so lucky to have me then... no baggage whatsoever.. even with cousins or the clan... lucky bloke! LOL

[pennybarry]

When I was looking for a man to marry, my criteria is: NO BAGGAGE:D

He must have no children below 18 but widower with infant maybe alright

Hubby was the same looking for a lady without baggage.:omg:


He must be lucky having me too:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tawi2]

I would never call my kid "Baggage",besides if your placing a list of criteria is that leading to genuine love?Genuine love has no limits surely?:Erm:

[SurvivingAngel]

I would never call my kid "Baggage",besides if your placing a list of criteria is that leading to genuine love?Genuine love has no limits surely?:Erm:

Exactly! Loving someone genuinely is like having a package deal, loving both good and bad, desirable and undesirable, accepting everything about the person.

I would say this is just how I see what loving someone means.

If he snored in bed, because you love him, it would sound like music to your ears. If he got too busy to take shower, you would find him having the natural smell, not revolting. If he farted in front of the airconditioner, you would just say, "Oh Honey, you couldn't hold it much longer, but it's ok." If he called you stupid, you would just say, "That's why I love you!"

I am a Filipina and I will love my man till the end.

[Sophie]

If he called you stupid,

beat the crap out of him :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: you don't let your man call you stupid and get away with it :NoNo:

[Tawi2]

I dont know about the utot part surviving angel :Erm: But the internet is an artificial environment in which to meet someone,I would never stipulate no baggage,whats the classification of "Baggage"?Kids?Kids rent baggage,kids are blessings,they are the cogs in the machine,the cement that binds the bricks together,the wheels that make the bike go forward :icon_lol:If your ruling out "Baggage" then your placing a check-list on love,and isnt love about electricity,spark,instant attraction?Ever been in a market place,caught someones eye,held the gaze for longer than normal and felt a shiver?Thats attraction,its an undefinable quality,the animal magnetism that leads to love :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[SurvivingAngel]

beat the crap out of him :icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol: you don't let your man call you stupid and get away with it :NoNo:

It's just one of my examples, Sophie. It does not necessarily mean that he did call me stupid.

[Florge]

I dont know about the utot part surviving angel :Erm: But the internet is an artificial environment in which to meet someone,I would never stipulate no baggage,whats the classification of "Baggage"?Kids?Kids rent baggage,kids are blessings,they are the cogs in the machine,the cement that binds the bricks together,the wheels that make the bike go forward :icon_lol:If your ruling out "Baggage" then your placing a check-list on love,and isnt love about electricity,spark,instant attraction?Ever been in a market place,caught someones eye,held the gaze for longer than normal and felt a shiver?Thats attraction,its an undefinable quality,the animal magnetism that leads to love :xxgrinning--00xx3:

ahhhh... Tawi... truly poetic... ideal... great mind... you must be shakespeare's reincarnation :Cuckoo:

[aromulus]

If he farted in front of the airconditioner,
.


Sounds like first hand experience.......:doh

In front of the Aircon, huh...???

It takes "Sharing" to new and unexplored dizzy heights....:icon_lol:

[SurvivingAngel]

Sounds like first hand experience.......:doh

In front of the Aircon, huh...???

It takes "Sharing" to new and unexplored dizzy heights....:icon_lol:

Hahahahahaha.... It's true, ask him, hahahahaha.... Keith, peace???

[Sophie]

It's just one of my examples, Sophie. It does not necessarily mean that he did call me stupid.

I know :) This is also one of my example, more of an advice to women if ever their men call them stupid, there should be consequences so men are not encouraged to do it again. :)

[lordfortesque]

it will succeed if you want it to, love will always find a way. trust in your love for her and
her love for you

[nigel]

It doesn't matter what baggage (I would use the word 'challenges') your partner has, have optimism in everything you do. Optimism takes you everywhere, pessimism takes you nowhere!:rolleyes:

[Tawi2]

If your with your woman in the supermarket or airport and she is struggling what do you do?You carry her baggage because she is your woman,similarly in life if she is your woman you accept whoever and whatever she is or was,thats a better choice of word Nigel.....Challenges :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[trader dave]

i said i would never get married again i also said i would not take on an english women with a kid ,and i still maintain that :xxgrinning--00xx3: but i am getting married in june and my babe has a 3 year old that thinks i am his dad :Erm::Erm: so how much baggage is a little 3 year old filipino boy ?????

I DONT SUBSCRIBE TO THIS OOOOO IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT love is something that you build it either grows or it does not and well if the women had lots of baggage nothing would grow SORRY

But i also understand the context of the original post :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3: all i will say is theres plenty of cherries on the tree:icon_lol:

[womaninlove]

One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list.


If the guy tell me such thing I'll be gone quick! very discouraging to hear that. he sounds like a guy who has a self esteem issue. only a loser guy who talks like that to a woman.:yikes::cwm23::furious3::action-smiley-081: did he really think these Asian women in his list likes him because he's handsome,young and a good hearted? or these women just like him because of the green card, easy ticket to US?



even a guy in a wheel chair can have a young and pretty woman from the third world countries.

[mommyhere]

You can't really help who you fall in love with.

But if the person you love carries baggage, and you are not prepared to accept this, then you have no business in starting a relationship with that person.

So in a sense it is matter of being mature and committed enough to enbark on such a relationship.

The baggage lady??
its ur choice and decision..

It's either you take it, accept and live with it or simply..:Brick::Brick:
just leave it...:ARsurrender:

Go figure..

[eleazebonares]

Or, valternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

your partner is very lucky.i got 2 kids,im 22..and my partner isnt responsible.thats why im not foreseeing any future with him. Btw,we're not married. But im not here to meet a brit guy wit mucho dinero,im here 'cos i applied for a student visa.well basically my point is that,single moms dont look for love wit foreigners mainly so their economic stat would improve,its just that some filipino men are dumb-and we dont wana live like that anymore.then we move on. I dunno,i just wanna say it.

[wachovia]

Im not sure there is any such thing as an unbagged Filipino if its not the kids
and parents its the 8 brothers and sisters and their kids lets face it we like a challenge and something to moan about with each other:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Of course there are!!! Single, no kids, no responsibility in the Philippines, not to mention, doesn't need British men to enter the UK. :Rasp:

[blackcatbone]

thing is you cant help who you fall for and in my case for the older guy i would feel very uneasy getting involved with someone very much younger than myself and i cant think of anyone that i know thats near my own age that has no baggage just my observation in my case i'm not saying that a older guy with a younger girl is wrong but for me it is i want to have something in common with my mahal :D

[grahamw48]

As for me....I just lurrrve those young Fillys, and wouldn't dream of chasing someone anywhere near my own age .:yikes:

[januscarl]

thing is you cant help who you fall for and in my case for the older guy i would feel very uneasy getting involved with someone very much younger than myself and i cant think of anyone that i know thats near my own age that has no baggage just my observation in my case i'm not saying that a older guy with a younger girl is wrong but for me it is i want to have something in common with my mahal :D

your perception is correct but not all young filipinas will feel uneasiness with older men. Some of them may choose older men because they would think older men will seriously take the relationship. If only you will know that philippine brides (http://www.introasia.com/) don't choose a man, then for sure you're perception towards younger women will change.

[briancol]

im just back from the Phills,less than 3 weeks now. im met her online and went to see her after just 6 weeks,we stayed in the same hotel room,same bed (without sex) shes a born again christian, (and i wasnt there looking for sex) exactly what i looked for,she 38 years old,exactly what i looked for,i had offers from young things online but im a realist,im 59 what would a 20 year old want with me,i wasnt prepared to take the risk,anyway, we liked each other before the 15 days was over,and plan to get married,we are both adults,its no one business but ours,and no shes not the most beautiful philippina ive ever seen but i like her,personality,physic,looks. she has no baggage that concerns me.why im telling this i dont know,except someone at the top of this thread says dont go for the first one you meet/see,y not? if your happy with each other. we are.

[keithAngel]

im just back from the Phills,less than 3 weeks now. im met her online and went to see her after just 6 weeks,we stayed in the same hotel room,same bed (without sex) shes a born again christian, (and i wasnt there looking for sex) exactly what i looked for,she 38 years old,exactly what i looked for,i had offers from young things online but im a realist,im 59 what would a 20 year old want with me,i wasnt prepared to take the risk,anyway, we liked each other before the 15 days was over,and plan to get married,we are both adults,its no one business but ours,and no shes not the most beautiful philippina ive ever seen but i like her,personality,physic,looks. she has no baggage that concerns me.why im telling this i dont know,except someone at the top of this thread says dont go for the first one you meet/see,y not? if your happy with each other. we are.

Ah an interesting post which explains your interest in the Marriage process

Did you also meet the family and visit her home? What does she do for her living?:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Dedworth]

Ah an interesting post which explains your interest in the Marriage process

Did you also meet the family and visit her home? What does she do for her living?:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Totally irrelevant questions and comments it is up to briancol and I think he explained it quite clearly on post # 55

[keithAngel]

I oftenly find like Brian a question or two expands my understanding of course no one needs answer Dead about anything they dont want to.

Brian and I have been engaged in a few questions and answers this week on another thread

Thanks for your imput:D

[gWaPito]

You 2 are so funny :D

[keithAngel]

You 2 are so funny :D

I know :icon_lol:

[Arthur Little]

im just back from the Phills,less than 3 weeks now. im met her online and went to see her after just 6 weeks,we stayed in the same hotel room,same bed (without sex) shes a born again christian, (and i wasnt there looking for sex) exactly what i looked for,she 38 years old,exactly what i looked for,i had offers from young things online but im a realist,im 59 what would a 20 year old want with me,i wasnt prepared to take the risk,anyway, we liked each other before the 15 days was over,and plan to get married, we are both adults,its no one business but ours ,and no shes not the most beautiful philippina ive ever seen but i like her,personality,physic,looks. she has no baggage that concerns me.why im telling this i dont know,except someone at the top of this thread says dont go for the first one you meet/see,y not? if your happy with each other. we are.

Correct, Brian ... you're both mature and responsible adults - apart from which, the pair of you have exercised remarkable restraint in the sexual stakes!! There's nothing really I can add to the advice you've already received on this and other threads ... except to :welcomex: you to the forum and extend my very best wishes with your plans for a happy future together. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

I have to agree with Keith's starting post. Life is hard enough as it is without making it harder for yourself. Its made all the easier with this internet dating. You know what you are getting before you fall for them. Or take the advice of Graham 48 and find yourself an orphan :D The women can do likewise, is he single divorced does he have a job Does he have kids etc etc. Is he in a position to get me a visa. Its a two way thing, not just for the guys. We are all responsible for our actions.

[briancol]

Ah an interesting post which explains your interest in the Marriage process

Did you also meet the family and visit her home? What does she do for her she came home just b4 christmas for an 8 week break,thats the reason i went tpliving?:xxgrinning--00xx3:

i met her older sister, whos home she stays in,because she/my g/f has been working in Saudi for the last 7 years,as a domestic,she came home to the phills just b4 christmas 2010 for an 8 week break (the first time home in those 7 years) thats thr reason i went to the phills when i did,so we could meet up, she was supposed to go back to saudi at the beginning of Feb this year, i and her sister asked her not to go back cause if she did she would have to stay there for another 2 years,she didnt go back. ive also met her nephew and neice,thats all the family she has in Butuan, except for an odd aunt or cousin or whatever,shes actually comes from Koronadal. but no i didnt go to the sisters house in Butuan. they came to the hotel.

[keithAngel]

Not far from my missus who was born in Parang Magindanoa Its brilliant Brian as you say no baggage to hold you up and your good lady is able to travel easily as shes been away 8 years already and she is a worker and independant no dependants almost as good as an orphan:icon_lol:

[briancol]

not far from my missus who was born in parang magindanoa its brilliant brian as you say no baggage to hold you up and your good lady is able to travel easily as shes been away 8 years already and she is a worker and independant no dependants almost as good as an orphan:icon_lol:

lol.

[Queenbee]

Amen!!!But just like to clarify boss Keith not all filipina women let their fiance pay for everything---annulment,kids and family n the phil...I remember i had to pay fpr my annulment,work abroad for me n my kid.Im quite lucky to have amazing parents brought me up well n taught me that you have to be independent n never be a burden to someone.I do think it depends on the person and how ure brought up...

[Queenbee]

Exactly it also applies to the man a filipina is dating from the UK




I have to agree with Keith's starting post. Life is hard enough as it is without making it harder for yourself. Its made all the easier with this internet dating. You know what you are getting before you fall for them. Or take the advice of Graham 48 and find yourself an orphan :D The women can do likewise, is he single divorced does he have a job Does he have kids etc etc. Is he in a position to get me a visa. Its a two way thing, not just for the guys. We are all responsible for our actions.

[gWaPito]

Nice one Queen Bee. Good to see you again. I know many fil lady have led there man up the garden path, the same can be said about the man, giving false hope, when in fact they nothing to offer, thus leading to heart ache all around.

[Queenbee]

Amen!!!!




i mean, is it ok for me to seek advice on this forum? Because i would hate to put anyone out. I'm sure some of you cuddled up watching coronation street with your filipina wives were in need of advice and support at sometime. I'm sure that, in the days when a few thousand miles separated you from your new love, there were people telling you it was a bad idea. This forum would put you with people in a similar situation - but even then, your relationship is not free from the scrutiny of the masses that chose the "right" filipina simply because she had no baggage. Maybe the "right" filipina was the one that you turned away simply for having a kid. Maybe that is the relationship that would have made you happiest - and maybe that relationship would have been worth the extra effort?

After all, there are instances of young filipinas running off with the first window cleaner they find, so you had better clean your own windows now my friends. And there are instances of the older man seeking a new younger model when the filipina gets over the age of 25. So, better stop aging. Everything has it's risks. But, to be honest, i don't need anyone to tell me that this sort of relationship is tough. I kind of figured that out myself. What i need is people that can help me in the visa process, annulment process etc. But, if that is niggling at the administrators, i can go off and work that sort of thing out for myself.

[Queenbee]

Amen!!!

[Queenbee]

Totally agree!:)

[Queenbee]

Good to be back again!;)Was quite busy with things..Anywayzzz the bottomline is both of you love each other genuinely,whatever your background is.Every person has issues,we're all not perfect.Anywayzzz hope you guys are all well!Missed a lot of pips hre.:)Its gonna be my third time to go back to the UK but this time fiance.Mr Gwapito should i use the VAF1F form for that????



Nice one Queen Bee. Good to see you again. I know many fil lady have led there man up the garden path, the same can be said about the man, giving false hope, when in fact they nothing to offer, thus leading to heart ache all around.

[gWaPito]

I got no idea QueenBee Im using a hand held device at the moment, its not as quick as my pc at home, in fact its a total dog of a tool, otherwise I would have a look for you:D. Hopefully another member could do you the honours. God bless!:D:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[gWaPito]

Good news you are getting the FV this time around, at least you both made sure its the right thing to do :xxgrinning--00xx3: I think the 6 months to make your mind up is way too short a time period. It can be hard enough adjusting to eachothers ways, let alone the adjustment from being away from home and family. I hope it all works out for you Queenbee :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

Wow.... threads had over 6000 views :cwm24:

[KeithD]

Can you move this to another thread.... this is a STICKY and not a thread for problems.

[KeithD]

Start a NEW thread this is not a discussion thread, all none relevant posts will be deleted. Thank you. :doh

[raynaputi]

I already moved the posts regarding CNI to this thread http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php/30969-CNI-Questions :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Filipinamom]

Keith Angel. It's ten brothers and sisters with me, plus mama and papa. And they live ONLY TWO HUNDRED YARDS AWAY from us!!

wow!

[Filipinamom]

Ady, I just want to hug you. You are so right in every word!
:Hellooo::Hellooo:

[sheriel]

I am trully amazed,reading the replies,for me Filipina ladies are the best and most trustworthy in the World. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[grahamw48]

'Anything you say may be taken down and given in evidence'...at a later date. :icon_lol:

There's good and bad everywhere. ;)

[Terpe]

I am trully amazed,reading the replies,for me Filipina ladies are the best and most trustworthy in the World. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Based on..............:Erm:

[KeithD]

Especially the ones that have scammed members here over the years :doh

[Tawi2]

I am trully amazed,reading the replies,for me Filipina ladies are the best and most trustworthy in the World.
Have you dated different women from different nationalities to compare?Your words suggest not :icon_lol: pinays are as devious,scheming,and scamming as any other women on the face of the planet,women are women,pinays arent a seperate sub-species ;)

[tiger31]

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.amen brother im in the same boat

[joebloggs]

many of us on here have not had an easy ride, but we get there in the end :rolleyes:

giving up can be the easy option sometimes:D

[EdmondDantes]

I wonder, why most of you guys interested to marry a married person? There is alot of single woman there who are still innocents and has no baggage.

This is only my point of view...if you plan to marry the married person(I mean woman) ...I think its much better if you check first her marriage life history. If she is honest on her marriage to her husband or not (infidelity issues). To avoid any heartache and headache in the future.

[grahamw48]

MOST of us guys ? :Erm:

Don't think so.

...but I appreciate your point of view.

I'm less inclined to get involved with a Filipina who is either still 'separated' or who already has children...simply because I can do without the extra hassle in my old age.

Done that already.

[tiger31]

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

well said that man may I just add that a philippina that has had a rough relationship in the past and cant afford to escape her previous husband has a right to be happy like anybody else blame the catholic church for that nonsense

[grahamw48]

well said that man may I just add that a philippina that has had a rough relationship in the past and cant afford to escape her previous husband has a right to be happy like anybody else blame the catholic church for that nonsense

I totally agree on that. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[zaxy]

I think best to know your girl well before marriage.

I mean I bet many spoken to their gf and met online and talked 6 to 1 year before meeting them. I think you really need to meet them more than a few times to spend time witht the 1 you love to make sure she the right woman and see their life in the philippines. I wouldn't see my gf life how hard she works if i stayed in a hotel.

I always stayed at my gf house when im in the phillippines as i want to know her way of life and how hard she works and does things sure not comfortable bathing with no hot water lol damn bathing in cold water sure hated that and living poor. I shall be watching her teach in october can't wait to see her how she teach disabled kids and meet her parents who are in other province been with her for 3 yrs now and still need to know alot more about her before deciding on marrying her :) and she also needs know me more even though she wants marry me and said she sure about me.

[grahamw48]

I think you're very wise in your approach Zaxy.
Chatting on the internet is soooo different to being in each other's company, and the sooner that can be arranged the better. Oh and yes, it's so much more fun staying with the family...if you have the right attitude. :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[zaxy]

Thanks graham want my gf to meet my parents in uk before we decide marriage hope things work out for us :)

[grahamw48]

Yeah....best of luck mate.

I reckon the secret is to treat the relationship just as you would any other....regardless of where your lady is from. Keep the rose-coloured specs in your pocket. ;)

[hawk]

wish my fiancee was a mail order bride as am working for dhl it would be cheap to get her here in a nice packing case much cheaper then visa :laugher::laugher::laugher:

[Sailor_JT]

mm after reading this I think me and my wife must be odd, we met online and found friendship, when we met we found each other in a way I could never have imagined. Since then we got married, had a wonderful son, had wonderful time with each other. I have a huge extended family which I love, with people from a culture I love, my son adores his cousins. My wife likes my family. We are blissfully happy some seven years after we met, six years after we married and five years after our son was born. The future looks awesome (apart from our crap economic climate) and we are looking forward to going home to be sponsors for my wifes niece in Pampanga. Altogether quite brilliant, hence I am wondering if we are odd, we got nothing to moan about.

[lastlid]

wish my fiancee was a mail order bride as am working for dhl it would be cheap to get her here in a nice packing case much cheaper then visa :laugher::laugher::laugher:

Yeah. DHL her across....:xxgrinning--00xx3: :icon_lol:

[grahamw48]

mm after reading this I think me and my wife must be odd, we met online and found friendship, when we met we found each other in a way I could never have imagined. Since then we got married, had a wonderful son, had wonderful time with each other. I have a huge extended family which I love, with people from a culture I love, my son adores his cousins. My wife likes my family. We are blissfully happy some seven years after we met, six years after we married and five years after our son was born. The future looks awesome (apart from our crap economic climate) and we are looking forward to going home to be sponsors for my wifes niece in Pampanga. Altogether quite brilliant, hence I am wondering if we are odd, we got nothing to moan about.

That's good to hear.

Very similar to my own story and relationship ...until year 12.

Keep doing what you're doing, but never take each other or that lovely relationship for granted. :)

I sincerely wish you and your loved ones all the best in the future. It sounds like you've made a great start.

[zaxy]

I'm hoping i can have kids of my own but well this day age hard to afford kids.

[HACHE]

Just having a browse here on this thread after having posted my own threads in my situation.
Hassle free?? No way, my relationship has been a roller coaster. Very high highs, and very low lows. Personally I prefer things on a more consistent level.
I'm with the most attentative girl I've ever met, but if I miss saying the right thing, the right way, there's all hell to pay.

In my mind for any relationship to work, and last long term, is basically you've both got to want it, and you HAVE to know each other well. All this "love conqueres all" stuff isn't enough in the real world sometimes and, well, if you iritate the hell out of each other when you have issues, you constantly misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusions, that love will soon be chipped away, resentment sets in and you're then on a slippery slope.....

[chiechie]

Or, alternatively, you could find a girlfriend in the UK? I mean, if you want absolutely NO HASSLE - BRITISH GIRLS DONT NEED A VISA. Maybe an old school friend, a work colleague, go speed dating?

My girlfriend I chose because of who she is. I knew full well that she had a kid, that she was separated from her husband, and that it would be a lengthy process to get her to the UK. I wish so deeply that she was in the UK already - that she wasn't a resident of a country with Draconian marriage laws. She made bad choices in her life - we all have - but she didn't choose to be abandoned, and she didn't choose to be Filipina and have no right to divorce.

It seems that some people here chose their wife simply for being a Filipina. And then they decide to take the moral high ground when advising us about getting girls with baggage. I have met resistance amongst my friends for the relationship I am now in. Those people are no longer my friends - racist jibes about Mail Order Brides pee me off. This board is an oasis, but there are some prejudices here too. "Don't go with married woman" - despite the fact that she has been abandoned to bring up a young daughter on 1500 pesos a week.

Actually, Sheila was the first Filipina I spoke to. But, to be honest, I was not looking for a Filipina girlfriend. We met at a time when my father was recovering from a life saving operation. We feared that he would die. I met Sheila, and she helped me through that tough time. Then, within two months, I was pressured at work, having to travel 200 miles daily to Lichfield, and being threatened with being locked in an office until my work was completed. How I would have coped without someone to talk to as a friend, that Sheila was at that time, I would never know. A nervous breakdown seemed possible, according to my parents.

It doesn't matter to me if Sheila is married, has kids, is Filipina, is British. I looked much deeper than that. And she looked deeper too. She had friends in the net before - that were attracted to her simply for being Filipina. She appreciated that I didn't have that "Asian fetish" that disgusts her. One guy, an American, declared his love to her - but warned her that she would have to be quick because he had many Asian girls on his list. That is, to be honest, pathetic. In fact, she asked me if I was attracted to Asians like all the other guys she knew before. I can honestly say I am not attracted to Asians, Filipinas. I am attracted to beautiful girls, I am only human, regardless of skin colour. But I always choose my girlfriends based on personality, and intelligence. She is, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.

We both know it is going to be hard - expensive, timely. I know you are just making advice, but please remember, we are not all pigeon-holed as guys that want a Filipina as a wife only. If things went wrong for me and Sheila (it is possible, but we are fighting for it not to be) I will continue to support her financially, especially her daughter's education - because I love her daughter too. I won't go hunting for another Filipina, because I am not that way inclined.

Sorry for the outburst, but everywhere I look people are telling me I am wasting my time for something that will not succeed.

my first question to my husband when i fell in love with him was "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE BRITISH?" because i am well aware of how we asians-Filipinas are thought of generally. being married to a "foreigner" comes with a great price too...in the Philippines our fellow Filipinos often think that either we have become prostitutes abroad or we went about sleeping around with "foreigners" and that's how we managed to snag a "white" husband. to be honest, my husband is my FIRST and only boyfriend ^_^ (before anyone in the forum thinks "she must be ugly" -well my husband says i'm beautiful and that's all that matters ^_^). i agree with you Ady, my husband could pretty well be an alien from another planet but he is the PERSON i fell inlove with! we started talking online as well and did not bother to ask for each other's photos until about we were ready to meet up. we fell in love with each other's personality-the physical attraction did not seem to matter, i guess in our case it just came as a bonus that we love how each other looks like when we finally met. my husband knew everything about me because we started out as being best buddies before falling in love and i told him what other people in the philippines might think of me when we go back. my family and friends will be fine because they all know me but other people would definitely talk and speculate about how we ended up together. my husband was the one who told me that it does not bother him even if people in the philippines talk about him, its ME he married and we love each other so he does not care---see, marriage with a Filipina maybe a baggage to foreigners but we have to deal with our own people too, im not saying that filipinos are judgmental but there is a certain view on how the philippine society sees filipinas with foreign husbands so its not necessarily a walk in the park on our part as well but that's how love should be isn't it? you give and you take, you share in the happiness and the sorrow, you become each other's strength...and sorry i ramble too much here ^_^ i'm not even sure if i should be in this thread i was just randomly reading and couldn't help but comment >_< sorry if i offend anyone!

[grahamw48]

Actually I think you have written a very interesting and heart-warming post chiechie

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I don't think that most of us Brits regard our Filipina partners as 'baggage' though...rather a definite (if slightly small and cuddly) asset. :icon_lol:

[chiechie]

Actually I think you have written a very interesting and heart-warming post chiechie

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience :xxgrinning--00xx3:

I don't think that most of us Brits regard our Filipina partners as 'baggage' though...rather a definite (if slightly small and cuddly) asset. :icon_lol:

thank you grahamw48 :)

[CBM]

That bit of Ancient Greek wisdom, "Call no man happy until he is dead" applies with great force to any discussion in which people offer advice on relationships.

Love is a very risky business, but the upside is that you may end up with a family.

I have baggage - two half Filipino boys aged 17 and 10, and a divorce.

Kay's baggage is much less - one boy who was two when we met and is about to be four, and no marriage. So far as he is concerned, I'm Daddy. It's easy for me - I have lived in the Philippines and in other places, but for Kay she is taking the risk of taking on two bigger boys and moving to an alien place. I don't need to be a genius to know that her son must always come first - so he should - and that my major attaction is that I have "Good (step) father" written all over me - it's better than having "ATM" written all over me!

She also has to put up with a lot of chismis from neighbours - she was accused of having a Filipino boyfriend as well as a foreign fancy man - this rumour came a bit unstuck when her brother, who works in Manila and visits at weekends, and I made a point of very visibly going out for a beer together!

[Slip]

Well as a newbie on the Filipino dating front I read this thread with great interest!!!

I met a lovely Filipino on a Filipino dating website and we have been chatting for a couple of months now. She is currently working in Malaysia and we chat on facebook and whats app throughout the day despite the time difference between there and me in the UK.

As a complete online dating newbie I was very cautious at the start that she only wanted me for my money. I actually have none and have told her that :icon_lol: But Over the past couple of months I believe her to be a genuine person and really has fallen in love with me (she tells me several times a day) I guess I have also fallen in love with her, but for some reason I am still very cautious that it is a con and she is only after me for money. I don't care how much I fall for her, I will never send money to her as I have yet to meet her. And even after meeting her I doubt I would send money. I know she is desperate for a kid and she has mentioned she would like to have one with me. I would also like a kid and would quite happily fulfil her wishes. But I am scared she is using me to have a child and will take the kid back home and I would never see my child again.
As I have no money and she is on a contract for another 18 months we have no plans to meet just yet. But do you think I am being overly cautious? It's just I have read so many stories about Filipino girls that I cant help it!

[Terpe]

I think you need to decide for yourself how to conduct a Long Distance Relationship. You will receive the opinions of others covering the complete spectrum.

There must always be trust.

Of course there will be risks whenever you put your trust in others.
Just as it can be very risky to always err on the side of mistrust.

I wish you good luck.

[Dan T]

I know this old thread but you been with her 3 years and still not sure?